• Welcome to Thousand Roads! You're welcome to view discussions or read our stories without registering, but you'll need an account to join in our events, interact with other members, or post one of your own fics. Why not become a member of our community? We'd love to have you!

    Join now!

Pokémon Steamed Yams

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
  8. meganium
This is a oneshot based on characters from my main story, Hands of Creation. This was inspired by another fic here that had a similar premise, and I knew one day I'd want to do it myself for my characters. I just couldn't figure out who would be the best fit... until now.

I'm not sorry.

<><><>

Steamed Yams

It was another beautiful day in Kilo Village. Goodra Anam, the Heart of Hearts and leader of the united world, had been looking forward to a simple dinner together with one of his subordinates, Lucario Rhys.

The sun was not long for the day, with blues transitioning to oranges in a cloudless sky. Anam had a small abode just down the road from his headquarters, only a few rooms large, but it was enough to call his home if he wanted somewhere quiet to live.

It had a living room that doubled as the entryway, a path into a bathroom to the left, a kitchen to the right, and an indoor pond that he called his bedroom straight ahead. He’d be using the living room, having set up a simple wooden table that still had a few leaves growing on it, for their eating area.

If the dinner went well enough, maybe they could have some training done! Rhys always loved training. But first, a meal.

Anam was lounging in his pond when the sound of a steel spike knocking against concrete jostled him away. He was here!

Eagerly, Anam got up from his pond and waddled into the living room, coating the grass below him in slime. He tugged the wooden door open to see the small, long-furred Lucario standing in front of him.

“Well, Anam, I made it,” Rhys replied with a nod, “despite your directions…”

“Rhys! Welcome!” Anam grinned, holding his arms out. Rhys respectfully backed away, so Anam lowered his arms and settled for a smile. “I hope you’re ready for a great dinner!”

“Mm.” Rhys nodded and stepped inside, careful to avoid the slime trail Anam left behind.

The Lucario took a seat by the table, inspecting one of the leafy branches growing out of it. He set down a small container of something that smelled like sweet apple cider in the middle of the table.

Anam shuffled into the kitchen next. It had the basic appliances like a clay stove, some wood to burn, and a cabinet of spices, and a cooled storage unit with a Hail Orb to keep things fresh.

But… no!

Anam gasped. The stove! It…!

“Oh, by light!” Anam jumped to the entrance and opened it.

Inside was some yellow mush that had overcooked into unrecognizable slop.

“My yams are ruined!”

Anam stiffened, nibbling on his grabbers. Rhys was waiting for him. What could he do?

He will just be disappointed in you, the unfriendly voice in Anam’s head said.

Mister Matter! Please, help! What do I do?!

The dish is unsalvageable. There is no hope.

No, there has to be a way…

Anam’s eyes trailed to the window. Just down the road, in the commercial district, he saw a building in the shape of a Ludicolo’s hat.

“But what if,” he whispered, “I grabbed some café food and made it look like my cooking?”

Quite deceptive of you, Anam.

Anam gulped but nodded. He had no choice. Rhys deserved a good meal!

But Rhys couldn’t know. Anam couldn’t go out the front entrance. So instead… Yes! The window!

Anam made his way to the exit, squatting down. He pushed the window open—

And then, Rhys stepped into the kitchen. “Ah—”

Anam froze. Slime dripped from his arms and legs.

Rhys narrowed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his snout. “Anam…”

“Rhys!” Anam said quickly. “I was just, uh, cleaning up my slime on the windowsill! It's a polite cultural thing, for, um, Goodra with guests. Want to join?”

Why in the world would he join you?

“…Why is there smoke coming from the stove, Anam?” Rhys asked.

“Smoke?” Anam looked up. It was a thin trail, but it must have been from the overcooking, the bottom of the yam sludge burning… “Uhh, that’s not smoke! It’s steam. Steam from the steamed yams we’re having!” Anam smiled wide, rubbing his grabbers together. “Yeah. Steamed yams.”

Rhys squinted but, for one reason or another, seemed to resign himself to this and stepped out of the kitchen again.

Anam sighed with relief and turned his attention back to the window, which was about half the radius of his hips. He jumped through, squelching his way to the other side. He made a mad dash for the café…

Lies beget lies. Are you ready to deal with the consequences?

Anam didn’t listen. This dinner had to work out. And he’d make that happen!

<><><>​

I can’t believe you’re doing this.

Anam smiled as he passed through the doorway into the living room with a tray of Oran Berries and other small treats. “Rhys, I hope you’re ready for some amazing Orans!”

