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Pokémon NEO-A-LIFE

Author's Note/Chapter 1: White Paper

Goolix

Junior Trainer
Cassandra is a neurotic failed academic blogging about Porygon. Emily is a Rustboro mining heiress with a chip on her shoulder. When the two women start a company to mass-produce custom Porygon, they find out how easily ambition turns into recklessness - and what it costs to stay one step ahead of the system.

Major Content Warnings: None apply so far. Content warnings that apply for individual chapters will appear spoilered at the top of the chapter.

Author's Note: I came up with the concept of NEO-A-LIFE for the Weird and Wonderful contest. The concept has changed a lot since then! If you have read that one-shot, treat it like a non-canonical work. I will also include author’s notes at the end of chapters for clarifications and random unnecessary details. I have seven chapters so far and will be posting them weekly.

After writing the original one-shot, I became a little obsessed with the idea of what it would mean to run a start-up in the Pokemon world! What does it mean to compete against established players like Silph Co? What relationship do adults who don’t participate in training culture have with Pokemon? And Porygon, being one of my favorite Pokemon, is perfect for this. If Porygon is a product Silph Co made, why do they appear to have given up on it? What would it take for Porygon to go from being a Pokemon meant for niche scientific research to being a legitimate disruptor?

Chapter 1: White Paper
-Cassandra-

Who was I? I was a faceless employee in the Celadon City branch of some company you’d never heard of that sold widgets to another company you’d never heard of. I’d have stated my job title, but to state your employment like that involves some degree of identification, and I did not identify myself with them. I am not an “accounts receivable representative.” I am a researcher on artificial Pokemon.

This is what I repeated to myself as I came home from another uninspiring day at work. The view of my studio apartment was hardly a balm to the soul. The corner of my workdesk was occupied by a used cup of ramen, broth droplets solidified into a cloudy paste. The white refrigerator in the corner froze everything I stored on the top shelf. My tower of folders had toppled and the papers fanned out by the leg of the desk.

Instead of dealing with any of this, I tiptoed over the pool of notes into my office chair and began copying my annotations from Stolringer’s “Problematic Methodologies in Porygon Protein Synthesis” into my text editor. I’d gotten this copy from Saffron University’s library, the school where I’d been a researcher working on Castform generation. It was only a few years ago that I was in a lab working with the lead of the Castform project before our project was declared obsolete and budget cuts eliminated our department. I couldn’t justify paying Saffron rents anymore, but I had no plans to return to Ecruteak, city of conservatism and stagnation. Celadon rents were more affordable, and I could at least bike to Saffron to borrow books from their library.

I finished copying my annotations and posted them to my blog. Just because I couldn’t research in a university didn’t mean I couldn’t research at all, right? It was amazing how many people cared about it. “Porygon Revival” was the leading blog on documenting the original Porygon project. But perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised me, for Porygon had a unique allure. Other artificial Pokemon, once generated, were no different from any other Pokemon. Porygon alone could be connected to a source, be de-synthesized and re-synthesized elsewhere, and even execute commands in virtual space. It was this trait - decompositionality, we called it - that eluded us enthusiasts.

My lips cracked from thirst. I pulled out a near frozen bottle of soda pop from the fridge, and cracked it open. It was in some horrid state between slushie and liquid, but I drank it anyway. It didn’t taste good, but it was a welcome sensory novelty. Thirst quenched, I checked the comments on the blog. The regulars were here, posting links to journals I didn’t know, correcting my errors, and, most importantly, there was Antoine, the man who had one-sidedly declared himself my rival. I propped my chin on my hand to see what he’d written today.

“When are you going to stop this nonsense? Artificial Pokemon generation is extremely dangerous. We barely know anything about how Pokemon physiology works and you continue to have the gall to try your hand. You’ve learned nothing from the failures of the Aether foundation. Porygon’s extensibility is not a toy.”

He’d left one hundred such comments on my blog. This one was concise - he would often leave page-long screeds on decision theory and how artificial Pokemon synthesis was objectively foolish. I felt flattered, really, that he thought I had the know-how to create a Pokemon that could destroy the world. For just a moment, I felt I wasn’t a failure from some backwater town trying to edge my way into a world that clearly didn’t want me.

Having finished the comments, I turned to my emails. I rarely got any, but today there was one bolded title.

Sender: NEO A-LIFE
Topic: Porygon White Paper
Body:
Dear Cassandra,
Your research on the Porygon project is truly astonishing. You’ve made incredible progress on reconstructing the details.
My name is Emily LeVant, and I am the founder of NEO-A-LIFE. We’re a startup that focuses on Porygon generation. I’m looking for a researcher who knows their Porygon stuff, and you seem like you fit the bill. We have access to documents you may find intriguing. I have attached, for your eyes only, a snippet of the original Porygon white paper. This is the intellectual property of NEO-A-LIFE. Do not upload this anywhere.
I’d like to meet with you to discuss the possibility of you joining our team. I will be in Celadon City for the weekend.
Yours,
Emily


I ran the attachment through the antivirus. No hits. Opening. “Towards the first virtual Pokemon: Porygon. Authors: Anisha Abad, James McClinton, Marcello Garcia. We present here a novel method for creating the world’s first decompositional artificial Pokemon, named Porygon. Using this method, Porygon is able to both keep a physical form and move in the digital world…”

My hands felt numb. There was no way this could be it. And yet, it seemed to be. The authors were legitimate; I’d read about most of them beforehand. I’d never seen this abstract, and what they described made sense, but without the methods, it wasn’t entirely clear. It was inconceivable. Who was Emily, and was she seriously pitching me to join her company?

I looked them up on the internet. Emily herself was apparently related to the head of a prestigious mining company in Hoenn. Her headshot on the website for NEO-A-LIFE showed a woman of small stature with glossy black hair, pink cheeks, and a big smile. She seemed… adorable? Anyone can start a company, but she seemed a little sweet-looking to be a startup founder.

There wasn’t as much on NEO-A-LIFE. Just about everything on the company seemed to be made by Emily herself. A slick webpage with stock images of skyscrapers taking up half the page, bold font saying “Pokemon. Reimagined,” “The world is dynamic. Your Pokemon should be, too,” and more vague copy that didn’t really say anything but sure sounded enticing. “Using decompositional biology and identity-preserving eigenstructures, NEO-A-LIFE delivers scalable solutions at an affordable price.”

It was weird. It was obviously weird. Okay, maybe it was a real startup, but who just emails people out of the blue asking them to join their company? Or is this normal? I’d never been part of the corporate world. I forsook money to make a difference (although I ended up not doing that, either). Maybe I was the one who didn’t get it.

My heart raced and I had to get up and pace from one corner of this room to the other. I wove around the backpack and folders scattered carelessly across the floor, occasionally brushing my ankle against them. It couldn’t be real. It was too perfect. But it seemed like the real Porygon white paper. Where did she get that? How could I read the rest of it?

A familiar pressure pulsed in my temples. I grabbed the Pokeball I always kept in the bowl and headed out for fresh air. I let Magnezone out of his ball. I saw his silhouette in white before his features became clearer, and he rotated his magnets in happiness at seeing me.

“Nice to see you too,” I said. “Wanna go for a walk with me? I need to clear my head.”

Magnezone made his affirmative sound, and I raced him to the ground floor down the stairs. He won, of course, because he can just float down, but it’s a habit we established, and it got the blood pumping. I emerged from the stairwell to see him at the exit, screws tightening and loosening in anticipation.

“Oh, you won again!” I said in mock horror. “How will I ever catch up to you?” I scratched my ear. “Let’s take a walk to the department store.”

It was cloudy out, but I didn't mind. Harsh sunlight would reflect off Magnezone and I didn’t think to bring my sunglasses.

“Okay, so Magnezone, I need you to hear me out. I got this email from some lady who’s starting a company. Normally I wouldn’t pay attention to it, but she has the original Porygon white paper. And you know how much I want to make a Porygon.”

Magnezone buzzed.

“This company, it looks like it’s real. But I don’t know about this. Like, do you really think that I should meet up with her? What if she’s crazy?”

Magnezone made another sound. I wished he had a human understanding of the world. I felt his judgment would be fantastic. But his world was not my world. He’d been my companion since he was just a little Magnemite, and I would always talk to him when I needed a sounding board. He didn’t fully understand; I once caught him falling asleep when I explained the complexities of academic funding politics. But whether he got it or not, he was still my buddy, and it felt good to share these things with him.

My lips cracked again - apparently soda pop didn’t really quench your thirst. We finally arrived at the Celadon department store, and I headed to the water fountain by the side of the building. “So,” I asked between gulps, “should I do it?”

Magnezone stared at me with his unblinking red eye. I wiped the water on my chin off with the back of my hand. It was not fair to expect Magnezone to make such a decision for me. His world was electromagnetism, battle, floating, not major career decisions in your late twenties. Still, I wished he could talk to me like those Rotom talk to humans in Alola.

I stopped, stepped away from the water fountain, and closed my eyes. Pros of meeting with Emily - I’d get to learn more about this mysterious Porygon white paper. Con - she could be a serial killer (epistemic status: unlikely) or a weirdo (possible?). Pros of not meeting with Emily - I’d get to stay home. Cons - I would never know what’s in that paper.

My teeth chewed the inside of my mouth. “I can’t spend the rest of my life not knowing what the deal with this paper is. I’m going to set up a meeting with her.”

He seemed pleased with this, though for what reason I could not say. I loved his joy anyway.

I prompted him to enter his Pokeball before entering the department store - he was a little too big to have floating around in cramped spaces. I bought some of his favorite Poke Puffs and felt his Pokeball rattle as I passed through the automatic doors. I tapped the ball twice to let him know it’s safe to come out. He wriggled in anticipation and I tossed him his cupcakes. He ate them in his inscrutable way as we returned home in the setting sun’s light. All I could think of was what I was going to write:

“Dear Emily, I’m interested. How about this Saturday at 3:00 PM at the cafe by the department store?”


The first three chapters were originally written in first person present tense. I stopped after a while because it felt so unnatural and I wasn't really getting anything from it. If you spot a tense inconsistency, let me know!
 
Last edited:

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Premium
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
  9. porygon
  10. giratina-origin
  11. houndoom
AW HECK YEAH so happy to see this posted! I love it. Even though you mentioned the contest oneshot is non-canon I am glad to see the same characters and energy shining through.

Cassandra its such a fun POV character to read and see the world through her eyes. I really get a sense for how she sees the world and views it. Many wonderful little tics and quirks and lots of personality. Her overthinking and wondering why she was approached, the sort of obsession/passion she has.

Also I love her relationship with Magnezone, they're so precious together. A very apt companion for her, well-suited. Magnezone eating a pokepuff is such a cute mental image. Inscrutable way indeed. I'm already really interested to see where this goes, and what trouble they'll get themselves into trying to pursue the mysteries of Porygon. Also kudos for brevity lol, a skill I've yet to master
 

Goolix

Junior Trainer
Ah, thank you so much for the response! (And apologies for taking so long, I kind of just wasn't sure what to say ^^') Yes, Cassandra's vibe is definitely pretty similar. Emily's chapter will be posted soon and her I've changed a little. Very excited to share her point of view!

Also kudos for brevity lol, a skill I've yet to master

lol, honestly I think I could stand to elaborate a little more, but I sort of naturally end up writing about this length of chapter!
 

IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. chikorita-saltriv
  2. bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
  8. wartortle
  9. zorua
Decided to read this on a whim after your comment on my mainline Pokemon retrospectives, and I really enjoyed it!

I love the little tidbits here, like how Cassandra has an online rival in the field of niche Pokemon debates, and the webpage info for NEO-A-LIFE. They really help feel the world feel lived-in!

I'm excited for more! Thank you for writing this!
 
Chapter 2: Interview

Goolix

Junior Trainer
Decided to read this on a whim after your comment on my mainline Pokemon retrospectives, and I really enjoyed it!

I love the little tidbits here, like how Cassandra has an online rival in the field of niche Pokemon debates, and the webpage info for NEO-A-LIFE. They really help feel the world feel lived-in!

I'm excited for more! Thank you for writing this!
Ahh, thank you!!! Yes, I had a lot of fun imagining the world of niche Pokemon debates :mewlulz: I honestly feel I could write a whole bunch of just academic debates on Pokemon and the personalities behind them.

I had to review this next chapter a few times because the pacing felt off. Let's finally see Emily's side of the story!

Chapter 2: Interview
-Emily-

It was 3:15PM, and my interviewee was late. I figured she’d be punctual since she said she lived close, and yet I was alone at this fashionable cafe with a room temperature latte. I checked my phone and caught a message from her:

Cassandra: Sorry, got caught up in something, I am on my way!

Nothing to do but wait. I slipped the phone back into my purse and decided to start on the coffee. I tugged back the cuffs on my blazer - I really did need to get it tailored - and took a sip. Lukewarm, yet delicious. The roast was neither too acidic nor too bitter, and the ratio of coffee to milk was divine. Saffron may have been the center of technological investment, but Celadon remained the best city for food.

What I was doing - waiting for someone I'd cold-emailed to show up - was admittedly a little nuts. The fact that she agreed to do this was full on coconuts. I had been firing off emails to potential collaborators, but most of them got no response or polite dismissals. One person informed me that I was “stuck in the past” for wanting to continue the “failed paradigm” of Porygon research. Cassandra was intriguing - years and years of obsessive posting on Porygon, trying to piece together the original paradigm. I’d spent hours reading her blog, until I got all the way back to the first post she made. It felt like a dream come true - someone invested in Porygon, with lab experience, and living in Celadon, to boot.

The dream was still a quarter of an hour late. I checked my phone again to see if there was any response. I looked up from the ‘no new notifications’ screen to take a sip of my coffee when I saw a woman with a frizz halo and bagged out chinos hovering over my table.

“Hey, are you Emily?”

I felt awkward trying to finish drinking my coffee and talking at the same time. Her gaze hung on me as I finished swallowing. “Yes, Emily LeVant. You must be Cassandra.”

“Yeah, I’m Cassandra,” she said, and she stuck her hand out, still standing. I shook her hand and was surprised at how firm her grip was. Was this a power play, or did she not realize this was over the top? “I’m sorry I’m late.” She took a chair across from me. “I don’t live far from here, so I got a little too confident about how quickly I could get here.”

There was no photo of her on her site, yet she didn’t look how I expected. Her chestnut brown hair was gathered in a ponytail, sneaking out and curling behind her ears. Most noticeable about her were her eyes, which seemed to focus on me as if I were the most interesting person in the world. I felt like a bug under a microscope.

“I’m glad you could make it,” I said. “I’m really excited to talk to you about this. I’ve read your blog top to bottom.”

“Seriously? I’m happy to hear that!” The comment had rosied her cheeks. “I’ve been interested in Porygon for basically my entire life. I don’t even really understand how anyone can not be obsessed with Porygon. We synthesized a Pokemon. In the 90s. This should have been a revolution!”

“Trust me, I’ve heard it all. When the Porygon2 project didn’t even make it into space, it killed investor interest in custom synthetic Pokemon.”

Cassandra giggled awkwardly. “There’s this guy on my blog who’s constantly telling me that my research is going to lead to some Type:Null-like disaster. Dude, it’s Porygon. It’s such a mild Pokemon!” She looked at my empty mug of coffee. “Oh yeah, do you mind if I order something?”

“Not at all,” I said, and she promptly placed an order, coming back with a number. I couldn’t tell what her gimmick was. Chatty, unprofessionally dressed, and unpunctual. Perhaps some kind of wunderkind cosplay?

“So,” she said, “I would love to hear more about this Porygon white paper you messaged me about.”

I tapped the handle of my mug. “Before we get into that, I want to talk to you about this venture I want to build. I think it will help you understand.”

She nodded, and I took a deep breath. Pitch time. “So, I’m sure you know what makes Porygon special among artificial Pokemon. The fact that we can upload its consciousness, have it work in the digital world, and then come back to a physical form…”

“Decompositionality, yes,” she said, a little impatiently.

“Exactly,” I said. “Porygon is much more flexible than any other artificial Pokemon. We only began to explore this functionality with Conversion. But I think we can go further. We can make Porygon with custom typings, stats, moves. Porygon can be something that we build for your use case in particular. Instead of having to go through the hassle of dealing with Pokemon breeders, why not just get what you need, right away?”

Cassandra watched me as I spoke, her eyes never leaving mine. I found it hard to tell if I was reaching her.

“So, your goal is to make custom Porygon? And sell them?”

“Yes. We at NEO-A-LIFE want to create Porygon for specialized applications. Rescue teams, security guards, industrial settings, you name it. We could have a ghost/dark Porygon for a security team and built in data-monitoring to improve security routines. We could have Porygon with particular move combinations that no organic Pokemon could have. We’re targeting institutions that need to work with Pokemon at massive scales.”

She nodded slowly, her gaze loosely hanging over her coffee cup. “I never really considered joining a company, but … it’s interesting… I mean, I think that the issue with the Porygon project and space was just that they didn’t realize what they had on their hands. There was this big ambition about sending Porygon to space and when it didn’t work out, instead of pivoting, it’s like everyone lost their imagination and stopped using it entirely. ‘Oh, artificial Pokemon aren’t really useful.’ It’s nonsense, but the paradigm just lost steam. I think… making it more about customization could be a good idea.” Her eyes snapped back. “But without knowing how to make Porygon, I’m not sure we can move forward with this.”

Still focused on the white paper. That obsessive focus wasn’t just for the blog. “Of course, without access to the source code, we can’t make any Porygon and our project’s dead in the water. That’s why getting this made NEO-A-LIFE possible.” I opened the binder I had placed on the table and turned it to Cassandra. She read intently, and I could tell there was no point in trying to talk to her as she scanned the paper. I waited, though not for long; she read quickly. She finished the first two pages and turned back to me.

“I’ve never seen anything like this before. How did you get this?”

“I did a lot of research on people who worked on the original Porygon project. One of them was willing to send me a copy of this. He was very passionate about continuing research on Porygon, but he told me his days of science were over. He wanted us to carry the torch.”

Cassandra curled her lips inward. “We don’t have the source code, do we?”

I smiled. “Actually, that was another one of his parting gifts. We have the source code. What we need is someone who knows how to interpret it, and how to work a lab. We need someone who can create new Porygon. Someone like you.”

She was trying to stay composed, but she was blinking a lot.

“That’s… wow. That’s amazing. You have the source code… but why do you need me? I’m not the only person who’s worked in artificial Pokemon synthesis,” she said. She wasn’t hooked yet, but she was looking for a reason to be.

“You’re right. If you want someone to generate Castform, you can easily go to the Hoenn weather institute. But I’m not looking for Castform. I’m not looking for someone who breeds Porygon. I’m looking for a person who is passionate about synthesizing Porygon, who knows everything about it, and has the skills to bring it to life. The number of people meeting my requirements is quite small. You are part of that number.”

“What exactly do you want me to do? As part of this NEO-A-LIFE.”

“I want you to be my technical lead. You will be in charge of a team of scientists tasked with making the Porygon we need. You will receive equity in the company.”

“Where is the money? I mean, how are we going to get the money?”

I liked that ‘we’. “I don’t know if you know my father. Michael LeVant. He runs a successful resource extraction company in Hoenn. My two older brothers work with him. I wanted to go my own way. He’s funding our research and development. Once we get a viable product, it’s off to the races.”

I waited with bated breath. She seemed to be weighing the options. “I… this sounds really interesting. But I don’t know if I’m ready to join a startup. It wasn’t in my plans…”

“What else have you got going on?”

Silence. “Well, I’m working as an… accounts receivable representative at…” She trailed off.

“Think about it. I’ve already got lab space rented out in Saffron.”

“Saffron?” Her eyes bugged. “No way, I can’t afford that. You don’t seriously expect me to commute there every day? I mean, I bike there every now and then to check out the library, but it’d kill my legs.”

“You can room with me,” I blurted. “Just temporarily. You can sleep in a room in the lab. Startup life isn’t always glamorous, but we have options. Look,” I reached across the table, “Cassandra, this is going to be big. There are massive inefficiencies in the current Pokemon breeding paradigm. Everyone’s so focused on battling that nobody thinks about the institutional applications. I believe that Porygon can change the world. Do you?”

Our eyes locked, and the world seemed to go still for a second before she broke gaze. “I will think about it.”

I pulled back. “Of course. It’s a big decision. I hope you’ll think it over carefully.” I pulled out a business card - one of a few I had - and handed it over for her. She read it.

“Well, thanks for waiting for me,” she said. Her eyes flicked to the binder. “I can’t get a copy of that, can I…?”

“It’s property of NEO-A-LIFE.”

She puffed out her nose a little. “Mmm, I see. Well, thank you anyway. I’ll sleep on it.” She waved awkwardly before walking away.

I waited for her to leave before I went to the counter and ordered a big mug of coffee and banana nut bread. I sat back down and took out my list of leads. If Cassandra didn’t join, I didn’t have a lot of options. I tapped my fingers on the walnut furniture, surprisingly tasteful for a cafe in a department store. She’ll join - she has to. This project couldn’t end before it even begins.

The coffee and bread arrived, both steaming hot. The bread was so moist I could easily carve a chunk off with my spoon. It tasted as sweet as it smelled, though the crust was a touch burnt. At least Cassandra picked a decent place. My overgrown gel manicure caught my eye as I tapped the mug; it could use a touch-up too. Thankfully Cassandra didn’t seem like the type to get caught up on appearances. Then again, that would be a problem if I really brought her on board. She would definitely need to be polished before I showed her to any investors…

With the mug emptied of its contents, I stopped to consider my next move. The coffee shop was full of customers, several of whom had their Pokemon out, and I decided to join them. I released Clefable, who materialized on the chair next to me.

“Clefable!” she chimed, looking at the leftovers of my banana nut bread.

“You can have it if you like, glutton.” She took it in her little paws, sat down, and carefully began eating. She looked comically disproportionate in the human-sized chair with her stumpy legs.

“I’m staying in Celadon for one more day,” I explained. “It would be more convenient that way if Cassandra decides to hop on board.” I checked my phone on a hunch, but nothing from her. “If nothing else, we can get some shopping done. I need to freshen up my shoe collection a little. And you’d look adorable with a satin ribbon, wouldn’t you?”

Her eyes lit up, as I knew they would - Clefable’s vanity outmatched mine. “Finish up your snack and we’ll have a little budget-friendly shopping free. If things work out, we’re going to have to keep tightening our belts.”

Clefable narrowed her eyes at me, but there was no arguing the point. She wasn’t paying rent - she didn’t even understand the concept. I’d probably pout too if all my housing were taken care of. Well, this was the first time I’d had to actually pay rent; daddy always took care of that sort of thing. I saw why the general population was so stressed all the time.

She swallowed the last of the dessert and stood up, excited to browse the stands. We headed to a trendy store for Pokemon accessories. The selection of ribbons was much nicer than anything else they had at Saffron - colors, materials, trims. I spotted a gorgeous magenta ribbon in a smooth finish - genuine silk. It would make a striking contrast to Clefable’s bubblegum pink fur. But real silk was expensive and a hassle to clean. Clefable looked cute and played mean; she’d tear through this in nothing. I put the spool back on its hook.

Clefable found an emerald green ribbon in a nylon - a tasteful and durable choice. “You want this one?” I asked. She nods, placing it behind her ear to show where she wants to wear it. I purchased it and checked my watch. It was late. My shoe shopping spree would have to wait for another day.

I returned to the cheap hotel room I’ve paid for. Minimum amenities. I kicked my shoes off on the bed, and I checked my phone again. Nothing. I took a shower, changed into my pajamas. Clefable’s ball was on the headstand, next to the alarm clock and next to my head. I wished we could have had the chance to battle in Celadon. She was a scrappy fighter. She’d make a hell of a negotiator. Maybe that’s what she was in her previous life.

I tucked myself into bed, and reached to turn the phone vibration off when it buzzed.

I unlocked it. One message.

