(35)
View attachment 20288
"Very well, Jonathan! Lets see how much you've improved!" I smiled confidently.
Oh,
hello surprise Colosseum music. Sure feels like we’ve been getting a lot of that in more recent chapters.
My opening hand only had one valid card to play, a lone
Ponyta Lv. 8. To make matters worse, it had no energy, so I couldn't attack with it! Running out of mon would mean defeat!
I knew the solution to both my mon AND energy shortage would be to draw more cards. Luckily, I had two
Bill's Teleporter in hand. They
would have allowed me to draw four cards each, if only the coin-flip for each hadn't
failed!
View attachment 20291
Well,
that card game’s starting well™ for the Gentleman right now.
Cards that do nothing just for failing a coin-flip... My old unrestricted deck NEVER had to resort to such inconsistent garbage to perform well!
And whose fault was that for insisting on doing an all-commons deck as a self-imposed challenge, huh? Though I actually wonder what the Gentleman’s old deck
was in that case and if we’ll ever see it at some point in this story.
The rest of my hand was two
Pokemon Traders- useless on their own, one switch- also useless if I only have one mon in play, and a
Nightly Garbage Run (Rocket's Secret Machine)- ALSO useless early on in the duel!
Jonathan played a
Charmander Lv. 10 and went first, attacking me for 10 damage bringing
Ponyta Lv. 8 to 30/40HP. This particular
Charmander Lv. 10 with ONE more energy attached could attack with ember for 30 damage which would knock out my
Ponyta Lv. 8.
I knew I only had
one chance to turn it around. My next card would be the deciding factor. I drew for my turn:
Gust of Wind
Normally,
Gust of Wind could buy me time since it switches the opponents active mon to one of my choosing, but if the opponent only
has one mon... it does NOTHING!
Oh hey, there’s a a meme summing up how things have been going for the Gentleman thus far:
Even if I
do wonder if there’s a bit of a missed opportunity from glossing over Jonathan’s reaction to this, since you’d think there’d be
some commentary from the Gentleman’s opponent about this run of terrible luck.
Now my only hope was that Jonathan had no energy…
Lol. Lmao. I can
see the chapter summary further up the post, just saying.
He immediately played one and attacked, KOing my Ponyta Lv. 8. With no mon in play on my side to replace it with, the duel was lost.
Wow. Two losses in as many chapters. Fortune sure is a fickle mistress there.
View attachment 19751
(36)
"No feathers in this game, huh..." Rick frowned. "What an abysmal performance. If you hadn't won so many games already, I
never would have guessed you were the Champion..." He shook his head.
Gentleman: “Okay,
you’re not helping right now!” >.<
Glancing to my side, Gotan appeared to be spacing out. He looked terribly bored.
Lol. I like how even Gotan’s getting in a turn raining on the Gentleman’s parade here.
View attachment 19752
With a wink, Jonathan chirped. "Oh oops! Looks like you ran into some bad
luck there huh?"
Gentleman: “Look, can we just skip the banter and go straight to the rematch already? I
refuse to call that the end of a chapter there.” >_>;
View attachment 20289
"
Some bad luck?" I raised my eyebrows, barely concealing my swiftly mounting frustraition. "I can hardly imagine it being
worse!"
That sounds like tempting fate if I ever heard it, just saying.
Barely hiding his smug demeanor behind false nonchalance, Jonathan asked. "Oh, can I take that to mean we can have a rematch then?"
View attachment 20290
Barely able to hide my displeasure, I excused myself to stop outside for a related phone call.
I can’t tell if that’s a sign that the Gentleman’s a tad demoralized, or else if he knows better than to dive straight into a rematch right on the heels of a loss.
"Cool with me." Gathering his cards, Jonathan remarked. "I'll be around."
I scooped up my deck and looked about.
Gotan was sprawled on the floor. Both his heads were fast asleep yet
again.
Gentleman:
I wondered how that bird could fall asleep so easily and why he wouldn't sleep like a proper Doduo: with one head at a time instead of both... I concluded the bird must be too dumb to understand the concept…
Wait, wait, wait. They actually
do that in official sleeping animations?