Rhys, sitting politely at the table, swiveled his ears thoughtfully. “I thought we were having steamed yams.”

“Oh! No, um, I said steamed Orans. That’s what I call Oran platters.”

Are you serious?

“You call sandwich platters steamed Orans.”

“Yes!” Anam nodded. “It’s a, uh, regional dialect.”

Anam, you made all regions one region two decades ago.

“…What region?” Rhys asked, now looking skeptical.

“Uh, old region, near War’s End.”

“Really?” Rhys said. “As a reminder, the old lab is near War’s End, and I’m from—”

“Oh, no, no, the western side.”

“I see.” Rhys looked befuddled rather than convinced but at least he didn’t challenge it.

Anam set the platter down and Rhys took the first sandwich which—thankfully—had slices of Oran inside.

And for a moment, Anam thought all would go well. But seconds later, Rhys inspected the sandwich curiously. His brow furrowed, aura feelers twitching.

“You know,” Rhys said, “these remind me of the sandwiches at Ludicolo Café—”

“Ha ha!” Anam interrupted. “No, no, this is an old family recipe. From my Mom’s side! Hundreds of years old!”

“…For steamed yams.”

“Mhm!”

“And they’re called steamed yams despite the fact they’re… caramelized.” He opened the bread, revealing the browned berries and veggies within.

“Um…” Anam trailed off. “Well, that, uh… the thing is…”

You’re in too deep. Kill him.

I can’t do that!

Then find an excuse.

“Uh—excuse me for a sec!”

“Mm.” Rhys put the sandwich back together and resumed eating as Anam slipped into the kitchen.

What do I do? How do I get out?

If killing isn’t on the table, just say you’re tired. I’m sure you’ve done stranger things.

But I don’t need to sleep!

He’ll buy it. He’s already done.

Anam nibbled on his feelers, then, realizing the smoke was filling his kitchen, quickly exited, and let out a great yawn.

“Wow, Rhys. That was a great dinner, huh? Sorry for the wait, but at least we had fun!”

The Lucario sighed and checked outside with a glance. “Mm. yes,” Rhys said, acknowledging the evening sky. “I suppose I should be”—He shot out of his seat, pointing at Anam’s kitchen—“By Mew, what’s happening in there?!”

“Uhh—Dungeon distortion.”

“Wh—” Rhys squinted. He stumbled over his words as the energy around him swirled, rattling nearby loose furniture and plates. “Dungeon distortion? Right here, now, in the caldera of Kilo Village, after centuries without new sightings… localized entirely within your kitchen?”

“Mhm!” Anam clasped his slimy feelers together.

A beat of silence. Rhys brought his paws up, channeling aura. “Perhaps we should investigate?”

“Uhh, I got it!” Anam ushered Rhys out of the house.

Rhys glanced at the kitchen with mild concern, though the way he stared skeptically at Anam, the Goodra knew he just had to clean this up tomorrow and make up a new story.

Once outside, though, Rhys relaxed. Perhaps he trusted Anam to deal with it. “Well, Anam… as per usual, you provide for me a unique experience,” Rhys said, looking stern, “but… you steam a good yam.”

With a friendly and polite smile, he turned and walked down the road.

“Anam!” a Decidueye shouted from the upper floor, “the house is on fire!”

Rhys turned around and looked concerned again.

“No, Jam-Jam! Just a Dungeon distortion!”

Anam waved goodbye to Rhys with overcompensatingly enthusiastic gestures. Rhys sighed and continued down the road.

“Anam?” Decidueye called. “Anaaaam!”

And as a Blastoise came rumbling down the road, cannons prepped, Anam happily turned back into the house.

Another job well done.
 
Last edited:

Gyeig

Bug Catcher
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. samurott
review time lol

So.

Uh.

Uhh.

I just read a massive meme, didn't I? Steamed Hams, except it's HoC and there's a lot of fucked up implications behind the whole thing. I'm just gonna go through the list of things I spotted, and you're probably gonna read this laughing your ass off by whatever conceptions I have.

So, it's Steamed Hams, except with Rhys and Anam, who apparently has schizophrenia given the voice in his head. Dark Matter, I'm guessing ('Mister Matter' doesn't exactly leave a lot of room for interpreting things), which uh. Yeah, maybe having Anam be in charge of things wasn't the best idea. Maybe someone ought to call an exorcist and get the space discoball out of him, preferably before shit goes horribly wrong? Maybe it already has? Anyway.

