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Pokémon Rocket

Prolouge New


Definitely not Evil
A team skull hideout somewhere
Author's notes: This is the first chapter of a story that Is very important to me as a writer, and I've wanted to post it for a while. I'm going to update it when I can, so stay tuned.


“...Hello there!”
I woke up standing in a white void. A man with gray hair, and thick black eyebrows stands before me. I jump back slightly, but the man seems indifferent. He has a blank expression on his face. I tried to say something, but he just kept speaking

“Welcome to the world of Pokémon! My name is Oak! People call me the Pokémon Professor!”

That was when I recognized him. The now dead Samuel Oak, former champion of Kanto. I stood up and brushed myself off.

“Yeah sir, I uh, I know you, you’re-”

“This world is inhabited by strange creatures known as Pokémon!” Oak continued, cutting me off.

“I know? I'm sixteen years old? This is commo-” I tried to reason with the dead Pokémon Professor once again cut me off.

“For some people, Pokémon are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself, I study Pokémon as a profession.”

“Once again, common knowledge.” I said. I grew up in Galar. We moved to Johto when I was eight. I understood the fundamentals of how this world worked.

“Well, that’s enough out of me. Are you a boy, or a girl?” Oak asked. I looked at him very confused.

“I- what? Sir, are you okay?” I asked. “Well, I guess not, because you’re dead.” Samuel Oak had been dead a total of two years. It was a great tragedy to a lot of the adults around, his death being pinned on a freak accident caused by one of his experiments. Champions from all over came to mourn his death, people like Red, Lance, and even Leon came to mourn the loss of the great man.

“Are you a boy, or a girl?” He asked again. His eyes were blank, almost devoid of emotion.

“I’m a boy, sir.” I answered. “Though I still don’t fully understa-”

“And your name?” Oak interrupted for the third time. I decided not to fight him anymore.

“Erick.” I answered.

“Well Erick, Your Pokémon journey is about to begin! Get ready to step out into the world of-”

“No.” This time, I cut Oak off. He stared at me for a second, like something in his brain had shifted. He looked confused.

“What?” He asked.

“I’m not going to be a Pokémon trainer.” I responded defiantly.

“Have it your way.” Oak scoffed, his face twisting into a sinister smile. “Keep making no money. Keep shutting yourself in. Continue to have no friends, no life.”

“I-” I didn't know what to say.

“You can just keep spending your life inside, playing ‘Animals: Salt and Pepper’ on your old used DS.”

“How do you know about that?” I asked. “How do you know about me?”

“Because, Erick, you are destined for great things.” Oak responded. He let out a laugh that shocked me to my core. I started breathing heavily. My heartbeat in my rib cage felt like the stomps of a camerupt over and over again in my chest. “Goodbye now” Oak waved. I started to fall.

I fell faster and faster, my heart pounding more and more. The stomp's rhythm picking up, sounding like the beat of a drum. Oak was gone, it was white all around me, wind rushed past my ears as I fell and then…

I jolted awake.

My whole body was in a cold sweat. I looked over and saw Chex, my Farfetch’d, was clutching on to his over-sized leek, fast asleep. I sighed softly, and flopped back onto my pillow. Posters all around me of Pokemon contest stars and champions lined my walls. My mom had put them up as an attempt to get me to leave. To go out with Chex and start my pokemon journey. But I wasn’t going to do that. The only way I would give up on my goal of becoming the best chef in the world, like no chef ever was, was some divine intervention, Like someone coming back from the dead or-

That wasn't real.
That was just a dream.
Last edited:
chapter 1 New


Definitely not Evil
A team skull hideout somewhere
Chapter 1:

Content warning: Cursing, minor sexism, and adult beverages being consumed by adults.

I walked down the stairs to the living room of my home. My mom was waiting at the table. Her messy frazzled blonde hair matched mine, as we both tended not to brush it as often as we should. Her Falinks were all over the place, its six bodies cleaning various parts of the room, or just chilling.

“Good morning Erick.” She said, There was a tone of voice that I couldn’t quite place about her. For now, I ignored it, walking to the kitchen and starting up the stove.

“Morning mom. Want anything specific in your omelet today?” I asked. I’d been making her breakfast, lunch, and dinner ever since I was a boy. I found out cooking was my passion, and Chex and I had been working on becoming professional cooks ever since.

“The usual is fine.” She said, There was something almost fake about the way she spoke. I heard her make her way upstairs as I began to crack some eggs in the pan.

