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Pokémon Salt and Blood (One shot)

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
Salt and Blood

1705717025772.png

'Nothing is ever simple with you, Steven Stone'. Or so says Wallace. Steven's always brushed him off, but after an expedition to Paldea goes awry, perhaps he's more willing to give those words some consideration.
Oneshot // 2k
(whump, h/c)
I had this baby sitting in my folder and I figured, eh, might as well post it. Written in a feverish binge for fun and heavily inspired by Panoramics 'The Long Road' and ambiguously can be interpreted as a similar canon.

Not looking for much heavy crit but I figured i should post for the folks who enjoy a bit of whump and h/c and pokemon friends. Feel free to point out small spelling or grammar quirks though and give general impressions of prose and story! Generally any crit is kind of welcome but I'm not gonna change or add anything probably.

Cw: minor blood and injury

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.


Another icy splash against Steven's face finally drew him out of muggy darkness and into something resembling consciousness. He opened his eyes, blinked, then blinked again. It was several seconds before he could finally make out dim shapes in the almost non-existent lighting.

Hard stone bit into his back and he realized finally, he was lying in a puddle of water. Grimacing, he instinctively sat up, then sucked in a sharp breath through gritted teeth as a wave of pain rushed over him from head to toe. Still, he managed to sit without too much trouble.

Slowly, gingerly, he took better stock of himself. Nothing broken, but sore all over. His head kept thumping and aching and he had a nasty headache.

Nothing is ever simple with you, Steven Stone.

How many times had Wallace said that to him? Steven shook his head as dust tickled his throat and he coughed lightly. Usually he brushed off Wallace's worries, but just this once he was beginning to wonder if the water-type trainer had a point.

"You've really outdone yourself," he mused out loud, his voice echoing through the empty cavern before being swallowed by the sprawl of tunnels.

A simple research trip to Paldea, to see the sights, especially Paldea's rock formations and canyons, which were quite unlike any other region. A simple morning hike. Without his pokeballs, because he hadn't wanted to wake his friends and because they'd stayed up late with him the night before. A simple lapse in judgment. He'd gotten so focused on something else he'd missed the dip in the ground and the too wet earth, and he'd forgotten he was above the ocean, above a sprawling network of sea caves.

Until the ground vanished underneath his feet, sending him plummeting into the abyss.

It was an absolute miracle he hadn't broken every bone in his body. His gaze drifted upwards. The tiniest trickle of light could be seen somewhere above, highlighting the slope that broke the worst of his fall, and the puddle he'd landed in. It was too steep to safely climb, and even if he could somehow get back up, digging himself out was a fool's move, and he'd done enough of those today.

The distant crashing sound drew his attention. He'd seen similar caves to this shape of the walls and floors, the type of rock... Sea caves. Which meant one of these tunnels would hopefully exit out to a beach and he could escape.

With some difficulty, he dragged himself into an upright position. Immediately, Steven squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the wall as the room swayed. His head throbbed endlessly, but he tried his best to stifle it. To ignore the sensation of the warmth trickling down the side of his head. Or the way the salted air and damp clothes stung his scraped skin.

A shudder traveled through his body as a stiff breeze rolled through the caves. There. That was his way out. It took him a moment to properly fix in his mind where the breeze came from, then he started towards the tunnel.

Another hiss escaped him as he started to walk. He might have avoided broken bones, but every step made his body scream in protest. His fall into the caves had torn up his skin and bruised him worse than he realized. Even in the poor lightning, he could see the shredded remains of his favorite pants were stained dark in patches.

One step at a time. Setting his jaw, Steven pressed onward and into the tunnel. As he walked, he kept his breaths as shallow as he dared. Every time he drew in too deeply, his chest ached. The lingering dust in the air tickled his dry throat, making him want to cough. He couldn't decide if stifling the coughs hurt worse than coughing.

His thoughts drifted into a daze as he plodded along, step after step. One after the other. Aggron would give him an earful when he got back, and he was sure Metagross would want to chain him to the bed. Could you blame them? The thought made him laugh bitterly, then immediately regret it.

Thinking about his family was a good distraction though, and at some point, without him realizing, the tunnel had grown lighter, and the breeze stronger. The crashing sound from earlier was louder now, echoing through the tunnel like a beautiful beacon. A weary grin spread across his face and he picked up his pace slightly, ignoring his body's protest. He could rest when he got back to the hotel.

The tunnel began to slope slightly downward and the light in the distance grew brighter and brighter until finally he rounded a curve and saw shining sand and beyond that, the ocean. He almost could have broken into a sprint from sheer joy at the sight, but he curbed himself.

Still, he found himself grinning like a madman as he stepped out of the cave and onto the beach, and into freedom.

His smile vanished a few minutes later.

To his utter dismay, the section of the beach he'd emerged onto was a cove, hemmed in by sheer cliffs on all sides. No way out. High above he could just make out the green hills of the palace he'd been walking. A little ways below he could see what appeared to be a narrow path winding up the cliff face, but no way to reach it.

His gaze drifted back to the ocean. On either side of the cove, waves crashed endlessly against sharp rocks. Even Wallace wouldn't swim through that. Once more, he set his sights upon the cove walls, examining them closer. There had to be something...

