Pokémon The Vaporeon Cycle: Frost Spirals

[val-triplicate]

It took another day for the starving and exhausted Vaporeon to reach Basin City. She dreaded to imagine how she must look after all that walking and slipping on the mud. At least the frequent rain kept her mostly clean, even if it made her traction that much worse.

Vaporeon paused once the gates were in sight to check her supplies. She was well out of food by this point, but she did still have some useful battle items. Her paw rubbed across the Escape Orb in particular – she was never going to let herself be without one again.

A Bisharp whittled a block of stone as he stood in front of the gate. Annoying, maddeningly annoying, but also the first person she'd seen in days. She needed the practice anyway. Just focus on the band and walk past.

BISHARP: Mm? Hey, wait!
VAPOREON: WHAT. What can... I help you with?
BISHARP: Mm. Sorry if startled you, ma'am.
BISHARP: There were just some folks looking for you.
VAPOREON: There were, huh.
BISHARP: Mhm. A Jolteon, and Xatu.
BISHARP: Former said he'd be in the Charged Inn. Electric Street.
BISHARP: Latter's obviously at the guild. Dead center.
VAPOREON: Hmph. Thanks.
VAPOREON: Like, thanks. Genuinely.
VAPOREON: Anywhere good to eat? Has to be cheap.
BISHARP: Mm. Phox's Pho. Psychic Court.
BISHARP: No idea how she stays in business. Too nice, that one.
VAPOREON: Okay. Thanks for your help.

Vaporeon took off at a brisk pace before she'd even finished talking. It was humiliating, having to manage her emotions and her words, but it was the only way to prevent another breakdown. Her dark thoughts still bubbled and broiled in her mind. She didn't deserve to act like a person, she was sure, but the next moment she was just as sure that everyone else was beneath her.

It took a full minute of calming focus to shake off the thoughts and realize she'd arrived. She didn't know how she'd checked the sign above the door without even noticing, but the heavenly smells may have helped. A slight purple smoke wafted out of the place, dissipating on contact with the outside air. Strange, but... she was here for new experiences after all.

The interior was darker than she'd expected, with magical glittering stars on every surface providing most of the lighting. Despite the thin smoke covering the room and the eccentric decor, the darkness made the place feel almost understated. It wasn't overwhelming, except perhaps with novelty. She made her way to a seat before anyone could corner her into eye contact. A vulpine woman danced up, her voice paradoxically mysterious and modest.

Vaporeon shrunk back away from the fox. This was a mistake... she couldn't handle people right now. She couldn't handle the kind look in her eyes, and she most certainly didn't deserve it. The fox, however, only smiled wider.

DELPHOX: ☆ A new customer! How may I help you? ☆
VAPOREON: A-ah... I was looking to get a warm meal.
VAPOREON: I've been traveling alone for a- a day or two...
DELPHOX: ☆ Oh, you poor dear! ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Thwackey will yell at me for this, but the first one's on the house. ☆

Vaporeon quivered with guilt. Another damn psychic, treating her like a lost child. She tried to protest, but Delphox deftly ushered her into a booth before she could. She started to read the menu instead.

DELPHOX: ☆ Go ahead and pick whatever you'd like! ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ I always recommend the Special Sweet'n Spicy Seafood Soup, if you're stuck. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ You can't go wrong with the seafood in Basin City! ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Even if it's a little harder to source these days. ☆

The names on the menu were ridiculous, but she couldn't deny how good they looked. Vaporeon wasn't sure how well she could handle spicy food, but she figured the suffering would be cathartic if nothing else. Anything to feel something after all that walking.

VAPOREON: Uh... one of those soups, some spring rolls and something soft to drink, please.
DELPHOX: ☆ Certainly! A soft drink... perhaps a lychee smoothie? ☆

Her mouth watered unbidden. She hadn't gotten a full sense of what she liked yet, but it seemed her body remembered just fine. Lychee, it urged her, was the nectar of the gods.

VAPOREON: Y-yes please...
DELPHOX: ☆ Ah, and one more thing, since you're new here... ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Some customers like when we give them a brief scan to tailor their food better. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ I can get your spice tolerance and add the herbs you'll like, but it's optional. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ I promise the food will be good either way! ☆

Vaporeon froze, her face radiating horror. This could bring the whole thing down on her. It could be Espeon all over again, or worse, Persian. Yet... she couldn't afford to keep herself locked away anymore. She had to start being vulnerable somewhere. Where better than with learning a bit about her own tastes?

VAPOREON: Be- be VERY careful.
VAPOREON: I just- there's shit in there you really don't want to see. Trust me.
DELPHOX: ☆ Of course, darling. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ I don't look into any memories, just some scattered neuron connections. ☆

If Espeon had pressed her hands firmly into her chest, Delphox's intrusion was a feather.

VAPOREON: You're the most gentle psychic I've met.
VAPOREON: That feels almost pleasant...
DELPHOX: ☆ Ah – I think it's best if we make this soup mild. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ No worries at all, plenty of our regulars swear it's better that way. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ It looks like you might prefer the smoothie colder than normal, as well. ☆
VAPOREON: As cold as you can make it, please...
DELPHOX: ☆ Ho ho. I would warn you not to give Frigibax that kind of request, but I can see you can handle it. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Coming right up! ☆

Delphox walked away, her movements like a dance. She stopped by a few more tables for orders before retreating into the kitchen. Vaporeon pressed her chin to the table to sulk. Successful conversation, she supposed. She felt like utter trash, but at least she'd gotten through it so far.

The chatting of the other patrons droned on as she waited, but soon enough Delphox returned. The bowl of soup was easily half the size of Vaporeon's head, and the glass of smoothie was larger than any of the mugs at Thwackey's bar.

VAPOREON: Aah! You know I'm not royalty, right?!
DELPHOX: ☆ Business has been good! ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Why not spread a little joy when I can? ☆

Delphox set the food down, adding some fresh spring rolls and even a plate of egg rolls to the mix. Vaporeon cried over seeing so much good looking food. Delphox stepped back with a slightly sad smile.

DELPHOX: ☆ I had a feeling you would need a little extra. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Take your time with it, and let me know if there's anything else I can do for you. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Dessert is on the house, too! ☆
VAPOREON: Dessert too... I can't... please...
DELPHOX: ☆ My restaurant, my rules! ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ In this house, you're family from when you step in the door to when you step out of it. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Case closed! ☆

Vaporeon whined and relented. Maybe her fiery passion had melted her frozen heart or something. Maybe she was too damn hungry for poetics. Either way, she began eating the food and enjoying the ice cold drink.

Heaven. Total, utter heaven. It was fantastic. Every bite was an explosion of flavors she'd never experienced. A thousand spices seemed to mingle in the soup, and not a single one did anything but delight.

This was not an Apple spread out over a day to ward off starvation. This was living at its finest. Vaporeon began to cry softly. She'd never enjoyed anything so much in her life, she had no idea it was even possible.

She ate it fast, enjoying every second it gave her and sucking down her drink to make her stomach settle. Once she had finally finished, Delphox stopped by with a small square of paper.

DELPHOX: ☆ I hope to see you again often! ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ If you want to shop around, here are the spices to ask for. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Oregano in particular seemed like it would be your favorite, but avoid cumin. ☆

Vaporeon tucked the note into her bag. It might as well have been a steamy love letter for how pleased she was by it. She looked over the desert menu, pondering the choices. The names were even more fanciful than the dinner menu had been.

VAPOREON: Um... the Fantastically Fresh Fruit-Flavored Flan, please.
DELPHOX: ☆ Oh! What an excellent choice, I think you'll love that. Coming right up! ☆

Vaporeon turned away, embarrassed to have to order something so silly-sounding. Her eyes drifted to the window and caught on the Pokemon sitting just outside the restaurant. She bolted up and hustled out to meet him.

 

[val-triplicate]

Jolteon laid restlessly about on a bench across the street. His front left paw dangled limply off of it.

JOLTEON: Oh – hey, Vaporeon.
JOLTEON: I figured I shouldn't bother you, sorry.
VAPOREON: You figured wrong.
VAPOREON: I picked a booth just so you could join me. Get your ass in there.
JOLTEON: Sometimes you just gotta guess...

She ushered him inside and sat beside him. Jolteon's fur was as sharp as it looked, and static sparks nipped her every time his fur touched her skin. He gave her a casual smile to put her at ease. It didn't do a very good job at hiding the sadness behind it.

JOLTEON: You've been through a lot, and you finally looked kinda happy.
JOLTEON: I didn't want to spoil that with my bullshit.
VAPOREON: Well, I wanted to see you.
VAPOREON: Nothing stopping you from just hanging out with your sister, right?
VAPOREON: We don't need to talk about anything you can't share.

He wavered, and gave her a tight hug.

JOLTEON: I've missed you so much.
JOLTEON: I'm so sorry, Vaporeon...
VAPOREON: I missed you too... Zapdos.

She was still just guessing at this point, but Espeon seemed quite sure. Jolteon had looked like he was on the verge of tears, but the name drop put a flicker of confusion on his face. He caught and hid it quickly.

JOLTEON: You know I can't talk about that.
VAPOREON: Sorry. Just a little joke.
VAPOREON: I'm guessing you only came because someone told you to, but I do still appreciate it.
JOLTEON: Hmph. I'm here despite many, many requests for me not to be.
JOLTEON: If Flareon gets to fuck with you, it's only fair I get to spend time with you.
VAPOREON: Ugh, that fucking guy... I held it together when it saw me, though!
JOLTEON: I heard! It was real mad.
JOLTEON: I'm proud of you, Vaporeon.
VAPOREON: You... you guys probably know what I'm here to do, huh.
JOLTEON: ...Yeah.
JOLTEON: I'm still trying to figure out if there's another solution.
JOLTEON: ...Flareon said it was going to let you know that there's still a lot at risk.
JOLTEON: I'm sorry I couldn't tell you that, but I couldn't get approval to when I asked.
VAPOREON: Wait... I thought you two were supposed to be stopping me.
VAPOREON: Not... helping me. What's even going on with you?
JOLTEON: It's... complicated.
JOLTEON: We're both subject to rules and oversight, and we're not necessarily on different teams.
JOLTEON: We just have... very different feelings about some things is all. You most of all.
JOLTEON: I don't think Flareon is evil. I can see what would lead it down the path it's on.
JOLTEON: It's hurting. I'm hurting, too. I just hope the three of us all survive this.
VAPOREON: You know I'm not subtle about my pain...
JOLTEON: Hah. Must be fucking nice.
JOLTEON: ...I'm- I'm sorry.
JOLTEON: It's just been... hard on me, not getting to talk to anyone about this.
VAPOREON: It's okay.
VAPOREON: Do you think I'd ever be able to win it over?
JOLTEON: Hm.
JOLTEON: Flareon has a plan for how it thinks things should go.
JOLTEON: It will get people killed, and it won't work.
JOLTEON: I have my own plan, too.
JOLTEON: It will also get people killed, and it also won't work.
JOLTEON: If you could find a better plan, you'd win both of us over completely.
VAPOREON: I can't find a solution if nobody will tell me what the problem even is...
JOLTEON: ...your Espeon friend is smart.
JOLTEON: You should listen to her, even if you had a falling out.
JOLTEON: I think they'll let that much slide. It's advice, not new information.
VAPOREON: Reshiram is going to pay.
JOLTEON: I can't comment on that, heh.
VAPOREON: Too late, birdbrain.
VAPOREON: Anyway. Sorry for harping on it.
VAPOREON: I wonder what's taking Delphox so- oh!
DELPHOX: ☆ Sorry, dear. I didn't want to interrupt. ☆
VAPOREON: It's fine. Hey, can I get a soda or something for my brother?
VAPOREON: Add it to my tab.
JOLTEON: A mango lassi too, please.
JOLTEON: But both on my tab.
DELPHOX: ☆ Of course, darlings. ☆
VAPOREON: Someone's attitude is going to get him another bite on the ass.

Jolteon rolled his eyes and said nothing, but there was an aching joy in the expression. He'd missed Vaporeon a lot, attitude and all.

The drinks arrived soon after. She dug into her flan, wondering if they were close like this before everything happened. She certainly didn't feel like a very good sister, assuming her guess was correct there.

JOLTEON: Thank you for spending time with me, Vaporeon.
JOLTEON: It means more than you know.
VAPOREON: I could say the same.
VAPOREON: I don't know if you realize... but you two are hiding from me too.
JOLTEON: I've been scared to be too present... I'm scared I'll mess it up.
VAPOREON: I do hope to see you again soon.
VAPOREON: It too. Be a family again. You, it, me and...
VAPOREON: And Mom.

Guessing again, she glanced to his reaction. He looked a little hurt, but maybe it was just the same sadness that permeated him so completely.

JOLTEON: That's not going to work on me again, Vaporeon.
JOLTEON: Try again, but this time just the parts that you actually mean.
VAPOREON: Of course. Sorry.
VAPOREON: I did mean it, though.
VAPOREON: I'm going to drag both of your asses with me if I have to, and we're all going to fix this.
JOLTEON: I'm behind you the whole way.
JOLTEON: Once it all comes to a head, I promise – I'm in your corner.

The two spent another few minutes in mostly quiet company. She left him with the best-looking part of the flan and the rest of the check. He gave her directions to the inn he was staying at and another sharp look of sorrow.

DELPHOX: ☆ Come back soon, darling! ☆

 

[Tango]

Review:
Chapter One: Amnesia

Hello, I'm here to check out your first chapter and the week one bonus!

Non-quote word count of review starting below: 435 words

As for the chapter name, it sounds like our protagonist will be waking up with no memories. Pretty self-explanatory.

Spoiler: Line by Line Reaction

Tall grass swayed lazily in the center of a dim clearing. A small blue creature shook her head with pain and confusion.

Her mind felt blank. No memories came to her, and the world around her felt no more familiar. Save for her, the clearing contained only a short stone pedestal. The area itself was oddly regular – the tangle of trees surrounding her felt more like walls than a living forest.

Getting some Undertale vibes off of this. Waking up with amnesia would be a pretty scary experience!

VAPOREON: What– ugh. My fucking head...

I'm not a fan of cursing in fics, but honestly if I was in this situation I might be doing to same thing, so it's hard to judge... 😅

She sat down grumpily. Time to take stock.

She was a Pokemon, named... Vaporeon, presumably.

Hmm how is she not sure if she is a Vaporeon? I guess because she can't look at herself in the mirror and she is examining her body? I'm surprised she was able to narrow that down so quickly.

She didn't remember if she had a name. Pokemon typically didn't, but some chose them to stick out. Her species was quadrupedal, semi-aquatic, and around average in terms of size. She was a good swimmer, she assumed. Her fins had to be there for something.

That would be so crazy forgetting what one's own body was! How does she even know she is a girl? On second thought, maybe it's best that isn't being described lol... 😅

Vaporeon was in... a dungeon, she decided. Her memory there was fragmented too, but she remembered the basic concept. A dungeon was an area that randomly shifted in layout. They tended to be similar in structure, so to speak, with the materials based on the surrounding area. She could have sworn there was one made out of clouds somewhere.

New resources appeared every time the layout changed, so Pokemon with more brawn than marketable skills often chose dungeon life over the surface. Competition for space could get fierce. There was something about bosses, too... her head hurt even worse. Enough thinking.

Vaporeon stood up slowly. She tried a slow stretch and toppled over immediately. Practically her entire front-left leg was missing –

Wait, so she didn't look over herself to determine she was a Vaporeon? I guess this was something she just already knew?

But wow... finding out a leg was missing by trying to walk on it! Yikes!

that would have been nice to know sooner. All that was left was a stump that showed no signs of scarring. She examined the rest of her body; her fins were angled oddly for her species, but that felt rather less important.

Vaporeon stayed on the ground for a while. Here she was, lost and alone, with nothing to her name but pain and uncertainty. There was no reason to get back up. Where would she even go? Out, she supposed. Whatever answers she needed, they weren't here. Turning swiftly to the room's only exit – too swiftly, her headache informed her – Vaporeon left.

Yeah I guess leaving is really all she can do here...

The next clearing opened just as wide as the previous, though at least with more light to see by. A campfire crackled by the exit. Two Pokemon rested next to it – a Luxio and a Wartortle – and a Flareon patrolled the area. None of them had noticed Vaporeon yet, as far as she could tell.

Wartortle pointed a claw at the book he and Luxio were bent over. He seemed a little small for his species, but the scars all across his shell gave his cocky grin some credence. He said something she couldn't hear and laughed uproariously. The Luxio didn't manage more than a conciliatory chuckle. He was larger than Vaporeon by quite a bit, and sparks crackled from his fur as he groomed himself.

Vaporeon stumbled back into the entrance. Had these Pokemon done something to her?

Yeah there is a very real chance that they did. Not knowing who to trust makes everything a threat!

Her claws flexed as she tallied up her options. They might not even be aggressive, if she was friendly, but that was a hell of a risk. She could also go in fangs blazing, and they might just surrender. She didn't like her chances against the Electric-type lion, but they didn't have to know that.

Yikes but there are three of them! Best option is to try to be friendly and if it fails, RUN.

Flareon turned a corner on its patrol, and Vaporeon was certain it was looking directly at her. It stood there for a moment. She held her breath.

It moved on, as if it had nothing on its mind. Before she could think better of it, she quietly followed behind.

Man that is such an awkward reaction... It seems Flareon did not notice her, maybe?

She was getting used to her form, but the altered gait forced heavy footsteps upon her. After only a few seconds, Flareon sat down.

FLAREON: Bold of you to sneak up on me.

Its voice was steady, but its muscles were tense. It didn't turn to face her.

I'm feeling some second-hand anxiety off of this! Tension so thick you could cut it with a knife!

VAPOREON: I'm just trying to figure out what's going on.
FLAREON: Worry about your safety, first.

So... Flareon cares about her? Maybe?

VAPOREON: Are you going to attack me, then?
FLAREON: You're not worth my time. I'll let the others pick you off.

Ok Vaporeon. Just turn around and go back to the room. I don't think you really want any of this. You don't really need to escape after all. Maybe someday you will find friends and can make an escape.

VAPOREON: And if they win?

It sneered at her. Pure hatred coiled beneath its uninterested facade.

FLAREON: Don't let that happen.
FLAREON: That's my last handout, before I kill you myself.

These signals are so mixed. Flareon maybe doesn't want Vaporeon to lose because Flareon wants to kill Vaporeon but only if Vaporeon proves herself in battle against the others? It seems Flareon is a warrior but who also bares a deep grudge against Vaporeon.

Vaporeon's blood boiled. Whether this was their fault or not didn't matter anymore. Everyone in this room was out to get her, and it was the last mistake they'd ever make.

Vaporeon, you are pretty darn crazy. I get the feeling this is a fic where the main character dies. That would be such an interesting twist if it was. I mean what fic actually does that?

Closing thoughts:
This chapter really does a fantastic job of setting tension and mystery in a way that really grips the reader. The short length definitely does it some favors too! I get the feeling this fic might be pretty popular in this year's blitz. I'm seriously curious where this might go from here.