“Chex, would you grab the moomoo milk from the fridge?” I asked. The farfetch’d did so as I whisked some peppers into the pan. Chex threw me the milk, which I caught without even thinking about it. I was in the zone, my arms moving into autopilot. Soon enough, breakfast was ready.

“Before we give some to mom, here you are Chex.” I handed him an omelet of his own. He smiled at me, setting his large leek to the side and starting to eat. I walked into the living room with my own plate and my mom’s. “Mom! Breakfast!”

Mom walked down the stairs holding…

Was that my bag?

“Thank you, sweetie. Please take a seat. We have something to talk about.”

“Mom I- What is this?” I asked, a little frantic “Mom I-”

“Sit. Your ass. Down.” Mom said firmly. I sat, and gave her the omelet I made for her and sat. “Erick, It’s been six years since you turned ten, and you still haven't left. You haven't gone on your pokemon journey.”

“Because I don’t want to!” I repeated, exasperated. “Not everyone needs to leave the house when their ten! I don’t even want to be a trainer! I want to be a chef! Like dad!”

“Don’t you dare speak about your father!” My mom yelled. I stopped dead in my tracks. “Your father was no man to look up to.”

“I just-” I searched for the right words in my head. “I just love cooking. I don’t want to go out and fight random kids on the side of the street. I don’t want to leave home before I’m an adult! And I don’t want to make Chex fight!”

“That Farfetch’d of yours is a fighting type.” My mom scoffed, joking in a way. She then shifted into a more serious tone. “I’ve let you loaf around this house for six years more than I should. Erick, you need to go out on your own. Professor Elm is starting a new program today, giving partner pokemon to kids who are delinquents. Who haven't left home yet. Kids like you-”

“I am not a delinquent!” I shouted. Chex Growled slightly. “And I already have a partner. Caught him with dad when I was seven.”

I immediately realized I had gone too far. Mom looked at me, shocked. Her face white.

“Get out.”

“What? Mom I didn’t mean it I-”

“Go to Elm’s. Get another partner. Then we can talk.” She said under her breath. It was more of a whisper.


I arrived at Professor Elm's Lab to see two other kids about my age. One was a girl with short red hair and freckles all over. She was fidgeting with the sleeve of her letterman jacket. She seemed very nervous. The other kid was wearing a clean light orange button up shirt. They were looking at themself in the camera of their phone, combing their hair. They turned to me, and smirked a bit.
“You here for the J.A.D.E. Program?” They asked.

“The- The what?”

They rolled their eyes at me. “The ‘Johto Advancement of Delinquents Education’ program.”

“I guess.” I sighed. Chex leaned his head against me.

“Interesting Farfetch’d you got there.” The Kid said. “You must be from Galar.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’m uh, Erick by the way. This is Chex.” Chex made a nod of approval.

“Shank.” They smiled back, shaking my hand. I almost laughed at the absolute ridiculousness of their name. “So are you here just for not leaving the house, or something more… Interesting? I mean, you have a partner already, yet you’re in this program, so what is it?”

“I didn’t leave. I don’t ever want to if I’m being honest I just didn’t want to upset my mo-” I was cut off by a shriek. Chex was staring a little confused at the ginger girl, who looked mortified. Chex seemed to shrug and walk back to me, and Shank laughed.

“Sorry Malls!” They smiled. “Molly over there is here because she wouldn’t leave home either. She’s afraid of Pokemon.”

“And you?” I asked “Why are you here?”

“Cybercrimes.” Shank laughed slightly. “I kept trying to buy shiny pokemon on the black market.”

“You can just… Do that?” I was a little taken aback.

“Yeah.” Shank said, absentmindedly. “But that’s the least interesting thing about me! I collect premier balls, I’m an Iono superfan, and one time, I met the Marnie in person.”

“Marnie?” I asked. “The one from Spikemuth?”

“Hell yeah dude.” Shank grinned

“I’m from Spikemuth too!” I smiled.

“Uh, so uh, Guys…” Molly stuttered, interrupting us. “Should we, uh, g- go inside?”

“I suppose.” Shank huffed. They were about to open the door when a group of three kids burst out on their own. They looked about ten, and they were holding a Cyndaquil, Chikorita, and Totodile respectively. I watched them walk away, and struggled to hold back my expression of annoyance.

“D- Don’t like watching other kids get to go on their adventures, huh?” Molly said quietly. “I can uh, relate.”

“Something like that” I sighed.

We walked into the lab as elm was crouched over something. He was clearly working hard, piercing something together that I just couldn’t quite see.

