Pokémon The Foolish Oddish

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, coming around to wrap up a few review triplets that I’d left dangling here and there during the event, though this one was one of my bigger priorities, so let’s just get right into things and see where they go:

Part 3

Spoiler: Line-by-Line

I no longer woke to wait for Elkesiss. There was no one to wait for; I could set out whenever I pleased.

Set out and go where? For a time I went nowhere at all, moving no more than to escape a particularly irritating pokémon or find the odd berry. I mourned for what I hadn't even thought I was giving up--the tentative connections I'd made in the upper floors, almost all chance of seeing my family again. I could climb back there, of course. Turn the wrong way on stairs, reach for the dungeon's origin instead of its exit. But would I?

Ouch. Guess wandering this far down did have repercussions. Though if you have to ask yourself the question, Ragweed…

Who knew how far I'd need to go? Perhaps Elkesiss had been counting floors. I'd long since stopped bothering. And of course, it was all up to the will of the dungeon. Who knew if I'd ever see someone from my childhood ever again? The dungeon took. Perhaps it gave, now and again, but you could be sure it would always take.

That certainly sounds quite a bit less at-peace with this whole concept than Ragweed was back in Part 1. It’s interesting to see how she’s evolved since then.

What would my life have been like if I hadn't followed Elkesiss? Traveling and talking, swapping tales with the ever-changing tableau of people the dungeon presented to me. Perhaps cultivating my own sprouts, who would come to orbit about me, leaving and returning as the dungeon decreed. Perhaps I'd have met someone else, gone on some other adventure. Perhaps I'd have found my own tale to follow. Perhaps I'd have found a floor I liked and never sought to leave at all.

So… basically the same as what you’ve already done, but with more consistently forested surroundings all about you, and a broader but shallower pool of connections.

It was no good crying over time wasted, if that's what it was. No question that I'd found a few good stories along the way. Those were what I lost myself in, in the absence of Elkesiss' voice. Those were what I sought out from the other pokémon living so deep below.

She’s going to rationalize this into continuing to keep going further and further downwards in the pursuit of new stories, huh?

Who doesn't have some story of loss? Florges spoke of flowers, carpets of flowers, whole fields of them. Growing, thriving, turning faces to follow a sun that moved across the sky. Flowers don't last long in this place of ripened fruit and dying leaves. Some gengar remembered beating hearts and the damp of tears and the warmth of blood under skin. I didn't understand half of what they were talking about, but I could hear in their voices the bittersweet of memory. Seviper spoke of an old foe, one they saw yet in swaying grass, in the blood-red of fluttering leaves. Long gone, half remembered, and yet without them the seviper felt adrift, lost without the backwards push of an opponent to tell them which way to go.

Oh, so this is ultimately how Ragweed feels about Elkesiss, even if she’s not being honest with herself just yet, huh? Though interesting spread of Pokémon and the “voids” that they have in their lives.

Sometimes I found myself thinking of the araquanid. The araquanid, who didn't exist. How could she stand against all the gods? She couldn't. Give up, go to ground, abandon the quest that had brought her so much sorrow. Maybe Elkesiss thought that ending unsatisfying, but those were her only sane options. The araquanid had always held too tightly. Now she stared at her treasures and slowly withered away. Letting go was the only thing that could save her.

Or she could just be stubborn and go out with her treasures. I mean, nobody said that you had to end a story on a happy note in order to be satisfying.

I should have taken my own advice. I should have let go of the story, of regret, of wondering how things could be different. What I should have done next was what I'd always done: shaken the dirt off my roots, picked a direction, and set out again.

Instead I lingered. Brooded on the banks of streams, kept the company of granbull, probopass, whoever would have me. I thought too often of the araquanid's great unfinished tale. And I was aware, always, of the flock of bats that roamed the floor, rarely separated for long. They didn't have much time for those not of their kind.

Well that’s certainly different from Elkesiss. Makes me wonder if he was the Zubat equivalent of the “unpopular kid” in the colonies that he hung out in.

