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Pokémon Tale of Legends

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Author notes: Battles throughout story, may be considered to have mild violence.


15
Cover by me.
Now for the actual fic:

Volume I: Tale of Legends

Beginning of a Journey
Iona’s straight black hair flowed halfway down as carefully stroked her Purrloin. She was more of a pet, not the Pokemon one would take on her journey. That would be the starter she was about select, as soon as Professor Finnar was ready. Not that Iona was impatient, but she had been waiting for HOURS.
Finally, her brown eyes saw the glass door slide open and the professor stood in the doorway.
“Good morning, Iona,” Finnar greeted.
“I've been here since eight I'm the morning. It's now eleven at night. What took you so long?”
“Well, I was typing some Pokedex updates for every trainer and performer in the region, sending them out, having my computer buffer for half an hour(Iona would have just kicked it), cooking my lunch, making sure the update actually made it to each Pokedex, taking a nap and then I studied Z-crystals and Mega Stones. Afterwards, I contacted your parents to hear that you left the house at seven thirty.”
“Maybe if you answered the door, you might not have problems with someone waiting all day.”
“I suppose you'd like your Pokemon?”
Iona nodded as Professor Finnar went back into the building. She followed to a room where a Froakie was making a mess, a Fennekin was taking a nap and a Chespin having a snack. Messy, lazy or hungry... Iona thought.
“Are there any other options?” she asked.
“Unfortunately, we have the standard starters and that would be it.”
“Transfer complete,” a computer beeped. “Turtwig, Chimchar and Piplup received for Professor Wenttog.”
"Are you sure?" Iona asked, having heard the computer.
“There are more now,” Finnar sighed.
Iona walked over to the Pokeball transfer machine and picked up the three she opened them, letting the Sinnoh starters out. The Chimchar ran off immediately ran off, the Turtwig snuck up on Chespin, stole its Poke puff and returned to its ball and the Piplup stood next to Iona.
“This one,” she said, picking up Piplup.
The professor nodded, then called her assistant to bring I'm the other required supplies for Iona's journey. In a few moments, Iona had all she would need. Badge case, Pokedex, five balls and Piplup's ball. She offered to help clean up Froakie's mess, but was told that it wasn't necessary.
Iona stepped out the door, carrying her Piplup. She then grabbed her bicycle and pulled out Piplup's Pokeball.
“Lup! Pip-pip! Piplup!” she said, shaking her head as and struggling as Iona held up the ball.
“What's wrong?”
“Pip! Pip-piplup!” It used Bubble on the ball.
“Oh,” Iona answered, leaning down to pick up the ball, “Can you handle riding in the basket, then?”
A cheerful “Lup!” was all it took for Iona to be able to tell.
Iona set Piplup gently into the basket and began to pedal. Purrloin knew the way home and Iona knew that home was where Purrloin would go.
 
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DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Kenya
Iona pedaled quickly down Vaniville path, in hopes of reaching the next town by morning, Piplup riding cheerfully in the basket. Then a Kirlia crossed into the path, but she didn't see it.
“PIPLUP!”
"Wha-" Iona started, then saw the Kirlia and slammed on the breaks, kicked down the kickstand and hopped off her bike. “Piplup, we're gonna catch that Kirlia. Go, Piplup and use Bubble!”
Piplup jumped out of the basket and used Bubble obediently, however the Kirlia dodged.
“Use Bubble again! Then Icy Wind when it's distracted!”
The Bubble missed by several feet and as the Icy Wind was fired, the Kirlia vanished and used Disarming Voice from an unknown location. And then there were twelve. Twenty-four. Forty-eight.
“Icy Wind, straight upwards!”
And forty-seven were gone. One stood.
Then came the Leech Seed that smacked Piplup.
“Piplup!” Iona rushed over to help Piplup, untangling the vines that were sapping her energy.
“Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I've been after that Kirlia all day! We made an agreement that if I was to win the battle, she would join my party, and then she evolved while we were battling, so me and Ches are even more determined to get her now.”
Iona’s eyes fluttered in confusion. The girl talked to fast to understand, but something about her tone said “Back off, that Kirlia is mine.”
“Ches, use Pin Missile!” the other girl called, fixing the greenish grey hat atop her short, red-tinted brown hair.
The Chespin nodded, flinging out several pins, two of which missed, but the others were right on target.
“Ches, use Vine Whip!”
Vines knocked the Kirlia off her feet, before snacking her.
“Ches, use Leech Seed!”
The Chespin fired a seed that hit the Kirlia as she stood up, and began to sap her energy.
“Ches, use Pin Missile!”
These ones were all perfectly on target, and the Kirlia fell, defeated. The girl grabbed a Pokéball, threw it, and it shook once...twice...thrice...then the button flashed yellow.
“Locked! There's my Kirlia! Her name is Lila!”
“Are you bragging to me?”
“Nope! I say that every time, only with different names, right Ches?”
“Pin!”
“Are you from Sinnoh? Your Piplup is adorable!”
“No. I'm from Vaniville Town, but Professor Finnar received Piplup, Turtwig and Chimchar from Sinnoh just a few minutes ago, so I lucked out with being ignored since eight in the morning.”
“You're a newbie, then?”
“I guess…?”
“Hm. Scan Ches into your ‘Dex, so you can see the Chespin info whenever, and so you're a little closer to completing it. And I'm scanning your Piplup,” the girl reached into her pocket, and pulled her Pokedex out. She pointed the camera part of the handheld green computer at Piplup.
Iona reached into her basket, pulling out a blue version of what the other girl had, and aiming her own camera at Ches.
“And Lila,” the girl handed the ball over to Iona. “Just make sure you give her back”
“I touch the button to this black pad, right?” Iona asked, doing it without waiting for an answer.
“Yep!”
Iona threw the ball back to the girl as soon as Lila was registered to the Pokedex, and her ever-so-slightly tanned hand caught it.
“I'm Kenya, by the way.”
“Iona.”
“Well, Iona, I'll see ya ‘round.”
“Yeah, see you.”
 
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DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Strange Occurrences
Iona was on the move yet again, Piplup in the basket. Pedaling faster, until suddenly, for no apparent reason, Iona fell. She caught her Piplup, making sure her Pokémon was okay.
“Lup?” Piplup said, inquisitively.
“I know, I fell, don't you dare make fun of me in your weird, gibberish language.”
“Weird, gibberish language? I knew you couldn't understand us, but weird, gibberish language? That’s going a bit far!”
“Wait-you can talk? You can TALK? Why didn't you say so before?”
“I cannot talk, you can simply understand me! Perhaps if you looked down, you'd note that your hands are currently glowing! Maybe that is related to the fact that you can understand me!”
“You know, why don't you just say ‘Pip-piplup,’ Piplup? I don't like listening to you when you talk like a crazy person.”
“Pip. Call me Pip. And I'm being quite serious, Iona.”
“Wonderful, then it must be me going insa-ANE!” The ground began falling apart behind them in a strange, purple glow. The bike fell in almost right away.
“We'll argue about this later, right now, I think you should run!”
“Right,” Iona nodded, hitting a full sprint quickly.
“And WATCH OUT!”
Swirling tentacles of the same shade of purple came out of the shattering ground and began to pull at Iona's legs.
“Pip, Icy Wind, quick!”
Pip nodded, spraying a frosty cold wind from her beak, causing the tentacles to retreat back into their hole.
Then it really went downhill. The trees exploded, and reformed themselves into two separate cages around Pip and Iona.
“I really wish I had another Pokémon right around now. Not that you're awful, you're just a water type, so you can't burn the branches.”
“Not very creative, are you? Allow me to fill in.” Pip used Bubble, which she followed with Icy Wind, and pecked all the now frozen bubbles. Their shards dug into the wood, weakening it. Then she took a final peck at the tops of some of the bars, causing them to fall.
“Great, now get me out.”
“That could be difficult...wouldn't want to hurt you.”
“Pip!” Iona lift the Pokéball and pointed it at Pip through the branches.
“Let me think...Ches could help using his Vine Whip, if you'd chosen Chimchar, you could have burnt it…”
“Just do what you did before!”
“Alright,” Pip sighed, repeating her steps.
Iona, Pip. Odd how terribly two with such similar minds work together. Regardless, I stand by my decision. Can I count on the two of you to help you with a task of utmost importance? A strange, silent voice told them.
“Depends, creepy person. What's the task?” Iona asked.
Defeat Kenya in a battle. And future battles. We cannot have Lia's chosen coming out on top in the end.
“Simple enough. We accept,” the trainer said, speaking for both her and her Pokémon.
“Great, now that y'all are done talking, I challenge Iona and Piplup to a battle!” came a familiar voice.