Looking around a little more, I caught Rick chatting with Ken. It was about Volcanoes from the sounds of it.
So wait, what
are the volcanoes in this world like anyways? Though I kinda wonder if it’d have been worth working in a bit more detail here to tie it in to the general state of the world, since this feels like a bit of a non-sequitur.
I stepped outside the club for my phone call.
'Bill Inc.' A mega-corporation with ties into just about every aspect of modern life. As of late, it had acquired gambling institutions on both TCG island and GR Island. Its only real competitor, 'Eyetech Inc.', from Neo Island, played a relatively minor role by comparison.
Wait, are these actual things in some capacity from the TCG games? Since those felt like rather particular name choices here.
For some reason, Bill Inc. is responsible for the results of coin flips for the Bill's Teleporter and Gambler TCG cards. Without successful coin-flips, those cards failed to perform their effects. There were other cards that required coin-flips too, but only those were affected by Bill Inc.
Wait, whaaaaat?
Like I
know that’s not a part of the TCG games, so I assume this must be some sort of absurdist humor here.
Also, does this mean that he’s going to call someone from the company to rig his odds?
As for the coins flipped, they were always performed with special official Pokemon TCG coins. Those coins had a wireless internet link which served to monitor coin-flips to prevent cheating and link to Bill Inc. for Gambler and Bill's Teleporter. Bill Inc. sent wireless signals to the coins to trigger the micro anti-gravity devices in them to influence the result of the flips.
Boy, card games are SRS BSNS in this setting. Though how on earth is
that not calling into question the outcome of every game with cards from Bill Inc. in the deck?
Bill Inc. offered a prepaid service that advertised 100% successful coin-flips on all uses of Bill's Teleporter. Clearly there must have been an issue with that 'service' since it failed the last several times I used it despite my monthly subscription!
Now it was time for perhaps the least fun aspect of being an adult... calling a business with phone prompts and hold times…
Lmao, he really
is rigging his odds for his game. Well, I suppose that’s
one way of dealing with terrible luck, even if I kinda wonder if the entire prior sequence was a bit too “told” and not “shown” enough in terms of showing off the Gentleman’s opinions or else dialogue since it’s all fairly summarized.
(37)
After being on hold for several
hours with Bill’s company, I finally obtained an answer for my complaint. Despite a team of IT working around the clock, there is an on-going malfunction in the machine that was expected to continue with no current time-frame for it to be fixed. I also learned that dueling after 7:00pm was often met with more success for some reason. I imagined it may have been due to fewer users since it was later in the day.
Wait, is this
actually a quirk of how the RNG system in PTCG2 works? If so, that’s some impressive meta detail you’ve worked in there.
When I inquired about a refund, the rep informed me it was handled by another department, had a required mail-in form that cannot be sent electronically, and had a turn-around time of three years!
Gentleman: “
How?! There’s
two islands in our world!”
Apparently once the process started, the subscription was cancelled but couldn't be activated again until the refund was paid out!
View attachment 20290
So… just three years of terrible luck at that rate? Even if I do feel like showing off a bit more of the Gentleman’s attempt to navigate the craptacular customer service department might’ve made for some lulzy moments to portray.
I wanted to take the matter up with a manager, but I knew enough about Bill Inc. to know the futility of that... Just like my faulty coffee-mug warmer, the rep would surely tell me they could only involve a manager by means of a call back. They would sound all promising and sincere. Maybe they even thought it would result in my problem being resolved! But inevitably, no one would call back. Calling them back played out the same, except then I would have to repeat the entire problem all over again! A vicious, never-ending circle of torment. Not one I intended to relive…
How
does this company get any business at all with that level of customer service?
Gentleman: “There’s
literally no competition in their sector.” >_>;
That coffee-mug warmer complaint was about the principle of making that corporation take responsibility. I even thought about showing up to their HQ in person to duel my way through their staff, but they had hundreds of employees. I knew I wouldn't make it to their senior management and CEO, Bill, before they would evacuate to their rooftop corporate blimp.
Boy is
that quite a reaction to someone showing up for a set of card games. They really
are SRS BSNS in this setting. ^^;
Though does that mean that you can get Klingon Promoted to leadership positions by whupping people in card games, too?