In all seriousness, this was kinda silly, I liked it. Feels like getting a sample of cheese or any other kind of food at the grocery store, except the food in question is HoC. Easy prose, out there worldbuilding, and so on. If not for the spoilers, you could easily pitch this as a HoC sample. Depends on how far you want to with spoilers - though with HoC, pretty much every chapter has some kind of spoiler in it.

Speaking of which, it's interesting reading this from the perspective of someone who's not that deep into HoC yet - some would argue that ruins the experience, but I'd wager you just get a different kind of experience out of it. In my case, all the scenes with Anam read a hell of a lot differently when armed with the knowledge that he's potentially posessed by Dark Matter - next thing you know is that he'll turn on the whole group, or maybe he's already misleading them into doing all the things they shouldn't be doing. It's interesting to think about.

But yeah, I don't really have any negatives to point out. This had a goal, and pretty much achieved that - that's all I have to say. Cheers-
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, I remember you describing this story on some Discords a while back as a “shitpost” fic. While I’m not exactly sure what that’ll entail, I’m pretty open-minded about the stuff I read, and I was in the mood for some lighter and easier fare tonight, so that sounded like as good a reason as any to just jump right in:

It was another beautiful day in Kilo Village. Goodra Anam, the Heart of Hearts and leader of the united world, had been looking forward to a simple dinner together with one of his subordinates, Lucario Rhys.

I can’t tell whether or not this is from the distant past relative to HoC’s present, or else some point later in the story. Since I did not recall Anam being this forward about Rhys being his subordinate early on in the story.

The sun was not long for the day, with blues transitioning to oranges in a cloudless sky. Anam had a small abode just down the road from his headquarters, only a few rooms large, but it was enough to call his home if he wanted somewhere quiet to live.

Well, this is news to me. Even if I suppose that it makes sense that Anam wouldn’t literally live in his workspace now that I think about it.

It had a living room that doubled as the entryway, a path into a bathroom to the left, a kitchen to the right, and an indoor pond that he called his bedroom straight ahead. He’d be using the living room, having set up a simple wooden table that still had a few leaves growing on it, for their eating area.

Oh, so it’s a PMD-spec stump table. With still-living roots from the looks of it.

If the dinner went well enough, maybe they could have some training done! Rhys always loved training. But first, a meal.

Anam was lounging in his pond when the sound of a steel spike knocking against concrete jostled him away. He was here!

Anam: “... I should really get a doorbell installed for this place, shouldn’t I? Since that can’t possibly be good for that concrete.”
635766661743640596.webp


Eagerly, Anam got up from his pond and waddled into the living room, coating the grass below him in slime. He tugged the wooden door open to see the small, long-furred Lucario standing in front of him.

>long-furred

Is it winter or something? Since that feels like a very “winter coat” phenomenon.

“Well, Anam, I made it,” Rhys replied with a nod, “despite your directions…”

Oh boy, I can only imagine what those directions entailed.
1105356025936228434.webp


“Rhys! Welcome!” Anam grinned, holding his arms out. Rhys respectfully backed away, so Anam lowered his arms and settled for a smile. “I hope you’re ready for a great dinner!”

“Mm.” Rhys nodded and stepped inside, careful to avoid the slime trail Anam left behind.

… This is going to be a play off of the “Principal Skinner Invites Superintendent Chalmers to Dinner” gag from The Simpsons, isn’t it? Since this feels very reminiscent of it right now.

The Lucario took a seat by the table, inspecting one of the leafy branches growing out of it. He set down a small container of something that smelled like sweet apple cider in the middle of the table.

Anam shuffled into the kitchen next. It had the basic appliances like a clay stove, some wood to burn, and a cabinet of spices, and a cooled storage unit with a Hail Orb to keep things fresh.

But… no!

Anam gasped. The stove! It…!

“Oh, by light!” Anam jumped to the entrance and opened it.

Okay, yeah. This is going to be a riff off of the Principal Skinner gag. I should’ve figured from how the title is a play off of it. Time to see where you take things, since I doubt this is going to be a 1:1 with the original.

Inside was some yellow mush that had overcooked into unrecognizable slop.

“My yams are ruined!”

Anam stiffened, nibbling on his grabbers. Rhys was waiting for him. What could he do?

Get in a rush order from McDeino’s next door? :V

He will just be disappointed in you, the unfriendly voice in Anam’s head said.

Mister Matter! Please, help! What do I do?!

The dish is unsalvageable. There is no hope.

No, there has to be a way…

592055067104772107.webp


Seriously, Anam, just go to McDeino’s already. Or whatever Kilo Village’s equivalent to Krusty Burger is.

