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Pokémon Testimony

1:36 PM
Location
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Pronouns
she/her
Testimony

Summary: As two humans-turned-Pokémon travel through Murky Cave, there's much to talk about. Gengar in particular has a lot on his mind, and as the day goes on, he begins to voice things that have been left unsaid for years. This is his side of the conversation. (A set of very brief chapters consisting solely of dialogue from Gengar.)

Warnings: Discussion of death later on (Gengar is a ghost, and Gardevoir is a spirit), but it's not graphic and it happened years ago; the word "crap" is used a few times



…My name?

Don’t give me that crap. You already know my name. I’m Gengar. G-E-N-G-A-R, got it?

Sure, I was called something else back when I was a human, but that’s all over now. I’ve been Gengar for years. And you heard what Ninetales said, didn’t you? Come on, I know you’re not deaf. I can’t go back to the way I was. I can’t become a human again. I don’t have the choice that they gave you. After all, I’m already dead.

I don’t get it. You could’ve gone back to the human world, and yet you stayed in this one. Don’t you have family in the human world? Friends? People waiting for you, people who’d be sad if you never came back? Do you really like being a Delcatty so much that you’d just up and abandon them?

If I had a chance to go back, I’d take it. I wouldn’t even hesitate, because unlike you, I think things through.

…I’m sick of being a ghost.

Whatever. It’s not that bad. I can float, I can walk through walls, I can even hide in your shadow. How’d you think I followed you up to Xatu?
Don’t believe me? Watch!



Ta-da! Cool, right?

Right?

Oh, forget it. You’re just jealous, because you’re a boring ol’ normal-type.

Let’s keep moving. I want to be out of this cave before the sun goes down.
 
2:41 PM
Location
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Pronouns
she/her
…Adam.

That’s my name. Well, it was my name. Nobody’s called me that in a long time. In fact, I don’t think I’ve even heard anyone say the name Adam in all the years I’ve been in this stupid world. Adam’s not a Pokémon name, after all. It’s kinda weird to say it now. Like, it feels unfamiliar rolling off my tongue.

You know what? You can call me Adam if you like. Just not in public.

This doesn’t make us friends or anything, okay? It’s just because we’re both humans. Nobody else is allowed to call me anything but Gengar, unless they knew me as a human.

Gardevoir… She can call me Adam whenever she wants, if we even manage to…

Don’t look at me like that. It doesn’t matter. This whole “rescue mission” or whatever you want to call it is just a whim. I don’t have anything better to do.

That’s your fault, you know. Ever since you came back from your exile and accused me of slander, nobody in town has wanted anything to do with me. They just glare at me or look past me like I’m not even there. And the team broke up, so —

My fault? As if! Look, I don’t care if you were sent to this world to save it. You must’ve done something really terrible for them to send you here. Saving the world was probably the least you could do to redeem yourself.

Good people don’t wind up here. Period.

Anyway, where was I before you decided to butt in?

That’s right. The team broke up, and judging by the look on your face, you had no idea, because you never have a clue. Really, it was Medicham and Arbok who broke up. They weren’t doing so well after the whole Wish Cave incident. Medicham resented Arbok for escaping without her, and she managed to hold it in for a while, but it started to leak through eventually. She started making all these passive-aggressive remarks. Arbok ignored them at first, but before long, he snapped and started calling Medicham out for all the crap she’d gotten away with. They started getting into these screaming matches, and it honestly sucked to be around them. They always asked me to pick a side, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Don’t let either of them fool you: they’re both equally bad.

So, uh, yeah. The team broke up, and Arbok left town. I think he went off to the Grass Continent, actually. To be honest, I’m planning to leave town as well, once we finish up here.

Yeah, I’ll leave right away. I can move faster at night, and I don’t have much to pack. I think I’ll move to Baram Town. It seems…okay.

Ugh, why am I even telling you all this? Just shut up and walk.
 
3:59 PM
Location
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Pronouns
she/her
Ninetales can call me Adam, I guess. I mean, she doesn’t really want or need my permission.