Cassandra: It’s Cass. I’m in.
There's a recurring theme in the Pokedex entries for Porygon2 that it was somehow planned to go into space. Obviously one should take Pokedex entries with a grain of salt, but it would actually make sense that a Pokemon like Porygon(2) would be meant for space. It has no need to breathe or eat, for one. Some of the entries suggest that Porygon2 was prepared to go into space, but most of them say it say failed.

Emily awkwardly waiting in a cute Celadon cafe to interview some rando on the internet. Incredible life decisions on display here.

Clefable!!! I love her. Her passions are vanity and violence. Also being Emily's buddy.
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Premium
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
  9. porygon
  10. giratina-origin
  11. houndoom
I support them whole heartedly even though they both seem slightly unhinged about this project. I love their pokemon partneers too, violent Clefable is the best, I dont know if I ever get tired of feisty fairy types hah.

I love how these characters different internal monologues shine through, it makes them very entertaining and memorable, especially comparing and constrasting how they see each other vs themselves.
 

Tango

Mascot of the Doduo Alliance
Location
beyond the Nexus
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. doduo
Howdy!

I'm here for a preemptive review of your Chapter 1 in what I believe will be an enjoyable review exchange!

Word count (of my words below, not yours): 1,347

Enjoy!

Summary: Cassandra is a neurotic failed academic blogging about Porygon. Emily is a Rustboro mining heiress with a chip on her shoulder. When the two women start a company to mass-produce custom Porygon, they find out how easily ambition turns into recklessness - and what it costs to stay one step ahead of the system.
Huh. So apparently things are going to bite off more than they can chew. I'm curious how that ends up going.

Major Content Warnings: None apply so far. Content warnings that apply for individual chapters will appear spoilered at the top of the chapter.
Surprising, but accepted.

Author's Note: I came up with the concept of NEO-A-LIFE for the Weird and Wonderful contest. The concept has changed a lot since then! If you have read that one-shot, treat it like a non-canonical work. I will also include author’s notes at the end of chapters for clarifications and random unnecessary details. I have seven chapters so far and will be posting them weekly.
I can read the one-shot too later if you want. Or heck, if you want me to go back and read it first for context before proceeding to chapter 2, that's fine too.

I enjoy author's notes. Curious to see what they would contain.

After writing the original one-shot, I became a little obsessed with the idea of what it would mean to run a start-up in the Pokemon world!
Obsessed you say? Excellent. I think any great fics need obsession.

What does it mean to compete against established players like Silph Co?
Good question. Curious to see what your answer is.

What relationship do adults who don’t participate in training culture have with Pokemon?
I imagine they would be something like animals. Like how pigeons used to be used to deliver messages and how camels and horses would be used to pull and transport things. Some probably collect them as pets. I guess you kind of see examples of these types of things in the game. Like Machokes helping with moving to a new house.

And Porygon, being one of my favorite Pokemon, is perfect for this.
It was once suggested that the Pokemon star of my fic be Porygon. I didn't end up doing that, but I think it would have turned out very interesting! I think Porygon is a solid choice to focus on. Very interesting and unique mon!

If Porygon is a product Silph Co made, why do they appear to have given up on it?
Very good question. One would think there would be no limit to the number of evolutions a Porygon could have. In theory, it should be able to outclass any Pokemon in existence with enough evolution.

What would it take for Porygon to go from being a Pokemon meant for niche scientific research to being a legitimate disruptor?
Probably not nearly as much as one might assume.

Chapter 1: White Paper
White paper... essentially, starting from nothing. Well it IS supposed to be about a startup, so this makes sense.

-Cassandra-
The way Cassandra's name is listed here implies that POV can potentially shift from one chapter to the next. Putting it up there at the top is fantasic! Being confused about who the POV is makes me annoyed and you seem to have one of the best ways to make it clear.

Who was I? I was a faceless employee in the Celadon City branch of some company you’d never heard of that sold widgets to another company you’d never heard of. I’d have stated my job title, but to state your employment like that involves some degree of identification, and I did not identify myself with them. I am not an “accounts receivable representative.” I am a researcher on artificial Pokemon.
Huh? So her title is 'account receivable representative', but that role has her researching artificial Pokemon? Or is researcher what she wants to be but isn't currently working in a job for? I assume it clarifies further down, but I like to speculate as I go.

This is what I repeated to myself as I came home from another uninspiring day at work.
And this is what we all train so hard during all of our childhoods to get. :sadwott:(I imagine most people don't wake up overjoyed to go into work, but quitting is always way worse than going...)

The view of my studio apartment was hardly a balm to the soul.
A place to live gives one part of what they need, but needs only allow for existence, not true life. :okgon:

The corner of my workdesk was occupied by a used cup of ramen, broth droplets solidified into a cloudy paste.
Hard to keep things spotless when one feels spent all the time. 😩

The white refrigerator in the corner froze everything I stored on the top shelf.
Even in the Pokemon world, you can't avoid crappy appliances. :copyka:

My tower of folders had toppled and the papers fanned out by the leg of the desk.

Instead of dealing with any of this, I tiptoed over the pool of notes into my office chair and began copying my annotations from Stolringer’s “Problematic Methodologies in Porygon Protein Synthesis” into my text editor. I’d gotten this copy from Saffron University’s library, the school where I’d been a researcher working on Castform generation.
Ah, so she works on this in her spare time! Castform is probably one of the best comparisons to Porygon. Great choice here to implement!

It was only a few years ago that I was in a lab working with the lead of the Castform project before our project it was declared obsolete and budget cuts eliminated our department.
Small fix to reduce words if you want to clean it up a little.

Yeah, I hear companies are ruthless like that. :copyka:

I couldn’t justify paying Saffron rents anymore, but I had no plans to return to Ecruteak, city of conservatism and stagnation. Celadon rents were more affordable, and I could at least bike to Saffron to borrow books from their library.
Job lost and forced move. That sounds like OODLES of fun! :veelove:

Nice way of setting the stage for the motivation of where things are going!

I finished copying my annotations and posted them to my blog. Just because I couldn’t research in a university didn’t mean I couldn’t research at all, right? It was amazing how many people cared about it. “Porygon Revival” was the leading blog on documenting the original Porygon project. But perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised me, for Porygon had a unique allure. Other artificial Pokemon, once generated, were no different from any other Pokemon. Porygon alone could be connected to a source, be de-synthesized and re-synthesized elsewhere, and even execute commands in virtual space. It was this trait - decompositionality, we called it - that eluded us enthusiasts.
Yeah! That DOES make Porygon pretty freaking cool! I like how you tie lingo into to it too. Very cool!

My lips cracked from thirst. I pulled out a near frozen bottle of soda pop from the fridge, and cracked it open. It was in some horrid state between slushie and liquid, but I drank it anyway. It didn’t taste good, but it was a welcome sensory novelty.
This bit made me smile. So relatable!

Thirst quenched, I checked the comments on the blog. The regulars were here, posting links to journals I didn’t know, correcting my errors, and, most importantly, there was Antoine, the man who had one-sidedly declared himself my rival. I propped my chin on my hand to see what he’d written today.
Rival? This is already amusing me and I'm not even sure what it's about yet!

“When are you going to stop this nonsense? Artificial Pokemon generation is extremely dangerous. We barely know anything about how Pokemon physiology works and you continue to have the gall to try your hand. You’ve learned nothing from the failures of the Aether foundation. Porygon’s extensibility is not a toy.”
The gall! :wowzard:

Love the different use of font, by the way.

He’d left one hundred such comments on my blog.
Whaaat? Why is he so persistent? Are there really people out there that go to such lengths for stuff? (At least for the purpose of your fic, I can believe that is something that can happen in this world)

This one was concise - he would often leave page-long screeds on decision theory and how artificial Pokemon synthesis was objectively foolish. I felt flattered, really, that he thought I had the know-how to create a Pokemon that could destroy the world.
Hmm! Maybe it CAN? :eyes:

For just a moment, I felt I wasn’t a failure from some backwater town trying to edge my way into a world that clearly didn’t want me.
Dang that's rough. :sadwott: In other words, that's how she usually feels.

Having finished the comments, I turned to my emails. I rarely got any, but today there was one bolded title.

Sender: NEO A-LIFE
Topic: Porygon White Paper
Oh! So the chapter title is more specifically involved! Not to mention the title of the fic!

Body:
Dear Cassandra,
Your research on the Porygon project is truly astonishing. You’ve made incredible progress on reconstructing the details.
My name is Emily LeVant, and I am the founder of NEO-A-LIFE. We’re a startup that focuses on Porygon generation. I’m looking for a researcher who knows their Porygon stuff, and you seem like you fit the bill. We have access to documents you may find intriguing. I have attached, for your eyes only, a snippet of the original Porygon white paper. This is the intellectual property of NEO-A-LIFE. Do not upload this anywhere.
I’d like to meet with you to discuss the possibility of you joining our team. I will be in Celadon City for the weekend.
Yours,
Emily
Wow, that sounds like exactly the type of thing she would jump on without a second thought! :wowzard:

I ran the attachment through the antivirus. No hits. Opening.
Instead of opening, maybe 'I opened it' or maybe 'opened' Opening is not past tense.

“Towards the first virtual Pokemon: Porygon. Authors: Anisha Abad, James McClinton, Marcello Garcia. We present here a novel method for creating the world’s first decompositional artificial Pokemon, named Porygon. Using this method, Porygon is able to both keep a physical form and move in the digital world…”
I have to say, your overall writing style is very clean! I'm finding it hard to pick out flaws or suggestions.

My hands felt numb. There was no way this could be it. And yet, it seemed to be. The authors were legitimate; I’d read about most of them beforehand. I’d never seen this abstract, and what they described made sense, but without the methods, it wasn’t entirely clear. It was inconceivable. Who was Emily, and was she seriously pitching me to join her company?
I like how Cassandra carefully analyzes everything. Really fits how you would expect a scientist to be.

I looked them up on the internet. Emily herself was apparently related to the head of a prestigious mining company in Hoenn. Her headshot on the website for NEO-A-LIFE showed a woman of small stature with glossy black hair, pink cheeks, and a big smile. She seemed… adorable? Anyone can start a company, but she seemed a little sweet-looking to be a startup founder.
A scientist doing her research! I approve. :veelove:

Adorable, huh? Now I'm very curious what these two characters interacting with each other will look like. Maybe Emily is anything but adorable in person? Maybe she will be exactly as advertised? I get the feeling it will be one extreme or the other. :mewlulz:

There wasn’t as much on NEO-A-LIFE. Just about everything on the company seemed to be made by Emily herself. A slick webpage with stock images of skyscrapers taking up half the page, bold font saying “Pokemon. Reimagined,” “The world is dynamic. Your Pokemon should be, too,” and more vague copy that didn’t really say anything but sure sounded enticing. “Using decompositional biology and identity-preserving eigenstructures, NEO-A-LIFE delivers scalable solutions at an affordable price.”
Huh. But solutions to WHAT, I wonder?

It was weird. It was obviously weird. Okay, maybe it was a real startup, but who just emails people out of the blue asking them to join their company? Or is was this normal?
You seem to write in past tense so I fixed the tense above.

I’d never been part of the corporate world. I forsook money to make a difference (although I ended up not doing that, either). Maybe I was the one who didn’t get it.

My heart raced and I had to get up and pace from one corner of this room to the other. I wove around the backpack and folders scattered carelessly across the floor, occasionally brushing my ankle against them. It couldn’t be real. It was too perfect. But it seemed like the real Porygon white paper. Where did she get that? How could I read the rest of it?
Not sure if you like to use italics to emphasize words, but if it were me, I might like to italics 'perfect' and 'real' here.

Also, you used real twice next to each other. Maybe switch one to genuine or something.

As for the plot in this bit, she is being cautious. Very understandable.

A familiar pressure pulsed in my temples. I grabbed the Pokeball I always kept in the bowl and headed out for fresh air. I let Magnezone out of his ball. I saw his silhouette in white before his features became clearer, and he rotated his magnets in happiness at seeing me.
Was Magnezone causing the pressure in her temples? I'm not sure if she is describing a headache in terms of that maybe they are something she sometimes has or if Magnezone was doing it from inside the Pokeball as a way of asking for attention. (Probably a headache I'm guessing since Pokeballs are supposed to completely contain Pokemon at least by my understanding of them)

Magnezone is a good choice. Very fitting for her background.

“Nice to see you too,” I said. “Wanna go for a walk with me? I need to clear my head.”
A walk? Don't you mean a 'float'? :mewlulz:

Feels like a missed opportunity. Like she could ask Magnezone if he wants to go for a float and then snicker at it because she always finds it to be an amusing insider joke for herself or something since its not going for a 'walk'.

Magnezone made his affirmative sound, and I raced him to the ground floor down the stairs. He won, of course, because he can just float down, but it’s a habit we established, and it got the blood pumping. I emerged from the stairwell to see him at the exit, screws tightening and loosening in anticipation.
This was a nice interaction!

“Oh, you won again!” I said in mock horror. “How will I ever catch up to you?” I scratched my ear. “Let’s take a walk to the department store.”

It was cloudy out, but I didn't mind. Harsh sunlight would reflect off Magnezone and I didn’t think to bring my sunglasses.
Realistic problems! :wowzard:

Nice!

“Okay, so Magnezone, I need you to hear me out. I got this email from some lady who’s starting a company. Normally I wouldn’t pay attention to it, but she has the original Porygon white paper. And you know how much I want to make a Porygon.”

Magnezone buzzed.

“This company, it looks like it’s real. But I don’t know about this. Like, do you really think that I should meet up with her? What if she’s crazy?”
I love how you use this section as a way of having her voice her concerns. Works well!

Magnezone made another sound. I wished he had a human understanding of the world. I felt his judgment would be fantastic.
Such a cute line. :mewlulz:

But his world was not my world. He’d been my companion since he was just a little Magnemite, and I would always talk to him when I needed a sounding board. He didn’t fully understand; I once caught him falling asleep when I explained the complexities of academic funding politics. But whether he got it or not, he was still my buddy, and it felt good to share these things with him.
Neat to see how she views it.

My lips cracked again - apparently soda pop didn’t really quench your thirst.
Wait, she is HOW old and is just now figuring that out?? :copyka:

We finally arrived at the Celadon department store, and I headed to the water fountain by the side of the building. “So,” I asked between gulps, “should I do it?”
A water fountain. Clearly you have good taste! My fic ALSO features water fountains! :mewlulz:

Magnezone stared at me with his unblinking red eye. I wiped the water on my chin off with the back of my hand. It was not fair to expect Magnezone to make such a decision for me. His world was electromagnetism, battle, floating, not major career decisions in your late twenties. Still, I wished he could talk to me like those Rotom talk to humans in Alola.
But Magnezone doesn't even understand it so how could Magnezone even decide for you anyway... Even if you make Magnezone flip a coin, there is no need to apologize for putting it all on Magnezone, because all Magnezone is seeing is a coin that was flipped and none of the weight behind what that coin flip represents!

But this paragraph isn't giving me a super serious vibe, so maybe you like it as it is or maybe this is just part of showing us how she thinks.

I stopped, stepped away from the water fountain, and closed my eyes. Pros of meeting with Emily - I’d get to learn more about this mysterious Porygon white paper. Con - she could be a serial killer (epistemic status: unlikely) or a weirdo (possible?). Pros of not meeting with Emily - I’d get to stay home. Cons - I would never know what’s in that paper.
Even if I didn't already know where this was going from the summary, there is no way she can resist meeting with Emily.

Dude, what if someone made a troll fic? They set up this big amazing thing and it just abruptly ends by the main character being lazy and going home? :mewlulz:

My teeth chewed the inside of my mouth. “I can’t spend the rest of my life not knowing what the deal with this paper is. I’m going to set up a meeting with her.”

He seemed pleased with this, though for what reason I could not say. I loved his joy anyway.
I'm enjoying the way you depict the bond with her Magnezone.

I prompted him to enter his Pokeball before entering the department store - he was a little too big to have floating around in cramped spaces. I bought some of his favorite Poke Puffs and felt his Pokeball rattle as I passed through the automatic doors. I tapped the ball twice to let him know it’s safe to come out. He wriggled in anticipation and I tossed him his cupcakes. He ate them in his inscrutable way as we returned home in the setting sun’s light. All I could think of was what I was going to write:
Wait a minute. You can't just mention a Magnezone eating cupcakes and then not have a SCIENTIST give some kind of explanation how the eating works! How does Magnezone even taste things to begin with? Can they REALLY eat normal food or do you need to feed them electricity from a charger or something? I can't stop thinking about it now. This fic is supposed to explore stuff, so explore it! :unquag:

“Dear Emily, I’m interested. How about this Saturday at 3:00 PM at the cafe by the department store?”
And so it begins. As for what that may entail, I'd be curious to see.

The first three chapters were originally written in first person present tense. I stopped after a while because it felt so unnatural and I wasn't really getting anything from it. If you spot a tense inconsistency, let me know!
Ah! And yet I did find once such thing! Happy to oblige!

Closing thoughts:
Great opening chapter! Does very well introducing our presumed protagonist, Cassandra. We get to see where she was in life, where she is in life, where she wants to be in life, the bond with her Magnezone, and the events leading to the plot to come. Does a good job explaining things and giving us context. I like what I'm seeing so far, but I think the next chapter will be a firm indication of the quality of the fic. Curious to see more!
 
Chapter 3: The Shape of the Future

Goolix

Junior Trainer
Many thanks to everyone who commented and reviewed!! I will respond to you guys, but I want to get this new chapter out of the way first, so let's take a look at Emily and Cassandra after they've moved in to the Saffron office.

Chapter 3: The Shape of the Future
-Emily-

Everything happened so quickly, yet it felt like we’d been living like this for years. Cassandra informed me that she was ready to join the company “because working on Porygon is the chance of a lifetime.” Her landlord was alright with subleasing, and we were lucky that an aspiring gym trainee desperately wanted a place not far from Celadon's gym. The only real furniture she had were bookshelves, a desk, and a bed frame. Even with that, it was too much for us to lift on our own, and so we hired the Machoke Moving Company to help us out.

They made fast work of packing and unloading in the Saffron office. Her new home would be a spare room in the lab, her office/bedroom. Not too different from my own sleeping arrangement. Once the Machoke had left, she ripped open the boxes to try to bring order back to this new place. Her books were in complete disarray - we had to pack them so quickly that we couldn’t preserve the meticulous shelf order she’d come up with.

It must have been crazy for her. This was what I had wanted, and yet it was objectively insane. We barely knew each other beyond a shared passion for Porygon and now we lived under the same roof. We needed something to mark this occasion, a ritual - something I had already planned, of course. The mini-fridge in the empty main room was stocked for just this occasion.

I walked into her office/bedroom, my hands cradling a cool bottle of prosecco. “Hey, think you can take a break? We've worked pretty hard today. We should have a little drink.”

She was trying to figure out where to shelve “Principles of Pokemon Linguistics” and “Magnemite: A Concise Introduction,” her blue eyes scanning the haphazardly stuffed brown bookcase for a meaningful slot.

“Sounds good,” she mumbled. “Just give me a minute, I don’t remember if I put these together under ‘social science’ or if the Magnemite one goes under ‘pop history’...”

I bit my lip. Turned out the whole twitchy neurotic thing wasn’t an act to look like a crazed genius. I suppressed a sigh and said, “c’mon, there’s nothing urgent about getting these books in order. Magnemite can wait until tomorrow, can’t it?”

She rested her head against her inclined pointer finger, which in turn bent back to a ferocious degree. “You’re right. Magnemite can wait.” She lifted herself off the floor and clapped her hands together. “We should celebrate! I mean, I’m here, I made it!” She laughed nervously. “Quit my job…”

“And good riddance, I say. You’re wasted as an office worker. One day we are going to be the ones hiring accounts receivable representatives.” I jerked my chin towards an empty corner of the main room. I’d set up some cheese and crackers, the absolute cheapest I could find at Saffron Grocery prices. I wished we could have had a tasteful brie, but bargain bin cheddar would have to do. I twisted the cork off with a napkined hand and watched the topper ricochet against the wall before falling ignominiously to the floor. The froth rose and I quickly tipped a tipple into our two plastic champagne flutes.

“To NEO-A-LIFE. To Porygon. To the future,” I toasted, and the glasses clinked in union.

“To the future,” said Cassandra, and we both took a sip. It was not very good, but she smiled and said it was tasty. “Hey, come to think of it, do you have Pokemon? I don’t think I’ve met yours.”

“True,” I said, and I walked to my purse and released Clefable from her Love Ball. She took form before Cassandra, her green nylon ribbon tied into a bow behind her ear. “This is Clefable, one of my longest Pokemon partners.”

“Pleased to meet you,” said Cassandra, who knelt and held out her hand. Clefable extended her paw and the two participated in a fascinating facsimile of a handshake. Cassandra then got up. “Well, you showed me yours, I’ll show you mine. I’ve only really got Magnezone. Normally I wouldn’t let him out indoors, but this place is plenty spacious.” Her voice reverberated in the unfurnished room as if to prove a point.

She headed to her room and returned with a Great Ball. She clicked the white button and released Magnezone. She wasn’t wrong - it was a biggun. Clefable's relatively tall, but Magnezone was broad and dense, and its floating in space somehow made it seem to occupy even more vertical space.

“Magnezone, as I told you, this is Emily,” said Cassandra. “We’re going to be working together.” Magnezone rotated its enormous body towards me, staring me down with its three eyes. I rarely felt intimidated in the presence of Pokemon, but this one had the same potency of gaze as Cassandra, and I got the distinct impression that I was being judged.

“Magnezone!” I said, eager to make a good impression. I wondered if the handshake thing was something Cassandra expected Pokemon to receive, and I foolishly held out my own hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Magnezone tilted itself towards me and rotated its enormous magnets near my hand before returning to its original position.

“I’ve had Magnezone since I was a kid,” said Cassandra, walking up to the beast. “He’s honestly like a confidante. He was actually a Magneton for a long time, and we were planning on keeping it that way, but I got to do a field trip to Mt. Coronet once and I told him and he really wanted to go. And how can you say no to a face like that?”

I could think of a thousand and one ways to say no to a face like that, but I nodded at this story. I felt something at hearing her call this expressionless creature her confidante. Like calling a potted plant your best friend. Perhaps I was rushing to judge because an unblinking red eye and a pair of pinprick pupils were locked on me constantly and I swore I felt a negative vibe emanating from the Steel-type. Or perhaps the prosecco was hitting. I made a mental note to google “are magnezone good judges of character” before going to sleep.

Clefable walked up to Magnezone. “Clefay!” She twirled her finger, eyes glinting.

“I think she wants to battle,” I said.

“Oh,” said Cassandra, “Magnezone isn’t really for battling.”

Mental record scratch. “Pardon?”

“I mean he can. He has. He’s not half bad, if I say so myself. No, I’m just kind of a terrible trainer. I did the whole rigamarole of your Year of Training. I don’t think I have the stuff for it.” She had finished the glass and was halfway through a second one I hadn’t seen her pour. “Look, it’s never really been my dream to become the champion, right? Honestly, the closest thing I had to a dream at that point was to get the hell out of Ecrutreak.”

“Now that, I didn’t expect. You are from Ecruteak?”

She rolled her eyes and took another gulp. “Yeah.”

“But it’s so…”

“Stuffy? Conservative? Backwards? Yeah. Yeah, I know.” She scratched her temples. “I stopped leading with that. If you’re from Ecruteak, everyone expects you to be into legendary Pokemon. ‘Oh, you’re gonna study Suicune? Ho-oh? Gonna meet a legendary?’ Like no, I’m not stuck in the past, shut up!”

I grinned, sipping my prosecco. “Okay, no Ho-oh, but I feel like you could be a kimono girl. You’d look so elegant in a Bellosom print kimono.”

Her expression suggested this line of teasing wasn’t something she was interested in exploring.

“I have nothing to do with anything from that town. Nothing but a monument to worshiping the past. We’re here because we want to create the future.”