 

[val-triplicate]

Hello, hello - thank you so much for the review!

Spoiler: Review-Response Chatter

Waking up with amnesia would be a pretty scary experience!

It sure would be! What a stressful day...

I'm not a fan of cursing in fics, but honestly if I was in this situation I might be doing to same thing, so it's hard to judge... 😅

This fic is definitely a bit cursing-heavy; the other two in the series are significantly less so. I've been mulling over the idea of rewriting this book entirely, and I might cut that down a little more! It certainly used to be heavier.

Hmm how is she not sure if she is a Vaporeon?

That would be so crazy forgetting what one's own body was!

This is just something Pokemon instinctively know - it's the same as why humans who are turned into Pokemon here don't need to learn all thousand-odd Pokemon names. What she doesn't know right now is whether or not she has a name. She just assumes for now that she doesn't.

But wow... finding out a leg was missing by trying to walk on it! Yikes!

Not that failing to check really worked in her favor...

Yeah there is a very real chance that they did. Not knowing who to trust makes everything a threat!

What a stressful day indeed!

Man that is such an awkward reaction... It seems Flareon did not notice her, maybe?

It's sure acting like it didn't...

I'm feeling some second-hand anxiety off of this! Tension so thick you could cut it with a knife!

...until suddenly it drops that act in an instant!

Best option is to try to be friendly and if it fails, RUN.

Ok Vaporeon. Just turn around and go back to the room

All good advice! She'll take it, I'm sure. As long as she keeps her cool, there has to be a way out of this.

These signals are so mixed.

It seems Flareon is a warrior but who also bares a deep grudge against Vaporeon.

So... Flareon cares about her? Maybe?

Uh-oh.

Vaporeon, you are pretty darn crazy.

Uh-oh...!

I get the feeling this is a fic where the main character dies. That would be such an interesting twist if it was. I mean what fic actually does that?

Here's what I'll say for now - this fic was originally an RP. That's why I ended up going script-style; there was way too much dialogue to add meaningful dialogue tags to all of it. Most of the work for this book was adding and enhancing the prose, whereas the other two books are much more "original works" due to my increase skill as a writer by the time I got to them.

So... does Vaporeon die? All I'll confirm: I was very willing to let her. There were parts where she very easily could have died if she made the wrong choices, or if her player didn't impress me enough during the hardest challenges. Does she survive them all? I won't say. But for better or worse, the stories and characters are mostly faithful to the original!

 

[val-triplicate]

The guild's building was just five blocks from the restaurant, in a small business district. The building itself was smaller than she would have expected for such an important city, hardly any larger than Phox's Pho.

The bustle of the city was lesser here than it had been by the restaurant. This was the first time Vaporeon really had the chance to look around the place, or at least the willingness. It was certainly a lot. More Pokemon definitely lived here than in the static floors she’d seen, but it was spread out past what she could ever see. There were a lot of businesses and residences, often with gratingly garish signs and banners, but few Pokemon were out at this time of day.

Vaporeon walked into the guild hall and looked around. Nothing caught her eye before a Xatu teleported a few feet in front of her. She let out a startled yelp, and they cocked their head with a blank expression.

(XATU: Hello; it's good to finally meet you.)
(XATU: Vaporeon, correct?)
VAPOREON: Well. Sort of. But yes.
(XATU: Espeon has filled us in on the situation up to a few days ago.)
(XATU: She said you would need a new case manager, and support to reach and fight Reshiram.)

She winced. Their tone was clinical enough without calling her a "case."

(XATU: She cannot join herself; she wanted me to apologize to you for that.)
VAPOREON: I know. She's been injured.
(XATU: She will make a full recovery soon, if it helps.)
VAPOREON: Yeah, hooray.
VAPOREON: So what do you want me to do?
(XATU: I am not here to direct you, only to offer assistance.)
(XATU: Espeon was clear that you wanted to go yourself; I have been told not to discourage this.)
VAPOREON: I don't know who told you not to discourage me, but if it's Flareon you can both go fuck yourself.
(XATU: It was Guildmaster Alakazam; he believes you can succeed better than we could.)
VAPOREON: Hm. He's right, but I'm surprised he's not more overconfident.
VAPOREON: Guess that's what you get for being a mutant psychic banana.
(XATU: Are you certain you can only go alone?)
(XATU: Our resources are limited, but Guildmaster Alakazam has deemed your mission the highest priority.)
VAPOREON: Yes, I'm fucking sure.
VAPOREON: Don't you know who I am?
(XATU: Likely Articuno; Possibly Suicune; Perhaps Kyurem.)
(XATU: Potentially any Pokemon related to them, or any other.)
(XATU: Currently in a body you have little experience with.)
(XATU: Up against a long dungeon and a boss you do not have a type advantage against.)
VAPOREON: I'm a Water-type now, dumbass.
(XATU: Water beats Fire, but is resisted by Dragon.)
(XATU: You also use Ice frequently. This beats Dragon, but is resisted by Fire.)
VAPOREON: Even if I was worried, I refuse to take anyone with me.
VAPOREON: Innocent people have a nasty pattern of ending up frozen near me.
(XATU: Very well. Let us know what supplies you need; keep in mind we are spread thin at the moment.)
(XATU: We can also teleport you to the dungeon's entrance, but no farther.)

She scowled. It was really that easy? Just show up and these weak dorks would give her anything she wanted? Her gaze met theirs, and she was tempted to freeze its eyes shut so it couldn't keep staring at her.

(XATU: Please consider the offer of further assistance; it is always open.)
VAPOREON: Over my dead burned body am I asking for help.
(XATU: We will not force you; the resources will certainly be helpful elsewhere.)
(XATU: Let us know when you would like to depart; I advise gathering supplies first.)

Vaporeon walked past them with a frustrated lash of her tail. The help was appreciated, though she'd never admit it, but fucking hell did they piss her off.

There were a few more psychics zipping about, as well as some Flying-types being loaded with hefty saddlebags. A trio of powerful-looking Pokemon sat tensely on a sofa, as an angry Audino scolded them for their recklessness.

Vaporeon found an unoccupied seat and laid her face on a table. The other Pokemon left her alone – a few tables over, an overworked-looking Talonflame was doing much the same.

She recalled once again the events of the past few days. Murder, chaos, arrest, weird psychic therapy, almost murdering again, trudging through the fucking mud for days, and now here. One more teleport away from destiny. She was fucking terrified. Her fool mouth had signed her up to beat a god single-handedly after an entire dungeon.

Others milled about, few aware of the tempest that brewed in their midst. She tilted her head to the side. No one on this floor seemed to recognize her, but she'd seen a few more floors from outside that didn't seem open to the public.

Whatever. She was busy, and she hated this place anyway. If she wanted to waste a little more time before traipsing off to her death, she already knew where she wanted to go.

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, I saw that your story was up for Review Tag on Writers United, and since I’m in the market for reading stories by people I’ve never reviewed before on TR, it felt like a good match. I don’t really know what this is about other than that it’s about a Vaporeon with amnesia and has a rather slick presentation on your personal site, but let’s get right into things, but first:

There's a more complete version on my site, too! You can find that here. It's all up to personal preference, but there's some fun formatting tricks I can only pull on a proper PDF. You'll still get a good experience here, but this version doesn't have the fancy text colors and fonts like most other mirrors do. I also have it up on PMDFF and Ao3, for fans of those sites.

More seriously, it’s a little clunky and won’t necessarily be guaranteed to look good on every single theme option on this site, but from an eyeballing of your site version’s first page you can very much do most of your PDF/offsite versions' party tricks here too through BBCode magic. e.x. as a lazy proof of concept:

-------------- ACT 1: ARENA TRAP --------------
------------ CHAPTER 1: AMNESIA ------------​

Tall grass swayed lazily in the center of a dim clearing. A small blue creature shook her head with pain and confusion.

Her mind felt blank. No memories came to her, and the world around her felt no more familiar. Save for her, the clearing contained only a short stone pedestal. The area itself was oddly regular – the tangle of trees surrounding her felt more like walls than a living forest.

VAPOREON: What– ugh. My fucking head...

She sat down grumpily. Time to take stock.

She was a Pokemon, named... Vaporeon, presumably. She didn't remember if she had a name. Pokemon typically didn't, but some chose them to stick out. Her species was quadrupedal, semi-aquatic, and around average in terms of size. She was a good swimmer, she assumed. Her fins had to be there for something.

I’ll leave it up to you for if you want to attempt to incorporate your colored text here or not since doing it in BBCode format is admittedly a bit more involved than PDF antics and requires knowing the specific color hexes if the colors you want to use don’t match up with the site presets, but it is doable. Ditto the fonts, which I didn’t have a complete listing for what’s supported, but it appears to support the Libre / Libre Baskerville you used on your site-hosted version.

Anyhow, onto the review for real:

Chapter 1

Spoiler: Line-by-Line

Tall grass swayed lazily in the center of a dim clearing. A small blue creature shook her head with pain and confusion.

Her mind felt blank. No memories came to her, and the world around her felt no more familiar. Save for her, the clearing contained only a short stone pedestal. The area itself was oddly regular – the tangle of trees surrounding her felt more like walls than a living forest.

VAPOREON: What– ugh. My fucking head...

She sat down grumpily. Time to take stock.

Ahhh… I see that your story’s a scriptfic. I suppose that I’ll get it out of the way off the bat, but as long as I can remember, the medium has a bit of an iffy rep in this fandom by virtue of it being very easy to fall into some storytelling pitfalls such as “telling and not showing” the things happening in your story.

She was a Pokemon, named... Vaporeon, presumably. She didn't remember if she had a name. Pokemon typically didn't, but some chose them to stick out. Her species was quadrupedal, semi-aquatic, and around average in terms of size. She was a good swimmer, she assumed. Her fins had to be there for something.

I’ll take that as a sign that our protag is from a world where Pokémon were things and not just cartoon critters.

Vaporeon was in... a dungeon, she decided. Her memory there was fragmented too, but she remembered the basic concept. A dungeon was an area that randomly shifted in layout. They tended to be similar in structure, so to speak, with the materials based on the surrounding area. She could have sworn there was one made out of clouds somewhere.

Wait, wait. She knows what a Mystery Dungeon is? Guess my priors of Vaporeon there being a human weren’t quite on the mark there.

New resources appeared every time the layout changed, so Pokemon with more brawn than marketable skills often chose dungeon life over the surface. Competition for space could get fierce. There was something about bosses, too... her head hurt even worse. Enough thinking.

I’m a little ambivalent on this portion here. While I feel that it adds some interesting information about the world, it’s definitely rather “told” here, and it’s done in a way that is a bit out of place for if you were going to lean into the “script format” presentation of your story and format it as something like a screenplay.

It feels like something that would be more at home in a prose format story, but given that my understanding is that this story is already completed end-to-end, I’ll refrain from going “just rewrite your story, bro” and just take things as they are here.

Vaporeon stood up slowly. She tried a slow stretch and toppled over immediately. Practically her entire front-left leg was missing – that would have been nice to know sooner. All that was left was a stump that showed no signs of scarring. She examined the rest of her body; her fins were angled oddly for her species, but that felt rather less important.

Not fully sure how she’s going to stay alive in an adventure series in a condition like that, but definitely a head-turner choice for how to start your protagonist out. I’ll keep an eye out to see how you leverage this later on.

Vaporeon stayed on the ground for a while. Here she was, lost and alone, with nothing to her name but pain and uncertainty. There was no reason to get back up. Where would she even go? Out, she supposed. Whatever answers she needed, they weren't here. Turning swiftly to the room's only exit – too swiftly, her headache informed her – Vaporeon left.

Wait, but Vaporeon wasn’t established as being in pain earlier? Like even if you’re going full “screenplay format”, that feels like something that would be important to communicate as directions to the actors as Vaporeon starts getting up and having more of the world around her fill in.

The next clearing opened just as wide as the previous, though at least with more light to see by. A campfire crackled by the exit. Two Pokemon rested next to it – a Luxio and a Wartortle – and a Flareon patrolled the area. None of them had noticed Vaporeon yet, as far as she could tell.

Wait, so… she just goes straight from one clearing to the other? No path or space in between that she had to transit that’s acknowledged even in passing? Like even in the canonical Mystery Dungeon games, the individual chambers/clearings/rooms/[WHATEVER]s usually have a bit more of a walk going from Room A to Room 1 like this.

Wartortle pointed a claw at the book he and Luxio were bent over. He seemed a little small for his species, but the scars all across his shell gave his cocky grin some credence. He said something she couldn't hear and laughed uproariously. The Luxio didn't manage more than a conciliatory chuckle. He was larger than Vaporeon by quite a bit, and sparks crackled from his fur as he groomed himself.

Vaporeon stumbled back into the entrance. Had these Pokemon done something to her? Her claws flexed as she tallied up her options. They might not even be aggressive, if she was friendly, but that was a hell of a risk. She could also go in fangs blazing, and they might just surrender. She didn't like her chances against the Electric-type lion, but they didn't have to know that.

Wait, wait, wait. Whose perspective is this story being told from anyways? Like if it’s a third-person limited perspective, you’re very firmly locked into the perspective of whoever the viewpoint character is until there’s a change of scene. If you’re doing third-person omniscient narration like in a screenplay, you will likely need a bit more of a transition than this to follow these new faces we’re seeing.

Also, do I want to know what Vaporeon used to do before losing her memories given that she almost immediately weighs whether or not she should aggro these complete strangers she ran into when she’s missing part of a leg right now?

Flareon turned a corner on its patrol, and Vaporeon was certain it was looking directly at her. It stood there for a moment. She held her breath.

It moved on, as if it had nothing on its mind. Before she could think better of it, she quietly followed behind. She was getting used to her form, but the altered gait forced heavy footsteps upon her. After only a few seconds, Flareon sat down.

FLAREON: Bold of you to sneak up on me.

Vaporeon: “Was I really that obvious?”

Flareon: “Yes. Yes you were.”

Its voice was steady, but its muscles were tense. It didn't turn to face her.

VAPOREON: I'm just trying to figure out what's going on.
FLAREON: Worry about your safety, first.
VAPOREON: Are you going to attack me, then?
FLAREON: You're not worth my time. I'll let the others pick you off.
VAPOREON: And if they win?

It sneered at her. Pure hatred coiled beneath its uninterested facade.

FLAREON: Don't let that happen.
FLAREON: That's my last handout, before I kill you myself.

Oh hey, cue the Anchorman gif again. Though I kinda wonder that even without prose format if there should’ve been a bit more cues provided to show the whole “oh, he turns at her at [X] point and his expression visibly turns hostile / unnerving in this sequence.

Vaporeon's blood boiled. Whether this was their fault or not didn't matter anymore. Everyone in this room was out to get her, and it was the last mistake they'd ever make.

Since… uh… yeah, good luck with that one when you don’t even have four paws to your name at the moment, Vaporeon.

Chapter 2

Spoiler: Line-by-Line

Luxio noticed her first. He jumped up, but he wasn't quick enough. Before he could act, she sent him careening into a tree with a torrential blast of water. He crumpled to the ground. Wartortle jumped into a battle pose.

WARTORTLE: Hey, what the fuck? Coward move!

Vaporeon is clearly quite a bit stronger than I gave her credit for if she can just casually one-shot a Pokémon that’s type-strong against her. I do wonder if we’re missing a bit of an opportunity to see how the others are reacting here and missing more tee-up for them joining the scene, since I didn’t even realize that they saw Vaporeon along with Flareon in the prior chapter.

The turtle prepared to attack, but Vaporeon was already on him. She dashed forwards, shockingly fast despite the missing leg. He was ready, and ducked under her bite to counter with an uppercut.

That one’s going to leave a mark there.

Vaporeon howled with pain. Her mouth charged with frigid energy. Wartortle kept up the pressure, striking just out of range. She couldn't quite get a lock on him, but that was fine. She feinted a stumble, watched as he stepped in to attack, and fired.

Wartortle was no stranger to a scrap, and he knew what the sudden chill meant. He whirled around just fast enough, and his shell took the full force of an attack that would have easily knocked him cold. The now ice-laden turtle lurched to the side and fell over.

Not really feeling the underlined there since it feels very “informed attribute” at the moment both when judging things along the lines of a script and when judging them along the lines of prose. If at all possible, I feel this information would’ve been better coming out implicitly through Wartortle’s reaction, or else getting brought up in earlier banter that Vaporeon overheard.

Vaporeon hesitated, uncertain. She'd gotten carried away again. She didn't want to hurt anyone, right? Maybe this situation could still be salvaged if she apologized. Maybe Flareon was wrong about them.

Maybe they'd kill her if she let her guard down, though. As the turtle landed on her back, she realized she just had.

Wartortle's balance wasn't perfect, but he'd managed to compensate for the ice on his shell, and hooked his claws deep into her back. Vaporeon snapped at him uselessly. He continued to bite and slash at her as she flailed. She pointed her face down instead, and put all of her strength into a single blast of water.

Just mentally noting that Vaporeon doesn’t really have much of an appetite for battle while something about who she is essentially puts a target on her back constantly.

I admittedly was not really feeling this battle sequence here since it’s very summarized at the moment, even if it’s hard for me to suggest how to improve it while sticking to script format. If you were doing this in prose format, the easy suggestion for a fix would be to focus more on the blow-by-blow and getting into Vaporeon’s head a bit more.

The two Pokemon hurtled towards the sky. Wartortle lost his grip quickly and fell down with a cry. Pain tore through his body as he landed, but he wasn't quite ready to give up yet. He crawled back shakily up to his knees.

It was good that he did, as his shell helped mitigate the pain of what landed on him. A tortured gasp broke from his lungs as he was knocked unconscious.

I feel that even if sticking with script format, that this should emphasize more of what’s happening as it happens with a bit more clarity, since it admittedly took me a little while to realize that Vaporeon is essentially rocketing both her and the Wartortle up into the air via recoil and then landing on him as a cushion.

Vaporeon whirled around, searching for the next threat. Luxio was barely back up to his feet, but he raised a paw in surrender. That just left Flareon. It stared at her with an expression she couldn't quite place.

If it wanted to play hardball, she could play hardball. She grabbed the unconscious turtle by his shell and dragged him over to Flareon.

Not really feeling the “If it wanted to play hardball” part since I feel like we’re missing that moment of realization that “yeah, he’s digging his heels in and not going to back down here.

Vaporeon: “I mean the alternative is that he’s just stupid since I just dropped his buddies who had type resistances to my attacks, but I’ll be nice here.” ^^;

VAPOREON: This guy your friend? Wanna see me tear his throat out?
VAPOREON: Or should I do the same to you?
LUXIO: Hey, hey, come on lady! Don't you think that's a little much?
LUXIO: You win, you get to move on, no one needs to die over this!
FLAREON: Don't mistake my hatred towards you for affection towards them.
FLAREON: I'm sure you're dying to kill him, no matter what I say. Don't stop on my account.

I feel like even in a screenplay format that there’s certain shifts of mood and reaction that would want to be communicated to the actors as instructions that are kinda getting lost here at the moment.