Stop looking at me like that.

Okay, yeah, I should’ve asked permission before pulling her tails. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. But you weren’t there. You don’t get it.

I was a human, she was a Pokémon. You know how it is in the human world. Humans can’t just have full conversations with Pokémon.

Yeah, we were both in the human world at that point. Did you just realize that now? How stupid can you be?

Basically, Ninetales can travel between the two worlds at will. In this world, she’s a Kantonian Ninetales, and she lives on Mt. Freeze, but in the human world, she’s an Alolan Ninetales, and she lives on Mt. Lanakila. She changes forms the moment she switches worlds.

Yes, I’m from Alola. And you’re from Hoenn, right?

I haven’t really been able to talk about the human world in years. I always have to pretend like I know nothing about it. I guess we could talk about it. If you really want to, I mean. We’re not friends or anything — I don’t even like you — but if you insist

My hometown is Malie. You’ve heard about it, right? It’s full of immigrants from Johto, so the architecture has an Eastern bent. It’s kinda like Ecruteak, but more of a tourist trap. Seriously, Alola’s been one big tourist trap for decades. People come, visit the beaches, eat malasadas, wear leis, go to luaus, and bask in what they call traditional Alolan culture — really just a commercialized version of stuff we did maybe a few centuries ago. And then they leave, having learned absolutely nothing. My dad would always rant about the damage they were doing to the environment, the economy, but I didn’t really understand what he was saying. Maybe I’d have understood if I had ever gone to another region, but I died before anything like that could happen.

Oh, you did not just ask me how I died. Don’t you realize how personal that is? How rude it is to just ask out of nowhere? You clearly know nothing about ghost culture.

All this talking is slowing us down. We have to keep going.
 
4:23 PM
Location
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Pronouns
she/her
Were you a trainer? I was a trainer, of course. I mean, in Alola, you can’t get a license until you’re at least ten, but it’s perfectly legal to be given a Pokémon by someone else before then, or to battle casually. You just can’t buy balls, take the island challenge, or battle for money.

Is Hoenn like that too? I mean, you don’t have an island challenge, but you have the gym leaders, right?



Yeah, that makes sense.

I was a prodigy, you know. I was incredible. I mean, I was just okay at academics and athletics and stuff, but in terms of battling, I was the best in my whole school — and it wasn’t exactly a small school, either.

What are you giving me that look for? Do you seriously not believe me?

Look, just because I was good at training Pokémon and coming up with battle strategies on the fly, that doesn’t automatically make me good at actually fighting as a Pokémon. It’s a lot harder to think up strategies while you’re getting pounded. That’s why trainers and Pokémon work so well together. The trainer thinks, the Pokémon fights. It’s a partnership. But I guess you already knew that.

What sort of Pokémon did you use?

Don’t you think they miss you? To them, it’s like you were there one day, and then you just…

…abandoned them.



I had Gardevoir for almost six years. I first got her when I was maybe four-and-a-half, and she was just an egg. One of my neighbors, a grumpy old man, was a breeder. Not an officially recognized breeder; he was one of those backyard breeders trying to make a quick buck. He had a Gardevoir and a Gallade, and so he always had a steady stream of Ralts eggs to sell. The eggs were usually overpriced, but one fateful day, he gave me a discount on a certain egg. It wasn’t out of the goodness of his heart, or because he liked me — he just thought the egg wouldn’t hatch, since it was a bit cracked. Even then, I had to give him all of the allowance I’d been saving. He probably thought I was just a gullible kid, but I knew what was going on. I also knew that he was wrong about the egg. From the moment I first held it, I could feel that something was alive inside.

I don’t really know how to describe it. I just knew that the egg would hatch, and that I needed to have it. Perhaps Gardevoir was already calling out to me, even then…

My dad didn’t think the egg would hatch. He wanted to go make the neighbor give me a full refund, but I convinced him to wait two weeks, and eight days later, the egg hatched. You ever heard the phrase eating Murkrow? It’s about having to swallow your pride and admit that you were wrong. Suffice to say both my dad and my neighbor ate Murkrow that day.