Anam’s eyes trailed to the window. Just down the road, in the commercial district, he saw a building in the shape of a Ludicolo’s hat.

“But what if,” he whispered, “I grabbed some café food and made it look like my cooking?”

Quite deceptive of you, Anam.

Whelp, not quite McDeino’s, though I guess bland-name Mexican food will be on the table tonight.

Anam gulped but nodded. He had no choice. Rhys deserved a good meal!

But Rhys couldn’t know. Anam couldn’t go out the front entrance. So instead… Yes! The window!

… Is Anam even going to be physically capable of fitting through that window? I mean, I know that he has those ghost powers from HoC, but…
1105356025936228434.webp


Anam made his way to the exit, squatting down. He pushed the window open—

And then, Rhys stepped into the kitchen. “Ah—”

Anam froze. Slime dripped from his arms and legs.

Rhys narrowed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his snout. “Anam…”

Rhys: “Anam, are you doing a comedy routine from almost 30 years ago?
701590056053374976.webp

Anam: “Technically, you’re missing a couple digits beforehand for our setting, but… no?” ^^;
Rhys: “Then what are you doing?”
732415158126772355.webp


“Rhys!” Anam said quickly. “I was just, uh, cleaning up my slime on the windowsill! It's a polite cultural thing, for, um, Goodra with guests. Want to join?”

Why in the world would he join you?

I can already hear Rhys struggling not to dry heave right now.

“…Why is there smoke coming from the stove, Anam?” Rhys asked.

“Smoke?” Anam looked up. It was a thin trail, but it must have been from the overcooking, the bottom of the yam sludge burning… “Uhh, that’s not smoke! It’s steam. Steam from the steamed yams we’re having!” Anam smiled wide, rubbing his grabbers together. “Yeah. Steamed yams.”

Rhys: “Anam, you do realize Lucario are empaths by nature and that I can tell that you’re obviously uncomfortable right now, right?”
659983090747441181.webp

Anam: “Th-That’s just stage fright as a host!” ^^;

Rhys squinted but, for one reason or another, seemed to resign himself to this and stepped out of the kitchen again.

So, he basically just rolled his eyes and went “whatever, Anam’s the boss, I won’t fight it”, huh? :P

Anam sighed with relief and turned his attention back to the window, which was about half the radius of his hips. He jumped through, squelching his way to the other side. He made a mad dash for the café…

Lies beget lies. Are you ready to deal with the consequences?

Anam didn’t listen. This dinner had to work out. And he’d make that happen!

Anam isn’t going to have a house aside from the Thousand Hearts building by the end of this oneshot, isn’t he?

… Though I like how the way he just cavalierly lies to Rhys here, as shitposty as it is, is actually decent foreshadowing that Anam has serious skeletons in his closet in HoC proper. Since if he’s willing to lie over little things to avoid embarrassment, then…

I can’t believe you’re doing this.

Anam smiled as he passed through the doorway into the living room with a tray of Oran Berries and other small treats. “Rhys, I hope you’re ready for some amazing Orans!”

Rhys: “I thought we were having steamed yams.”
701590056053374976.webp


Rhys, sitting politely at the table, swiveled his ears thoughtfully. “I thought we were having steamed yams.”

Oh right, that’s literally a part of this comedy routine.
803821849384583219.webp


“Oh! No, um, I said steamed Orans. That’s what I call Oran platters.”

Are you serious?

“You call sandwich platters steamed Orans.”

Not that a sandwich platter wouldn’t be a very on-brand translation of what went down in the OG of this routine, but it’s never described that his tray has sandwiches when it’s “Oran Berries and other small treats”, which paints a very different visual image in the readers’ heads.

Rhys: “Anam, for Mew’s sake…”
659983090747441181.webp


“Yes!” Anam nodded. “It’s a, uh, regional dialect.”

Anam, you made all regions one region two decades ago.

Okay, yeah. This confirms that this is set in the distant past of HoC’s setting. I can already tell that Anam is really grateful that almost everyone in Kilo Village has had this whole episode lazored out of their memories by Nevren.

“…What region?” Rhys asked, now looking skeptical.

“Uh, old region, near War’s End.”

Filing that one away for if/when I get far enough into HoC, since even early on, there were repeated references to there being some sort of calamitous war in the past, so odds are that this place will turn up at some point.

“Really?” Rhys said. “As a reminder, the old lab is near War’s End, and I’m from—”

“Oh, no, no, the western side.”