Strange Actions
Turn around, Kenya. Turn around.
“What in the name of Arceus?”
“Pin, Ches,” Ches shrugged.
I am Cresselia.
“THE Cresselia?”
Yes, Kenya. Now turn around, please.
“Cresselia's right, Kenya. Turn around.”
The voice sounded like a young male, and was coming from beneath her...somewhere.
“What in the name of Arceus?” Kenya gasped. It was unbelievable!
Kenya. Please turn around.
“Explain how...Arceus...I can't...Ches…”
“Don't freak out.”
Kenya felt a soft patting on her leg. She knew Ches was trying to comfort her.
“It's just...I don't..Arceus...I guess...what I mean to say is...can you please…”
Please select a sentence and complete it.
“Okay...um...I don't…”
“Try the first sentence you had. Explain how…?”
“Explain how Ches can all of a sudden talk!” Kenya said, the words practically sprinting out of her mouth.
He is doing what he has always done. The only difference is that I have given you the ability to understand him. Inevitable that I would, really.
“Oh, and that explains a lot, thanks for clarifying pretty much nothing.”
Turn around. It will make more sense in the future.
“All right, all right.” Kenya turn 180 degrees, to see Piplup attacking...the air. Then Iona said something to Piplup, which seemed to become an arguement.
Your friend, Iona, has found herself in a situation. There is no way for her to avoid doing Darkrai's dirty work. However, with the current circumstances, we cannot have her succeeding, and spreading nightmares across the entire world. I request you battle her. And win, please.
“Okay…” Kenya sprinted in Iona's direction, taking note of what was going on.
“Simple enough,” Kenya heard Iona say. “We accept.”
“Great, now that y'all are done talking, I challenge Iona and Piplup to a battle!” Kenya said.
 

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
To Find People Like That Out Here
Roman stared down at the two girls, knowing he could not interfere until the battle had ended.
“To find people like that out here…” he had muttered when he saw them being chosen. “is almost unthinkable. Legendaries have never chosen a trainer on a Route One before!”
“Tep, should we go with the winner of this battle or go by virtue?”
“You forgot one...trainer. Whoever has two out of the three.”
“Tep, you really shouldn't be the one whose memorized the entire rulebook cover-to-cover!”
But since you can't, Ray reminded Roman, Tep ought to take some responsibility.
“Ray. Really? You know, it would be nice if you two didn't hang up on me non-stop.”
“Would you prefer I just say ‘te-tep-tepig?’”
“No, Tep, I like knowing what you're saying...most of the time.”
“How about just when I insult you?”
“Ray’s right, you are responsible.”
“I take pride in that.”
“You don't have much else to take pride in.”
“Well, I was the Pokémon of choice for Rayquaza's trainer of choice, so there's that.”
“Tep, that's not too impressive. It just mean I preferred you to a Snivy and an Oshawott back in Unova, which is true of literally every starter Tepig that has a trainer.”
“Te-pig.”
“Insulting me, are you?”
I believe he is.
“We should pay attention to the battle,” Tep said, as the Darkrai-chosen girl sent Piplup forward to battle Chespin.
“You're right.”
“And you're te-te. Ray, take us lower.”
Who put you in charge? Ray communicates. I chose Roman, not you.
“Yeah, well, Roman's too much of an idiot to command you to do that.”
“I'd put you in your Pokéball if that didn't involve you creating a bunch of fireworks with some moves.”
“And the Pokéball falling and shattering. Then I'd be free and you'd be lonely. Ray, take us lower before I scorch your face off.”
You know I'd win.
“Then Roman would be extra lonely because you'd drop him somewhere.”
“Ray, I think Tep's right, take us lower.”
Ray nodded, flying a bit closer as the Spiny Nut Pokémon blocked an Icy Wind with his Vine Whip, before following with a Pin Missile. Piplup got hit by three of five, before running in for a Peck. The grass-type used a Leech Seed to try to stop Piplup, but she jumped over it. Then, she strafed left, before running in for a successful Peck.
Rai has them asleep in a nightmare. Ray reminded Tep and Roman
“Rai?” Roman asked.
We legendaries make a point of knowing what each other prefer to be called. Partially so we can mess it up on purpose. It's my meeting to call Kyo ‘Ogre’ for Rachi's whole week awake.
“You bring that up every conversation for the past week,” Roman pointed out.
“That's because the meeting is in just two days. days,” Tep stated.
The Piplup jumped over another Leech Seed, before ducking under Chespin's Vine Whip, landing, rolling right, stopping and jumping. The Chespin caught her in Vine Whip before using Leech Seed.
“Ray, do you think Rai is above manipulating the nightmare to help the girl win?”
No. Rai's not above much at all.
“I figured as much.”
Chespin used Vine Whip to toss Piplup, before snacking her a couple of times and finishing off with a trio of Pin Missiles.
“Cresselia's girl won,” Tep noted aloud.
“Yeah, I think we all saw that.”
“Just making sure you weren't to stupid to tell.”
“I have a brain, Tep.”
“Not a very intelligent one. Most of your big head is empty space. Practically hollow.”
I hate to say it, but you're right about his ego.
“Better than not agreeing at all.”
“Since when do I have a big ego?”
“Always.”
“I always figured you were the one with the ego, Tep.”
“Totally.”
You both have humongous egos.
“You mean Roman has a humongous ego?”
“I really should put you in the ball.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Nah, I don't need luck, I've got skill.”
“Ego.”
“Okay, I've got a bit of an ego, but you've got more of one.”
“It's a good first step to admitting your flaws.”
“I can't stand you sometimes.”
“I can't blame you sometimes.”
 

