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Pokémon The Prince Who Travelled Through Time

Summary, Author's Notes and Story Art Cover


Bug Catcher
Sandgem Town
  1. cinderace
Cover Art With Text.pngHello everyone, I am so proud to share my story titled "The Prince Who Travelled Through Time." This story is a Trainshipping AU Romance/Adventure fanfic story, which briefly takes place years before the war in Kalos broke out and the rest in present day Galar (and possibly other regions!). I owe this story's existence to an Advancedshipping romance fanfic story that I've read on FF.net which gave me a tremendous amount of inspiration to write this fanfic story of mine, a story titled "Time Travelling Princess" by LadyArcanine. If you haven't read this story yet, I highly suggest you do, especially if you're a big fan of Advancedshipping like me!

As part of my new year's resolution, I will focus my efforts on finishing this story also as a promise to myself. I can try to upload bi-weekly updates with 2 chapters per upload, but that is not guaranteed as I have to work too! Regardless, I hope you enjoy reading the story just as I enjoyed writing it. Also, feel free to leave a review! (No troll reviews or hate reviews, please.)


Prince Victor was transported 3000 years into the future after he rescued an injured Celebi from a group of poachers. Soon, he wakes up and meets Hop, an apprentice Pokemon Professor and his student, Penny. With their help, Victor will learn how to blend in and live life in the modern world, while taking care of Celebi and being mentally torn by contrasting wishes: his desire to return home and his budding romantic feelings for the young professor. Trainshipping AU.
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Table of Contents


Bug Catcher
Sandgem Town
  1. cinderace
Table of Contents:

Prologue: The Time Pokemon.

Chapter 1: Brand New World, Brand New Friends.

Chapter 2: No Home, No Problem. (In Progress)

Chapter 3: What a Wonderful World. (In Progress)

Chapter 4: Baby Steps. (In Progress)

Chapter 5: Penny. (In Progress)

Chapter 6: Pokemon - I choose you! (In Progress)

Chapters 7: Poke Fatherhood. (In Progress)

Chapter 8: Sonia and the Prince. (In Progress)

Chapters 9 and beyond. (In Progress)
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Chapter 1: The Time Pokemon.


Bug Catcher
Sandgem Town
  1. cinderace
Special thanks to Cresselia92, Cherry_BombBees and Spiteful Murkrow for beta reading this chapter.

In times long past, the world differed greatly from today. Humans and Pokémon lived on their own, and the harmony between them were rare compared to modern times. There were castles and empires, and Pokémon were known as wild monsters. Also, the treatment of said wild monsters was different across empires. Most of them feared the creatures and built majestic, strong castles, while some of them showed contempt and treated them like beasts of burden, and very few of them accepted them as allies and friends.

In those days, its abundant, diverse lands united one. To outsiders, it was The Great Atlantic Empire, but to those within it, it was The Empire of Galar, which was ruled by a royal family who descended from the founders of the empire. King Barry, the Duke of Ludester, and Queen Marley, the Duchess of Greenbury, ruled the land through compassion, kindness, and a keen sense of justice, along with their only son, Prince Victor the 1st, from their castle nestled in the mountains of Galar for as long as anyone could remember.

Despite rumors about the mistreatment of its subjects, the royal family was fair and just throughout their dealings, and often these rumors were spread by rival clans who wanted to see their empire crumble. With the empire's economy thriving in its third Golden Era, many of the settlements within its borders flourished, whether it be small or big. They produced goods that would be the subject of friendly competition and trade deals with other empires from other parts of the world.

One early morning, in the throne room of the castle, King Barry paced back and forth while Queen Marley tried to comfort him. "My dear, surely our son will be fine. He trained and fought alongside our valiant soldiers; do you not remember?"

"He may have been trained by the best warriors that our empire has to offer, but nay, he has never fought a bigger group of beastly barbarians, let alone one!" the king exclaimed as he sat back down on his throne, reaching for a chalice of wine. "The captain has sent reinforcements to the settlement that those barbarians have raided. I pray to Arceus that it is not too late. I admire his loyalty and sense of justice for our people, but I dread the thought of losing him."

Queen Marley walked up to him, interlacing her hand with his as a sign of comfort. "And that is why you should be proud of him. I understand you are worried for him, but our brave son will prevail, just as he had in his previous battles."

"I suppose you are correct, but-"

He was interrupted as his Queen placed a finger on his lips. "Shush, my dear husband. Have faith in him. I, too, am worried about his safety. Yet, I am hoping he will return to us with the full pride of Galar."

Finally, a small smile formed on his lips. "My dear, I apologize for worrying too much. You are correct, he will return to us unharmed."

A soft knock on the door sounded before it creaked open, revealing their assistant in waiting on the other side with Yamper in tow as she hastily walked up to the King and Queen's throne. The assistant bowed before them and announced, "My king, my queen, I have urgent news from the captain himself!"

King Barry gulped down the lump in his throat and steeled himself, as he stood up and approached his assistant. "What does the captain have to report?"

"It is Prince Victor! He and the army that he led routed the barbarians away from the newly formed settlement! He is approaching the castle as we speak, my lord."

King Barry breathed out an air of relief and wiped off the sweat from his forehead, while Queen Marley sported a proud smile, for she never doubted their beloved son once.

"Tell Prince Victor to return to the throne room as soon as possible," King Barry ordered. "I wish to speak to him in private."

"As you wish, my king." The assistant said, and bowed once again, before taking her leave to deliver his orders to his son.

Outside the castle, soldiers and citizens of the empire cheered as their Prince returned from the battle with yet another victory he claimed for his King and country. A sense of jubilation filled the air. The battered but proud army marched behind him, their tattered clothes signifying their courage in battle. The bards played music to celebrate the occasion as the servants blew their trumpets. Wheat and oat seeds were thrown by some who were watching from the windows of their homes, and a few even threw coins in the air for the marching army.

"Joyous victory to you, Prince Victor!" a citizen shouted from the enormous crowd.

"Our hero has returned! He has driven the barbarians away from our lands!" another shouted.

Victor smiled and waved at his subjects from the back of his shiny Galarian Rapidash. Victor, despite his status as a Prince, had ditched the Royal Armor and settled to wear the standard warrior's armor that his soldiers wore as a symbol of unity.

"Prince Victor, The Hero of Galar!" the people chanted as they gathered around, reaching out to shake his hand or at least get the faintest touch of their beloved prince. His Rapidash did its best to not stomp on a civilian as Victor tried his best to grab hold of her reins.

Victor chuckled as a light blush formed on his cheeks. "Oh dear, one at a time, please!" He laughed to hide his rising embarrassment as he did his best to shake all those hands held out to him.

As they approached the gates of the castle, Victor noticed his father's assistant hastily walking toward him. He smiled as he expected good news from her. He shook one last hand before the assistant approached him. Flashing her a toothy smile, he said, "Ah, Valerie! It is good to see you!"

"My lord, I have a message from the King! He requests your presence in the throne room - alone." Valerie said as she adjusted his cowlick hair.

Though, despite the urgency in her words, he simply patted Valerie on her shoulder. "I am sure that my father wants to congratulate me for routing those filthy barbarians. But tell him that there is no need for congratulations, for I fought them in his name and the country's, as well as our people."

"But my prince, I cannot disobey your father's words. He ordered me to request your presence in the throne room at once as soon as you returned to the castle."

Victor stopped for a moment. After considering her words, he sighed with a smile. "Alright, I shall head to the throne room at once. Please, take care of Caroline for me. She is most likely tired."

"As you wish, my prince. I shall take Caroline back to her stable at once." With that said, Valerie took the reins from him and escorted his Galarian Rapidash back to her stable.

Victor entered the castle. On his way, the soldiers saluted with respect — a gesture that Victor reciprocated.

As soon as he reached the throne room, he kneeled on one knee and bowed his head in reverence for his parents, asking, "You have requested my presence, father?"

"My dear son, stand up," the king said, underlining his words with a gesture for Victor to rise. "There is no need for you to kneel. You should know that by now."

"I apologize, father." Victor stood up and walked up to the throne to give a kiss on his father's ring and a loving embrace to his mother. "I have great news to deliver. We have routed the Barbarians that attacked the settlement. I led the charge against them, and we fought valiantly. The Settlement of Paddoxton is safe. I gave the order to the reinforcements you have dispatched to stay there and secure their surroundings."

"Victor, my son, why did you go out on your own without consulting with the captain?"

Victor sighed as he steeled his nerves. Of course, even in victory, there was reason to berate him. "Father, I am grateful for your concern towards me. But I simply cannot sit by and wait for formalities while the barbarians invade and ransack settlements as they please."

King Barry stood up. He placed an arm on Victor's shoulder and held a tight grip on it. "My son, I admire your courage. Yet, you cannot let that blind you. I kept these formalities in place to make sure that everyone remains informed. If you had been cornered, Arceus knows what could happen to you."

Victor lowered his head and sighed again. "I know, father. But my duty for King and Country, and our people, come first."

"I am aware, my son. Please, do not misunderstand me. Yes, I am disappointed that you have resorted to neglecting these precautions. But I am also proud of you. Not only did you lead an army of your own, but you defeated the barbarians and forced them to retreat. That is a feat few could do."

The queen rose to her feet as well, putting her hand on the prince's other shoulder. "I am so proud of you, my son. I never doubted you once."

Victor raised his head, looked into his father's eyes, and gave him a smile. "Thank you, father, and mother, for believing in me." He then pulled them into a warm hug. After a few more seconds, he broke away though, realizing that he was still wearing his armor.

The queen, puzzled at first, soon understood her son's thoughts. Laughing, she said, "Get yourself bathed and dressed. We shall hold a feast tonight to celebrate your triumphant battle. I shall order the cooks to prepare your favorite dessert."

Victor couldn't help but beam at that promise. Despite being nineteen years of age, his inner child refused to fade away. "That is fantastic, mother! I cannot wait to eat and be merry!"

They knew it wasn't befitting for a young man of his rank and age, yet his parents couldn't keep themselves from smiling. Even a brief chuckle escaped them. "Never change, my boy. Now, go to your quarters and get yourself bathed and dressed for tonight's feast."

"Yes, mother. I shall see you tonight at the dining hall." Victor said before leaving, his smile a wide grin by now.

Once the sun had set and the moon had taken its place, Victor bathed and dressed himself in a white suit with a red cape draped over his back. All of that was rounded off with a set of white gloves accented by golden linen and his family's medallion around his collar.

"You look wonderful, Prince Victor." Valerie complimented him as she brushed the back of his hair one last time.

"Thank you, Valerie." Victor said while looking at his reflection in the mirror. "Something tells me this is going to be a great evening."

"I truly believe so, my lord," Valerie added. "I have instructed the chefs to bake you your favorite cake as requested by your father."

Victor smiled and flashed a toothy grin. "I am SO excited to eat Chocolate Yeast Cake again! It has been twenty-five moons since I last ate one."

