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Pokémon What the Gods Gave Me

StolenMadWolf

Loony Moony
Pronouns
She/They
Partners
  1. scorbunny
  2. buneary
Okay, time for another Review Blitz, and so I’ve gone ahead and select this here fic for tomatorade. I’ll be going ahead and reading through the first three chapters and will try and provide some feedback in this review. I tend to focus on worldbuilding and characters over the writing itself, but it is something I can still have a look at.

So, focusing on the first chapter first, it’s clear that this is not the usual sort of fan fic when it comes to Pokemon. It’s set in the standard Pokemon setting, but like PMD, it gives us a focus someone being turned into a Pokemon. Except this time… it’s not a human being turned into a Pokemon. Instead, our protagonist used to be some kind of raven, maybe not even a Pokemon version, just a regular bird, and this becomes immediately apparent with the way the story is written. Our protagonist doesn’t really know much about himself apart from the fact that all of a sudden. Likewise, as this is a form of xenofiction (I suppose all Pokemon fiction that doesn’t focus on the trainers counts as a form of xenofiction!), our protagonist doesn’t just have no idea how his body actually works, but also doesn’t know exactly what some things are. Or rather, if lacking that term, doesn’t really understand what some things are. Buildings are square nests being a particularly clear cut example. The very same chapter does hint that his understanding can improve – he can comprehend things and start putting bits and pieces together. Clearly though, not fast enough, as he ends up needing rescuing by a human. By accident actually, as he sees his reflection and proceeds to pass the mirror test! Whoop! The guy definitely has an understanding of ‘self.

The second chapter follows a similar course, as our protagonist, Aiemlou, still can’t fly, but he does get a little bit more a glimpse of the human world here. He continues to gain some semblance of understanding things, gradually beginning the first steps from transferring from an animal mindset to something more on par with being like a Pokemon. It’s slow, but his ability to start understanding things does get emphasised here. More importantly, good Aiemlou here starts developing the beginning of a personality. Starting to get bored enough to start screwing around, if subtly. Mainly as a means of better understanding things. That pretty much tells me two things about the guy straight away in a nice way. He can be snarky, but he’s mainly using it try and learn a bit more in process – even if is failing to understand the finer details. The chapter itself really kicks off when Atlas creeps in, allowing for the first actual conversations to take place. I do like how a psychic type conversation ends up taking place, not with actual words, but with some mental reactions here and there that the characters can pick up on. It’s definitely a nice touch, even if it is fairly standard fare for psychic types otherwise. On the plus side, it does show signs of Aiemlou’s initial perspective. He is still thinking in terms of being a raven rather than the Latios he has become, and it’s something that will creep in within time.

And naturally, this rolls us over to the third chapter, which basically serves as a continuation of the second one. I can’t really say too much on it, apart from it’s essentially a progression from what has happened before already, Aeimlou working to try and fully understand things… but he’s still thinking somewhat like an animal. He doesn’t know what each Pokemon is called, only what they could look like. Furthermore, he initially thinks that trainers – AKA the kids we play in the games – are actually mothers to the Pokemon. This sounds completely bonkers and even borderline silly/insane to us… well… silly humans. But at the same time this is totally something that someone who had been an animal to say, whilst still being put down in a way that we can grasp. It’s a really cool way of displaying Aeimlou’s perspective on all this stuff. Again though, he doesn’t understand everything, as he completely misses the point on what a trainer actually is… by asking to become the starter Pokemon… of a Pokemon. That certainly got me smirking, even given the, naturally, WTF reactions many people in-universe will be having. We also get a bit more of an understanding of Hilda here… and it’s interesting to see how fed up she actually is. It’s an curious take on a former protagonist.

Writing wise, it all looks pretty solid, I’m not going to be raising any issues with that across the board. There are a few moments where I had to do a double take to see who was actually talking and speaking during the dialogue, but the dialogue, especially from Aeimlou and Atlas is pretty good. The Aeimlou viewpoint and descriptions are where it’s shines though, so pretty good there.

Overall, I really liked reading these chapters, and would be interested in doing a follow up later! Keep up the good work!
 

Umbramatic

The Ghost Lord
Location
The Yangverse
Pronouns
Any
Partners
  1. reshiram
  2. zygarde
Here for Review Blitz and Catnip! This is interesting. I've been told I'd like this one. So I'm going to dig in to the first chapter. Keep in mind my reviews tend to be blow by blow commentary followed by a summation at the end.

OK I already like the prose

Aeimlou IS a good njame

REALLY loving the xenofiction vibes here, this strange new body Aeimlou is dealing with... good shit

None of us understand, Aeimlou

Oh nooooooooooo he's all alone

mmmmm, delicious Magikarp

Berries will have to do yes. And a nap.

I like that I am still guessing what the fuck Aeimlou turned into.

Aeimlou moping in his own sorrow is a mood

At least predators fear him now.

A hyooman has found him! And it wants to help! Huzzah!

Hmmm, so Aeimlou is something from Hoenn....

The akwardness of the human tryinfg to help him is really amusing

"he would not like to be here anymore, he would like to live" is a mood

I'm guessing at this point Aeimlou is an oddly-colored Latios

Ah the good ol' head shake

"will you receive Pokeball good sir"

OK I love Aeimlou checking out his reflection and then accidentally getting sucked into a Pokeball. Real crow hours.

--------------------

This is just really fascinating and neat. The xenofiction vibes work really well with the sheer mystery of what happened to Aeimlou, and yet despite the xenofictictionvibes I could really feel and care for him. Poor guy. Hopefully the hyooman can help him a bit.

Thanks for posting!
 
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Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. growlithe
  6. quilava-fobbie
  7. sneasel-kate
  8. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, I had a good time with this fic last year, so swinging by for a quick double-feature before 2024 ends for me:

Chapter 4

Up above, hundreds of metres in the sky, Hoenn shone. The waters, mostly, which flowed in the gaps between land, almost seeming to crawl up the beaches and through the rivers to mainland mountains and lakes. The blue felt so solid and still from this height, but Latios had good memories of dipping down at speed, dragging a claw through the whitecaps and crashing through the larger waves with hardly a flinch except the cool shiver of seawater running through his feathers.

Well, that’s certainly a change of both setting and character. So this is the original, non-grayscale Latios, huh?

The land, too, seemed so green. In between routes carved through the land and all those new, human structures that shone also as if to compete with the sea.

Latios held a breath deep in his chest as he hovered amidst a mess of currents trying to drag him every which way.

This was the ideal place to view Hoenn, he believed, from so far above as to take in every aspect. Though he could not see the wingull diving, nor the gyarados thrashing, nor the lesser creatures cowering, he felt them intimately. A psychic hook in his chest that tried tugging him down amongst them, but hadn’t yet realised he’d been the fisherman this whole time.