From the moment the egg hatched, Gardevoir — well, she was Ralts back then — and I were inseparable. We would play together, explore together, even take notes on every battle we watched. I mean, Ralts’s “notes” were just scribbles, but I was little, so mine weren’t that much better.

It wasn’t long before we started battling. When I started kindergarten, I’d bring Ralts with me — Pokémon were allowed at school as long as they stayed in their balls during class — and every recess, we would battle all the other kids who brought their Pokémon. We had these unofficial tournaments and everything.

I struggled a bit — just a bit — at first, but then it was like something clicked in my brain, and then everything became clear to me. I beat all the wannabe trainers in my class, and then the ones in the other kindergarten classes, too. After a while, they stopped wanting to battle me, because they knew they’d lose.

Okay, okay, maybe I was getting a little cocky. Just a bit.

I wasn’t really bothered, though. I just went and started battling the first graders instead. Things went on like that until, by the time I was done with third grade, everyone knew I was the best trainer-to-be at Garden Heights Elementary.

My parents were proud, my teachers were proud, even my neighbors — yes, including the backyard breeder — were proud. Everyone fed me praise, telling me that I was a prodigy, a battling genius. They encouraged me to take the island challenge right after I turned ten. They said that if I continued growing at my then-current rate, I could become a Trial Captain, or even be chosen as a Kahuna.

And I believed them. Of course I did. Twice the pride, double the fall.

Oh, Ralts? She was a Kirlia by then.

Yeah, I guess they should’ve praised her just as much as they praised me. We were partners, after all. I…

Wait. You’re just trying to get me to say some sappy crap, aren’t you?

Well, you won’t get anything like that from me, so shut up and walk.
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. growlithe
  6. quilava-fobbie
  7. sneasel-kate
  8. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, swinging by for some light reading as part of the tail end of my Christmas Day when I noticed this piece, though a fic consisting of one-sided dialogue from Gengar? I’m not fully sure what that’s going to look like or if the premise really sounds workable to me, but eh. I’ll give it a shot.

1:36 PM

…My name?

Don’t give me that crap. You already know my name. I’m Gengar. G-E-N-G-A-R, got it?

Narrator: “It’s not just ‘Gengar’ and everyone knows it.”

Sure, I was called something else back when I was a human, but that’s all over now. I’ve been Gengar for years. And you heard what Ninetales said, didn’t you? Come on, I know you’re not deaf. I can’t go back to the way I was. I can’t become a human again. I don’t have the choice that they gave you. After all, I’m already dead.

Well, there’s our first content warning there. Though I suppose that’s a sign that Ninetales was awfully pissed over the whole tail yank thing. Either that or Gengar passed on from whatever his original body was and came back as a Gengar, but it’s an interesting contrast between him and the protagonist.

I don’t get it. You could’ve gone back to the human world, and yet you stayed in this one. Don’t you have family in the human world? Friends? People waiting for you, people who’d be sad if you never came back? Do you really like being a Delcatty so much that you’d just up and abandon them?

hes-right-you-know-morgan-freeman.png


Since that’s one of those things about the canonical game setup that gets a bit
401074476474957834.webp
when you stop and think about it unless if you go the route of assuming that the protagonists had no meaningful others in their lives when they were brought over or else underwent a reincarnation isekai.

Though I guess that that confirms that the protagonist of this world was a Skitty. Duly noted.

If I had a chance to go back, I’d take it. I wouldn’t even hesitate, because unlike you, I think things through.

Lol. Lmao. Yeah, okay buddy. I remember the sort of decision-making you had through the entire pursuit arc onwards in RBDX.

…I’m sick of being a ghost.

Whatever. It’s not that bad. I can float, I can walk through walls, I can even hide in your shadow. How’d you think I followed you up to Xatu?

Don’t believe me? Watch!