"Then let us not keep them waiting. Your father has invited a lot of important guests for tonight's banquet."

"You're right, Valerie. We shall go at once."

With that, Valerie escorted Victor to the dining hall. As he walked through the corridors of the castle, though, the cheery feelings of a moment ago soon faded. It was as if something bad lurked in the shadows. Yet as much as he kept his eyes wandering, there was nothing he could see. Not wanting to ruin the mood with such thoughts, he steeled himself and pushed back the anxiety into the depths of his mind.

Still, Valerie has so often had a sharp eye for the little things about him. With concern in her voice, she asked, "Are you alright, my prince?"

"Y-yes. I am okay, Valerie." he said, trying to assure her.

Valerie didn't seem too convinced, but nodded and opened the doors to the dining hall. Bowing her head as she stood to the side, she said, "Enjoy the rest of the evening, my prince."

The dining hall was decorated with colorful stained-glass windows depicting the founding and history of The Empire of Galar. Tall pillars overshadowed the marble floors of the dining hall and chandeliers kept alive by wild Litwicks that adorned the majestic chandeliers. In the middle, they had set the dining tables up for the guests, with the one for the royal family at the far end of the room. Exquisitely decorated with ornate gems, accompanied by three chairs that were no less ordained as the royal thrones themselves.

The moment Victor entered the dining hall, the guests rose to their feet. Under their applause, he made his way through them. He blushed, knowing that most of the surrounding tales about his heroic deeds had gotten overblown until they had become heroic epics shared among the people, though he couldn't help but revel in the attention that he was receiving.

Once he was only a few steps away from his seat, a man dressed in white robes approached him. He had a scarf around his neck, and he adorned a medallion ring. A bandana tied around his head kept his overflowing dark hair in check yet still couldn't prevent it from covering his right eye. With a smile, he extended his right hand to him. "Good evening, Prince Victor. I am AZ, the King of Kalos."

The prince smiled and shook the man's hand. "It is good to meet you, King AZ. Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Merrily. Your father spoke highly of you, and I say, you are a brave prince." he complimented.

Victor couldn't help but notice that there was a floating creature who held a red flower. It has a white body and its eyebrows and tail have a shade of green to them. "Oh wow, I have never seen this wild monster before."

"Pardon me, Prince, but her name is Floette. She is my good friend," he explained as he patted Floette's flower. "Say hello, Floette. This is Prince Victor, heir to the throne of Galar."

"Flo!" Floette exclaimed as it circled victor in a joyous dance-like state.

"Wow, she looks pretty," Victor remarked.

"She is remarkable. With how she acted towards you, I can tell for sure that she likes you."

"Hehe, hey there, Floette. It's nice to meet you!" he greeted and held out his finger for her to hold.

"Flo!" Floette tapped his finger before it returned to AZ's side.

"Thank you for taking the time to hear what I have to say. Let us talk later, once the banquet is over. I would like to know more about your exploits."

Victor nodded and shook his hand once again before he departed for his dining table. "I shall meet you later, King AZ." He said as he waved at him before turning his attention to his parents.

"Good evening, my son." King Barry greeted him with a smile.

"Good evening, father. Mother." Victor greeted them back as he took his seat in the middle throne-esque chair. He stared at the table; his jaw dropped at the amount of food that was laid down before them. But what caught his attention was the Chocolate Yeast Cake. He grabbed his knife and fork and aimed his sights at the cake, but his mother gently slapped his hand and waved her finger.

"Patience, young man. You must eat your fill first before you can have any cake for tonight," she warned sternly.

Victor nervously chuckled. "Y-yes, mother."

After a brief speech delivered by King Barry, the banquet officially began. They filled the night with joyful laughter and merry eating, as all guests, including Victor, indulged in the food offered to them. Victor mingled with other kings, queens, and even emperors who came from faraway lands, often receiving praise for his overblown heroic deeds. As much as he wanted to tell them the simple version, he doubted they would listen. So, he just let them believe in what they wanted to think.

They showered Victor with a wondrous number of gifts, as a sign of friendship between their respective empires. He can't help but blush at the affection that he was receiving from all the leaders of various regions.

The evening was going smoothly until a beautiful princess entered the fray. All eyes were on her, as the princess's stunning beauty caught their attention. Victor thought she was a guest that was late, but soon he would realize that there was more to her than meets the eye.

"Who is she, mother?" Victor inquired as he finished taking the last bite of his yeast cake.

"You will find out in a minute, dear." She replied.

Not long after, the princess approached the royal family's dining table and gave them their respective greetings. Then she turned her attention to Victor.

"Greetings, Prince Victor. I am Princess Valeria." She introduced herself.

"Good evening, your highness." He bowed. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Princess Valeria." Victor couldn't help but feel that there was something wrong with the atmosphere as soon as she appeared in his field of vision. Little did he know his suspicions were correct.

"Mother, who is she a Princess of?" Victor inquired.

"She is the Princess of Latermore." Queen Marley replied as she placed her right hand on his left shoulder. "She is your bride."

Victor was taken aback. Sure, he had attended weddings before, but to be wed to a lady he hadn't even met before? It is something that he cannot accept.

"Mother, surely what you have just said is merely a joke, right?" Victor asked as he nervously chuckled.

Queen Marley looked at Victor with concern. "Why, whatever do you mean, dear?" She asked. "They handpicked Princess Valeria to be your bride long before you two were even five years old."

"N-no…" is all that he could say. He took a step back as tears formed in his eyes.

King Barry stood up from his chair and approached Victor. "My son, I know it is too soon, but the papers have been signed. I destined you and Valeria for each other. Fate has brought you together for this reason." He explained, trying to calm Victor down. Instead, it did the opposite.

"N-no… I-I… I refuse…" he whispered.

"What was it you were saying, Victor?" The princess asked as she tried to interlock her fingers with his. Victor simply recoiled his hand away from her and took a step back as tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

"I refuse!" He shouted, attracting the attention of the guests. "I refuse to marry you! I will not allow it!"

"Victor, please. Try to understand. This is for your own good." Queen Marley pleaded.

"My son, you are the heir to the throne of Galar. It is only natural that you must be married to a princess such as her." King Barry said as he tried reasoning with him.

And yet, their words were ignored.

"You do not understand. I do not want to get married! Not now, and never will!" He exclaimed as he turned his back on them. "I was in love once… but that person… That person is long gone. I cannot love this woman!"

"Victor…" Queen Marley approached him and tried to embrace him, only to be met with resistance.

"I-I am going to bed…" He uttered before storming out of the dining hall, leaving both his parents and the guests stunned at the events that had just transpired.

"I… I apologize for causing a scene." Princess Valeria apologized.

"There is no need for apologies, Your Highness." Queen Marley said. "He is just in shock. He will come to his senses soon enough."

Victor locked himself up in his room after leaving the dining hall and refused to answer the calls of his parents and his assistant. The pain that he felt from the idea of being made to go through a forced wedding was too much for him to bear. He spent the entire night quietly sobbing.

How could they do this to me?!
All my life, I devoted every fiber of my being to my people, and for King and Country… and now they want me to be wed to a lady whom I have never met! How could they…?

As Victor realized that there was no chance of changing his parents' decision, he thought long and hard about running away. But that would mean giving up everything he grew up with as a prince. The friends he made, the people he served, the comrades that he fought alongside, and the parents that he loved.

But it was that or living a life dominated by false love.

He chose the former.

Before he knew it, Victor had packed up whatever he could carry with him and quietly snuck out of his room and the castle to Caroline's stable. Aside from the essentials, such as bandages and a potion, he brought with him a set of smoke bombs that he had crafted after a weaponsmith from Johto shared the recipe with him, as well as his bow and a few arrows to boot. His Rapidash woke up from his footsteps, and then approached him and nuzzled her snout against his cheeks.

"Hehe, it's good to see you too, Caroline." He whispered. "Listen, we need to go somewhere safe, and I cannot leave without you. I will not force you to come with me if you wish to stay here, but if you could just help me…" Victor explained, caressing Caroline's mane at the same time.

He expected her to turn away from him and return to her barn, but he was surprised as she licked his face. Something he knew from the past to be a sign of agreement.

"Thank you, Caroline…" He rested his forehead against hers for a few seconds, before he mounted her as his Rapidash trotted out of the barn. As they exited the Castle's gates, he stopped for a moment and took one last look at the place that he grew up in, the place he called home. A home that he could not bear to stay in as long as he was forced to be wed in false love.

"Mother, father…" he whispered. "... I am sorry. Forgive me."

And then Victor rode off into the night with Caroline and never looked back.

A few hours had passed, and Victor had yet to find a safe place where he could take refuge. The further he traversed into the woods, the more he and his Rapidash got lost. He gestured to Caroline to stop and rest for a while until the sun rose in the sky and dismounted her.

"Easy, girl," Victor said, trying to calm down his Rapidash. "I will stay next to you." Victor gathered whatever wood he could find in the large forest that he was in, with Caroline in tow. One by one, he gathered both small and large pieces of wood and piled them up neatly in a small clearing of the forest.

He stooped down to start a fire when he heard noises in the forest. They weren't just any ordinary noises—they distinctly sounded like ones made by humans. To make matters worse, those noises were close by. He could see the light of their torches from where he was stationed. He then gestured to Caroline to lie low behind the bushes and stay still until the danger had passed.

"Have you found the wild monster?" the first voice asked.

"It is here somewhere. The monster is injured, so it cannot have gone far away from us." the second voice replied. "We have to keep looking, or else our paymaster will have our heads."

A third, gruff voice intervened. "We should split up to cover as much area as possible. That monster is extremely valuable. We cannot lose an opportunity to strike it rich like this."

Then a fourth voice, who Victor assumed to be their boss, chimed in. "Do not forget your place, as I am in charge here. You two head over to that cave while Kenneth and I shall search the forest for this wild monster. Do not return to me empty-handed. Understood?"

"Yes, my lord!" All three shouted in unison, and they all went on their separate paths. Whatever creature they were hunting, Victor hoped it was unharmed. Realizing that these four intruders were in the king's woods, seemingly up to no good, Victor gestured to Caroline to stay low so they could sneak out of the forest undetected.

"Be careful, Caroline." He whispered. "We do not want to alarm them." His Rapidash nodded and followed his lead. Slowly and carefully, they quietly snuck out of the clearing. They were almost out of the forest when Victor heard yet another noise. This time, it was different. It made a sound similar to that of a wild fairy-like creature that he once encountered in the wild. Could it be…?

"Did you hear that, Caroline?" He whispered to her. Caroline nodded and aimed her snout at the boulder, gesturing to her master that the source of the faint noise came from there.

"Stay here, Caroline. Watch my back. I will investigate the noise." Victor ordered.