It was the dungeon, of course, that brought us together again. I wasn't such a fool that I'd go looking. But I didn't exactly make it difficult for the world to work its magic, either. I did always rise earlier than Elkesiss, and some dozen sleeps after our parting I came upon him hung upside-down from a tree, dozing.

Oh, so they are going to run into each other again in this chapter. I’ll admit that I hadn’t fully expected that one given the note that they parted on.

It was a tree that felt familiar--a configuration of branches that tugged at my subconscious. I studied the twist of them, the snapped-off bough that spoke of some fight, perhaps, or a clumsy landing--a wound that would never heal. Or perhaps that tree had always been like that. It had never been young, after all, never grown. None of the dungeon had.

Fascinating worldbuilding there. Though that makes me wonder if that’s even really a tree there instead of some simulacrum.

Studying the tree is what I was doing instead of being on my way, as I could have done. Should have done. I told myself I was interested in the tree, and then Elkesiss woke up, and then there was little option but to face him.

"It's you!" the golbat squeaked, dropping from his perch in a confused clamor of wingbeats. "Y-you're--are--?" He stayed high overhead, probably fearing an attack. "I-I'll just, I can--" He turned towards a passageway roofed by golden intertwining boughs.

"I've been thinking," I said carefully, "about what would happen next."

"What would happen? What would happen?" Elkesiss circled nervously, looping closer to the exit.

Elkesiss: “So… you’re not mad at me anymore?”

"Yes. How the araquanid would challenge the gods," I went on. "I don't think she would. But... the fallen god offered her followers a place in their world, didn't they? One where the laws of reality were twisted and nothing ever stayed the same.”

[ ]

“The araquanid and her followers couldn't defeat the gods, but they could create a place beyond their reach for those pokémon who wished to seek it. In exchange, the fallen one gained life to fill its realm and a foothold in pantheon's world. And perhaps in time, if enough people ventured into the fallen god's world, there would be such strength there as to challenge the gods the way the araquanid had wished."

Ragweed’s line is long enough that it probably makes sense to divide up it up into smaller paragraphs with something in between them. Though I like how Ragweed’s basically describing the creation of Mystery Dungeons with her ad-libbed ending to her story.

Elkesiss had alighted on another branch, peeking around the side of a tree trunk at me. "Well, I suppose," he said. "I guess, do you--do you really think that's how it happened?"

"I don't know. But it's a good story, isn't it?"

I tried not to smile at Elkesiss' squeaking hiss of consternation. I should have been nervous, really. But I wasn't. Why would he still be here, if he hadn't hoped I'd change my mind?

Ragweed: “Plus with how much of a corner you steered the story into, it was about the best that I could do.” >_>;

"Yes, I... I suppose so," Elkesiss said. Then he abruptly stretched his wings up, hammering them through a few nervous beats. "But why? Why are you here? Why are you telling stories? I thought you'd never want to see me again!"

"So did I," I said. "After all, you did--"

"Sorry!" Elkesiss' outstretched wings slapped back against his body, wrapping tight. "Sorry for lying. Sorry for bringing you all the way down here. And being annoying. And telling made-up stories, and..."

Oh, so implying that Ragweed did want to see him again after all.

I paused for a moment at that. I wasn't sure what to do with an apology. The dungeon usually made them unnecessary. If someone made you angry, it wasn't like you were going to see them again anyway. If you didn't like something, it was easy enough to leave--in time you'd leave whether you wanted to or not. "Thank you," I said at last.

Elkesiss shuffled his feet on his perch, still all tall and narrow with his wings wrapped in tight. "Aren't you angry?"

"I don't know." I had been, certainly. "I wanted to tell you the rest of the story, though."

I mean, didn’t you just come up with an ending to it on your own, there?

"The rest?" Elkesiss unfurled the slightest bit. His gaze was abstracted. "But that wasn't the end, was it?"

"What do you think?"

Elkesiss focused on me again. From the way his mouth hung just barely open I could tell he was making some high-pitched sound. "I think there's a lot more to tell," he finally said.