View attachment 20290
Were Bill Inc. confined to our Island, it would have fallen under TCG Island law and I could have sued them at the very least. But being a multi-island corporation, they had what's called 'corporate immunity'. While it
was theoretically possible to successfully prosecute them, the vast majority of cases were thrown out without a second glance by most judges.
Oh, just wait until you get into trying to take on Game Freak/Creatures/Hudson Soft, since if they have a presence in your setting, they likely can
literally control your reality.
So here I was, champion of TCG Island, being tossed around again like trash from this overly-bloated scummy corporation. My disdain for large companies was profound indeed…
I kinda feel like the whole “Gentleman goes to file a complaint” sequence is something that should’ve played out at least partly depicted in live time, since while it’s a fun mental image, it’s all a bit rushed and high-level at the moment.
I took out my pocket-watch to check the time: 6:30pm. The sun had started to set, but thanks to my ruling as champion, clubs were open late and closed late too!
Those are still
valid right now? Though I suppose that’s one way to tell that Championship titles (apparently) don’t have an expiration date in this setting.
One of the perks of being Champion meant I got to set the workday hours for the clubs! As one who loves to sleep in, this was one of the best things about becoming champion.
Now the clubs opened at a reasonable 11:00am and closed at 8:00pm.
Huh. Somehow I didn’t peg the Gentleman as not being a morning person since he seemed a very ‘up-and-at-em’ personality in prior chapters. Though duly noted there.
The former champion, Ronald, was my nemesis: a morning person. He would have clubs open at 5:00am! They would also close down at 2:00pm! As a recent academy graduate back then, trying to wake up before 2:00pm was sometimes a challenge…
Snerk. Though I suppose that that makes sense if the Gentleman is a night owl on his part.
Ronald and I were on surprisingly good terms, but we would never see eye to eye on when to wake up.
I’m surprised that there’s not more annoyed seething about how there’s functionally only 3 hours from the Gentleman’s preferred window to make contact with Ronald.
Just as I was about to head back inside, Rick and Gotan approached!
Gentleman:
(38)
Rick had a box of pizza from TCG Pizza, and two large soda drinks from across the street!
View attachment 19753
"I thought you might be hungry," Rick smiled, "so I picked us up some grub!"
Oh, well. Guess they’re being a bit less patience-testing at the moment. Probably. Maybe.
Rick set the drinks on the ground and opened the pizza box, unveiling the deliciously cheesy, thin, and hot pepperoni pizza. The mouth watering aroma reached my nose almost instantly. Perfectly fresh...
Now normally a gentleman of my caliber wouldn't do something so pedestrian as tear into the meal right then and there... but hunger is as hunger does... grandfather would understand.
I can already tell that he does this more regularly than he cares to admit.
Since we had extra, I offered a slice to Gotan.
I noticed his eyes started to water a little.
… When
was the last time Gotan was fed in this story anyways? Since I’m not sure if he was ever mentioned eating before. ^^;
He brought his beaks closer to the slice and sniffed it. He scrunched his face as if lifting a heavy object and looked at the slice intently.
His demeanor then changed as he started dry heaving with his face scrunched in a way I would assume is normally associated with pain. I saw a few tears fall from his eyes as well. He then turned around and bur
ied both his heads in his mass of feathers going completely silent.
View attachment 20491
Gentleman: “Oooookay then, guess he’s not having pizza again anytime soon.” o_o;
I stood there and blinked for a moment wondering what just happened.
The chewing stopped as Rick commented. "How curious! Doduo hate human food, but I have never seen one act like that before." He somehow spoke clearly with his mouth full. "You have a really weird Doduo! Pizza is definitely not on their menu." Rick swallowed his bite of food and took another, chewing in between speaking. "Why would Gotan try for it anyway?" A transparent straw wedged between his lips brought forth the fizzy beverage from its styrofoam prison.
I… feel that Rick’s line should at minimum be two separate paragraphs, even if I’m tripping up a bit over where and how it should be divided up here.