“Hear, hear!” I said, raising my glass. “I’m from Rustboro. Not as stuffy as your Ecruteak, but it’s hard to escape the shadow of the Stone family. The LeVant family is as successful and yet nobody has ever heard of us.”

“Same line of business?”

“We’re not quite as diversified as they are, but we are trying. Mostly resource extraction. My dad runs it now, and my two older brothers were groomed to take their place in the company.”

“Is your dad a chauvinist or something?”

I laughed. “Not quite. He wanted me to take my place, too, but I didn’t want to just take something he’d made. I wanted to make my own thing. Although when I told them I wanted to start my own company, Larry said, ‘what are you doing, cosmetics?’”

Cassandra stuck out her tongue.

“And when I said I wanted to do tech, he said, ‘oh, so wearables?’ He’s a piece of work. They knew I’d been obsessed with Porygon since I was a little girl and they couldn’t connect it to this startup.” I shrugged. “I guess I can’t complain too much since they are still funding this.”

“I was wondering how you were able to afford all this. I thought maybe you were blowing your life savings on this.”

“I am using a lot of my trust fund,” I admitted. “But my dad liked the gumption to start something of my own and said he’d help. It’s not enough to fund the whole company. But look, Cassandra, if we can get that proof of concept, the first Porygon, and get some investors? We won’t need to rely on him. Well, he is technically an investor and he’s owed a share of profits, but I mean, he won’t be the majority shareholder.”

“He’s majority shareholder? Umm, I’m sorry, I don’t really understand all this… startup language,” she said, embarrassed. I’d forgotten in our tipsy zeal that her background was in academia (and apparently silk kimonos), not business.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “We need to get some helpers to help you in the lab, and then we get our proof of concept, move towards the minimum viable product, and we can start working the fundraising round.”

She nodded along, seemingly ignorant of everything I’d just said.

“When did you get into Porygon?” she asked. “I got into it as a teen. Honestly, not too long after meeting Magnemite. I’d made a trip into Goldenrod to their library and I read about the work Silph was doing in the 90s. I gotta say, those guys were visionaries. I think I felt my stomach flip when I read that they made a Pokemon. They made a Pokemon! This wasn’t altering a Pokemon that wasn’t already there, no Mewtwo, no Genesect, this is a Pokemon from scratch, and everyone seems to just… not care?”

“Porygon wasn’t exactly a strong battler,” I pointed out.

“I feel like everything revolves around battle sometimes. Yes, sport is good, we get it, how about like… research? Knowledge? Wisdom?” She reached for the prosecco bottle only to find it empty. “Dangit." I went to the mini-fridge and fetched us two beers. I’d been saving these for Friday wind-down, but I figured as co-founders we should get to know each other. As I walked back into the room, I saw Clefable and Magnezone had settled into a corner, having their own chat. Goodness only knows what they’re saying about us. I shook the thought out of my head and handed the opened bottle to Cassandra.

“Thanks,” she said as she took the stout. “To be fair, it’s not just the battle. Silph was really gung-ho on this idea that Porygon was going to take us into space. It’s ambitious, really, but it didn’t work out. They poured all this money into making Porygon2 to go into space, and yet when they collaborated with Mossdeep Space Center, the Pokemon can’t even move in zero-g. Really embarrassing.”

“And you know what incredible, paradigm-busting artificial Pokemon we got after that,” I said, setting up the beat…

“Castform!!” we said in uniform and collapsed laughing.

“Can’t go into space? Why not track the weather?” she giggled.

“Castform - the Pokemon that’s as effective as opening your window and looking at the sky! Only millions of Pokeyen to research!” I add.

“Castform - even worse than Porygon at battling.”

I wiped a tear from my eye. “Castform. Yeesh. You want to know why I love Porygon? Say what you will about version 1, but I saw Porygon2 in battle and I was stunned. I’d never seen such a Pokemon like that before. And Porygon-Z is a machine. I knew we were leaving something on the table by not going further with it. Beautiful, incredible, unique.”

“I’ve never owned one,” admitted Cassandra. “They’re… not easy to get a hold of in Johto.”

“I had one,” I said. “Didn’t work for my team. I did try the whole League thing out. But I couldn’t bear to get rid of it. It’s… gorgeous. I knew it was the shape of the future.”

We stopped on that beat. She didn’t say anything, but I had the feeling that we were on the same wavelength for the first time. We came from opposite backgrounds, but we shared a vision, an obsession, and the audacity to bring it to life.

"They poured all this money into making Porygon2 to go into space, and yet when they collaborated with Mossdeep Space Center, the Pokemon can’t even move in zero-g."
A reference to the Pokedex entries such as the following from LeafGreen: "This upgraded version of Porygon is designed for space exploration. However, it can't even fly." My first thought for an organization that had gone to space would be Mossdeep, since they have rocket launches. I like to think Porygon2 got put on a test-flight but disappointed by not being able to move. It didn't die from not needing to breathe, which is good, but I guess they wanted full motion in space.

Porygon received no further software updates from Silph, suggesting development on the program was halted. There was an unofficial update from Team Galactic engineers to produce Porygon-Z, but Porygon has seen no official or unofficial work since.

“I stopped leading with that. If you’re from Ecruteak, everyone expects you to be into legendary Pokemon. ‘Oh, you’re gonna study Suicune? Ho-oh? Gonna meet a legendary?’ Like no, I’m not stuck in the past, shut up!”
I am actually a big fan of fics dealing with legendaries, but I thought it would be funny to have Cassandra be sort of ideologically opposed to being into legendaries, especially once associated with Ecruteak. She's just tired of the stereotype 😩

No offense to Castform enthusiasts - I love Castform! But I always thought that it was very funny that this Pokemon was created to help with tracking climate, and yet its primary function is changing form based on the weather... which you can do by looking outside. Weather enthusiasts sometimes say if you want to know if it's going to rain soon, you're better served by looking out your window than checking an app. Castform feels a little overengineered in that regard. :P
 

Tango

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Hey there, I'm here for review of Chapter 2!

Chapter 2: Interview
-Emily-
Oh! This switches it up to Emily now! Alright, lets see just how 'adorable' she really is...

It was 3:15PM, and my interviewee was late.
Yikes Cassandra. Exact job you want and you are late for the interview? :copyka:

I figured she’d be punctual since she said she lived close, and yet I was alone at this fashionable cafe with a room temperature latte.
Oh, so this is considerably more than five minutes late! Oh, boy.

I checked my phone and caught a message from her:

Cassandra: Sorry, got caught up in something, I am on my way!
Smooth Cassandra. Way to make a first impression...

Nothing to do but wait. I slipped the phone back into my purse and decided to start on the coffee. I tugged back the cuffs on my blazer - I really did need to get it tailored - and took a sip. Lukewarm, yet delicious. The roast was neither too acidic nor too bitter, and the ratio of coffee to milk was divine. Saffron may have been the center of technological investment, but Celadon remained the best city for food.
She is a coffee connoisseur, I see! Either that or a rabid coffee addict...

What I was doing - waiting for someone I'd cold-emailed to show up - was admittedly a little nuts.
The dashes here seem a bit odd for formatting. Aren't these doing what commas are supposed to do?

Nuts? Nuts compared to what? How does she normally go about this sort of thing?

The fact that she agreed to do this was full on coconuts.
If that's true, then why on earth would you reach out to her to start with? :copyka:

I had been firing off emails to potential collaborators, but most of them got no response or polite dismissals.
So relatable. Like me looking for review exchange partners! (Although I've had some great luck with that this week! :veelove:)

One person informed me that I was “stuck in the past” for wanting to continue the “failed paradigm” of Porygon research. Cassandra was intriguing - years and years of obsessive posting on Porygon, trying to piece together the original paradigm.
You used paradigm twice recently. Not sure if you try to avoid using the same word twice in rapid succession, but if so, I figured I'd point it out.

I’d spent hours reading her blog, until I got all the way back to the first post she made. It felt like a dream come true - someone invested in Porygon, with lab experience, and living in Celadon, to boot.

The dream was still a quarter of an hour late.
Dang, she takes that fifteen minutes super serious :mewlulz:

I hope I'm not starting to pick up on micro management vibes here.

I checked my phone again to see if there was any response. I looked up from the ‘no new notifications’ screen to take a sip of my coffee when I saw a woman with a frizz halo and bagged out chinos hovering over my table.
Frizz halo? Bagged out chinos? I'm going to call this a 'me' problem, but I have no clue what you are saying here.

Ok, I had to look these up on Google. Got it. Fashion related. No wonder I wasn't aware...

“Hey, are you Emily?”

I felt awkward trying to finish drinking my coffee and talking at the same time. Her gaze hung on me as I finished swallowing. “Yes, Emily LeVant. You must be Cassandra.”

“Yeah, I’m Cassandra,” she said, and she stuck her hand out, still standing. I shook her hand and was surprised at how firm her grip was. Was this a power play, or did she not realize this was over the top? “I’m sorry I’m late.” She took a chair across from me. “I don’t live far from here, so I got a little too confident about how quickly I could get here.”
Hmm... Emily does not like what she sees so far.

There was no photo of her on her site, yet she didn’t look how I expected. Her chestnut brown hair was gathered in a ponytail, sneaking out and curling behind her ears. Most noticeable about her were her eyes, which seemed to focus on me as if I were the most interesting person in the world. I felt like a bug under a microscope.
Well, what did you expect, Emily? You offered a job to an eccentric about the thing they have been obsessively pouring over in their free time!

“I’m glad you could make it,” I said. “I’m really excited to talk to you about this. I’ve read your blog top to bottom.”
Well, if Cassandra didn't like her before, I'll bet she sure does now! :wowzard:

“Seriously? I’m happy to hear that!” The comment had rosied her cheeks. “I’ve been interested in Porygon for basically my entire life. I don’t even really understand how anyone can not be obsessed with Porygon. We synthesized a Pokemon. In the 90s. This should have been a revolution!”

“Trust me, I’ve heard it all. When the Porygon2 project didn’t even make it into space, it killed investor interest in custom synthetic Pokemon.”

Cassandra giggled awkwardly. “There’s this guy on my blog who’s constantly telling me that my research is going to lead to some Type:Null-like disaster. Dude, it’s Porygon. It’s such a mild Pokemon!”
I feel an immense amount of foreshadowing from this seemingly innocent comment. I feel like this comment is exactly where things will be heading and its going to be completely insane.

She looked at my empty mug of coffee. “Oh yeah, do you mind if I order something?”
And they both think nothing of it. Oh man... :mewlulz:

“Not at all,” I said, and she promptly placed an order, coming back with a number. I couldn’t tell what her gimmick was. Chatty, unprofessionally dressed, and unpunctual. Perhaps some kind of wunderkind cosplay?
Honestly, I like Cassandra's flaws. Helps her feel more authentic.

“So,” she said, “I would love to hear more about this Porygon white paper you messaged me about.”

I tapped the handle of my mug. “Before we get into that, I want to talk to you about this venture I want to build. I think it will help you understand.”

She nodded, and I took a deep breath. Pitch time. “So, I’m sure you know what makes Porygon special among artificial Pokemon. The fact that we can upload its consciousness, have it work in the digital world, and then come back to a physical form…”

“Decompositionality, yes,” she said, a little impatiently.

“Exactly,” I said.
I see you are a fan of using 'said' Bolded above to point them out in case you wanted to switch them around.

It's hard for me to find more useful things to point out, so I'm probably a bit nit picky at times. Mostly because I want to be useful, not to annoy.

The way you handle dialogue in general seems pretty advanced to me. I could probably stand to learn some things by your examples.

“Porygon is much more flexible than any other artificial Pokemon. We only began to explore this functionality with Conversion. But I think we can go further. We can make Porygon with custom typings, stats, moves. Porygon can be something that we build for your use case in particular. Instead of having to go through the hassle of dealing with Pokemon breeders, why not just get what you need, right away?”
Oh man! That seems huge!

Cassandra watched me as I spoke, her eyes never leaving mine. I found it hard to tell if I was reaching her.

“So, your goal is to make custom Porygon? And sell them?”

“Yes. We at NEO-A-LIFE want to create Porygon for specialized applications. Rescue teams, security guards, industrial settings, you name it. We could have a ghost/dark Porygon for a security team and built in data-monitoring to improve security routines. We could have Porygon with particular move combinations that no organic Pokemon could have. We’re targeting institutions that need to work with Pokemon at massive scales.”

She nodded slowly, her gaze loosely hanging over her coffee cup. “I never really considered joining a company, but … it’s interesting… I mean, I think that the issue with the Porygon project and space was just that they didn’t realize what they had on their hands. There was this big ambition about sending Porygon to space and when it didn’t work out, instead of pivoting, it’s like everyone lost their imagination and stopped using it entirely. ‘Oh, artificial Pokemon aren’t really useful.’ It’s nonsense, but the paradigm just lost steam. I think… making it more about customization could be a good idea.” Her eyes snapped back. “But without knowing how to make Porygon, I’m not sure we can move forward with this.”

Still focused on the white paper. That obsessive focus wasn’t just for the blog. “Of course, without access to the source code, we can’t make any Porygon and our project’s dead in the water. That’s why getting this made NEO-A-LIFE possible.” I opened the binder I had placed on the table and turned it to Cassandra. She read intently, and I could tell there was no point in trying to talk to her as she scanned the paper. I waited, though not for long; she read quickly. She finished the first two pages and turned back to me.

“I’ve never seen anything like this before. How did you get this?”
So far, all of this is making a huge amount of sense. Very cool!

“I did a lot of research on people who worked on the original Porygon project. One of them was willing to send me a copy of this. He was very passionate about continuing research on Porygon, but he told me his days of science were over. He wanted us to carry the torch.”

Cassandra curled her lips inward. “We don’t have the source code, do we?”

I smiled. “Actually, that was another one of his parting gifts. We have the source code. What we need is someone who knows how to interpret it, and how to work a lab. We need someone who can create new Porygon. Someone like you.”

She was trying to stay composed, but she was blinking a lot.

“That’s… wow. That’s amazing. You have the source code… but why do you need me? I’m not the only person who’s worked in artificial Pokemon synthesis,” she said. She wasn’t hooked yet, but she was looking for a reason to be.
Emily seems slightly shady... but it IS an interview so it's not unexpected.

“You’re right. If you want someone to generate Castform, you can easily go to the Hoenn weather institute. But I’m not looking for Castform. I’m not looking for someone who breeds Porygon. I’m looking for a person who is passionate about synthesizing Porygon, who knows everything about it, and has the skills to bring it to life. The number of people meeting my requirements is quite small. You are part of that number.”

“What exactly do you want me to do? As part of this NEO-A-LIFE.”

“I want you to be my technical lead. You will be in charge of a team of scientists tasked with making the Porygon we need. You will receive equity in the company.”

“Where is the money? I mean, how are we going to get the money?”
Makes sense that she would ask about that considering her history.

I liked that ‘we’.
Wow Emily is SHARP to pick up on stuff! Poor Cassandra... :copyka:

“I don’t know if you know my father. Michael LeVant. He runs a successful resource extraction company in Hoenn. My two older brothers work with him. I wanted to go my own way. He’s funding our research and development. Once we get a viable product, it’s off to the races.”
Still sounds like some questionable financing, but I guess they don't need everything all at once and if things start working then they can be self-sufficient.

I waited with bated breath. She seemed to be weighing the options. “I… this sounds really interesting. But I don’t know if I’m ready to join a startup. It wasn’t in my plans…”

“What else have you got going on?”
Oof! She went right for the gut-punch there! :mewlulz:

Silence. “Well, I’m working as an… accounts receivable representative at…” She trailed off.
Yeah... that really does say it all right there. She freaking hates that soul-draining job.

“Think about it. I’ve already got lab space rented out in Saffron.”

“Saffron?” Her eyes bugged. “No way, I can’t afford that. You don’t seriously expect me to commute there every day? I mean, I bike there every now and then to check out the library, but it’d kill my legs.”

“You can room with me,” I blurted. “Just temporarily. You can sleep in a room in the lab. Startup life isn’t always glamorous, but we have options. Look,” I reached across the table, “Cassandra, this is going to be big. There are massive inefficiencies in the current Pokemon breeding paradigm. Everyone’s so focused on battling that nobody thinks about the institutional applications. I believe that Porygon can change the world. Do you?”

Our eyes locked, and the world seemed to go still for a second before she broke gaze. “I will think about it.”

I pulled back. “Of course. It’s a big decision. I hope you’ll think it over carefully.” I pulled out a business card - one of a few I had - and handed it over for her. She read it.

“Well, thanks for waiting for me,” she said. Her eyes flicked to the binder. “I can’t get a copy of that, can I…?”

“It’s property of NEO-A-LIFE.”

She puffed out her nose a little. “Mmm, I see. Well, thank you anyway. I’ll sleep on it.” She waved awkwardly before walking away.
I've got to say I'm enjoying how Cassandra doesn't just jump completely in and take the bait hook line and sinker. Resistance gives it a bit more... anticipation. You are also using it well to pitch the idea to the readers. Works extremely well!

I waited for her to leave before I went to the counter and ordered a big mug of coffee and banana nut bread.
Coffee addict confirmed! :wowzard:

Mmm banana bread...

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fe1zQFz1U8


I sat back down and took out my list of leads. If Cassandra didn’t join, I didn’t have a lot of options. I tapped my fingers on the walnut furniture, surprisingly tasteful for a cafe in a department store. She’ll join - she has to. This project couldn’t end before it even begins.

The coffee and bread arrived, both steaming hot. The bread was so moist I could easily carve a chunk off with my spoon. It tasted as sweet as it smelled, though the crust was a touch burnt. At least Cassandra picked a decent place. My overgrown gel manicure caught my eye as I tapped the mug; it could use a touch-up too. Thankfully Cassandra didn’t seem like the type to get caught up on appearances. Then again, that would be a problem if I really brought her on board. She would definitely need to be polished before I showed her to any investors…
Poor poor Cassandra! Emily will be having her dancing around like a puppet! 😅

With the mug emptied of its contents, I stopped to consider my next move. The coffee shop was full of customers, several of whom had their Pokemon out, and I decided to join them. I released Clefable, who materialized on the chair next to me.

“Clefable!” she chimed, looking at the leftovers of my banana nut bread.

“You can have it if you like, glutton.” She took it in her little paws, sat down, and carefully began eating. She looked comically disproportionate in the human-sized chair with her stumpy legs.
That would look pretty funny, yeah!

“I’m staying in Celadon for one more day,” I explained. “It would be more convenient that way if Cassandra decides to hop on board.” I checked my phone on a hunch, but nothing from her. “If nothing else, we can get some shopping done. I need to freshen up my shoe collection a little. And you’d look adorable with a satin ribbon, wouldn’t you?”

Her eyes lit up, as I knew they would - Clefable’s vanity outmatched mine. “Finish up your snack and we’ll have a little budget-friendly shopping free. If things work out, we’re going to have to keep tightening our belts.”
I enjoy how the mon Emily and Cassandra have seem to mesh well with them.

Also, all Emily needs to do is lock Clefable in a room with Cassandra for a few hours and I imagine she would have a complete makeover regardless if she wanted it or not! :mewlulz:

Clefable narrowed her eyes at me, but there was no arguing the point. She wasn’t paying rent - she didn’t even understand the concept. I’d probably pout too if all my housing were taken care of. Well, this was the first time I’d had to actually pay rent; daddy always took care of that sort of thing. I saw why the general population was so stressed all the time.
Clefable has some expensive taste. :mewlulz:

She swallowed the last of the dessert and stood up, excited to browse the stands. We headed to a trendy store for Pokemon accessories. The selection of ribbons was much nicer than anything else they had at Saffron - colors, materials, trims. I spotted a gorgeous magenta ribbon in a smooth finish - genuine silk. It would make a striking contrast to Clefable’s bubblegum pink fur. But real silk was expensive and a hassle to clean. Clefable looked cute and played mean; she’d tear through this in nothing. I put the spool back on its hook.
I like how you highlight the differences between Saffron and Celedon. The two really are quite different vibes.

Clefable found an emerald green ribbon in a nylon - a tasteful and durable choice. “You want this one?” I asked. She nods,
nodded instead of nods - tense slip here.

placing it behind her ear to show where she wants
wanted

to wear it. I purchased it and checked my watch. It was late. My shoe shopping spree would have to wait for another day.

I returned to the cheap hotel room I’ve paid for. Minimum amenities. I kicked my shoes off on the bed, and I checked my phone again. Nothing. I took a shower, changed into my pajamas. Clefable’s ball was on the headstand, next to the alarm clock and next to my head. I wished we could have had the chance to battle in Celadon. She was a scrappy fighter. She’d make a hell of a negotiator. Maybe that’s what she was in her previous life.

I tucked myself into bed, and reached to turn the phone vibration off when it buzzed.

I unlocked it. One message.

Cassandra: It’s Cass. I’m in.
Figures she would reply late at night. She probably kept pacing back and forth, her mind racing but the offer was just too tempting to pass up even if it financially destroys her.

Author's Notes
There's a recurring theme in the Pokedex entries for Porygon2 that it was somehow planned to go into space. Obviously one should take Pokedex entries with a grain of salt, but it would actually make sense that a Pokemon like Porygon(2) would be meant for space. It has no need to breathe or eat, for one. Some of the entries suggest that Porygon2 was prepared to go into space, but most of them say it say failed.
Ah, that makes sense! And you made it like a space race. All kinds of hype that soon died out.

Emily awkwardly waiting in a cute Celadon cafe to interview some rando on the internet. Incredible life decisions on display here.
Well, hey. If it works, it works lol...

Clefable!!! I love her. Her passions are vanity and violence. Also being Emily's buddy.
Clefable amuses me. :mewlulz:

Closing thoughts:
Ok, so now we get to see more of the story but from Emily's perspective. As such, the fic now feels like it has a duo of protagonists. Seeing the way both of them act and think is interesting.

I have to say, this fic is off to a great start so far. Clearly this is NOT your first fic. You are way too skilled of a writer for that to be the case. The way you take an idea in this fic and dive in head first reminds me of the way I focus on and write my own fic. Now that we have seen a bit of both perspectives and the plot moved farther along, I'm curious to see what happens next.
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Premium
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
  9. porygon
  10. giratina-origin
  11. houndoom
It must have been crazy for her. This was what I had wanted, and yet it was objectively insane. We barely knew each other beyond a shared passion for Porygon and now we lived under the same roof.
This is so insane and I love it. They're both freaks in different ways.
I wished we could have had a tasteful brie, but bargain bin cheddar would have to do
UGH SAME GIRL. I got turned onto brie some few months back after basically never having it my whole life and I was on a bingo for a few weeks.
Cheddar only? Ooof. Agony
I could think of a thousand and one ways to say no to a face like that, but I nodded at this story. I felt something at hearing her call this expressionless creature her confidante. Like calling a potted plant your best friend.
I love these slowly unfolding glimpses into her inner viewpoint. It's very revealing of their characters and outlooks. Comparing the inorganic pokemon Magnezone to a potted plant says quite a lot, even about their ambitions to make Porygon. :copyka: They may both love Porygon but I be they see very different things from it.
“I mean he can. He has. He’s not half bad, if I say so myself. No, I’m just kind of a terrible trainer. I did the whole rigamarole of your Year of Training. I don’t think I have the stuff for it.”
I love the little references to how the world works and the training year being an expected thing !
“Stuffy? Conservative? Backwards? Yeah. Yeah, I know.” She scratched her temples. “I stopped leading with that. If you’re from Ecruteak, everyone expects you to be into legendary Pokemon. ‘Oh, you’re gonna study Suicune? Ho-oh? Gonna meet a legendary?’ Like no, I’m not stuck in the past, shut up!”
[Angry screams from Koa in the background]
“I’m from Rustboro. Not as stuffy as your Ecruteak, but it’s hard to escape the shadow of the Stone family. The LeVant family is as successful and yet nobody has ever heard of us.”
Ohoh, a dash of political/economical drama! I like these, this makes the world pop and feel more alive.
“Porygon wasn’t exactly a strong battler,” I pointed out.