“Mister uh, Elm?” Shanks laughed awkwardly. Elm groaned without even looking up.

“Intern!” He yelled. A girl who couldn’t have been older than seventeen with dark skin and a large mess of curly black hair on her head, as well as a golden geodude with black rocks poking from it floating right behind her ran in.

“Yes sir?” She asked hurriedly. Her demeanor was very anxious.

“Make yourself useful and show the charity cases over to the Workroom B for me. I have my important meeting in Workroom A.” He slurred. I noticed a few empty bottles of ‘Budew lite’ around his workspace. “After that, you can get me another beer. Oh, and remember, you’re prettier when you smile.”

“Of course sir” She said, smiling, and then she led us over to a side room with light blue wallpaper. The second we were out of Elm’s view, she started to mutter all kinds of profanities about him. She left us alone in the room, and we stared at each other for a moment.

“That was certainly something that just happened.” Shanks laughed slightly. He glanced over to the table in the center of the workroom. “Oh look! These must be the pokemon Elm’s going to let us use!”

We all glanced over with a mixture of nervousness, excitement, and dread as we saw three labels in front of the premier balls, which were sitting in an open briefcase.

“Iron… Bundle? Iron Hands? Iron Valiant?” Shank read. “What are these things?

“No clue.” I said.

“Maybe it’s a nickname?” Molly suggested. I sighed.

“Well, I have literally no clue what they mean, but who wants what?” Shank grinned. I appreciated their energy if nothing else.

“I suppose I’ll take bundle.” Molly said. I was surprised to see her choose first, as she was most definitely afraid.

“Well, I’m curious about ‘Iron hands’, so that leaves you with ‘Valiant’” Shank grinned. I sighed and looked over to Chex, who did a ‘thumbs up’ best he could with his free wing. I shrugged and picked up the ball. The second I did, I felt a deep understanding in my chest. Whatever was in this pokeball was afraid. It was angry.

But more than anything, it was alone.

Suddenly a loud shout could be heard from outside the room. “You scatterbrained good for nothing woman!” Elm shrieked. “You’ve embarrassed me in front of a client! Get those losers out of there, now!”

“O- Oh. Should we put these back then?” Molly asked. “Sounds like they aren't ours.”

“Hand them to me, I remember what order they were in!” Shank said hurriedly. “Quick!”

Just as we did, Elm’s intern burst in through the door. “This is coming out of your paycheck!” Elm was screeching.

“Please, come with me.” The intern said. We followed her out of the room. She seemed to not notice the pokeballs on the table had even been tampered with. I sighed in relief, and we swapped Workrooms to Workroom B. along the way we passed an older man wearing a suit. There was some sort of red emblem on his breast pocket, but I couldn’t quite make it out.

“Now, I’m going to seal the deal with my client in there, and you are going to show these shitstains that I care about the community, so the government will get off my ass about the starter pokemon, and if you fuck up one more thing today, I’m going to make it known to every seaport in Johto that you are never to leave this country. Do I make myself clear?” Elm seethed, practically spitting all over his poor intern. She stared defiantly back at him.

“Crystal.” She said. Elm left to go meet with his other client, and the intern sighed. Her geodude gave her a hug, and she turned to us three. “Hello J.A.D.E. Program.”

“What’s good?” Shank grinned. Their feet were on the table as they had made themselves comfortable. “He seems like a joy to work for, by the way.”

The intern smiled softly at the sarcasm. “My name is Shannon Dawson. I used to be a trainer, but my dream in life is to study regional forms. This is my partner, Nugget. She’s a geodude from Alola.”

“Is she shiny?” Shank asked.

“No shit, sherlock. Back off by the way, I know exactly why each of you is here.” She nodded to Nugget, who clicked a button, beginning a powerpoint. “Welcome, you three, to the first batch of the J.A.D.E. program. You three are the kinds of kids that would be targeted by the likes of team rocket to join their ranks.” She flashed to the next slide, showing a photo of Shank’s face. It was a picture of them flipping off the camera next to several women in bikinis, a pile of money, several masterballs, and five bikes scattered around the room “You’re Rambunctious.”

“I spent a whole afternoon photoshopping that.” Shank whispered, winking at me.

Shannon flicked it to the next slide, this time it was Molly’s picture, a school picture from a year ago. Her smile made her look like she was under an active threat “Unsure.”

