unrepentantAuthor
A cat that writes stories.
Brisa was a violent animal.
Jesse had told her. He'd been right. She remembered now.
Yes.
She remembered, now.
Brisa's paws crackled with vicious lightning as she prowled forward towards Curio.
"You shouldn't forgive me," she snarled. "There's no way you could forgive me."
Brisa shot Starr a look of feral pain and fear.
"I'm sick of hurtin' people, but it's all I'm capable of," she hissed. "I am a violent animal. You have to put me down."
And then she fixed her gaze on Curio once again, her jaws brimming with shadowy energy.
Jesse had told her. He'd been right. She remembered now.
“I'd never kill a thinkin' person, Jesse, don't you know that? This was a fuckin’ sparrin’ match, get off my tail already!”
“Not until you start handling yourself. You need to learn some responsibility before you lose control.”
She tried. She really tried. She trained and focused and held back. Wasn't it enough? What would be enough?
“Responsibility? What responsibility?” hissed Brisa. “To make myself smaller, to never bare my teeth in anger, to not remind you what I really am?”
“Yes, Brisa!” he shouted, voice breaking as he said her name. “Fuck, not the exact words, but yes! Brisa, I know it’s different for you than it is for me, I know I’m human, but you’re stronger than other pokémon. You must realise that. You’re fucking dangerous. I don’t want to find one day that you’ve fucking killed someone, Brisa! Back in the human world we call that manslaughter, and-”
"Well I'm not human. I'm sorry I'm not human! This is all that I am! Can't you love me this way?"
"I know. I know you're not human," said Jesse, with his voice. "You're a pokémon."
{You're a violent animal,} he thought, and Brisa heard it in her skull as if the thought was her own.
Shit.
So that was what her father thought of her.
Gods.
Salt and sand and spit.
Unbelievable.
"Yeah,” she spat. “I'm a pokémon. Like you. Like Ma. Like fuckin’ everybody. It don’t make us ‘violent animals,’ Pa!"
{I’m not a fucking pokémon-} “I’m not a fucking pokémon, though! I’m a fucking human, and we don’t live like this. Fighting all the time, regardless of reason. And you more than anyone! You never rest.”
Ha! She was getting to him, now. His thoughts only spilled into her head like that during speech when he was losing his grip on his emotions. Well so what? She wanted to upset him. She wanted to make him feel like shit. That sounded great right now.
“Well, that’s my life. I do fight for no goddamn reason, Pa. That’s what I am. What are you gonna do about it?”
{I’ll put a stop to it.} “I’ll put a stop to it. You can’t keep hurting people, Brisa. That’s what you’ll do if you go on fighting like this.”
“Stop me how? Huh? I’m gonna go find Cathy, and I’m gonna ask for a rematch, and I’m gonna kick her tail!”
She pictured the most brutal fight she could. Jesse would see. He always saw, he couldn’t resist looking into her mind at every last fucking opportunity. Well, if she couldn’t have privacy in her own head, she’d punish him for it. She filled her mind’s eye with images of Cathy, bleeding from a dozen wounds.
{No! NO!} “No. You won’t. I forbid it, Brisa.”
“Ha. Not like you can stop me. Hell, I bet I could prove a match for you. How about it?”
Brisa bared her teeth at her father and imagined what he’d look like after she clawed him to fucking ribbons. He’d see it. So what.
{Stop it, fucking stop it-} “Brisa. I’m serious. Don’t let me find you fighting like that again.”
“Or what?” She was going to fight all she wanted. She imagined how it would be to let loose. To take out everyone in town without breaking a sweat. That’s how fucking strong she was. She was always holding back. Always. And this motherfucker was trying to stop her from having a friendly spar? She could knock anyone she wanted through a brick fucking wall if she stopped holding back. Just try and stop her. Just fucking try.
{What the fuck, Brisa-} “Brisa-”
“What are you gonna do to me when you find me like this?” she asked, and imagined sinking her teeth into Cathy’s neck.
Cathy’s blood in her mouth.
Biting down.
Hard.
Harder.
Jesse’s paw moved to one of his wands and he grit his teeth so hard Brisa felt her jaw hurt.
{If I catch you like that again,} went his inner monologue, {I won’t hesitate to put you down like the violent animal you are.}
…
Oh.
Jesse’s eyes went wide with horror before Brisa could even react. “I- I don’t know-” he stammered.
Brisa drew back, ears fully flat and tail pulled between her legs. Had her father really just… thought that?
“…Pa?”
{Oh god. Brisa-} “Brisa… whatever you just heard, I would never-”
“Pa, what in blazes is goin’ through your fuckin’ head? Get away from me. Get away. Stay back!”
She began retreating from her father’s fearful gaze, not knowing or caring what it would do to him if she fled forever.
{Brisa.} “Brisa. Calm down.”
“Calm down? Ha, you think I’m the violent one? I’ve never done any of that shit I was thinkin’ about. But you? You’ve only ever solved your problems by shootin’ them. You gonna shoot me, huh? You gonna put me down, Pa?”
{Brisa.} “Brisa. Let me help you. You need to stay calm.”
“How you gonna explain your daughter’s corpse to your goddamn wife, Stranger?”
{Brisa.} “I don’t want to do this.”
“You won’t see me again, Jesse.”
{BRISA.}
Jesse put out a paw and his eyes burned with a hard light. Brisa froze in his sight and felt her mind being forced open, felt Jesse Stranger inside her head, grasping inexpertly for the memory of his flash of anger, seeking to tear it out, desperate to have never even thought that godawful thing in her presence.