Victor slowly approached the boulder, unsheathing his dagger from his belt. His hand shook a little but had done his best to keep it steady, for this moment meant life or death. As he approached the boulder, he peeked around to see where the noise was coming from. He looked down, expecting to see an injured human... only to come across a wholly unexpected creature.


From what Victor could gather, it had round toeless feet, three-fingered hands, and clear wings on its back with a shade of pink as its body. Whatever this creature was, it had a round head that came to a curved point with large baby-green eyes paired with thick black rings around them, and a pair of pink antennae with green tips at the end. It appeared to be helpless, so he sheathed his dagger and slowly approached the creature.

"Brrriii…" it cried out again as it heaved its chest.

"Hello there. Are you okay…?" Victor asked the mysterious creature. He placed the back of his hand on its forehead and frowned. "You are extremely warm. You do not look so good."

The creature looked up at him with weary and tired eyes and then promptly tried to get away from him. Not even a second had passed, and it fell back down face-first on the ground.


"I do not wish to bring you harm," Victor reassured the small creature, and carefully scooped it up with his left hand. He brought it close to his chest and looked down at her with a small smile.

"Brrriii… Brrriii…"

"Shhh, everything will be okay."

The creature looked up at Victor, and a small smile formed on its lips. It looked like the creature understood Victor's words, as it no longer struggled to flee from him. "Brrriiiii…"

He turned around to look at Caroline and gestured for her to follow him. However, before they could escape from the scene, two of the people he hid from showed up from behind and spotted him.

"Hey, you!" The first voice called out. "Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

Victor froze. He cursed himself internally for not getting themselves out of this mess sooner than later.

"Yeah, what is the matter, strange man?" The second voice sneered. "Are you lost?"

Victor refused to turn around and simply said, "No, I am just a weary traveler. I will be out of your way now." He hoped it was enough to sway them away from him. Unfortunately, the creature squirmed in his arms as it tried to snuggle his suit for comfort.


"Shhh!" Victor tried to hush it, but it was too late. Both of their eyes widened as they unsheathed their daggers and slowly approached him.

"What are you holding there, young man?" the first man asked.

"... Just a creature of mine. He was injured in the woods earlier by a wild creature." Victor lied.

"Let me guess, it is a small, pink 'creature' with an onion head and fairy wings, is it not?"

"Yeah. It looks to me like you have found our quarry." the second voice sneered. "Give it to us, and we will see to it that you will be unharmed."

Victor sighed. He did not want this to happen, but they left him with no choice. Quickly, he took out a smoke bomb and threw it at them.

"Why, you little runt!"

Victor quickly mounted his Rapidash. "Caroline, quick! Get us out of here!"

"Rapidash!" She whinnied and galloped out of the forest, putting as much distance as it could away from the mercenaries. The shrieks and caws of flying creatures quickly dashed his hopes of a clean getaway, as he looked back to see two winged shapes ganging up on him from above as they grew closer and closer.

"Faster, Caroline! Hiyaa!" Victor shouted, causing Caroline to gallop even faster against her natural limits.

"Hang on, little one! I will get you out of here!" Victor assured the little creature. Although he could not understand what the creature was saying, he was aware that those men were hunting the creature and whatever they had planned for it was anything but good. As soon as they could put as much distance away from their pursuers, the flying creatures circled them from above the trees, alerting their masters to where he and Caroline were.

"Did I not tell you incompetents to inform me should you find our little bag of gold?" The leader sneered at his accomplices. "Of all the…. Ah, whatever! That creature is here, and it is not alone! Let us find the little devil and capture it, fast!"

With the group still hot on their heels, Victor dismounted from Caroline and unsheathed his bow. "Caroline, do you see the clearing over there behind you?" he whispered. "Wait for me there. I shall sneak through the tall bushes and reunite with you." Caroline nodded and walked away to the direction of the clearing.

As the four men searched around the forest for him and the small little creature, he quickly hid behind the tall bushes, with his bow at the ready, while the small creature was nestled safely in his satchel. He only brought with him a few arrows and he cursed himself for it. But that could wait. Right then and there, his main focus was merely to survive the next few minutes. He tried his best to sneak up to the other end of the forest, where Caroline was waiting for him. Until he heard a set of footsteps getting closer to where he was.

"Come out, young man! I promise, we will not hurt you!" the grunt shouted. As he stood still to check the tall bush next to him, Victor took the chance, as he aimed and fired an arrow at him. It missed its intended target, and instead, the arrow pierced his right shoulder's armor as the man fell to the ground, shouting and writhing in pain.

"Begone!" He shouted as he fired another arrow at the second grunt, which just missed the mercenary's head. Victor took this chance to make a run for Caroline, but they ambushed him as the third grunt tried to slash him with his dagger. Victor dodged the attack and aimed his bow and arrow at him. He was about to shoot him when his partner grabbed him from behind, locking their arms against his chest.

"Let me go!" He demanded.

The grunt scoffed at his demand. "You shall pay for shooting my friend with an arrow. I will make sure you die a painful death." As the man approached Victor with the knife at the ready, Victor raised both his legs, kicked off the man down to the ground, and landed a devastating headbutt against his captor's forehead, forcing the grunt to let him go. Getting up quickly, he readied his bow and arrow, realizing that he was cornered by all of the three men.

"Stay back!" He warned them. "I am not afraid to use this!" The grunts sported menacing looks as all three of them cracked their knuckles, then the third grunt lunged at him, pinning him down to the ground. Caroline tried to intervene by bucking the first grunt up in the air and was aiming for the second one until the third grunt held Victor hostage by the neck with his dagger.

"Cease your attacks, beast. Or your master dies. Slowly and painfully." She threatened, which was enough to get Caroline to stand down.

"You foul criminals! Unhand me this instant!" Victor shouted. He tried to wiggle his way out of the captor's arms by attempting to headbutt their head, which proved to be useless as his paltry attempt earned him a punch to the stomach. His captor then pressed the tip of their dagger back at his throat, stopping his attempts at escaping.

"You little runt. Be grateful that we are not after you. We only want the creature, nothing more. Now be a good little boy and stay still." The leader of the band was about to rummage through his satchel when he noticed the medallion that Victor wore around his neck.

"Wait for a second… you're Prince Victor the First." He said, a creepy smile forming on his lips. "It looks like our fortunes have been doubled, boys. It is not every day that a literal king's ransom just walks up to us. We shall kidnap him, along with the creature, and make demands for his release."

"You fiend! As if my father would ever submit to your demands!"

He gave Victor a smarmy expression, taunting him.

"King Barry, leaving his own heir in captivity? Clearly, I know your father better than you do, whelp," he scoffed. "By the end of the day, we will have plundered half of the empire's wealth for your safety, along with our payment for the capture of the creature that you stole from us. Where is the creature? Where did you hide it?" His eyes wandered down towards the satchel and noticed that there was something moving inside it.

"Speak for yourself, you bandit!" He retorted as he felt the tip of the dagger touching the bare skin of his neck.

"Not so tough now, are you, your highness?" The leader mocked as he rummaged through his satchel and promptly pulled the small pink creature away.


"There you go, my little gold maker." He taunted the creature as it tried to scamper away. "We have what we came for, boys, and we found ourselves a delightful bonus along the way. Let us depart with our new treasures. Take the steed as well, for it is our new trophy."

"No! Do not dare to even lay a finger on her, you beast!" Victor screamed at the top of his lungs.

The group that surrounded him and the tip of the dagger pressed against his neck reminded him that he was cornered, as he felt helpless to do anything. He accepted his fate and was about to give up when suddenly, the small pink creature gathered energy that surrounded its body, its eyes glowing as more and more sparks formed above them. Soon enough, a hole appeared in the sky as the cackling thunder and strong winds hampered their movement.

"Cele… brriii!" The creature pulsated a bright color as it cast a storm portal above them. The poachers screamed in terror as the storm raged on above them, the winds sped up, and the thunder roared.

"What is going on?!" the third grunt asked through his gritted teeth.

"I do not know, but we have to get out of here!" The leader ordered, but soon was swept up by the strong winds up in the sky.

"My lord!" The three grunts exclaimed as they scattered to rescue their leader, letting go of Victor. Ultimately, they too were swept up by the winds of the storm. Victor tried to hold on to a tree to save himself from the same fate that befell his captors, but his grip slowly weakened until it reached the point where he could not hold on any longer.

He closed his eyes as he saw his life flash before him. From the day he was born, to the moment his parents crowned him as the first prince of galar and his memorable tenth birthday when his parents gifted him the medallion that he wore proudly since then. He smiled, cherishing the last moments of the memories that flashed before him until he finally let go of the tree and allowed himself to be swallowed up by the storm.

Mother…. Father… I am so sorry. I love you.

Victor shivered as he fell through the skies endlessly in the infinite depths of space. Voices echoed within its surroundings. He saw a roaring bird of metal flying across the skies, a carriage that moved on its own without the aid of a Rapidash, and a brown creature with a V-shaped head and long scythes, slashing at another creature with blue tentacles and a hard shell.

Falling further down the depths, he bore witness to two gigantic creatures that fought against each other as lava and rain fell throughout the skies. The giant creature, whose body was tinted in red and had four claws on each hand, slammed its claws against another massive creature who bore an aqua-marine shade of blue, and sported pectoral fins with red markings around its body.

Quickly, the scene changed to a temple nestled in a mountainous area where the skies darkened with shades of violet and pink, as he witnessed a younger man stepping forward towards a towering dark-blue creature that had some gray metallic portions and light blue stripes with a chest plate that sported a gem within it. The gem shone brightly, and the light expanded and covered the creature as the man threw a strange object against the ever-growing light, which blew the upper half of the temple into pieces.

Moments later, the space that surrounded him had changed yet again. His eyes widened and his body trembled as he saw a set of massive burning rocks hurtling in all directions around him. The rocks collided against the various planets in space, all of them burned into cinders. Tears threatened to escape his eyes as he screamed in horror at what he had just witnessed.

Then, in the distance, a bright light glimmered, and a creature appeared from within it. From what he could gather, it was a massive white equine monster, with a gray, vertically striated underside. The striated pattern had similar recurrences on the underside of its mane, tail, and face. It also has a golden cross-like wheel attached to its body by its round abdomen. The creature got closer and its bright, ominous red pupils stared back at his brown ones. He felt a lump forming in his throat and his hands shook. He wanted to speak, but could not do so.

The creature reared, and it let out a terrifying roar.


Then, he felt an inordinate amount of force that sent him falling back through the endless depths of space that he was in moments ago. His vision blurred by the ever-changing scenery. The more he fell, the stranger his surroundings got and the more his eyelids grew heavier.

As Victor did his best to keep himself conscious, he spotted the wild monster that he had tried to rescue from the men that wanted to kidnap it. He reached out for it as it got closer and closer to where he was. Reaching out for the wild monster, his hand grabbed its body carefully and dragged it in, clutching it on his chest to protect it from anything that could harm it. As he looked down at the creature, he checked to see if it was still alive. He placed the back of his hand on its chest.