She whipped her head up, bringing the hard turtle shell against Flareon's chin. There was a loud crack as it hit, but a quick glance showed that Flareon wasn't the one who'd been injured.

Wait, how is she doing this again and who is the the one who got injured here and how?

VAPOREON: So you DO know who I am!
FLAREON: I know you're a violent monster who deserves every ounce of suffering that comes your way.
FLAREON: Of course, anyone who saw you now would reach the same conclusion.
VAPOREON: Fuck you. FUCK. YOU.
VAPOREON: I wouldn't have even fought them if you didn't push me into it!
FLAREON: Don't lie to me. Don't lie to yourself.
VAPOREON: This is going nowhere, I don't even care anymore.

She carefully laid Wartortle down, and stormed over to the lion.

Another spot where I feel you kinda smooshed over some shifts in mood that and reaction that would otherwise be important to communicate. Though see, I knew that Vaporeon having a plan to aggro everyone in the room she entered had something that was up about it.

VAPOREON: You. Sparky. Over here.
LUXIO: I- I don't know what's going on, man. Please don't kill us.
VAPOREON: Nobody's going to die if you do what I say.
VAPOREON: Pack me some supplies, and carry it for me.
LUXIO: Of course. I'll pack you everything we have, ma'am.
VAPOREON: Not everything. Wartortle is too injured to fend for itself.
VAPOREON: Flareon can fucking starve for all I care.
LUXIO: You're right, without the Dawn Stone...
LUXIO: What are you even doing here anyway? It's still missing.
VAPOREON: I have no idea what the hell you're talking about.
LUXIO: Um, the anchor. It's not important.
LUXIO: Wartortle should mostly be fine by himself. We have backup stuff for this.
VAPOREON: You're better off coming with me anyway. You saw how strong I am.
LUXIO: I mean... I guess so. I'm certainly not staying here.

The lion slunk off to gather the supplies. Flareon sat statue-still, eyes trained on Vaporeon. She shuddered. As Luxio packed, she gestured to it.

Wait, so… Flareon’s just sitting back and letting this chick rob them and bully his teammate? Without needing to be forcibly put down? I feel like there’s a step that’s missing here to get him to stand down even if it’s something as simple as “he’s doing it for Wartortle but is visibly seething about it” that isn’t coming through in the text at the moment.

VAPOREON: Yo. Flamebutt. I fucking got something for you.
FLAREON: I've given you your one free strike.
FLAREON: The next one has consequences.
VAPOREON: Over here by the campfire, before I consider putting it out with your face.

It walked over disdainfully. Her voice trembled, though she kept it as firm as she could. She did have the type advantage, but the thought of its fire terrified her.

Wait, Vaporeon knows that this Flareon outmatches her? Have they met before? If so, I kinda wonder if that detail should be communicated somehow. Also, I’m surprised that Vaporeon isn’t constantly keeping Wartortle with her at all times, since from Flareon’s reaction, I get the distinct vibe that literally the only reason why Vaporeon isn’t in serious trouble is because she has a hostage that Flareon isn’t willing to write off.

VAPOREON: Something is horribly wrong here, and you're the prime suspect.
VAPOREON: I don't remember what's going on. I don't remember who I am.
VAPOREON: I don't give a fuck who you are or were, and acting so high and mighty is pissing me off.

Vaporeon shot a burst of water at the fire, then blew the steam in its face. Flareon sputtered in anger as Luxio walked up. She gave it a hateful grin, and the two left.

FLAREON: Hmph.
FLAREON: I'll be seeing you.

… Well then, might need to rewrite some of my priors. Even if I feel like there should be a bit more communicated here, since I’m not fully sure what just happened between these characters.

Luxio: “W-Wait. What just happened? W-Why am I going with the psycho Vaporeon that was about to kill Shellhead?!”

Chapter 3

Spoiler: Line-by-Line

Vaporeon and Luxio walked silently through the forest. She stayed close to him, following his lead. Every few seconds she scanned around with a look of subtle panic. No one was following them, at least not that she could detect.

Luxio:

VAPOREON: You hurt?
LUXIO: No, just... shaken.
VAPOREON: Hmph.
LUXIO: You said you don't remember anything, right?
LUXIO: I could, um, try to fill you in if you want.
LUXIO: It did seem like there were... important things you were guessing about.
VAPOREON: Guessing's a stretch. I had nothing.
LUXIO: Let's start simple, then. Do you remember what a dungeon is?
LUXIO: I feel like that's the most important bit, here.
VAPOREON: Kind of. Lots of Pokemon live there and kick your ass if you enter.
LUXIO: I mean... that's good enough for now.
LUXIO: Do you remember why trying to kill a Pokemon you're fighting is not something you ever, ever do?
VAPOREON: I was just trying to get Flareon to crack. I'm not a murderer.
VAPOREON: ...I hope he'll be okay. I doubt it'll bother looking after him.
LUXIO: Probably not, but I really don't know it at all. It showed up last night.
LUXIO: Speaking of... the Dawn Stone wasn't there.
LUXIO: You're sure you didn't take it? The Escape Orb was gone, too.

I… feel like there should be some more explicitly mentioned cues for the different mood shifts and where these two are going as they walked. I also am not fully sure how I should be interpreting what just happened at the end of the last chapter, since given how Vaporeon ultimately got Flareon to back down by bluntly threatening to rip out Wartortle’s throat, I’m not really sure if I buy the whole “do you remember why you’re not supposed to kill Pokémon” and not really getting a solid vibe of how “I’m only here because I have to be” from this Luxio.

They found a few items as they walked, and Vaporeon ordered Luxio to carry them all. She told herself this was to get good use of the 'teammate' she'd conscripted. In truth, she could barely stand as it was.

Luxio: “I’m sorry, but why did I ever agree to this?!”

Vaporeon: “I’m kinda mystified by that myself, since given the way you were reacting back in the encampment, I was half-expecting you to keel over and play dead and not just agree to go along with me.”

VAPOREON: If there was an Escape Orb, I would have used it.
VAPOREON: I don't like fighting kids for sport.
VAPOREON: And why would a Dawn Stone matter? I'm not a Kirlia.
LUXIO: Okay, well, I'll just assume this is news to you then.
LUXIO: That Dawn Stone is the anchor for this dungeon.
LUXIO: Without it there, there's no shifts for a while. So no new items or food.
LUXIO: If you're not in the mood to fight anyone, don't let them know it's gone.

Some more spots where I feel you’re smooshing over changes in mood / action that would probably have been worth articulating.

He lead her down a few turns, right into a dead-end.

LUXIO: Wait. Didn't we already go this way?
VAPOREON: No, you're just stupid. We need to take that turn to the left.
LUXIO: Thanks. You can lead if you want, I'll watch the rear.
VAPOREON: Pssh. Boys. What are you, three years old or something?
VAPOREON: What are you even doing here?
LUXIO: I- I'm seven, man. I'm not a kid.
LUXIO: I came to this dungeon because we don't get many adventurers.
LUXIO: I think the last time we lost the Dawn Stone was a few weeks ago.
VAPOREON: Minutes ago, now.
LUXIO: Ugh, don't remind me...
VAPOREON: Heh. SECONDS AGO!
LUXIO: Augh, alright, alright!
LUXIO: We did a bad job guarding it, and you somehow got past us too.
LUXIO: Probably that damn Flareon fucked us over on both counts.
VAPOREON: Heh. Well, now you know not to trust evolutions of Eevee.
VAPOREON: We're all cunts.

Another spot where things feel a bit glossed over. Though just filing it away that apparently Eeveelutions are bad news in this setting.

Though I’m admittedly unsure how much I’m buying Luxio who is technically a hostage right now getting chummy with Vaporeon at this moment. It might have seemed a bit more plausible if they got into some sort of random encounter and she bailed him out instead of treating him as transparently expendable beforehand, but not sure what’s motivating this Stockholm Syndrome otherwise when you’d think that Luxio would be busy freaking out over if/when Vaporeon’s going to suddenly decide she doesn’t need him and rip his throat out given that she almost did that to his buddy.

Vaporeon bit her lip as she thought. Something was going on, but she had nothing to go off of. Were there other Eeveelutions involved? She had no idea. He didn't need to know that, though. She was certainly not admitting how scared she was.

Vaporeon: “(You know, I think that I’m good on not getting my memories back for a while if this is how everyone treats me.)”

LUXIO: Hah. You can trust them if they've threatened you into following, though.
VAPOREON: Careful, kitty. Wanna get reminded what the trees taste like?

The two Pokemon examined each others' expressions. Vaporeon bristled with wound-up tension, ready to snap at the next provocation. Luxio seemed no less tense. Every now and then, he glanced in every direction, as if weighing his options.

Boy I sure hope that you communicated things well with Flareon at some point as to what you were trying to do, Luxio, since he did not vibe as someone who would tolerate getting backstabbed well.

LUXIO: Can't say I'm keen to...
LUXIO: Where are you even going to go anyway, besides out?
LUXIO: What's your next brilliant plan?
VAPOREON: Leave and hole up as far away from Flare-dick as possible.
VAPOREON: With luck, never be seen by anyone again.
VAPOREON: What about you, lightning boy?
LUXIO: I just want to stay out of trouble, man...
LUXIO: Maybe I'll go to the surface? Work as a battery for some rich dickhead?
LUXIO: ...Ugh. No, I can't.
LUXIO: I'm just not cut out for that life, even if the dungeons aren't much better.
LUXIO: Maybe adventurers would be less aggressive in one with a boss...
VAPOREON: Oh yeah? Not sure that's gonna save you. You look kind of pathetic.

Another spot where you’re kinda smooshing over moments where cues would probably have made sense to bring up in between at least some of these lines back and forth between these two.

Luxio: “I’m not pathetic!” >.<
Vaporeon: “Kid, you were a stammering mess through our entire fight, surrendered and handed over your team’s goods, and didn’t even put up a fight against going along with me. What, am I supposed to give you a participation trophy for not puddling the ground?”

Luxio: “L-Let’s see how tough and collected you are when you're at the mercy of someone who can casually kill you, huh?!” >///<

Luxio stared at her closer. He hadn't noticed until now, but Vaporeon was... not looking good. Her good legs trembled with exhaustion. Her darting eyes seemed to be beginning to lose focus, though she forcibly refocused them every few seconds.

Luxio: “... And this is my problem when she’d surely chase me down and kill me if I tried to bolt why?” ^^;

LUXIO: Um. You okay, yourself? You look like you're about to pass out.

She collapsed to the floor. Luxio sat down a comfortable distance beside her. [ ]

VAPOREON: Fucking fuck mother fucking FUCK SHIT CUNT! AUGH!
LUXIO: Hey, hey, easy there. I'm here for ya.

I feel like you’re missing a few things here. One being more of a transition into Vaporeon writhing and shouting in pain or whatever. And the other being why Luxio wouldn’t take this moment now to cut and run from the very strong Vaporeon who from his perspective is very bad news who just called him pathetic five seconds ago.

Vaporeon didn't stay down for long. She kept walking, taking very slight breaks every time she collapsed. She'd put every single bit of energy she had into the fight, and it was taking its toll on her. She refused to let it beat her.

LUXIO: You should rest. Don't want to end up in a fight you can't win, do you?
VAPOREON: Talk down to me again…
VAPOREON: And I'll find that Dawn Stone...
VAPOREON: And shove it where the sun don't shine.
LUXIO: Fine, but don't blame me…

Luxio: “I… should’ve just turned and run when she was writhing on the ground earlier, huh?”

A few more minutes lead the two to a small room occupied by a Scrafty and a Grotle. It didn't seem they'd been noticed yet, but the Pokemon were facing towards them. There was no sneaking around these ones.

VAPOREON: Show me what's in the bag.

Luxio: “Wait, why are you asking me this now when those Pokémon are there and not-?” ._.
Vaporeon: “Just shut up and do it already!” >_>;

Luxio dumped it out on the ground. It was modestly stocked – three Apples, a Pecha Berry, a Cheri Berry, and a Stun Seed.

Ah yes, I think I see their way out of here… Assuming they can go from one Pokémon to two right now.

LUXIO: Sorry. I usually use the good stuff as soon as I get it.
VAPOREON: Whatever. Just follow my lead, and look really fucking scared.
LUXIO: Not gonna be hard...

She smacked him in the head as hard as she could without falling over, and walked up to the pair.

VAPOREON: If you're with Flareon, it's dead.
VAPOREON: Its throat gargled with blood and water as it died.
VAPOREON: Wanna be next?

Luxio had no trouble looking scared, and her steely glare made it even easier.

LUXIO: P-please. Please let us through. She'll kill me.

I’m honestly surprised that Vaporeon didn’t go straight for enforced method acting like what she did with Wartortle, especially if she doesn’t fully trust Luxio there.

Scrafty and Grotle looked at each other, confused as hell. Vaporeon laughed as loud as she could. Anger and humiliation coursed through her in waves.

GROTLE: Um, sure, yeah. Go right through?
VAPOREON: Well, THANK you.
VAPOREON: Finally someone in this FUCKING PRISON has MANNERS.

Oh, so that’s where they are right now. Though wait, how did Vaporeon realize that they were in a prison since it never came up in earlier dialogue up until just now.

Though I’m not really getting a clear feel for the underlined there or why it’s happening there.

The Scrafty grumbled. She seemed like easy prey, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell the look in her eyes wasn't faked.

SCRAFTY: Sorry our damn home isn't fun enough for you, princess.
VAPOREON: Ooooooh, little tough boy over here.
VAPOREON: Is running your mouth worth your life to you?

Wait, so all these Pokémon that Vaporeon is running into are the equivalent of wilds/ferals? If so, I feel that’s something that the story should ideally communicate a lot earlier than this, since it’d have helped a lot for contextualizing what was going on and helped us learn more about where we are and what’s going on alongside Vaporeon.

Grotle stood a few feet behind her. He stared at Scrafty and shook his head desperately.

SCRAFTY: Make up your damn mind, girl.
SCRAFTY: Do you want to leave, or see what a real dungeon mon can do?
VAPOREON: I could use the backup, if you're such hot shit.

Scrafty scratched his chin, pretending to be on the fence. A rustle of grass erupted from behind her.

LUXIO: Looks like Grotle took the chance to book it.
SCRAFTY: Let's find some adventurer chump, and I'll show you what I can do.
SCRAFTY: You lead, though. I don't know shit about this layout yet.

Oh. So Luxio and now Scrafty joining Vaporeon is basically the equivalent of Dungeon recruiting there. On the one hand, it’s kinda neat to see that being played around with in a story. Even if I kinda feel you should’ve more explicitly established that Grotle was pulling a:

Vaporeon kept walking. She could keep walking, she had to keep walking. The toll on her body was catching up with her, but she could keep going. She glanced around. Nothing but her companions as far as she could see.

Luxio: “‘Companions’ is stretching it there, buddy. I’m literally a hostage right now.” >_>;
Scrafty: “That sounds like a ‘you’ problem, just saying.”

Chapter 4

Spoiler: Line-by-Line

Vaporeon woke up against a wall of trees. The room was empty, except for her and a badly beaten Luxio. Both Pokemon were layered with bruises – some old, some new.

VAPOREON: Urgh. That fucking bastard.
VAPOREON: I should have bit his fucking head off.
LUXIO: Heh. You told him you were a murderer.
LUXIO: The fact that he wanted to follow you at all should have been a red flag.

Luxio rested against the wall, trying to turn the pages of his book with his mouth. He pointedly avoided looking at her.

Though I kinda feel like the whole “Scrafty turned out to only join me to stab me in the back” thing should’ve been depicted and not skipped over. Since it feels like a number of major events such as Vaporeon claiming to be a murderer and what otherwise would’ve been a pretty big character establishing moment for a number of characters, including Luxio here, so it feels a bit jarring to cut ahead to the aftermath so fast.

VAPOREON: Why didn't you run?
LUXIO: Why would I need to? He was busy beating you into paste.
LUXIO: Stronger than I expected, sure, but I had the jump on him.
VAPOREON: You should have used it to run the hell away.
VAPOREON: I told you that you can't trust me.
LUXIO: HAH! Don't recall saying that I do.
VAPOREON: So you're just here to kick me while I'm down?
LUXIO: Nah. Just felt wrong leaving you to him.
LUXIO: He didn't stop when you fainted.
LUXIO: He wasn't gonna until you died.

Yeah, see, this is why I suggested that there should’ve been a moment where Luxio got bailed out thanks to Vaporeon earlier or else something that similarly gets him to think of her as more than a gun at his head, since this entire course of decision-making feels pretty hard to organically justify in-setting. Since unless Luxio clearly sees something more to Vaporeon, why should he care if the Pokémon who for all he knew was about 5 seconds from tearing out his buddy’s throat got beaten to a paste as long as he wasn’t caught up in things in the process?

I do think that you kinda gloss over a lot of changes in mood / reaction here that would show up even in a screenplay, though.

This gave Vaporeon pause. She was finding it increasingly hard to care what happened to her, but... she'd almost just died. Everything gone, just like that, because she'd let her guard down for a moment.

It wouldn't happen again.

VAPOREON: Hmph. My hero.
LUXIO: Yeah, well, I'm not fighting your battles again.
LUXIO: Next fight you pick, it's your ass on the line.
VAPOREON: Attaboy.
LUXIO: My chances with you are still better than my chances alone, anyway.
LUXIO: I'll carry your bags, if you keep your crazy pointed at the enemies.
LUXIO: Get more rest if you need it. I can't afford a room on the static floor.

Luxio: “I mean, I’ve only grenaded my relationship with all the other Pokémon in this Mystery Dungeon because of you, so I guess at this point I kinda have to go all the way, huh?”

Vaporeon stood up again. She wasn't quite healed, but she could walk just fine.

...

Well, she could walk.

Vaporeon: “Which is an incredibly low bar to cross for ‘things not being completely screwed right now’, but you know what, I’ll take it.”

LUXIO: You look like you might disintegrate, but I know better than to argue.
LUXIO: Lead the way or take a nap, your choice.
VAPOREON: I already napped. Let's go.

Vaporeon: “Even if I still don’t have the faintest clue about why you’re being so hard-headed about being at my si-”
- Beat moment -
Vaporeon: “... Oh my gods, you have a crush on me, don’t you?” >_>;
Luxio: “What? No I don’t! You just have a very commanding presence and I didn’t want to see you die!” >///<

Vaporeon led onward again, keeping an eye out for Scrafty. Pokemon were getting more common, but Luxio managed to find a way around the first few.

VAPOREON: Ugh. I guess most adventurers wipe out within the first few floors.
LUXIO: Yeah. You find the worst Pokemon by the entrance and the static floors.
VAPOREON: Well, here – found an Oran.
LUXIO: Don't you need it?
VAPOREON: I wanna be even. I'm not hungry, anyway.

Vaporeon: “I mean, I’d offer to let you go, but A: I need to not die, B: I kinda get the vibe you’d say ‘no’ anyways.” ^^;

The other Pokemon mostly kept to themselves when not approached, but a lone Arbok stood in a passage that couldn't be routed around.