Finally, it switched to my own face. A picture of me and Chex cuddling under a heap of blankets I’d taken for Instagranbull. “And most of all, Lazy.” She changed to the next slide, with three question marks. “You haven’t left the house to go out on your own pokemon journey. You haven’t applied to Elm’s office to get a starter of your own. Luckily, your parents did that for you.” She flipped to the next slide, it was a picture of champion lance. “Lance has issued this program as a way to prevent crime in Johto, requiring each professor to patron three older kids into their own journey. As such, you three will be given starter pokemon, Running shoes, and the older model of pokedex.”

Shank sighed. “Cool. Great. I’ll take Cyndaquil then.”

“Not so fast.” Shannon smiled weakly. “The government didn’t exactly fund us well enough to breed you fresh starters, so you three are getting some of Elm’s old research pokemon he no longer needs.”

“So we get trash?” Shank asked, annoyed. I sighed and Chex let out a grunt. Molly seemed a little relieved.

“No pokemon is trash.” Shannon snapped. Molly jumped out of fear. “Journeys are not about being the strongest. They are about following a dream. Any pokemon can be strong if you train with it enough.”

“W- What are the starters then?” Molly asked. Shannon looked at her and smiled a bit.

“Sorry for snapping, I’m just having a hard day.” Shannon said. “Your first starter option is from Galar, She was used to help Elm collect data on the eating habits of pokemon, and is known for eating the occasional tin can.” Shannon laughed, tossing out a pokeball containing a cramorant with a few gray feathers. It looked up at us and squawked, before sitting down contently.

“Next, we have a fiery little boy, he helped Professor Elm research evolution methods! He’s known for being a bit stubborn around the office, but he’s very food motivated.” She said, releasing a small Salandit who looked up at us curiously.

“Finally, we have a pokemon that was used to test resistance to heat. Turns out that sunlight and fire are two very different things!” She released a Maractus, who immediately tried to pet the salandit, before he burned her. “She really likes fire types.”

“So to recap,” Shank said. “We have a really old bird who eats trash, a Salandit who can’t evolve, and a Maractus who loves the one thing that kills it?”

“Yup” Shannon smiled. “But each of them is in their own right a fantastic partner, and I’m sure would be a great edition to any team if you gave them a shot.”
I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that Chex had gone over and started playing with the Salandit. I chuckled to myself slightly. “I guess I’m taking the little guy.” I smiled. Shannon looked down and saw the two playing and smiled.

“Very good! You gonna nickname him?” She asked. I looked down at him and he and Chex looked at me. I stared into his purple eyes, and smiled.

“Pepper.” I decided. “His name is Pepper.” Pepper smiled and came up to me, nuzzling his head into my foot. I hadn’t wanted to get a new partner, but the little guy was just so cute, and he and Chex got along. It was better than nothing.

“You really did choose the worst option there bud.” Shank smiled. “I’ll take the Cramorant, whom I will affectionately nickname Crammy.”

The Cramorant jumped up and into Shank’s lap. “Hi Crammy,” He said. I let out another laugh at the absurdness of Shank’s naming skills. They smirked at me. “Don’t judge me.”

“I- uh.” Molly was shaking slightly. The Maractus slid up to her and put out one hand. Molly timidly shook it.

“Would you like to name her?” Shannon asked.

“Pricilla.” Molly said. Pricilla did a little dance of approval.

“Well then, you three are ready.” Shannon smiled.

“Yeah! And you can stop talking to us like you’re more than a year older than us!” Shanks responded with mock enthusiasm.

“Stop harassing her, she probably gets that enough from Elm.” I smirked. She laughed slightly

“No, it’s quite alright.” Shannon laughed. “I get it. I am only seventeen. Just saving money to move to Alola to study regional forms down there permanently.”

“H- Hopefully the professor up there is nicer.” Molly laughed slightly.

“That’s the dream.” Shannon said. She grabbed a box for each of us, containing an old ‘Oak edition’ pokedex and a pair of running shoes. We thanked her, and left the room. Just as we were leaving, I saw Elm’s client leaving with the same briefcase that was holding those premiere balls from earlier. We thanked Shannon and exited the lab as well.

“I wonder what was in those Premiere balls.” I said as we walked down a sidewalk on our way home.

“Won’t have to wonder much longer.” Shank smirked. They reached into their pocket and pulled out three premiere balls…
Chapter 2 New


Definitely not Evil
A team skull hideout somewhere
Chapter 2

I sat in my room, watching Chex and Pepper play fight with each other. I sighed as they tore open a pillow, covering the ground with feathers and fluff. Pepper was chewing on a piece of fluff. Chex gently replaced it with his leek, which Pepper happily gnawed on. I sighed contently, as my gaze shifted to my desk.