It was still breathing. Unconscious, but breathing. Soon enough, his eyelids became too heavy for him to fend off as he shielded the monster with his arms before he slipped into unconsciousness.

Hop was on a survey mission in one of Galar's wild areas. Sporting his casual clothes with a professor's lab coat to boot, he was observing the behavior of the local Magikarps that had recently moved in from a different wild area.

Alongside him was his apprentice, and exchange student, Penny. Hailing from Paldea, Penny had been enrolled in the exchange student program endorsed by her university, the Naranja Academy.

Currently, Penny was fiddling with one of Hop's pieces of equipment to see if there was something wrong with it, as it was her main forte. She couldn't care less about the study of Pokémon as her parents enrolled her in the exchange program without her having a say in the matter. Especially not when she was presently passing the exchange student program just fine by keeping his equipment in top shape.

The young lady smiled as she figured out what was wrong with his scanner: a piece of wire inside the scanner wasn't attached to the primary power unit. She fiddled with it until she could attach the wire correctly to the power unit. "Professor Hop! I fixed your scanner!" She exclaimed. Hop closed his notebook as he checked the broken scanner. Just as she promised, it was now working as if it was brand new.

"That's ace, Penny! Thanks a bunch!" He congratulated Penny, and he aimed the scanner at the lake full of Magikarps. "That'll help us speed up our field research, and just in time to make ourselves a scrummy meal, don't you agree?"

"Yeah. I, uh, admit I am quite hungry at the moment. Should I set up the pot, Professor?" She asked as she stood up and dusted off the stray grass from her skirt. "And what about the ingredients?"

Hop flashed her a toothy grin and chuckled. "No need to be nervous with me, Penny. I don't bite, mate! And yes, please set up the pot so we can prepare the ingredients once I'm done scanning the lake area."

"You got it, Professor!" Penny saluted as she approached the pickup truck to carry the pot back down to their little research spot. Hop took photos of the Magikarps jumping out of the lake as his scanner monitored their movements and behavior. With the scanner beeping, Hop checked the details of the data and jotted down the details on his notepad.

"Alright, I'm almost done here, Penny. You just stay put so I can help you with the-" he was interrupted when his scanner beeped frantically and picked up a strong energy signal close to their location. A gray 'portal-like' storm loomed over the horizon. The wind howled as the thunder cackled. "Blimey, what's going on?!"

"What is it, Professor? Is there something wrong with the scanner?" Penny asked, as Hop wondered if his scanner was broken. He frantically showed Penny the scanner's readings.

"No, that's not it… the scanner. It's picking up a huge energy signal, and it's close!" Hop explained, and not long after, a small portal spawned further away from their location. "That's it! That's the energy signal! Quick, get in the truck, Penny! We're going after this storm!" He exclaimed as he dashed back to the pickup truck.

"B-but what about our equipment?!" Penny asked, confused as to why her mentor was acting weird suddenly.

"Leave it! We can always come back for it!" Hop ordered. Penny ran for the truck and got in the passenger seat and buckled up. As Hop floored the accelerator, the storm was slowly dissipating from the sky. Eyes widened; Hop gave the scanner to her. "Penny, keep track of the energy signal! If we lose it, we'll also lose our opportunity to study this strange phenomenon!"

"Copy, Professor!" Penny exclaimed as she held on for dear life due to Hop's reckless driving. Swerving left and right to avoid hitting any wild Pokemon, the truck slowed down once they got closer to the dissipating portal. Hop and Penny looked out from the window and up at the dissipating storm. Hop's eyes widened in astonishment, while Penny grimaced as she shifted uncomfortably from her seat.

"Uhhhh, Professor…? I think we're a tad bit too late…"

"Maybe, but we still made it," Hop insisted. "Alright, Penny. Bring out one Pokémon. Who knows what we're dealing with here? It could be an Ultra Beast, for all I know."

"A-a-a-an Ultra B-beast?!" Penny's hands shook as she unbuckled the seatbelt and hesitated for a moment but decided that following the Professor was her top priority as her grades were on the line, too.

"Maybe, mate. Most likely it's just a harmless storm, albeit a strange one." Hop got out of the pickup truck and took a Pokeball from his belt.

"Sushi, I choose you!"

"Come on out, Zorro!" Both trainers summoned their respective Pokémon. Cinderace quickly shielded Hop from the storm, while Meowscarada prepared itself for a feisty battle. However, their fears proved to be for naught as the dissipating storm completely vanished, and the sky returned to its normal tranquility, much to Penny's confusion.

"What just happened, Professor? Did the storm just…?"

"Beats me, mate. All I know is that something like this has never occurred in the wild area before." He paused and wondered about the now missing storm. "I wonder what caused it, though." Hop pondered on the thought for a few more seconds before setting his eyes back on the task at hand. "Right, let's investigate this area. This area is dodgy for my tastes. I'll take the point. You cover my six, Penny."

"Copy, Professor! Come on Zorro, stick with me."

"Lead the way, Sushi. Alert me if you see anything mighty suspicious." The duo proceeded with caution as they searched around the area to see if it had left anything behind, whether it was valuable information like leftover fossils or rare Pokémon. Penny was especially relieved that the tall grass was devoid of any wild Pokémon. She figured that the storm might have scared them off.

"Found anything, mate?!" Hop yelled from the other side.

"N-nothing yet, Professor!" Penny replied with a yell of her own.

Penny was about to take out her Rotom Phone when suddenly she saw a glint in the tall grass. Curious as to what it was, she trudged through the tall grass to see if she could find it. A few seconds later, she stumbled upon what seemed to be an unconscious person and a small, injured pink Pokémon next to him.

"Professor! There's someone here! They're unconscious!" she cried. Hop and Cinderace quickly ran to their side as Mewoscarada gingerly picked up the small Pokémon with its paws.

"Meow?" It asked the small Pokémon, hoping to elicit a response.

"C-careful, Zorro. That Pokémon looks seriously injured." Penny said as she took the small unconscious Pokémon away from Zorro. She then turned her attention to the unconscious person. "W-what about him, Professor Hop? D-do you think the storm injured this trainer?"

"Most likely. Come on, let's carry him back to the pickup truck and drive to the nearest Pokémon Center." Hop carried Victor's unconscious body while Penny kept a close eye on the small Pokémon. The two recalled their Pokémon back to their pokeballs. Hop gently placed Victor down on the backseat and wrapped the small Pokémon with a spare blanket.

"Professor, what is this Pokémon?" Penny asked as she checked its temperature.

Hop pulled out his Rotom Phone and accessed the Pokedex imagery function. He snapped a photo of the small, pink Pokémon and scanned it to see if it matches an entry in the database. He hoped the results would show them something. Instead, the Rotom Phone's screen flashed a message reading 'NO DATA AVAILABLE.'

"Drat. This Pokémon does not have any data available in the Pokedex Database." He grumbled.

"Professor, it feels strangely warm to the touch, and it doesn't look like a Fire-type. We have to reach the nearest Pokémon Center. Its illness might get worse if we don't take any action."

"Gotcha." And with that, Hop and Penny drove their way to the nearest Pokémon Center, with Hop hoping that it was not too late to rescue the injured Pokémon and the unconscious trainer.
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Chapter 2: Brand New World, Brand New Friends


Bug Catcher
Sandgem Town
  1. cinderace
Special thanks to @Cherry_BombBees and @Seren for beta reading this chapter.

Joyous victory to you, Prince Victor!

Victor, my son, why did you go out on your own without consulting with the captain?

I am so proud of you, my son. I never doubted you once.

What are you holding there, young man?

Cease your attacks, beast. Or your master dies. Slowly and painfully.

Cele… Briii!

Victor woke up and gasped for air, clutching his chest as he felt a burning sensation building up inside. Taking in deep breaths, his chest heaved as he sucked in oxygen rapidly.

Was it all a dream? he thought to himself. Those voices… could they be a part of the nightmare? It could not be… and yet…

He grumbled, rubbed his eyes, and slowly opened them. A bright light greeted his eyes, brighter than the candles from his castle. Once his vision was clear enough, he took in the surroundings that he was in. The ceiling was painted in a hue of white, a light emanating from what seemed to be a strange candle. Colorful walls decorated the room and various knick-knacks littered the desk that was on the other side of the bed.

"W-where am I…?" he sat up and looked around to see if there was anyone around that he could find. No one, or rather, no person, was around. The only living thing that was in the room, other than himself, was a rather large-looking pink creature with an egg on its belly, who sported a white nurse cap on top of her head.

The creature noticed him stirring up and slowly approached him. "Blissey…?"

"Bli… ssey?" he asked, confused at what it just said. "Where am I…?"

Blissey ignored him as she pressed a button on the wall. "Blissey, Bliss!"

"Where have you taken me…? What is this place…?" Victor tried to get off the bed, but his legs wobbled, and he nearly fell on the floor. "My legs!"

Blissey approached Victor and tried to help him get back to bed, but he was not having any of it. He needed to know where he was and what happened to the…

"The little creature! Where is it?!" he exclaimed, surprising Blissey.

Before he could receive an answer, a pink-haired lady with fair skin who sported a white cap, a white apron, a light pink dress, and a pair of white footwear, entered the room with a tray of what looked like magical potions with strange markings on them.

"Please, sir, calm down. We're here to help," the kind lady pleaded. "I am Nurse Joy, and this is Blissey." She introduced herself and her assistant.

"Blissey!" the pink Pokémon chirruped in response.

"Nurse… Joy, and… Blissey?" he asked, confused at the strange name that she has.

"Yes, that's correct." She approached him and placed the tray of medicine down on the bed. "I am the head nurse at this Pokémon Center. Are you alright, sir?"

"Pokémon… Center? As to your inquiry, I am fine." he asked, the gravity of his confusion growing even bigger.

"Well, I don't know what your name is. You have nothing on you we could use to identify you. May I ask what your name is?"

"... Prince Victor the First, but you may refer to me as Victor."

Nurse Joy scratched the back of her hair at the mention of him being a prince. "Okay, Victor. It's good to meet you. Now, how about you sit down and–"

"What do you want with me?" Victor snapped.

"I'm here to help you, sir." Nurse Joy tried to assure him, worried as she stepped backwards.

Victor's panic kicked up in high gear as he flailed his arms. "Where is the little pink creature?! Where have you taken me?!"

Nurse Joy raised her arms, not wanting to upset Victor. "Calm down, sir! We're not here to hurt you!" she pleaded.

Blissey yelped as she stood next to her trainer. "Blissey, Bliss!"

"Lies! For all I know, you are colluding with those mercenaries that tried to kidnap me!" Victor accused Nurse Joy. Now it was her turn to be confused.

"Mercenaries? What Mercenaries, sir? I don't know what you're talking about?"

Noticing the satchel that was laid down on the small table next to the bed, he quickly snagged the satchel and pulled out an improvised smoke bomb. He threw it on the ground to mask his escape.