“I feel like everything revolves around battle sometimes. Yes, sport is good, we get it, how about like… research? Knowledge? Wisdom?”
I always enjoy little bits of seeing the world through no trainer eyes and how the battle-obsessed culture of pokemon might lead to them missing stuff like other applications of a Porygon.
“Castform!!” we said in uniform and collapsed laughing.

“Can’t go into space? Why not track the weather?” she giggled.

“Castform - the Pokemon that’s as effective as opening your window and looking at the sky! Only millions of Pokeyen to research!” I add.

“Castform - even worse than Porygon at battling.”
The Castform salt is real :mewlulz:. There's nothing like shared dislike to bring people together lol.
We stopped on that beat. She didn’t say anything, but I had the feeling that we were on the same wavelength for the first time. We came from opposite backgrounds, but we shared a vision, an obsession, and the audacity to bring it to life.
:quag: I sense trouble on the horizon but I am so excited for them.
 

Tango

Mascot of the Doduo Alliance
Location
beyond the Nexus
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. doduo
I'm back for another review! This time for Chapter 3

Many thanks to everyone who commented and reviewed!! I will respond to you guys, but I want to get this new chapter out of the way first, so let's take a look at Emily and Cassandra after they've moved in to the Saffron office.
:quag:

Chapter 3: The Shape of the Future
-Emily-
Ooo! That's a cool name for a chapter! They are looking to create (aka 'shape') Porygons! It's a startup so it very much has to do with the future. They don't have all the details sorted out, so all they have is the 'shape' of it. Perfect chapter name! And I see it is from Emily's perspective once more. Well, either of them are fine at this point. They ARE both the protagonists, after all. (presumably unless it's only Emily and the first chapter was weird)

Everything happened so quickly, yet it felt like we’d been living like this for years. Cassandra informed me that she was ready to join the company “because working on Porygon is the chance of a lifetime.” Her landlord was alright with subleasing, and we were lucky that an aspiring gym trainee desperately wanted a place not far from Celadon's gym.
I love how you worked in a tidbit here about a gym trainee. It IS still the Pokemon world we are familiar with even if it is from a very different perspective than the usual.

The only real furniture she had were bookshelves, a desk, and a bed frame. Even with that, it was too much for us to lift on our own, and so we hired the Machoke Moving Company to help us out.
Good choice! And yes, moving sucks.

They made fast work of packing and unloading in the Saffron office. Her new home would be a spare room in the lab, her office/bedroom. Not too different from my own sleeping arrangement.
Well hey, as long as it's four walls and a door, that's good enough to live on. Being able to work on something that feels like it has meaning would easily outweigh the lack of luxury. As long as it isn't run-down, anyway...

Once the Machoke had left, she ripped open the boxes to try to bring order back to this new place. Her books were in complete disarray - we had to pack them so quickly that we couldn’t preserve the meticulous shelf order she’d come up with.
Ooo! Nice detail here. They packed in such a frenzy that they didn't care! I can feel their excitement from here. :mewlulz:

It must have been crazy for her. This was what I had wanted, and yet it was objectively insane. We barely knew each other beyond a shared passion for Porygon and now we lived under the same roof. We needed something to mark this occasion, a ritual - something I had already planned, of course. The mini-fridge in the empty main room was stocked for just this occasion.
It feels like if they suddenly became best friends. I really like seeing stuff like this.

I walked into her office/bedroom, my hands cradling a cool bottle of prosecco. “Hey, think you can take a break? We've worked pretty hard today. We should have a little drink.”

She was trying to figure out where to shelve “Principles of Pokemon Linguistics” and “Magnemite: A Concise Introduction,” her blue eyes scanning the haphazardly stuffed brown bookcase for a meaningful slot.

“Sounds good,” she mumbled. “Just give me a minute, I don’t remember if I put these together under ‘social science’ or if the Magnemite one goes under ‘pop history’...”

I bit my lip. Turned out the whole twitchy neurotic thing wasn’t an act to look like a crazed genius. I suppressed a sigh and said, “c’mon, there’s nothing urgent about getting these books in order. Magnemite can wait until tomorrow, can’t it?”
Aww, Emily just wants to hang out. Things are looking bright for the two of them, at least for now.

She rested her head against her inclined pointer finger, which in turn bent back to a ferocious degree. “You’re right. Magnemite can wait.” She lifted herself off the floor and clapped her hands together. “We should celebrate! I mean, I’m here, I made it!” She laughed nervously. “Quit my job…”
Yeah, that would be both exciting and scary. Probably more scary than exciting at this point...

“And good riddance, I say. You’re wasted as an office worker. One day we are going to be the ones hiring accounts receivable representatives.” I jerked my chin towards an empty corner of the main room. I’d set up some cheese and crackers, the absolute cheapest I could find at Saffron Grocery prices. I wished we could have had a tasteful brie, but bargain bin cheddar would have to do. I twisted the cork off with a napkined hand and watched the topper ricochet against the wall before falling ignominiously to the floor. The froth rose and I quickly tipped a tipple into our two plastic champagne flutes.
She may have to do things on a budget, but stuff like that never stops people from being able to have a good time.

“To NEO-A-LIFE. To Porygon. To the future,” I toasted, and the glasses clinked in union.
Clinked? Probably more like 'tapped' if they are plastic.

“To the future,” said Cassandra, and we both took a sip. It was not very good, but she smiled and said it was tasty. “Hey, come to think of it, do you have Pokemon? I don’t think I’ve met yours.”
Hmm, somehow I expected Cassandra to have a smidge more excitement for seeing Emily's Pokemon. Cassandra enjoys her own Pokemon, so this seems like a special bonding moment between two people who are interacting like good friends. But lets see how the rest of it goes.

“True,” I said, and I walked to my purse and released Clefable from her Love Ball.
I'm equally surprised that Emily seems to be so non-nonchalant about it. Like its a thing to check off on a list or something. Pokemon are special and exciting even if they aren't Porygon, and these are the mon that are close to each of them. Granted, I don't think you want to make it too over the top either. This does seem like a tricky section to balance.

She took form before Cassandra, her green nylon ribbon tied into a bow behind her ear. “This is Clefable, one of my longest Pokemon partners.”
No additional introduction like what makes Clefable special or how they met or anything? (I might be jumping the gun here so, take it with a grain of salt)

“Pleased to meet you,” said Cassandra, who knelt and held out her hand. Clefable extended her paw and the two participated in a fascinating facsimile of a handshake. Cassandra then got up. “Well, you showed me yours, I’ll show you mine.
Interesting wording choice.

I’ve only really got Magnezone. Normally I wouldn’t let him out indoors, but this place is plenty spacious.” Her voice reverberated in the unfurnished room as if to prove a point.

She headed to her room and returned with a Great Ball. She clicked the white button and released Magnezone. She wasn’t wrong - it was a biggun. Clefable's relatively tall, but Magnezone was broad and dense, and its floating in space somehow made it seem to occupy even more vertical space.

“Magnezone, as I told you, this is Emily,” said Cassandra. “We’re going to be working together.” Magnezone rotated its enormous body towards me, staring me down with its three eyes. I rarely felt intimidated in the presence of Pokemon, but this one had the same potency of gaze as Cassandra, and I got the distinct impression that I was being judged.
It does seem like the kind of Pokemon that is good at looming ominously. O2 from Kirby Crystal Shards comes to mind:

1762357402964.png

“Magnezone!” I said, eager to make a good impression. I wondered if the handshake thing was something Cassandra expected Pokemon to receive, and I foolishly held out my own hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Magnezone tilted itself towards me and rotated its enormous magnets near my hand before returning to its original position.

“I’ve had Magnezone since I was a kid,” said Cassandra, walking up to the beast. “He’s honestly like a confidante. He was actually a Magneton for a long time, and we were planning on keeping it that way, but I got to do a field trip to Mt. Coronet once and I told him and he really wanted to go. And how can you say no to a face like that?”
:mewlulz:

I could think of a thousand and one ways to say no to a face like that, but I nodded at this story. I felt something at hearing her call this expressionless creature her confidante. Like calling a potted plant your best friend. Perhaps I was rushing to judge because an unblinking red eye and a pair of pinprick pupils were locked on me constantly and I swore I felt a negative vibe emanating from the Steel-type. Or perhaps the prosecco was hitting. I made a mental note to google “are magnezone good judges of character” before going to sleep.
I'm enjoying Emily's reaction to Magnezone. :mewlulz:

Clefable walked up to Magnezone. “Clefay!” She twirled her finger, eyes glinting.

“I think she wants to battle,” I said.

“Oh,” said Cassandra, “Magnezone isn’t really for battling.”

Mental record scratch. “Pardon?”

“I mean he can. He has. He’s not half bad, if I say so myself. No, I’m just kind of a terrible trainer. I did the whole rigamarole of your Year of Training. I don’t think I have the stuff for it.” She had finished the glass and was halfway through a second one I hadn’t seen her pour. “Look, it’s never really been my dream to become the champion, right? Honestly, the closest thing I had to a dream at that point was to get the hell out of Ecrutreak.”
So interesting to see someone described as being a poor trainer. How often do you really see that in protagonists these days? And protagonists that start weak and get very strong later don't count. Cassandra gives the impression that her becoming a strong trainer is not something that will happen in this fic, and it's a refreshing, bold, and interesting choice!

“Now that, I didn’t expect. You are from Ecruteak?”

She rolled her eyes and took another gulp. “Yeah.”

“But it’s so…”

“Stuffy? Conservative? Backwards? Yeah. Yeah, I know.” She scratched her temples. “I stopped leading with that. If you’re from Ecruteak, everyone expects you to be into legendary Pokemon. ‘Oh, you’re gonna study Suicune? Ho-oh? Gonna meet a legendary?’ Like no, I’m not stuck in the past, shut up!”
Not being focused on legendaries in combination with not trying to be a good trainer is such a unique direction to take things!

I grinned, sipping my prosecco. “Okay, no Ho-oh, but I feel like you could be a kimono girl. You’d look so elegant in a Bellosom print kimono.”

Her expression suggested this line of teasing wasn’t something she was interested in exploring.
Aw, I was hoping to see the expression described a bit more. Yes, I can imagine, but it's more fun when you do it for me.

“I have nothing to do with anything from that town. Nothing but a monument to worshiping the past. We’re here because we want to create the future.”

“Hear, hear!” I said, raising my glass. “I’m from Rustboro. Not as stuffy as your Ecruteak, but it’s hard to escape the shadow of the Stone family. The LeVant family is as successful and yet nobody has ever heard of us.”

“Same line of business?”

“We’re not quite as diversified as they are, but we are trying. Mostly resource extraction. My dad runs it now, and my two older brothers were groomed to take their place in the company.”

“Is your dad a chauvinist or something?”

I laughed. “Not quite. He wanted me to take my place, too, but I didn’t want to just take something he’d made. I wanted to make my own thing. Although when I told them I wanted to start my own company, Larry said, ‘what are you doing, cosmetics?’”
Well, Emily IS into fashion. Clefable even more so.

Cassandra stuck out her tongue.
I'm trying to figure out why Cassandra did this. I'm not getting it.

“And when I said I wanted to do tech, he said, ‘oh, so wearables?’ He’s a piece of work. They knew I’d been obsessed with Porygon since I was a little girl and they couldn’t connect it to this startup.” I shrugged. “I guess I can’t complain too much since they are still funding this.”
Maybe he was messing with you, Emily. It does sound like it would be amusing to do from his perspective...

“I was wondering how you were able to afford all this. I thought maybe you were blowing your life savings on this.”
Wait a minute. Didn't Emily already discuss money in the previous chapter? She already mentioned her dad's company was funding them or whatever.

“I am using a lot of my trust fund,” I admitted. “But my dad liked the gumption to start something of my own and said he’d help. It’s not enough to fund the whole company. But look, Cassandra, if we can get that proof of concept, the first Porygon, and get some investors? We won’t need to rely on him. Well, he is technically an investor and he’s owed a share of profits, but I mean, he won’t be the majority shareholder.”

“He’s majority shareholder? Umm, I’m sorry, I don’t really understand all this… startup language,” she said, embarrassed. I’d forgotten in our tipsy zeal that her background was in academia (and apparently silk kimonos), not business.
Oh! Nice idea! Not all readers would understand this either, so having her dumb things down for Cassandra works really well! In fact, it should work the opposite direction too. Cassandra can dumb science stuff down for Emily if needed too.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “We need to get some helpers to help you in the lab, and then we get our proof of concept, move towards the minimum viable product, and we can start working the fundraising round.”

She nodded along, seemingly ignorant of everything I’d just said.
:mewlulz:

Shes like, 'yeah I'm just here to do science stuff...'

“When did you get into Porygon?” she asked. “I got into it as a teen. Honestly, not too long after meeting Magnemite. I’d made a trip into Goldenrod to their library and I read about the work Silph was doing in the 90s. I gotta say, those guys were visionaries. I think I felt my stomach flip when I read that they made a Pokemon. They made a Pokemon! This wasn’t altering a Pokemon that wasn’t already there, no Mewtwo, no Genesect, this is a Pokemon from scratch, and everyone seems to just… not care?”
Yep, it's pretty weird all things considered.

“Porygon wasn’t exactly a strong battler,” I pointed out.
Yeah, I feel like that was pretty much it. All the excitement died down and even when Porygon-Z came out, there were several other strong mon and plenty of legendaries to steal the spotlight.

“I feel like everything revolves around battle sometimes. Yes, sport is good, we get it, how about like… research? Knowledge? Wisdom?” She reached for the prosecco bottle only to find it empty. “Dangit." I went to the mini-fridge and fetched us two beers. I’d been saving these for Friday wind-down, but I figured as co-founders we should get to know each other. As I walked back into the room, I saw Clefable and Magnezone had settled into a corner, having their own chat. Goodness only knows what they’re saying about us. I shook the thought out of my head and handed the opened bottle to Cassandra.
I like how you use drinking to get them to open up a bit. Kind of like how I do in an early chapter in my fic!

“Thanks,” she said as she took the stout. “To be fair, it’s not just the battle. Silph was really gung-ho on this idea that Porygon was going to take us into space. It’s ambitious, really, but it didn’t work out. They poured all this money into making Porygon2 to go into space, and yet when they collaborated with Mossdeep Space Center, the Pokemon can’t even move in zero-g. Really embarrassing.”

“And you know what incredible, paradigm-busting artificial Pokemon we got after that,” I said, setting up the beat…

“Castform!!” we said in uniform and collapsed laughing.

“Can’t go into space? Why not track the weather?” she giggled.

“Castform - the Pokemon that’s as effective as opening your window and looking at the sky! Only millions of Pokeyen to research!” I add.

“Castform - even worse than Porygon at battling.”
They are RIGHT!

However, I think castform would be best used for farming with Rain Dance. Then again, tons of Pokemon can already learn that move... Yeah... lol

I wiped a tear from my eye. “Castform. Yeesh. You want to know why I love Porygon? Say what you will about version 1, but I saw Porygon2 in battle and I was stunned. I’d never seen such a Pokemon like that before. And Porygon-Z is a machine. I knew we were leaving something on the table by not going further with it. Beautiful, incredible, unique.”

“I’ve never owned one,” admitted Cassandra. “They’re… not easy to get a hold of in Johto.”

“I had one,” I said. “Didn’t work for my team. I did try the whole League thing out. But I couldn’t bear to get rid of it. It’s… gorgeous. I knew it was the shape of the future.”

We stopped on that beat. She didn’t say anything, but I had the feeling that we were on the same wavelength for the first time. We came from opposite backgrounds, but we shared a vision, an obsession, and the audacity to bring it to life.
Yep, this chapter does well at aligning these two on the same goals!

"They poured all this money into making Porygon2 to go into space, and yet when they collaborated with Mossdeep Space Center, the Pokemon can’t even move in zero-g."
A reference to the Pokedex entries such as the following from LeafGreen: "This upgraded version of Porygon is designed for space exploration. However, it can't even fly." My first thought for an organization that had gone to space would be Mossdeep, since they have rocket launches. I like to think Porygon2 got put on a test-flight but disappointed by not being able to move. It didn't die from not needing to breathe, which is good, but I guess they wanted full motion in space.
Yeah, this is a cool way to interpret it. I do interpretation in my fic too. You like to do similar stuff to me. :veelove:

Porygon received no further software updates from Silph, suggesting development on the program was halted. There was an unofficial update from Team Galactic engineers to produce Porygon-Z, but Porygon has seen no official or unofficial work since.

“I stopped leading with that. If you’re from Ecruteak, everyone expects you to be into legendary Pokemon. ‘Oh, you’re gonna study Suicune? Ho-oh? Gonna meet a legendary?’ Like no, I’m not stuck in the past, shut up!”
I am actually a big fan of fics dealing with legendaries, but I thought it would be funny to have Cassandra be sort of ideologically opposed to being into legendaries, especially once associated with Ecruteak. She's just tired of the stereotype 😩
Who isn't into legendaries? But a fic having the guts to actually dismiss them is pretty cool!

No offense to Castform enthusiasts - I love Castform! But I always thought that it was very funny that this Pokemon was created to help with tracking climate, and yet its primary function is changing form based on the weather... which you can do by looking outside. Weather enthusiasts sometimes say if you want to know if it's going to rain soon, you're better served by looking out your window than checking an app. Castform feels a little overengineered in that regard. :P
I feel like Castform was meant to be a progress towards a bigger goal and not the end goal itself. The way it changes form makes it adaptable and likely resistant to the type of environment it is in. But I'm not going to bother trying to theorize about Castform since this fic is about Porygon which should be cooler anyway.

Closing thoughts:
So, Emily is much less predatory in this one. The two feel more like close friends in this and it was nice to see that. The bond here is important to set up more chapters. I had a couple small thoughts on potential improvements, but I really like what I am seeing here. I think the fic will start to get especially interesting starting in the next chapter. That's where the rubber is going to meet the road.

Looking forward to the next chapter! :veelove:
 
Chapter 4: Labwork

Goolix

Junior Trainer
Many thanks to everyone who has commented so far, and I owe you replies!! I've just been quite overwhelmed by things. Fingers crossed things lighten up soon!!

Chapter 4: Labwork
-Cassandra-

I woke up in my new room surrounded by my old things. It’s been three weeks I’ve been living here and I’ve gotten pretty used to it. Just as cramped as the old place. Downright glamorous, really, to have the mini-fridge and the hot plate in a separate room. Everything is just in the wrong place - the books aren’t correctly organized yet, my clothes are all jumbled together in my plastic drawers, and I’m convinced that Machoke mover stole my book on machine learning applications in Pokemon biology.

Emily’s been non-stop the whole time. She sat with me one day and walked me through twenty potential lab assistants we could hire in detail. My head was spinning. I still can’t believe that any of this is real, that she trusts me, that I’m not an “accounts receivable representative” anymore but a co-founder of a startup. A startup with no investors and no product, but soon to have two employees.

There was Antonio, an incredible Saffron U student hailing from Paldea. I was honestly amazed that someone would travel so far to study at Saffron. I felt like I was making a pilgrimage taking the Magnet Train from Goldenrod to Saffron. He had an adorable accent, but he was kind of scary. “I don’t do unpaid internships,” he said when we interviewed him. “How much are you paying?” Still, he knew his stuff on Pokemon physiology and synthetic biology, and he was my number one selection from the pile of candidates.

Then there was Kumiko, another star student from Saffron U. Her specialty was process automation and she doubled as a wunderkind in all things computer. She was the age I was when I was in grad school but twice as accomplished as I was now. She was awkwardly proportioned but seemingly entirely bereft of neuroticism. “I’m happy to contribute to this company!” she said when we extended her an offer letter.

I was supposed to be the superior to two young, accomplished students as a washed up office worker who obsessively posted about Porygon on a blog. Emily trusted me to be the one who could guide these guys. The first day the both of them showed up with their dewy lineless skin, I felt as obsolete as Professor Oak’s Pokedex and that I should immediately take my place in the queue for the trash compactor.

The first day the four of us were together was awkward. Emily looked at me to lead everyone and I felt like a little kid at the foot of disapproving adults. “Okay,” I said, “so, I’ve been looking through the source code that Emily has. My experience is with working with Castform, I worked with Johann, he was kind of the guy who spearheaded the whole Castform project, and Castform was written in a much higher level language than Porygon is, so we’re going to need to crunch through the code before we can think of running it. So Kumiko, I need you to get started on that, and we also need to order, like, the materials for Porygon. Antonio, talk to me and I can tell you what I know from the Porygon white paper, and so, um, yeah.”

They didn’t respect me. I knew they didn’t respect me. We were sitting at this cheap plastic table and Emily was sort of nodding serenely at everything and Antonio was frowning and Kumiko was inscrutable. I stood and clapped my hands, hoping that the whole thing would come to an end there, but there were questions.

“Are we using source control?” asked Kumiko.

“I don’t know about that, should we?” I asked.

“It’s pretty standard to use source control. It lets you keep track of changes, let different people work on different things.”

“Then we should use it.”

“Got it,” she said. “Where are the repos set up?”

“Right now we have a zip file passed between me and Emily.”

“Oh,” said Emily, “I can set that up for us. Don’t you guys worry about that.”

Humiliating that Emily somehow knew about how to set up a repository and I, alleged technical lead, did not, but I took the win. “Have you guys read the white paper on Porygon yet?”

Kumiko said nothing. Antonio said, “I’ve read the abstract.”

I nodded, both exasperated and thrilled there’s an area where I can outdo these kids. “How much do you guys know about Porygon?”

“Porygon2 with Eviolite is surprisingly bulky,” chimed Kumiko.

“That’s… interesting. I mean, what do you know about decompositionality?”

Antonio butted in here: “Porygon’s conscience is wrapped in a data structure that can be moved from an organic substance to the digital world and back. The connectome is preserved in the data structure, allowing for continuity of consciousness.”

“Excellent! This is the thing that makes Porygon trickier than Castform or any of the other artificials. And I’m guessing it’s part of why it’s written in such an obtuse language,” I said. “What materials do we need to order?”

“Nothing especially different from Castform,” said Antonio. “Castform is pretty derivative of Porygon, materially speaking.”

“Bingo. Emily, we need you on this one, we need to find a way to get this stuff affordably.”

“Affordable is certainly the word,” said Emily. “But I want you guys to keep your eyes on the prize. Step one is synthesizing a Porygon. Any Porygon at all. From my understanding, we can’t even run the program as is.”

I worked with Antonio to put together a base list of materials we needed to order. I listed suppliers I remembered using in my lab days and ran it past Emily, who made minor alterations and approved. Kumiko was tasked with figuring out how to even begin running the Porygon program. A few hours of work later, she told me it’s a miracle that Porygon2 was ever made. Porygon’s source code was a nightmare of spaghetti code. “Comment everything,” I told her, “literally everything. If there’s a stop sign, I want you to write ‘this is a stop sign.’ All knowledge must be formalized. I’ve worked in places with ‘tribal knowledge’ and it’s a nightmare to get everyone coordinated."

Without materials or an understanding of the source code, there wasn’t much for Antonio to do, so I ordered him to read not just the white paper, but several other papers that were relevant to understanding Porygon. “You need to know this like the back of your hand,” I said. “Any ideas you have for making the synthesizing process cheaper, write them down.”

And so progressed our first week of real work. The market research Emily and I had done showed we didn’t have any competitors yet, but we didn’t have the luxury of loafing around. LeVant’s pockets were deep, but even a father’s indulgence can run into limits. We didn’t want to find out where those limits were.

The arrival of the materials was a huge coup, and Antonio and I took a few days to get everything set up. We ran a test to make sure everything worked, a typical 'sanity check' in Pokemon synthesis. The first step was to create the base, which looked like a gray blob. If you can do that, you could be confident the machine was working well. We got the blob generated and I felt a small weight lift off my shoulders. “Good job,” I said, trying to remember I was his superior and not his partner.