You have a newline error for your last paragraph there. Though I take it that Gengar didn’t intend for that first line of his to be overheard given how quickly he about-faces in the paragraph right afterwards. It might make sense to make it a little more obvious from his dialogue if that’s indeed what you intended to have happened.



Ta-da! Cool, right?

Right?

Oh, forget it. You’re just jealous, because you’re a boring ol’ normal-type.

I’ll take it that the protagonist had a very [hisssss] reaction to the whole “hiding in your shadow” thing from that shift in dialogue.

Let’s keep moving. I want to be out of this cave before the sun goes down.

I mean, based off the timestamps in this fic, Gengar will probably get his wish, at least? ^^;

2:41 PM

…Adam.

That’s my name. Well, it was my name. Nobody’s called me that in a long time. In fact, I don’t think I’ve even heard anyone say the name Adam in all the years I’ve been in this stupid world. Adam’s not a Pokémon name, after all. It’s kinda weird to say it now. Like, it feels unfamiliar rolling off my tongue.

Oh, so there’s Gengar’s proper name. I’d say that it’s a cute thematic thing as the first human-turned-Pokémon, but that technically wouldn’t be correct as revealed later on in Super.

You know what? You can call me Adam if you like. Just not in public.

It might make sense to have inner quotes around Gengar’s name here since he’s saying “you can use this word” to the protagonist.

This doesn’t make us friends or anything, okay? It’s just because we’re both humans. Nobody else is allowed to call me anything but Gengar, unless they knew me as a human.

Ninetales: “Ahem.
Gengar Adam: “And except you, too! Seriously, why are you even here right now?!” O_O;

Gardevoir… She can call me Adam whenever she wants, if we even manage to…

Oh. Oh. So this is set during that postgame mission of RBDX. I mean, yeah, that would definitely be a pretty believable backdrop for this conversation to happen here. I do wonder if it could’ve been hinted at a bit stronger up to this point, though.

Don’t look at me like that. It doesn’t matter. This whole “rescue mission” or whatever you want to call it is just something I’m doing on a whim. I don’t have anything better to do.

Small suggestion for a tweak to Gengar/Adam’s dialogue there.

That’s your fault, you know. Ever since you came back from your exile and accused me of slander, nobody in town has wanted anything to do with me. They just glare at me or look past me like I’m not even there. And the team broke up, so —

648431671401644032.webp


Wow, Adam. Just wow.

My fault? As if! Look, I don’t care if you were sent to this world to save it. You must’ve done something really terrible for them to send you here. Saving the world was probably the least you could do to redeem yourself.

Good people don’t wind up here. Period.

No, more like you’re the freak aberration to the norm from what we see in the rest of the series. Not that Adam would really know about that at the moment when he hasn’t exactly run into a ton of other humans in this world.

I suppose it would explain a thing or two about why everyone just reflexively turned on Delcatty once they found out s/he was human, though.

Anyway, where was I before you decided to butt in?

That’s right. The team broke up, and judging by the look on your face, you had no idea, because you never have a clue. Really, it was Medicham and Arbok who broke up. They weren’t doing so well after the whole Wish Cave incident. Medicham resented Arbok for escaping without her, and she managed to hold it in for a while, but it started to leak through eventually. She started making all these passive-aggressive remarks. Arbok ignored them at first, but before long, he snapped and started calling Medicham out for all the crap she’d gotten away with. They started getting into these screaming matches, and it honestly sucked to be around them. They always asked me to pick a side, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Don’t let either of them fool you: they’re both equally bad.

I feel like this second paragraph is a bit too long and unwieldy since that’s a lot for Gengar to be saying in one breath there. I’m admittedly at a bit of a loss for what to suggest for places to break them up.

So, uh, yeah. The team broke up, and Arbok left town. I think he went off to the Grass Continent, actually. To be honest, I’m planning to leave town as well, once we finish up here.

Huh, so you went with the take that Ekans from Team Meanies is one and the same as Arbok from Team AWD. I suppose it’s not the first time I’ve heard of takes where Team Meanies’ members drifted off into other teams, but duly noted.