View attachment 20289
"This bird is a mystery." I shook my head. "He even sleeps with
both heads at once instead of one at a time!"
Thankfully, Rick had just finished swallowing his bite of pizza before gawping at me much like I imagined a Magikarp might. "Such a unique specimen! I believe I will collect
data from Gotan as well as his feathers!"
Gentleman: “I mean if
you want him, I’m perfectly happy to let you take him off my-”
Rick: “No, no, I’m happy with this current arrangement, thanks.” ^^;
(39)
Feeling refreshed, I returned to the club for my rematch.
Gotan moved along beside me as Rick followed behind to suck up feathers with his glorified vacuum.
>dat Gotan face
Well,
someone looks like a grumpy gus at the moment.
I glanced to my side to see Gotan with his eyes half-closed and focused ahead. He slapped his talons haphazardly against the floor as he clawed his way forward.
If not for the Doduo-resistant flooring, he might have left scratches.
He appeared to be a fowl in quite a foul mood indeed…
Can’t tell if that’s annoyance, or else that pizza disagreeing with his stomach there.
As we approached Jonathan, his frowns slowly faded and his eyes opened just a little more. Once we reached Jonathan, he shook feathers from his body like a dog drying off, as he tilted his heads up with his eyes shut. The bird then lowered both heads in Jonathan's direction as he opened his eyes.
Well,
someone looks cheerful right now. /s
View attachment 19750
"So..." Jonathan cracked his knuckles while stretching. "I've already won a game. What would you say to a little wager... unless you are too worried you will
lose?" He raised his eyebrow.
Hrm… I kinda wonder if up to this point we haven’t seen enough of the Gentleman’s thought process since we’ve mostly been focusing on
other things happening. Not really expecting much to change about it in light of some past comments, but it
is something I noticed.
View attachment 20290
Worried? ME? I
was using a common deck... but to back down against the likes of that pompous little Growlithe... No. I would certainly
not allow him to go unchallenged!
I crossed my arms. "What did you have in mind?"
View attachment 19752
"If you win either of the next two games against me, I'll throw in enough cash to be worth an extra two booster packs for each game you win. But if I win them
both," Jonathan smiled, "you will sponsor my education at the TCG Elite Academy you attended."
Okay, now the Gentleman
has to win, or else he’s going to be even
more underwater with his finances than he is right now.
The audacity and gall of such a request... His potential winnings FAR outweighed what I stood to gain! And worse? He was cocky enough to bet his own money. This kid knew exactly how to get under my skin...
His request also hinted at a lack of understanding. I didn't improve so much at the TCG because I attended that place. It was because I took all twelve of Doctor Wem's competitive play courses! But Doctor Wem didn't teach there anymore... No one even knew where she was these days.
She’s going to show up later in the story, isn’t she? And just saying, if you
know the bet is blatantly unfair, that sounds like a good reason to just turn and walk away, Gentleman.
View attachment 20288
"You make this too
easy. You should have asked for my house too!" I grinned broadly. "I accept!"
Whelp, time to see just how quickly that Bubsy macro winds up becoming relevant.
The next duel with Jonathan had him set up one of the most versatile fire Pokemon: Charmeleon Lv. 32. With its slash attack for 30 damage, he KOed my Dark Rapidash in two hits and took down a Doduo Lv. 10 with one Flamethrower! After being down to my last mon, Voltorb Lv.8, the only way out was to draw more cards. I activated my Gambler card... but the result was TAILS! Jonathan then KOed my Voltorb Lv.8. Because I had no remaining Pokemon on the bench, I lost AGAIN!
Wow. Literally lost in
one paragraph. Sure hope you enjoy footing Jonathan’s tuition there, Gentleman.
(40)
View attachment 20291
This was EXACTLY why I
loathed using cards with coin-flips! If I didn't
need their effects to draw cards, I'd drop them in a
heartbeat!
Jonathan: “Cope and seethe, old man.”
View attachment 19752
Holding his arms up in mock-distress Johnathan offered false sympathies. "Oh no! More bad luck there! So unfortunate." He lowered his arms. "You know, you really should probably not rely on coin flips too much. I've got to say, that
Professor Oak I used to draw seven cards in our game was preeety nice considering I didn't have to flip a coin for it! Just let me know when you are ready to lose your final duel against me, mkay?" He winked again.