"Victor, wait!"

As Victor made a run for it, he escaped the room and ran down the hallway. Various people and Pokémon moved out of the way, with some being shoved away by the panicked prince. As soon as he opened the doors that led to what he believed was the way out, he stumbled upon a large hall that was filled with people and Pokémon. All eyes turned in his direction. Some panicked as soon as they saw his disheveled appearance, while some backed away so as to not offend him.

Two large men in strange black suits and caps quickly approached him and blocked his way out, with the other wielding a strange black weapon.

"Sir, please calm down, there's no need to panic." the first man asked.

"Take it easy, chap." the man's partner chimed in.

"Unlikely. Not until I am out of this cursed place! I demand that you let me through!"

He wasn't going down without a fight, so he tackled the man to the left, quickly got up, and ran away, trying to put as much distance away from them. Opening the doors of the hallway, he stopped as soon as the view of the outside entered his scope of vision.

Tall buildings adorned the skies, with strange giant circular-shaped metals attached to some walls of the buildings. Various "paintings" of people, Pokémon, and lit-up lamps littered the streets. Flying metal objects could be seen up in the sky, as well as gigantic birds carrying strange carriages with their claws. But what struck him the most was that the people outside were accompanied by Pokémon.

"W-where am I…?" he tried to run away but was stopped by an invisible force. "I can't move! What is happening to me?!"

A bipedal, humanoid Pokémon, whose body resembled a flowing gown approached him alongside the two men that he had just shoved away. The bipedal Pokémon's eyes glowed a hue of pink.

"What have you done to me?! Why am I unable to move my body?!" he asked frantically, trying to break free of the spell that was cast upon him.

Before he could receive an answer, a dark-skinned man who wore a strange looking blue jacket and white coat, and a fair-skinned lady whose front half of her hair being red and the back half being blue, quickly approached the trio. "Officer, wait! He's our friend!" the man said.

"H-he's telling the truth, officer!" She lied as she kept her doubts about him to herself. "We rescued him from the Wild Area. H-he's in a state of panic, that's why he acted that way." the lady explained as she held her hands together. "P-please let him go! I promise you; he means no harm to anyone!"

"Ma'am. Are you sure about this? This young man just caused quite a ruckus inside the center." the lead officer explained.

"Y-yes, we're sure of it! He's with us!" she reassured the officer while trying her best to not slip-up.

"Officers, surely we could let this one slide, yeah? That bloke is not a threat, that I can assure you." The man tried to persuade the officer as he pulled out his calling card and handed it over to the officer. "I can vouch for him, officer. All I ask is that you let him go. Whatever he does will be my responsibility."

The officer in charge mulled over his reasoning. "What do you think, Kent?" he asked his partner.

"Honestly, the kiddo makes sense. He had the eyes of a panicked Yamper." his partner said.

"Hmmm. Alright, Professor Hop. We'll let him go. But do you promise to keep a close eye on your friend?"

"Yes, officer. I'll make sure he won't cause any more trouble."

The lead officer nodded and ordered the white bipedal pokemon to let him go, allowing Victor to freely move his body once again. He fell onto his knees as he clutched his chest, gasping for air.

"Alright, Professor Hop. He's yours. Please watch him and keep him out of trouble. Got it, sir?" the officer asked.

"Got it."

"Alright, sir. Ma'am. You all have a good day now." The trio then went back inside the building to check on Nurse Joy, leaving Victor alone with the two strangers that had just negotiated for his release. The man with the white coat approached him alongside the lady in tow.

"Are you alright?" he asked Victor.

"Yes… yes, I am okay. Thank you for saving me, kind strangers." Victor stood up as he thanked him and bowed his head as a sign of respect.

"Ah, it's nothing." the man dismissed. "Just… don't cause a scene like that again, yeah?"

Silence filled the air as both the duo and Victor were unsure of what to say next. Feeling uncomfortable with the awkward silence, Victor cleared his throat and spoke up first.

"May I ask how I can address you as…?" Victor asked the man.

"Ah, I'm sorry for not introducing ourselves. I am Hop, and this is my friend, Penny." The man introduced himself and his friend.

"I-it's good to meet you, sir!" Penny waved her hand at him.

Victor smiled at her enthusiasm and shook both of their hands. "Thank you for rescuing me, Sir Hop. Lady Penny. I am both in your debt."

"O-oh, aha, you don't have to be so formal about it. Just Hop is fine, and it's not a problem…" Hop stammered as he scratched his nose, oblivious to the light blush formed on his cheeks.

"S-same here! I'm not used to formal talk, either." Victor tilted his head at both Hop's and Penny's statements.

"And why would I not respect you by refraining myself from addressing you with 'Sir' and 'Lady' respectively?" he questioned them.

"Huh? W-what do you mean?" Penny asked as she scratched her head.

"Us royals are bound by kindness, justice, and especially respect. To simply call you by your first name would be disrespectful of me." Victor explained. "I do not want to dare to disrespect other people, especially for those who have helped me in my time of need."

"I-I'm sorry. I don't understand what's going on?" he stuttered. "Regardless, may we know your name?"

"Prince Victor the First of The Empire of Galar," he answered. Both Hop and Penny gave him bewildered looks, as they were both confident that there was no empire here. At least, not in modern times.

Hop cleared his ears to check if what he had just heard was correct. "What are you-"

"Now, if you may, could you please tell me where we are?" he asked as he crossed his arms.

"W-we're in Motostoke City!" Penny replied.

"Pardon me?" Victor answered.

"Pardon what now…?" Hop stammered as he glanced at Penny, who simply shrugged.

"Very well then, do you know where Hammerlocke Castle is? I can traverse the roads on my own from here on out. I just need you to show me the right route that leads to the castle grounds." He asked. Both Hop and Penny could only look at him with bewilderment.

"Well, I know the direction of the city." Hop replied.

"City…? Whatever do you mean by that…?" he wondered.

"Hammerlocke City is north of here. You'll have to take either a Corviknight Taxi or a train ride to get there." Hop explained.

"But that… that is not right. Hammerlocke is the name of our castle. It is not a city, nor is it a settlement." he said as a frown formed on his lips. Hop and Penny noticed his change of mood. After thinking about what they both could do to help him, Hop decided that assisting him is the best course of action to take.

"How about we go back inside the Pokémon Center, yeah? You look like you could use some rest." Hop suggested.

"... What is this so-called 'Pokémon Center'?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow. Hop's eyes widened in shock. This might be harder than he initially thought.

"Um… come on. Let's get you sorted out…" Hop stammered, which earned him a playful punch on the elbow from Penny.

"Very well then, Sir Hop. Lead the way." he nodded after he considered his words for a moment. "But wait, what about the pink creature?!"

"D-don't worry! I-it's in the Pokémon Center right behind us!" Penny exclaimed as Victor sighed in relief.

With Victor staying at the Pokémon Center to get checked for injuries, Hop and Penny went outside to grab a much-needed snack. Hop was munching on his bagel while Penny stared down at her plate of churros. Her uncomfortable silence attracted Hop's attention as he placed his half-eaten sandwich back down on his plate.

"Speak with me, mate. What's bothering your noggin?" Hop inquired, and Penny shifted uncomfortably from her seat. "Seriously, Penny. What's wrong? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I-It's about the guy, Professor." she squeaked.

"What about him?" he asked.

"T-that hombre es sospechoso. E-especially since he has a P-Pokémon that the Dex wasn't able to i-identify." she admitted.

"What makes you think he's suspicious? He shrugged. "Aside from his choice of fashion, of course."

"I mean, l-look at him! H-he claims to be a Prince, h-he does not know what a P-Pokémon center is, and h-he has a s-suspicious looking P-Pokémon!" she exclaimed. "F-for all we know, h-he might be up to no good. O-or worse…" she leaned in and whispered, "T-team Rocket!"

Hop chuckled at the last bit, although a part of him agrees with her reasoning. The outdated mannerisms, his claims of being a Prince of Galar, not to mention the pink Pokémon that the dex wasn't able to identify. Although now that he thought about it, the little Pokémon looked familiar to him from a book that had something to do with time.

"Penny, Team Rocket barely even exists. Regardless, it's our responsibility to help a person in need. Right now, though, he's a mess. How about we go buy him a nice pair of clothes so he can go home without looking like he's been through a warzone? He doesn't look like he's got some extras with him."

"B-but Professor!" Penny tried to object but Hop waved his finger at her.

"No buts, Penny. Cast aside your doubts for now. The least we could do for him is to make sure he looks decent before he goes back home."

"Oh. A-alright, Professor…" she grumbled before taking a bite out of her churro.

Back in the Pokémon Center, Victor was sorted out by the same Nurse Joy that he had frightened earlier. She checked his vitals and made sure that he had no serious injuries. Victor glanced at the tools and weird metal objects that the nurse used and even hesitated to let himself get checked by Nurse Joy. In the end, she convinced him, and he allowed himself to be checked.

"And there you go. You're good as new." Nurse Joy said with a smile.

"Thank you kindly, Nurse… Joy, was it not…?" he asked.

"That's correct!"

"I humbly apologize for frightening you earlier, Nurse Joy. I was in a state of panic, so my mind was not in the right place at that moment." he apologized as he turned his gaze away from Nurse Joy's.

"It's alright. I know you mean no harm to me," she said as she patted his shoulder as a sign of assurance. "Anyway, your friends will be back momentarily. They just went out for a bit to get something. Is there anything else I could help you with?"

"May I have some water, please?" he asked, feeling the dry lump in his throat. Nurse Joy went over to the small fridge and took out a cold bottle of water and handed it over to Victor. His hand recoiled away from the bottle as he felt the cold temperature of the object. Nonetheless, he accepted the bottle, even though such an object was foreign to him. "How can I drink from this… goblet, Nurse Joy?"

Nurse Joy tilted her head and took the bottle from him. She took off the bottle's water cap and handed the bottle back to Victor. "You just remove the bottle's cap, and you can drink from it now, like this." Nurse Joy showed this to Victor by drinking from her bottle of water.

"I see. Thank you, Nurse Joy." Victor thanked her as he drank the contents of the bottle, momentarily taken aback by the water's cold temperature. His moment was interrupted when he heard a light knock from the door.

"Ah, your friends are here. I'll return to my desk. If you need me, just ring the buzzer button and I'll check on you." Nurse Joy said, and Victor spoke up before she could leave the room.

"What about the pink creature, Nurse Joy…? Is it okay?"

"The pink, small Pokémon? It's fine, but it will need some time to rest. I can assure you it's in good hands. Once it's fully recovered, we will return it to you."

"... Thank you, Nurse Joy." he thanked her.

"It's no problem, Victor." Nurse Joy then left the room and gestured for Hop and Penny to come in. They both walked into the room and waved their hands at him. He reciprocated the gesture as he placed the bottle of water on the nightstand.

"Evening, mate. How are you feeling?" Hop asked.