Yeah, I’ll leave right away. I can move faster at night, and I don’t have much to pack. I think I’ll move to Baram Town. It seems…okay.

Ugh, why am I even telling you all this? Just shut up and walk.

Huh. I actually completely forgot that the Gengar on the Connection Orb from Super was in Baram Town. Cute tie-in there.

3:59 PM

Ninetales can call me Adam, I guess. I mean, she doesn’t really want or need my permission.

Oh, well. Nevermind then. I was wrong as to how Adam would react to Ninetales addressing him by name.

Stop looking at me like that.

Okay, yeah, I should’ve asked permission before pulling her tails. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. But you weren’t there. You don’t get it.

Delcatty:
992880313871126549.webp

Adam: “Look, it wasn’t that simple, okay?!” >.<

I was a human, she was a Pokémon. You know how it is in the human world. Humans can’t just have full conversations with Pokémon.

Yeah, we were both in the human world at that point. Did you just realize that now? How stupid can you be?

Or, you could just not have pull Ninetales’ tails given the ample amount of warnings of folklore that were lying around as to why you should not do such a thing.

Basically, Ninetales can travel between the two worlds at will. In this world, she’s a Kantonian Ninetales, and she lives on Mt. Freeze, but in the human world, she’s an Alolan Ninetales, and she lives on Mt. Lanakila. She changes forms the moment she switches worlds.

… Huh. That’s a neat tie-in there, and it definitely makes a few things about the canonical depiction of Gengar’s encounter with Ninetales in media like the manga easier to reconcile. Even if I have to wonder where you got the idea for this from.

Yes, I’m from Alola. And you’re from Hoenn, right?

I haven’t really been able to talk about the human world in years. I always have to pretend like I know nothing about it. I guess we could talk about it. If you really want to, I mean. We’re not friends or anything — I don’t even like you — but if you insist

Huh. I wasn’t expecting that. But I suppose that if the whole Tuggening happened in the human world, that Gengar would have to have not gotten amnesia ray’d over what his life back there was like.

My hometown is Malie. You’ve heard about it, right? It’s full of immigrants from Johto, so the architecture has an Eastern bent. It’s kinda like Ecruteak, but more of a tourist trap. Seriously, Alola’s been one big tourist trap for decades. People come, visit the beaches, eat malasadas, wear leis, go to luaus, and bask in what they call traditional Alolan culture — really just a commercialized version of stuff we did maybe a few centuries ago. And then they leave, having learned absolutely nothing.

My dad would always rant about the damage they were doing to the environment, the economy, but I didn’t really understand what he was saying. Maybe I’d have understood if I had ever gone to another region, but I died before anything like that could happen.

Adam’s dialogue here is once again chunky enough that you probably want to divide it up. This time, I did have a concrete splitting place in mind to suggest, so I present it to you for your consideration.

Oh, you did not just ask me how I died. Don’t you realize how personal that is? How rude it is to just ask out of nowhere? You clearly know nothing about ghost culture.

All this talking is slowing us down. We have to keep going.

Yeah, I’m not convinced that you’re getting out of this so easily, Adam. Since I can see that final update after this.

4:23 PM

Were you a trainer? I was a trainer, of course. I mean, in Alola, you can’t get a license until you’re at least ten, but it’s perfectly legal to be given a Pokémon by someone else before then, or to battle casually. You just can’t buy balls, take the island challenge, or battle for money.

Is Hoenn like that too? I mean, you don’t have an island challenge, but you have the gym leaders, right?



[ ] Yeah, that makes sense.

IMO, it probably would make sense to give a bit more of a hint as to what Delcatty’s answer was in reply in Adam’s dialogue.

I was a prodigy, you know. I was incredible. I mean, I was just okay at academics and athletics and stuff, but in terms of battling, I was the best in my whole school — and it wasn’t exactly a small school, either.

What are you giving me that look for? Do you seriously not believe me?