He can breathe from this high up right now? .-.

He allowed himself the slightest of grins beneath a faint show of lips.

Wait, he has lips? As a bird-jet-dragon thing?
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That warmth also spoke to him of a great ambition—he could tell other creatures did not know the world as he did. Not even the other legends. He’d ascended so long ago; then, he had been awed. Now, he knew them.

Wait, wait, wait. Is this Midas from A Wonderful Leaf Boat? I wasn’t expecting that one, if so.

Speaking of, he’d felt a great psychic pulse of teleportation nearby. A signature very familiar to him, spry despite the way it increased gravity around him. One that always predicated preceded a childish giggle. It was why he’d stopped flying in the first place. He knew nothing would come of trying to avoid her. She had time enough to find his nest, to wait weeks for him to extricate himself from the company of Rayquaza or Latias and find himself alone.

And there she was. Mew. Drifting along through the winds as if they were a stream carrying her on a raft of leaves. As she passed below him, she opened her eyes. Regarded him with a childish curiosity, and once he saw his own reflection in them (scowling, always scowling in reflections) her tail flicked. She drew her paws from behind her head and she pretended to paddle through air until she hovered beside him.

Well, off they go.

Small word tweak that I’d suggest here. But, okay, yeah. This is totally Midas. Since both he and Mew are certainly familiar here.

“I’ve got some very interesting news for you,” she sing-songed.

Unfortunate that her mood was bright. Though she rarely had a bad day, the good ones meant lots of conversation of the most roundabout sort. Of course, she outstripped him in almost every way so he could only sigh and bear it.

“Don’t keep me in suspense.”

“That’s no fun.”

“News is never fun.”

Oh, so Midas is just [gardexhausted]-ing through this whole “what is it this time” sequence, huh?

She twirled around to his muzzle, eyes wide in fake shock. She tried tapping him on the nose, but he drew back and she tumbled forward instead, righting herself as if she meant to.

“You lack perspective.”

“Perspective?” he snorted. Did he not have the ideal perspective? He looked down once more, knowing that few others could look at Hoenn this way. “Don’t talk to me about perspective. You will never change my mind about anything, just tell me this news you think is so important.”

Midas: “Seriously, Mew. Just spit it out already.”
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“And isn’t that tragic?” she said, with no room for elaboration. “Meh. Whatever. We’ve got some new ascensions going around and I promised I’d tell you last time.”

Latios tilted his head up, drifting around to hide the thoughtful wrinkles striking his face. This was interesting news; she certainly didn’t lie about that. Of course, she knew his ambitions. She knew from his own ascension, from the first look in his eyes and the first catty smile she shared with him in some forgotten forest somewhere.

Wait, Midas has ambitions, now? That’s certainly new from what I remembered from A Wonderful Leaf Boat, unless I’m forgetting something here.

But he would not worry about her either way. This could be his moment. He whirled around, holding out his claws for her.

“Where is this creature?”

She only batted his offering away with her tail

“Oh, so eager,” she giggled, “what’s someone like you gonna do once I tell you, huh? Get yourself a playdate?”

He’s totally going to beeline straight for Aeimlou after learning about him, isn’t he?

He scowled. Playdate. How does one of the originals so fully miss the point?

Oh, so there is a class of Legendaries in this setting that have just been alive since the beginning of everything. Duly noted there.

“Don’t condescend to me. You have no idea who you’re talking to. My motives—my abilities; this creature could hold so much potential for me.”

He regarded her. Begged her to understand the poignancy of the situation she gave him. Hoped that she felt how his psychic whirled around him, cutting through the wind with expectation.

What he did not miss was the way her tail stilled.

“Oh, I know you.”

“You don’t.”

Midas: “Mew, I literally didn’t even start about what I was hoping to get out of the other uplifted creature.”
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“Is there irony in desperately reaching for the tippy-top of the pecking order while still wishing to stay invisible?”

“I’m above pecking orders already.”

Well, I suppose that that’s one sign there’s not presently a Latii herd in Hoenn at the moment.

“But you consider yourself a god.”

[ ]

“You know what I mean. I will not play semantics with you.”

Might make sense to show off a bit more of Midas’ annoyed reaction here to Mew.

She shrugged, floating closed until she left his vision. He refused to compromise his dignity by stretching his neck to follow her, but that didn’t seem to matter once he felt the soft brush of her fur against his back as she decided to sit on him.

He grumbled, seething internally.

I take it that getting toyed around with by Mew gets really old after the first thousand times that it happens.

“Who’s the king of dust in the land of dust? Is that you?”

Oh, save him, here come the riddles.

“I will not play riddles with you, either.”

“I’m just sayin’.” She straddled him now, her tail looping around a fin. “All the ants and primitive creatures operate on instinct so much that their suffering is different from yours. They will never feel this existential pain you do. So if you become the new rayquaza, I hope you can look back and laugh.”

Wait, wait, wait. Latios can get uplifted further into Rayquaza?
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Midas: “Mew, seriously! Stop beating around the bush already!”
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Really. Existential pain? Rayquaza?! Interesting. He felt no such thing, of course. He’d grown beyond that, too, since he’d ascended. And he intended to grow beyond Rayquaza, as well. All this proved was how little Mew had known him. It was odd for a single line to put into question an entire relationship, but that did it for him. And he could fire back with a new lightness he hadn’t felt since she’d ambushed him.

“I’d always hoped to replace you, actually.”

Whelp, time for that existential pain in 3… 2…

But she did not even tremble from her place on his back.

“Shows what I know, I guess.”

[ ]


“Indeed.”

Still, a bristle of something hot fired between them.

Probably makes sense to give a bit more idea of how Midas is doing, even if it’s a fakeout/false calm or something like that.

“I do know you, Midas.”

I KNEW IT

He fired back just as strongly, throwing her from his neck. She spun through the air, recovering feet away with a warning pout.

“Don’t,” he snapped, “call me that. Perhaps you should have gone to Rayquaza with this information, if only to spare me.”

Well, someone’s certainly different from the way he was at the end of A Wonderful Leaf Boat. Though it makes me wonder just how long Midas has been a Latios at this rate.

She tilted her head. Bit her tongue so it barely poked from her muzzle.

“Meh. He wouldn’t hear me like you would.”

“You can’t harass him like you do me, you mean.”

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[ ]

“You have potential.”

[ ]


“You don’t know me.”

Another spot where it probably makes sense to show off a bit more of the characters’ reactions here.

She flicked her tail at him, waggling a paw.