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Rachi's Meeting: Part 1
Iona stared into the sky, as the hole in space and time burst open. It had been almost two days since she and Pip battled Kenya.
“You said you wanted me to come with, right? How do you anticipate I do so?”
Climb a tree and jump for the sake of survival. I’ll give you a boost if you need it.
“Great plan, Rai,” Pip said sarcastically. “Just one thing, how am I supposed to get there?”
Pokéball.
“I am NOT going into that thing!”
“And what about my bike?”
New plan: I'll just carry the bike with you two on it.
“That sounds a bit better,” Iona said, kicking up her kickstand as Pip climbed into the basket.
Rai latched a shadowy hand around the handlebars and Iona gripped tighter. They lifted off toward the hole in the very fabric of the universe, and Iona laughed at herself. It was so fun to look down from here, where the rest of the world looked tiny! She'd always thought it'd be terrifying, but really, it was the exact opposite!
But the hole was a different story. The turbulence nearly broke Iona's grip, and she ended up having to hold Pip with one arm, weakening it more. But, the good news was, she was able to keep herself from vomiting the entire time.
Finally, the trio landed in a a different land. An odd place: the ground was a glowing blue, and completely lifeless. The sky was a moonless night. The only sign that this place had other life lied inside a green, crystalline orb that on could barely see through. Inside, Jirachi slept. Rachi, Iona reminded herself.
The stars were portals, Iona realized. Like the one they had come through.
A green serpent with a boy on its back slithered through the sky. Rayquaza. It didn't come down.
A familiar form came down. How did she recognize it? Iona tried to recall. As the girl let go of the top pink ring and hopped to the ground, Iona remembered. Kenya. Ches jumped down after her. Cresselia.
Several other powerful Pokémon camd through holes, and Iona noticed that there was a lake or Ocean not far away. Kyogre came into that area. Suicune also stepped onto the water, and the Lake Guardians all eventually floated out above the waters, and Lugia came out into the ocean as well.
One by one, each legendary and mythical came through the portals, and Rai's voice echoed inside Iona's head telling her what they all preferred to be called. She only questioned one of them, Ogre for Kyogre. Rai laughed a bit, before explaining that several of the legendaries-Rai, Ray(Rayquaza), Don(Groudon), Zek(Zekrom), Luna(Lunala), Leo(Solgaleo), Tei(Entei), Tres(Moltes), Y(Yveltal), Gia(Lugia), Regi(one of the Titans, Rai refused to clarify which), Tia(Latias), Tina(Giratina), Xys(Deoxys) and Hoopa(Who was Hoopa? Hoopa, of course!)-rotated cally Kyo ‘Ogre’ during the meetings. Although, it was a bit difficult to continuously do so as Zy(or Guard, as they jokingly referred to Zygarde as) disliked the arguments at the meetings, as did Rachi.
Seemingly moments after the last Legend arrived, Rachi's orb began to glow, and the meeting came to order.
“Welcome to the ten millionth, eight hundred seventy-nine thousandth, three hundred first Meeting of the Legends!” Rachi announced. “Does anyone have any subjects of worry to speak of?”
“Ultra Beasts,” Kyo stated. “I've seen them in my Hoenn oceans recently. I often need Tia and Tia's help to send them back where they belong.”
“Perhaps, then, it's time we invite them to the Meetings of the Legends?” Luna offered.
“No! No. NO!” Kyo said.
“I agree with Ogre,” Ray brought up. “The other week, Roman, Tep and I were randomly attacked by a whole group of UB Symbionts! Roman was almost infested by one of the things!”
Inky, follow our lead. Don't let them realize we’re here. A female voice rang in Iona's head, different from Rai's.
Okay, Mal! A younger, more childlike voice, presumably Inky's rang.
Are you sure it was a good idea to bring Inky, Mal? A more masculine voice came.
Mar, it'll be fine! I think we can keep her out of any trouble! Besides, if it all goes down hill, everyone knows that even our pre-evolution can't resist our power! Mal's voice promised.
Are we sure that the Legends aren't more powerful than that? Mar argued.
Of course! We ARE Malamar after all, the world's greatest hypnotists! Mal confirmed.
I suppose now is the time to strike, then? Mar asked.
Look at them, bickering about Ultra Beasts! Of course it is.
Hey, Malamar, you know you're not being discreet. Iona desperately tried to communicate.
You-you can hear us? Mal seemed shocked.
Seems like it. But I don't think the rest of them can, so go ahead, before they do notice. I'll use my very nice advantage of knowing and pull my own hair while closing my eyes. You think that's enough to protect my mind?
All right then, let's crash this party!
As Iona saw the two Malamar and the Inkay float in, her eyes flew shut, and and with one hand, she covered Pip's eyes completely.
“Pip, use Pound on yourself!” Iona whispered urgently, removing her black sweater and folding it, before tying it over Pip's eyes.
“Tep, use Protect!” Iona heard a boy yell.
“Ches, tie my scarf over your face! Lia, you use my vest!” Kenya shouted. “Hoopa, I know you probably don't like me telling you what to do, but open up some rings to get as many people and Pokémon out of here! Diane, can you create opaque diamonds and fuse them together to make a few more blindfolds for people? Any other Pokémon know Protect?”
“Why?” one of the Legends asked.
“I overheard some Malamar talking about coming and hypnotizing all of the-”
Iona could practically sense the Malamar using their hypnotic powers, cutting off Kenya's sentence, even if she could also tell that they weren't effecting her as she tugged at her own hair as hard as she could.

Rachi's Meeting: Part 2
“They're gone!” a boy called.
Kenya removed the hat from over her face. “Whose left?”
“You, me, Tep, your Chespin, Ray and Cresselia. I also don't think Darkrai's girl is controlled, but she still went with them.”
“Add my Kirlia, since I don't think they got Lila through her Poké Ball.”
“Seven.”
“How can we free them?”
“Beat the Malamar. Does your Kirlia know any Fairy-type moves?”
“Disarming Voice.”
“Does your Chespin know any Bug-type moves?”
“Pin Missile.”
“Perfect. Get on Cresselia's back.”
Kenya nodded, swung one leg over Lia's body, and grabbing the top ring for support. She then removed the vest from over her face and buttoned it back up around her body. She looked down to see Ches trying to untie her pale orange scarf from over his face, and carefully bent down, untied it, lifted him, and placed the small grass-type in front of her, before tying the scarf on her neck as it was usually.
The boy jumped, a lot higher than Kenya anticipated from him, and Rayquaza flew underneath him, catching him. The Tepig ran up the lowest part of the space serpent’s tail.
“How much farther?” Ches asked at one point, surprising Kenya.
“Ah!” Kenya cried quietly, before calming herself down. “Oh yeah, I can understand you now. I don't know how much farther.”
A few moments later, Kenya felt something wrapping around her. It was semi-transparent and pink. Also hollow. She was trapped in a diamond shell! How?
Then the ring slipped over her and she knew that instant. She had been captured by the possessed Legendary Pokémon!
Another ring appeared inside the diamond, and a hand came through it, untying her scarf and stealing her hat and vest.
“Look who Diancie and Hoopa grabbed,” came a voice she'd heard before. Iona.
“You don't look as possessed as everyone else here,” Kenya commented.
“That's because I'm not. I made a decision and you can deal with the fact that I'm not the girl you thought you met the other night.”
“You seemed like a good person!”
“And I thought I was. But I'm not! I'm selfish, greedy, one might even say I'm evil!”
“All people have faults! Selfish doesn't mean evil!”
“Mal, shut her up!”
The Malamar created a bright light from her spots, which was reflected throughout the diamond, making it impossible for her to look away. She squeezed her eyes shut.
“Now, now, Kenya,” Iona said. “Open yourself to new ideas. Join my side.”
Iona's words were so...compelling...with the Malamar already trying to rip her mind away. Kenya unwilling opened her eyes a little bit, weakening her control of herself ever so slightly.
“That's it,” Iona coaxed, “a bit more. Come on Kenya, we know you want to let Mal become your mind. Think of it, you'll never have to make the hard choices again. You'll never have to fight again. Your life will be easy from now on.”
It all sounded so...good! Could this Malamar make it real? No, she shook the thought from her head. This Malamar wouldn't help her; she would turn her into a mindless puppet!
“Mar, she's fighting back.”
Seconds later, Kenya felt herself weakening even more. She bit her lip, trying to think, and she found herself a little bit stronger. Pain helped! She dug her nails into her palms and began kicking herself. With each time she kicked, she found her focus a little bit stronger.
“Why are you kicking yourself? It must hurt, you should stop.”
It does hurt. Why would I hurt myself? Kenya realized that she was still responding to Iona's suggestions. I don't want to hurt myself, but it's the only way to hold myself together. Telling herself this seemed to calm the part of herself that wanted to listen to Iona and the Malamar.
“Kenya, you know resisting will only work for so long. Wouldn't it be nice to let all your problems go away? You would never have to worry, never have to feel pain. Mal and Mar could make your world perfect, if you let them.”
If I let them, I could live the rest of my life in a perfect world. Kenya fought it down. The world will be without problem, but also without joy. Not a good trade.
“Let go of yourself.”
Let go of yourself, every voice she had ever heard echoed in her mind. Everyone's already waiting. I should join them. Kenya's eyes fluttered open, closing quickly each time, until suddenly, she didn't want to close them. She wanted to become an extension of Mal, Mar and Iona.
The hollow shell that had lost its name lifted a Poké Ball and opened it. A Kirlia appeared.
“Accept their will,” the hollow shell commanded. “They can only help you.”
Deep inside of the hollow shell, a fragment of its former self argued with every move it made.
“Break the diamond.”
If I can't help fight off the Malamar, I can still keep myself trapped in here.
The fragment fought for control of the shell, winning for just long enough to return the Kirlia into the Poké Ball.
“Break the diamond.”
Each time the shell lifted its arm to smack at the diamond, the fragment fought strong enough to bring the arm back down. But the fragment couldn't hold control beyond that.