VAPOREON: Move, asshole.
VAPOREON: I'm here to kill the little shit that robbed me.

It moved aside, its forked tongue darting out of its serpentine smile.

Wait, is Vaporeon just making up stuff as she goes along here? Like I suspect that’s what she’s doing since she’s supposed to be an amnesiac with no real knowledge of who she is beyond very hazy lines and whatever she’s told by others, but it feels like something that would’ve benefitted heavily from actually seeing the whole “uh… yeah, I should give this guy an excuse to get him to step aside”-ness play out.

ARBOK: Sssure, sssure.

Vaporeon: “Oh, go figure. The first snake I run into in this hellhole and it does this stupid snake talk thing.” >_>;

Something in its eyes unnerved her, but she was far past caring at this point. She was right – the moment her eyes were turned, it struck. It hurt like hell. It was poisonous as hell, too.

VAPOREON: Mmffh... ambush predator, like I thought.
VAPOREON: Hey, Luxio! Now's your chance to run on ahead!
VAPOREON: FUCKING GO! I can take this guy no problem!

I feel the underlined would’ve worked as something less “told” by the narration and shown through some sort of reaction or something.

Luxio froze for just a moment, then bolted. No surprise there, either.

Vaporeon:

[ ]

ARBOK: What a ssstupid kitty. He wasss ssseriousssly consssidering it.

Another spot where it feels like you’re glossing information over. Like how is Vaporeon reacting to Luxio bailing in spite of her being in a really bad spot anyways?

Arbok lashed lazily at Vaporeon with its hefty tail. She turned to the snake, unconsciousness slowly grasping for her. Not just yet, though. There was one more thing to do.

VAPOREON: Heyyyy... wanna do me a solid?

Poisoned while wrapped in a snake's coil was already a hard position to bargain from. Having no belongings at all made it impossible, but as long as it didn't know that...

VAPOREON: Luxie and I grabbed the Dawn Stone already.
VAPOREON: If you- ngh. Catch the Scrafty that attacked me, and you can have it.
ARBOK: An interesssting offer, to be sssure.
ARBOK: It would be sssacrilegiousss if I took it myssself, but if you already did?
ARBOK: I sssuppossse I will sssee what I can do.

I admittedly was not really feeling this section for a few different reasons. Namely that it felt like you were glossing a number of steps over in the process. For instance, what gives Vaporeon the idea to offer up the Dawn Stone or think that it would move the needle to begin with? And how is the Arbok’s mood evolving at these different points?

Vaporeon awoke at the dungeon's entrance. Her body and mind were still drowning in exhaustion. Her headache had only gotten worse, and even the night sky was too bright for comfort. As she looked up from her dazed awakening, Vaporeon froze.

Cue that one Sonic movie gif, since wasn’t Vaporeon explicitly described as being poisoned earlier? When did she ever address that?

A familiar Scrafty was waiting to meet her. He slammed his fists against the coils of a proud-looking Arbok, but his mouth was held shut by its tail. Next to them, a Luxio laid on his back and looked up at the stars. His face was locked in a scowl.

ARBOK: Everyone isss ssso gullible today.
ARBOK: I told him you were tracking him down, and he fell for the sssame trick!
ARBOK: It worksss every time.
LUXIO: Mmn.
VAPOREON: Mmngh... what's happening?
ARBOK: I got your Ssscrafty, and loverboy wantsss to sssay he'sss sssorry for being a pusssssy.
LUXIO: Fuck you. I just wanted to see if she made it out.
VAPOREON: Put him to sleep, please, and I'll... deal with him.
ARBOK: Asss you wisssh~

I was joking about the Luxio having a crush on Vaporeon there. I do wonder if that was genuinely something that was intended to be a thing if it should’ve been played up more versus what the story went with.

The snake hissed and sank its fangs into Scrafty. He screeched in pain, writhing harder and harder before falling limp. Arbok dumped him on the ground in front of her unceremoniously.

VAPOREON: You two... you don't want to see this.
VAPOREON: Look away, talk among yourselves, whatever.

Vaporeon: “(Wait, why on earth am I doing this instead of just telling Arbok to kill him himself if I don’t want to get my paws dirty?)” >_>;

Vaporeon dragged Scrafty behind some bushes, out of sight of the others and the nearby road. He just laid there. Helpless, just like she had been. What a fucking idiot she was to trust like that. Strength in numbers, she'd assumed. No. Strength was in strength alone, in self-reliance and keeping others where you could see them.

She wrenched open his mouth. His limp body disgusted her. If he wasn't strong enough to resist, he deserved this. Her face twitched as she fired Ice Beam after Ice Beam into his. His body was frozen entirely solid by the time she was done. Was he still alive? No need to guess. Vaporeon shattered the icy Pokemon with her good front paw. She crunched the gorey ice until it was just a mess, and washed the slushy blood away with water.

Yeah, and that worked out really well for you when that Scrafty suckered you earlier, huh? Though I kinda feel like Vaporeon’s thought process here needed a bit more buildup to get here in earlier chapters, since I feel that we’re getting here from Vaporeon originally being a blank slate a bit fast.

Though why on earth did she mention the “take out Scrafty for me” if it wasn’t just a transparent stalling tactic?

Vaporeon stumbled back to her companions, too exhausted to clean the gore off herself first. Luxio looked at her, frightened beyond belief. Arbok looked on smugly. She slumped into a heap.

LUXIO: I'm- I'm going to take off if that's okay?
VAPOREON: I told you, boy. You can't trust anyone.

Luxio backed up slowly. In one swift motion, he turned and ran for his life. Arbok watched over her with a disturbing grin, making no moves towards her. She felt disgusted with herself.

Vaporeon: “Oh, so now his sense of self-preservation kicks in here. Wonderful.” >_>;

VAPOREON: You look happy.
ARBOK: I wasss wondering what you were planning with him. I've never ssseen anything like that.
ARBOK: It'sss not my ssstyle, persssonally, but I do ressspect you for it.
VAPOREON: Don't get any ideas. I'm special.
ARBOK: Oh, I can tell that for sssure. I've been around the block.
ARBOK: A cute little Vaporeon'sss Ice Beam? That ssshould not be asss ssstrong asss it isss on you.
VAPOREON: It shouldn't be so exhausting to use, either.
ARBOK: Loverboy would sssay you ssshould pace yourssself.
ARBOK: Me? I think it'sss funny to watch.

Another spot where you’re smooshing over a number of small moments / changes in mood that I think would be significant enough to reflect in a screenplay.

Vaporeon: “(Wait, what the hell was I before I lost my memory anyways? Since he’s right, Scrafty aren’t weak Pokémon, and I just killed that one like it was nothing!)”

Vaporeon glared at it at the mention of Luxio. It froze, dropping its grin.

ARBOK: My apologiesss. I like to have fun, but I certainly don't mean to anger you.
VAPOREON: I bet you fucking don't.
ARBOK: I hold no illusssionsss about why I beat you.
ARBOK: You were weak and tired, and you let your guard down for jussst a moment.
ARBOK: You could sssurely kill me now, if you ssso desssired.
VAPOREON: Half wanted you to just eat me and end my misery.
ARBOK: Worrisssome.
VAPOREON: I woke up at the end of that dungeon with no memory and no leg.
VAPOREON: There was a smug asshole Flareon who's probably my sibling or spouse or something.
VAPOREON: It obviously knew more than it let on.
VAPOREON: I took that kid hostage to carry my shit, but he was nice to me. Now he's gone.
ARBOK: I'm sssure you could win him back sssomeday, if you meet again.
ARBOK: He ssseemed like the sssimple type. I don't mean that asss an insssult, mind you.
ARBOK: Ssstill, what a worrying ssstory.
ARBOK: Perhapsss sssome time in the townsss would be a better ssstart than the dungeonsss?
ARBOK: Forgive me if my inssspiring advice ssskillsss are russsty. I mossstly jussst take what I want.
VAPOREON: Hmf. I assume you'll follow me around too?
ARBOK: You ssstill owe me for catching the Ssscrafty, unlesssss you want to go back on that.
ARBOK: I won't pursssue you if you do. I'm not ssstupid.
VAPOREON: Oh. Yeah, I was lying. The Dawn Stone was gone when I got there.
VAPOREON: You can still follow. I'm sure I'll tear a path of blood through some other dungeon.
VAPOREON: Maybe you can grab some loot as we go.
ARBOK: Better than sssticking around here.
ARBOK: You can trussst me, though you ssshouldn't, and I'm sssure you won't.
VAPOREON: I don't. I appreciate you not asking me to.

Uh… yeah, that’s a very long conversation there, and I feel that there’s enough going on here that even in screenplay format, there’d be a couple notes for cues for what the characters should be doing / stuff going on in the background here and there.

It flicked its tail about, and the two set off.

ARBOK: Like I sssaid, I'm not ssstupid. I'll follow asss long asss it'sss worth it to.
VAPOREON: Then let's see how long that lasts.

Oh yeah, this will end well™ for everyone involved, I’m sure.

End of Act One

Spoiler: Line-by-Line

INTERMISSION ONE

A FORGOTTEN STREAM OF THOUGHT

FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF ???????, TO ???????[/CENTER]

Oh, so we do have different perspectives in play in this story, duly noted.

I sit in my home. Waiting. Watching.

You enter without a word.

You have every right to, you seem to think.

Not a thought given to what happened last time.

Not a thought given to every time before.​

Wait, is that about Vaporeon, or…?

I greet you.



There's no life behind my eyes.



There's no meaning to my words.



You don't notice.



You don't need there to be any.​

Okay, yeah, this is about Vaporeon, I can already tell. Even if I wonder if this is addressed to her, and if so, who is doing that?

You ask how I am. I don't answer.



I ask how you are. You just laugh.



About as good as usual, then.



This is the best we get anymore.





Emboldened, I ask you to leave. You ignore me.



You've got an offer for me, you say.



You've seen what I want and you can make it happen.





Fool that I am, I listen.​

Wait, this is Luxio’s perspective right now, isn’t it? Since this sure feels very “Luxio” at the moment.

I’m admittedly a bit unsure as to how useful my feedback will be since your story appears to already be done end-to-end and you’re just crossposting it at this stage, but I figured I’d bring up the stuff that works and the stuff that didn’t for you to take stock of and either decide to apply to this story, or else whatever’s next down the pipe for you.

Alright, to start off with the stuff that worked, but your overall presentation is very slick, especially for the off-TR versions since the art and the colored text add a lot of “pop” to this story that help smooth over the other issues that I had with it. Like it oozes that there was a lot of love and care put into this story, and if you’re so inclined, it’s very much possible to bring the same party tricks your other versions of the story have here to TR (protip: copy the text from the first quoteblock with the proof of concept into a post window, and then hit the 'Toggle BB code' button to view the markup formatting). I also thought that the choice of having a protagonist that was a hardened criminal or else something adjacent to it (it’s a bit hard to tell so far with Vaporeon having amnesia) was a pretty ballsy choice for a protagonist, and by and large, you owned it pretty well with your story.

And now we get to the parts which are a bit less gushy about my reading experience. Like it’d be easy for me to just go “ew, a scriptfic”, but that’d hardly be fair since script format is a legitimate storytelling medium in spite of it carrying a bad rap in fanfiction circles, and once upon a time, I myself did my fair share of script format storytelling that’s still on the internet for people who know where to look for it. I do feel that your present format is kinda in a weird limbo between prose and script format, and as such, it stumbles in ways that going all-in on prose format or else on the script side, something like a screenplay wouldn’t have suffered from. Right now, the number one area where this story seems to trip up over itself is that a number of details that are needed to get across the “where”, “when”, “what’, and “how” of what’s happening aren’t fully being communicated, which while easier to pull off in prose format, isn’t impossible to do in a script format either. Also, much of what is is being told to us bluntly as readers via exposition as opposed to something we can gather by seeing things unfold. It winds up making things like the whole sequence of Luxio joining Vaporeon in the first place, Luxio’s growing attachment to Vaporeon feel like it’s coming out of left field instead of something that’s organically built up, ditto how Vaporeon’s able to connect the dots regarding the significance of the Dawn Stone to use it to get herself out of a very snake-y death. I also felt like there were parts of the story where you just weirdly offscreened moments that otherwise could’ve been pretty important and impactful, like Scrafty turning on Vaporeon shortly after being recruited and Vaporeon being saved thanks to Luxio’s intervention after everything that had happened between the two of them, which… you know, felt like the sort of thing that would’ve been worth showing off in a chapter of its own instead of offscreening between two chapters since it’s a pretty big chance to show off how different characters are as personalities.

For what it’s worth, I felt that the core of your story wasn’t bad, but its present execution felt like it undercut the different beats that it was going for. I’ll leave it to you to decide how to progress from here, @val-triplicate , since sometimes there comes a point for stories where you need to just take some flaws on the chin as a writer and keep moving on to later and greater things. (I do still think you should port over some of your other versions' flourishes here, since again, not as impossible as you thought, and it adds a bit to the reading experience.) I do hope that you found the feedback helpful here, and I’ll be looking forward to see the sorts of stories you’ll tell with a bit more polish and tightening up your fundamentals a bit, since you clearly have quite a bit of passion as a storyteller.

 

[val-triplicate]

Hi - thank you for your review. I really appreciate it, even if there's quite a lot of room to improve on my end. I knew that going in, with this being so much rougher than my other stories, but it's still very helpful in the long run. I hope it's okay if I don't respond to most of the points. Most of it I agree with, some of it is confusion over future plot points, and some is just misunderstanding what's there, but all of it could have been done much better. I will at least respond to the most broad points.

you can very much do most of your PDF/offsite versions' party tricks here too through BBCode magic

I did notice this, actually - I apologize for the unclear phrasing in the intro post. The problem was just ensuring that each text color was readable on each background. Possible, sure, but very time consuming. It didn't seem worth it, when I didn't know how many people would read it here instead of other sites.

Ahhh… I see that your story’s a scriptfic.

Yep. In fairness, I didn't even know what a scriptfic was when I wrote this. I didn't join the community until I had all three books written - certainly too late by that point. I don't think it was an awful decision as a rookie writer, but it's not a shortcut I need anymore. My next project is definitely not going to be one.

For what it’s worth, I felt that the core of your story wasn’t bad, but its present execution felt like it undercut the different beats that it was going for. I’ll leave it to you to decide how to progress from here, @val-triplicate , since sometimes there comes a point for stories where you need to just take some flaws on the chin as a writer and keep moving on to later and greater things.

I appreciate that, thank you. I think at this point I'm just hoping to have this mirrored as quickly as I can - I really would like to move onto later and greater things. I could try to find a solution for the background color issue, but it just doesn't feel worth it for a story I'm not as proud of as I once was. It's been a year, after all - I've grown a lot. Hopefully I'll continue to do so.

 

[val-triplicate]

Vaporeon walked down the street, looking around for shops and signs. Jolteon was still in town, so with luck he might be back at his hotel by now. That district was most of the way across the city, but something caught her eye first. Mawile's Blacksmithing. It was on the way, after all.

VAPOREON: Am I really gonna ask?
VAPOREON: I guess there's no harm in it.

The shop was among the smallest in the area, and stepping inside made this even more apparent. The forge couldn't have been more than 30 feet away, emitting absurd levels of sound and heat.

The Mawile's monstrous grin met her eyes the moment she stepped in. It took her a moment to remember how the species worked – the razor-sharp jaws would be the back head, then. It didn't react to her presence. With so much noise going on, she couldn't blame it. She wasn't intimidated, though, not after what she'd been through. If anything, she was curious.

VAPOREON: Uh, hello there.
MAWILE: Mm? Oh – a cust'mer.
MAWILE: Be right w'th you.

The blacksmith spent another five minutes finishing up the horseshoe she was working on, then turned around. Her voice was certainly odd – Vaporeon had expected her to talk with her back head, but she only used the front one. Now that she could see it face-to-face, it didn't seem like the front face really had the range of motion it'd need to speak clearly.

MAWILE: S'rry ab't that. Can't let the m'tal be wasted.
VAPOREON: Ah, yeah. I understand.
VAPOREON: So um, I was wondering if you made prosthetics?

She felt a little shy wiggling her stump for the smith.

MAWILE: Mm. I c'n.
MAWILE: Not cheap though. 500 incl'ding mat'rials.
MAWILE: 100 up front, at least. G've me about a m'nth?

Vaporeon thought to herself and nodded. She might be able to scrounge that up on the way, providing Reshiram didn't fry her outright.

VAPOREON: I think I can work with that. Let me see how much I have right now.

She dug into her bag for her purse. Fuck. There had been exactly 100 to start with, but she'd spent 10 of it at that restaurant. That's what she got for trying to be nice to herself for fucking once.

Vaporeon looked up and gave an awkward smile to the blacksmith. She wanted this really badly, but Mawile had been clear on the down payment... the gears in her head turned, trying to find a way through.

VAPOREON: Umm... Give me a bit, I'll be right back.
MAWILE: Take your t'me.

Vaporeon nodded and rushed backwards to Phox's Pho. The restaurant was still open, thankfully. It was just past the dinner rush now. She rushed up to the counter, dying of embarrassment.

DELPHOX: ☆ Oh? Hungry again already? ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ I don't know whether my food is that good, or just not filling! ☆
VAPOREON: Uhh... Look, I need some help and you were really nice to me.
VAPOREON: I need to make a little bit of money.
VAPOREON: Is there anything I can do? I can wash dishes, mop floors, anything.
DELPHOX: ☆ Oh! I would be happy to help however I can. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Let's see, what needs doing... ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Hm. I think I have most everything covered, sadly. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ I don't suppose extra food would help? ☆

Vaporeon whined.

VAPOREON: L-look, there's this... I have almost enough for a down payment on a new leg.
VAPOREON: I'll be able to pay you back really soon. Within a day or two.

Delphox's face softened.

DELPHOX: ☆ How much do you need? ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ I can loan you a bit, but times are tight with the sea so dormant. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ I may have fibbed a bit about business being good, sad to say. ☆
VAPOREON: Just ten. I'll pay you back as soon as I can.
VAPOREON: I'm going dungeoning soon, and Jolteon can cover for me if I flake. I promise.

She nodded and gave Vaporeon the money.

DELPHOX: ☆ Best of luck, then. ☆
DELPHOX: ☆ Do come and show me once you have the leg! ☆

Vaporeon held the coins like they were made of glass. Mawile was clanging away again when Vaporeon returned. She finished up and turned around.

MAWILE: W'lcome back. Figured you j'st weren't int'rested.
MAWILE: You m'ke up your mind?

Vaporeon pulled the money from her purse, ten coins heavier than before. Mawile took them just as carefully, like they would vanish if she looked at them too hard.