“I know you’re gonna go back to rayquaza once I tell you. You’re not even gonna tell him we had a chat, just dump all that context and all the other cool stuff we talk about and pretend like you figured it out on your own, because the protege potential—hah! Alliteration!--means more to you than icky things like ethics or morals or honesty and you’ll never even admit how much fun you had with me.”

He grit his teeth and turned back to Hoenn. Moments like these were the most frustrating ones with Mew. This baffling amount of insight set him on edge already, but she couldn’t help acting like a child, as if aching to prove her own incompetence. Even as the world seemed to grow still in her presence; it warped around her despite her own power. If that stunning psychic force that trailed behind her like a hurricane vanished, he was convinced that nature would bend regardless.

And he wanted that. Anyone would.

Well, that’s definitely different from how Midas used to be. Though I guess “higher, faster, stronger” really is the main pursuit left for a being with a “live until killed” lifespan.

“Just tell me where it is.”

[ ]


“You won’t like what you find. I don’t think you’ll have very much fun at all.”

Another spot where it might have made sense to get into Mew’s reaction a bit more.

As if he was looking for fun.

“Why even bring it up, then?”

“I think thought you could learn something.”

He scoffed.

“I have nothing left to learn.”

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She giggled.

“So arrogant. That settles it, I guess. They’re moving right now, buuuuuut…” She paused, brow furrowed, searching against the line of the horizon. Then she blinked, eyes widening. “Oh, wow! Another one! Cresselia’s already on that, too!”

He craned his neck sharply, trying to follow her gaze.

“Competition?”

Oh, so everyone’s making a mad dash for Aeimlou to try and make him their protege, huh?

“Who? Cresselia? Nope. If he’s who I think he is, she’ll be happy for the lack of competition. Probably take him on a beach vacation or somethin’. Good for her.”

[ ]


“I don’t care. Where are they?”

“Ah… Undella Bay, I think. All of them, too. What a coincidence! It’s funny how these things work out, isn’t it?”

I’ll just take that as a confirmation there. Though you know the drill re: the bracketed section.

He cursed. Undella Bay? He had no clue what that was. He knew only some of the towns in Hoenn, but judging on her direction this place existed far outside.

“And where is that?”

“You big baby. Go find a map or something.”

[ ]


“And if I can't read?”

“Then learn. Enrich yourself. You’ve got time.”

Midas:
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Mew: “Well, it looks like there is something left for you to learn after all, hmm?” :mewlulz:

Oh, how he wanted to throw her off into space. But just as he felt his psychic tighten in response to his rage, Mew gave him a wink and blinked off. Her own power shredded through his with simple activation, sending it limping through the winds.

Which left him alone once more. To the sound of his breathing and the creeping chill of night.

Hoenn shone beneath him.

So, so far away.

Oh boy. I can already tell that Midas bumping into Aeimlou is going to be… uh… an event, to say the least. :copyka:

Chapter 5

Isaac didn’t remember when he was born, but the events were told to him many times over with the sort of airs they got at service, one basking in nature, taking in all Mew had to offer with wide grins and open arms.

Oh, another creature uplifted into being a Legendary? Wonder who this will be.

“He’s got the fire inside him,” the priest, supposedly, said, holding a chunky, wailing baby that would one day grow lanky and awkward. “A blazing passion burning like the sun. For the love of pokemon. Thank Mew for imparting this miracle.” And he smiled and it glowed like the sun as well, blowing through his earthen robes and tinting them red.

Supposedly.

This is all a prank told by Mew’s end of things, huh? Though I wonder who on earth Isaac is at the moment.

At the beach house Isaac’s mother, Alma, had a designated armchair no one could touch. She sat at it on rainy days when stories like these were told. And she, as she often did, had some complaints. If Isaac were to list the general complaints she had about anything, he would never stop. The extended family often avoided her if they wanted to speak without being interrupted every thirty seconds.

Her important clarification was about the priest’s newness. This amateur had forgotten the important bit. What he’d been specifically told to say.

Oh, so Isaac is/was human… I think.

Alma would grumble it from her chair, interrupting his father as he told the story:

“I can sense greatness inside him.”

And she held it there and looked at Isaac as if waiting for a stormcloud to form above him.

It seemed redundant. Yet, as Mew created every living creature with great purpose and intent, so did every accident become purposeful. The priest hadn’t actually forgotten anything; it served something else’s plan.

Isaac wasn't sure he believed, but he still thought about that often.

Oh, so Mew has a whole track record of “uhh… yes, I totally meant to do that” throughout history, huh? I guess that we know that there’s some truth behind this tale given both Midas and Aeimlou’s present existences.

As he grew, he grew alongside trained pokemon. And these were trained. Winners in every sense of the word. They did not play. They did not laze about. His mother’s krookodile, especially, seemed more like a statue than a living creature. It stood beside her at all times, towering over everyone in the room. The family got used to it, but when guests came over they suffered through long silent spells, just staring it in those dark marblelike eyes while a fork dangled between their mouth and plate. Alma, of course, would spit and sneer at the idea that someone couldn’t handle a simple conversation without rudely breaking eye contact and the relationship would be ruined before it started.

Ah yes, goggle-like eyes that just stare straight into your soul. I can already see how that’d be off-putting.

Anyway, Isaac first got to observe them fighting from a distance. Hunkering in the forest on his little scuffed knees and watching them tear up the training plateau with sharp blasts of energy, swipes and stomps that threw up head-sized chunks of rock and rubble. And sent them through the trees and into the ocean with great splashes.

They got calls after. The ringing of phones underscored a lot of Isaac’s life. Especially watching from above, legs dangling through the upstairs railing, watching Alma rant down below, slam the headset back on the hook and stomp off only to return for another call seconds later.

Can’t tell if angry neighbors or else cops unamused by Alma casually endangering people by yeeting stuff through the forest and into the sea.

One day, her team was gone. Alma could not keep them anymore and she made sure everyone knew it by the many choice words she tongue-stuffed into the speaker of her phone, more vicious than ever. Isaac would not get to watch them anymore.

Whelp, I’ll take that as that being the police’s doings there.

By the time he was eight he transitioned instead to league coverage. If not being kicked out of his room and locked out of the house for the day, Alma watching sternly behind a sliding glass door, Isaac spent all day on matches. Old recordings of pre-Alder Unova, tapes from back in Johto’s heyday, that one great match between Cynthia and Steven that lasted nearly an hour—fall season, two thousand fifteen. Over and over, until the TV blanked out and reflected his wide-eyed, slack jawed wonder, looking for all the world like a beached magikarp. Later, he watched it on a new flat-screen all on his own.