"Mate…?" he asked, not knowing what the word meant. "I am okay. Nurse Joy said that I only received minor cuts and bruises, but she has given me these weird potions that left a rather disgusting taste in my mouth."

"Heh, that's medicine for you," Hop said.

"W-we bought you some clothes!" Penny added as she handed over the shopping bag of clothes to him.

"Thank you, but I must decline. My clothes are enough," he said, which confused both Penny and Hop.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you, but…" Hop took the vanity mirror and turned the reflection towards Victor. To say his clothing was a disaster was an understatement. Thick dirt splattered across his pants, along with large holes scattered across his sleeves. What remained of his cape was frayed at the fringe, littered with what looked to be ash and smoke. The medallion dangling from his neck was a murky shade of brown, along with the dull purple sash holding it up.

"Oh my. I look like I just came back from a battle," he remarked.

"Yeah, hence the clothes we bought for you," Hop said.

"Wait, you bought me some clothing…?" his eyes widened in shock. He doesn't have enough gold coins with him. He rummaged through his satchel to check if he had some left, but only found two pieces of gold coins and four pieces of silver coins.

"W-what are you doing?" Penny asked as Victor offered them the remaining coins he had left.

"Please, take it. I cannot, in good conscience, take this clothing, knowing you have purchased them for me. It is not much, but it is all that I have left." he explained.

"Woah, hold up there, mate. Who said we're doing this for payments?" Hop asked. "We bought these for you because you need them. We're doing this for free. Right, Penny?"

"Y-yes! What he said!" Penny stammered. "B-besides, they're on sale!"

"Sir Hop, Lady Penny… I cannot thank you enough for your generosity," he said as he accepted the bag of clothes that was handed to him and pocketed the coins in his satchel. "Is there a spare room that I could use to change my clothes in?"

"Yeah, the bathroom's over there. You can go in there to change your clothes privately." Hop said, pointing his finger in the bathroom's direction to the right. "Just let us know when you're done."

Victor nodded as he got up and entered the bathroom, while Hop pulled out his Rotom Phone. "We should look for his trainer's info, his parents might be worried about him. Can you look into that for me? I need to make a phone call." Hop said.

"Y-you got it, Professor!" Penny furiously typed on the phone's keyboard as she searched for information about Victor, while Hop dialed Sonia's phone number.

"Come on. Pick up the phone, Sonia…"

"Hello, this is Professor Sonia. To whom am I speaking to?"

"Sonia, it's me! Listen, there's something I need to-"

"Ah, Hop! Good timing! I was just about to call you on the bell, actually. You were supposed to return with your findings about the group of wild Magikarp two hours ago! What happened?" Sonia asked. Hop could hear her typing on her keyboard in the background.

"Yeah, about that. Something happened. You see… there was this storm…"

"Uh-huh, even though it's a bright sunny day earlier this afternoon."

"Sonia, I'm telling the truth. Me and Penny picked up an energy signal, and that storm was the source!" Hop exclaimed. "We drove to its location, but by the time we arrived there, it was already disappearing…"

"Wait a minute. Did you just say you picked up an energy signal?" she asked. "My scanners didn't pick up anything on my end. Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, with the portable scanner that Penny repaired while we were out on the field. That's not all. We found an unconscious trainer who sported some weird-looking clothes at the site of the energy's signal, and a Pokemon that the Pokedex weren't able to identify."

"Is the trainer okay?"

"Yes. He's in the bathroom, changing clothes. And again, he has a Pokemon that the Dex wasn't able to identify." He remarked.

"That's weird. Normally, your Pokedex should be able to identify a Pokémon that you encountered in the wild and vice versa. Send me the snaps of the Pokémon, and I'll see if I can't identify it."

"One sec." Hop opened his photo gallery and shared the picture of the Pokémon that he took from when they first found it. He looked at Penny while the phone was processing the image transfer. "Did you find any clues about our mysterious trainer yet?"

Penny shook her head. "T-there are no records available in the trainer's database. I-it's as if h-he didn't e-existed at all!"

"Keep looking. Try the internet, if you have to." he said, and Penny saluted as she returned to her task at hand. "Did you get the snaps yet, Sonia?"

"One sec… and received." The line went silent for a minute, which worried Hop. He was about to speak until Sonia's voice piped up. "Hop… are you sure that the snaps you sent me are genuine?"

"Yeah, why Sonia…? What's wrong?"

"Where's the Pokémon now? Is it with you?!" she frantically asked.

"Uh, yeah. We're at the Pokemon Center at Motostoke. The Pokémon–"

"Stay right where you are, Hop. I'm headed to where you are now." She interrupted, before ending the phone call.

"Sonia, wait. Ah, blimey. She hung up on me." Hop pocketed his Rotom Phone and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I wonder why Sonia was acting like something spooked her…"

"P-Professor Hop! I found something!" Penny said, gesturing to him to come over and look at the screen. Hop's eyes widened as soon as he saw what Penny had found. On the screen was Victor himself, depicted by an old painting that was on display at the National Heritage Museum of Galar in Wyndon. The title of the painting was called 'The Prince's Triumph.'

"It c-can't be…" Hop stammered. "So, he's THE actual first prince of ancient Galar…?" He rubbed both of his eyes to see if he was seeing things or not.

"I-it's impossible! N-no one can live for three thousand years and still keep their youth!" she remarked.

"Yeah, unless of course…" he stopped and thought about the plausible hypothesis for this strange occurrence, until he remembered the book that he read about Sinnoh's folktales. "I'm not sure if my theory is correct, but… could he possibly be a time traveler?"

"T-time travel isn't possible!" Penny yelled back. Although she thought about it for a quick minute; his outdated mannerisms would make sense if he was a time traveler.

"Yes, that is true. Conventionally speaking, of course." Hop paced around the room, back and forth. "From what I can recall, there was this Pokemon that was recorded in history books back in Sinnoh. A great being, who controls time, was said to have harnessed the ability to travel in time back and forth." he glanced at the door of the bathroom. "So it's possible that our mysterious trainer may have met this mythical Pokemon and traveled through time."

"B-but what about the pink pokémon? Does it b-belong to him?" she asked.

"I'm… not sure Penny. If it was, it would have been in its Pokéball. Worse of all, there's no data or matching records that could tell us who that pokemon is. For now, we'll just have to wait and see. Professor Sonia's on her way here." Hop sat back down and took the laptop from Penny, analyzing the photo of the old painting closer. "Prince Victor, huh…"

"I-if it's really him, then w-what should we do?" she asked as she took out a piece of bubblegum and chewed on it.

"Then we have a problem on our hands. We'll ask him some questions later."

Not long after, the door to the bathroom swung open. Both Hop and Penny turned their attention to him. Victor timidly walked back into the room, who sported a brand new look. He was now wearing a red polo shirt, cuffed dark blue jeans with green plaid pockets, along with a gray beanie hat and a pair of brown loafers. He placed a hand on the back of his neck and blushed in embarrassment. Hop smiled back, blissfully unaware of the dark blush spreading across his cheeks. Penny can't help but roll her eyes at her Professor's obliviousness to his blushing.

"These clothes… they seem to have little fabric in it." Victor remarked as he tugged on the polo shirt collar. "Yet, it feels… comfortable."

"D-do you like it?" Hop stammered.

"Yes. Yes, I do. The clothes that I have back at my castle can be uncomfortable because of the fabric that my servants would use for making my clothes." Victor walked to his bed and sat back down, tugging at the cuff of his jeans. "These pants… they feel weird, in a good way. What kind of fabric does it use?"

"C-cotton fiber!" Penny replied. "It's n-nature's most abundant p-polymer!"

"Cotton?!" Victor yelped in surprise. He covered his mouth for a moment, before clearing his throat and spoke up again. "Are you sure, Lady Penny?"

"Yep, she's right, mate." Hop chimed in as he typed something with her laptop's keyboard. "100% cotton. Otherwise, it wouldn't be that comfortable."

Victor sat in silence as his gaze fell downward and hid his face behind his hands for a moment. He felt even more indebted to his newfound friends. Hop noticed his discomfort, so he returned the laptop to Penny and approached him. He kneeled on one knee and met his lowered gaze.

"What's wrong, mate?" Hop asked, and Victor avoided his gaze. "Did we do something wrong…?"

"... No. You have not offended me." he replied. "I am just… Cotton is an extremely valuable commodity in our empire. For you to offer it to me for free was just…"

Hop held his chin underneath and turned his gaze to meet Hop's. "Mate, I meant it when I said that we're doing it for free. Do not, and I mean do not, ever expect that we will demand payment in return." A small smile formed on his lips and his cheeks blushed lightly. "Thanks is enough for me. Okay…?"

Victor smiled in return. He felt something strange within his chest, like as if a group of butterfrees swarmed in. "Thank you, Sir Hop."

"Are you really set on calling me Sir Hop, Victor...?" Hop asked, and he nodded. An awkward silence filled the room as both young men were lost in each other's eyes. Penny noticed this, and she controlled herself from squealing with great delight, especially when she realized why her Professor was blushing as dirty thoughts formed in her mind, not noticing the small trickle of blood that dripped from her nostrils.

"H-h-how about w-w-we grab some La Cena?!" she stuttered, which snapped the two young men out of their staring contest as they looked at her.

"Penny, your nose." he warned as he took out his handkerchief and tossed it over to her.

"T-thank you, Professor." she then gingerly wiped the trail off her nose. "B-but yeah, I'm hungry! It's La Cena time!"

"What does 'La Cena' mean?" Victor asked.

"It's Paldean for dinner, Vic." he replied as he stood up and dusted off his pants. "Are you hungry?"

Victor tilted his head. Was there someone else with them? "Vic..? Who is Vic?"

Hop explained as he pointed right at Victor's face. "Oh, it's your name! It's basically a nickname that I came up with for you, haha!"

He felt his cheeks heating up at the mention of being given a nickname as he flashed a genuine smile. "Sir Hop… I am honored."

"Now that we got this out of the way, would you like to eat dinner with us? The food in the Center is free for everyone to eat." Hop extended his right arm to him and Victor accepted the help as he stood up with Hop's help.

"I would be delighted to join you."
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Gotta go back. Back to the past.
Residency hell
  1. silvally-dragon
  2. necrozma-ultra
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. dreepy
  6. mewtwo-ambyssin
Hello, I'm here as your catnip person. Or one of them. I've looked at both parts. These are my spur of the moment opinions.