VAPOREON: Yeah, I was just getting the last of the down payment.
MAWILE: Ah – r'lly? Thank you.
MAWILE: B'siness has been... sl'w. This will h'lp.
VAPOREON: Happy to help out!
VAPOREON: Tomorrow I'm setting out for Reshiram's dungeon to get the rest of the money, and the metal for you.
VAPOREON: I'll grab all the ore I can find, and you can keep it.
MAWILE: Oh? B'st of luck with th't.
MAWILE: There sh'ld be some good ir'n there.
MAWILE: I'll kn'ck the price d'wn if you get enough.
MAWILE: Wh'le you do th't, I'll start d'signing the piece.
VAPOREON: Thank you!
VAPOREON: I spent all my money, but if there's anything I can do for you in the meantime, I... I, uh... I would like to.

Mawile thought about it for a moment. She stared at Vaporeon with intense eyes and a muted expression.

MAWILE: M'surements would h'lp.
MAWILE: If you can st'nd my company for an hour or two, the l'mb will fit b'tter.
VAPOREON: Yeah, of course.
VAPOREON: I don't really get what you mean, though. Is there something unpleasant about you?
MAWILE: Is there n't?
MAWILE: The t'rrifying teeth?
MAWILE: The m'ffled voice?
MAWILE: The general m'sery?
MAWILE: None of th't is noticeable?
VAPOREON: I mean... I see most of that, but none of it bothers me.
VAPOREON: Your jaws balance out your cute face, your voice is just a disability, and everyone seems to be kind of miserable around here.
MAWILE: ...
MAWILE: You're the f'rst to tell me any of th't.
MAWILE: Pl'se. Stay a while. I need the c'mpany.

Vaporeon smiled again.

VAPOREON: I got nowhere to be until tomorrow.

She looked around the shop and took it in deeper, turning back to Mawile.

VAPOREON: Nice place you got here.
MAWILE: You th'nk so? I should have l'sted it among the pr'blems, really.
MAWILE: I l'ke it fine, but c'stomers hate the chaos of the f'rge.
MAWILE: Can't aff'rd anywhere bigger. S'meday.
VAPOREON: I hope things pick up for you.
VAPOREON: Your smile is really cute, and I'd like to see you happy.

Mawile almost dropped the tape measure. She teared up a little.

MAWILE: P-pl'se. Keep saying th't...
VAPOREON: ...has nobody ever said that to you before?
VAPOREON: I really do mean it.
MAWILE: N'ver. It's why I... n'vermind.

She sat down, processing a whole lot of emotions.

MAWILE: T'll me about y'rself, too?
MAWILE: Th're's not m'ch else to kn'w about me.

Vaporeon whined quietly. It might ruin everything between them to be honest. But Mawile deserved that trust. She had to be able to give it, or none of this would mean anything.

VAPOREON: I'm not really sure.
VAPOREON: I woke up with no memories, and I kind of went nuts for a while.
VAPOREON: Guild dragged me to see Mesprit, and I'm going to go see Reshiram to find out what happened to me.

Mawile studied her deeply. She couldn't take it. That stare, that searching, prying stare that seemed to cut into her and dig around for all her crimes and danger.

Yet the moment passed, and Mawile simply smiled. For some reason, it looked less panicked than before.

MAWILE: I appr'ciate you tr'sting me with that.
MAWILE: B'st of luck with R'shir'm. I've heard it's str'ng as they come.
VAPOREON: Yeah, but so am I. For whatever reason, I'm insanely strong.
VAPOREON: I can fire off a hyper beam that'd bring this whole building down.
MAWILE: Pl'se don't.
VAPOREON: Hey, I just said I could, not that I would.
VAPOREON: Feel free to point me at any rival blacksmiths, though.

Mawile laughed a bit. The gesture seemed to hurt her mouth a little, as it contorted in mild pain.

MAWILE: Heh. Again, pl'se don't.
MAWILE: Tink'ton is the cl'sest thing I have to a fr'nd on this cont'nent.
VAPOREON: Ah, that's nice. I'd like to have friends someday, too.
VAPOREON: So far I've mostly just hurt everyone I know.
VAPOREON: Hence the uh, bracelet from Mesprit.

MAWILE: Well, I'd... be gl'd to be your fr'nd, if you'll have me
MAWILE: You don't h've to worry about h'rting me. I'm not w'rth much anyway.

Vaporeon looked away. She sure she had a path to the door, just in case.

VAPOREON: I just... want to warn you first, though. Before we even consider that.
VAPOREON: I'm a murderer.
VAPOREON: I was too strong to have a mental block put on.
VAPOREON: That's why the guild sent me to Mesprit. They couldn't fix me.
VAPOREON: I nearly killed the guild member who took me, too.
MAWILE: ...
MAWILE: Why did you k'll them?
MAWILE: You said you w'nt nuts. Was there a r'son, or do you j'st... do that?

Vaporeon tensed. She's spilled this much, might as well be completely open.

VAPOREON: I don't know what I did before I woke up with no memories.
VAPOREON: When I did, there was someone there who taunted me until I snapped.
VAPOREON: A Flareon.
VAPOREON: There's also a Jolteon following me, and the three of us might be family.
VAPOREON: ...
VAPOREON: Scrafty tried to kill me first. I was scared, angry and recovering from fuck knows what.

Mawile nodded. She placed her hands on her lap.

MAWILE: Okay. I b'lieve you.
MAWILE: Thank you ag'n for being honest. I kn'w it isn't easy.
MAWILE: I'm n't afraid of you. You seem n'ce, and I can tell you c're.

Vaporeon shook and sobbed a little.

VAPOREON: Thank you... Thank you, it... It means the world to me.

After a few attempts aborted out of anxiety, Mawile offered her a hand. Vaporeon nuzzled it.

MAWILE: As does your k'ndness.
VAPOREON: You deserve it.
VAPOREON: Your heart must be so big, to try for someone like me.
MAWILE: We'll h've to see... it's been c'llecting dust for y'rs.
VAPOREON: I'll do anything for you.
MAWILE: Heh. A g'rl could think you're ask'ng her out with talk l'ke that.
VAPOREON: Hehe. Is that a no?
MAWILE: Ah- w't, really?
VAPOREON: Why not?
VAPOREON: Your face is cute, your jaws are badass, you got a heart of gold and you're damn talented.
VAPOREON: Anyone would be lucky to have you.
MAWILE: Ah... if- if you th'nk so. Who am I to disagree.
MAWILE: Then... V'poreon, will you be my- my g'rlfriend?

Vaporeon nuzzled her, on both the front face and the back.

VAPOREON: In a heartbeat, Mawile.

Mawile hugged her in a heartbeat of her own. It was a clumsy affair, all elbows and desperation. But there was love there, freshly-sown and ready to grow.

There would be time for the hotel later. There would be time for measurements, for conversations and for whatever damn destiny was still clawing at the door. For now, they had each other, and she couldn't be happier.

 

[val-triplicate]

Art by Rusty-Eevee!​

---

INTERMISSION FOUR

A FORGOTTEN STREAM OF THOUGHT

FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF ??????, TO ???????
​

---

I visit you again today.

I visit you as often as they allow me.

You tell me to leave. I don't know if you mean it.

It doesn't matter. It's not your choice anymore.


I ask you why you did it.

You explain it as best you can.

I don't understand, but I don't admit it.

I ask you why you let things get that bad.

You don't answer. This, I do understand.


I ask you if I could have prevented it.

I could have, but you don't admit it.

I ask you if I should have done it so you didn't have to.

You are furious at the thought, but you know I would have.

You know I wish I had.


You ask me what is going to happen to you.

I already know, but I don't admit it.

You ask me if I still love you.


I tell you that I do.​

 

[val-triplicate]

Vaporeon stayed the night with her new girlfriend, and stepped out into a sharply sunny day. She glanced around, studying a map posted on a sign. Ten minutes to the hotel, then five to the docks. Maybe she'd take one more detour before Reshiram, but she couldn't put off Jolteon again. He needed her as much as she needed him.

The hotel was one of the fancier ones on the block, advertising itself with large neon signs.

CHARGED INN!​

Vaporeon smiled. As expected, he must really like electricity. Hardly any businesses she'd seen had it at all.

She entered the lobby and gazed around. The place was slightly dark, similar to Phox's Pho. In this case, however, it was lit by odd glass tubes and artificial lighting. Vaporeon had never seen these before, and the basic world lore she could still remember didn't offer any hints.

An attentive Hawlucha stood behind the front desk, with an exhausted-looking Pichu next to him. She walked up to them, stepping carefully.

VAPOREON: Hey, um, I'm looking for my brother.
VAPOREON: He's a weird looking Jolteon. Is he still here?
HAWLUCHA: Jolteon, Jolteon...
HAWLUCHA: Yes, he's in Room 35.
HAWLUCHA: Shall I let him know you're coming?
VAPOREON: Yes please. Hopefully he's not busy.

The bird pressed a button on a grid behind him. It seemed to tire Pichu out a little more. After twenty-odd seconds, the button lit up green.

HAWLUCHA: He's ready to see you.
VAPOREON: Thanks.
HAWLUCHA: Is there anything else we can do for you?
HAWLUCHA: Any guest of our guests is a guest of ours.
VAPOREON: Are they ok?

She gestured with her stump towards Pichu.

PICHU: S-sorry.
PICHU: I'll be fine. I go on break in two minutes.
VAPOREON: Do you want some ice?

Pichu looked up at Hawlucha, who gave them a gentle smile.

HAWLUCHA: Take your break early, Pichu.
HAWLUCHA: I'll let Helioptile know her break is done.

The bird pressed a few buttons, summoning the replacement as the lights in the room dimmed.

VAPOREON: Oh... I meant as in... um... well, what form do you want it in?

They thought for a moment, then tapped their forehead.

PICHU: Maybe like a helmet?
PICHU: I could work off this headache at record speed.
VAPOREON: Uh, I can't really control it that well, but...
VAPOREON: Um, just come here and I'll- I'll blow it onto you.

Pichu caught their breath, then hopped up excitedly onto the counter. They held still with a smile. Fuck.

They really had no idea. She was so close to them now, she couldn't just back down. Vaporeon trembled lightly as she remembered the feeling of the Ice Beams passing through her jaws. The sticky, squelching crunch of bone as she stomped and stomped and-

Enough. She was better than this now. She had grown, and she had overcome so much. If she couldn't do a nice favor for a little mouse, how could she take on a god? How could she return to the woman who she'd talked into trusting her? She had to prove herself here and now. If she failed... whatever the consequences were, she'd deserve them.

Vaporeon took a deep breath. She counted to three, then back down. Next, three seconds of intense focus on Mesprit's bracelet. Before she could convince herself otherwise, she shut her eyes and blew the lightest dusting of ice she possibly could.

PICHU: Ah...
VAPOREON: A-are you okay??
PICHU: Huh? Yeah, this really helps!
PICHU: Thank you so much!
VAPOREON: Oh thank fuck...
HAWLUCHA: You have my thanks as well.
HAWLUCHA: We do what we can for our valued Electric employees, but ice is expensive.
VAPOREON: Fuck. Just... I don't know.
VAPOREON: Pass any thanks off to Mawile, the blacksmith.
VAPOREON: I have to get going.
HAWLUCHA: Of course. Enjoy your stay, ma'am.

The path onward was dark and uncertain as she walked. She bumped into a few things, but the lights returned a few moments later. Helioptile must have finished her break.

Room 35 was silent from the hallway, so Vaporeon put her head to the door. There was definitely someone in there, but the breathing sounded shaky and shallow. That was enough of that, she should have just knocked to begin with.

VAPOREON: Jolteon?
JOLTEON: C-come in, please.

Jolteon was lying on his side, wrapped under the bed's covers. He looked like he'd been crying for a while now. Poor bastard. His eyes lit up with emotion.

JOLTEON: Hey... good morning, Vaporeon.
JOLTEON: Are you heading off today?
VAPOREON: Yeah... just wanted to see you before I...
VAPOREON: Before it kills me.
JOLTEON: ...
JOLTEON: It won't kill you if you lose, you know.

Vaporeon ignored him. She reached out a paw, which he turned away from.

VAPOREON: Are you ok? You sound...
JOLTEON: I'm sure I can just tell you this.
JOLTEON: Reshiram can't be compelled to lie.
JOLTEON: If you win, it'll tell it what you want to know. Even he couldn't stop it.
VAPOREON: "He" being-
JOLTEON: BUT. If you lose.
JOLTEON: It'll tell you just the right combination of truths that...
JOLTEON: Please. Even if that happens.
JOLTEON: Just keep fighting. You can try again.
VAPOREON: What else would I do?
JOLTEON: ...
JOLTEON: Many who lose to Reshiram kill themselves.
JOLTEON: They can't handle what it has to say.
JOLTEON: I- I promise you! Things are never as bad as it makes it sound.
JOLTEON: But it just says... "THEY COULD NOT STAND THE TRUTH. THUS THEY DESERVED IT NOT."
VAPOREON: I promise.
VAPOREON: Whatever it says, I've been through worse.
VAPOREON: But I have to do this. I have to know.
VAPOREON: I'm trying to build a life now.
VAPOREON: I can't do that until I'm free.

Jolteon began to cry, loud and fearful sobs shaking the bed like a boat in a storm. Vaporeon climbed up and curled against him. He let out a quiet whine.

JOLTEON: Vaporeon...
VAPOREON: Yeah?
JOLTEON: If- if it's not too much to ask.
JOLTEON: Could I take you somewhere?
JOLTEON: A restaurant that we- that you'd like.
JOLTEON: Before... it all comes to a head.
VAPOREON: ...okay. Do you need some time to recover first?
JOLTEON: If you don't mind.
VAPOREON: Of course.
VAPOREON: I'll meet you here in an hour.

Jolteon smiled as bright as she'd ever seen him when Vaporeon returned. The thought made her heart sink a little – now that she'd seen behind it, the cheeriness was much more obviously forced.

VAPOREON: Hey.
JOLTEON: Hey! You ready?
VAPOREON: Sure am. Lead the way.
VAPOREON: Oh! Actually.
JOLTEON: Yeah?
VAPOREON: Let's stop by the docks first.
VAPOREON: I had something I wanted to look into.

The docks were too close to the hotel to spark any chatter, but Vaporeon hung close to Jolteon regardless. Her mental state felt like it randomized every day lately, and this new ability to feel even a little trust was one she was utterly drunk on.

The port seemed markedly desolate, even to someone who'd never seen one. All around were signs of disuse, from the empty stalls crowding the boardwalk to the pieces of ships dashed across the dock. Jolteon paced around with clear anxiety.

This was a long shot, and she knew it, but- there! Vaporeon dashed over to the Pokemon she'd been looking for.

VAPOREON: Excuse me!
OTHER VAPOREON: Oh! Hi, darling.
OTHER VAPOREON: You here for the atmosphere too?
OTHER VAPOREON: There's precious little left besides it.
VAPOREON: No, actually. I was looking for another Vaporeon specifically.
OTHER VAPOREON: Well, you've certainly found her. Vyss, at your service.

Vaporeon studied her with an intense expression.

VYSS: If you're looking to buy some fish, you won't find any.
VYSS: Not even if you could survive the waters. We checked.
VAPOREON: I, uh. I'll be looking into that, sorta.
VYSS: Oh? You're an adventurer then?
VYSS: I'd be thrilled to help if I can.
VAPOREON: Well, it's not really related.
VAPOREON: I'm just... curious about myself.
VAPOREON: I've never met another Vaporeon, but I know I'm not supposed to be like this.
VYSS: Ah... I wouldn't be too worried.
VYSS: I did notice, but I doubt most would.
VYSS: I've had this body for over a decade, after all.
VAPOREON: This one is very new to me... it's a long story.
VYSS: Well, I won't keep you. Best of luck with your quest, yes?
VAPOREON: Yeah. Thank you.
VAPOREON: Get your boat ready. I think the fish will be back sooner than you expect.

Jolteon walked alongside Vaporeon as he led her back through the town. Both were lost completely in thought for a number of minutes. Jolteon spoke first, his tone a gnarled mess of melancholic pride.

JOLTEON: You've really grown a lot.
VAPOREON: Yeah.
VAPOREON: Am I now... how I was before?
JOLTEON: ...
JOLTEON: You're happier now, I think.
VAPOREON: I see.
VAPOREON: ...
VAPOREON: Can you do me a favor?
JOLTEON: Anything at all. Anything I can, I mean.
VAPOREON: This could get broken in the fight.
VAPOREON: Hold onto it until I get back, okay?

She slipped off the bracelet and placed it in front of Jolteon. He put it gingerly on.

JOLTEON: I will. You'll- you'll be fine. It'll all be okay.

Vaporeon smiled gently as it glowed with psychic energy. Her emotions boiled in her mind, but she found grounding in her own self. She knew how to handle herself now. He needed it more.

 

[val-triplicate]

The restaurant was easy to miss, especially in the eclectic environment of Basin City. It was its own isolated building, which was unusual around here, and the bricks were of an odd style. But there were no signs to imply any purpose to the place, and no sign of use that she could tell. Vaporeon circled the supposed restaurant – there weren’t any entrances at all. What the hell was this place?

VAPOREON: Is, uh. Are you sure you have the right place?
JOLTEON: Yeah. It's a really long story, I'll tell you some other time.
JOLTEON: That part of the wall is fake, mostly. Just run through it.
VAPOREON: You're sure I'm not going to get my skull smashed.
JOLTEON: Positive. If it helps, I'll go first.

Jolteon backed up a few feet, then ran directly forward. The wall shimmered slightly as he passed through it.

JOLTEON: Water's fine! I promise!

Vaporeon took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Another test of her new claim of stability... well, she wasn't backing down now. She charged forward, ready to get turned into paste by the brick wall. Instead, she bowled directly into Jolteon.

VAPOREON: AUGH! Down in front!
JOLTEON: Shit, sorry!

The entire restaurant dazzled with psychic power, lights blazing from every angle. It reminded her of Phox's Pho, in a way. If that place had felt like home despite the novelty, though, this room radiated like the surface of a star – complete with a piercingly loud, high-pitched voice.

VICTINI: WELCOME! You finally fucking showed!
JOLTEON: Victini! A little tact!
VICTINI: Can't I be excited to see an old friend?
VAPOREON: An old- we knew each other?
VICTINI: Sure did! Oh, the stories I could tell you if I could tell you them!
VICTINI: I bet if I'm vague enough I could give you a sense of most of 'em.
JOLTEON: We're here for some food, Victini. Can you do that or not?
VICTINI: Can you do that or not? The fucking disrespect!

Vaporeon gave the floating weirdo a smile. His look of frustration vanished in an instant.

VAPOREON: Sorry I don't remember you. I'm still glad to see you though.
VICTINI: It's great to see you too!!! We have to hang out again.
VICTINI: Have you been keeping up with your updog?
VAPOREON: Sorry, I haven't. I think it got lost alongside my sugma.

Victini burst out laughing, and Vaporeon followed quickly after. Even Jolteon couldn't help but crack a smile, his tail wagging strongly.