Kumiko also made some advances in documenting the codebase. She found the specific compiler and drivers we needed to run it and to connect to the tools we had. The challenge then lay in figuring out how to configure the parameters for Porygon to get what we needed. “I’m going to be perfectly clear,” said Kumiko, “I’m still not sure what command I’m supposed to run to even attempt to try to generate a Porygon. There’s five and yet none of them somehow seem to work.” I told her I’d take a look at it as well, but I felt horrified staring at the codebase. It wasn’t a language I was comfortable working with, and everything about it seemed beyond my knowledge. I forced myself through it anyway, adding my own private clarifying comments to her comments on a personal branch of the code. I needed to understand this if we were ever going to actually get this working.

There was no 9-to-5 in the context of a startup. Every waking hour of my day was dedicated to this project. Even when I ate, I was scrolling through some ancient forum posts trying to grok this ancient programming language. The only peace I had was taking Magnezone for a walk every day. He was about the only constant in this world for me.

If he was worried, he didn’t show it. He was as excited as ever every time we went for a walk. One day I passed by Saffron University for old times’ sake, and he paused by the entrance.

“You remember being here, right?” I said. “It was such a challenge because you were way too big for the dorms. Always had to take you out into the quad for some fresh air.”

Magnezone twirled his screws in affirmation. He turned to me and emitted a high-pitched whining noise.

“Do you want to go in?” He nodded. “Alright.” We stepped onto the grounds of Saffron University, the most exciting place I had ever been to in my younger days. It was dusk, but you could still see students lingering and walking here and there. The campus was marvelously compact, with classrooms and labs concentrated in high-rise buildings like everything else in Saffron. Only a few special labs had their own dedicated structures. I didn’t enter any of the buildings, just walked around, remembering the window that sold breathtakingly melty chocolate chip cookies and the green table I’d colonized for outdoor studying. It was a time when it felt like the arc of my life was finally bending upwards.

Magnezone stayed away from the buildings himself - his electromagnetism had unusual effects on machinery that were not welcome by researchers. We’d trained together to tone it down so he could be indoors, but he felt constrained doing so. He was at his happiest hovering freely through three-dimensional space. He even took off without me to fly to the top of the building. “I’m not racing you to the top of the building,” I warned, but I knew he wasn’t listening. I sat down on the old green table and pondered what I was doing with my life.

I quit my job. A very stable job with a predictable paycheck. Sure, it wasn’t my dream, but it fed the dream, working on the “Porygon Revival” blog. Now I had an uncertain future dedicated full-time to Porygon. This should have been everything I ever wanted and yet I’d never felt more like I was standing on the edge of a precipice with one foot in the air.

The impenetrable legacy codebase hung over my thoughts. If Silph ran it once, we could run it again. It was only logical. But somehow the base task of even running it seemed to elude us, and I found myself doubting that we could make a Porygon at all, let alone customize it as Emily planned. Was anyone going to buy this? Had I trashed my life because of my childish need to see the Porygon source code?

I rubbed my forehead. No, bad thoughts, time to stop. I got up and paced around the empty space, waiting for Magnezone to come back. We were going to figure it out. Kumiko’s smart. I’m stubborn. And - wait, I’m smart too, what am I saying? Why did Antonio and Kumiko make me feel like an absolute idiot?

The sky was turning indigo. I shouted, “hey, it’s getting late, can we head back?” Magnezone didn't seem to hear me. I waved my arms and that seemed to get his attention. “Glad you enjoyed your flight. Let’s head back. The stupid code won’t understand itself.”

My phone buzzed. I pulled it out to see I had a text from Kumiko: “come back i think i got it figured out!!!!” My heart accelerated. “OMW BACK,” I replied, and I told Magnezone we needed to high-tail it back to the lab.

I arrived with my hair completely disheveled and out of breath, Magnezone safely withdrawn in his ball. “What’s the news?” I said, trying to look like I hadn’t literally jogged to get here.

“Kumiko says she’s pretty sure she knows what to do, but she needs you and Antonio to make sure it’s safe to run,” said Emily. She was also trying to look calm, but her voice carried an earnest hopefulness in it.

Kumiko explained the command we needed to run and confirmed that there was interoperability between our machines and the program. I told Antonio to prep the materials for Porygon synthesis. When he returned, I took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth.

“Run it.”

She pressed the enter key and the command began to run. The synthesis machine hummed, and I saw its screen display a primitive message: “CURPROJ: PRGN. 0%.” The glass tube in the middle filled with liquid, and the machine’s centrifuge began to rotate. The safety shield lowered, and we were left waiting in anticipation as the materials flowed into the glass container. It would take an hour for it to finish, yet none of us could take our eyes off it.

At the halfway point, the project suddenly aborted. The machine ground to a slow halt, and the safety shield lifted to reveal that the materials had failed to cohere into the blob required for sculpting. The screen displayed a cryptic message: “ERR 1047: EXPECTED PN LOAD.”

"EXPECTED PN LOAD" is loosely inspired by "PC LOAD LETTER", a cryptic error message you'd get from certain printers in the 90s. This impenetrable message was made legendary in the movie "Officespace."

Yeah, the lab work happens a lot quicker than it probably would in a real lab and with a lot fewer people, but I like to think the Pokemon world has progressed to the point that very small teams can do what previously would have been highly intense cutting edge science. :)
 

Tango

Mascot of the Doduo Alliance
Location
beyond the Nexus
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. doduo
Many thanks to everyone who has commented so far, and I owe you replies!! I've just been quite overwhelmed by things. Fingers crossed things lighten up soon!!
It can definitely be easy for life to get in the way. I look forward to replies when you can.

Chapter 4: Labwork
Pretty straightforward chapter title.

By the way, I appreciate how you keep the chapter lengths short. 10k chapters can be a bit much to handle and I retroactively feel bad for feeling proud of ever having chapters that long... 😅 Don't worry though, max chapter length in my Book One is only 5k.

-Cassandra-
Nifty, we get Cassandra's POV again. I enjoy both POVs. I'd say this cements both of them as the collective protagonists.

I woke up in my new room surrounded by my old things. It’s been three weeks I’ve been living here and I’ve gotten pretty used to it. Just as cramped as the old place. Downright glamorous, really, to have the mini-fridge and the hot plate in a separate room.
Glad to see a nod to the new living arrangements. We, the readers pretty much moved with her and are here every step of the way!

Everything is just in the wrong place - the books aren’t correctly organized yet, my clothes are all jumbled together in my plastic drawers, and I’m convinced that Machoke mover stole my book on machine learning applications in Pokemon biology.
Riiight because I'm sure Machokes just love to read technical stuff like that! :mewlulz: (Assuming they can even read? I'm really not sure about that...)

Emily’s been non-stop the whole time. She sat with me one day and walked me through twenty potential lab assistants we could hire in detail. My head was spinning. I still can’t believe that any of this is real, that she trusts me, that I’m not an “accounts receivable representative” anymore but a co-founder of a startup. A startup with no investors and no product, but soon to have two employees.
Yep, it would be exciting. Good detail.

There was Antonio, an incredible Saffron U student hailing from Paldea. I was honestly amazed that someone would travel so far to study at Saffron. I felt like I was making a pilgrimage taking the Magnet Train from Goldenrod to Saffron. He had an adorable accent, but he was kind of scary. “I don’t do unpaid internships,” he said when we interviewed him. “How much are you paying?” Still, he knew his stuff on Pokemon physiology and synthetic biology, and he was my number one selection from the pile of candidates.
I love getting descriptions of the other employees filtered from Cassandra's perspective!

Then there was Kumiko, another star student from Saffron U. Her specialty was process automation and she doubled as a wunderkind in all things computer.
Hmmm! An IT specialist, perhaps?

She was the age I was when I was in grad school but twice as accomplished as I was now.
Oof. That has to sting... :sadwott:

She was awkwardly proportioned but seemingly entirely bereft of neuroticism. “I’m happy to contribute to this company!” she said when we extended her an offer letter.
Awkwardly proportioned? This potentially says a lot without actually saying anything. I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. But I'm not sure if describing it helps because then Cassandra is paying super close attention to her appearance. Then again, if her appearance is jarring enough for Cassandra to notice, maybe more detail is still justified?

Emily seems to be the one who cares lots about appearance from what the narrative established so far. If anything, Cassandra seemed more blind to it, thus far, but I suppose that could have just been because she was running late. Actually, for chapter 3, if there is anything about Cassandra's appearance that changed vs Emily's first encounter with her, it might be worth noting. Otherwise the readers might assume Cassandra always looks a bit disheveled.

I was supposed to be the superior to two young, accomplished students as a washed up office worker who obsessively posted about Porygon on a blog.
Somehow I get the feeling most new managers don't 'deserve' their position. But it's a nice detail to see Cassandra has understandable doubt.

Emily trusted me to be the one who could guide these guys. The first day the both of them showed up with their dewy lineless skin,
dewy lineless skin? Whaaat? I don't know what this means but I'm imagining they both came to work completely shaved and oiled and that the only thing about them Cassandra can focus on is their skin. 😅

I googled it "complexion that is smooth, plump, well-hydrated, and radiant, with minimal visible fine lines and wrinkles. It signifies healthy, youthful skin that reflects light evenly and has an overall luminous, fresh appearance."

Ok, fine.

But I I'm not sure how many readers will take that away from it without googling it. Technically there is nothing wrong with it as it is, but I'll leave you to decide if you want to make any changes there.

I felt as obsolete as Professor Oak’s Pokedex and that I should immediately take my place in the queue for the trash compactor.
Aw... Cassandra compares herself to others often. She is envious of their youth and probably feels like she wasted her life thus far... Poor Cassandra.

Ok, maybe she IS preoccupied with their skin but only because she feel old? 🤔

Ok, now I have to ask, how old is Cassandra? And How old is Emily? I was imagining them both to be 28, but I'm confused now. I can't remember if you indicated it earlier in the fic. Also, did you ever disclose what the year in the fic it currently is? How long ago was their 90s? (Apologies if you already mentioned these things. If you did, I must have already forgot... ☹️)

The first day the four of us were together was awkward. Emily looked at me to lead everyone and I felt like a little kid at the foot of disapproving adults.
Aw.. She feels like a bug under a microscope. Hopefully it will get better the more she talks. It's time to NERD OUT, Cassandra! :letsgorb:

“Okay,” I said, “so, I’ve been looking through the source code that Emily has. My experience is with working with Castform, I worked with Johann, he was kind of the guy who spearheaded the whole Castform project, and Castform was written in a much higher level language than Porygon is, so we’re going to need to crunch through the code before we can think of running it.
I don't know much about programming, but this looks like it makes sense.

So Kumiko, I need you to get started on that, and we also need to order, like, the materials for Porygon. Antonio, talk to me and I can tell you what I know from the Porygon white paper, and so, um, yeah.”

They didn’t respect me. I knew they didn’t respect me. We were sitting at this cheap plastic table and Emily was sort of nodding serenely at everything and Antonio was frowning and Kumiko was inscrutable. I stood and clapped my hands, hoping that the whole thing would come to an end there, but there were questions.
It's good you built some conflict into it this way. You can really feel the tension!

“Are we using source control?” asked Kumiko.

“I don’t know about that, should we?” I asked.

“It’s pretty standard to use source control. It lets you keep track of changes, let different people work on different things.”

“Then we should use it.”

“Got it,” she said. “Where are the repos set up?”

“Right now we have a zip file passed between me and Emily.”

“Oh,” said Emily, “I can set that up for us. Don’t you guys worry about that.”

Humiliating that Emily somehow knew about how to set up a repository and I, alleged technical lead, did not, but I took the win. “Have you guys read the white paper on Porygon yet?”

Kumiko said nothing. Antonio said, “I’ve read the abstract.”

I nodded, both exasperated and thrilled there’s an area where I can outdo these kids. “How much do you guys know about Porygon?”
Poor Cassandra will take anything she can get here. 🥺

“Porygon2 with Eviolite is surprisingly bulky,” chimed Kumiko.

“That’s… interesting. I mean, what do you know about decompositionality?”

Antonio butted in here: “Porygon’s conscience is wrapped in a data structure that can be moved from an organic substance to the digital world and back. The connectome is preserved in the data structure, allowing for continuity of consciousness.”
Ooo that sounds cool!

“Excellent! This is the thing that makes Porygon trickier than Castform or any of the other artificials. And I’m guessing it’s part of why it’s written in such an obtuse language,” I said. “What materials do we need to order?”

“Nothing especially different from Castform,” said Antonio. “Castform is pretty derivative of Porygon, materially speaking.”
Neat! It also describes what they need without you having to go into lots of specific detail!

“Bingo. Emily, we need you on this one, we need to find a way to get this stuff affordably.”

“Affordable is certainly the word,” said Emily. “But I want you guys to keep your eyes on the prize. Step one is synthesizing a Porygon. Any Porygon at all. From my understanding, we can’t even run the program as is.”

I worked with Antonio to put together a base list of materials we needed to order. I listed suppliers I remembered using in my lab days and ran it past Emily, who made minor alterations and approved. Kumiko was tasked with figuring out how to even begin running the Porygon program. A few hours of work later, she told me it’s a miracle that Porygon2 was ever made. Porygon’s source code was a nightmare of spaghetti code. “Comment everything,” I told her, “literally everything. If there’s a stop sign, I want you to write ‘this is a stop sign.’ All knowledge must be formalized. I’ve worked in places with ‘tribal knowledge’ and it’s a nightmare to get everyone coordinated."
Sounds like you probably had to do some research to come up with this bit. If it's nonsense, I can't tell at all and your readers likely won't either. Good job!

Without materials or an understanding of the source code, there wasn’t much for Antonio to do, so I ordered him to read not just the white paper, but several other papers that were relevant to understanding Porygon. “You need to know this like the back of your hand,” I said. “Any ideas you have for making the synthesizing process cheaper, write them down.”
I like how you were able to give everyone clear roles in how they work.

And so progressed our first week of real work. The market research Emily and I had done showed we didn’t have any competitors yet, but we didn’t have the luxury of loafing around. LeVant’s pockets were deep, but even a father’s indulgence can run into limits. We didn’t want to find out where those limits were.
An understandable concern.

The arrival of the materials was a huge coup, and Antonio and I took a few days to get everything set up. We ran a test to make sure everything worked, a typical 'sanity check' in Pokemon synthesis. The first step was to create the base, which looked like a gray blob. If you can do that, you could be confident the machine was working well. We got the blob generated and I felt a small weight lift off my shoulders. “Good job,” I said, trying to remember I was his superior and not his partner.
Again, it's good how you write from her insecure new manager perspective. You do well at establishing her perspective and sticking to it.

Kumiko also made some advances in documenting the codebase. She found the specific compiler and drivers we needed to run it and to connect to the tools we had. The challenge then lay in figuring out how to configure the parameters for Porygon to get what we needed. “I’m going to be perfectly clear,” said Kumiko, “I’m still not sure what command I’m supposed to run to even attempt to try to generate a Porygon. There’s five and yet none of them somehow seem to work.” I told her I’d take a look at it as well, but I felt horrified staring at the codebase. It wasn’t a language I was comfortable working with, and everything about it seemed beyond my knowledge. I forced myself through it anyway, adding my own private clarifying comments to her comments on a personal branch of the code. I needed to understand this if we were ever going to actually get this working.
Great job with all the technical jargon.

And, yeah. This would be pretty daunting.

There was no 9-to-5 in the context of a startup. Every waking hour of my day was dedicated to this project. Even when I ate, I was scrolling through some ancient forum posts trying to grok this ancient programming language. The only peace I had was taking Magnezone for a walk every day. He was about the only constant in this world for me.
That makes sense. It's a very sink or swim kind of situation.

If he was worried, he didn’t show it. He was as excited as ever every time we went for a walk. One day I passed by Saffron University for old times’ sake, and he paused by the entrance.

“You remember being here, right?” I said. “It was such a challenge because you were way too big for the dorms. Always had to take you out into the quad for some fresh air.”

Magnezone twirled his screws in affirmation. He turned to me and emitted a high-pitched whining noise.
Aw, Magnezone is feeling nostalgic!

“Do you want to go in?” He nodded. “Alright.” We stepped onto the grounds of Saffron University, the most exciting place I had ever been to in my younger days. It was dusk, but you could still see students lingering and walking here and there. The campus was marvelously compact, with classrooms and labs concentrated in high-rise buildings like everything else in Saffron. Only a few special labs had their own dedicated structures. I didn’t enter any of the buildings, just walked around, remembering the window that sold breathtakingly melty chocolate chip cookies and the green table I’d colonized for outdoor studying. It was a time when it felt like the arc of my life was finally bending upwards.
It's enjoyable to see her expand on her past and reminisce. I especially like how she 'colonized' the table! :mewlulz:

Magnezone stayed away from the buildings himself - his electromagnetism had unusual effects on machinery that were not welcome by researchers. We’d trained together to tone it down so he could be indoors, but he felt constrained doing so. He was at his happiest hovering freely through three-dimensional space. He even took off without me to fly to the top of the building. “I’m not racing you to the top of the building,” I warned, but I knew he wasn’t listening. I sat down on the old green table and pondered what I was doing with my life.
I think you mean 'sat down at', not 'on'. Unless she is sitting on the table instead of a chair at it.

But, looks like we are about to get some introspection time! Neat!

I quit my job. A very stable job with a predictable paycheck. Sure, it wasn’t my dream, but it fed the dream, working on the “Porygon Revival” blog. Now I had an uncertain future dedicated full-time to Porygon. This should have been everything I ever wanted and yet I’d never felt more like I was standing on the edge of a precipice with one foot in the air.
The dread... Because what if it fails? This feels like a completely realistic thing for her to do here.

The impenetrable legacy codebase hung over my thoughts. If Silph ran it once, we could run it again. It was only logical. But somehow the base task of even running it seemed to elude us, and I found myself doubting that we could make a Porygon at all, let alone customize it as Emily planned. Was anyone going to buy this? Had I trashed my life because of my childish need to see the Porygon source code?
Such an incredible amount of pressure. She isn't doing so well mentally right now from it. But all she can do now is push forward with everything she has. It's do or die.

I rubbed my forehead. No, bad thoughts, time to stop. I got up and paced around the empty space, waiting for Magnezone to come back. We were going to figure it out. Kumiko’s smart. I’m stubborn. And - wait, I’m smart too, what am I saying? Why did Antonio and Kumiko make me feel like an absolute idiot?
That's good that she is able to snap herself out of it. She can't afford to waver here.

The sky was turning indigo. I shouted, “hey, it’s getting late, can we head back?” Magnezone didn't seem to hear me. I waved my arms and that seemed to get his attention. “Glad you enjoyed your flight. Let’s head back. The stupid code won’t understand itself.”

My phone buzzed. I pulled it out to see I had a text from Kumiko: “come back i think i got it figured out!!!!” My heart accelerated. “OMW BACK,” I replied, and I told Magnezone we needed to high-tail it back to the lab.
Oh SNAP! :wowzard:

I arrived with my hair completely disheveled and out of breath, Magnezone safely withdrawn in his ball. “What’s the news?” I said, trying to look like I hadn’t literally jogged to get here.
Yep, don't want to look out of shape in front of the employees.

“Kumiko says she’s pretty sure she knows what to do, but she needs you and Antonio to make sure it’s safe to run,” said Emily. She was also trying to look calm, but her voice carried an earnest hopefulness in it.

Kumiko explained the command we needed to run and confirmed that there was interoperability between our machines and the program. I told Antonio to prep the materials for Porygon synthesis. When he returned, I took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth.

“Run it.”

She pressed the enter key and the command began to run. The synthesis machine hummed, and I saw its screen display a primitive message: “CURPROJ: PRGN. 0%.” The glass tube in the middle filled with liquid, and the machine’s centrifuge began to rotate. The safety shield lowered, and we were left waiting in anticipation as the materials flowed into the glass container. It would take an hour for it to finish, yet none of us could take our eyes off it.
Yeah, I'll bet not! And great job again describing the different bits and how the machine is working!

At the halfway point, the project suddenly aborted. The machine ground to a slow halt, and the safety shield lifted to reveal that the materials had failed to cohere into the blob required for sculpting. The screen displayed a cryptic message: “ERR 1047: EXPECTED PN LOAD.”
Yep, not quite that easy, it seems. It's more interesting this way, though.

"EXPECTED PN LOAD" is loosely inspired by "PC LOAD LETTER", a cryptic error message you'd get from certain printers in the 90s. This impenetrable message was made legendary in the movie "Officespace."
Neat!

Yeah, the lab work happens a lot quicker than it probably would in a real lab and with a lot fewer people, but I like to think the Pokemon world has progressed to the point that very small teams can do what previously would have been highly intense cutting edge science. :)
Sure, makes sense to me!


Closing thoughts:
So, wow! You put a ton of thought and effort into this chapter. It really shows in the detailed descriptions of the process they are going through. Pretty much everything had a point as well. Over all a very good chapter! I'm looking forward to reviewing the next chapter when you release it! :veelove:
 
Chapter 5: EXPECTED PN LOAD New

Goolix

Junior Trainer
Chapter 5: EXPECTED PN LOAD
-Emily-

“What the hell is PN LOAD?”

Cassandra ran her hands through her hair staring at the display. Kumiko blinked and pawed at her eyes as if to make sure she was seeing what we all were. Antonio and I exchanged wary looks at our tech leads being dumbfounded.

We ran further tests, but got no closer to understanding what PN LOAD was or how it was expected. Cassandra and Antonio had reviewed the reagents, running another basic check to make sure that they weren’t the source of the problem, and were able to get a gray blob to form. That was good news, in a way, because it would have been more wasted time to get new reagents. It was bad news because it meant the problem lay in the labyrinthine scripts Silph had left for us.

This possibility seemed to frighten Cassandra. She told me she had no idea what to do if the error was in the code. I told her that’s why we hired Kumiko. This did not seem to make her any happier.

In fact, about any time I mentioned Kumiko solving something, she curled her lip a little. I thought she was regretting hiring her for some failure of skill. But the dark expression on her face as she watched Kumiko working on the codebase told me it was the opposite issue. Kumiko threatened her.

It was yet another issue to add to my endless list of issues, and not something I could resolve. I went to what passed for our kitchen - a minifridge, a microwave, and a coffee maker - to pour myself a cup of coffee. It was not a good sign that the cofounder of the company was envious of one of our employees. I took my sage green mug out with a Sprigatito on it and decided more was more when pouring. This was a maximum black coffee situation.

In any case, there was no point hanging around them while they got things worked out. Antonio was checking the machines, making sure that everything was ship-shape. I headed to my office to finish up the updates I had made to the website. I felt like we were moving forward when our ‘About’ page went from having my lone headshot to including three more. I’d squeezed out some words for the company’s blog, which I figured we could justify now that we were actually working. Once that was ready, I opened the master document with the steps we needed to take.

It was frustrating to stare at the bolded, unfinished first step: synthesize a Porygon. I couldn’t even really start asking for funding until we got to the step after that, to customize a Porygon. I’d compiled a list of leads to investigate, potential clients to scope out, but without a working model, it was all in vain. Was I supposed to cold-call a Pokemon Rescue operation with the pitch that we had half a Porygon and if they paid us, maybe in a few months we’d have a regular one? All the same, we needed to be prepared for when we crossed that line to move fast. I wrote down every industry I think could conceivably benefit from custom Porygon and looked up names from the Saffron-Celadon metro area. I paused and then added Goldenrod; with the Magnet Train, we were only a few hours away, and it would do us good to expand our reach.

The fun part of imagining pitching to gyms was over. It was time to face the costs. I flipped to the spreadsheet application. We had a rough estimate for how much it would cost to make Porygon from Cassandra’s estimates and known costs for other artificial Pokemon, and we sliced them down a little by using the cheapest reagents we could, but it was still hefty. We’d need a hell of a markup to make it worth our while to do this, at which point any competitive advantage we had over bred Pokemon would be moot. I added new points to the master doc: “investigate efficiencies of scale; make testing Porygon r&d cheaper?”