Uh, yeah, given that Bill Inc. is leaving you twisting in the wind for
three years now, it probably
would be wise to take a step back and retool your deck there, Gentleman.
I knew exactly what he was doing. Trying to throw me off my game. Frankly, it was working, but I couldn't let him see it.
Rubbing it in my face how he didn't have to resort to coin-flips to get 'Professor Oak' to do what it's supposed to do! Yet, that pompous windbag would no-doubt join in with everyone else in refusing to duel me if I DIDN'T debilitate myself in that way!
You could always bet him for a match against your proper deck, just saying.
View attachment 20291
If only I could duel him with my old unrestricted deck... He probably wouldn't claim a
single prize against me with THAT. But then he would just refuse to duel me and I would be getting nowhere…
I mean, you could try
tricking him into agreeing to that match, but yeah. Sounds like it’s time to put some new faces in that deck of yours.
But I had more to consider than that now... the funds it would take to sponsor an academy education... I shuddered to think of the price. Normally, education on our island is given to our citizens freely, but this was a special private academy with tuition paid without financial assistance…
Hope you’re not too attached to that house of yours, Gentleman, since I’ve
seen what private schooling goes for nowadays.
The other members of the Fire Club were rolling their eyes, clearly unhappy with being shown up by Jonathan.
Ken had his face covered with his palm.
Jonathan beating me in yet another duel was NOT helping Ken's case.
Jonathan: “Two words: ‘skill issue’.”
Gotan... was that bird snickering?
Though I should really be a lot less surprised that Gotan would be the type to kick the Gentleman while he’s down, since it’s just so on-brand for this story’s sense of humor.
I looked closer and he seemed his usual clueless self. Must have been my imagination... At the same time, I noticed his charred feathers. Must have been the flamethrower he took.
Gentleman: “... How
does that even work, anyways?”
View attachment 19751
Rick was shaking his head jotting down notes. Just what WAS he writing about me anyway?
Rick: “About my immeasurable disappointment in you.” -_-;
View attachment 20288
I turned my attention back to Jonathan and grinned. "Congratulations Jonathan!
Charmeleon Lv. 32 is
indeed a good card and you were fortunate to draw the
Professor Oak that you played that game. I shall return again after a brief intermission."
Um… you
are going to change up your deck before challenging him again, right Gentleman?
View attachment 20290
So...
Gambler did not pay off. I wasn't too surprised considering it WAS fitting for a gambling-themed card to be a risk, but I wondered if there was some way to improve the odds... Perhaps another subscription from Bill Inc. would work? I reasoned it at least wouldn't be connected to that glitchy janky 'teleporter'.
Right, Gentleman?
(41)
Before long, I was back outside on the phone with Bill Inc.
This time, I got a female rep.
"Thank you for calling Bill Incorporated. This is Stephanie, how can I help you?"
The only way this could be any better is if this was a video call such that Bill Inc. could see the Gentleman’s visibly chastened face here.
View attachment 20289
A voice that I recognized! But wasn't she far too young for working in a call center!? Her age threw me for a loop with no obvious signs of womanly development. Maybe she was eleven or perhaps she was one of those rare ageless women who still looked thirteen into her thirties?
Or TCG Island could just have non-existent child labor laws. Since they already have some
really messed-up corporate law based on what we found out from this chapter.
"Stephanie from the TCG Island Psychic Club?!" If my eyes were any wider, I suspected they might pop out!
"...That's right. Remote work with hours whenever I want... What better way to pick up some extra cash, eh?"
So just how insult-tier is the salary for this gig, since there
has to be some sort of catch to this.
With squinted eyes, I inquired further. "What about your work at the club?"
"Oh that? I'm just using my lunch break for it. I had a... feeling it would be good to be working right now..." Her voice dropped to just above a whisper. "I know what you want."
Ah yes, that sounds totally legit there. /s
I had to hand it to her. She knew how to catch one’s attention!
Small punctuation error there.
"Another premonition?" The tilt of my head was purely reflexive.