-These opening few paragraphs read a bit like a history textbook. If that's what you were going for then it does the job, but I'm not sure that's to the fic's benefit because it feels rather detached. That, along with some of the tense confusions (e.g. "the harmony between them was rare"), incorrect capitalizations (e.g. "the Empire of Galar"), and use of "1st" instead of the proper title of Victor I or Victor the first, makes it stumble for me.
-It's more appropriate to use em dashes (—) for characters getting cut off mid-dialogue, not hyphens.
-Victor routed the enemy? Is this Fire Emblem? :quag:
-So, the prince has a rapidash even though the opening paragraphs described people as quite hostile to pokémon in this age? Interesting, but I don't think it will be expounded on.
-I must confess I'm... not the biggest fan of this dialogue so far in the first few scenes. Not because of the subject matter. I appreciate Victor's parents seem quite caring toward him unlike a lot of royalty portrayed in media but not so overprotective that Victor comes across as overly selfish. But the way these characters are speaking reads to me like you're trying way too hard to force regal voices onto them without using ye olde Shakespearean Englishe™. Having Victor referring to his parents with a "father" and "mother" in every line of dialogue while the parents go "my son" or "my dear" to each other every other sentence gets quite grating and makes them come off more robotic than regal. I also think having them use capital G "God" instead of Arceus would read as less clunky. They worship Arceus as God in what seems like a very Anglo-Christian manner, and speaking as a Jew it's blasphemous to use God's real name, so I feel like the Galarians should have a similar view of using Arceus' true name if they are proper god-fearing people.
-I like the dining hall description. Interesting that litwick are there tending to the chandeliers. Again, this is at odds with the intro paragraphs, so I'm quite curious how accurate they really are.
-Hi, AZ. I imagine this must be pre-Ultimate Weapon, but it's funny that he still looks rather haggard if that's the case.
-Is Latermore a kingdom or a city? Princess implies Valeria is the daughter of a monarch, but the introduction made it sound like Galar is this vast empire. I imagine she'd be more of a duchess or marchioness.
-Wow, Victor's parents really sat on an arranged marriage for, like, over a decade? That seems remarkably foolish of them. Almost unbelievably so.
-Smoke bombs from a weaponsmith from Johto? Oh, oh, that's Beni, isn't it? I guess we're in Hisuian times. :V Between that, the dagger, and the bow, though, it gives me some BotW vibes.
-I recognized a few of those moments in the time stream: the Temple of Sinnoh becoming the Spear Pillar, the fight in Sootopolis between Groudon and Kyogre, and I guess Arceus creating Earth using meteors? Though, like, Victor didn't recognize Arceus in the slightest? Despite his kingdom apparently worshiping it? Are there no depictions of Arceus in their scriptures? I find that a bit baffling.
-I'm just going to proceed under the assumption that, outside of getting sent back to Galar for Starnanigans, Penny's quite different from her canon depiction. Since her voice here is quite different from the games and giving her a meowscarada is a strange choice given her eeveelution love.
-I have similar issues with Hop and Penny's dialogue as I did with the royals'. There are other ways to get across Hop is British than having him say "mate" every other line. And Penny doesn't need to constantly refer to Hop as "professor."

-I... feel like Victor would have been taken to, y'know, a human hospital, not a Pokémon Center.
-Ah, so the castle that was mentioned (but not really described) in the prologue is most likely the current Hammerlocke gym and the underground chamber Eternatus incubated in.
-Silly Penny, Nemona's the one who breaks into gratuitous Spanish.
-W... why would someone who's lived in Galar and Paldea care about Team Rocket? I guess you're crafting one of those worlds where Team Rocket wields far more criminal influence beyond Kanto and Johto? Still seems a bit odd, especially with Hop dismissing it right away. Unless this is a nod to the anime and Penny's anime-loving tendencies?
-Lastly, I'm not sure if you understand dialogue tag formatting. It might be something your betas fixed a bit, while missing other places, but...
"As you wish, my king." The assistant said,
A proper dialogue dialogue tag like this, that uses a speaking verb, should not have the dialogue ending in a period, but instead a coma, with the tag using lower case: "As you wish, my king," the assistant said.
I fixed your scanner!" She exclaimed.
Even when dialogue ends with a ? or !, you still need to keep the dialogue tag in lower case: "I fixed your scanner!" she exclaimed.
"W-where am I…?" he sat up
Unlike the other two examples, this is not a dialogue tag, as it doesn't contain a speaking verb related to the dialogue. So it would be capitalized: "Where am I?" He sat up.
"S-same here! I'm not used to formal talk, either." Victor tilted his head
And it can be confusing to readers to follow a line of dialogue with the name of a character who didn't just speak. Penny's speaking here, but this reads like Victor's the one who just spoke. You should put that second line in a new paragraph instead.

The time travel elements here make for an interesting set up to what I'm guessing is a more character driven piece as opposed to the standard isekai stuff involving saving a region or world. It is funny that this is taking place in Galar instead of Paldea given the plot of Scarlet and Violet, but that's where the originality comes in to play. I do believe the greatest stumbling point is in some of the mechanical execution. The dialogue right now reads stiffly to me and makes it hard to view these characters as people for me, personally. And if this is a character driven piece, then you really need solid dialogue to sell the characters to your audience. Fortunately, the story's still in its infancy, so you have plenty of time to clean things up. I would definitely tone down on the number of times people address one another and try to find other ways for characters to express their quirks through body language. Like instead of Penny stammering all the time, some nervous fidgeting or lack of eye contact every now and again. Or maybe replacing Hop's constant "mates" with other British colloquialisms. It would go a long way toward improving the fic, in my opinon.


Charizard Fan
  1. charizard
BLITZ exchange time!


Barry and Marley as the king and queen of a Galar Empire? Like... the Barry and Marley from DPPt?

And the SwSh PC is their son? I think? Either way he’s a well trained, but untested warrior who is being sent to quell some sort of “barbarian” raids along with some traditional reinforcements. “Barbarian” could mean a lot of things, but I doubt that they’re as well trained or equipped as professional soldiers sent by an apparently worldwide empire.

I wonder the time period here, given that this is something that an heir to the throne might be sent out on to gain some real world experience. Rulers in medieval and early-renaissance kingdoms were expected to lead their armies into war. Barry is doing the kind of thing he should be doing in this time period, making sure that his son and heir knows what it is to be in a real battle. Which makes it weird that he’s worried and Marley isn’t, but maybe that’s just their dynamic.

So, Victor does have experience in real battle? Contradicting yourself a bit here. Has he just not faced these “barbarians” before?

Ah, so Victor won without an issue. And immediately after his parents were worrying about him. Fortuitous timing lol.

Victor abandoning his own ARMOUR is incredibly foolhardy. I can accept Victor perhaps swapping the colours of his own house for the standard of the empire, but abandoning his armour for something inferior puts him at unnecessary risk. Which, is something that would never happen in a dynastic based civilization.

This is more of my “medieval nerd” peeking through, but armour was absolutely not standard throughout the vast majority of history. Yes, you might have the odd professional force that has standardized equipment (becoming more and more common in the late medieval era), but most of the time it was a “bring your own gear” kind of thing. If this is a “levy” of men raised from the town and surrounding countryside, then this is likely to be a force of mostly spearmen, on foot, with mismatched armour and maybe a few horsemen raised from the minor nobility and knightly houses.

Meaning that, Victor abandoning his own amazingly high quality armour makes no sense whatsoever because his own safety is paramount for the literal survival of the state itself. He may have a small force of heavily armed and armoured men, possibly on horseback (Pokemon-back?), possibly a small force of trainers (depending on the worldbuilding of the setting, early returns make me think probably not).

Maybe it’s just me being unfamiliar with Galar, but who is Valerie? Im picturing female SwSh protagonist, but I’m not certain.

Victor has the whole “conquering hero” return. Makes me think the barbarians are stronger than I thought.

The way you’re talking about these barbarians make me think of Norse pagans a bit. It would fit, what with Galar being British Isles based. Vikings invaded England in the 700s to the early 1000s so it does fit.

Victor actually gets reprimanded for personally leading the charge. Which… yeah, he should be reprimanded. He is the presumptive next ruler of Galar. He absolutely CANNOT be risking his life in battle. At the same time, the tactics Victor used (using his heavily armoured men as a hammer to break his opponent’s lines), we’re probably the right choice.

If you’re fighting Vikings, you’re probably fighting a force of lightly armed and armoured infantry who can likely double as archers in a pinch. While they might be individually better fighters than Victor’s men (especially if they’re sea-borne raiders like the Vikings), against a cohesive force with cavalry they don’t stand much of a chance. Leaving some men behind to make sure the area is safe is also sound military strategy.

So, all of that to say that this is an interesting run of events where he probably did the right thing but he’s also rightfully getting chewed out for risking the line of succession. It’s a nice start to Victor’s character arc.

Oh! A King AZ cameo!!! Fuck yeah! I guess that Kalos is a little more accepting of pokemon than Galar seems to be.

Victor being uncomfortable with the spotlight is a stark contrast with the jubilant return home. His exaggerated feats would also be a good tool for currying favour and impressing the gathered leadership. Honestly, this would be an important ceremony for Victor and his father would have imparted that on him.

‘Princess enters’

Ah, here comes the betrothal.

aaaaaand yup his parents are betrothing him to a princess. And Victor is seemingly surprised by it.

Here’s the thing. He would know that this is coming. I cannot stress enough how important producing an heir was to a dynastic based society. Victor would know that a betrothal was coming, and would likely have some small influence over the process of choosing a bride. Its highly likely that matters of potential marriage alliances would be paramount though, and he wouldn’t have much choice about the matter.

So, Barry and Marley would have prepared Victor for this as his DUTY to the future generations of his family. He would have known that he’s going to have to marry.

It’s normal to feel like he feels during that situation, but he should ABSOLUTELY have known it was coming.

Also, marriages were not uncommon between people who had never met before during this age. Oftentimes children were viewed as an asset to secure alliances and little more. Meaning that the marriage having been agreed to since both children were 5 makes sense. Just… not if Victor doesn’t know about it.

It wasn’t entirely uncommon for children to elope with their lovers to escape a marriage pact, or keep their mistress on the side. But… it was uncommon for them to outright refuse. Especially the child of a literal KING.

Oh? He has a former love? Did she die?

Ah, and he’s gonna run away. Probably run into a Celebi and make good on that “travel through time” thing.

Aaaaand he runs straight into trouble. That’s quite the run of bad luck. He’s got probably every soldier in the area on high alert and he has to also make trouble with the bandits too.

Honestly I’d be leaving the Celebi. Victor seems like he’s a good guy, but sticking your neck into unfriendly situations like that is gonna bite him in the ass.

Decent enough chase sequence. I’m a fan of legendary pokemon being particularly powerful so I spent the entire time yelling at Celebi to start levitating and doing some funky time magic shit.

As it is, I don’t mind the time portal. It’s always more fun when Celebi can’t completely control things and I have a feeling that Victor is gonna end up stranded by the time all is said and done.

I don’t know much about Penny, but I like her enthusiasm. Having an SV character as an exchange student is a good excuse to stuff someone new into the fic.

Aaaand we’re set up going into an isekai of sorts (just a time travel isekai rather than a universe hopping one). I like the setup, even if I’m not the biggest isekai fan in general. I feel like transporting a medieval times era prince to the modern day should lead to a fun dynamic.