I sighed. I peeked out from the doorway to look at the main floor. Cassandra was at her station, also looking through the code. She didn’t seem at all bewildered to me, but I suspected she was more lost than she seemed. She hadn’t even bothered with a ponytail today and her hair seemed barely detangled. I decided to try to do some team management and check up on her.

“How’s work going?” I asked, trying to keep it casual and non-judgmental. She startled and turned to me.

“Please don’t come at me from behind,” she said, trying to collect herself. “And I’m kind of in the zone, so I could do without the interruptions.”

The defensiveness was evident. She was not doing great, and she wasn’t going to tell me unless I drew it out of her. I smiled. “Got it, you’re figuring it out, love to hear it!”

“I mean…” She paused, as I hoped she might. “It’s…” She shot a glance at Kumiko, who was listening to some kind of upbeat dance music on her headphones as her fingers traveled across the keyboard. “We’ve made some progress. Kumiko has tested a ton of potential variations and even found a new error.”

“A new error,” I repeated, unsure how this was good news.

“Error 1002: SET N NOT IN RANGE. She’s pretty sure that means that some of the parameters we passed in are not acceptable by the program. She’s working on a theory that we’re not passing in some flag we need at the correct value. Figuring out what it is has proven to be a lot harder than we thought. We can’t just brute force our way through every possible value without wasting a lot of money synthesizing, so we’re dividing the reasonable value space into chunks and checking those.”

“Sounds like you’ve got a plan,” I said. “Good job.”

She didn’t seem reassured by this and turned back to her work. I wanted to sigh. How the hell do you pump the self-esteem of a renegade academic? When I returned to my desk I found I’d been nibbling on the skin of my knuckles again, and wiped the spit off. One of my bad old habits that dad always told me made me look nervous.

What would he do in a situation like this? I’d only ever known him as a successful corporate head. It’s not that I didn’t see the insecurities and worries he faced as president; those were constant. What I didn’t have access to was him in the beginning, when he was figuring everything out. I wanted to call him and ask how he’d handle this. I wouldn’t. It would undercut what I was doing to have to beg him for advice all the time.

The rest of the day passed with no better news on Porygon. By the time it was 7, Kumiko and Antonio were looking pretty ragged and I told them to head on out. Cassandra was looking a little rough, too, but she refused when I told her to head to bed.

“I’m going to keep poking at this. There’s got to be a solution we haven’t thought of yet.”

You mean Kumiko hasn’t thought of yet? I didn’t want to provoke her, not when she was clearly feeling insecure; she just made it too easy.

“Knock yourself out,” I said, “it’ll still be there in the morning.” I sighed. “Well, I want to polish up the pitch deck before heading home. I can order us some takeout.”

She stopped typing for a second. “Actually, that might not be so bad.”

I ordered us noodles and chicken, and thirty minutes later we sat cross legged in the “kitchen,” forking lo mein from a styrofoam container into our mouths.

“This is good stuff,” I said. “But I’m gonna be a little crazy and say food is better in Celadon.”

“Yeah,” she said, “if you can afford it. I survived working in Celadon on ramen, microwavable broccoli, and frozen shrimp.”

“That sounds luxurious. A splash of sriracha and you could open up a new fusion place in Celadon.”

She forced a smile, but her eyes were focused on the food. “You’re from Hoenn, aren’t you? What’s it like?”

I shrugged. “Honestly, one place is like another. Rustboro’s a nice place to grow up in. It’s not Mauville, but I think one day we’ll overtake them.”

We passed our dinner in pointless small talk, trading back and forth observations on Hoenn and Johto and what we both thought was good about Kanto (sense of vitality) and bad (uninspiring radio shows). She seemed curious about my upbringing as a daughter of the LeVant corporation, but was tight-lipped about her own Ecruteak background (she left it at a tantalizing “family stuff”).

She threw away her styrofoam container and headed back to her desk, not at all deterred by the forced break. I sighed for real this time and disposed of my own food in the short black garbage can. Pitch decks didn’t write themselves. When I returned to my own office-bedroom at 9, she was still there, spine curved, face illuminated by the blue glow of her monitor. I don’t think she heard me when I told her good night.

Cassandra’s foray was in vain. We regrouped next morning with nothing advancing but Cass’s undereye circles. Three days were spent on this routine. Three days of having Antonio show up doing nothing but occasionally prepping the reagents for a test run. I could feel the money burning like a sore on my lip.

And then on the fourth morning, Kumiko shows up with a frenzied look in her eyes.

“Guys. Guys. EXPECTED PN LOAD. See, I thought PN was short for Porygon, and we weren’t properly initializing Porygon, but we’d gotten it all wrong. PN is short for Parameters (Normalized). Stupid naming convention but what do we expect from the dinosaurs at Silph? We weren’t passing in the parameters with the correct normalization. That’s why we also ran into SET N NOT IN RANGE - that’s when our parameters weren’t in a remotely acceptable range. I know what we need to do.”

I’d never seen her so animated. I felt she must have had an extra strong brew of the morning coffee. I wanted to find hope in her brown eyes and I wanted to give this team something to hold on to. “What do you say, Cassandra? Let’s give it a shot.”

My cofounder’s arms were crossed high on her chest. “I suppose we can try Kumiko’s idea,” she said dryly. Kumiko immediately slinked into her chair and began pulling up some documents.

“Okay, can you guys do that test prep thing you do?”

Cassandra and Antonio slipped into lab attire and prepared the synthesis machine. I felt like a useless bystander watching them. Kumiko watched attentively, her fingers curled over the enter button.

“Ready,” said Antonio curtly.

Kumiko nodded and ran the command. The machine began its work again, the great centrifuge rotating. The substrate materials were injected into the glass tube, and we watched with anticipation. Cassandra and Antonio didn’t seem so hopeful, as Cassandra watched with bitten lip and Antonio occasionally pulled out his phone to check some news. We got to the fateful halfway mark and I felt my heart in my throat waiting to see if that dreaded error came. The number climbed: 55%, 56, 57, 58, until we broke the 60 mark.

The safety shield prevented us from being able to see clearly, but you could get a picture of what was going on. The substrate had taken on a colored pink and blue hue, differentiating into a bilaterally symmetrical body. My throat ran dry.

“I’m going to get water,” I said, and I ducked to the minifridge to pour myself some water. I didn’t want to look when it failed. When I’d finished my drink, I fiddled with the coffee maker, pouring the remaining coffee and dregs into my Sprigatito mug. The hum of the machine called me, though, and I knew I had to watch.

I brought my horrid concoction with me to see the rest of the development. We were in the 90s. The machine was running hot. I didn’t even look at the glass tube, focusing my eyes on the digit counter. 90. 92. 93. 95.

I made eye contact with Cassandra.

97.
98.
99.
100%.

The centrifuge began to slow down. The display screen read “COMPLETE.” I searched Cassandra’s face to see if there was something wrong I should know about, but her expression was genuinely clear and open.

“It worked,” she said.

When the centrifuge came to a stop, the safety shield retracted. We saw it clear as day in the tube: our first synthesized Porygon.

“Arceus alive,” whispered Antonio. “We did it.”

“We made a Porygon,” said Cassandra.

And the breakthrough was Kumiko’s.
 

Tango

Mascot of the Doduo Alliance
Location
beyond the Nexus
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. doduo
Chapter 5: EXPECTED PN LOAD
-Emily-
So, you posted a new chapter a few minutes ago? Well I'm going to be the first to review it! 😎

Ok so this already seems like its gearing up to be a humorous chapter. I love me some good humor! :eyes:

“What the hell is PN LOAD?”
The stuff nightmares are made of. :copyka:

Cassandra ran her hands through her hair staring at the display. Kumiko blinked and pawed at her eyes as if to make sure she was seeing what we all were. Antonio and I exchanged wary looks at our tech leads being dumbfounded.
Awwwwkwaaaaaard :unquag:

We ran further tests, but got no closer to understanding what PN LOAD was or how it was expected.
:mewlulz:

Cassandra and Antonio had reviewed the reagents, running another basic check to make sure that they weren’t the source of the problem, and were able to get a gray blob to form. That was good news, in a way, because it would have been more wasted time to get new reagents. It was bad news because it meant the problem lay in the labyrinthine scripts Silph had left for us.
Or so you assume.

This possibility seemed to frighten Cassandra. She told me she had no idea what to do if the error was in the code. I told her that’s why we hired Kumiko. This did not seem to make her any happier.

In fact, about any time I mentioned Kumiko solving something, she curled her lip a little. I thought she was regretting hiring her for some failure of skill. But the dark expression on her face as she watched Kumiko working on the codebase told me it was the opposite issue. Kumiko threatened her.
Poor Cassandra... I hope she doesn't end up getting demoted or something. That would be hard to watch.

Emily is scary observant. :copyka:

It was yet another issue to add to my endless list of issues, and not something I could resolve. I went to what passed for our kitchen - a minifridge, a microwave, and a coffee maker - to pour myself a cup of coffee. It was not a good sign that the cofounder of the company was envious of one of our employees.
Eeep. And here I thought Emily was getting away from the judgemental side of things. But I suppose she isn't completely describing her thought process here. She didn't say why she thinks it's not a good sign, so I'm not totally sure what to think here of Emily's reaction...

I took my sage green mug out with a Sprigatito on it and decided more was more when pouring. This was a maximum black coffee situation.
Oh boy. If she usually drinks her coffee with cream then drinking it black says a whole lot! :copyka:

In any case, there was no point hanging around them while they got things worked out. Antonio was checking the machines, making sure that everything was ship-shape. I headed to my office to finish up the updates I had made to the website. I felt like we were moving forward when our ‘About’ page went from having my lone headshot to including three more. I’d squeezed out some words for the company’s blog, which I figured we could justify now that we were actually working. Once that was ready, I opened the master document with the steps we needed to take.

It was frustrating to stare at the bolded, unfinished first step: synthesize a Porygon. I couldn’t even really start asking for funding until we got to the step after that, to customize a Porygon. I’d compiled a list of leads to investigate, potential clients to scope out, but without a working model, it was all in vain. Was I supposed to cold-call a Pokemon Rescue operation with the pitch that we had half a Porygon and if they paid us, maybe in a few months we’d have a regular one? All the same, we needed to be prepared for when we crossed that line to move fast. I wrote down every industry I think could conceivably benefit from custom Porygon and looked up names from the Saffron-Celadon metro area. I paused and then added Goldenrod; with the Magnet Train, we were only a few hours away, and it would do us good to expand our reach.

The fun part of imagining pitching to gyms was over. It was time to face the costs. I flipped to the spreadsheet application. We had a rough estimate for how much it would cost to make Porygon from Cassandra’s estimates and known costs for other artificial Pokemon, and we sliced them down a little by using the cheapest reagents we could, but it was still hefty. We’d need a hell of a markup to make it worth our while to do this, at which point any competitive advantage we had over bred Pokemon would be moot. I added new points to the master doc: “investigate efficiencies of scale; make testing Porygon r&d cheaper?”
I like how this fic takes us each step of the way through the process of this start up. Really builds on itself.

I sighed. I peeked out from the doorway to look at the main floor. Cassandra was at her station, also looking through the code. She didn’t seem at all bewildered to me, but I suspected she was more lost than she seemed. She hadn’t even bothered with a ponytail today and her hair seemed barely detangled. I decided to try to do some team management and check up on her.

“How’s work going?” I asked, trying to keep it casual and non-judgmental. She startled and turned to me.

“Please don’t come at me from behind,” she said, trying to collect herself. “And I’m kind of in the zone, so I could do without the interruptions.”
Cassandra reminds me of me a bit. I get testy when someone startles me when I'm deep in thought, especially if it causes me to make a mess or a mistake in something. (That only happens in person, though)

The defensiveness was evident. She was not doing great, and she wasn’t going to tell me unless I drew it out of her. I smiled. “Got it, you’re figuring it out, love to hear it!”

“I mean…” She paused, as I hoped she might. “It’s…” She shot a glance at Kumiko, who was listening to some kind of upbeat dance music on her headphones as her fingers traveled across the keyboard. “We’ve made some progress. Kumiko has tested a ton of potential variations and even found a new error.”

“A new error,” I repeated, unsure how this was good news.
Well yeah. It's good news. You need the errors gone! You can't fix them if you can't find them!

“Error 1002: SET N NOT IN RANGE. She’s pretty sure that means that some of the parameters we passed in are not acceptable by the program. She’s working on a theory that we’re not passing in some flag we need at the correct value. Figuring out what it is has proven to be a lot harder than we thought. We can’t just brute force our way through every possible value without wasting a lot of money synthesizing, so we’re dividing the reasonable value space into chunks and checking those.”

“Sounds like you’ve got a plan,” I said. “Good job.”

She didn’t seem reassured by this and turned back to her work. I wanted to sigh. How the hell do you pump the self-esteem of a renegade academic?
Probably by offering to give them whatever they need to help them fix the problem they are working on and by continuing to be positive. But yeah... it's probably not very easy lol...

When I returned to my desk I found I’d been nibbling on the skin of my knuckles again, and wiped the spit off. One of my bad old habits that dad always told me made me look nervous.

What would he do in a situation like this? I’d only ever known him as a successful corporate head. It’s not that I didn’t see the insecurities and worries he faced as president; those were constant. What I didn’t have access to was him in the beginning, when he was figuring everything out. I wanted to call him and ask how he’d handle this. I wouldn’t. It would undercut what I was doing to have to beg him for advice all the time.
Maybe so, but if it gets you out of a jam that you can't afford to stay in, then maybe it's worth it? I get it though. You don't want to over rely on it because then it might stunt your growth.

The rest of the day passed with no better news on Porygon. By the time it was 7, Kumiko and Antonio were looking pretty ragged and I told them to head on out. Cassandra was looking a little rough, too, but she refused when I told her to head to bed.

“I’m going to keep poking at this. There’s got to be a solution we haven’t thought of yet.”

You mean Kumiko hasn’t thought of yet?
Yikes that would be so mean! :copyka:

I didn’t want to provoke her, not when she was clearly feeling insecure; she just made it too easy.
Something tells me one would not want to get on Emily's bad side...

“Knock yourself out,” I said, “it’ll still be there in the morning.” I sighed. “Well, I want to polish up the pitch deck before heading home. I can order us some takeout.”

She stopped typing for a second. “Actually, that might not be so bad.”

I ordered us noodles and chicken, and thirty minutes later we sat cross legged in the “kitchen,” forking lo mein from a styrofoam container into our mouths.
Dangit. You're making me hungry for some Chinese food! :unquag:

“This is good stuff,” I said. “But I’m gonna be a little crazy and say food is better in Celadon.”

“Yeah,” she said, “if you can afford it. I survived working in Celadon on ramen, microwavable broccoli, and frozen shrimp.”

“That sounds luxurious. A splash of sriracha and you could open up a new fusion place in Celadon.”

She forced a smile, but her eyes were focused on the food. “You’re from Hoenn, aren’t you? What’s it like?”

I shrugged. “Honestly, one place is like another. Rustboro’s a nice place to grow up in. It’s not Mauville, but I think one day we’ll overtake them.”

We passed our dinner in pointless small talk, trading back and forth observations on Hoenn and Johto and what we both thought was good about Kanto (sense of vitality) and bad (uninspiring radio shows). She seemed curious about my upbringing as a daughter of the LeVant corporation, but was tight-lipped about her own Ecruteak background (she left it at a tantalizing “family stuff”).
Yeah, she isn't proud of where she came from. Much easier to get the other person to talk instead.

I like this little scene. A different way of adding some details and helps keep things grounded.

She threw away her styrofoam container and headed back to her desk, not at all deterred by the forced break. I sighed for real this time and disposed of my own food in the short black garbage can. Pitch decks didn’t write themselves. When I returned to my own office-bedroom at 9, she was still there, spine curved, face illuminated by the blue glow of her monitor. I don’t think she heard me when I told her good night.
She is determined not to lose to the noobie!

Cassandra’s foray was in vain.
Oof!

We regrouped next morning with nothing advancing but Cass’s undereye circles. Three days were spent on this routine. Three days of having Antonio show up doing nothing but occasionally prepping the reagents for a test run. I could feel the money burning like a sore on my lip.
Hang in there, Emily! :copyka:

And then on the fourth morning, Kumiko shows up with a frenzied look in her eyes.

“Guys. Guys. EXPECTED PN LOAD. See, I thought PN was short for Porygon, and we weren’t properly initializing Porygon, but we’d gotten it all wrong. PN is short for Parameters (Normalized). Stupid naming convention but what do we expect from the dinosaurs at Silph? We weren’t passing in the parameters with the correct normalization. That’s why we also ran into SET N NOT IN RANGE - that’s when our parameters weren’t in a remotely acceptable range. I know what we need to do.”
I love the way you describe the technobable here. Surprisingly coherent!

I’d never seen her so animated. I felt she must have had an extra strong brew of the morning coffee. I wanted to find hope in her brown eyes and I wanted to give this team something to hold on to. “What do you say, Cassandra? Let’s give it a shot.”

My cofounder’s arms were crossed high on her chest. “I suppose we can try Kumiko’s idea,” she said dryly. Kumiko immediately slinked into her chair and began pulling up some documents.
Cassandra is not loving that. But if it works I think she will be more pleased than dismayed.

“Okay, can you guys do that test prep thing you do?”

Cassandra and Antonio slipped into lab attire and prepared the synthesis machine. I felt like a useless bystander watching them. Kumiko watched attentively, her fingers curled over the enter button.

“Ready,” said Antonio curtly.

Kumiko nodded and ran the command. The machine began its work again, the great centrifuge rotating. The substrate materials were injected into the glass tube, and we watched with anticipation. Cassandra and Antonio didn’t seem so hopeful, as Cassandra watched with bitten lip and Antonio occasionally pulled out his phone to check some news. We got to the fateful halfway mark and I felt my heart in my throat waiting to see if that dreaded error came. The number climbed: 55%, 56, 57, 58, until we broke the 60 mark.

The safety shield prevented us from being able to see clearly, but you could get a picture of what was going on. The substrate had taken on a colored pink and blue hue, differentiating into a bilaterally symmetrical body. My throat ran dry.

“I’m going to get water,” I said, and I ducked to the minifridge to pour myself some water. I didn’t want to look when it failed. When I’d finished my drink, I fiddled with the coffee maker, pouring the remaining coffee and dregs into my Sprigatito mug. The hum of the machine called me, though, and I knew I had to watch.
So suspenseful! :veelove:

I brought my horrid concoction with me to see the rest of the development. We were in the 90s. The machine was running hot. I didn’t even look at the glass tube, focusing my eyes on the digit counter. 90. 92. 93. 95.

I made eye contact with Cassandra.

97.
98.
99.
100%.

The centrifuge began to slow down. The display screen read “COMPLETE.” I searched Cassandra’s face to see if there was something wrong I should know about, but her expression was genuinely clear and open.

“It worked,” she said.
That's it? Huh. I was expecting a bit more of a reaction from her. Maybe she really is bummed out that Kumiko's idea got them past it? :eyes:

When the centrifuge came to a stop, the safety shield retracted. We saw it clear as day in the tube: our first synthesized Porygon.

“Arceus alive,” whispered Antonio. “We did it.”

“We made a Porygon,” said Cassandra.

And the breakthrough was Kumiko’s.
It's a good thing Cassandra can't read Emily's mind. She would probably go full blown depressed if she could. Heck, maybe she will anyway. If she is a drinker she might be getting drunk later that night!
 

canisaries

you should've known the price of evil
Premium
Location
Stovokor
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. inkay-shirlee
  2. houndoom-elliot
  3. yamask-joanna
  4. shuppet
  5. deerling-andre
  6. omanyte
  7. hizzap
Hey there! I'm here for the exchange. I've read everything that's been uploaded so far, and here are my thoughts.

---

Chapter 1:

The regulars were here, posting links to journals I didn’t know, correcting my errors, and, most importantly, there was Antoine, the man who had one-sidedly declared himself my rival. I propped my chin on my hand to see what he’d written today.
HATER IN THE CHAT

I ran the attachment through the antivirus. No hits. Opening.
Shocked to my core that a character has now, for the first time ever in the history of fiction, run an attachment from a dubious email through antivirus before opening it. I'm honored to have witnessed this.

It was cloudy out, but I didn't mind. Harsh sunlight would reflect off Magnezone and I didn’t think to bring my sunglasses.
this is a really shitty meme edit but i just had to make it

magnezoneshinememe.png

Pros of not meeting with Emily - I’d get to stay home.
truth nuke?

General comments:

Having read this and a few other stories beginnings recently, I'm beginning to realize that you actually can just get to the point right away in your first chapter (which doesn't even need to be 8k). However, I think this really has the detail necessary to keep it from being too fast - we get the information that we need to understand why this new opportunity is the thing Cassandra so desperately needs, and that information is yielded with a good pace. It doesn't feel like an expodump at any point, but rather comes through naturally.

---

Chapter 2:

She nodded, and I took a deep breath. Pitch time. “So, I’m sure you know what makes Porygon special among artificial Pokemon. The fact that we can upload its consciousness, have it work in the digital world, and then come back to a physical form…”
I don't know how it took me this long to realize that Porygon is a Digimon.

Cassandra curled her lips inward.
This expression puzzled me for what it meant for a while. I now assume that it meant, like, that thing you do when you kinda suck your lips in? I don't know if others had this problem, but if they end up pointing it out, another way of expressing this could be looked at.

“You can room with me,” I blurted.
YURI YURI ITS YURI

General comments:

Something I think makes this writing come across as something written by such a skilled author are the evocative descriptions using carefully selected detail. Like, the description of the coffee, which sort of "proves" the statement about Celadon having the best food afterwards to the reader even if it's technically just a sample size of one. I'm not sure if I'm explaining it well.

I also like how Emily isn't immediately placeable as an archetype (that I would know of, anyway), making it harder for the reader to say "oh, I've figured out her deal", but her character is still informed through her interactions and contrasts with Cassandra. You kind of get the feeling of getting to know a real person rather than playing Spot the Character Trope.

Porygon in space is cool! I know the author's notes mentioned it coming from canon, but it's still an artistic choice to include or exclude canon... or, well, as canon as the Dex can be with its occasional Complete Bullshit.

---

Chapter 3:

Even with that, it was too much for us to lift on our own, and so we hired the Machoke Moving Company to help us out.
holy crap, Beasts Like Us reference

“Is your dad a chauvinist or something?”
KEEPIN IT REAL CASSANDRA

“I feel like everything revolves around battle sometimes. Yes, sport is good, we get it, how about like… research? Knowledge? Wisdom?” She reached for the prosecco bottle only to find it empty.
(bangs on my table repeatedly) so fvcking true cassandra. your awesome

General comments:

I don't have terribly much to say about this one, but I do really really love how the different cities have different characterizations - and not just for flavor, but they've actually had a real influence on the characters, too.

---

Chapter 4:

There was Antonio, an incredible Saffron U student hailing from Paldea.
Antonio.... Antoine.... hmmm...

The first day the four of us were together was awkward. Emily looked at me to lead everyone and I felt like a little kid at the foot of disapproving adults. “Okay,” I said, “so, I’ve been looking through the source code that Emily has. My experience is with working with Castform, I worked with Johann, he was kind of the guy who spearheaded the whole Castform project, and Castform was written in a much higher level language than Porygon is, so we’re going to need to crunch through the code before we can think of running it. So Kumiko, I need you to get started on that, and we also need to order, like, the materials for Porygon. Antonio, talk to me and I can tell you what I know from the Porygon white paper, and so, um, yeah.”
Castform was written in code? Not genetically engineered? Huh.

“Are we using source control?” asked Kumiko.

“I don’t know about that, should we?” I asked.

