"The truth is... I've spent years thinkin' of myself as a violent animal who oughta be put down before I can keep hurtin' people."
She noticed the expression on Astrid's face and put up a paw to forestall her reply.
One sentence to the next, Astrid couldn’t quite keep up. Pause, pause, pause.
What did she just—?
Her mouth fell open on impulse alone, a breath drawn, but Brisa’s paw rose before she could speak. Her thoughts rang loud in her ears:
Holy shit. This runs deeper than I realized.
"I attacked Curio and Starr. Paralysing bars and teeth at their necks, the works. I was tryin' to make them see I was dangerous, so they would... So they would put an end to me. It made sense at the time, inside the shadow."
It took several moments to internalize what she’d said, and several more to think of something to say. I’m sorrys and you’ll be fines had no place in this room, not now.
“Hey, hey.” One of her tails snaked over to Brisa’s shoulders, resting there. “That’s… okay, you
know that isn’t really true, right? It was just the machine playing unfair. You aren’t a monster or anything.” Something occurred to her, and she continued, “And I don’t care what you did before coming here, if you did anything bad at all. I think you’re a good Pokémon. You’re here with me, right? You didn’t have to check on me, but here you are.”
Astrid’s gaze could find nothing to settle upon. She certainly didn’t look at Brisa, because she could not let her see the doubt running through them: not towards her, but towards…
The machine. Those shadows… those
Shadows were like nothing she’d ever felt before. The pain they inflicted was unnatural, and uncomfortable, and not something she could fend off with strength alone. It had felt like her heart had been nearly pulled from her chest. So many voices telling her that she—
Her head shot upright. They were still there. They were still there. They weren't talking but they were
still there. Dormant, but a part of her. Infused into her tails. Circling her pupils. Pumping through her heart. Tingling at the tips of her toes. Just like her Radiance.
Her gaze drifted down to her paws. She wasn’t sure if Diyem could hear her; she wasn’t expecting an answer anyway.
What… is this body?