Chapter 1 (This should be 2, a prologue at 8k words is just your first chapter)

Victor has the exact reaction he should be. He’s in a hospital. He’s never seen anything like this, and a pokemon approaching him first is a great way to set him as “different” than the modern day characters due to his apparent discomfort with them (Caroline aside).

I wonder why he immediately assumes that Hop and Penny are nobility. Seems like a strange assumption to make. Is it because he doesn’t recognize their clothes?

Oh man, he’s in his hometown. Just far in the future. I wonder what he’s going to think about Hammerlocke.

He’s done an alright job of adapting to the modern world. Much quicker than he could have been expected to adapt.

Quite honestly, your first chapter was much stronger in my eyes. I see some of the other reviews have pointed out the critical issues, so I’ll leave you with my love of the setting and the inherent fun in that kind of story.

This was great fun! Hope to see you continue to write and improve on what you have here!


Sloooowly writing...
  1. jfought-sword
  2. jfought-blue
  3. deerling-summer
  4. charmeleon
  5. vulpix
I have come for Catnip! So apparently this is a Trainshipping fic? I didn't know what trainshipping was until I looked it up, but it seems like Hop and Victor will be major characters, with the premise being that Victor is actually a prince from a long time ago. It's a neat premise, so let's see what you do with it!

Thoughts on Chapters 1 and 2
  • So we’re starting off in a medieval setting! The way the characters speak definitely leans heavily into “medieval royal” tropes. It was a little overbearing at times (you probably could have cut back on the “for king and country” stuff), but I wasn’t too bothered by it, and I think the main thing it does well is get across the idea that everything is going well in Victor’s life right now.

  • Victor seems to be “the people’s prince,” with your emphasis on him wanting to appeal to commoners and the way he puts himself out there to get things done. I like the small moments where he shakes that last person’s hand or when he salutes back to the guardsmen in the castle. Cute little details like that help give me a better sense of his character. I think he might be the strongest character dialogue-wise too: in general I'd say he has the best characterization in these two chapters.

  • The prose in this story is a bit hit or miss so far. There are some good bits in here, but there are also a lot of places where the specific wording you chose comes across as kind of awkward. But it's hard for me to give general tips, both because I am not very good at prose analysis and because I feel like this is one of those things where the only proper antidote is experience. Like, I kinda get the vibe that English might not be your first language, in which case the more you read, and the more you write, the tighter your writing will get. I still gave a few critiques in the typos section down below, though.

  • AZ makes a cameo appearance here! So I think this means we're 3000 years in the past? I wonder if AZ will show up again in the future, since he is the only character here who'll still be alive in the time Victor travels to.

  • The scene in the forest is fairly well done. I wasn't expecting to actually get to see Victor show off his combat prowess, though ultimately he gets overwhelmed by numbers. If I do have a nitpick, the bandits speak very formally here, which feels kind of off for what I think you were going for.

  • Hop and Penny show up! I like the idea that this is taking place during Penny’s exchange trip. Hop more or less seems to be in character here. Penny a bit less so: she does a lot of exclaiming in the prologue when she’s never come across as a particularly loud or energetic character in canon. I also think you leaned a bit too hard into their verbal tics. Penny in particular does a lot of stuttering, like right here:
    "I mean, l-look at him! H-he claims to be a Prince, h-he does not know what a P-Pokémon center is, and h-he has a s-suspicious looking P-Pokémon!" she exclaimed. "F-for all we know, h-he might be up to no good. O-or worse…" she leaned in and whispered, "T-team Rocket!"
    When it comes to stuttering, the more you do it, the more unreadable your dialogue becomes as the reader has to stumble through each and every letter. It's best to keep it to a minimum where possible, and here it's definitely too much. Something like this would read better:
    "I-I mean, look at him! He claims to be a Prince, h-he does not know what a Pokémon center is, and he has a s-suspicious looking Pokémon!" she exclaimed. "For all we know, h-he might be up to no good. Or worse…" she leaned in and whispered, "Team Rocket!"
    My suggestion to you would be to try and read back through Penny's dialogue and think about what each stutter adds to it. Like, if all it does is make the sentence harder or more awkward to read, you probably don't want it there. If a character is stuttering, it should be telling us something about the character and what they're feeling at the moment, and you don't need them constantly stumbling over their words to communicate that.

  • At first I thought you were going the route of "celebi is an unidentified pokémon," but then I remembered dexit and actually it makes perfect sense why it wouldn't be in the dex :P.

  • Victor wakes up and experiences some culture shock! He hasn't quite realized that this place is a little too weird to be anywhere close to home. I feel like maybe you could have focused a bit more on his perspective here, since undoubtedly he should be seeing a ton of things he's never seen before, but the only real glimpse into that we got was when he stepped outside for a moment.

  • Penny feels a bit more in character in Chapter 2. I like her gratuitous Spanish, it's a cute quirk that takes advantage of the fact that she isn't in her home region. I do wonder why she's worried about Team Rocket though. Do they have some kind of presence in Galar right now?

  • The trainshipping commences! Victor and Hop fall for each other the instant Victor puts on those clothes. I can see why Victor would feel flattered, being given something that, to him, is incredibly valuable entirely for free. And I guess Hop just thinks he looks cute. I'm not like, a super big romance or shipping person, so I'm not really in the audience for this, but I suppose if the goal is to cater to that audience then it makes sense to start teasing their romance early. Though Penny getting a nosebleed is a little much. I guess she's just into yaoi :P.
As for typos and more specific prose critiques, I'll keep them all in here:
He had a scarf around his neck, and he adorned a medallion ring.
"To adorn" means to make more beautiful, not "to wear" as it is used here.

He gestured to Caroline to stop and rest for a while until the sun rose in the sky and dismounted her.
This bit kind of comes out of nowhere. The sentence changes subject to "the sun rising in the sky" halfway through, so when you quickly change the subject back to Victor and Caroline like this it feels really abrupt. It might be better to split this into two sentences, or otherwise try and word it differently.

His hand shook a little but had done his best to keep it steady, for this moment meant life or death.
I think you want "he did" here instead. I do like the last part of this sentence though, it has a good weight to it.

"I do not wish to bring you harm," Victor reassured the small creature, and carefully scooped it up with his left hand. He brought it close to his chest and looked down at her with a small smile.
This one bothered me for a bit until I realized it's one of those things where this is technically grammatically correct, but it doesn't read well because of the way the paragraph is paced. Something like "Victor reassured the small creature as he carefully scooped it up with his left hand" would read better. Also, you accidently referred to Celebi as a her here, when I don't think you meant to.

"... Just a creature of mine. He was injured in the woods earlier by a wild creature." Victor lied.
This is the reason why I don't think you meant to, because you then changed to he here :P.

With the group still hot on their heels, Victor dismounted from Caroline and unsheathed his bow.
You don't "unsheath" a bow. Unsheathing implies it's inside, well, a sheath, and I doubt it actually was.

"Cease your attacks, beast. Or your master dies. Slowly and painfully." She threatened, which was enough to get Caroline to stand down.
I think this was a typo, as at no point elsewhere is it established that any of the bandits are women.

"Wait for a second… you're Prince Victor the First." He said, a creepy smile forming on his lips.
The "for" here makes the dialogue read really stilted and awkward. You should probably remove it.

"There you go, my little gold maker." He taunted the creature as it tried to scamper away.
I think you meant "there you are" instead?

Eyes widened; Hop gave the scanner to her.
"Eyes widened" isn't a proper sentence, so using it with a semicolon like this doesn't work.

"Right, let's investigate this area. This area is dodgy for my tastes. I'll take the point. You cover my six, Penny."
The repetition of "this area" in the dialogue feels stilted. And the correct phrase here is "I'll take point."

"Mercenaries? What Mercenaries, sir? I don't know what you're talking about?"
I'm not sure why "mercenaries" is capitalized here. Also, the last sentence isn't a question, so you don't need the question mark.

"H-he's telling the truth, officer!" She lied as she kept her doubts about him to herself. "We rescued him from the Wild Area. H-he's in a state of panic, that's why he acted that way." the lady explained as she held her hands together.
You did a bit of headhopping here. It does seem like you're going for a third-person omniscient narration, but if that's what you're going for you should take care not to switch so quickly between Penny and Victor's perspectives in the middle of a paragraph like this, as it's a little confusing.

"... Thank you, Nurse Joy." he thanked her.
You just had him say "Thank you," so telling us he thanked her after that is a bit redundant.

We found an unconscious trainer who sported some weird-looking clothes at the site of the energy's signal, and a Pokemon that the Pokedex weren't able to identify."
You want "wasn't" instead of "weren't."

If it was, it would have been in its Pokéball. Worse of all, there's no data or matching records that could tell us who that pokemon is.
You want "worst" here instead of "worse." Though I'm not really sure if describing this as "worse" is appropriate, since the second sentence here doesn't actually have that much to do with the first one. The subject is supposed to be "does this pokémon belong to victor," but the second sentence is asking "what is this thing," which doesn't really make the situation regarding the first question "worse."

"These clothes… they seem to have little fabric in it." Victor remarked as he tugged on the polo shirt collar. "Yet, it feels… comfortable."
I think you want "they" instead of "it" here (and "feels" should become "feel" to match).

There are also quite a few places where you slip into present tense by accident, which I'll just list out right here:
It has a white body and its eyebrows and tail have a shade of green to them.

but soon he would realize that there was more to her than meets the eye.

It is something that he cannot accept.

"N-no…" is all that he could say.

confused at the strange name that she has.

"Honestly, the kiddo makes sense. He had the eyes of a panicked Yamper." his partner said.
This one's weird to me because I think you intentionally chose to have him speak in past tense, but Victor is still pretty panicked right now, so it feels like he should be speaking in present tense.

After thinking about what they both could do to help him, Hop decided that assisting him is the best course of action to take.

Hop chuckled at the last bit, although a part of him agrees with her reasoning.

Penny can't help but roll her eyes at her Professor's obliviousness to his blushing.

Finally, as Ambyssin pointed out, there are a bunch of places all over the fic where you handled dialogue tags wrong, either by having a period instead of a comma, capitalizing when you shouldn't have, both, or sometimes not capitalizing when you should have. Honestly, there are so many that I almost feel like it's inappropriate to point them all out, so I'd just say to follow his advice and look back over the fic with that in mind. Though if you really want me to send you an entire list you can shoot me a PM or something.
There are a few critiques I left out so as to not repeat the words of other reviews. Generally I'd say I agree with them. I don't have any issues with the story, there's just a lot of work to be done on the mechanical side of things. Though I do feel you have potential, as there are genuinely some good bits of prose, characterization, and dialogue in here that I like. I think as long as you keep at it and look for ways to improve and get more comfortable with your writing style, then I don't really feel like I have anything to worry about. So I wish you luck on your writing journey!
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