Brisa screamed.
“Not until you start handling yourself. You need to learn some responsibility before you lose control.”
She tried. She really tried. She trained and focused and held back. Wasn't it enough? What would be enough?
“Responsibility? What responsibility?” hissed Brisa. “To make myself smaller, to never bare my teeth in anger, to not remind you what I really am?”
“Yes, Brisa!” he shouted, voice breaking as he said her name. “Fuck, not the exact words, but yes! Brisa, I know it’s different for you than it is for me, I know I’m human, but you’re stronger than other pokémon. You must realise that. You’re fucking dangerous. I don’t want to find one day that you’ve fucking killed someone, Brisa! Back in the human world we call that manslaughter, and-”
"Well I'm not human. I'm sorry I'm not human! This is all that I am! Can't you love me this way?"
"I know. I know you're not human," said Jesse, with his voice. "You're a pokémon."
{You're a violent animal,} he thought, and Brisa heard it in her skull as if the thought was her own.
Shit.
So that was what her father thought of her.
Gods.
Salt and sand and spit.
Unbelievable.
"Yeah,” she spat. “I'm a pokémon. Like you. Like Ma. Like fuckin’ everybody. It don’t make us ‘violent animals,’ Pa!"
{I’m not a fucking pokémon-} “I’m not a fucking pokémon, though! I’m a fucking human, and we don’t live like this. Fighting all the time, regardless of reason. And you more than anyone! You never rest.”
Ha! She was getting to him, now. His thoughts only spilled into her head like that during speech when he was losing his grip on his emotions. Well so what? She wanted to upset him. She wanted to make him feel like shit. That sounded great right now.
“Well, that’s my life. I do fight for no goddamn reason, Pa. That’s what I am. What are you gonna do about it?”
{I’ll put a stop to it.} “I’ll put a stop to it. You can’t keep hurting people, Brisa. That’s what you’ll do if you go on fighting like this.”
“Stop me how? Huh? I’m gonna go find Cathy, and I’m gonna ask for a rematch, and I’m gonna kick her tail!”
She pictured the most brutal fight she could. Jesse would see. He always saw, he couldn’t resist looking into her mind at every last fucking opportunity. Well, if she couldn’t have privacy in her own head, she’d punish him for it. She filled her mind’s eye with images of Cathy, bleeding from a dozen wounds.
{No! NO!} “No. You won’t. I forbid it, Brisa.”
“Ha. Not like you can stop me. Hell, I bet I could prove a match for you. How about it?”
Brisa bared her teeth at her father and imagined what he’d look like after she clawed him to fucking ribbons. He’d see it. So what.
{Stop it, fucking stop it-} “Brisa. I’m serious. Don’t let me find you fighting like that again.”
“Or what?” She was going to fight all she wanted. She imagined how it would be to let loose. To take out everyone in town without breaking a sweat. That’s how fucking strong she was. She was always holding back. Always. And this motherfucker was trying to stop her from having a friendly spar? She could knock anyone she wanted through a brick fucking wall if she stopped holding back. Just try and stop her. Just fucking try.
{What the fuck, Brisa-} “Brisa-”
“What are you gonna do to me when you find me like this?” she asked, and imagined sinking her teeth into Cathy’s neck.
Cathy’s blood in her mouth.
Biting down.
Hard.
Harder.
Jesse’s paw moved to one of his wands and he grit his teeth so hard Brisa felt her jaw hurt.
{If I catch you like that again,} went his inner monologue, {I won’t hesitate to put you down like the violent animal you are.}
…
Oh.
Jesse’s eyes went wide with horror before Brisa could even react. “I- I don’t know-” he stammered.
Brisa drew back, ears fully flat and tail pulled between her legs. Had her father really just… thought that?
“…Pa?”
{Oh god. Brisa-} “Brisa… whatever you just heard, I would never-”
“Pa, what in blazes is goin’ through your fuckin’ head? Get away from me. Get away. Stay back!”
She began retreating from her father’s fearful gaze, not knowing or caring what it would do to him if she fled forever.
{Brisa.} “Brisa. Calm down.”
“Calm down? Ha, you think I’m the violent one? I’ve never done any of that shit I was thinkin’ about. But you? You’ve only ever solved your problems by shootin’ them. You gonna shoot me, huh? You gonna put me down, Pa?”
{Brisa.} “Brisa. Let me help you. You need to stay calm.”
“How you gonna explain your daughter’s corpse to your goddamn wife, Stranger?”
{Brisa.} “I don’t want to do this.”
“You won’t see me again, Jesse.”
{BRISA.}
Jesse put out a paw and his eyes burned with a hard light. Brisa froze in his sight and felt her mind being forced open, felt Jesse Stranger inside her head, grasping inexpertly for the memory of his flash of anger, seeking to tear it out, desperate to have never even thought that godawful thing in her presence.
Brisa screamed.
She remembered, now.
Brisa's paws crackled with vicious lightning as she prowled forward towards Curio.
"You shouldn't forgive me," she snarled. "There's no way you could forgive me."
Brisa shot Starr a look of feral pain and fear.
"I'm sick of hurtin' people, but it's all I'm capable of," she hissed. "I am a violent animal. You have to put me down."
And then she fixed her gaze on Curio once again, her jaws brimming with shadowy energy.
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