Aha, so Alma was using Isaac as a means to vicariously accomplish her own goals that were snatched away from her. That totally sounds healthy and not like an instigating source of problems, I can already tell.

At fourteen he volunteered at the arena, redrawing the lines with a roller that rattled and sprayed chalky dust over the hard clay ground. He sneezed a lot that year. And the itchy dust got in his eyes and scratched them. Lucky, then, that he also volunteered at the pokemon centre when they lived at the beach house in Undella. He got some eyedrops there and when they didn’t work his parents got a light scolding and he got to see all the foreign pokemon and brought them water and food and snuck pictures when he thought nobody saw.

Huh. Definitely a perk of tending to vacation homes used by rich and experienced trainers.

At sixteen, he finally got the opportunity to do it himself. To climb the cliffs around Undella, look out over the shining sea and the flocks of squabbling wingull and tell himself…

Maybe he wasn’t ready.

I mean, don’t feel bad, Isaac. Like 99% of people are basically doomed to never get in the same hall as the Elite Four of a given region.

Those whitecaps looked sharp and the wingull screamed too loud and the sun blazed bright and stung his damaged eye and his legs ached just from climbing the staircase up (because he’d never quite made it up the cliff face).

But sixteen was a natural state for self-doubt. So said his father and his teachers and the guidance counsellor and the therapist. Alma, though; she must have heard his thoughts. Her hawlike vigil turned sharp in this period. And she always had that same tilt of the mouth that she did when someone got a story wrong.

Yeeeeeeah, I can already tell that Alma was a QUALITY™ parent to Isaac there.

It did not seem to surprise her when he moved back in at eighteen. He got no words. she‘d never given anyone comfort, but she seemed happy to let him drift in and out of the house, now. On her chair, with the demeanour of a starving liepard.

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His father, Natan, knocked on the door as he spent another day locked in his room. Ducking under the covers and refusing to face him made his face burn, but he’d been questioning his maturity for years anyways. So he could only hear Natan’s soft sigh and the way the bed sank as he sat at the other end.

“You can always try again. Rookies don’t often make it all the way first go.” he said, voice soft. Maybe he sensed the way Isaac’s heart sank, because he cut back in quickly. “And if that doesn’t work out, there’s… a lot more out there, y’know.”

Oh, so Isaac did make an attempt at the Unova League but flamed out. I can already see why Alma gave him the third degree all this time, since… yeah, she clearly isn’t ready to let her own vicarious ambitions go.

Isaac sat there in his sweat, insulated by his clothes and the thick layer of blanket. He breathed in the humidity and curled in on himself as Natan’s hand landed softly on his shoulder. Then, a shake. Another sigh. Natan’s weight left the bed. Isaac counted to ten and chanced a peek only to find him waiting in the doorframe, tired eyes obscured by thick-rimmed glasses.

“You have a purpose, Isaac. Maybe it’s not training, but that… it could be anything. Believe that.”

He’s going to wind up bumbling into Aeimlou in this chapter, isn’t he?

Isaac watched him scratch a cheek, half-shuffle out the room and hesitate a couple times before finally letting the door clamp shut.

He thought very deeply about those words, too, but only felt the emptiness of them.

Oh, so Natan was obviously giving a rehearsed speech to try and make him feel better. That obvious, huh? :copyka:

Isaac remembered the summer. He stood out on the Undella beachside, reffing for the trainers that shouted commands over the surf. The sand itched as it got in his socks and the sun burned as it poured over his arms and the sea smelled awful through the morning rot of yesterday’s seaweed washup. He could not complain about these things, though he often did on his own. And bit his tongue in the company of family, who stared at him over the dinner table, baffled, blinding stares reduced in the overhead light of the beachhouse’s chandelier.

Oh, so Isaac comes from wealth family-wise. I suppose that would explain a thing or two about how they were able to push him towards a life path of pro training.

Did summer vacations used to be fun? He liked Anville Town more. It was not that much changed: replace the sound of the sea with the trains, and the smell of smoke, and they registered about the same--but he could be alone there. He knew the forests around it, and if he wanted to vanish for a couple days he could. Where could he go in Undella? The pokemon center?

On rainy days the nightmare stretched on forever as everyone fought over the same board games. They were so overused that every unfolding threatened to split them in half. The family would do about the same.

Some small tweaks here and there, though IMO this paragraph seemed like it could be split up fairly naturally.

But these things were growing less important.

All he could do now was watch the ceiling. Don’t twitch. Don’t speak. Don’t remind yourself of what the nightmare’s done to you. Hope that this all turned out to be a dream and wait for a prayer to come that proved it.

Yeeeeeah, I had a feeling that Isaac’s childhood wasn’t exactly happy. This more or less confirms it.

Temptation crept in.

He could not help but lift a hand up to the flickering of his bedroom light.

As he woke up from the nightmare, he knew it had warped him. Sometimes he twitched a finger and the warm touch of fingers against palms instead felt chill and sharp. He’d once narrowly evaded the cold spike of a night slash against his leg—close enough to cut through his pant leg, stain his ankle black and leave a lingering chill for weeks.

Wait, whaaaaaaat?

He would never forget the feeling.

Or the jagged black silhouette floating between him and the light.

Whaaaaaaaat?
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An ice blue eye stared back at him in the mirror, shaking, pupil small as a pinprick.

He fixated, Trying to breathe so softly the image wouldn’t move. But a flicker of the ceiling light caught him. He tensed. Then shivered as he saw it reflect, breaking the image like ripples in a pond. The form seemed to ripple, too, body something not quite solid. Even those legs—which were more like briefly-tangible stilts that brought no sensation at all as they walked him across the floor. Until they vanished. And he nearly slammed his head on the dresser counter trying to catch himself on the way down. He could float if he kept his concentration, though it felt like an infinite fall.

Oh, hello, Darkrai. That was certainly an unexpected turn of events.

Everything else felt so alien—the white wisp blowing from his head like smoke; a red crest jutting in front of his face, letting him hide behind it. It looked like some monster’s dislocated jaw and a trace of the claw showed it felt uncomfortably like flesh—spongy, but solid, tensing as he pressed it. And the yelp and alarming spike of pain as a claw sank in.

He spent a good while, claws raised at the mirror. Waiting. For the reflection to make a move, maybe. Obviously it never happened; much as he wanted to smash it, the trembling shadow monster in the mirror robbed him of any fire. Here, it had weak arms, a backlight that cut through its body like sun through mist, a terrified eye and all the posturing of a newborn girafarig. Behind it, the beachouse bedroom’s glass wall let in a quaint early-spring Undella landscape, with all the gentle waves and bright sand and pokemon playing in the surf.