VICTINI: I was so hoping you'd fall for that!
JOLTEON: And here I'd forgotten why you two got along so well.
VICTINI: No one else could get her out of her shell like me!
VICTINI: It's a shame it- well, you know.
VAPOREON: Heh. I'm used to the vague hints by now. Don't even sweat it.
VAPOREON: I got a request for you though, sunspot.
VICTINI: Hit me!
VAPOREON: I need a little victory.
VAPOREON: Or just something so tasty, I don't notice a Blue Flare to the face.
VICTINI: Sorry, Vaporeon. They were really clear I couldn't rig this match.
VICTINI: There was a whole fucking lecture on everything they'd do if I tried.
VICTINI: ...
VICTINI: However,
JOLTEON: NO, Victini.
VAPOREON: Second it is. Sorry, bud.
VICTINI: Ugh, you all are so BORING!
VICTINI: I can do it though. Just you watch, it's gonna blow your tits off.

Vaporeon leaned over to him to whisper. He responded in kind, purposefully loud enough for Jolteon to hear.

VAPOREON: He's moody, but be nice to him. He's going through a lot.
VICTINI: Yeah, I know. Has he opened up to you about his "being a little bitch" syndrome?
JOLTEON: The FOOD, please.

She gave Jolteon a hug, and the tension melted out of him. He looked away, embarrassed by how much it comforted him.

VAPOREON: You're sure you like this place?
JOLTEON: It's... complicated. We get along fine, there's just some bad blood.
JOLTEON: It's fine, though. There's no better chef in the world, as annoying as he can be.
VAPOREON: I'm fine, if you're worried for my sake. I can take a little tension.
JOLTEON: Of course. Sorry for worrying.

Victini waited patiently for as long as he could stand, which was a predictably brief window.

VICTINI: You done? You can't rush me on the food when you haven't even ORDERED!
VAPOREON: Oh. Right.
VAPOREON: Sorry, I guess I figured you'd already know.
VICTINI: What you like? Sure, but not what that body likes.
VICTINI: If it's allergic to Nanab and I kill you with it, my reviews will tank!
JOLTEON: Who's reviewing this place...?
VICTINI: Not you, that's for sure! Come by more often and maybe I'd care.
VAPOREON: I don't have any allergies, but go ahead and scan me if you want.
VAPOREON: I have nothing to hide.
VICTINI: Thanks!

Vaporeon felt an intrusion in her mind, with no warning given. It was still much lighter than Espeon's memory scan, but the caution and tact Delphox had used was completely absent here. If it was possible to have one's brain turned over and examined, it must feel something like this.

VAPOREON: Nngh. You get what you need, floaty?
VICTINI: Yep! It's mostly the same, I'll just have to do it on the fly this time.
VICTINI: It'll still be good though!
VICTINI: If it doesn't make you cry with joy, I'll throw my apron into the blender!

Victini vanished in a puff of smoke and stars. Loud noises rang out from the kitchen in back as he got to work.

VAPOREON: You holding up?
JOLTEON: Yeah. It's nice to spend time with you even if I'm kind of falling apart today.
VAPOREON: Just relax if you can. I'm not going anywhere yet either way.
JOLTEON: It helps that this place is almost always empty.
JOLTEON: I've never seen another customer here besides us.
VAPOREON: Did Flareon come here too?
VAPOREON: It seems like it'd either love or hate Victini.
JOLTEON: It... used to.
JOLTEON: It hasn't in a while. You'll see why soon.
JOLTEON: It's taken a lot of things very hard.
VAPOREON: I'll make it up to it.
JOLTEON: If we make it through all this, I think it'll forgive you eventually.
JOLTEON: Just... be patient with it, if that's what you want.
JOLTEON: I'll be talking to it and trying to make this as smooth as possible, I promise.
VAPOREON: Drag its ass gently. Got it.
JOLTEON: Heh. We'll see.

Vaporeon and Jolteon seated themselves in a nearby booth. The food took a good half hour, but the time spent resting in each other's company was a reward of its own. The moment she truly let her guard down, a staggering array of food materialized before her. There were steaming plates of steaks and pastas, a mountain of shrimp, and five times as many berry types as she'd seen in her life. Every dish was coated in its own sauce, giving off smells she could barely comprehend.

She didn't wait for permission and started digging in, slurping sauce and chomping down. Jolteon had a similar spread, and Vaporeon could smell the spice all the way from where she sat. Every one of his dishes was shaped like a middle finger, though he dug in with the same ferocity regardless.

...

Wow. Holy fucking shit. This – it was without description. Vaporeon's breath caught in her throat, half-convinced that her tongue would fall off from how good it tasted.

She felt energized, she felt powerful, she felt certain. The world was hers to explore, and every last bit of it would go her way. She felt certain of it. Forces would line up to stop her, and she would dodge them all so nimbly it would seem she wasn't trying at all.

She would be trying, though. It would be a fight for everything she cared about, and she would be scared. All she knew was that through all of it, through every last struggle and heartbreak – she knew she had what it took. She studied this confidence and let it overwrite some of the doubt, anger, and sadness in her soul.

VAPOREON: This- this was a great idea, Jolteon. Thank you so much.

Jolteon didn't respond. He was crying and whimpering softly, but a peaceful smile rested on his face.

JOLTEON: It's- it's going to be okay...

The tension released from his body, and he let his face drop hard onto the table.

VAPOREON: It's going to be ok.

She gave him a sweet smile. He heard her this time and smiled back.

JOLTEON: I love you, sis. We've got this.
VICTINI: Hehe. Everything to your liking?
VAPOREON: Heh. You could say that.
VAPOREON: Thank you, Victini. This is exactly what I needed.

He took a breath, and for a moment the smug cheerfulness slipped a fraction.

VICTINI: You'll do great, Vaporeon. I'm glad I could send you off.

Victini and Vaporeon shared a look of genuine trust, before the moment of vulnerability passed.

VAPOREON: Keep that chin up, you're not rid of this bitch yet.
VAPOREON: Jolt, we're going to the guild.
JOLTEON: Of course. I- I think I'm ready.
JOLTEON: Victini. Thank you.
VICTINI: First time I've gotten you to shut up like that – I must be getting better at this!
VAPOREON: See you soon, sunspot.

---

Xatu was well ready for them when they arrived. A sturdy backpack held all the supplies they could spare. She doubted she could carry much more, anyway.

(XATU: There is one more item I can offer you.)
(XATU: You do not have to accept it now.)

They teleported forth a Reviver Seed, delicate yet vibrant. They placed it in a sturdy glass orb and packed it with dirt to keep it safe.

VAPOREON: These... aren't these super rare and valuable?
(XATU: They are, yet this is an important mission.)
(XATU: This is the only one we have; you will not be getting another.)
(XATU: If you think you will fail, remember that you can choose not to activate it.)

She nodded seriously and accepted it.

VAPOREON: ...can you send a message to someone for me?
(XATU: Of course. What would you like it to say, and to whom?)
VAPOREON: Spidops.
VAPOREON: I want it to say... I'm sorry for yelling at you, and I lied about how much I hurt her.
VAPOREON: I lied to myself, too. I was always going to save her.
VAPOREON: I'm going to come see you if Reshiram doesn't kill me, so you have the option too.

Xatu was still for a moment, mentally looking through their files for the address.

(XATU: Of course. I will let her know.)
(XATU: Is there anything else, or are you ready to leave?)

She glared at them, impulsive hate in her eyes. It made her hate herself too, but she managed to calm down on the latter. She wasn't here to be nice, and Xatu didn't need her to be.

VAPOREON: No. Let's go.

In an instant, she was on another mountain. This one was not cold, despite the elevation. Heat radiated from below her paws – bearable, for now.

VAPOREON: Fucking mountains.
VAPOREON: If I make a lair, I'm having it be in a lake. Or an island.
JOLTEON: Heh. You assume you don't already have one.
VAPOREON: ...
VAPOREON: This might be the last time we see each other like this, right?
VAPOREON: Rather than... what we were before.

Jolteon hugged her tight. She hugged back weakly.

JOLTEON: Whatever happens is gonna happen.
JOLTEON: Stay strong, fight hard, and remember I love you.
JOLTEON: No matter who comes out of that mountain, I always will.
VAPOREON: ...thanks, bro.
VAPOREON: Then I won't keep you waiting.

She gave him one last squeeze, and stepped forth into the dungeon.

 

[val-triplicate]

The heat was unbearable in the volcano. Every cell of her body felt like it might boil away, but Vaporeon pressed on. Her type gave her a solid advantage against the Fire-types in the dungeon, at least. The Dragon-types scattered about fared little better either. There were also more items here than she had expected. Little mercies, and all. By the time she reached the first of two static floors, she was battered and unhappy, but she had plenty of stamina left.

The floor was just as crowded as the one in Magnet Pass, though the room was bigger. Despite the better typing, the dungeon was of higher level than she'd ever been to, and it clearly saw a fair bit of traffic. Pokemon walked about with purpose, shoving past each other as they made critical transactions and traded sparse greetings. A guild representative – an authoritative-looking Pyroar – approached her with a few items to restock with.

PYROAR: Heal your wounds and carry on. You have plenty left to go.
VAPOREON: Ugh... thank you. This place is harder than I thought.
VAPOREON: Hey, you haven't seen a weird Flareon around here, have you?
PYROAR: I have. It passed by a while ago, headed further in. Were you looking for it?
VAPOREON: It and Reshiram, of course. Thank you.
PYROAR: Of course. Best of luck – you have the guild's full support.

The second set of floors was a bit more difficult, and her resources began to dwindle slowly. A lucky find of a Max Elixir kept her fighting spirit on point, though collecting metal was more draining than she had expected. The Pokemon in this dungeon were at least more polite than she was used to, and the explorers she came across all walked with purpose.

When Vaporeon reached the second and final static floor, she was very winded. A Magmortar greeted her as the floor's guild representative, topping off her supplies.

MAGMORTAR: Take care and fight hard, ma'am.
MAGMORTAR: We won't have as much to spare if you need a second try.
VAPOREON: Aah... hah... thanks. Where's... Flareon?
MAGMORTAR: There's plenty of Flareons here.
MAGMORTAR: If you're looking for the one that seemed to be an explorer, then up ahead.
MAGMORTAR: It passed maybe a half an hour ago.
VAPOREON: Fuck... alright.

The heat was worse on the final set of floors. Dragon-types were rare this far in, the depths populated only by Pokemon who relished in the scorching air. It did make battles easier, not to have to worry about Dragon-type moves as often, but it sure didn't feel better.

The 60th floor would be the boss, and indeed the 59th floor seemed to be a non-static floor like normal. However, in place of the enemies and items she expected to find, there stood Flareon. It spoke with a carefully-constructed neutral tone.

VAPOREON: Ahh... haah... finally...
FLAREON: You took your time.

Vaporeon used Blizzard across the room to cool it down a bit. She was careful to avoid hitting Flareon. It dropped to a battle stance, but faltered as the attack passed it by.

FLAREON: Looking to avoid draining your resources?
FLAREON: Clever, but I'm not playing that game this time.

Vaporeon walked up to Flareon slowly. It blasted her with a weak Flamethrower. She growled but ignored it, closing the distance between them. Flareon grinned and put more power into the next one, but she weakened it just enough with a blast of water.

Once she reached her sibling, she pulled it into a forceful hug.

VAPOREON: You can stop now.

It trembled with anger, and attacked with a vicious bite.

FLAREON: I can stop now? I can STOP?
FLAREON: You have no fucking clue what's at a stake, and you think I can just stop.
FLAREON: Maybe you think I'm here because I hate you.

Flareon pushed her roughly off it. It growled as she lay on the ground.

FLAREON: I assure you, there is more at stake here than making you pay for what you've done.
VAPOREON: Yeah. I believe you.
VAPOREON: But fighting me isn't going to do anything but make it take longer for this to end.
VAPOREON: Are you just scared?
FLAREON: Of COURSE I'm fucking scared!
FLAREON: I have to deal with your goddamn fallout, and you get to do whatever the hell you want.
VAPOREON: Then why didn't you help me first?

It disappeared in a blink, ramming painfully into her with a Quick Attack.

FLAREON: If there was an answer that was better than this, we'd be doing it!
VAPOREON: There is! Calm the fuck down and STOP!
FLAREON: Fucking enlighten me, then.
FLAREON: This brilliant strategy from the goddamn head-empty, violence-first amnesiac.
VAPOREON: Well, here's a hint. You were fucking wrong.
VAPOREON: My path of friendship and flowers CURED me of my stupid pointless violence.
VAPOREON: So I'm going to bash my head against this infinite threat for everyone who got me here, for our brother, and for YOU.
VAPOREON: Just calm down and let me HELP END YOUR PAIN!

It growled angrily and bit her one more time for good measure.

FLAREON: Fine.
FLAREON: I'll spend the last affection I ever had for you to give you one goddamn chance.
FLAREON: If you aren't able to beat what's coming for you, I'll race him to kill you myself.
FLAREON: And sure. If you manage to pull this all off, we can have a picnic and have feelings again.
FLAREON: Just like old fucking times.
FLAREON: You'll need every damn advantage you can get, and you won't get any more from me.
VAPOREON: Deal.
VAPOREON: I'll throw my stupid wet body at him as many times as it takes.
VAPOREON: I'll suffer as much as you have, if it proves that I mean what I say.

She gave it another hug, took a moment for the pain to subside, and left for the final floor.

The final floor was dark as night, when she stepped in. She had taken stock just before encountering Flareon – all she had was one Oran Berry and the Reviver Seed left. No PP-restoring items left, but she had almost all of her energy left on that front. The only damage she'd taken since her last Oran was from Flareon.

A roar bellowed from the darkness, and towering torches burst into flame on every side of her. Standing in the middle, as proud as a lion with the intensity of ten, was Reshiram.

RESHIRAM: COME.
RESHIRAM: SHOW ME THAT YOUR PASSION IS WORTH THE PAIN IT WILL BRING.
RESHIRAM: SHOW ME THAT YOU SEEK TRUTH OVER SAFETY, THAT YOU SEEK TRUTH OVER ALL ELSE.
VAPOREON: All I am is pain. All I am is passion.
VAPOREON: I've been saving up every violent urge of my whole life JUST TO FORCE OUT THE TRUTH!

She readied herself for battle, searching for any advantage she could possibly grasp. Reshiram was resolute, and its eyes were twice as passionate as she could ever imagine. It was clearly no fool, and it wouldn't let its guard down for a moment, no matter what she did.

However, her experience with combat did give her a few insights. A powerful sense of pride would prevent it from switching tactics quickly, and it might be too willing to take small losses rather than let its guard down.

She darted past it, firing Blizzards at the ceiling and walls until they started to frost over. Each strike was precise, with just the amount of force it needed. She'd learned to control herself just in time.

Reshiram roared, pouring heat into the room to slow the process. It wouldn't outpace her, but one look at it told her it was stronger than she was. She would never win a battle of stamina. However, she didn't need to win this one. It was just helping her with her plan.

By the time Vaporeon gave up on the ice, it had melted into a large pool of water around Reshiram's feet. She leapt forward and melted into the water. Every time she got a chance, she popped out to blast a Hydro Pump at Reshiram's face from unpredictable angles.

It howled with anger, furious at the deceptive tactic. No matter – the truth would reveal itself. Another roar shook the room. The water around Vaporeon began to heat and boil, and she barely managed to avoid critical damage with a dolphin jump outwards.

Vaporeon aimed straight at it. From its stance, it had expected her to retreat. It clearly didn't understand her at all. She landed with her one front paw in its open jaw and slammed her arm down as hard as she could. A four-legged Vaporeon could probably have held on without the unimaginable pain that wedging between its teeth earned her, but she had to improvise.

Reshiram panicked and repeatedly bit down, trying to seize the opportunity for an attack. Vaporeon sobbed as her paw cracked and crunched, but she forced herself onward. It was working. She had all the room in the world to work now.

Vaporeon charged up Hyper Beam after Hyper Beam and blasted them down its throat. She threw in a few Icicle Crashes too, in hopes to lower its core temperature and start hampering its fire. Reshiram roared in pain, but kept biting harder while she attacked. Once it processed what she was up to, it charged a Hyper Beam of its own, and blasted her out of its mouth.

The beam hurt more than she had imagined possible, but she was clinging to consciousness yet. Reshiram panted for a moment, allowing a brief reprieve as it gathered its wits. Vaporeon was tempted to push forward, but her injuries were intense. She ate her Oran Berry, but took a Blue Flare to the face the moment she'd healed up.

Fuck. Everything still hurt, and she could barely walk with her injured paw. She swam instead, using Blizzard to freeze the battle's residual water into ice and pin Reshiram in place. It howled in anger, but didn't break through. She let it freeze around her too, spitting out just enough scalding water to make an exit point.

It waited until just the right moment, and burst straight through the ice to attack. Crashing through the ice winded it, but it had the element of surprise and it used it to the fullest. Another powerful bite pierced into Vaporeon's flesh, and she wondered if that might have outright killed her had she not healed.

She melted around the bite and slipped out. Its hide was tough, and its throat wasn't the weak point she'd hoped it would be. Maybe instead... Vaporeon flooded the floor with water one more time, and swam behind the colossal beast. It thrashed about, boiling the water in an instant. That was fine. She just had to make the jump.

Vaporeon leapt onto its tail. FUCK. Fuck it was hot. If anything was going to damage it, it was this, but she felt like she was going to die just being next to it. No time to spare. She breathed in, and let loose. Her berserk rage channeled everything that had ever made her feel angry, powerless, sad, or hateful. She directed her fiery force of murderous rage into its tail engine. She gave it everything she had and more, and then more.

From her saddlebag, she could feel the Reviver Seed humming with energy. She was so close, she could feel it... the seed vanished with a flash, and she felt fully healed. It felt great, for the split second before the overwhelming heat began to boil her once again. She grit her teeth and resumed her assault.

VAPOREON: Reshiram, I'm going to take you down!
VAPOREON: If it takes me a year. IF IT TAKES ME A THOUSAND!
RESHIRAM: GOOD!
RESHIRAM: IF A THOUSAND YEARS WAS ENOUGH TO STOP YOU, YOU WOULD NOT DESERVE MY TRUTHS IN A MILLION.

The tail shot up, and Vaporeon was launched into the air. A powerful burst of blue flame shot towards her, arcing and spinning. She countered it with Hyper Beam aimed square between its eyes. It was stronger. She knew it was stronger. This was all hopeless.

But she didn't give up. She couldn't. She had to know the truth, and she'd die for the chance if she had to. The flame connected with her, and Vaporeon fainted.

 

[val-triplicate]

Vaporeon's body screamed with soreness when she woke up. The pain of the battle had mostly faded, but what remained was still mind-rending. She looked up at Reshiram with fear in her eyes. She'd lost, hadn't she?

RESHIRAM: I AM PROUD OF YOU, SUICUNE.

She'd won? But, Suicune...

RESHIRAM: I HAD HOPED THIS WOULD BE THE OUTCOME.
VAPOREON: If I'm Suicune...
RESHIRAM: THAT IS CORRECT.
RESHIRAM: JOLTEON IS NONE OTHER THAN YOUR BROTHER, RAIKOU.
RESHIRAM: FLAREON, LIKEWISE, IS YOUR SIBLING ENTEI.