D’aww. So Ragweed helped Elkesiss past the storytelling equivalent of writer’s block.

"Good," I said. "Why don't we tell it, then? Together, this time. You don't have to come up with everything yourself."

That would certainly be helpful for avoiding those jams like that. Though I suppose that’s a sign that Ragweed wasn’t ready to move on from Elkesiss just yet.

"You want to keep going?" Elkesiss sounded disbelieving. He rubbed his wings together, then stretched them distractedly. "Are you sure? We might never find the bottom, you know. It's like you said. Most people think the dungeon goes on forever."

"Did you make up your stories about the way out, too?" I asked sharply.

"No! No, no, of course not."

Elkesiss: “I… uh… just don’t know for sure that they’re true.” ^^;

"Then let's keep going," I said. "We've come this far, haven't we? Maybe in twenty more floors, or fifty, I'll get tired. But another five floors? Ten? I don't want to stop just yet."

Elkesiss perked up at that. He'd learned, by then, how to smile. "Well, if you're sure. I'm definitely, you know, I'm definitely going on myself!"

I can’t help but notice that Elkesiss wound up repeating himself there a couple times. Almost as if he was psyching himself up or something.

Like there could be any doubt. "Let's get going, then," I said. "Why don't you get started? What do you think happens next?"

That was the question. We set out again in golden sunlight, off to find new answers for ourselves.

That actually makes me wonder just where these two are going to build the story from the point where Ragweed unjammed the narrative. Since I’ll admit that I was initially with Elkesiss in assuming that that’d be the ending there.

Things changed. They always do. No longer did our travels end with Elkesiss' tale-telling. Now we spoke in turns, building a story of the araquanid's life in the fallen god's world. I imagined that she learned to enjoy her safety, to accept the world's changes and find some measure of happiness in the fallen god's dungeon. Elkesiss preferred to imagine that she still ventured forth, back to the pantheon's realm, to lead strikes against them and bring more followers to her new world. And forever we went down and down, towards Elkesiss' fabled way out or towards nothing at all.

We hardly paid attention to the treasures the dungeon showed us along the way. The golden discs were of no use besides being pretty. Berries you ate, fabric you could wear if you fancied, and wands and orbs at least could deter a pursuer. But they were mostly trinkets, diversions. The real treasure was always the stories we found, wisdom that would not dull with time, nourishment that lasted longer than the most perfect apple.

Huh, neat acknowledgement of various MD drops as these two progress along and the way that the dungeon Pokémon react to them. Though I suppose them seeing TMs as useless novelties would explain a thing or two about how they’re just left lying around on the ground.

I never thought I was owed anything by the dungeon, even considering how long I'd wandered. Plenty of oddish never found what they needed to make their second change. My parents had prepared me for that. They'd always said that not being granted such treasure was no judgement, that the world was fickle and would bless you, or not, through no fault of your own.

So I wasn't prepared to find a real treasure lying in a clearing just like any other, half buried in leaf litter, a little muddy on one side. It looked like nothing more than a particularly robust rock for tossing at annoying dustox. But when I drew near a restless energy seized me, the poison thickening in my flower, honey dribbling uncontrollably from my lips. I could feel the change struggling to take me, willing me closer.

Oh, it’s one of those evolutionary stones, isn’t it? Though I wonder if Leaf or Sun there.

"What is it?" Elkesiss asked. "Is there a trap?"

"No. It's a leaf stone."

Well, that was a fast answer there.

Elkesiss let out a jagged screech of excitement. "That makes gloom change, doesn't it? You're going to be a vileplume?"

I stared at the flat gray rock, a warm ball of energy pulsing in my chest, urging me forward. "No," I said. "Maybe someday, but not now."

"But--!"

"Vileplume's flowers are too heavy to carry for long. They have to spend most of their time rooted. It's not a change you want to make unless you're ready to stay right where you are."

Ah, so it’s a bit of a big deal. Which I assume is going to wind up happening in this chapter at some point given that we just plopped this in front of Ragweed there.