Oh. Oh. So Isaac was uplifted into Darkrai. That must make family reunions awkward.
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In the nightmare, it struck something in him. It loomed over him. Those claws cut into his hand as he took them and his lungs shrank until he wilted like a deflating balloon.

Out here, it was pathetic. Some scared, wild thing he’d stumbled into traipsing through the brush.

“Hello?” he said. Not in his own voice, but the heavy bass and scratchiness reminded him less of a monster and more of himself at fifteen going through puberty. He tore away from the mirror, shrinking in on himself before he remembered those claws and extracted them again.

So, Isaac’s about to have a spell of
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moments in like 2 seconds, huh?

He spent the rest of the morning sitting on the bedside and pretending not to exist. Sometimes pokemon passed on the beach or boardwalk below, alone. He hardly saw another—well, a human for hours. When he did—one of the white-dressed nurses from the pokemon centre—he wasn’t sure whether to duck behind the bed or give a shy wave. But it didn’t matter. She hurried by, swaddled in her own scrubs, face against the wind, head drawn down too low to spot him. It seemed cold outside, but his last memories were of summer.

He must’ve slept for a long time.

Uh… are you sure that that you were sleeping there, Isaac? :copyka:

Big, blocky letters spun on screen, slamming forward with impact as if they’d actually ran into the glass. Unovan International. UI. On a screen that nearly swallowed the whole wall, the sound of it rattled through the surround sound into his bones.

His bones. Did he even have bones anymore?

Can’t tell if Isaac or if Aeimlou right now. I suppose we’ll find out shortly.

The letters spun off again, revealing four men, all clean cut with too-small suits riding up on their shoulders and showing mismatched socks under polished shoes that dangled beneath the presenter’s desk. They talked, smiling politely the whole time. Every minute or so they’d cut to a new clip. None of which Isaac recognised.

He tried to squint at the faces of trainers on either side of the arena, find something there. Nothing. Some later ones were against Iris—always of a braviary or stoutland or something ducking beneath dark lasers unleashed from the mouths of her hydreigon. He settled there, on some new blonde-haired Unovan stepping out onto the field and facing Iris with a smile.

Nevermind, still Isaac here. Though I like how he’s just casually snooping in on a corporate board meeting right now.

Championship fights had already started. He almost lifted a hand to rub his eyes, but flinched away from it as the black claws entered his vision.

He’d been out for months. It’s strange that he’d be more disappointed for having missed most of training season and the off season, but…

Well, he struggled to feel anything. Like being dragged under, the weight of water keeping him down, chilling him.

The moral of the story is that being a Darkrai really, really sucks.

He shimmied further into the couch’s embrace as the graphic came back. Then faded out to models sprinting across the beach in shiny new tracksuits. NEWSTEP slapped onto screen with just as much force. As the commercial faded to black again, he caught his reflection for a second and almost had a heart attack.

Oh. Oh. So he’s watching TV right now. That one took me a while for me to put two and two together.

He blinked away his fear, coughed awkwardly and looked around the living room as if anyone was there to see. Maybe he wasn’t as settled as he’d like to be. Maybe he should do the smart thing and learn something about his new body instead of sitting around. But then he looked down at his claws again.

Fuck that. He’d rather watch TV. Even as pricks of panic dug into his shoulders and threatened to choke him. And shockingly, hours later, when his vision turned bleary and the long moments when he had to shut his eyes forced his nightmare to rip across the back of his eyelids, it was not the panic that interrupted him.

A knock sounded at the door.

Ah yes, the side effects of uplifting a modern human into a Legendary Pokémon. I can only imagine the shenanigans to be had if Mew had deigned to make Isaac Latios just for the hilarity of a big bird-jet-dragon going full shut-in in front of the TV.

Isaac froze. He dug his fist into the pleather couch cushion and winced as it tore. The thought that someone had come to open the beach house struck him. Then he realised they wouldn’t knock if they had. His second thought was to say nobody’s home. He would’ve meant it seriously and it would’ve been humiliating, so thank Mew he hadn’t, but that still left him staring helplessly at the door.

Another knock sounded. Heavy, like some gothic door knocker that they certainly didn’t have. It did not sound human.

Isaac:
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Still, he found himself clambering up the side of the couch, shredding up the sides as he tried to hover and kept failing.

He did make it to the foyer. Eventually. It must have taken a half hour and had him drag himself across the tile floor as he exhausted himself trying to hover. The knocking never stopped. Evenly, every minute or so it rang through the house again.

Isaac: “For crying out loud, who on earth even stays at a door for this long?” >_>;

There, he dragged himself onto the empty shoe shelf. He had a blurry view out the frosted window stretching from the door’s side—floor to ceiling, and to another chandelier dangling above him. Darkness stretched on outside. Even if he could make out the shapes beyond the window, it would remain a silhouette against the dull blue glow of the television still streaming across the house.

Isaac: “Okay, yeah, I’m going to just close the door, go watch some Friends re-runs and try to put this nightmare behind me already.”
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He huffed, slumped against the wall, out of breath, and wasted even more time thinking of what to say. But the knocking came louder right next to the door and his patience wore to threads.

Fuck it. If they wanted to kill him, why bother knocking?

inb4 this turns out to be Mew.

Stretching over with a shaky claw and a groan, he barely flipped the lock and leaned against the handle when the door flung open and forced him back against the wall.

In a harsh slam and stomping footsteps that shook Isaac more than they did the furniture, a bisharp entered. And entered might be a soft word: really, it strode through as if the door weren’t there a second ago, those thick, clawlike feet cutting deep lines in solid tile. It paused, towering at least a couple feet over Isaac as he sat, flashing a glance from over its shoulder.

Down, over the gleaming silver claws and blades that reflected harsh moonlight and Isaac forced himself deeper in the wall and felt the sick bubble of anxiety in his gut as death stared him down. Sharp mandibles cut against each other in its mouth and dark, human eyes narrowed once Isaac locked onto them.

Isaac: “Um… hi there?”
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But quickly as it came, the bisharp brushed him off, carried on into the house. The harsh clanking of metal followed in its wake and left it surveying the area—to the open kitchen island, and living room all bathed in the TV’s light; to the lobby and staircase beside, climbing up to a glimpse of the hallway and the bedrooms beyond. But it seemed almost instantly bored. It shook its head, the axelike blade flashing wet like blood in the light, then turned back to Isaac.

Uh… did this ‘mon just kill something a little while ago? .-.

“I felt your size,” it said, in a voice Isaac felt he shouldn’t understand—all clicking and shearing, almost industrial and grating.

Isaac still understood, though. And nodded dumbly for no particular reason.

Which elicited little more than a twitch, somehow conveying such intense displeasure that Isaac itched.