Delcatty: “No, I don’t. Because there’s no way an actual prodigy would be stupid enough to pull a Ninetales’ tail.” >_>;

Look, just because I was good at training Pokémon and coming up with battle strategies on the fly, that doesn’t automatically make me good at actually fighting as a Pokémon. It’s a lot harder to think up strategies while you’re getting pounded. That’s why trainers and Pokémon work so well together. The trainer thinks, the Pokémon fights. It’s a partnership. But I guess you already knew that.

I’m beginning to see how this guy just bailed on Gardevoir and left her to her fate, just saying.

What sort of Pokémon did you use?

Don’t you think they miss you? To them, it’s like you were there one day, and then you just…

…abandoned them.

I’d trot out Morgan Freeman again, since… yeah. Like there’s technically the possibility of the Gates’ protagonist being able to help rectify things since the way s/he comes back in the postgame can very easily be interpreted as being bidirectional, but yeah.



I had Gardevoir for almost six years. I first got her when I was maybe four-and-a-half, and she was just an egg. One of my neighbors, a grumpy old man, was a breeder. Not an officially recognized breeder; he was one of those backyard breeders trying to make a quick buck. He had a Gardevoir and a Gallade, and so he always had a steady stream of Ralts eggs to sell.

The eggs were usually overpriced, but one fateful day, he gave me a discount on a certain egg. It wasn’t out of the goodness of his heart, or because he liked me — he just thought the egg wouldn’t hatch, since it was a bit cracked. Even then, I had to give him all of the allowance I’d been saving.

He probably thought I was just a gullible kid, but I knew what was going on. I also knew that he was wrong about the egg. From the moment I first held it, I could feel that something was alive inside.

Another spot where it probably makes sense to hack up Adam’s dialogue into multiple parts, since that is a lot of words in one go.

Also, :copyka: at Gardevoir having that background. She really did draw the short stick with the humans in her life, huh?

I don’t really know how to describe it. I just knew that the egg would hatch, and that I needed to have it. Perhaps Gardevoir was already calling out to me, even then…

My dad didn’t think the egg would hatch. He wanted to go make the neighbor give me a full refund, but I convinced him to wait two weeks, and eight days later, the egg hatched. You ever heard the phrase eating Murkrow? It’s about having to swallow your pride and admit that you were wrong. Suffice to say both my dad and my neighbor ate Murkrow that day.

Why do I get the impression that Adam paid up for the egg because “I wanna cool psychic green person and be the coolest person in school” as opposed to some sort of more noble motivation there?

From the moment the egg hatched, Gardevoir — well, she was Ralts back then — and I were inseparable. We would play together, explore together, even take notes on every battle we watched. I mean, Ralts “notes” were just scribbles, but I was little, so mine weren’t that much better.

It wasn’t long before we started battling. When I started kindergarten, I’d bring Ralts with me — Pokémon were allowed at school as long as they stayed in their balls during class — and every recess, we would battle all the other kids who brought their Pokémon. We had these unofficial tournaments and everything.

I struggled a bit — just a bit — at first, but then it was like something clicked in my brain, and then everything became clear to me. I beat all the wannabe trainers in my class, and then the ones in the other kindergarten classes, too. After a while, they stopped wanting to battle me, because they knew they’d lose.

That sounds more like Ralts did all the hard work for you, just saying. Since I’m not convinced you were anywhere near as close as you’re implying if you just abandoned the-Ralts-that-became-Gardevoir to her fate a mere six years later.

Okay, okay, maybe I was getting a little cocky. Just a bit.

Delcatty: “A bit?
916590116670144542.webp

Adam: “Okay, fine. A lot. Can we move on already?” >_>;

I wasn’t really bothered, though. I just went and started battling the first graders instead. Things went on like that until, by the time I was done with third grade, everyone knew I was the best trainer-to-be at Garden Heights Elementary.

My parents were proud, my teachers were proud, even my neighbors — yes, including the backyard breeder — were proud. Everyone fed me praise, telling me that I was a prodigy, a battling genius. They encouraged me to take the island challenge right after I turned ten. They said that if I continued growing at my then-current rate, I could become a Trial Captain, or even be chosen as a Kahuna.