Rachi's Meeting: Part 3
“Where's the girl?” Roman asked. A beam of blue fire ran from his hand to Tep. He could see what Tep saw and hear what Tep heard. Not that there was much change, but Roman couldn't understand the Chespin on his own.
“I don't know! Some weird pink diamond formed around her and then disappeared!”
Roman flicked his wrist, causing the beam to dissipate.
“Great,” Tep said sarcastically, “Ray, go faster.”
I don't listen to annoying Tepigs.
“Tep's right, we need to go faster.”
Ray sped up, Roman clueless as to whether or not Cresselia was keeping up.
Then, through a ring, appeared Darkrai's girl, both Malamar, an Inkay and, trapped within a shell of diamond, the girl the Chespin screamed for help.
“Please break this diamond! I've pound on it uselessly! Iona says that the only way to break it is to attack the point on the very top.”
“Mal, Mar, it's time to get rid of her permanently. Use your hypnotic powers to turn her into an extension of yourself.”
The light was clearly coming, but Roman closed his eyes when it did, listening to the girl's pleading.
“All done!” the girl working with the Malamar said. “Now, Inky, please use Psybeam to send Kenya to join our army.”
The Inkay shot a Psybeam at the top of the diamond, causing it to shatter. Cresselia's chosen fell uncomplainingly through the ring.
“Who joins our side next?”
“Nobody,” Roman answered.
“I know! We've got Kenya, so now we should see if we can get Lia!”
“Pin!” Chespin sent a quartet of Pin Missiles, hitting each Malamar twice.
“Tep, time for a quick dismount!”
“Quick dismount?” the Malamar-sider seemed confused.
Roman swung his left leg over so as to put himself in the astride position in which he had seen several girls riding Ponyta and Rapidash in. He quickly slid down Ray's side, and Tep jumped down after him. Eventually, the freefalling fire-type reached his level, and Roman grabbed his Tepig. When they were approximately ten feet above the ground, Tep used Protect to break their fall. Ray followed them down as quickly as the Legendary could.
Chespin used Vine Whip to lower himself from Cresselia to the ground. Cresselia floated down as soon as the grass-type’s feet landed.
“Show-off,” she said, floating down with the Malamar.
Roman reached into his pocket and tapped the record button that had previously been added to his Pokédex “Double battle, no Legends,” Roman challenged. “If I win, the Malamar agree to release everyone they control.”
“Deal. But if I win, you agree to turn over Ches, Cresselia and Rayquaza. Mal, Mar, it was seems I need your assistance.”
“Tep, Ches, battle ready!”
Ches and Tep both jumped forward, ready to attack. Roman pulled out his Pokédex to check Ches’ moves, getting four moves spit back out at him. He had previously seen three of them in action, but he wanted to make sure he hadn't misremembered.
“Tep, use Flame Charge! Ches, use a Pin Missile!” The Tepig cloaked himself in flames, while five pins shot from Ches’ head. Each pin seemed to hurt the Malamar they hit more than the last, while Tep's Flame Charge plowed into the Malamar's abdomen.
“Mar, use Hypnosis!”
“Tep, quick, Magnitude!”
The Malamar's lights didn't even hit full power before the whole ground was shaking, hurting both Malamar and Ches.
“I'd say that's a nine,” Roman smirked.
“Looks like Mal and Mar aren’t the only ones that hurt. Mal, Psybeam, Mar, Night Slash!”
Each Malamar used a different move, both targeting Tep.
“Protect!” Roman commanded. “And now,” he rolled up his sleeve to reveal an odd bracelet-one with many screens, and a red stone at the top, “I give you...my Z-Research Ring!”
“Z-Research? Boring.”
“Shut up, I didn't make it! Finnar, X and that one old scientist…I forget his name.”
“You say it like not everybody forgets it ..,” Tep reminded Roman.
“Tep doesn't know either,” Roman stated, “but Finnar did all the work anyway. Tep, Flame Charge!”
Roman then began the poses. He knew them well by now; he'd done it so many times that he could do it without much thought into the steps.
Finally, the Inferno Overdrive came and went, taking out one of the Malamar.
Suddenly, a faint glow came from Tep's body. Then it got brighter. And brighter. To the point where Tep was only visible by his silhouette, which was already beginning to change. Until it stopped, the glow faded, and what was once a Tepig was now a Pignite.
“Look who just gained a fatal flaw,” his opponent smirked. “You're now weak to my Psychic-type moves.”
“Yeah, well, I took out your Psybeam Malamar. Tep, finish this with Magnitude!”
The ground shook again, and when it stopped, only Tep still stood.
“Seven.”
“Don't blame me, I don't choose!”
“It was good.”
“I'm rotten but I'm no liar. I'll leave you five to go do as you please.”
“The Legends,” demanded Roman.
“Already free. I chose Mal and Mar because they wouldn't hold up the deal. But, after being fainted, they don't really have a choice. Also because they refused to bring Pip.”
Does she refer to the Piplup holding the end of my tail?
“Ray, you could have mentioned the Piplup earlier,” Roman pointed out.
The Piplup stepped forward, and moved to stand by her trainer.
 

Negrek

Spindrift
Staff
Welcome to the forums! Thanks for posting your story here. It's an interesting one, which I thought was going to be a typical new-trainer-gets badges story, but it obviously hasn't gone that way at all. You have an interesting mix of characters here, and a number of different groups that seem to be in conflict. It's too bad the meeting with Jirachi got interrupted--I was curious to see where the thread about the Ultra Beasts was going to go. I'm curious to see what we'll learn about what the Malamar were up to when they decided they wanted to go after the legendaries--surprising enough that the two of them were able to hypnotize so many powerful pokémon to begin with!

One thing I would recommend is that you double space between paragraphs, leaving blank lines between them the way you see me doing in this post. This breaks up the text and makes it a lot easier to read your story!