The volume of her voice resumed its prior level. "You catch on quick. Give me a video call on my personal cell. It's 555-555-5555. I love that number. Makes it so easy to... facilitate things."
Ah yes, the ‘stock phone number’ phone number. Even if you wanted to be a bit more show-off-y, it’d probably have been worth doing a riff off Japanese telephone numbers.
I hung up and called her back on her cell.
View attachment 19754
"There we go. Now we can... conduct business." Her smirk reminded me of that old 'I know something you don't know' childish taunt. "You want your
Gambler card to
work. There is no monthly subscription to make it.
However... I
could be persuaded to alter the coding to put the odds in your favor... for the right
price."
Lol. Lmao. So this is basically the in-setting equivalent of using a Game Genie to rig the game in your favor, isn’t it? I
knew that things were going to wind up going in this direction.
View attachment 20290
So she would accept a bribe for what a subscription
should do? If there
was a subscription, I would already be utilizing it. And there SHOULD be a subscription! The
teleporter had one! If everyone were reasonable and dueled me, there would be no
need for such a severe handicap! I'd just use
Professor Oak and there would BE no
'coin-flip' involved! Furthermore, the Club Masters and even the club
members all received salaries while I received
nothing.
A Champion was supposed to win often enough to make a living selling booster packs. How
true that would have been for me! Yes, I was excited to see how far my all-common deck could take me, but if it failed, I wanted it due to the
concept being faulty, NOT the results of those infernal
coin-flips!
I feel like this paragraph is long enough that it should be two smaller ones. Though yeah, that sounds like a ‘you’ problem there for not just codifying a rule in the PTCG Club terms as champion that requests for a card battle
couldn’t be rejected.
And more pertinently, the subscription for Bill's Teleporter had been failing! Did they reimburse me for such breaches of contract? No. Did they give me the results they promised? NO! I was suffering losses due to poor luck when half of it should have ALREADY, and quite legally, been in my favor! So, if they weren't going to deliver what they promised, I'd get my benefit a different way! Even if it did cost more money...
"Very well," bracing myself I nodded, "let’s talk pricing and how this works."
inb4 she asks for your soul
"I won't ask anything too high, but I want 25% of all your winnings from selling booster packs. I already know that's the highest you will go to still be willing to deal, so you may as well agree." She leaned back in her chair and put her arms behind her head. Her perpetual smirk showed no signs of abating.
… Close enough, really. And it means that she can comfortably throw her match whenever you get to her and still come out on top in the end.
What could I say? She was exactly right.
Stephanie: “What can I say? I’m Psychic.” ^^
In annoyance my eyes rolled back. "No use trying to negotiate with you, as usual." I sighed. "Fine, but what can I expect for results?"
"It won't be perfect." Stephanie looked down and to the left as her smirk widened to a full grin. "Sometimes I'll be unable to rig it. It depends on how closely I'm monitored. Lucky for you, I always know when they are watching... Still good?" The grin from her face vanished as she raised an eyebrow.
Lol. Lmao. inb4 the Gentleman just signed away 25% of his future winnings for a placebo.
It wouldn't always work? Sounded like a reasonable compromise... I wasn't trying to give myself an unfair advantage. I just wanted the luck of my deck to be what it should have been. The teleporter failed too often? Gambler would succeed more to balance it... Seemed fair.
No, this is by definition an unfair advantage, since the entire
point of your deck is that it being flaky and inconsistent is the balance against when it works and tears through teams effortlessly.
I nodded my approval. Within seconds my phone dinged with a cash app request from her. I accepted. Proceeds would transfer automatically.
"Splendid. See you around..." She casually waved.
*click*
Gentleman: “What on earth did I just
agree to?” .-.
View attachment 20291
With my little 'problem' fixed, I'd stop that blasted
Jonathan from winning again. My common card tour would NOT be ruined so easily! I didn't need
perfect coin-flips to beat that arrogant little card-flaunter! I just required the system to stop unfairly
sabotaging me!
It was time I reminded the
dreaded Jonathan of the difference in our skills!
Good luck getting a refund if you
still manage to lose that re-rematch, my guy.