Yeah, there’s a story behind this, I can tell. Though I suppose that it’s only fitting that a comedy piece featuring members of HoC’s cast would encourage readers to check out the context from what some of these casual mentions originate from.

“I see.” Rhys looked befuddled rather than convinced but at least he didn’t challenge it.

Rhys: “Anam, I can literally tell that you’re lying right now.
635766721990361098.webp

Anam: “No, no. That’s just… my aura acting up. Yeah. It does that sometimes when I'm nervous.” ^^;

Anam set the platter down and Rhys took the first sandwich which—thankfully—had slices of Oran inside.

Oh, so that’s how Anam is coping about how this is an “Oran Platter”

And for a moment, Anam thought all would go well. But seconds later, Rhys inspected the sandwich curiously. His brow furrowed, aura feelers twitching.

“You know,” Rhys said, “these remind me of the sandwiches at Ludicolo Café—”

Aaaaand we have our name for our Krusty Burger counterpart. I wonder if this place actually shows up in HoC proper or not.

“Ha ha!” Anam interrupted. “No, no, this is an old family recipe. From my Mom’s side! Hundreds of years old!”

“…For steamed yams.”

“Mhm!”

Rhys: “Anam, you realize that the only way you could be tracking that old comedy routine any harder is if you bought burgers from McDeino’s, right?”
732415158126772355.webp

Anam: “Well, that would be a bit hard since this is a family recipe…”
720106605982646283.webp

Rhys: “Ugh, fine. We’ll go all the way with this, but I sure hope you have your home insurance up to date, since I remember how that comedy routine ended…”

“And they’re called steamed yams despite the fact they’re… caramelized.” He opened the bread, revealing the browned berries and veggies within.

“Um…” Anam trailed off. “Well, that, uh… the thing is…”

You’re in too deep. Kill him.

I can’t do that!

Oh well that got concerning quickly. Though considering what we know of Rhys from the first dozen-ish chapters… yeah, Anam might be onto something there for reasons beyond moral reservations.

Then find an excuse.

“Uh—excuse me for a sec!”

I can already tell that the backstory behind this is going to be really, really
1105356025936228434.webp
in retrospect once I learn what the identity of Anam’s voice in his head is.

“Mm.” Rhys put the sandwich back together and resumed eating as Anam slipped into the kitchen.

What do I do? How do I get out?

If killing isn’t on the table, just say you’re tired. I’m sure you’ve done stranger things.

hes-right-you-know-morgan-freeman.png


But I don’t need to sleep!

He’ll buy it. He’s already done.

Rhys: “More like I’m waiting to see if you’ll admit defeat and come clean before letting your house burn down, buuuuuuut…”
916590116670144542.webp


Anam nibbled on his feelers, then, realizing the smoke was filling his kitchen, quickly exited, and let out a great yawn.

“Wow, Rhys. That was a great dinner, huh? Sorry for the wait, but at least we had fun!”

The Lucario sighed and checked outside with a glance. “Mm. yes,” Rhys said, acknowledging the evening sky. “I suppose I should be”—He shot out of his seat, pointing at Anam’s kitchen—“By Mew, what’s happening in there?!”

Rhys: “Anam, do you want me to help you put that out, or…?”
701590056053374976.webp


“Uhh—Dungeon distortion.”

“Wh—” Rhys squinted. He stumbled over his words as the energy around him swirled, rattling nearby loose furniture and plates. “Dungeon distortion? Right here, now, in the caldera of Kilo Village, after centuries without new sightings… localized entirely within your kitchen?”

Rhys: “Anam, I literally know how the comedy routine that this one-shot is based off goes!” >_>;
Anam: “Not canonically, you don’t. But seriously, surely you of all Pokémon would know that it’s not impossible for there to be fiery Dungeon distortion… like in the Fire Realm!” ^^;

“Mhm!” Anam clasped his slimy feelers together.

A beat of silence. Rhys brought his paws up, channeling aura. “Perhaps we should investigate?”

“Uhh, I got it!” Anam ushered Rhys out of the house.

Rhys: “Anam, for crying out loud, at least use Rain Dance to save your house before it burns down!” >.<
Anam: “You see, that’d be a handy suggestion, except my house isn’t burning down and Rain Dance wouldn’t do much for Dungeon distortion.” ^^;

Rhys glanced at the kitchen with mild concern, though the way he stared skeptically at Anam, the Goodra knew he just had to clean this up tomorrow and make up a new story.

Yeah, if you allow this skit to go to its full conclusion, good luck with that one, buddy.