“It’s pretty standard to use source control. It lets you keep track of changes, let different people work on different things.”
Realizing slash remembering that there was a time before Git. I don't know how they did it. I still don't know how my boomer dad does it.

Even when I ate, I was scrolling through some ancient forum posts trying to grok this ancient programming language.
rip the word grok, elon really took that word behind the shed and shot it

At the halfway point, the project suddenly aborted. The machine ground to a slow halt, and the safety shield lifted to reveal that the materials had failed to cohere into the blob required for sculpting. The screen displayed a cryptic message: “ERR 1047: EXPECTED PN LOAD.”
it was at this moment that i realized this story was actually a horror.

General Comments:

I could have never anticipated how joyful it is for me to read fiction that incorporates elements from my software engineering day job. Sure, sometimes it dredges up some war flashbacks (like cryptic error messages), but in a fun, cathartic way.

Either way: I do wonder how readable this is to a non-tech-oriented person. I don't say this to imply any kind of answer - I really do wonder. I just don't have that perspective. Maybe I should take a look around the other reviews in this thread sometime.

---

Chapter 5:

In fact, about any time I mentioned Kumiko solving something, she curled her lip a little. I thought she was regretting hiring her for some failure of skill. But the dark expression on her face as she watched Kumiko working on the codebase told me it was the opposite issue. Kumiko threatened her.
Cassandra is revealing herself to be more and more like me. 3 chapters from now we'll find out she's a furry.

General Comments:

This is so fucking good I love this aaaagagahhgahhahh!!!!!!!! It's so cathartic to see fictional characters deal with the same bullshit I do and it being like a serious thing and not just me being bad at my job or something. I love the details - I love that they have to try different parameters, that they can't bruteforce, that they end up realizing it's a normalization issue. I was on the edge of my freaking seat when they were running the last synthetization test. And now they have a Porygon!!! Because of Kumiko and that pisses Cassandra off!! I'm going to read the next chapter in 0.3 seconds when it comes out fr fr.

---

Closing thoughts:

I love this! I already recommended it to a bunch of friends. Going in, I didn't think I would be this much into it since I'm not a businessperson, but the story seems very interested in the reality of the labor, which is the chief thing I feel like businesspeople don't tend to give enough respect to. The character feel like they have great dimension to them - like they're real people instead of cartoon characters (which can also be entertaining to read about, don't get me wrong). I've already mentioned the descriptions, too, and how I think they do a wonderful job.

I'm super glad I took up this exchange. I'd offer another for when more of the fic is uploaded, but I don't know if there'd be a point since I'm obviously going to keep reading anyway.

Thanks for the exchange, and see you around!
 

Nekodatta

Pokémon Trainer
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. koraidon-apex
  2. miraidon-ultimate
  3. skitty
  4. dodrio
Hello! This fic immediately had my attention since it was a oneshot in this past year's contest, being about Porygon from such an interesting point of view. I ended up reading all five chapters, so here's my review of them!
. I am not an “accounts receivable representative.” I am a researcher on artificial Pokemon.
I already feel so in tune with our protagonist by rolling your eyes at random generic job titles that never really represent what one does. (Or wants to do, in this case)

the school where I’d been a researcher working on Castform generation.
As someone who had never quite put two and two together that Castform was generated, this still takes me by surprise lol

I’d never seen this abstract, and what they described made sense, but without the methods, it wasn’t entirely clear.
I also can't keep but wonder how they even got their hands on what's probably confidential info. Someone has insider info from Silph?

A slick webpage with stock images of skyscrapers taking up half the page, bold font saying “Pokemon. Reimagined,” “The world is dynamic. Your Pokemon should be, too,” and more vague copy that didn’t really say anything but sure sounded enticing.
Ahah I really love the perfect description of a business website.

Magnezone made his affirmative sound, and I raced him to the ground floor down the stairs. He won, of course, because he can just float down, but it’s a habit we established, and it got the blood pumping.
Aww, Magnezone!! The Magnemite line grew on me a lot after writing my own fic, so I'm really happy to see it here. Really cute interaction that gives some nice characterization to both and feels really appropriate for her to have one.

He seemed pleased with this, though for what reason I could not say. I loved his joy anyway.
Another cute moment, I assume he's happy because he can feels she made the choice that would make *her* happy.

It would make a striking contrast to Clefable’s bubblegum pink fur.
In this moment I've realised with a touch of horror that yeah, Clefable probably has fur. I've always pictured them with a very rubbery hide, like dolphins. Which is strange, since the other pink blob of Gen I, Jygglipuff, is explicitly mentioned having fur and I never had trouble picturing that one with fur...

She nods, placing it behind her ear to show where she wants to wear it. I purchased it and checked my watch. It was late.
There's some tense switching here, I think it should all be past tense.

She was trying to figure out where to shelve “Principles of Pokemon Linguistics” and “Magnemite: A Concise Introduction,” her blue eyes scanning the haphazardly stuffed brown bookcase for a meaningful slot.
Aww, I get the feeling that Magnemite book has been well read and is probably from the time she first got him to understand him better! The other book mentioned also gives me the idea that Cassandra is someone that cares about her Pokémon... definitely in a different way than Emily.

True,” I said, and I walked to my purse and released Clefable from her Love Ball
I like using different Poke Ball types to showcase their trainer's personality. A Love Ball is pretty, probably rare and procey, and colour matches Clefable.
Meanwhile Cassandra keeping Magnezone in a Great Ball shows a more purely utilitarian side, but also shows that she still went above the bare minimum and still cared enough to "upgrade". (Assuming Great/Ultra balls are more sturdy/comfortable)

I could think of a thousand and one ways to say no to a face like that, but I nodded at this story.
I had a little laugh at this, but it's another nice way of showing Emily's different approach and tastes in Pokémon compared to Cassandra. She doesn't quite "get" unexpressive Pokémon like Magnezone and even compares it to a "potted plant", which is a bit.... Concerning considering what their business is going to be about, and how she's going to treat these future Porygon they are going to make.

Castform - even worse than Porygon at battling.
In the context of their whole discussion about artificial Pokémon and people only caring about how good they are at battling, this punchline was hilarious, lol.


He had an adorable accent, but he was kind of scary. “I don’t do unpaid internships,” he said when we interviewed him. “How much are you paying?”
YEAH ANTONIO, you go, ask those questions straigh! I see that even the Pokémon world has to deal with those "We pay you in experience and visibility " internships...

I was supposed to be the superior to two young, accomplished students as a washed up office worker who obsessively posted about Porygon on a blog. Emily trusted me to be the one who could guide these guys. The first day the both of them showed up with their dewy lineless skin, I felt as obsolete as Professor Oak’s Pokedex and that I should immediately take my place in the queue for the trash compactor.
Lol at the dig to Professor Oak's Pokedex, but also oof. That's a mood. You captured pretty much what it feels like.

Porygon’s source code was a nightmare of spaghetti code. “Comment everything,” I told her, “literally everything. If there’s a stop sign, I want you to write ‘this is a stop sign.’ All knowledge must be formalized. I’ve worked in places with ‘tribal knowledge’ and it’s a nightmare to get everyone coordinated."
Why am I not surprised that it's complete spaghetti code?

I’m still not sure what command I’m supposed to run to even attempt to try to generate a Porygon. There’s five and yet none of them somehow seem to work.
Again: mood ahah

What the hell is PN LOAD?”
I look forward to discovering it, and also had a chuckle at the cryptic unhelpful error message.

This did not seem to make her any happier.
I'm starting to really feel bad for Cassandra...

and we sliced them down a little by using the cheapest reagents we could, but it was still hefty.
This mention of using "cheap reagents" immediately made me think of what the implications of using them are for artificially synthesized Pokémon. Would that translate to worse general health? Lower IVs? Maybe a "bad"/not optimal Nature?

A new error,” I repeated, unsure how this was good news.
It is absolutely good news Emily

We can’t just brute force our way through every possible value without wasting a lot of money synthesizing, so we’re dividing the reasonable value space into chunks and checking those.
Wasting reagent material and so money puts a nice and believable stake in the story, which is cool. However it does make me wonder if there could be a sort of "emulator" to run commands in and simulate if it would result in a botched Porygon before you waste precious reagent every time... But it would worsen the story so not a big issue!

How the hell do you pump the self-esteem of a renegade academic?
That's the neat part, you don't!
This was a really nice read, it feels like someone who's hobby is programming, or has experience in research can especially relate to, but it's also really approachable by really anyone.
Cassandra in particular is really easy to relate to, with her doubts about leaving her comfy but maybe unfilling job vs working on what she's always dreamed of.
Emily works as a nice contrasting personality, she's more focused on the "making money" part of it; they seem to care about making Porygon for two different ways, and I'm really interested in seeing if this is going to lead to some conflict between the two. What if NEO-A-LIFE gets a custom order for a Porygon to be used in questionable conditions?
I'm also really interested in how Antonio and Kumiko are going to shake up things (especially with Cassandra feeling threatened by Kumiko), I really didn't expect to see two other characters get added, but it makes sense.
This has been delightful to read and I will definitely keep following this!
 

ShiniGojira

Multiversal Extraordinaire
Location
Stranded In The Gaps between Multiverses
Pronouns
He/him/they/her
Partners
  1. froslass
  2. zorua-gojira
  3. salandit-shiny
  4. goomy
Hello and Merry Christmas! Here's a review from yours truly and hope this little thingy will brighten up your day!

Chp 1:

Alright, so to begin with. I like our MC already. She's a nice and interesting character what with not only being a failed academic but also apparently the head lead of the Castform thingy. The premise is also really cool as most stories that deal with artificial Pokémon usually just have it be a standard and typical: 'Playing God is bad', 'Humanity shouldn't make life' and that kind of standard stuff.

The chapter does a nice job in showing how much of a slob Cassandra is which like I get that you're depressed and lost in your life, girl, but you really need to clean up before you catch something.

And also I can really feel that tinge of hope she gets after receiving that email from Emily, and how it pretty much swept away a decent bunch of her worry and anxiety despite how bad of an idea it was to listen and trust a random message from an online stranger.

Chp 2:

Okay, two hopeful girls with each being desperate as hell. Like Cassandra, I already enjoy Emily's character. She's a nice contrast to sloppy, knowledgeable Cassandra with her POV transitioning to show more of that rich girl side as she spends the rest of her day buying something for her Clefable.

I really like how you showed their desperation in different ways. Emily constantly checking her phone throughout the chapter as well as worrying about her project, and Cassandra's cautious hope in the last chapter. I can't say enough about how much I enjoyed the two's different internal thoughts.

So yeah, overall another great chapter!

Chp 3:

Things are shaping up for our two protags as they begin their journey to change za world! The interactions between the two were lovely to read through especially since we get into a more personal/friendly side of them after the initial anxiety and worry.

Once again, Emily's inner thoughts are so classy and fancy, and incredibly well written. I feel like I'm really stepping into the mind of a sheltered rich girl and that's incredible. I can only imagine what Cassandra's POV is like during their whole business exchange: probably tons of confusion like I had with all the buzzwords and fancy talk.

I also really like the short interaction with the two's Pokémon. Magnezone being a protective giant robo glaring down at fancy girl was a funny moment and likewise with Clefable immediately wanting to throw down when she met Magnezone.

So again, a nice chapter detailing the two slowly bonding over mutual obsession and ambition.

Chp 4:

Okay, lab stuff! Here we have Cassandra and her POV as we meet our new employees. I like the two new guys and it's really funny seeing Cassandra's anxiety kinda superseding her when interacting with her peers. You can really see how out of practice she is after so long of being out of the lab.

And the bit about Porygon's original source code was pretty fun. Them discovering just how much of a mess its code was great, along with best girl Kimiko going on to unravel said code though like every story, not everything goes as planned...

Chp 5:

Now I'm on the final chapter for the current times and there's error error and error galore. Cassandra and Kimiko both trying their best to fix the Porygon ends in Kimiko pretty much solving the whole thing. It must really sting for Cassandra and I'm glad Emily was able to see the problem between the two though how on earth will Emily solve this issue is another thing. I presume there's gonna be a chapter with Cassandra slowly becoming more and more frustrated with both herself and Kimiko and maybe it'll lead to Kimiko either quitting or confronting Cassandra about it.

Or maybe Emily will step up and confront Cassandra first. Who knows really but I'll be interested in seeing how the rest of this will play off now that they have a Porygon up and running, and that their dreams are now in reach.

Alright, now let's head on to my line-by-line comments:

Chp 1
The corner of my workdesk was occupied by a used cup of ramen, broth droplets solidified into a cloudy paste.
Sloppy and gross. Do people actually live like this? I myself can barely tolerate being near a closed trash can with organic waste, let alone imagine how disgusting it must be to have it literally on my table.
It was only a few years ago that I was in a lab working with the lead of the Castform project before our project was declared obsolete and budget cuts eliminated our department
Oof, yeah. Castform's pretty useless in both of its function, ain't it? In battles, it sucks and in weather prediction... well, Gamefreak forgot about it so I guess it's probably just sitting in a corner and collecting dust somewhere lol
You’ve learned nothing from the failures of the Aether foundation.
I mean TBF, I don't really think humanity failed in making artificial, more... failing in treating it well and not having it want to destroy the world (*cough* Mewtwo, Genesect *cough*)
Still, I wished he could talk to me like those Rotom talk to humans in Alola.
Sentence here's a bit wonky, I think it'll do well if you added some words to make it flow better.

"...like how those Rotoms could..."
My teeth chewed the inside of my mouth. “I can’t spend the rest of my life not knowing what the deal with this paper is. I’m going to set up a meeting with her.”
Lesgo! Curiosity and ambition over personal safety!
I bought some of his favorite Poke Puffs
How does metal robot with no mouth eat? The world may never know

Chp 2
One person informed me that I was “stuck in the past” for wanting to continue the “failed paradigm” of Porygon research.
Let me guess, it's Cassandra's 'rival', ain't it?
Was this a power play, or did she not realize this was over the top?
Lol, I think she's just nervous, Emily
Chatty, unprofessionally dressed, and unpunctual. Perhaps some kind of wunderkind cosplay?
Oh my god lol, is Emily a sheltered shut-in? 'cause that's hilarious and adorable
Yes. We at NEO-A-LIFE want to create Porygon for specialized applications. Rescue teams, security guards, industrial settings, you name it. We could have a ghost/dark Porygon for a security team and built in data-monitoring to improve security routines. We could have Porygon with particular move combinations that no organic Pokemon could have. We’re targeting institutions that need to work with Pokemon at massive scales.”
Y'know, this sounds awfully like Mew but Ai-ducky version
“I never really considered joining a company, but … it’s interesting… I mean
An extra space between 'but' and the ellipses
Clefable looked cute and played mean; she’d tear through this in nothing.
Either intentional fancy girl talk or a typo of 'no time'
You want this one?” I asked. She nods, placing it behind her ear to show where she wants to wear it.
Random tense change

Chp 3
Turned out the whole twitchy neurotic thing wasn’t an act to look like a crazed genius.
Y'know, since Emily expects random people to act like tropes, I think it kinda implies that she might've acted out these kind of things in her lonesome lol
She rested her head against her inclined pointer finger, which in turn bent back to a ferocious degree. “You’re right. Magnemite can wait.” She lifted herself off the floor and clapped her hands together. “We should celebrate! I mean, I’m here, I made it!” She laughed nervously. “Quit my job…”
Ooh yeah, Cassandra is very much do or die right now 'cause at least Emily has a fallback due to her dad. If this fails, Cassandra's back at like square zero
I could think of a thousand and one ways to say no to a face like that, but I nodded at this story.
*Gasp* How dare thou not believe in the cuteness that is Magnezone! Look at his eyes, they are the one and same as a puppy!
They poured all this money into making Porygon2 to go into space, and yet when they collaborated with Mossdeep Space Center, the Pokemon can’t even move in zero-g. Really embarrassing.”
Huh... That's weird. Doesn't Porygon levitate or float? Why would it even fail in zero g?
They poured all this money into making Porygon2 to go into space, and yet when they collaborated with Mossdeep Space Center, the Pokemon can’t even move in zero-g."
A reference to the Pokedex entries such as the following from LeafGreen: "This upgraded version of Porygon is designed for space exploration. However, it can't even fly." My first thought for an organization that had gone to space would be Mossdeep, since they have rocket launches. I like to think Porygon2 got put on a test-flight but disappointed by not being able to move. It didn't die from not needing to breathe, which is good, but I guess they wanted full motion in space.
Honestly, it really is dumb that after all that effort and time. They'd just throw it all in the trash instead of figuring out a different path to take Porygon into. Like I get that it's because Gamefreak pretty much forgot about it in favour of Rotom but still...

Chp 4
and I’m convinced that Machoke mover stole my book on machine learning applications in Pokemon biology.
Would Machoke even know how to read it if he stole it?
She was the age I was when I was in grad school but twice as accomplished as I was now. She was awkwardly proportioned but seemingly entirely bereft of neuroticism. “I’m happy to contribute to this company!” she said when we extended her an offer letter.
So typical first timer's working a full-time job giddy?
Emily looked at me to lead everyone and I felt like a little kid at the foot of disapproving adults.
The fact that she's probably the oldest of them all makes this really funny
Porygon’s source code was a nightmare of spaghetti code.
So Valve was the one who made Porygon, got it got it
I rubbed my forehead. No, bad thoughts, time to stop. I got up and paced around the empty space, waiting for Magnezone to come back. We were going to figure it out. Kumiko’s smart. I’m stubborn. And - wait, I’m smart too, what am I saying? Why did Antonio and Kumiko make me feel like an absolute idiot?
I know the present tense here is supposed to represent Cassandra's thoughts but I feel like there should be something to differentiate it from the narrative. Either by making it all italics or these quotation 'thingies'. I personally don't think it's that big of an issue but it'll probably look better if the narrative didn't randomly switch tenses and all that stuff, and... yeah...
I shouted, “hey, it’s getting late, can we head back?”
This here needs to be capitalised as it's the beginning of a dialogue, not a continuation
At the halfway point, the project suddenly aborted. The machine ground to a slow halt, and the safety shield lifted to reveal that the materials had failed to cohere into the blob required for sculpting. The screen displayed a cryptic message: “ERR 1047: EXPECTED PN LOAD.”
Yeah... knew things were going too smoothly for them

Chp 5
I told her that’s why we hired Kumiko. This did not seem to make her any happier.
Well, you did sorta say that you expected her to not know how to do her job lol
And the breakthrough was Kumiko’s.
Oof, I can already taste the envy Cassandra will be feeling in her POV

And that's it from me! It's been a fun and enjoyable read, and like every other reader might say: MOAR plz... Anywho, hope the rest of ya day go swell! See ya!
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. growlithe
  6. quilava-fobbie
  7. sneasel-kate
  8. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, I was in the market for a new story to pick up while chasing after the Week 1 bonus that would be easy to get into, and saw from the Hype thread that this story apparently got a bit into the weeds with programming as a story. I figured that between that basically being my day job and it being a bit of an uncommon bird for a premise, that it was worth popping in and seeing what the buzz was all about.

Anyhow, let’s see where this goes with:

Chapter 1

-Cassandra-

Who was I? I was a faceless employee in the Celadon City branch of some company you’d never heard of that sold widgets to another company you’d never heard of. I’d have stated my job title, but to state your employment like that involves some degree of identification, and I did not identify myself with them. I am not an “accounts receivable representative.” I am a researcher on artificial Pokemon.

This is what I repeated to myself as I came home from another uninspiring day at work. The view of my studio apartment was hardly a balm to the soul. The corner of my workdesk was occupied by a used cup of ramen, broth droplets solidified into a cloudy paste. The white refrigerator in the corner froze everything I stored on the top shelf. My tower of folders had toppled and the papers fanned out by the leg of the desk.

Oh boy, does that one hit home right now. Even if I don’t do anything as cool as making drinky bird companions as my day job and my place isn’t that much of a wreck… usually. ^^;

Instead of dealing with any of this, I tiptoed over the pool of notes into my office chair and began copying my annotations from Stolringer’s “Problematic Methodologies in Porygon Protein Synthesis” into my text editor. I’d gotten this copy from Saffron University’s library, the school where I’d been a researcher working on Castform generation. It was only a few years ago that I was in a lab working with the lead of the Castform project before our project was declared obsolete and budget cuts eliminated our department. I couldn’t justify paying Saffron rents anymore, but I had no plans to return to Ecruteak, city of conservatism and stagnation. Celadon rents were more affordable, and I could at least bike to Saffron to borrow books from their library.

648432318599397376.webp


Ah yes, this is the part where we find out that this is a sequel to In Beta. /s

Though I suppose with how quickly the synthetic Pokémon scene has been changing canonically, it’d only be logical that Silph or whoever bankrolled various Artificial Pokémon lines would just go “sorry, no budget” if the demand for Porygon suddenly dried up and Porygon2/Z/[WHATEVER] wasn’t obviously turning the trend around.

A part of me does wonder if this paragraph would’ve worked better as two smaller ones, but I was admittedly waffling on where the best place to divide things up would be.

I finished copying my annotations and posted them to my blog. Just because I couldn’t research in a university didn’t mean I couldn’t research at all, right? It was amazing how many people cared about it. “Porygon Revival” was the leading blog on documenting the original Porygon project. But perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised me, for Porygon had a unique allure. Other artificial Pokemon, once generated, were no different from any other Pokemon. Porygon alone could be connected to a source, be de-synthesized and re-synthesized elsewhere, and even execute commands in virtual space. It was this trait - decompositionality, we called it - that eluded us enthusiasts.

Ah yes, referring to the whole ‘moving around in cyberspace’ thing that it can do in the anime. I wonder if the reason why it also apparently got turned into abandonware by Silph was due to causing seizures in kids or something like that.

My lips cracked from thirst. I pulled out a near frozen bottle of soda pop from the fridge, and cracked it open. It was in some horrid state between slushie and liquid, but I drank it anyway. It didn’t taste good, but it was a welcome sensory novelty. Thirst quenched, I checked the comments on the blog. The regulars were here, posting links to journals I didn’t know, correcting my errors, and, most importantly, there was Antoine, the man who had one-sidedly declared himself my rival. I propped my chin on my hand to see what he’d written today.

“When are you going to stop this nonsense? Artificial Pokemon generation is extremely dangerous. We barely know anything about how Pokemon physiology works and you continue to have the gall to try your hand. You’ve learned nothing from the failures of the Aether foundation. Porygon’s extensibility is not a toy.”

Oh yeah, that’s gonna stop our protagonist there. /s

He’d left one hundred such comments on my blog. This one was concise - he would often leave page-long screeds on decision theory and how artificial Pokemon synthesis was objectively foolish. I felt flattered, really, that he thought I had the know-how to create a Pokemon that could destroy the world. For just a moment, I felt I wasn’t a failure from some backwater town trying to edge my way into a world that clearly didn’t want me.

I mean, you don’t even have to really try to make a world-destroying Artificial Pokémon if Porygon in this setting can reproduce like they can in-game. All you need to do is blunder your way into changing the wrong OS/firmware settings and you’ll be well on your way to creating a Grey Goo scenario without creating something akin to Reaper to cull your unwanted Porygon.

Having finished the comments, I turned to my emails. I rarely got any, but today there was one bolded title.