Vaporeon's head spun for a long time. She'd been so certain... it was a lot to take in, either way.

RESHIRAM: I MUST WARN YOU THAT MY PHRASING REGARDING IDENTITY IS AN OVERSIMPLIFICATION.
RESHIRAM: THE NATURE OF THE AFTERLIFE MEANS THAT SOULS-
VAPOREON: Shut up. Please, just. Stay on topic, okay?
RESHIRAM: OF COURSE, SUICUNE.
RESHIRAM: I MEAN ONLY TO AVOID LIES BY OMISSION.
RESHIRAM: IF TECHNICALITIES HOLD NO INTEREST FOR YOU, I WILL NOT BRING THEM UP AGAIN.
VAPOREON: Thanks. And... it's just Vaporeon, for now.

Vaporeon hadn't managed to get to her feet yet, and she certainly wasn't trying anymore. Questions spun so fast in her mind she could hardly grab one to ask. Yet the more she thought, the louder two in particular became. Why, and what now?

VAPOREON: Wait. What is this great threat that I'm supposed to be so scared of?
RESHIRAM: LUGIA.
RESHIRAM: YOU HAVE BEEN SENT HERE AS PUNISHMENT FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
RESHIRAM: YOUR TASK WAS SIMPLY TO SUFFER TO HIS SATISFACTION.
RESHIRAM: NOW THAT YOU KNOW THE TRUTH, ALL EFFORTS TO APPEASE HIM IN THIS WAY ARE NULL AND VOID.
VAPOREON: Is he the one who's been forcing the secrecy?
RESHIRAM: THAT IS CORRECT.
VAPOREON: How? Don't you outnumber him?
RESHIRAM: WE DO.
RESHIRAM: SHOULD WE DECIDE TO, WE COULD EASILY KILL HIM FOR HIS ABUSE OF POWER.
RESHIRAM: WERE WE TO DO SO, OR EVEN TO DISOBEY, ALL MORTALS WOULD PERISH.
RESHIRAM: DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE THE SEA HOLDS TO THE SURVIVAL OF ALL.
VAPOREON: What about Kyogre?
RESHIRAM: KYOGRE HAS NOT BEEN SEEN IN MANY, MANY MILLENNIA.
RESHIRAM: AFTER HER WAR AGAINST HER BROTHER, THEY AND RAYQUAZA HAVE BEEN EFFECTIVELY DECEASED.
RESHIRAM: I WILL NOT TELL YOU MORE THAN THIS.

Right. That explained why everyone was losing their shit, but...

VAPOREON: What did I do?
VAPOREON: Was it the same insanity and instability that I had when I was bound and wiped?
VAPOREON: I can take it. Please, tell me.
RESHIRAM: YOU MURDERED MOLTRES.
RESHIRAM: IT WAS LUGIA'S FAVORITE CHILD.

She stood in silent shock. Of course it was murder. Of fucking COURSE she killed someone else. Vaporeon curled up and began to shake.

RESHIRAM: A LEGENDARY IS NOT MORTAL, BUT IT IS NOT UNKILLABLE.
RESHIRAM: IN A MOMENT OF FURY, YOU ENDED THE LIFE OF ONE WHO WOULD OTHERWISE HAVE BEEN WITH US FOR ALL TIME.
RESHIRAM: THE SLAYING WAS NOT UNPROVOKED, BUT-
VAPOREON: NO.
VAPOREON: Don't you DARE pretend I had any right to kill.
VAPOREON: I don't now and I didn't fucking then.
RESHIRAM: ETHICS ARE NOT MY DOMAIN, VAPOREON.
RESHIRAM: I MEANT ONLY TO GIVE YOU PERTINENT-
VAPOREON: PERTINENT MY ASS!
VAPOREON: I don't need forgiveness. I don't need reasons and nuanced justifications.
VAPOREON: I need RESULTS.
VAPOREON: If it were up to me, I'd let Lugia string me up for what I've done.
VAPOREON: But it fucking isn't. Too maybe people depend on me.
VAPOREON: As stupid as they are for it, they would miss me. I won't run from that either.
RESHIRAM: YOU IMPRESS ME ONCE MORE, VAPOREON.
RESHIRAM: I CAN SEE THE TRUTH BREAK YOU, YET YOU CARRY THE PIECES FORWARD TO YOUR GOAL REGARDLESS.
RESHIRAM: LET ME BE YOUR TOOL IN THIS. YOU NEED NOT MY BIOGRAPHIES, BUT MY DOSSIERS.
RESHIRAM: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
VAPOREON: What am I up against?
VAPOREON: Who is on his side, and who's on mine?
RESHIRAM: YOU ARE HATED, TO A DEGREE. MORE THAN THIS, YOU ARE FEARED.
RESHIRAM: TO THE GODS, YOU REPRESENT MURDER ITSELF.
RESHIRAM: MOST WISH TO SEE YOU PUNISHED, FOR YOU REPRESENT THE IDEA THAT THEY ARE NOT AS UNTOUCHABLE AS THEY HAD THOUGHT.
RESHIRAM: HOWEVER.
RESHIRAM: LUGIA IS NOW HATED MORE THAN YOU, AND THE MARGIN IS NOT CLOSE.
RESHIRAM: IF YOU REPRESENT MURDER, LUGIA REPRESENTS WAR.
RESHIRAM: IN ONE MOMENT, YOU MADE A GRAVE ERROR, AND YOU HAVE SET A DANGEROUS CHAIN OF EVENTS IN PLAY.
RESHIRAM: LUGIA, HOWEVER, IS HOLDING THE ENTIRE WORLD HOSTAGE IN HIS PAIN.
RESHIRAM: THESE ACTIONS ARE NOT CONSIDERED COMPARABLE, AND FEW WOULD SIDE WITH HIM WERE A CONCLUSIVE BATTLE POSSIBLE.
VAPOREON: ...
VAPOREON: I really don't want more of the same.
VAPOREON: Slaughter got me into this. I don't want it to be what gets me out.
RESHIRAM: A PEACEFUL SOLUTION MAY BE POSSIBLE. I WOULD NOT KNOW.
VAPOREON: Right. What about his allies? Surely he has some.
RESHIRAM: THE ONLY POKEMON WHO MIGHT NOT SUPPORT YOU ARE THOSE WHO WERE CLOSEST TO MOLTRES.
RESHIRAM: ITS BROTHER, ZAPDOS.
RESHIRAM: ITS SISTER, ARTICUNO.
RESHIRAM: ITS PARTNER, ENTEI.
VAPOREON: ...oh.
VAPOREON: Of course.
RESHIRAM: NONE HAVE SEEN ZAPDOS OR ARTICUNO SINCE MOLTRES WAS KILLED.
RESHIRAM: MANY WORRY THEY MAY BE DEAD AS WELL, BUT THEY ARE NOT.
RESHIRAM: THEY ARE SIMPLY COPING WITH THE LOSS IN THEIR OWN WAYS.
VAPOREON: What happened to Ho-oh?
RESHIRAM: YOUR MOTHER IS MORE BOUND THAN ANY OF US.
RESHIRAM: HER DAUGHTER KILLED THE CHILD OF HER CLOSEST FRIEND, AND SHE IS IN DEEP MOURNING FOR BOTH SIDES.
RESHIRAM: MORE THAN ANY OTHER, HO-OH HAS BEEN FORCED TO TAKE A ROLE THAT HAS TORN HER TO SHREDS.
RESHIRAM: PLEASE BE KIND TO HER WHEN YOU SEE HER. SHE IS WATCHING YOU ALWAYS.
VAPOREON: Alright. If that's everything then... I hope you'll be ok.

Her heart hurt. Her head hurt. She needed to lie down and sleep forever, but not now. Not yet. There was work to be done.

RESHIRAM: IT IS EVERYTHING I FEEL NEEDS TO BE SAID.
RESHIRAM: YOU MAY RETURN TO ASK MORE ON THIS TOPIC IF YOU FEEL THE NEED.
RESHIRAM: I WILL BE FINE. MY ROLE WAS APPROVED, AS MUCH AS LUGIA RESENTED IT.
RESHIRAM: HE COULD NOT COMPEL ME TO DENY YOU THE TRUTH, EVEN IF I WANTED TO.
VAPOREON: ...one more question.
VAPOREON: Why the FUCK am I missing a leg?
RESHIRAM: IT WAS ANOTHER PUNISHMENT FROM LUGIA.
RESHIRAM: HE DID NOT WANT YOU AT FULL POWER, EVEN IF YOU REGAINED YOUR MEMORIES.

She imagined the great beast tearing it free himself in violent fury.

RESHIRAM: IT HAS BEEN MENTIONED TO YOU BEFORE, BUT I WILL SAY IT AGAIN.
RESHIRAM: CHOOSE YOUR PATH FROM HERE CAREFULLY.
RESHIRAM: LUGIA WILL BE WAITING TO SPEAK WITH YOU, NOW THAT THE CURTAINS HAVE RAISED.
VAPOREON: I'll make this right... as best I can...

Reshiram flourished a wing, and Xatu appeared beside it.

RESHIRAM: RAIKOU HAS CONVINCED HIM TO GIVE YOU AN HOUR. NO MORE.
RESHIRAM: TAKE XATU AND GO WHEREVER YOU WISH, BUT DO NOT DELAY ANY FURTHER.
RESHIRAM: YOUR SIBLINGS ARE AT THE ENTRANCE TO THE VOLCANO, SHOULD YOU WISH TO SPEAK TO THEM.
VAPOREON: I do. Thank you, Reshiram.
RESHIRAM: FOR ALL OF OUR SAKES, VAPOREON. GOOD LUCK.

 

[val-triplicate]

Art by Rusty-Eevee!​

---

INTERMISSION FIVE​

A FORGOTTEN STREAM OF THOUGHT​

FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF VICTINI, TO SUICUNE​

---

I'm washing dishes. There's gotta be thirty.​

They're already clean, but that's not the point.​

It's just a chance to be away from the fight.
​

You've had this one before.​

Many times. Almost word-for-word.​

I could recite it if I wanted to.​

Last time, I took a nasty bruise breaking it up.​

This time, I'm washing dishes.​

You take the bruise instead.
​

There's silence in the room.​

It's loud enough I can hear it from the kitchen.​

You've both shown up with injuries before.​

This is the first time you'll leave with even more.​

It'll be the last time, too.
​

I put my dishes down and rush out to defuse.​

It's too little, too late.​

I reassure you that things get heated sometimes.​

You're both still welcome here, as long as you keep it civil.​

I know you won't keep it civil, but I would miss you.
​

I'll miss you both.​

 

[val-triplicate]

VAPOREON: Xatu... can I get you to send letters?

Vaporeon paced anxiously around the guild building. No one else was left inside it – she glanced outside. It seemed no one was left in the city at all.

(XATU: Yes. I will have the message sent directly to their location.)

The bird tossed a bottle of ink into the air, as well as some sheets of paper. Both were caught by psychic power, ready for near-instant writing.

VAPOREON: Okay, Espeon needs to know right the fuck away.
VAPOREON: We're the Legendary Beasts, Lugia is super pissed at me for killing his child, and that's why I am what I am.
VAPOREON: I have to let him grieve and help however I can.
VAPOREON: And... tell her thanks for still trying.

Xatu nodded, ink flying. In less than five seconds, they floated the finished letter over for her approval.

VAPOREON: Yeah, good. Send.
VAPOREON: Next, Victini.
VAPOREON: Tell him I'm sorry for taking so long, but I did it.

The letter produced for approval was vague, as Xatu did not understand what was being said. However, it got the main point she was trying to convey.

VAPOREON: Good enough, we're on the clock.
VAPOREON: Mawile... send her all this metal I gathered, and tell her I'm sorry that I can't come see her yet.
VAPOREON: But ask her if she wants to- to go on a date if I survive this.
VAPOREON: You guys fucking owe me for this all, so I'm going to send you the bill for that.
(XATU: Of course; for the fate of the world, that is a very easy ask.)
VAPOREON: Yeah, well it won't be the only one. But it's enough for now.

Xatu blinked, and the metal disappeared, replaced with a clunky cloth bundle. Another letter, an approval, and the letter and metal were both sent away.

VAPOREON: Ah, fuck... Luxio and Arbok.
VAPOREON: Tell them the whole story I told Espeon, and that I'll meet them in Basin City.

The letters written were identical, with Xatu knowing little context. Good enough. After twenty seconds of waiting, they found the two and sent off the letters.

(XATU: Are there any other letters you would like to send?)
VAPOREON: No. But there's three places I want to visit.
VAPOREON: The entrance of Forest Grotto, then to Spidops' cabin, then outside the volcano.

The bird gave a quick nod, and the two were at the first destination in an instant.

Vaporeon took a moment to find the bush where it had all gone down. On that night, she had left naught but bloody slush. By now, it was just bones. She gathered and buried them, along with a heart made out of pure ice.

VAPOREON: I'm sorry, little guy.
VAPOREON: You were at the worst place at the worst time, but... maybe the lesson you taught me will go on to save so many more.

The heart glistened with light as it was lowered into the ground. Wind rustled through the bush, and the sounds of the dungeon and the forest carried on as always.

She walked back to Xatu. They extended a wing, pointing to the ground in front of them. She stood there, and the next moment they were in front of a familiar cabin.

She gazed at it sadly. She tromped around to try and trigger a trap, but there weren't any this close to the door. Vaporeon sighed and called out.

VAPOREON: Hello? Is anyone home?

A bustle of activity came from behind the door, and it swung open with the tug of a web strand. Sitting at the table were Spidops, holding a cup of tea with two legs, and Espeon, holding a letter with her psychic abilities.

Right. Of course they'd be in the same place. That made this more efficient, if infinitely more stressful. Vaporeon stood dead still, waiting to either be told to fuck off or enter. Spidops sighed.

SPIDOPS: You might as well come in.
ESPEON: Vap- Suicune, is that you?
VAPOREON: You don't have to call me that.
ESPEON: Vaporeon, then.
ESPEON: It's good to hear you defeated Reshiram – how are you holding up?
VAPOREON: I'm mostly here to apologize again to Spidops.
VAPOREON: Partially to say my goodbyes, too. Lugia's going to fucking kill me.

There was a heavy silence. Spidops was ignoring her apology, but that was fair enough. Vaporeon had dodged Espeon's concern for her much the same.

ESPEON: I'm sorry my analysis was wrong.
VAPOREON: It was closer than I would have gotten alone.
VAPOREON: You were... the biggest help anyone's ever been to me and I'm really sorry I dragged you down that awful mountain for my obsession.
SPIDOPS: What's done is done.
SPIDOPS: It sounds like you have gotten the help you needed, and I am proud and furious to have married such a compassionate woman.

Espeon winced, guilt on her face. Both Eeveelutions were very close to tears.

ESPEON: I- I hope you take care of yourself, Vaporeon.
ESPEON: It does not sound like your journey is done, but I am proud to have helped you how I could.
VAPOREON: It might prove to be the deciding factor in saving this world.
VAPOREON: And yet all I feel is guilt, for all the regular Pokemon I have hurt.
VAPOREON: This journey began with two murders, and it might end in a third.

Espeon nodded. The worrying words hurt like a knife, but the commendation seemed to soothe just as much.

ESPEON: I made the right decision, then. I regret nothing at all.

A leg flew out, and Espeon yelped in pain.

ESPEON: W-what I mean to say is, I should not have risked my life for yours, but I am glad to have helped put this tragic tale on the right path.
VAPOREON: Thank you... that second one means more to me, actually.

Espeon smiled, seeming proud of that response.

VAPOREON: Xatu. Last stop, please.
ESPEON: Thank you for letting us know.
ESPEON: I can only appease my wife so much, but please do write.
VAPOREON: Yeah. If this is it, goodbye.
ESPEON: Goodbye, Suicune. Vaporeon.

The pair disappeared, leaving behind nothing at all. Vaporeon stretched out as much as she could, and looked around for her siblings. A Raikou and an Entei towered over the entrance sign. The electric cat looked right at her, but the fire dog did not meet her gaze.

VAPOREON: Rai. Tei. It's... good to see you two together.
RAIKOU: Sui. I'm glad to see you made it, sister.

Love and relief filled every part of Raikou's voice, but Entei's was colder than ever.

ENTEI: Let's see what you can do about this, then.
VAPOREON: ...you really loved it, Entei.

Vaporeon spoke softly. Entei growled and shook, tears in its eyes.

ENTEI: I did.
ENTEI: Someday I hope you feel that loss, too.

She stepped back. Raikou smacked his sibling, frustration rising.

RAIKOU: Be. Civil.
RAIKOU: We have a fight to stop.
VAPOREON: You mean I do.
RAIKOU: Lugia demanded to see you. He didn't say you had to come alone.
RAIKOU: I'm done being passive. If you're going down, I'm going down with you.
VAPOREON: I won't let you die for me.
VAPOREON: But... I'd appreciate you coming, even still.
VAPOREON: ...
VAPOREON: You can take his side if you want, Entei.
ENTEI: ...I meant what I said.
ENTEI: I don't place my grief above the fate of the world.
ENTEI: As much as Lugia thinks it will, the death of thousands will not bring it back.
ENTEI: ...if it would, the volcanoes would be erupting alongside the seas. But it would not.

Vaporeon paced as she usually did, working her nerve up as much as she could.

VAPOREON: I buried the last of my sins today.
VAPOREON: It's time to do the same for the past version of me.
RAIKOU: Whatever happens, Suicune, I'm behind you.
RAIKOU: If... if this goes sour, and we don't all make it, I'm proud of who you've become.
VAPOREON: Don't... call me Suicune right now, please.
VAPOREON: Until this is all over, I'm just Vaporeon.
RAIKOU: Of course, Vaporeon.
VAPOREON: Are we... ready to go?
ENTEI: ...
ENTEI: I will accompany you if you think it would help.
ENTEI: I will not be pleasant, but I will be civil. I would like this resolved.
VAPOREON: That's all I ask.
ENTEI: Then that is all you will receive.

She smiled at it and nodded to Xatu. A blinding flash of light enveloped the area, and they were gone.

 

[val-triplicate]

The energy in the cave was deafening. Winds whipped around the entire cave, and the pressure in the air felt almost lethal.

Three beasts stood on one side of a large stone clearing – two large, one small. Three birds stood on the other side – two large, one massive.

LUGIA: GROVEL.

He pointed to Vaporeon alone with his wing. This force, this pressure... Vaporeon was more scared than she could have ever imagined. She began crying and dropped to the floor in a bow, shivering and pleading.

VAPOREON: L-l-lugia... I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Lugia was impassive, and held his wing out for a full minute. Finally, he dropped it to resting position, satisfied with Vaporeon's deference.

LUGIA: Up.

She stopped crying, and sniffled weakly as she sat up. The gaze that met hers was intense, and the fury of the oceans pierced through her soul.