I think Iona is my favorite character at this point. Kenya and more Roman have acted more like straightforward heroes up to this point, but it's harder to figure out Iona's game. She's not precisely "a bad guy," but she's obviously not above using others to further her own ends, her motives seem pretty selfish, and it isn't clear what she's going to get up to in the future. She has some of the funniest dialogue and generally seems to be having a good time throughout the story, chaos or no, which is its own sort of entertainment. A good choice to start off your story with.

I do at times get a little confused when you have a lot of characters talking--it's hard for me to tell who's saying what. It might help to add more dialogue tags, like "X said," to indicate who's speaking. I had particular trouble during "To Find People Like That Out Here," since you brought in several new characters without introducing all of them first. I didn't originally realize there were thee people in that scene, so it was pretty confusing to parse all the dialogue!

Regardless, this is a fun, high-octane story you have here. Thanks for sharing it, and I hope you have fun putting together more chapters.
 

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Welcome to the forums! Thanks for posting your story here. It's an interesting one, which I thought was going to be a typical new-trainer-gets badges story, but it obviously hasn't gone that way at all. You have an interesting mix of characters here, and a number of different groups that seem to be in conflict. It's too bad the meeting with Jirachi got interrupted--I was curious to see where the thread about the Ultra Beasts was going to go. I'm curious to see what we'll learn about what the Malamar were up to when they decided they wanted to go after the legendaries--surprising enough that the two of them were able to hypnotize so many powerful pokémon to begin with!

One thing I would recommend is that you double space between paragraphs, leaving blank lines between them the way you see me doing in this post. This breaks up the text and makes it a lot easier to read your story!

I think Iona is my favorite character at this point. Kenya and more Roman have acted more like straightforward heroes up to this point, but it's harder to figure out Iona's game. She's not precisely "a bad guy," but she's obviously not above using others to further her own ends, her motives seem pretty selfish, and it isn't clear what she's going to get up to in the future. She has some of the funniest dialogue and generally seems to be having a good time throughout the story, chaos or no, which is its own sort of entertainment. A good choice to start off your story with.

I do at times get a little confused when you have a lot of characters talking--it's hard for me to tell who's saying what. It might help to add more dialogue tags, like "X said," to indicate who's speaking. I had particular trouble during "To Find People Like That Out Here," since you brought in several new characters without introducing all of them first. I didn't originally realize there were thee people in that scene, so it was pretty confusing to parse all the dialogue!

Regardless, this is a fun, high-octane story you have here. Thanks for sharing it, and I hope you have fun putting together more chapters.
On your point about the distruption of Rachi's Meeting, I don't know when I'll have the return of the Malamar, but it's coming. And there are more groups to introduce, still.

On your suggestion for paragraphs, I'll try to edit that in soon.

About the fact that Iona is your favorite charachter so far, she's been one of the most fun to write for me. The other would probably be Tep. And, though it was initially supposed to be the typical new-trainer-goes-out-gets-badges-beats-Elite-Four-then-Champion-plus-evil-team-world-saved-story-over, I got a bit sidetracked by the idea of being 'chosen by Legends,' and then I realized that it was a way better main thing for the story than the typical idea.
 

Negrek

Spindrift
Staff
More groups still? Sounds like things are going to get pretty crazy, haha. I know what you mean about getting sidetracked by a legendary plot after starting to write a trainer fic. It seems to happen a lot of ordinary journey stories! Glad you're having fun with it, though. It definitely puts a new spin on things.
 

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Returned To Reality
Iona pedaled into Aquecorde Town, looking around. Every window she, Pip and Rai past flew shut, and every child curious about her and Rai was grabbed by his or her mother or father and brought inside.


“Why's everyone afraid of us?” Pip asked.


“Rai is a famously terrifying Pokémon.”


Unrightfully so. I don't earn my reputation.


“Psst,” a woman said. “Trainer. Trainer. You, with Rai.”


Lynne! She quit training-or traveling years ago, but I think her Delphox is still pretty strong, despite how much he's aged.


“Over here!” Lynne whispered to Iona.


Iona sped up her pace, walking into the house. She got a better look at Lynne now. She had greying brown hair, and blue eyes. Narrow framed glasses surround her blue eyes, and a grey-blue patternless kimono-like dress covered the better part of her body.


“You must be Rai's new partner,” Lynne said. “Come on in.”


Iona followed the former trainer into her house, looking around.


“You're the second trainer to come through here travelling with a Legend today.”


“Who else?” Iona asked.


“Cresselia.”


Iona smirked. “Well, then, we better keep moving! Can't let Kenya be even a footprint ahead.”


Pip nodded.


“Before you go, I want you to take something. Mistyc and I can't raise another Pokémon at this point, so I'd like you to take this.” Lynne took out a yellow egg, with a red area on top. “It won't hatch for a while, though. We gave one to Cresselia's partner, too, of course."



To Make A Z-Crystal

Home. That's what the Kalos branch had become after Finnar had found him, Tep and Yem, his Elgyem, floating on a piece of driftwood. They'd tried not to let him in, the amateur trainer he was back then. Thankfully, Roman was chosen by Ray the very second he turned to leave.


And the Kalos branch was where he had returned. Finnar, X and that one old scientist that she was right above greeted him.


“How's Yem? And the research? Did you manage to make it work?” Roman asked.


Finnar smiled, holding out a hand with a slate grey crystal in it. In the center, three dots. “We haven't tested it,” the researcher admitted, “but the fact that we were able to get it made is amazing progress! Yem is doing quite well, and I think he's been enjoying working on it. The Z-Crystal may not be exactly natural, but it still exists. You think you can try out the Z-move? We call it UFO Blast.”


“Which move is it a powered-up version of?”


“Confusion.”


Roman nodded, joining Finnar in the elevator, going down thirteen floors, onto the floor that she practically had to herself, even though she had her own entire facility in Vaniville. It had once been in Lumiose, but it had gotten burnt down. Probably because she had tried to use a unique-and unsuccessful-type of Z-Move with a crystal that had shattered right in front of it.


He walked into the main experimentation section, cut of safely from the rest of her lab, probably to avoid a repeat of Lumiose. He removed the Firium Z and put in the Yemium Z, as Finnar had called it.


“Yem, Confusion!” Roman shouted. Next to him, a red outline of a human appeared, positioning himself into poses, which Roman strained to match. One finger out of place could mess the whole thing up, according to Finnar.


Yem pointed a hand forward, each of his fingers flashing. A three-colored disc appeared, splitting, and three powerful beams flew across the room. The crystal split into three parts, falling onto the floor. The UFO Blast had worked, and that was probably the best first step Finnar could imagine.


Roman swept up the remains of the Z-Crystal into her hand and stepped out.


“That was amazing! I’m so glad you were here to help! I think of all our Yemium Z tests, that was the best! I think I know why it still broke, too. Can you help me tomorrow? I saved all the data from your Z-Ring, and I think that you were detached from the crystal, because Assistant was the one working on it with Yem. Unfortunately, if Assistant had been using the Z-move, I think that he would have been distrusted by Yem, so the move would've failed.”


Roman nodded at this, pretending to understand.

For the next weeks, Roman and Yem worked on the Yemium Z. Repeat the poses, use the normal move. Borrow a Psychium Z, use Shattered Psyche. Repeat. Stand still in a weird technology-based tube-thing. Repeat first five steps. Try hopelessly to help Finnar and her assistant analyze the data. Attempt to break a Psychium Z because Finnar wants a natural Z-Crystal in it. Give up on doing so using Yem's Confusion. Use Inferno Overdrive because Finnar took the Psychium Z that was borrowed. Shatter remains of old Yemium Z because Finnar thinks they'll help new Yemium Z. Get annoyed with the assistant.