Sitting there was that premiere ball. ‘Iron Valiant.’

I had made Shank and Molly promise not to open them until tomorrow. Shank was disappointed, but they accepted begrudgingly. Molly was just happy we were doing this together. I was angry that they were stolen, but something in my heart made me distrust the man that was supposed to take them, but still, the theft was wrong.

“Think about it this way.” A voice said. I nearly fell out of my seat, looking over to my window. Standing on my roof with a goofy grin on their face was Shank. Sitting next to them was Crammy, who ruffled her feathers and sat down. “We saved them from wherever Elm was going to send them.”

“Shank!” I said, dumbfounded.

“Yes, Me Shank. You Erick.” they mocked. “Now, may I come in?”

“I- uh- yeah.” I said, they slid in. Shank was wearing a completely different outfit. This time, they were wearing a graphic T-shirt with tight jeans and a blazer over it. I looked down at my own clothes. The same ratty brown sweatshirt and baggy jeans as I was wearing earlier. I frowned at my own clothes.

“So, prettyboy, what’s up with not being able to open the premiere balls yet?” Shank asked, grining.

“You know why.” I said. “We- no, you, stole them! You stole pokemon!”

“‘Stole’ is such a nasty word.” Shank smiled. “Let’s say, permanently borrowed.”

“Whatever.” I sighed. “It wasn’t our thing to do. I don’t even know how you got them out without someone noticing!”

“Easy, swapped them for empty premiere balls.” Shank smiled, “Not seeing the big deal here.”

“The big deal?” I was angry now. “The big deal is, Shank, that we’ve stolen pokemon from someone who might need them! What happens when they find out? What happens when we can’t train them? You’ve made Molly and I accomplices to a crime!” I yelled.

“Erick! Why are you shouting?” I heard my mom’s voice from downstairs. I then heard footsteps on their way up. Shank slid under my bed as fast as they could, and I pulled out my phone. Mom opened the door.

“Hey mom, I’m on a call, with uh, a friend.” I said.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware you had friends.” my mom joked. I laughed awkwardly.

“Well you know, we’re talking about when we leave for our journeys tomorrow.”

Mom put her hand on my shoulder. “Seriously though Erick, I’m proud of you. Thank you for thinking about your future and becoming something besides a chef. I’m proud of you.”

“I- uh” I was obviously offended about how little everyone thought of my dream. “I mean, uh, me too! I’m going to go on my journey. But also consider that like, Cook is a valid career, because everyone needs to eat, yknow?”

“But you’re going to be a trainer, right?” My mom said, eyebrow raised.

“Y- Yeah, just uh, yknow, playing devil's advocate is all.” I bluffed. My mom sighed.

“As long as you’re not committing crimes, and you’ve left my house” Mom winked, and left my room.

“That was weird.” Shank said.

“Yeah well, I always thought so.” I said “I mean, my mom always tries to do what’s best for me but-”

“No no no” Shank responded “Being a cook. That’s weird. You don’t want to go out on your own adventure?”

“No.” I sighed. “It’s just, not for me.” I glanced down at Pepper and Chex, who were looking up at me.

“Weird.” Shank repeated. “But if it’s your thing, I respect it.”

“I-” I was too tired to fight. “Thank you.”

Shank looked at the floor and frowned slightly for the first time since I met them. They quickly corrected this, and looked back at me.

“Hey, I just came by to uh, check in, but Crammy and I are gonna head home.” Shank said. We looked at Crammy, who was gnawing on my roof absentmindedly. Shank pulled out their Premiere ball, ‘Iron Hands’, and looked at it, and then back to me. “Tomorrow, when we throw out these guys, you can uh, meet my other partner. Goopz.”

“I’d-” I thought about it. I wanted to be mean, but something inside me just couldn’t. “I’d love that.”

“Good, see you tomorrow.” Shank smirked, and they excited my widow with a wink.


It was a bitter autumn morning. We had gathered next to Molly’s house to release the dreaded white capsules. Molly looked nervous, and was still adjusting to having a pokemon partner. Shank was afitting a bow to Crammy’s head, smiling all the way. I was eating a homemade jelly donut. Shank walked up to me and smiled.

“So, you wanted to meet Goopz?” They smirked. I laughed uncomfortably.

“Sure, why not?” I sighed. Shank threw out a pokeball that held a ditto. But not any ditto.

A blue one.