LUGIA: You are here because you refused to stay in your proper place.
LUGIA: Your siblings pleaded and squealed for a peaceful resolution.
LUGIA: Should you wish to leave here alive, and return to a world with mortals, you will convince us this resolution is desirable.
VAPOREON: Y-y-yes, sir.
LUGIA: All must be convinced.
LUGIA: All who you have stolen my child away from.
LUGIA: All whose lives were shattered by your disgusting, bloated pride.
LUGIA: You have five minutes to think and prepare a case. Begin.
VAPOREON: Th-thank you...

The room's pressure doubled. For the first time since the incident, all remaining birds and beasts were in the same room, save for Ho-oh.

Articuno shuffled anxiously. She looked like she was itching to take off flying at any moment. Every few seconds her eyes would flit between Vaporeon and Lugia, but she couldn't stand to look at either. She just forced them closed.

Zapdos shuddered with discomfort, hatred and grief boiling in the same electric cauldron. He looked like he might attack to kill if she looked at him wrong, so she resolved to avoid his eyes.

Vaporeon sat and thought deeply. This was fucking awful. She'd already known she couldn't be trusted with power, but this was her first time being truly useless. Even fighting Reshiram they felt roughly equal, but here? She was a drop in the bucket compared to the might before her.

It was time to truly accept that she deserved no authority over anyone else. She didn't deserve it, she didn't want it, and she didn't need it. Every problem she'd ever caused had come from power, and every solution from giving it up.

She gave up against Espeon. She tried to make amends with Spidops, with Luxio and Arbok, and with Scrafty. When she was at her best, she could forget she was even strong at all.

How could she convince these titans that knew what she was better than she did? She looked to the people she hurt in her past life. She must have been as cruel and bitter then as when she'd woken up. No wonder they wanted to hurt her. Who wouldn't?

Then she looked to her siblings, who were once as small as she was and were now unbound and free.

VAPOREON: H-h-hey... r-r-raikou...

Raikou plodded anxiously over to her. He had never looked powerless, like she had. Neither he or their sibling had a drop of power reduced. However, they had both looked terrified, and they both still did. Nothing had changed for them, save for their relationship with their sister.

He nodded, unspeaking but prompting her to continue.

VAPOREON: E-en... t-tei...

It growled, shaking with frustration and grief, and turned to face her. It was clear it had been crying.

Vaporeon turned and looked to the birds again. And at Lugia. Her eyes were full of fear, but even more so full of remorse.

(VAPOREON: How can I claim to know suffering if I have no idea what you've been through?)
(VAPOREON: Please... I have to know. Don't hold it back...)

She begged mentally at the psychic god. Not for forgiveness, not for mercy, but to know what it wanted.

Lugia looked at her, disbelief in her presumptuousness flashing across his face.

Then, he grinned.

(LUGIA: You wish to know what I've been through?)
(LUGIA: You wish to experience that?)
(LUGIA: What a wonderful idea. Let me show you.)

A powerful explosion of psychic energy flushed through Vaporeon, and her mind was erased.

 

[val-triplicate]

Suicune opened her eyes. Where was she... right, of course. Voltaic Chasm, 38th floor. She hadn't heard from Raikou in a week, and she was getting worried. She smiled placidly as the part of her that remembered otherwise was silenced.

Something felt off as Suicune dashed down the twisting path of yellow rock. Shouldn't she have run into other Pokemon by now? Raikou was notorious for skipping out on his dungeon, but it wasn't like him not to at least keep it running. She sped up. Whatever was going on, it couldn't be good.

---

​

No. No, no, no, no... Suicune's knees buckled and she fell. Before her sat the corpse of her brother. Stood blankly above it, Moltres.

(VAPOREON: THAT... HOW... NO! NOOOOOO!!!!)

Some part of her knew this was not real, that Moltres was the dead one and not Raikou. However, this part was drowned out a million times over as she stared at the corpse.

Blood pooled from his body, his face permanently etched in a look of fear and horror. Moltres simply stared at it.

(VAPOREON: Raiii! Please!! It'll be ok!!)
(VAPOREON: You can't be! You can't be!!!)

No sound came from the cat or from the bird. The only sounds were from the dungeon around them. The sounds of life moving on for everyone else.

Time didn't stop for the world, only for her.

Nothing of any importance had occurred for anyone, only for her.

Everyone else got to be happy, got to give a pittance of sympathy and thank the stars it hadn't happened to them.

There was no getting back what she had lost. He was gone forever, and that bird bitch was still here.

For what? A rivalry?

For what? A few snide words in passing?

This was not the time for snide words. This was the time for action.

She couldn't make Moltres give back what it had taken. All she could do was make sure Moltres spent every second it had left in agonized regret.

It may have won the fight, but it would not win the war.

Anger surged through her, powerful and dominating.

Without knowing how, Suicune found herself by a lake of lava, face to face with the bird that had killed her brother.

(VAPOREON: YOU!!!)

Moltres stepped back, looking threatened. Good.

(LUGIA: I'm. I'm sorry.)
(LUGIA: I didn't mean to.)
(VAPOREON: SORRY ISN'T DAMN NEAR GOOD ENOUGH!!!)
(LUGIA: I'm sorry!!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...)
(LUGIA: I didn't mean to hurt it, but- but I'm sorry, but I can't do anything else now...)

This was not true.

There was a way to get more.

Suicune was not the strongest Pokemon in the world, but she had influence.

She did not have power enough to make Moltres suffer, but Lugia did.

A shame to have to use a father against his child, but her brother was dead.

Nothing else mattered but revenge.

The pain and anger overwhelmed her. Without any perception of the time in between, she stood face-to-face with Lugia.

(VAPOREON: Lugia!)
(LUGIA: ...I am sorry for your loss.)
(VAPOREON: When has that ever been good enough?)
(LUGIA: ...)
(LUGIA: It needed to be said, regardless, for it is true.)
(VAPOREON: HE'S DEAD.)
(VAPOREON: FOREVER.)
(VAPOREON: GONE.)
(VAPOREON: AND YOU LET IT RUN WILD AND FREE.)
(VAPOREON: HOW MANY MORE WILL IT KILL?)
(VAPOREON: HOW MANY MORE FAMILIES LEFT CHILDLESS?)
(VAPOREON: WHEN WILL YOU STOP IT?!)
(LUGIA: I have contacted Mesprit. I have contacted Azelf.
(LUGIA: We will deal with the issue.)
(LUGIA: I can do nothing to soothe the hole in your heart.)
(LUGIA: You must deal with the loss yourself.)

This was, again, not true.

She could push him harder.

There was more he stood to lose that she could threaten.

There was more he could do to make no one else die like her brother had.

There was more he could do to make Moltres beg to be ALLOWED to die like her brother had.

Threaten his children.

Threaten the world.

Threaten everything you can get your paws on.

He will relent.

He will have to.

(VAPOREON: I will poison every river. I will drown every mortal.)
(VAPOREON: Everything I can touch, I will ruin until you DESTROY Moltres!)

Lugia's eyes sharpened with cold and fearful anger.

(LUGIA: You gain nothing and lose everything by following this path, Suicune.)
(VAPOREON: You refuse to give me what is only fair.)
(LUGIA: There is no fairness to be had for the loss you are going through.)
(VAPOREON: What do I even have left?)
(VAPOREON: A dead sibling, a broken family and enough pain to kill a lesser being.)
(LUGIA: You have your broken family. They need you.)
(VAPOREON: And I need revenge. Or you will feel everything I have.)
(VAPOREON: And I won't PRETEND to be sympathetic.)
(LUGIA: ...so be it.)
(LUGIA: When the hatred that is killing you finishes the job, I will not save you.)
(LUGIA: I will make the arrangements. If you change your mind on the path you have chosen, you will know where to find me.)

The scene shifted again, and she saw them all in one room. Lugia stood with his back to her, tears pouring down. Raikou lay dead, Moltres silent over him.

Then, at once, the vision vanished.

Lugia and Raikou were gone, replaced with flickering visions of Ho-oh and Moltres. In Moltres' place, she herself stood.

 

[val-triplicate]

All around, the other legendaries watched the two come out of their psychic trance. Vaporeon's mind narrowly withstood the toll, but her body buckled and puked water onto the cave floor.

LUGIA: That is but a brief glimpse of what you have put me through.
LUGIA: Do you see? Do you feel?
LUGIA: Does it destroy you fully, as it has destroyed me?
VAPOREON: I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I hurt you so much...
VAPOREON: I want to help... make it better somehow...

Lugia glared through her.

LUGIA: Who are you, wretched beast?
LUGIA: Who are you, who stands before me.
LUGIA: You have seen what Suicune took from me. You watched her take it from you.
LUGIA: Yet you speak of my suffering before your own.
LUGIA: If I had shown this most painful of memories to Suicune, she would have simply laughed.

Would she have? She seemed so broken in the memory Vaporeon saw... but then again, Vaporeon still knew almost nothing of her. Raikou had loved Suicune, that much was clear. Victini considered her a close friend too. Yet, neither had been willing to talk about what she'd been like before. Raikou only implied Suicune had lived a miserable experience.

If immortality had led her down this path, then she didn't need it. If it wasn't worth living as a mortal, it would never be as a god.

VAPOREON: Lugia...
LUGIA: Speak.
VAPOREON: Kill me. Kill her.
VAPOREON: Take my immortality.
VAPOREON: Watch me be a mortal, that will be my proof I've changed.
LUGIA: And if this fails to convince me?
VAPOREON: Then... then I die like that.
VAPOREON: The wicked bitch is dead. Moltres is avenged.
VAPOREON: If I've changed enough, you can let me be a god again.
VAPOREON: You can also just... kill me, whenever you want.
VAPOREON: I'll tell my- my family not to stop you.
LUGIA: You come into my lair to make the most presumptuous demand I have ever heard.
LUGIA: Why should I not just kill you now?
LUGIA: Why should I not kill your siblings in retribution?

Vaporeon stared into his eyes. He was terrifying still, but she'd seen what was haunting him. She knew what he wanted. She couldn't give it to him – no one could. But she could give him what he needed.

VAPOREON: Because it wouldn't help.
VAPOREON: Because... you don't want to.
VAPOREON: You're hurting. You're trying to make me hurt instead.
VAPOREON: I don't care about that. I've fucking earned it.
VAPOREON: But it wouldn't work, and that's what I care about.

Vaporeon let out a breath and drew another in. The pressure made it almost impossible to breathe, and she had to force her body to do it manually. She needed her bracelet so badly, now... but a glance showed it lighting up like it was on fire. He still needed it, and she had this.

VAPOREON: I've hurt people, too, Lugia.
VAPOREON: I've driven everyone I loved away, just like you have.

Articuno scraped her claws into the floor with a whimper, while Zapdos let out a deafening scream of despair. Good. She'd been guessing there, but she'd hit her mark.

VAPOREON: None of that helped even a little.
VAPOREON: What brought me forward was finding friends.
VAPOREON: Letting my family back in my life.
VAPOREON: I even found love, and a future.
VAPOREON: Don't you want that?

Lugia launched a beam of psychic energy directly at Vaporeon. It curved out of the way, then back towards her, then away again. She let out a terrified cry, but kept her eyes locked on him. He was crying now.

The attack, then... whether it was to preserve his pride or he'd just changed his mind didn't matter. She had him where she needed him. She had him where he needed to be, where he wanted to be. She just needed him to admit it.

VAPOREON: You can kill me now, if you want. I won't resist.
VAPOREON: Suicune killed Moltres. I killed Scrafty.
VAPOREON: I know I deserve it, but this isn't about me. It's about you.
VAPOREON: Kill me and you lose your chance to heal from this.
VAPOREON: You'll be miserable forever, just like I almost was.
VAPOREON: Look into my mind, Lugia. See my hope for a better life.
VAPOREON: Let me go, and you can have it too. You can be happy.

She smiled.

VAPOREON: You can be free.

 

[val-triplicate]

Lugia shambled to the cave's exit, a pool of water that lead directly into the ocean rather than the dungeon. He slammed his wings together with a powerful clap, and a cavern wall slid open.

LUGIA: Grant her request, Ho-oh.
LUGIA: I will be in touch.

Defeated and crying, Ho-oh stepped into the room as Lugia left it. She limped over and pulled Vaporeon into a big, quivering hug. Vaporeon looked away, crushed that she had no recognition at all of this grieving mother.

HO-OH: I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry.
HO-OH: I- I couldn't stop you, I couldn't save you... please, forgive me.
VAPOREON: Ho-oh. Let's talk after all this is over.
VAPOREON: It's ok.
HO-OH: ...okay. I-I'll be strong. For you, Suicune...
VAPOREON: For me. Not Suicune.

She sobbed louder.

HO-OH: I- I'll miss you.
HO-OH: I'll miss you now, and I- I'll miss you if you're- if he doesn't-

Vaporeon sat on the spot and considered. It took Ho-oh minutes to stop crying, and even longer to compose herself.

VAPOREON: It's going to be okay.
VAPOREON: We'll take this as it comes.
VAPOREON: I'm not... I'm not who I was anymore.
VAPOREON: I don't know if I'm still Suicune, but I know I'm not her anymore.
VAPOREON: I'm someone new, now. Someone yet to be fully made.
VAPOREON: I- I really need a mommy.
HO-OH: ...of course. My precious d-daughter... I am so sorry.

Vaporeon sat still, ready to be free. Ho-oh looked at her, the sadness unbearable. She took a deep breath, and began to work.

Powerful life magic surged through Vaporeon. She was born an Eevee, and grew to a Vaporeon. She had died in a fire, and had been brought back as the rains that quashed the flames. She had been granted life anew... and now it would be taken back.

The clock of her life ticked forward second by second, then spun back millennia in an instant. Then, the clock shattered.

HO-OH: ...it's done.
HO-OH: Please... I- I need to be alone...

When consciousness returned to Vaporeon, she felt... hollow. Like something deep inside her had died, and it might never come back.

VAPOREON: Mnn. I'm... free.

No more rage. No more insanity. No more conspiracies and traumatized machinations.

Her soul felt... wrong. It felt like it was a fraction of what it had always been, and it made it almost hard to breathe. Yet what was left was hers, now. It was easier to breathe, after a moment's rest. She struggled back to her feet. Her leg was still gone, but that wasn't a punishment anymore. It was who she was.

RAIKOU: C-can we talk, Suicune?
VAPOREON: Sure can, brother.
VAPOREON: For now... it's Vaporeon, please.

She wagged her tail. He cried harder than he already was.

VAPOREON: You came and met me as I am now... and we became siblings by choice, not by blood.
RAIKOU: I love you, Vaporeon...
RAIKOU: I- I know this has been the hardest thing you could have gone through, a-and you still let me be there with you.

She was still terrified of his huge, intimidating body, but the tears made it easier to accept.

RAIKOU: If you'll- if you'll have this ancient, weepy cat as a brother... I'd be honored, for as long as you have left.

She turned to Entei. It winced, overcome with too many emotions to count.

ENTEI: ...I'm sorry I doubted you.
ENTEI: You've given up everything in order to put this to rest.
ENTEI: Vaporeon.
ENTEI: I- I don't know how I feel anymore.
ENTEI: But you've done as you promised.
ENTEI: You saved us. You saved yourself. You even saved Lugia, despite his hatred...
VAPOREON: Yeah... you hurt me really bad. But I still kept trying.
ENTEI: ...you can stop trying, now.

It took a breath.

ENTEI: However, if you don't... I would be glad to make the amends I can.
VAPOREON: I'll be there while you do.
VAPOREON: Sister and sibling.

She stumbled over to hug it, but tripped onto her side, panting. Something inside it seemed to break, and it wrapped her in a warm hug.

RAIKOU: You should... also talk to Mom, before you go.
ENTEI: I know you haven't met her before today.
ENTEI: She's- she's been through more than us, though, so please.
ENTEI: If you have one more in you, it would mean a lot to us.
VAPOREON: Alright... but then I really need to go home.

She stood up again and walked over to the sobbing Ho-oh.

HO-OH: S-suicune...
HO-OH: Sorry... Vaporeon...
VAPOREON: It's okay. It's- it's gonna be okay.
HO-OH: What happens now...?
HO-OH: Are you- are you still her?
HO-OH: Is this... is this an evolution, or have I killed my daughter with my own claws...
VAPOREON: ...I don't know. Kind of, I think.
VAPOREON: But... I'll still be your daughter if it's okay.
HO-OH: Please...

Vaporeon embraced her mother for a long time, but the exhaustion was tightening and her. It was time to go.

VAPOREON: I love you, Mom.
VAPOREON: I love you, bro, and sib.
VAPOREON: I'll- I'll be in touch, I promise.
VAPOREON: I just need a lot of time to recover.
VAPOREON: I have somewhere I need to be.

As Vaporeon was teleported out, she gave her family the most comforting smile she could. As she arrived on the docks, the smile met the town's only remaining resident. Evacuation signs warning of a potential tsunami had cleared all the others off, but there was one who hadn't followed Entei's plea.

VAPOREON: MAWILE!

Vaporeon jumped up and rushed into the arms of her girlfriend. Mawile hugged back tightly, terror and confusion abandoned for relief.

VAPOREON: I'm... I'm so tired... let's go sleep...
MAWILE: You m'de it... of course, h'ney. R'ght this way.

She led her girlfriend carefully through the streets. Dissatisfied with the progress and worried about her health, Mawile stopped. She grabbed Vaporeon's torso and heaved upwards.

VAPOREON: H-hey... have I really gotten that light?
MAWILE: Urff.

She grunted and carried her swiftly, bridal-style.

MAWILE: I can pr'mise you, V'poreon.
MAWILE: You h've not.
VAPOREON: Oh. You uh... got all the metal I sent you from the volcano?

Vaporeon blushed and changed the subject. Mawile preened with pride, metal snapping from behind her.

MAWILE: I d'd. I've already started w'rking on the leg.
MAWILE: S'me of my b'st work yet.
VAPOREON: Thank you... I think I'm ready to walk on four legs again.
MAWILE: I'll be w'th you the whole way. If you'll h've me.
VAPOREON: Always. I just hope we can make this work...
VAPOREON: The truth of my power, and what happened in the cave...

She stopped abruptly, and struggled to shift weight around. Vaporeon was now facing directly at her, and Mawile used the opportunity to give her a kiss.

MAWILE: Sh'sh.
MAWILE: St'ries t'morrow.
MAWILE: You n'd some damn r'st.

She kept walking, letting Vaporeon stare into the unmoving front mouth, and the eyes full of love. The door to the shop slammed open, then slammed behind them. Same with the door to Mawile's room.

VAPOREON: Heheh... my handsome princess has carried me across the threshold...
MAWILE: I'll carry you fr'm that cave to the sky if I h've to.
MAWILE: Not now th'gh. I th'nk we both need to sl'p.

She placed Vaporeon gently down, and gave her a kiss with each mouth. Vaporeon kissed back before splaying out on the bed.

MAWILE: Sl'p, hon.
MAWILE: T'morrow, we t'ke on the w'rld.

- - - THE END - - -​

 

[val-triplicate]

Art by Cactus-Genome!​