Elkesiss was about to say something again, his face contorted into a crooked grimace. I bustled on ahead. "It's okay. If I'm meant to change, the dungeon will send me another. That's the way of things."

"But we could bring it with us!" Elkesiss protested.

"Better to let it go," I said. "Did you forget the story of the foolish oddish? I can't even hold that without changing."

Huh, so Pokémon are really sensitive to evolutionary stones in this story. Though I suppose it’s not without precedent considering that one anime episode involving the feuding Vileplume and Sunflora.

Elkesiss squeaked in exasperation and dove, seizing the leaf stone with his feet. It took heavy wingbeats to bring him back to hovering, but he made it, and I probably wouldn't even have noticed the labor in his flapping if I wasn't so familiar with its sound.

"Did the foolish oddish have a friend to carry her treasure for her?" he asked smugly.

[ ]
"It's no good. It'll probably get stolen or turned into an apple. That's a lot of work for nothing."

Elkesiss’ line IMO felt like one that ought to have been split off into its own paragraph. A part of me also wonders whether or not it’d have made sense to show Ragweed’s inner thought process off a bit here, especially if she briefly considers the idea but decides against.

"I know how you are about being afraid to hold onto things you want," Elkesiss said. "Let this be my foolishness, then, okay?"

I knew I'd have no luck arguing him out of it. Sometimes people had to learn for themselves. "All right," I said, and Elkesiss let out a thin, reedy squeal of pleasure.

I didn't comment on how much slower he was flying with the stone between his feet; it would do no good. I gave it no more than three sleeps before a ghost stole the stone or it got lost in the middle of a fight, but Elkesiss seemed too pleased with himself to disabuse.

I can already tell that this is going to wind up becoming important in the very near future.

"We should come up with a new story," he said, "about the adventurers who found the way out of the dungeon. We could call it 'The Smart Oddish.'"

So… is that what the title of a hypothetical sequel would be? /s

"I don't know. It doesn't really have the same ring to it, does it?" I smiled. "Besides, aren't you forgetting someone?"

Elkesiss squeaked, happily, and I smiled, and together we set out again, only a little slower than before.

D’aww, how-

- looks up at tags -

… Okay, so just what’s going to wind up going wrong here?

So it went: walking on past tree and bush and stream, all familiar, all brand new. Exchanging stories with whatever pokémon crossed our path. All of them had something to say about Elkesiss' stone, which he still carried, determined to prove a point. Eventually we would come upon a set of stairs and follow them down, always down.

Twice the dungeon separated us: once when a skuntank chased me down a bush-lined corridor; when I dared turn around, I found nothing but tree trunks crowding at my back. The second time, neither I nor Elkesiss ever figured out what happened, knew only that when we woke, we were separated, clear across the floor from one another for no reason at all. Both times we found each other again. It turned out everyone was excited to tell me they'd seen a golbat carrying a leaf stone, whether I asked them about it or not.

Wow, Elkesiss really is a determined one to hold onto the Leaf Stone through all of that there.

We carried on, down and down and down, and I began to forget my lessons. I began to think that life might continue like this forever; rising from sleep and traveling until my legs could carry me no further, then resting and spinning stories with Elkesiss before falling into sleep again. Each day familiar, each day brand new. I began to think that perhaps not everything had to change, that not everyone would leave. I could hold my treasure forever, and not perish; I could live without sacrifice, without letting go.

The staircase looked like any other. I took it without thinking, the gentle flutter of Elkesiss' wings following behind.

… Oh, they’re about to get separated again, huh? :<

But at the bottom of these stairs, it was dark, as dark as though I'd closed my eyes. Except that I could still see, and see more than I wanted. Strange mounds like sleeping pokémon, eerily straight-edged and regular. Overhead, stone. No sun, no trees. The air was moist and tasted of earth but not of leaves, not of sunlight or of stream.

… Wait, are those graves, or…? .-.

Elkesiss' hissing intake of breath made me flinch. I could only tell he was speaking by the way his mouth moved.