“Goopz here was the only shiny I ever successfully bought.” They smiled. I looked at the ditto, who seemed dizzy, almost tired.

“He’s… Cute.” Molly said. I smiled at her.

“Pokemon growing on you?”

“More like I’m being forced to adapt.” She retorted. Shank giggled.

“So are we ready?” They held up their premiere ball.

“I- I guess.” Molly said. Pricilla hugged her leg.

“Let’s do it.” I said. I was scared, and as I held the ball, I felt the fear of whatever was inside.

“Let’s count down?” Molly suggested. We nodded.




“Wait!” Shank Interrupted. “On three, or after three?”

“What?” Molly asked.

“Like, do we throw the balls on the number three, or is it like One two three then we throw?” they explained. “Like ‘one two three’, or ‘one two three bam’”

“One two three bam” I rolled my eyes. “Molly, start over the countdown.”




We threw out the balls.

Standing in front of us were pokemon I had never seen before. It seemed like a delibird, a Hariyama, and either a gardevoir or a gallade.

“The hell?” Shank said.

I walked up to Iron valiant. It looked back at me with cold eyes.


It made a beeping sound in response.

“I’m Erick.” I said. “I… I think I’m your trainer now. Or something.”

Another beep. I took a step toward the robot. It took a step back, scared.

“I’m not going to hurt-” I took another step forward, and it narrowed its eyes at me and quicker than a flash, it drew a blade and pointed it at me.

“Okay Okay. My bad.” I took a step back. It looked at me, but did not move. “I’m not going to hurt you. It’s okay.”

Pepper walked up to him and pleased one clawed hand on its leg. It looked down, and went neutral. It then bent down, and reached out a finger toward Pepper. Pepper bit it affectionately, and I giggled.

“I think you’re stuck with me, though I have no idea what you even are.” I smiled a little.

The iron valiant beeped again. I called it back into its pokeball as it stared at me, and I got the feeling that it understood.

I looked around at Shank and Molly, who seemed to have had similar conversations with Bundle and Hands.

“What were they?” Shank asked, staring at the ball in their hands.

“No clue.” I said. “But I’m getting the feeling that it was good you took them. They feel lonely. Hurt.”

“Yeah.” Molly said “But at the very least, I’m glad that went well and all-”

She was cut off by the sound of an explosion in the direction of Elm's lab.
Chapter 3 New


Definitely not Evil
A team skull hideout somewhere
Chapter 3:

The explosion was deafening. Without really thinking about it, Shank, Molly, and I just ran. Molly, away from the explosion, because obviously. Shank moved toward the explosion, once again because obviously. I followed Shank, because I had little else to do.

Pepper ran ahead and began to look around the corner just as a large boulder flew from the booming sound of another explosion. Pepper yelped and dodged out of the way quickly. Shank and I peaked around the corner to find Elm’s lab, covered in flame.

Outside were three men in black outfits with red “R”’s on them. Shank grimaced.

“Team rocket.” He mumbled. We could hear them yelling out taunts as the building continued to burn.

“That’s what you get for messing with the boss!” one yelled. He had pink hair and an arcanine in front of him.

“Yeah!” another said. She had longer brown hair and a zubat.

“Imagin’ tryna pull a fast one on Geovanni, and tellin’ him you gots three future paradox mons!” The third smiled. He had a pencil thin mustache and a tyranitar, as well as a whip in his hand.

“Paradox mons?” a voice whispered behind us.

“Helix Christ!” Shank jumped. We looked behind us to see Molly looking scared and confused. Her Iron Bundle and Meractus behind her.

“Probably what we stole?” Shank shrugged. “If I had to guess.”

“Please! I Had them! My lab!” Elm screamed out pathetically. “Shannon’s still in there!”

I looked closer to see that elm was right. Shannon was on the roof of the lab, batting away flames with a green looking grimer.

“Shank, we have to help her.”

“How?” Shank said. “Crammy and Goopz are way too underleveled for a fight like this!”

“Pricilla too.” Molly sighed. I grimiced, knowing the same to be true for Pepper and Chex.

“Then…” I thought long and hard. “We use the paradox mons.”

“No!” Shank said. “Then we’ll have rocket on our asses! I can't have that reputation! I’d be kicked out of the game corner for life!”

“You got us into this mess.” I reminded them “So you’ll help get us out.”

“Fine.” Shank sighed. “But only because I like you.”

“What’s the plan?” Molly asked.

“Well, it’s pretty simple….”


Ten minutes passed. Elm was sobbing. Time for Shannon was running out. The world was crumbling. The rocket grunts laughed and laughed. That’s when a large thwack was heard.