And I believed them. Of course I did. Twice the pride, double the fall.

And yet you were still dumb enough to fall for one of the easiest “don’t do this” pieces of folk wisdom in your world. So excuse me if I’m [sceptikarp]-ing a bit at this claim, Adam.

Oh, Ralts? She was a Kirlia by then.

Yeah, I guess they should’ve praised her just as much as they praised me. We were partners, after all. I…

See, I knew that that relationship wasn’t as good as Adam was making it seem.

Wait. You’re just trying to get me to say some sappy crap, aren’t you?

Well, you won’t get anything like that from me, so shut up and walk.

Huh. That’s the end of your published material? I take it that you had a few other pieces that were intended to bridge the gap up to the big moment where Gardevoir gets revived, but I suppose that’ll be a story for another day.

Alright, time for that customary recap that I usually throw in for my reviews in case parsing through line-by-lines isn’t your jam. I’ll admit, I was skeptical, but the format you rolled with here actually works surprisingly well. Like it requires understanding the gist of where and how this happens canonically for context, but it actually feels decently believable that this would be Gengar’s side of a conversation between him and the protagonist during the Murky Cave mission. I also felt that the short length was a positive for the story format you rolled, since keeps the chapters nice and approachable without making Gengar’s one-sided convos feel like they’re dragging on. I felt you had a bit more room to play around with, especially in the first and third installments, but what was there was pretty decent.

That said, there were a couple things that I felt held your story thus far a bit. The first major thing that stood out was that there were multiple points in your story where I found myself wishing that you gave firmer hints about where the characters are and what’s going on. Like you give in the preamble that this is set in Murky Cave during the postgame mission to revive Gardevoir, but the entire dungeon is basically a non-entity during this whole sequence. I also thought there were a few bits of dialogue where Delcatty is very clearly meant to say something specific in reply that kinda got lost due to insufficient hints as to what it was from Gengar’s dialogue. Being a bit more generous about Gengar giving hints as to the surrounding context would’ve helped a bit there.

I also noticed that you had a couple places where Gengar has really long-winded chunks of dialogue that feel more natural that he’d stop at points or go in a back-and-forth with Delcatty. You should consider hacking those parts up into smaller and more digestible parts. Finally, I kinda wonder if this series would’ve benefitted from more installments, especially if we got to see Gengar more gradually open up to Delcatty as they went through the Mystery Dungeon such that the parts where he gets more and more in-detail about his backstory would have more impact. Though I might be jumping the gun a bit there, since based off the ending note of the fourth and presently final installment, it sounds like there was meant to be more to come.

I don’t know if you intend to continue this series @Incognito Albatross , but for what it’s worth, I hope you see things through. It’s a cute series following Gengar coming to terms with who he used to be and towards the person that he ultimately needs to be in order to see his mission through, and it’d be fun to be able to read the rest of it one day.

Hope the feedback was helpful for you, and Merry Blitzmas.
 
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Heya, swinging by for some light reading as part of the tail end of my Christmas Day when I noticed this piece, though a fic consisting of one-sided dialogue from Gengar? I’m not fully sure what that’s going to look like or if the premise really sounds workable to me, but eh. I’ll give it a shot.
I'm so sorry I didn't see this sooner! I don't really check TR much anymore, since I'm not all that active in the PMD fanfic scene. I'm really happy to get such a detailed and thorough review! I love it when people really look at everything, so it was great to see the line-by-line bits. I just turned 20 today, and I'm going to go out for dinner with my friends soon, so I'll save a longer reply for later, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm really grateful for the feedback. Yeah, what's posted isn't the complete thing; there are meant to be a few more parts. I'm really not great at finishing things, sticking it out until the end, but this feels like something I can definitely finish, and that'll make me feel better about my productivity, I think. So yeah, I do want to come back to this soon. Thank you so much, and Merry (late) Christmas!
 
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