"We made it!" he squeaked, still terribly high-pitched, maybe when he realized I hadn't caught anything he'd said. "It's the end of the dungeon. Look! The way out!"

Oh, let’s see what that looks like since this is our big reveal:

He had to mean the shaft of light spilling onto the far end of the strangely tiny floor. It was a cold kind of light, no proper gold in it. Nothing of the sun.

Elkesiss crossed the floor in an excited hammer of wingbeats, and my acid stirred warningly as one wing flashed through that strange spot of light. "Wait!" I said, and he turned back, still perilously close to what had to be danger. A way out, yes; if light was coming through, there must be a passage there. To the world outside? To someplace different. To someplace very strange.

"Are you scared?" Elkesiss asked. "It'll be all right. We're both strong now. We're going to see the world outside. Just imagine the kinds of stories they must tell out there." He laughed, chirring and light. "Think about the stories they must tell about the dungeon!"

This is going to wind up doing something like leaving them trapped out there, huh?

I tried to think. I felt entombed, dead and rotting in the earth like a seed that had never quickened. "I am... scared." The stairs led up behind me. I could feel chill damp against my face. At my back was warmth and a faint golden glow.

Elkesiss set down the leaf stone and flew back over. "It's okay if you want to wait. If it would help, we can talk about all the great things we'll find outside the dungeon."

"The gods," I muttered.

Ah. Yeah, I suppose you two did spend an entire short fic going on and on about a story where they were capricious and were prone to peacing entire populations of Pokémon at a time.

"Well, them, too," Elkesiss said, sounding a bit put out.

"No, that's not what I meant," I said, looking up the stairs again. "What I meant was... I don't want to leave."

[ ]
"What?! But we've been looking for a way out this whole time!"

It might make sense to show off a bit more of Elkesiss’ reaction here. Though yeah, taking a leap of faith into the great unknown does sound like it’d be scary.

"You've been looking for a way out. I came along because I wanted to hear a story, remember?"

"But..." Elkesiss sounded lost. Which is how I felt, too.

I hadn't thought we'd find the end of the dungeon. Hadn't even considered the possibility, not for a long time. But I was sure, when Elkesiss asked whether I didn't want to see nighttime, summer, the mountains and the rain and all the pokémon living outside the dungeon, that the answer was "no."

Oh. So this is the part where they’re going to split up for real, huh?

"I'm sorry," I said into Elkesiss' open-mouthed whine. "It's time for me to change." I gazed at the leaf stone lying on the ground, the ground that wasn't real ground but was stone instead. "I won't be able to follow you."

And I was sorry. I knew how badly Elkesiss wanted to do this. He'd been waiting his whole life. But the world had been telling me something, not so long ago. It was only now that I realized it. I wasn't meant to wander forever. I was meant to stay here, in the place I knew so well and which would never stop showing me new sides of itself, the world in infinite variation.

"But--but--!" Elkesiss stammered and screeched, holding a loud argument with himself. "We were both supposed to go! Together! I can't by myself. I can't..."

"You can," I said. "You're strong. You just said."

"Not alone, I'm--" Elkesiss flapped himself into a tizzy, unfocused energy pulling the deathly air into unquiet eddies. I looked again at the strange shaft of light, trying to will myself towards it. But acid fumed in my flower, and my skin was numb with cold. No. I couldn't. I was sure I couldn't.

Oh, so that’s why Elkesiss has stuck with Ragweed all this time.

"I don't want to go alone! We were--I don't want to go without you!"

The air flashed hot, and I shielded my face. I could see the light through my closed lids, even through my arms. When it cleared Elkesiss sat quietly on the floor for a while, staring dumbly at his long, slender wings. Purple wings. "Oh," he said.

Oh, so Elkesiss is now a Crobat. I’ll admit that I wasn’t expecting that one, but I guess his happiness stat would’ve gone up considerably from constantly chumming it up with Ragweed.

I smiled, and it was only a little sad. "You're strong enough. And you said it yourself--there are more pokémon out there. You love making new friends. You won't be alone."