“What the?” one rocket grunt yelled. Her zubat had fainted. “Guys!”

The three turned around to find two galarian farfetch'd going to town on their pokemon.

“Heh. you dumb little idiots.” The one with the whip cried. His friend called his arcanine to flamethrower, which fainted one of the two, who turned back into its ditto form. As Goopz fainted, Chex cried out, Hitting the arcanine with his second critical hit. Suddenly Crammy, Pricilla, and Pepper dove in, continuing the fight.

While the grunts were distracted, the rest of the plan unfolded. From behind the burning lab, Three idiot teens and their stolen robot friends saved a very disheveled Shannon.

“Guys, I just-” She breathed out “What the hell were you thinking?”
“Our bad.” Shank smirked.

“Your.” Molly corrected. “Your bad.”

“Fine.” Shank sighed, readjusting their shirt.

“Whatever it is, we have to save your partners. These team rocket grunts are nothing to scoff at!” Shannon said.

I looked at iron valiant. They in turn nodded at me. They knew what needed to happen.

We ran out to a horrid scene. The rocket grunts had taken out every pokemon except for Pricilla and Chex, who seemed to be holding on for dear life. The tyranitar and arcanine were closing in. the giant green lizard lifted its foot to crush the poor pokemon as…

A large hand stopped it.

“Yes Homer!” Shank yelled out. I smiled to myself about the goofy name for such a powerful creature, but that seemed to be a shank standard, so I let it be.

“Iron Bundle, Use Icicle crash!” Molly yelled out, surprisingly confidently. I guess a few days worth of trauma can do that to a person.

“Valiant.” I commanded. “Stop the arcanine!”

“The paradox mons!” The rocket grunts yelled out as Iron bundle one shotted their tyranitar, and Iron valiant almost knocked out the arcanine.

“Sorry, Rockets.” I smiled slightly. Chex smacked the arcanine for the third critical hit this battle.

“No fair!"

“This is almost as rigged as my family game night!”

“We’ll get you next time!” The three ran away. “We’ll be watching!”

I turned around to my friends, who were healing their pokemon or celebrating, and smiled. I turned to Chex.

“Great job budd-”

But he was glowing.
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Chapter 4 New


Definitely not Evil
A team skull hideout somewhere
Chapter 4:

Some people would be overjoyed at an evolution this early into their (not) pokemon journey. I however was not. It could not have come at a worse time. Shannon, Shank, Molly and I were running as fast as our sore feet could take us forward and into the forest as our legs could take us. Most of our pokemon were down, and those that were not were giant robots that we hadn’t fully had time to communicate with, or in the middle of evolving into a sirfetch’d in my arms. If my life were some kind of subpar fanfiction or something, I’d probably scold the author for not waiting a few chapters about us getting to know the “paradox mons” as that grunt had called them. Or maybe more simply a few sentences. about how Sirfetch’d looked, or how Chex felt about its evolution. But that could wait.

We rounded the corner of a tree. The sweet smell of honey and berries filled my nostrils. Shank perked up.

“Do you hear that?” They smiled softly.

“Hear what?” Molly said. Her timid nature seemed to be returning to her at an alarming rate.

“Nothing.” Shank leaned on a tree. “I think we’re good. For now.”

“Is everyone okay?” Shannon asked. She seemed concerned. We all nodded. “Good. Now what the hell were you three thinking? Stealing Elm’s dealmakers!? Some of the money from that transaction was going to get me out of this region, which if I’m being quite honest is barely a region of its own!”

“Sorry! Sorry!” Shank rolled their eyes. “I didn’t mean to create a fuss! I just, when I picked up homer’s pokeball, he, he seemed-”

“Alone.” I finished for them. They nodded. Shannon sighed long and looked at the three of us solemnly.

“Sit down. Rest. Heal your pokemon. Tonight I’ll tell you what you’re caught up in, but for now, I need to take a walk.” and with that, she left.


Molly, who apparently is very good at pitching tents, was busy playing with a piece of wood. Shank was sitting in the tent, complaining that they ‘only brought thirteen outfits’ and that it ‘wasn’t near enough clothing to be going on a journey.’ Our pokemon were frolicking about, and even the paradox mons seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was playing on my old, beaten up 3DS, wondering how this could have happened to me. Two days ago I was hidden in my room, researching ways to cook a slowpoke tail. Now I was out in the wilderness with stolen pokemon, probably being chased by a gang of some kind.