“So?” it asked, sharply.

Isaac: “So what? I literally don’t know what’s going on right now.” .-.

“Uhm… hello.” Isaac said. He could not pretend to be comfortable, but without threat of death, the danger trickled away and he relaxed enough to talk. “Why are you in my house?”

“To challenge you.”

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Oh yeah, this will totally end well, I’m sure.

Isaac blinked. He looked around the room, for whichever invisible person the bisharp might be speaking to. Then deeper in the house when that failed—to the games chest, with a chessboard carved into the top.

“To chess? Ah… what? I mean…” The bisharp seemed so human standing there in the lobby, with such an intelligence in its eyes that Isaac forgot how pokemon usually challenged each other. He held up his claws, then. “I can’t fight. Uh… sorry.”

They kept eye contact for an uncomfortable time. Isaac wanted to slam his head into the floor. Sorry. That’s what you say to someone who broke into your house to fight you. Right.

I wonder how often this occurs with Bisharp in Unova anyways.

“Come here,” it said.

Despite himself. Or, more likely, because of all the prominent blades, Isaac found it an easy command to obey.

In theory.

Can’t tell if this is going to result in Isaac becoming a Darkrai paté, or if he’s going to have a lucky break and bumble his way into using Dark Void to save himself.

In practice, he trembled too much trying to right himself. Anything less than complete concentration would not let him float or materialise anything to walk with, so he managed to clamber up the wall and take a single step before crumpling back to the floor, a jarring slam that left him face up to the lofty ceilings.

The bisharp filled his vision moments later, those heavy, pillar-like legs leading up through a maze of knives and an unimpressed stare.

Isaac: “Um… can I forfeit?”
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Bisharp: - checks blades - “No.

“It seems my journey was pointless. I’ve won.”

But its voice kept flat. Even as it drew up a foot and dug it into Isaac’s chest until he wheezed, the bisharp’s claws drooped at its side.

“What—” Isaac started, then wheezed again as the bisharp withdrew, “do you want?”

“To challenge you. To defeat you. I hardly had to try, you seem weakened.”

I mean, he’s not wrong there.

“You don’t know me. I’m not, like, a threat. Or anything. I’m just some guy.”

“I felt your size,” it repeated.

“I don’t know what that means.”

But the bisharp didn’t seem interested in explaining. It wandered off, stepping into the kitchen and leaving Isaac to draw up on his elbows, the shadowy mass of his body whipping about of its own accord.

“Excuse me?” he continued.

Isaac: “What you were saying earlier. I… didn’t understand what you meant by that. How do you feel size?” ._.;

Not that it got much response. The bisharp had already thrown open the fridge door, bathing the kitchen in a white glow and letting a chill breeze creep along the floor. The fridge was empty, of course, so it grunted and shut it shortly after. Then it set its sights on the TV, drifting into the living room, planting its claws on its hips and tracing the battle playing out on screen.

Isaac just sat there, blinking.

“Hey,” he said. He meant to shout, but hesitated and overthought it and the word sort of limped out quietly. The bisharp still heard it, though, judging by a flippant wave of the claw. “Can you… leave? I mean, if you're finished. Please.”

Bisharp:
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“You have no way to challenge me.”

[ ]


“I just— I was asking. I don’t have anything for you.”

Bisharp: “Well, you have this sweet den that you’re clearly in no shape to defend on your own right now.”

“I will not leave unless you force me.”

“Oh,” Isaac muttered.

Which left him on the floor, watching the bisharp linger beside the couch like it owned the place. The TV roared, shoutcasters punching through the tension with their usual rounds of cheers. Strobe graphics and canned cheers played over the fallen form of Iris’ hydreigon.

I just realized, but was that blonde-haired kid supposed to be Bianca? Though I like how Bisharp is basically speedrunning Isaac’s lived experience with Alma being domineering and controlling his life in live-time here.

Even despite finding some brief elation, he sniffed and idly traced the bisharp’s form in dust on the ground.

The situation hadn’t quite struck him yet. Though maybe that wouldn’t change much; he always got looks for what he thought was important. Yes, he cried more when Hilda dropped from the championship than when Nana died. Sometimes he cried, sometimes he just thought. And back then, he thought it was not sad that she died. She was old. He knew what happened when people got old.

Well then. Though I suppose if she ‘dropped’ she was never defeated. Even if I wonder what the occasion for that was. Going off to chase N around? Aeimlou?

The audience cheered again, as if to agree. Or to urge him.

Time to move, they shouted. With the waving of flags and blaring of vuvuzelas.

So he made a lot of noise trying, but with a while to calm down and the endless support of the TV, he crawled himself up the wall and managed to float again. And with minimal scratches on the pristine white walls. And with a limp self-pat on the shoulder.

Progress!

The bisharp, of course, watched the whole thing solidly, not bothering to lend a hand, let alone a word. It also watched a wobbly Isaac hover into its space and plop down on the couch again with a quiet sigh, snuggling into the warm corner he’d left.

And now what? It still wasn’t leaving.

“How long are you staying?”

[ ]


“Until I get the fight I wanted.”

“You’re staying forever?”

Bisharp:
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It raised up a claw and clacked it. Isaac got the impression of a betrayal, holding on to his rope, dashed against the side of a cliff by rain and wind, only to look up and see the bisharp with his lifeline between its claws.

That claw dropped like a dead fish. “Until I die. There are no other chances like this. I will let you heal, first.”

Isaac: “... I feel like there’s somebody that I’m supposed to call during moments like these, but I can’t think of anything.” .-.
Bisharp: “Again, if you want this den so badly. Prove your worth and fight for it.”

Isaac blinked. The vision morphed back into boring, mundane reality. Only, what the fuck was he talking about? Boring, mundane, reality. Okay. He still had no clue what was happening.

“Okay,” he repeated. To himself.

The bisharp nodded.

He nodded

Thay sat and watched TV…

I feel as if this would make for an interesting prompt to some sort of sitcom in Pokéworld.

A bird’s-eye of the arena faded into shakycam in the lockers, rows of flushed faces straining to fight past each other and make it into focus. But the camera had its sights only on the winner, and followed him out.

…and kept watching…

It was the blonde kid. Den Mercer, who smiled with all the confidence in the world and wore a coating of dust and sweat as battlescars from commanding the field. He had a belt of basic red-and-white pokeballs and department store track pants and teeth with a slight hint of yellow and years without braces.

Oh, that’s not Bianca there.

…until focusing stung and tears started to pool and roll down Isaac’s cheeks. [ ]

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fight you.”

“Then I will die.”

[ ]


“Don’t… do that. That’s— that’s not great.”