Once outside, though, Rhys relaxed. Perhaps he trusted Anam to deal with it. “Well, Anam… as per usual, you provide for me a unique experience,” Rhys said, looking stern, “but… you steam a good yam.”

With a friendly and polite smile, he turned and walked down the road.

“Anam!” a Decidueye shouted from the upper floor, “the house is on fire!”

Oh, so that’s who you cast as the analogue to Seymour’s mother for this one-shot.
662499150147092533.webp


Rhys turned around and looked concerned again.

“No, Jam-Jam! Just a Dungeon distortion!”

Rhys: “Anam, not that James doesn’t have some advantages in dodging fire-related problems that we’re probably not getting into in this one-shot, but you should really break out that Rain Dance-”
701590056053374976.webp

Anam: “Again, not effective on Dungeon distortion! Trust me, I’ve tried.” ^^;

Anam waved goodbye to Rhys with overcompensatingly enthusiastic gestures. Rhys sighed and continued down the road.

Rhys: “Whelp, I sure hope that James likes dealing with insurance claims, since boy, I can already tell that I’m going to be hearing a lot about this around the office.”
803141280380485632.webp


“Anam?” Decidueye called. “Anaaaam!”

And as a Blastoise came rumbling down the road, cannons prepped, Anam happily turned back into the house.

Another job well done.

James: “Anam, did you seriously just let the house burn down to do an extended reference to a thirty-year old comedy routine?!” >v<
Anam: “Technically it’s much older than that for us. Though don’t sweat it too much, Jam-Jam. It’s not like anyone in town will ever remember any of this once Nev-Nev does his thing as usual.”
720106605982646283.webp

Alright, time for the recap:

lN9leqw.gif


I mean, sure it’s a bit derivative, but it’s a shitpost story and it succeeded at its number one job at being hilarious, so I won’t knock it. I’m particularly impressed at how at least from a glance, this entire exchange went down without anybody breaking character from how they are in HoC, and how some of the reactions or details that are lulzy on their face or seemingly inconsequential are actually major foreshadowing for things that will come up later on in its run.

If there was anything that I’d have a criticism about for this story, it’s that it’s a little too beat-for-beat with the original Steamed Hams skit. Like it might have been fun to see things go off-script at some point at the end, but I can’t judge that harshly. The point of this one-shot was to be a funny meme while actually making sense in its native setting, and it delivered on both fronts.

Hope the review was fun to read @Namohysip , if nothing else, this one-shot was a decent advertisement to check out some of your other fare down the road. ^^
 

SparklingEspeon

Back on Her Bullshit
Staff
Location
a Terrace of Indeterminate Location in Snowbelle
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. espurr
  2. fennekin
  3. zoroark
Pain. Eternal suffering. Death. Nowhere is safe…. From Steamed Hams……

This was…. Something to read :p

I think it is at once highly impressive and one of the most awful things ever to grace this forum that you’ve managed to write a memefic like this,,, and make it make sense,

And also curse us with aNOTHER STEAMED HAMS VARIANT PLS NO it keeps getting worse

(which, granted, does mean deviating from the script just a tad wrt Anam’s inner monologue and the Dark Matter bits, but still, wildly uncanny how on-track it remains despite that)

He will just be disappointed in you, the unfriendly voice in Anam’s head said.

Motivational DM quotes helpful as ever I see :V

Honestly I think the DM voice was one of the best additions to this. You don’t go off-script in many places (except for a small one where I think in the original Steamed Hams it’s the guy baking trying to impress his boss, and not the other way around?), but lampshading it with DM’s deadpan “Death has forsaken me and I am eternally bound to this idiot’s every whim” responses made it extremely entertaining and helped it flow really well.

It's also fun reading the additional context in the banter from it being Rhys+Anam in the narrative instead of Random Simpsons Businessmen; honestly really can’t overstate that the more I think about this, the more the layers click into place and the more I truly hate it.

Overall this was…. Certainly A Fic That Existed. And there’s probably bricks of foreshadowing in this that I missed, too. Kudos for adding like three layers of smarts to something that looks so incredibly stupid on the cover, r/angryupvote
 
Last edited:

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
  8. meganium
Thanks, you three, for reviewing this one! Admittedly, this was something I've had in my head for a while and wasn't sure who would fit the characters for. But then I found it and the rest was thrown together in a matter of a week on-and-off. I'm glad I could make your lives worse with it.

Thanks for reviewing! And yes, this is canon to HoC, because not once did anyone break character.
 
Top Bottom