Elkesiss tested his new wings, the second set stuttering at first, beating out of sync. "There will be other pokémon out there, but you won't be," he pointed out.

"That's true. But who's to say you won't come back to the dungeon someday? You've found me often enough before, haven't you?"

Even if it’s still that this is likely the end of their friendship for the foreseeable future.

Elkesiss shifted on his newly-tiny feet, folding and unfolding both sets of wings. He must have wanted to say something. And I could have asked then. I could have asked, but I didn't. I could tell he'd already made up his mind.

Elkesiss was quiet a while longer before letting out a weak and fluttering laugh. "Isn't it strange? The more a zubat grows, the farther he can travel. The more an oddish grows, the less she can even move."

Well that’s some bitter irony there.

"It is strange. We're different creatures. But we can share the same stories."

"I suppose that's true." Elkesiss took to the air. He was so much faster now. New wings and no more stone to carry. "Are you going to take the leaf stone, then? I want to see you change before I go."

"All right."

I'd felt it for months now, the itching crawl of energy whenever Elkesiss brought the stone near. Approaching it where it lay on the floor, it felt like ants were marching through my veins and eating their way out through my skin. I wouldn't deny the change any longer. I reached down to touch the leaf stone, and light bloomed from within for the second and final time.

Oh, so this setting has vanilla bugs and/or animals in general. Duly noted. And Ragweed’s just going to be camping in and around the end of the Mystery Dungeon from here on out, huh?

Most of what I noticed was the heaviness. My vision was cut off at the top, something huge and red hanging in the way. I reached up and struggled to push it aside. It was heavy, so heavy, but I had to move it or I wouldn't be able to see Elkesiss' smile.

"Look at you!" the crobat squeaked, his voice gone reedy with delight. "Look at both of us. We really did it, didn't we?"

"We did," I said. "And we've got a lot to do yet. Goodbye, Elkesiss. May the world give more than it takes and bring us together once more."

I… I just have something in my eye right now.

"Goodbye, Ragweed," Elkesiss said. "Thank you for everything."

I didn't want to turn away. I wanted to watch him leave. At the least I wanted to watch long enough to be sure he was safe. But he clearly wanted to watch me go, too.

At last I turned back towards the stairs, taking one step at a time. This was the last set of stairs I'd ever climb. I could afford to take my time with them.

You’re hitting me right in the feels right now, you know that?

Behind me sounded the faint drum of wingbeats, moving away. Elkesiss was much quieter now that he'd changed. After a second I couldn't hear anything, not even when I stopped and strained to listen.

So I went back to climbing, slowly. One step at a time. One step at a time back into glowing sunlight, into flaming leaves and grass browning but never quite dead, into fields split by glistening, murmuring streams. The home that was never the same twice. The only home I'd ever known.

That's how you come to find me here, traveler, in the dungeon's farthest depths. Not many pass this way, but those who do are always full of stories. I am now, too. This is what I leave you with, traveler: the story of the foolish oddish, the one who let her treasure slip through her fingers, thinking that the only way she could hold the world was to hold on to nothing at all.

Oh, so Ragweed regrets not going with Elkesiss all this time later. Or at least I think that’s the implication there.

Alright, made it to the end. I’ll admit, the ending wasn’t quite as gutting as what I was expecting from the tags, but it still made me a bit misty-eyed. It felt like a decent encapsulation of the general motif of the dungeon giving and taking away that had been reiterated over and over again in this story, and how in the end at the moment of truth, for all their affinity with each other, Ragweed and Elkesiss find themselves separated by the dungeon one last time as Ragweed just can’t bring herself to leave it behind. Once again, the worldbuilding and especially the characterization were on point, which makes the ending note both believable and bittersweet.

I don’t really have all that much to level as criticisms for this chapter. There were a couple paragraphs that I thought were long enough to the point of being unwieldy and a couple spots that I thought had room for expansion, but otherwise this was a very polished piece and shows a lot of love and care put into it.

Great work, @Negrek . And thanks for taking the time to write this story. ^^