Sender: NEO A-LIFE
Topic: Porygon White Paper
Body:
Dear Cassandra,
Your research on the Porygon project is truly astonishing. You’ve made incredible progress on reconstructing the details.
My name is Emily LeVant, and I am the founder of NEO-A-LIFE. We’re a startup that focuses on Porygon generation. I’m looking for a researcher who knows their Porygon stuff, and you seem like you fit the bill. We have access to documents you may find intriguing. I have attached, for your eyes only, a snippet of the original Porygon white paper. This is the intellectual property of NEO-A-LIFE. Do not upload this anywhere.
I’d like to meet with you to discuss the possibility of you joining our team. I will be in Celadon City for the weekend.
Yours,
Emily

Ah yes, that’s where our title drop comes from. Though I can already tell that things are going to get wild in short order. Since somehow “creating synthetic life” and “startup culture” sounds like a recipe for disaster in short order. :copyka:

I ran the attachment through the antivirus. No hits. Opening. “Towards the first virtual Pokemon: Porygon. Authors: Anisha Abad, James McClinton, Marcello Garcia. We present here a novel method for creating the world’s first decompositional artificial Pokemon, named Porygon. Using this method, Porygon is able to both keep a physical form and move in the digital world…”

My hands felt numb. There was no way this could be it. And yet, it seemed to be. The authors were legitimate; I’d read about most of them beforehand. I’d never seen this abstract, and what they described made sense, but without the methods, it wasn’t entirely clear. It was inconceivable. Who was Emily, and was she seriously pitching me to join her company?

Wait, without the methods of what now? I think you might have accidentally cut a word or two here.

Also, have you considered opening a tab and using a search engine or else whatever your setting’s equivalent of LinkedIn is, Cassandra? ^^;

I looked them up on the internet. Emily herself was apparently related to the head of a prestigious mining company in Hoenn. Her headshot on the website for NEO-A-LIFE showed a woman of small stature with glossy black hair, pink cheeks, and a big smile. She seemed… adorable? Anyone can start a company, but she seemed a little sweet-looking to be a startup founder.

Oh, well. There it is, there.

There wasn’t as much on NEO-A-LIFE. Just about everything on the company seemed to be made by Emily herself. A slick webpage with stock images of skyscrapers taking up half the page, bold font saying “Pokemon. Reimagined,” “The world is dynamic. Your Pokemon should be, too,” and more vague copy text that didn’t really say anything but sure sounded enticing. “Using decompositional biology and identity-preserving eigenstructures, NEO-A-LIFE delivers scalable solutions at an affordable price.”

I think you have a wrong word there. Also:

de7.png


It was weird. It was obviously weird. Okay, maybe it was a real startup, but who just emailed people out of the blue asking them to join their company? Or was this normal? I’d never been part of the corporate world. I forsook money to make a difference (although I ended up not doing that, either). Maybe I was the one who didn’t get it.

I’d say that this wasn’t normal, but then I remembered that corporate recruiters are things and… uh… yeah, they basically just go and do this. Even if they typically don’t just drop solicitation emails out of the blue like this.

My heart raced and I had to get up and pace from one corner of this room to the other. I wove around the backpack and folders scattered carelessly across the floor, occasionally brushing my ankle against them. It couldn’t be real. It was too perfect. But it seemed like the real Porygon white paper. Where did she get that? How could I read the rest of it?

By playing hard to get and trying to get her to dripfeed as much of the white paper as possible before you give formal agreement to joining NEO-A-LIFE? ^^;

Even if I kinda get the vibe that Cassandra’s going to skip the negotiation part and just jump right onboard.

A familiar pressure pulsed in my temples. I grabbed the Pokeball I always kept in the bowl and headed out for fresh air. I let Magnezone out of his ball. I saw his silhouette in white before his features became clearer, and he rotated his magnets in happiness at seeing me.

“Nice to see you too,” I said. “Wanna go for a walk with me? I need to clear my head.”

I see that someone hasn’t crashed GF’s offices in the area to pick up their free Eevee yet.

Magnezone made his affirmative sound, and I raced him to the ground floor down the stairs. He won, of course, because he could just float down, but it was a habit we established, and it got the blood pumping. I emerged from the stairwell to see him at the exit, screws tightening and loosening in anticipation.

“Oh, you won again!” I said in mock horror. “How will I ever catch up to you?” I scratched my ear. “Let’s take a walk to the department store.”

Couple small verb tense errors that I noticed here.

It was cloudy out, but I didn't mind. Harsh sunlight would reflect off Magnezone and I didn’t think to bring my sunglasses. [ ]

“Okay, so Magnezone, I need you to hear me out. I got this email from some lady who’s starting a company. Normally I wouldn’t pay attention to it, but she has the original Porygon white paper. And you know how much I want to make a Porygon.”

Magnezone buzzed.

I think that you’re missing something here from Cassandra’s perspective to transition more into her speaking up to Magnezone. Something like some bit of thought process plus her looking over at Magnezone or something here.

“This company, it looks like it’s real. But I don’t know about this. Like, do you really think that I should meet up with her? What if she’s crazy?”

Magnezone made another sound. I wished he had a human understanding of the world. I felt his judgment would be fantastic. But his world was not my world. He’d been my companion since he was just a little Magnemite, and I would always talk to him when I needed a sounding board. He didn’t fully understand; I once caught him falling asleep when I explained the complexities of academic funding politics. But whether he got it or not, he was still my buddy, and it felt good to share these things with him.

Oh, so he’s her rubber duck there. I can already tell she puts him to use to those ends when it comes time for those long nights poking and prodding at decompiled Porygon source code

My lips cracked again - apparently soda pop didn’t really quench your thirst. We finally arrived at the Celadon department store, and I headed to the water fountain by the side of the building. “So,” I asked between gulps, “should I do it?”

Magnezone stared at me with his unblinking red eye. I wiped the water on my chin off with the back of my hand. It was not fair to expect Magnezone to make such a decision for me. His world was electromagnetism, battle, floating, not major career decisions in your late twenties. Still, I wished he could talk to me like those Rotom talk to humans in Alola.

Cassandra: “... Spin your magnets once for ‘yes’, twice for ‘no’?” ^^;

I stopped, stepped away from the water fountain, and closed my eyes. Pros of meeting with Emily - I’d get to learn more about this mysterious Porygon white paper. Con - she could be a serial killer (epistemic status: unlikely) or a weirdo (possible?). Pros of not meeting with Emily - I’d get to stay home. Cons - I would never know what’s in that paper.

My teeth chewed the inside of my mouth. “I can’t spend the rest of my life not knowing what the deal with this paper is. I’m going to set up a meeting with her.”

Well, that was a fast decision there. Though I kinda wonder if this would’ve benefited more from showing off a bit more of Emily’s thought process here to emphasize how much trying to make fresh Porygon again is a passion of hers and how much it means to her, since that’s the practical consequence of not knowing what’s inside the white paper. It’s not just losing knowledge, it’s letting an opportunity to chase something that’s been a dream/passion project for her for years slip through her grasp.

He seemed pleased with this, though for what reason I could not say. I loved his joy anyway.

I prompted him to enter his Pokeball before entering the department store - he was a little too big to have floating around in cramped spaces. I bought some of his favorite Poke Puffs and felt his Pokeball rattle as I passed through the automatic doors. I tapped the ball twice to let him know it was safe to come out. He wriggled in anticipation and I tossed him his cupcakes. He ate them in his inscrutable way as we returned home in the setting sun’s light. All I could think of was what I was going to write:

“Dear Emily, I’m interested. How about this Saturday at 3:00 PM at the cafe by the department store?”

Yeah, I figured. Not convinced that Cassandra won’t wind up regretting this within a few chapters, but I suppose that’s a story for another day.

Alright, made it to the end of this first chapter. I admittedly was expecting things to get a little deeper into the technical weeds, but just what’s there felt like a great opening serve and certainly very true to life for anyone who does tech either professionally or on a hobbyist basis. The general premise and lingo definitely feels very true to life for an open-source software project or project supporting abandonware, and one chapter in, you’re already starting to poke at some of the thornier dilemmas regarding creating life that I can already tell will become relevant beyond the rantings of online cranks that have an axe to grind with Cassandra. It’s admittedly a bit soon for me to really judge how well they’ll be executed on, but just what’s there feels very promising thus far. I’m not sure whether or not this is something that you drew upon IRL experience to help you with, but if not, you clearly put in an impressive amount of research to make this feel very convincingly “software developer’s life”.

As for critiques, I noticed a few verb tense errors in your text since you indicated that you were moving away from writing everything in present verb tense (and already had some parts that were written in past verb tense). I also thought there were a couple spots in the chapter where things might have benefitted from getting into Cassandra’s head and thought process a bit more. Lastly, it’s a bit nitpicky of me and I’m ever-so-slightly biased since I did something along its lines in one of my stories, but given that you showed off emails in the narrative flow, a part of me wonders if there was an opportunity to go a bit further into the technical end of things for the time that Cassandra spends on Porygon Revival through something like showing some unholy mess of a decompiled code snippet spat out by bland-name Ghidra or something like that that she was in the middle of trying to determine what on earth it was doing originally in the absence of original documentation / code comments that would’ve been in the original source code. In the end, what’s there already works well enough, but it’d have been a nice bonus for those readers poking their heads in coming from more tech-y backgrounds.

Though good stuff, @Goolix . Since you’ve certainly got a really promising gem of a story here that I’ve only seen a couple of other stories even attempt to lean as hard on a software development backdrop as what you seem to be ramping up towards. I dunno if I’ll get a chance to come back before the week’s over, but you’ve got me interested, and I’ll definitely be back for more sometime in the next three weeks to see where you take things here.
 
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Chapter 6: Hello, world New

Goolix

Junior Trainer
Many thanks to everyone who has been reviewing for review blitz!! I'm really humbled and grateful at the attention and reception you've all given this. I've been in a writing funk this month, but I really wanted to get what I had written out after seeing all the lovely and insightful comments you all have given. The next three chapters were some of my favorites to write.

Chapter 6: Hello, world​

- Cassandra -


It took a while for the liquid to drain from the tube. I watched as the water gently receded, with Porygon tucked in at the center. Its eyes were closed, and I’m sure anyone watching would have thought this was an object from how motionless it was. I had never come so close to one as at this very moment. It was so compact, so pale. I focused on it to avoid the stone in my heart from knowing I hadn’t brought it into the world.

Emily was congratulating Kumiko, who of course deserved this. She figured it out and I did not. Figures. She’s younger and faster than me. My lungs felt leaden seeing Antonio pat her on the back and Emily praising her. I knew I should congratulate her too, to not let my envy curdle this moment. My lips just felt too dry and my throat too tight to be able to say anything right away. I stretched the corners of my mouth and dipped my chin down a few times and hoped this got across a celebratory emotion.

“This is amazing,” I said, trying to join in the revelry.

Antonio had headed to the machine to initiate the exit procedure. The liquid had drained, which meant it was safe. The tube lifted; the glistening Porygon lay there. I turned to Emily.

“Have Clefable out. We need defense if it’s not stable. I can’t have Magnezone; his electromagnetism will interfere with the machines.” I looked at Kumiko and Antonio. “You guys have Pokemon?”

“I have Mimikyu,” said Antonio.

“Arcanine,” said Kumiko.

“Those should be fine. Let them out.”

“I don’t think a feral Porygon needs to be controlled by three Pokemon,” said Antonio.

“Better safe than sorry,” I said.

The two employees looked to Emily, who nodded. Kumiko got her Pokeball from her backpack; Antonio kept his clipped to his belt. Mimikyu and Arcanine appeared in the lab; Clefable joined right after. I wished that Magnezone could have joined them, but even with his electromagnetism restrained, I didn’t want to risk it.

I walked up to the Porygon, my heart in my throat. I held out a gloved hand, trying to focus the tremors. I made contact with its baby blue wing and stroked it gently. Its eyes slowly blinked open, and it looked at me.

“Pory…?” It looked around, and then its head snapped back on me. It began to hover off the platform, its wings, head, and tail stretching out. When it had finished its stretch, its limbs snapped back into position, and it assumed the rocking motion typical of Porygon.

“I think we did it,” said Emily.

I nodded, my eyes watering a little. It was here, a real life Porygon, right in front of me. I brought my hand to cover my mouth.

Mimikyu trilled. It moved closer to Porygon. Porygon tilted its head and hovered closer to Mimikyu. Arcanine bowed its head to make closer eye contact with Porygon, and Clefable jumped up and down. Nobody said anything as we watched the Porygon we had made interact with these real Pokemon.

I knelt down to get closer to Porygon’s level. “Hi,” I said simply. I removed my glove and held out my hand. “I’m Cassandra. It’s nice to meet you.”

Porygon hadn’t been socialized at all yet, so it didn’t attempt to shake back with its wing. It looked at my hand and then hovered closer, making contact. It felt smooth, cool, like plastic. I gently stroked its wing and it pulled away. I retracted my hand slightly. It instead tilted its head towards me, and I stroked it between the eyes. This time it closed its eyes in relaxation and I smiled.

I turned to Emily. “It’s safe to touch,” I said softly. “I think it doesn’t like its wings being touched.”

Emily blinked at me in incredulity, but she saw Antonio and Kumiko looking at her and she seemed to feel she had to set a good example. She awkwardly bent down in her pencil skirt and heels and tentatively placed her hand over the Porygon’s head before patting.

“There you go,” she said, clearly wanting to pull back.

Antonio and Kumiko did not seem to feel inclined to join in petting Porygon yet. I stood back to my full height.

“Guys, we did it,” I said, trying to fight back a smile. “I think our next step is to see what its capabilities are. Run a Pokedex scan, test moves, see how it acts.” I couldn’t help but turn to it; it was waddling its wings back and forth.

“I think you should be in charge of studying this Porygon,” said Emily. “Consider it your own. Might wanna get it in a Pokeball,” she winked.

I nodded and ran to my backpack in my little studio to get the extra Pokeballs I stored there. I had seven ultra balls and, at the bottom, a premier ball I had gotten as part of a promotion. I reached for it, looking at its white halves joined by a red seam. This was the ball for Porygon.

I approached the Porygon, floating innocently in front of Arcanine. I kneeled again. “Hey Porygon. I’m going to take care of you from now on… if that’s okay.” I held the milk-white ball out in my hand. “I can watch over you more easily if you’re in here. You’ll be safe here.” The Porygon looked at the ball seriously, and tapped on it with its beak, causing the red laser to encompass it and suck it into the ball.

The ball twitched once and twice before resting. I released a sigh before realizing everyone’s eyes were on me. I felt the blood expand in my cheeks as I stood up. I minimized the ball and slipped it into my pocket, feeling its cool texture against my palm.

“Everything’s under control,” I said.

Emily gave me a curious look before smiling. “Well, we’ve got a Porygon. This is a big deal, everyone. We’re that much closer to getting a custom Porygon made. Let’s keep this momentum going. Kumiko, I want you to keep organizing this code, commenting, anything that we will need to know in the future. Antonio, review the data from our successful synthesis, I want a report on what we can improve.”

I waited until Kumiko and Antonio had gotten back to their stations to move. I walked back to my own desk, but Emily hung behind me with a knowing smile on her face.

“Your first Porygon,” she chirped. “Your heart must be leaping out of its ribcage.”

“It’s pretty exciting,” I admit, shoving my hands in my pockets and feeling the miniaturized ball there. “There’s so much to test. I mean honestly, I could run the Pokedex test here, get some stats and confirm typing, moves…”

“Why don’t you do it outside?” she said. “Magnezone might want to meet Porygon.”

I blinked. “You’re right! He hasn’t met Porygon!” I reached for my backpack and checked that Magnezone’s ball was in there as well my Pokedex and my note book. “Alright, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what to study. I’ll report back soon.” She grinned, though I don’t know why.

I walked outside the lab, both Pokeballs at my palms. I sprinted to the park.

Magnezone was first. His large, metallic body hovered over the manicured grass.

“Magnezone, something amazing happened today.” I grasped the ball. “The porygon synthesis worked. I… I’d like to introduce you to Porygon.”

The saucer-shaped creature beeped,. I slipped the ball out of my pocket and pressed the button at its center.

“Go, Porygon!” The digital duck formed before us. My throat caught seeing Magnezone, my oldest friend, meet the fruit of our labors.

“Porygon,” I said gently. “Oh, your name is Porygon. And this is Magnezone. He’s my friend.” I gulped. “I hope you can both be friends.”

Porygon turned to Magnezone and chirped. Magnezone twirled his saucers and buzzed in return. The two made such noises back and forth, a conversation I could not be privy to. I felt my tendons relax a little when Porygon and Magnezone began to play what looked like a game of tag. They weren’t enemies. Thank goodness.

I took out my Pokedex and scanned Porygon. The device beeped and flashed a red light before its display refreshed with the information I needed: “Porygon, the Virtual Pokemon. Normal-type. Porygon is an artificial Pokémon created using advanced scientific means. It can move freely through cyberspace. Moves: Tackle, Sharpen, Conversion.” This was old-school. Modern Porygon tended to have more moves at this age. This Porygon was unaltered from how they made them in the 90s.

“Magnezone,” I cried, “help me with something. Let’s try some moves out.” He nodded, and I turned to Porygon. “Porygon, use tackle.”

Porygon contracted its parts together and then threw its body forward at Magnezone. Magnezone barely took a hit from it.

“Porygon, conversion.” I wanted to see if my theory were right. Porygon turned to Magnezone and contracted its body again. Its body took on a metallic sheen. I checked it again with my pokedex - it had turned to steel type.

Amazing. Conversion was a move that had changed its function throughout the years - Silph Co was apparently unsure how it should work. Not since the days of Team Rocket swaggering through Saffron did Conversion take on the type of the opposing Pokemon. Were this a modern Porygon, Conversion would have kept it at its normal typing since all its moves were normal-type. This was intriguing.

And most fascinating of all was that Sharpen. They didn’t even make it anymore. Not much special about it, but worth a shot…

“Use Sharpen, Porygon!”

Porygon furrowed its angular brow and its edges grew sharper and longer. It threw itself against Magnezone again. Magnezone was too powerful for this to make much of a difference, and Porygon had now lost its STAB advantage with Tackle. I checked again with the Pokedex and saw that Porygon had an “ATK +1” next to it.

So it was true. This really was the original source code for Porygon, unaltered since the 90s. No Porygon Silph Co made today would be like this one. I looked at my Porygon, at its pallid coloration. That was a little curious - even among older Porygon, they tended to have a deeper magenta coloration. This sky blue and cotton candy pink color scheme was more reminiscent of a baby’s crib than the average Porygon. A variant I’d seen photos of before, but not a common one.

I took notes on its stats and nature before just sitting down and watching it play with Magnezone. It had only existed for an hour and yet it was so adapted to the world already. Did Porygon learn quickly? It was good news for the company. Porygon was not a trembling babe, but already formed for the world. Remarkable.

The sun was high in the sky, and sweat pooled at my brow and armpits. I knew Magnezone didn’t like being out when the sun was so bright, and worse was that his metallic coat reflected the light into everyone’s eyes. Steel types like him were not considered easy Pokemon to keep in a city. I kept him anyway. What wouldn’t you do for a buddy?

“Magnezone, sun’s a little bright right now, take a break,” I said. Magnezone nodded and I recalled him into his ball. Porygon hovered, head tilted to the side as if unsure where Magnezone went.

“Oh, he’s okay,” I said. “It’s just too bright to have a steel type his size out. Trust me, I was once biking with him and he reflected a beam straight into my eye; I nearly drove off the road.” I took a deep breath looking at Porygon again. It was just it and me now. I’d collected the data I wanted to, but I didn’t want to go back inside yet.

“Would you like to eat something?” I said. Porygon don’t need to eat, but if you offer them food, they like to nibble at it. Nobody was quite sure what this means for the phenomenology of Porygon taste, but I liked to imagine that they got some fun out of it.

“Poryyy,” it cried. I gestured to it to follow me as I headed for the Poke Puff store. It hovered right at my side, taking in all the sights of a city like Saffron. It must have been seeing so much for the first time. Whatever information Porygon had pre-programmed into it, it doesn’t compare to your first sensory encounter with the world.

I ordered a sweet, frosted Poke Puff and was handed a Pokemon-friendly cupcake. I wanted to order one of the confectionary monstrosities, where each puff was topped by cherries and rainbow sprinkles and girded by fluted buttercream frosting. Best to taste it, though.

I sat at one of the tables for two, with Porygon hovering by my side. I offered it the Poke Puff and it made a slight jerking motion of the head reminiscent of sniffing before turning away. “You don’t like it?” I asked. I smelled the puff myself. It smelled like the color pink. Nothing wrong with it, but perhaps Porygon didn’t share my sweet tooth. Magnezone always preferred mint. I sighed and left the puff on the table to take back later.

I ordered plain mint, citrus, mocha, and spice Poke Puffs to see if I could divine the secret of Porygon’s taste preferences. The Pokemon looked each one over, “sniffing” each one, until it stopped at the citrus and began to dig into it with its beak. It was making a right mess, with cake filling spreading all over the table, but Porygon appeared to be enjoying it; its eyes were closed in satisfaction as it dug into the orange-flavored pastry.

“You’re cleaning this up, I suppose,” I said. Porygon instead moved on to the spice Poke Puff and repeated the same routine, turning the cupcake into a mix of baked batter and moist frosting. No cupcake matter actually entered Porygon’s body, yet it seemed as delighted as if it had swallowed the thing. I leaned my head on my hand, incredulous at how the people at Silph created a being with what appeared to be so many emergent characteristics. For a Pokemon meant to go into space, there’s no reason to need to taste, but it sure acts like it can taste. It had been a mystery to me in my blogging years, but remembering the process, I wondered if something about the very base used to synthesize Pokemon caused leftover features of Pokemon biology to appear in Porygon.

Once the duck had finished smearing to its delight, it chirped. I sighed at the awful mess it had left, and I’m pretty sure it took half a container of paper napkins to restore some sense of dignity to the table. I got to-go boxes for the untouched Poke Puffs and then turned to Porygon. “I need to wipe your nose; I can’t have you in the lab looking like you got cake’d.”

Porygon hesitated before leaning forward, and I steadied the underside of its beak as I wiped the cake remnants off its beak with a moist napkin.

“Good as new. Can’t say the same for the table. But let’s head out.”

We began the walk back to the lab. I kept looking at Porygon, which floated serenely over the sidewalk, avoiding fire hydrants, trash cans, and misplaced umbrellas. I wished so badly I could ask it directly how its source code worked, what was safe to change, what were all its secrets. It was a foolish dream, I know, about as useful as asking a human how meiosis works. Unlike humans, Porygon did seem to come pre-programmed with knowledge, and there was some faint hope a conversation with Porygon might reveal this, but Porygon was as mute as any other Pokemon was.

Thinking back to the lab, I felt a little sick. Porygon was my test subject, sure, but it wouldn’t be here without Kumiko. What value did I add to the team as someone who had last worked in a lab several years ago? I thought back to Emily’s little wink and grin; was it pity that she assigned me the role of Porygon minder?

I didn’t want to feel bad. I didn’t want to distrust my colleagues. I didn’t want to be anxious with Porygon around. At the same time, this was a startup of which I was allegedly cofounder, and there’s no reason for them to keep me here if I didn’t pull my weight.

I recalled Porygon as I entered the space we were renting. The team was still working on something; Emily had told me one lunch that ‘there’s no such thing as leisure time’ in this lab.

“Cassandra,” said Antonio. “I’ve been reviewing the logs for the Porygon synthesis. I have an idea on how to speed up synthesis down the line. It’ll be a little more expensive, but it could help the entire Porygon generate itself more quickly.”

“Very nice,” I said. “You’ve told Emily?”

“Of course. I figured you should know as well.”

Meanwhile Kumiko was continuing to document the code. “It’s a mess,” she said, running her hands down her face. “I think I’m just starting to really get it. I’ve got it all on our dev branch.”

“Excellent. Keep it up.”

Emily was at her computer, typing. “Cassandra! Tell me what you’ve learned about Porygon.”

“Well, this is about as old as it gets. The source code you have is a pretty old build. We’ve got moves like Sharpen on it. They haven’t made them like that for several years.”

She frowned a little. “So it’s out of date.”

“Meh. All the moves functioned as they should. Including Conversion, which changes typing.” I smiled. “This means somewhere in that code is something that can control Porygon’s type. It’s set to copy the other Pokemon’s type, but I don’t see a reason we shouldn’t be able to change it.”

She saw what I was getting at and her eyes brightened. “We can work on custom typing.”

I grinned. “We certainly can.”
 
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