Some more spots where it probably makes sense to get a bit more into Isaac’s head or else play up Bisharp’s reactions a bit.

But the bisharp had some unreadable expression beneath all those moving mandibles. It—

Hold on.

“Sorry, what gender are you?” Isaac asked.

It blinked.

“I mean—” Isaac shifted uncomfortably, sniffling and rubbing his eyes until they stopped stinging, suddenly hoping the couch could swallow him whole. “I’ve been calling you it this whole time.”

So Bisharp are apparently hard for human-turned-Darkrai (and presumably normal humans) to sex. Duly noted.

It kept blinking. “You haven’t referenced me at all.”

“Uh, in my mind, I mean.”

“I don’t care what you think.”

Oh. That’s good. But it didn't answer the question. [ ]

“Soooo…” he started, dragging it out in hopes the bisharp would jump in with an answer. But he only stared a good minute until Isaac ran out of breath and sputtered out, wheezing and coughing awkwardly.

Another spot where it might make sense to expand on Isaac’s inner thought process here.

Only then did it chime in with a gruff: “I am male,” and continue to look at Isaac like a housefly buzzing around his head.

“Cool. I mean, I guess it doesn’t matter. I should’ve asked your name first,” he mumbled and, learning from last time, capped it off, “so what’s your name?”

“That has no relevance—”

Isaac: “But you do have a name, right? Since I could see the way you reacted there.”

“I’m never going to fight you. Probably—and if you’re going to stay here forever or until you… until I find a way to get you to leave, then I think it’s good if I know what to call you.” Isaac paused. “I’m Isaac.”

The bisharp—now a he and a real, looming presence in Isaac’s life—turned. The roar of the tv drowned in the intensity of his stare.

“Call me King.”

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Though I suppose he’s earned it for the time being, especially from his perspective where he’s managed to cow a god into line.

Alright, made it to the end, and I’ll fully admit that I wasn’t expecting the plot to jump away so abruptly from Aeimlou. That said, the content that you did roll out here was still a lot of fun, especially as we get to see that Aeimlou’s transformation is a bit less fluke-y than initially presumed and get to see a few other creatures that have similarly been uplifted into Legendary Pokémon and how they’re doing in the present day. Midas in particular showing up again was fun to see. In spite of the commonality of their backgrounds, they all feel very different from each other and from Aeimlou, so it’s kept the overall premise feeling quite fresh, even if I’m not fully sure how they’re all going to wind up intersecting with one another down the road.

There were a couple small typos here and there that I noticed in these chapters. The bigger issue, especially in Chapter 2 is that you seemed to pass up on a number of opportunities to expand things out in narration. It was less an issue with scene-setting in particular and moreso with getting into the heads of different characters and some moments where transitions between moods and emotional states read as being a tad abrupt, but that’s something that can ultimately be fixed with additive editing.

Glad to be back in this story again @tomatorade . I’m not sure just how far I’ll get into things during Review Blitz since I kinda have a full plate at the moment, but I’ll definitely be back for more of Aeimlou and the gang’s tales sometime in the next two weeks. ^^
 

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
  8. meganium
  9. namo-rock
Hey tomato! This one's a review that, thanks to how short these chapters are, takes me all the way through chapter six! I'll be doing it mostly stream of consciousness as I read through the chapters.

First thing I want to say is this is such a fascinating premise. What if a raven spontaneously became a Latios? At least that's my guess. It's so interesting to see. At first, I thought it was a Latios in the real world, but the latter half of the chapter puts us in Hoenn, so it's a world with regular animals in addition to Pokemon.

One thing I appreciate about this opener is it skips past the buildup and just goes with the premise from the perspective of the former raven. The first few scenes of the shallow grief and not comprehending what grief is, to finally meeting the human, was very well written.

The second chapter keeps carrying this momentum. In general, it's very interesting to see. He's imbued with the knowledge of human language and can innately understand a thing or two, but when it comes to putting that basic knowledge into broader concepts, it all falls short. The way you handle it is super interesting and has me turning to the next scene quickly. I like the way you depict Juniper and Hilda from that foreign-mind perspective. I get what's going on and simultaneously understand how he sees it. That's very well done.

I'm in general kind of surprised by Hilda's rants and disposition in chapter 3. She seemed a lot nicer in the first chapter but I guess a lot changed without me noticing by the time the third chapter rolled around. Still, it came as quite a surprise overall, especially for someone who supposedly convinced N of the goodness of people and Pokémon or something along those lines, what with the Team Plasma reference. It's just an odd characterization for her.

The idea of being a starter Pokémon for a Pokémon is pretty funny. What with how well they communicate with humans, though, I do wonder why they found it to be so absurd when surely Pokémon train other Pokémon all the time in a setting like this.

Interesting... we have Latios, one of the much older ones, a former mortal, for the fourth chapter. That's quite a change of pace, though the way the gods intentionally speak vaguely and the narration giving so little means I'm sort of trying to navigate in the dark how the pantheon works. Replacement, ascension, being very old, it seems like these potentials happen in waves and there's a way to promote? I'm not really sure how much of that works, but I guess there's a lot more to learn. Maybe it'll be explained a little more in time, but right now this chapter has too much intentionally obfuscated by vague word choice and sentence structure.

I did think it was funny how Latios said he had nothing more to learn, followed shortly by admitting he didn't know how to read.

The next chapter is now bouncing to a new character, Isaac. There's a lot of summary narration giving this one a lot of backstory, which is in stark contrast to the first few chapters and first two perspectives that either had little backstory at all, or had most of it hidden away.

This one is so distant, though, that I kind of struggled to get in his head for much of the chapter. I hardly know what he looks like, and because this seems to be the first human perspective, I actually wasn't sure he was human at first. After all, we had a Latios apparently formerly known as Midas, but he doesn't know how to read, suggesting either he's an ancient human with a different script and never learned over the ages, or a named creature. Just something to note about how differently Isaac's first chapter is presented.

The second half seems to allude to an odd nightmare causing him to transform into a Darkrai. I guess that explains why Cresselia would be going there for one reason or another, if that hint from the last chapter is anything to go by. Then a Bisharp arrives after a minimum of being out for six months (did anyone even think to search for him? Anything?) And seems to do some kind of... Pokémon culture thing about imposing a fight and waiting for this opportunity. It seems Pokémon have an innate sense for gods, is the impression I'm getting from that.

And in the next chapter, Isaac investigates himself on the Internet but seems to fall short. And we also get the revelation that he's been pronounced dead for a year and then some...

One thing that pinged me as odd and contrived was that Isaac didn't actually try to talk to the one nurse he thought might understand or something. I don't get why he didn't just turn back or try to talk more.