Finally, the new Yemium was done. Finnar wanted to try it on different Pokémon right away, and Roman wouldn't complain as long as Finnar let him keep the Z-Crystal.


“Yem, Confusion!” he said. First, they were simply testing to see that move could be used this time without shattering the Z. Roman repeated the poses, and UFO Blast repeated at the end, only this time, the Yemium Z stayed whole!


Next, Finnar wanted to try it on a Pokémon who took neutral damage from the move and didn't have Own Tempo. Roman and Yem came back in during the argument. Tep was nominated by her assistant, but Finnar was quick to explain to him that the Pignite was a fighting-type. Ray could not quite fit in the elevator, and Roman had no Master Ball, or even Ultra Ball, to throw at Ray in order to catch the Legend. Finnar's assistant pointed out that all of his Pokémon would take only half the damage, being psychic-types. And this is what led them to selecting X, Finnar's legendary partner, better known as Xerneas.


Roman and Yem used UFO Blast yet again, and watched as X became confused. Finnar returned X to a Master Ball using a weird robot-arm-thing from the other part of her lab, curing the Legend’s confusion, then let X back out.


“Again!” Finnar said over the earpiece she had decided to have Roman use during testing.

Roman and Yem attempted to repeat the move, but the Z-power wouldn't activate.


“Come back into the main lab,” Finnar instructed. X was returned to the Master Ball.


Roman walked out into the main lab, wondering if Finnar had known it would fail.


“I have good news and bad news. Good news: it is a completely effective Z-Crystal. Bad news: that means it will only gather Z-Power if you haven't unleashed any during the battle. Oh, and I have something else for you. Think of it as thanks for helping with my research.” Finnar reached under her desk and removed a cardboard box. From said box, she took out an egg. It was mostly green, with a brown patch on one side.


“Oh!” Finnar seemed surprise by something. It took only a moment for Roman to be able to tell why. A crack appeared. And then another. Until several cracks covered the entirety of the egg. A foot broke through the shell, followed by three more. Then, a twig, with two leaves attached to it. The shell fell away, to leave a Turtwig in Finnar's arms, staring at Roman.
“All yours,” Finnar promised.
 

Negrek

Spindrift
Staff
Thanks for fixing the paragraph spacing on these chapters! They're much easier to read this way.

Ah, so we get to see some of the Z-research mentioned earlier! A little more of Iona, too, although Roman's section definitely dominates here. But Iona's egg, yellow with a red top... If Lynne has a delphox, presumably that's going to hatch into a fennekin!

In any case, it's interesting to circle back around and see more of Finnar's research after she kind of launched the whole story by giving out the starters. A bit of the mysterious past treatment for Roman, too! It's an interesting idea, creating a custom Z-crystal to power up a specific pokémon. I wonder why Finnar decided to work on that, and to use Roman's elgyem to test with, rather than a pokémon one of her own assistants would have an affinity with.

It would have been nice to see a little more interaction between Roman and Yem in this chapter, I think. The fact that Yem trusts Roman more than the assistants is kind of an important point, but we don't actually get to see a lot of that trust in practice. I imagine Roman is happy to see Yem after having left him behind for a while, yeah? I hope they got to spend some time together outside of the Z-crystal tests!

No clear indication of how these sections tie in with the larger plot, but the characters are clearly powering up for whatever might be coming next. I imagine it won't be long before we're seeing more legendary shenanigans. Should be fun. Good luck with your writing!

Also, if you enjoy stories about legendary pokémon and how they mess with humans, you might enjoy some of Umbramatic's fics. Caging Destruction is one about Yveltal learning to control her powers so she can hang out with humans, if you're interested in reading some fic as well as writing it.
 

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Santalune

Kenya knocked on the door to the gym. She knew she was at a disadvantage here, but she intended to win despite that.


"Welcome to the Santalune City Gym," the referee announced. "The battle will be two on two, and will be over when both Pokémon on either side of the field are unable to battle. Only the challenger will be able to make substitutions."


Kenya set down her orange-colored egg and selected a Pokéball. "Lila, time to shine!" she called.


"You didn't pick Cresselia. Interesting," the gym leader, Erin, said, letting out her Pokémon, a Shuckle.


"Lila, Double Team!"


"Rollout!" Shuckle went into his shell, rolling into all the fake Kirlia.


"Disarming Voice!" Shuckle took damage from the move.


"Rollout!" This time, it was a direct hit. "Struggle Bug!"


"Lila, Teleport!" The Kirlia Teleported away before the Struggle Bug hit.


"Now, Disarming Voice!" Once again, Shuckle took damage.


"Rollout!"


"Double Team!" Lila narrowly avoided the attack. "Disarming Voice!"


"Rollout!" The Double Team was taken out, before Lila was hit. "Wrap!" Shuckle wrapped Lila, causing her to take damage, and after about a minute, faint.


"Return! Ches, you're up! Vine Whip!"


Shuckle dodged the Vine Whip, which was the point.


"Leech Seed!" The Shuckle was seeded.


"Rollout!" The Shuckle hit, but pretty much all of Ches' pain was healed by the Leech Seed.


"Vine Whip!" The attack hit Shuckle.


"Bide!" The Shuckle stood still, ready to endure hits.


"Vine Whip!" Ches used the move, and Shuckle took it.


"Pin Missile!" Five Pin Missiles launched, and four of them hit, taking out Shuckle.


The gym leader sent out a Larvesta.


"Use Zen Headbutt!" Larvesta ran at Ches with the psychic-type move.


"Dodge it!" Ches jumped to the side. "Leech Seed!" Larvesta was seeded.


"Ember!" Ches couldn't move quickly enough.


"Synthesis!" Ches healed himself, and received a little more due to Larvesta being seeded.


"Ember!"


"Vine Whip!" Ches hit the Ember back, before hitting Larvesta with the attack.


"Absorb!"


"Pin Missile!" The Pin Missiles went right through the attempt at Absorb, finally knocking out Lavesta.


Erin motioned to the referee, who went out of the room, and returned holding something.


"Your Bug Badge," Erin said.


Kenya turned the badge in her hand, before taking out a case, and placing it in.


Attack!

Iona was surrounded. No wonder they didn't like these things.


"Rai, this is another one of your nightmare pranks, right?" Iona asked.


Not this time. This is the real deal.


"Great. Pip, Bubble!" Pip jumped out of the basket, using Bubble on the Ultra Beasts that happened to be Nihilego. "Inky, get out here! Use Foul Play! Rai, got anything?"


Not really.


"You've got to be kidding me! We're surrounded by Ultra Beasts and you can't do anything?"


Blame Lynne! She's the one who replaced my Dark Pulse with Sleep Talk and my Dream Eater with Rest.


"Pip, use Icy Wind, Inky, Psybeam! Why'd Lynne do that?"


Rai shrugged.


Iona watched helplessly as Pip and Inky fainted quickly.


"You know Dark Void, right?" Iona tried, returning Inky and grabbing Pip, letting her bike fall to the ground.


Electricity showed up everywhere.


Yes. But we just entered Electric Terrain, so it's totally useless right now. As are all my other moves, considering they all relate to sleep.


"We lose," Iona said.


It's karma. You fought with the bad guys, so now you lose to the bad guys.


"Shut up," Iona said.


You did kind of earn this.