At least, I suppose, my mom thought I was out on my journey, so she wasn’t worrying.

As if I’d go on a journey.

“So, uh, Erick? Shank?” Molly said softly. “Wh- What were you guys thinking of for, like, things to eat?”

“Oh!” I perked up slightly. “I actually have something for that in my bag!” I began to rummage around inside it. My mom had packed all sorts of stuff in here. A compact bike? A Pokeblock maker? A fishing rod? Who needed all this stuff? As my hand grabbed at my fishing rod to move it out of the way, a booming voice that I was slightly familiar with yelled aloud:

“Now’s not the time for that!”

I jumped back as the voice of Samuel oak tormented me once again. “Did anyone else hear that?”

“Hear what?” Shank asked.

“Nothing.” I said, looking back into my bag as I finally found what I was looking for. A large cooking set I had gotten for my birthday last year. “Found it! All I need now is some berries, and maybe a mushroom, and we can feast!”

“You got it boss!” Shank did a mock salute, before running off with most of the pokemon in order to find some ingredients. I poured some rice into the pot and put it over a campfire Molly had made. Chex hopped up on a rock and helped me make sure the rice didn’t burn or anything. I looked at Molly with a small smile.

“How come you know how to do all this camping stuff so well if you’re so scared of pokemon?” I asked.

“Well.” she smiled back. Pricilla leaned against her. “My father’s name is Winston. We’re from Hoenn, and the only pokemon I ever grew up around was his little zigzagoon. I never got the chance to meet any others. But I hated it there. In his mansion. So I ran away. Like, once a week. I’d learn survival skills, build tents, and prosper. But every time I would get far enough… It would show up.”

“I- what is ‘it’?” I asked.

“It was a Pokemon like none I’d ever seen before. A swirling mass of purple and green light that seemed to form a face with a devilish grin. It smiled at me and made me turn around. Every. Week.”

“That’s horrible.” I said sadly.

“Not even the worst part.” Molly sighed. “The worst part was my father telling me every night that I wasn’t good enough. That I-”

She was cut off by Shank coming back, covered in sticks with a stupid grin on their face, and a caterpie on their head. I looked apologetically at Molly, who shrugged.

“I have found your ingredients, master chef!” They called out. They handed me a bunch of berries and mushrooms, which I prepared best I could. “This, by the way, is Jangly boi.” They pointed at the caterpie on their head.

“To recap.” I teased, flabbergasted. “You have a ditto named Goopz, a Cramorant named Crammy, a Paradox form of Haryama named Homer, and a caterpie named Jangly Boi?”

“I don’t see anything wrong with that” Shank defended themself. “Besides, you two didn’t even name your paradox mons!”

Molly and I glanced over at Iron Valiant and Iron bundle.

“I guess we haven’t.” Molly said.

“We could now?” I said. The robot looking pokemon tilted their heads. “I’m about done with this curry.” I handed the spoon off to chex. “Plate these for four, and spread the leftovers out for all the pokemon please.”

Chex nodded. As a Sirfetch’d, his comically buff limbs lifted the pot with ease. I looked up at Iron Valiant. They looked at me.

“What do you want to be called?” I asked. It beeped at me. I didn’t lose eye contact. After a pause, it held its hand out.

I reached out mine.

The second our fingers touched, I was hit with a burst of flashes. A cave with crystals. The champion of Paldea. A pair of train drivers. Chains. A dark room. A cattle prod. Pain. The same man that I had seen leaving Elm’s office. More Pain. Fear. My own face.

I jumped back, understanding.

“Valentine.” I responded. “Your name is Valentine.”

Pepper and Chex walked over to valentine, and gave it a hug. The robot looked confused, but appreciative. I smiled.

“Welcome to the team, Gale.” I heard Molly say.

“Bravo.” a voice, cold, smooth, and benevolent said. We turned around as fast as we could. Valentine drew their blade. Shank nodded at Goopz, who shifted themself into a doublade, Shank grabbing both of the swords and brandishing them. Chex, Crammy, Pepper, and Pricilla did their best to look intimidating too, as Homer and Gale stood defensively around Molly.

Out of the bushes in front of us, entered the three grunts from earlier, their pokemon seemingly healed, as well as a Persian, The man I saw exit Elm’s lab, and what looked to be a robotic version of volcorona, that was completely chrome. The man was holding a small knife to the throat of a woman who we immediately recognised as Shannon. Shannon was bound and gagged, and looked apologetically at us.

“Hello. My name is Giovanni.” the man smiled.
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