But then we get to training, and it seems like we're going to be following Isaac more as another protagonist in what I imagine will be interweaving stories between various ascended Legends as they discover themselves and their presumably new roles in society.

Now that I'm done with my reading session for now, I'm so very curious what this all means going forward. The premise is presented as just that, a premise, but it feels like there might be more to it. Maybe it's just a force of nature or some other divine phenomenon, but I wonder if there will be a bit more lore behind why this happens or why it happened all at once. It seems too curious to totally ignore, at least, for a multi-chapter work. It also seems like Mew knows the answer, or has alluded to it, with Latios and Mew discussing it like some new odd weather. Aside from seeing the main leads crossing paths, I'm most hoping to see some lore on why this happens at all.

This is one of the most unique stories I've read in a while, at least in the corners that I read from. I'm definitely going to pop by and see where this story goes from here later in blitz, perhaps week 4 when we're revisiting other stories. Really good job with this so far, with your strongest point being carrying the premise forward in different ways for the two current main leads. I'll be back for more later, and thanks for the read!
 

Negrek

House of Two Midnights
Staff
It is CRIMINAL that I haven't done a better job of keeping up with this fic! Love all these weird little guys with their numerous personal problems, some of whom have accidentally become gods. It's great to see them all converge and start to bounce off one another in these more recent chapters.

Thus far the fic has been primarily concerned with introducing the characters and world, so I'll mostly be talking characters in this review. At this point my favorite is probably Hilda; I love that she showed up to a house expecting Darkrai, found Darkrai, Cresselia, and another Latios, and just went "fuck this, this is ridiculous" and peaced out of there to let the mon sort it out for themselves. Legend. I'm curious where the story's going to take her. It seems like she's probably not going to be able to avoid getting saddled with legend problems in the future, so maybe it'll be more about accepting that role (talent?) and overcoming her bitterness at how her life's played out. Or perhaps she's going to end up as angry and frustrated at the end of everything as she is at the moment, who knows? I think her blunt "getting shit done" approach adds a lot to the story, especially in contrast to characters like Isaac who mostly just want to lie around and hope for things to stop happening to them soon.

I do love Isaac, though. Someone get that guy a hug and some serious therapy. Cresselia showing up seems like it's probably going to be a net negative for him--I really don't trust her, and Hilda's reaction upon seeing her at the beachhouse only reinforced my unease. At least she's getting Isaac to sleep a bit, though; the poor guy definitely needs it. I feel so bad for his upcoming disillusionment over Hilda; the bit where he's fangirling over how cool and confident she is was so funny and so painful. Oh, buddy. You just have absolutely no idea.

I thought it was interesting that Cresselia referred to the former Darkrai "choosing" Isaac for the role, since I was under the impression that ascension tends to be pretty random. Doesn't seem to square with the disdain the former Darkrai showed for him in the dream, too, if that's actually what was going on there. Not sure if Cresselia's lying/mistaken, or whether the idea is less that the ascension is totally random than that it seems random from the perspective of the people it happens to and they have no say in the matter.

And of course, I have to give big props to my man Aeimlou, who continues to be a delight. He strikes me as the PERFECT character to play off Midas. Their value systems are just completely at odds, and I sense that Midas is going to be totally unequipped to deal with someone like Aeimlou who will cheerfully just tune him out or intentionally rile him up according to his level of boredom, and who has basically no concerns in life other than amusing himself. Big egos tend not to respond well to people who don't even have the concept of respect or deference, and Aeimlou does not even give a single fuck about how important Midas thinks he is (or should be). And of course, if Midas does manage to teach Aeimlou how to use invisibility or his various other latios abilities to a greater extent, that's going to be an absolute nightmare for everyone except Aeimlou himself. I await the result with eager anticipation. Meanwhile...




I am amused by how Aeimlou's name morphs around throughout the fic, but if you want to avoid this kind of thing, adding it to your word processor's dictionary would probably help. :P

Poor Atlas, though, finally starting to come to terms with the fact that Aeimlou likes him a lot but also just does not share a lot of Atlas' values or concerns. Atlas seems to be in a really lonely spot; things are tense between he and Hilda, he doesn't seem to have much interest in the rest of Hilda's team, and other than that... what's even out there for a powerful psychic blob of Jell-o? I really don't know what to expect for him in the future, but I hope it ultimately works out to be positive. Precious blob.

It's too bad that Atlas can't communicate with King, because it seems like a conversation between those two would be VERY interesting. I still don't have a real great read on King, and he was pretty absent in this recent run of chapters, but he clearly has Thoughts about human/pokémon relations. Some really horrifying ones, I sense, but that would make it all the more fun for he and Atlas to have it out about their respective philosophies.

Finally, I want to shout out some appreciation to Danial, who I think adds a really interesting layer to the story. The first scene where he engages with Hilda was great; I love the blend of contempt and fear she has for him, where it's clear that at least some of her anger is an attempt to take back control from this guy who can just show up whenever he likes and completely ruin her day. Hilda's attitude towards all things legend and champion-ish makes a lot of sense when you realize she's been dealing with bugs and tails and government spooks as a result of everything going on with Zekrom and Reshiram. Danial comes across as personally rather pathetic, but nonetheless an ominous sign of a much larger problem. There's no way the Unovan government's going to be able to ignore four legends (so far) camping out in Undella. I have no idea what they might actually do about it, but surely it's nothing good! Danial's presence adds a bit of background tension and a lurking sense of pressure to the antics of everybody else.

I'm really curious to see where Part Two takes us! Part One was mostly about getting the major players in place and letting the characters bounce off each other a bit; now they've pretty much all met, so what comes next? It seems like Midas and/or Danial are the ones who'll have to drive the action in the next section, since they're the ones with clear agendas that seem the most likely to upend everything. Or perhaps King will move on from overturning the beach house and make some play of his own? He's a real wildcard to me; not sure what's going on with that guy. It was very satisfying to see everybody come together in the most recent chapter. Now you've set yourself up with an explosive mix of characters with their own agendas and foibles that are sure to put them at cross purposes, and I can't wait to see where it all goes from here. Thus far the story has been mostly the different characters vibing and getting to know each other, which I get the sense is where you're most comfortable in writing, but we seem poised to move into a somewhat higher stakes mode. I'm looking forward to seeing how you make that shift... or if I'm totally wrong and things go in a completely different direction! Whatever ultimately happens, I think you've put yourself in a strong position for the next piece of the story.

I had a lot of fun catching up with this fic, and I really do hope to stay more on top of updates in the future! This is a rare gem of a fic, with intriguing and well-realized characters and a fresh, engaging premise, and I hope we'll get to see more of it this year. Thanks for sharing this one with all of us!
 
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