A Nihilego wrapped itself around Iona's head and injected the neurotoxin.


Ultra Beasts

Roman saw a group of Ultra Beasts from above.


"Yem, what's the best course of action?"


Yem looked down at the group. I suppose the safest plan would be to avoid them, but considering we're directly above them right now, I predict we're their next targets, after whoever they're attacking right now. We could dive in and have Ray do his thing. Yem communicated telepathically.


"Good plan. Vire, return!" Roman returned his Turtwig to his Pokéball. Vire didn't mind, but Roman liked to keep his Pokémon out when he could. But Vire had hatched less than twenty-four hours ago, so he figured having him suddenly launch into battle with a swarm of super-powerful Pokémon wasn't a good idea. Tep had done this before- Nihilego had swarmed them not long before Rachi's recent meeting. Admittedly, Tep hadn't been too much help, but Roman knew he could handle himself in a crisis. As could Yem.


"Ray, bring us down," Tep said. For once, Ray listened to Tep after the group had agreed on a plan.


But, right before Ray could use Dragon Ascent, they disappeared into an Ultra Wormhole.


"Follow them!" Roman called, but before Ray could, the wormhole closed.


"Guess we're not finding out who they just attacked," Tep said.


"Whoever it was probably had a Legend. There've been piles of reports of chosens being attacked by Ultra Beasts recently."
 

Negrek

Spindrift
Staff
Hey, it's back! Lots of battles this chapter. I'm curious when those eggs are going to hatch.

"You didn't pick Cresselia. Interesting," the gym leader, Erin, said, letting out her Pokémon, a Shuckle.
Wait, how did Erin know that Kenya had Cresselia? Is Cresselia kind of out and floating around with her or something?

I think this gym battle isn't one of your better ones. There was a fair amount of "the attack hit shuckle" or "shuckle took damage," which doesn't do much to get across to me how things really played out. Giving a sense of what it looked like when shuckle "took damage"--whether it flinched or withdrew into its shell, cried out or struck back, etc.--would make things more lively. The other battles have been more dynamic in this regard.

"You've got to be kidding me! We're surrounded by Ultra Beasts and you can't do anything?"


Blame Lynne! She's the one who replaced my Dark Pulse with Sleep Talk and my Dream Eater with Rest.
This is my favorite part, lol. I'm with Iona--what was Lynne thinking??

This chapter kind of strikes me as set-up for later ones: Iona getting assimilated by the nihilego, Roman kind of indirectly finding out about it, and then Kenya... kind of off doing her own thing getting her badge. I imagine we'll be getting more with Iona in the next section, and perhaps more ultra beasts! It should be interesting... I'm curious to see how the characters' paths are going to intersect again.
 

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Hey, it's back! Lots of battles this chapter. I'm curious when those eggs are going to hatch.


Wait, how did Erin know that Kenya had Cresselia? Is Cresselia kind of out and floating around with her or something?

I think this gym battle isn't one of your better ones. There was a fair amount of "the attack hit shuckle" or "shuckle took damage," which doesn't do much to get across to me how things really played out. Giving a sense of what it looked like when shuckle "took damage"--whether it flinched or withdrew into its shell, cried out or struck back, etc.--would make things more lively. The other battles have been more dynamic in this regard.


This is my favorite part, lol. I'm with Iona--what was Lynne thinking??

This chapter kind of strikes me as set-up for later ones: Iona getting assimilated by the nihilego, Roman kind of indirectly finding out about it, and then Kenya... kind of off doing her own thing getting her badge. I imagine we'll be getting more with Iona in the next section, and perhaps more ultra beasts! It should be interesting... I'm curious to see how the characters' paths are going to intersect again.
Yeah, the gym battle chapter was something I could have been more descriptive in.

I do have the next couple of chapters written, but I want to get them edited before release in order to make sure the detail errors I made in the gym battle chapter don't show up in the next sections, since they're some of the more important parts and I don't want them to be lacking in depth.
 

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Ultra Space: Part 1

Roman waited for the Ultra Wormhole to appear. Finnar's technology predicted it would appear right above him any second now, and he had a mess he had decided to clean up. Roman studied the egg he had seen at the previous location, wondering who it belonged to. He'd left the ruined bicycle, figuring its owner wouldn't want that now that the Ultra Beasts had destroyed it. Still, who had it been? Regardless, Roman wasn't just going to leave this UB mayhem unchecked.


The wormhole flew open. "Yem, Tep, Ray, battle ready!"


They were quickly surrounded by Ultra Beasts of all sorts. Yem and Tep attacked, barely fazing most of the Ultra Beasts, while Ray did the real damage. The Rayquaza opened with Dragon Ascent, causing him to Mega Evolve. This knocked out the Ultra Beast it hit. Then, Twister knocked out several more Ultra Beasts, before the rest of their attackers were knocked out by Hyper Beam.


When the Wormhole appeared to bring the Ultra Beasts back to Ultra Space, Ray flew through. He looked around. There were several Legends here, none of which showed any interest in escaping. Strange. He also noticed several Nihilego infesting humans, some of which he recognized. One of them was Darkrai's chosen. Hadn't she had a bike at the meeting?


Why were the Ultra Beasts kidnapping Legends and their chosens? Roman wondered for the thousandth time. He didn't have time to think about this, because his thoughts were interrupted by attacking Ultra Beasts. Who Ray dealt with quickly enough.


"You again," Darkrai's chosen's voice was distorted by the bulb of Nihilego on her head. Clearly, despite that, she remembered Rachi's meeting.


Or maybe the Malamar did.


That was obviously possible, considering the two of them floated down at this moment.

"So, instead of Legends, you two are now controlling Ultra Beasts?" Roman asked.


"No," Darkrai's chosen said. "They have both. And soon, you will join us."


"Tep, Ray, Yem, battle ready!"


The Malamar sent forward Suicune, Darkrai, and Diancie. Not a good match for him. It was a good thing Ray hadn't left Mega Evolved form.


Before any of his Pokémon could do anything, they're opponents struck, Hydro Pump plowing into Tep and knocking down, Diancie's Dazzling Gleam hitting both Ray and Tep, and cleay hurting a lot of the Dragon-type. Instead of a move like Dark Pulse, Darkrai used Rest.


The Malamar lit up before Roman could command anything of his Pokémon. He covered his own eyes, hoping Tep, Yem, and Ray had been able to do something.
 

Negrek

Spindrift
Staff
Another chapter! Heh, I was kind of wondering whether Ronan was going to figure out who that bike belonged to... I guess there was nothing particularly distinctive about the bike, so it wouldn't be too easy to recognize, but who have you seen recently who has one? :P

Instead of a move like Dark Pulse, Darkrai used Rest.
lol, the worst moveset

This is a pretty big battle! I feel like Iona's going to have to get involved here somehow... it doesn't look like Ronan will be able to handle things on his own. Unless Darkrai isn't affected by the malamar while he's asleep or something.

I think there was a bit more opportunity to set the scene in this chapter. You have these masses of snarling ultra beasts, right, staring down the hero's small team. Giving a little detail would really bring the image to life and help the reader feel a sense of danger. A good place to start would be to just be specific about the kind of ultra beasts we're looking at in particular--is it a bunch of nihilego floating around, or a swarm of kartana? Maybe some guzzlord trying to take a bite out of Ronan, or some weird creature we've never seen before. It's usually more exciting to talk about things in specific ways than in general!

Hmm, that egg still hasn't hatched. Maybe that's going to end up being the key to this battle, somehow. Or maybe I'm just hung up over an inconsequential detail. :) Anyhow, ending this one on a cliffhanger, I hope you don't hold off on that next chapter for too long!
 

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Ultra Space: Part 2

Roman realized how unprepared he had come. He had not anticipated the Malamar coming back, nor them having this many Legends at their disposal. Nor that they'd fight so much less cleanly than the girl who'd helped them before.


When Roman knew they had stopped, he uncovered his eyes. Tep and Ray mindlessly joined them, while Yem defiantly stayed with Roman, loyal to his trainer.


Two Ultra Beasts walked up to the trainer and grabbed him. Roman quickly returned Yem to his Pokéball. A Wormhole opened up and they threw the him.


Facing Reality

Roman walked into Finnar's lab, Yem floating above his shoulder, Vire walking alongside him.


"Yes, this Professor Serena Finnar, what do you need?" Finnar appeared to be talking into a phone.

"Yes, I have.

"It would take months.

"I know about the Ultra Beast problem, I'm currently working on it.

"Roman has? I was wondering what kind of trouble that boy had taken off to try to deal with. He has Ray and Yem to protect him, it'll be fine. He's been in tougher situations and gotten out just fine.

"Speaking of Roman, he just walked into my lab. Please hold on a moment. I'll get back to you."


Finnar set down her phone. "Hello, Roman. Ran off to deal with some Ultra Beasts?"


"It didn't quite go as planned," he admitted.


"What's that supposed to mean?" Finnar asked cautiously.


"As it turns out, the Malamar who crashed Rachi's meeting are at it again; this time, with thousands of Ultra Beasts and several Legends. Unfortunately, that list now has Ray on it."


"That is an interesting situation you've gotten yourself into," Finnar said.


"I know," Roman admitted.


"Well, currently, it seems like the first thing you need to do is face that you lost. That's the reality. And you can't just dive face-first into everything and save the world. Sometimes, you need to make a plan.

"And sometimes, you can't expect your three Pokémon to be able to do it on their own. You have strong Pokémon and are skilled in battle, but when it comes down to Tep versus Suicune, Suicune will win. Yem versus Yveltal, Yveltal will win. Vire versus Entei, Entei will win. It's how it works. You need help."


"I don't have help available; I don't even have Tep anymore."


"You need to find help," Finnar explained. "I know a guy; We were friends back when we were children. He wouldn't want to help me specifically, but he's friends with other Chosens. X will bring you up to his location; nobody stops Xerneas."


"Great, and when I'm there?"


"He'll know X and let you in."
 
Last edited:

Negrek

Spindrift
Staff
The battle continues! But not for much longer, heh. I was a bit confused when Ray simply joined the malamar... I thought Roman must have been riding on him! But I guess the ultra wormholes are pretty close to the ground, so he was able to just walk into one?

A Wormhole opened up and they threw the him.
Typo here. I think you might have been going for "threw him in."

"Yes, I have
Looks like you forgot to complete this sentence. Or maybe just forgot a period?

Haha, Finnar is super chill about all this. "My legendary pal's been brainwashed by these malamar who've also recruited thousands of ultra beasts and other legendary pokémon for some no-doubt nefarious purpose." "Hmm, how interesting." XD

Hmmm, I wonder who Finnar's going to send Roman to for help. And why precisely they aren't friends. You haven't been using canon characters thus far, so I'm guessing no one I know... I'll just have to wait and find out!

Perhaps this will turn out to be a catalyst for Roman and Iona to team up. Finnar's right about this being a problem that's too large for one person... but it feels like it's probably too large for two as well!
 

DawningWinds

Hoopa's Chosen
Location
Unova
Pronouns
they/them
Volume II: Siege of Beasts

Champion Calem and the Elite Four

Roman sat on X's back and held the rainbow antlers, Vire on his shoulder, Yem floating above, as they reached a guard.


"Halt. Show your Bug Badge."


"I'm not here for the League. I'm here for a conversation. Professor Finnar sent me. I'm really just a messenger."


The guard frowned.


"Please note that I am currently riding on Xerneas, who could easily defeat any and all of your Pokémon in ten seconds flat," Roman offered. Finnar hadn't really said anything about guards, or even who he was going to for help. And it really didn't help that, being as he was from Unova, Roman had little knowledge of the Kalos league. He could have named all of the Unovan Champions since Alder(who had lost his seat to N, who had lost it to Hilbert before Roman had been born, who had lost his seat to Iris a year later, who also only had the seat until Rosa took it, which was accurate to date- Rosa was almost to having it fifteen years now), but could only name the current Kalos Champion.


The guard sighed, guiding him to the castle. X motioned toward the largest door. Roman dismounted, Vire still on his shoulder and Yem overhead. He walked over and knocked.


The door didn't open.


"Serena?" someone guessed from a hallway. "Change your mind?"


Roman turned to see Champion Calem enter the room.


"Not Serena. X abandoned her for a better trainer, I suppose."


"No… I doubt the reason X isn't with Serena is because Finnar is a better trainer."


"Professor Finnar IS Serena," Calem explained, looking like it was hard for him to not be laughing at Roman's lack of this knowledge. "She was a rival of mine back when we were traveling." Calem sighed. "Now, if you're not X's partner, why were you riding it?"


"Finnar sent me to get help from an old friend of hers, due to a problem that, as it turns out, I couldn't solve on my own."


"Explain."


"Currently, there are some Ultra Beasts being controlled by a duo of Malamar. They're attacking Chosens often, and they are now in control of several Legends, including my own, Rayquaza, along with my Pignite."


"And how'd that happen?"


"We flew into an Ultra Wormhole expecting to be able to beat some Ultra Beasts and save the captives," Roman admitted. "We were kind of expecting the Legends to help us, unaware of the scheming Malamar."


"I've heard that story before. Legends, Ultra Beasts, Malamar, magical portals to alternate worlds. But Rayquaza, a Pignite, a Chespin, Cresselia and some member of whatever-they-call-themselves stopped the Malamar. I take it that was you?"


Rachi's meeting. Roman thought. "Good guess. Unfortunately, I can't handle it this time."


"And why would that be?" Calem asked.


"Because the Malamar fought fairly last time."


"And why would evil scheming Pokémon fight fair?"


"Because some kid with a Piplup was helping them."


"You should talk to that trainer."


"Can't. They captured her in a Nihilego."


"And how much help do you anticipate needing?"


"As much as I can get."


"Consider that Kalos' five best trainers," Calem answered. "I'd rather stomp out the problem before Y get hypnotized. Again."



And so begins part two.
 

Negrek

Spindrift
Staff
Oh, book two? Interesting. Do you have a sense of how many books this is going to be overall?

"Not Serena. X abandoned her for a better trainer, I suppose."
Wow, harsh! Gotta admit, I'm so used to seeing Serena used as the protagonist in X/Y fic that for a second I got confused by the fact that he's champion here, heh. I guess if Serena is Finnar, it makes sense that they might not like each other much. Although dang, Calem seems like more of a jerk here than what I remembered from the games.

It was neat how you alluded to the history of the world in the paragraph where you go over previous chapters--nice and concise, but it gets the point across. I hadn't realized we were that far in the future! Also, the part where Roman points out to the badge guard that he's riding Xerneas and can damn well go where he pleases made me smile.

I think it would have been nice to see the pokémon do a little more this chapter. There are three of them out standing around while the trainers are talking... Do any of them have any opinions on what's being said? I'd kind of think X would have some kind of comment about their relationship with Serena!

I wonder what Kenya's been getting up to? Feels like it's been a while since we've heard from her.
 
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