There. Barely noticeable to an untrained eye, but obvious enough to him. A place where the walls had been worn away ever so slightly, and where the wall didn't slope so sharply. Perhaps once used by rock or other pokemon as a way up the cliff? Regardless, it was something. And that was better than nothing.

Risky, but if he could get high enough, he could reach the narrow path. Simple. Ignoring the irony of the thought, he staggered over to the cliff face. Standing beneath it, it somehow looked much steeper than he first thought. But the path he was trying to reach also looked closer than he thought. It would be fine.

"Aggron forgive me," he muttered.

Swallowing, he placed one leg on an outcropping, testing his weight, then reached up and dug his fingers into a crevice. Slowly, he eased himself up. The movement tore at his cuts, but he reached up with his other arm anyways, and drew himself a foot up the wall. His heart hammered in his chest and his hands ached.

Tilting his head back, he peered up the slope. He could do this. One hand in front of the other. This wasn't any worse than the other times he'd gotten himself into a rocky situation. Just a few feet, and he could get back to his hotel, and his team, and rest. Fixing the thought of Aggron's angry chiding in his mind, he pulled himself up, bit by bit, leaning against the prickly wall to rest as much as he dared.

So close.

He dared not look down, locking his eyes on the green above, and the blue sky. Quite suddenly, he became oddly aware of the growing warmth on his forehead, and the way his right eye twitched from a trickle of liquid slipping down his brow.

Just as he reached for another ledge, something slid into his eye. He winced and grabbed blindly. His hand closed around a sharp rock and he slipped. The movement sliced into his fingers and he recoiled instinctively. A strangled cry escaped his lips as he felt himself falling away from the cliff, his body slipping—

The endless crashing of the waves against the shore swallowed his shout as he lost his last foothold and plummeted downwards.


xxx​


Thump.

Thump.

Thump.


The world rocked and swayed ever so gently around Steven as something cradled his battered body. The first thing he felt was the strangest, mildest stinging sensation that felt oddly... pleasant. Like a buzz, a far cry from the constant flares of pain from earlier. Then he felt the movement. Swaying, and footsteps. Something large, carrying him.

Aggron? His addled thoughts struggled to make sense of everything. He remembered trying to climb the cliffs and then falling... The memory sent a jolt through him and his eyes shot open. Instead of familiar steel plates and blue eyes, he saw brown and white and green and blue and a dizzying array of sights that made his stomach churn.

He blinked and carefully turned and looked around, surprised to find his body mostly pain free. Something large was holding him, and rocky. A strange brown pokemon he'd never seen before, with arms and two legs, plodding along the grassy hills. "Wh-?"

A rumbling grunt came from the pokemon carrying him and it stopped, then slowly lowered him to the ground. Steven got his first good look at it. By all appearances, it reminded him of a small mountain. Or a pile of salt cubes? Its body and arms were colored like layers of sediment, and its hands and feet were like white rock.

Two golden eyes peered down at him, twinkling with concern and curiosity. It almost looked like it was giving him a once over. Its gaze locked onto something and Steven realized it was staring at his bloodied hand. With one huge arm, it reached out and ground two of its fingers together.

Steven could only watch, baffled, as white salt-like substance came off its fingers and fell onto his hand. For a split second, it stung, before settling into a soothing buzz. As he watched, the cut slowly began to fade, bit by bit, until only a red gash remained among the blood.

Still stunned, Steven stared up at the rocky titan, his brain finally catching up. He glanced around, and realized that while he could still hear the ocean, he wasn't on the beach any longer. Familiar green hills surrounded him, and a lighthouse in the distance. Back where he'd started, or not far from it.

"You saved me?" The words came out hoarsely from his still parched throat, and he licked his lips.

The pokemon dipped its body in a nod. It rumbled a noise that started low and ended in a high sound, almost like a question. It seemed to be asking about him.

"Am I okay?" Steven looked down at his body. His clothes were shredded, but his numerous cuts and bruises had faded to angry red markings. His head still throbbed, and his chest hurt, but even that pain had subsided substantially. He looked back at the pokemon and smiled wearily. "Yes, actually. Better. A lot better. Thank you."

Instinctively he started to try and get up. His team was waiting for him and probably worried sick—

A firm pressure held him back, his savior using one finger to stop him from sitting up. It gave a disapproving noise, then ever so gently, scooped him back up.

Steven blinked in surprise. "I appreciate what you did, but my team is waiting for me. My family. I need to get home." How could he make this pokemon understand?

It gave another noise like before, a question. Steven frowned. What was it trying to... It made the noise again and pointed off into the distance. What... "Oh. You want to know where I came from?"

Another rumble, like an acknowledgement.

Steven shifted and looked around, until he spotted the distant shape of town he'd been staying at. Alfornada. "That way but—" before he could protest further, the pokemon silenced him with another grunt, and began plodding steadily in the direction of the town.

It dawned on Steven what it planned to do. Walk with him all the way back to town, no doubt. "You really don't have to, I can make it from her—"

Once again, it silenced him, and kept walking. A sigh escaped Steven's lips and he lay back. What else could he do? He was hardly in a position to argue with the pokemon who'd apparently saved him from that beach, healed him somehow and carried him out of the cove.

Abruptly, he barked out a laugh, causing the pokemon to look down at him curiously. "Nothing," Steven said, trying not to chuckle and hurt his battered ribs. "It's just, it's not the first time a pokemon saved me from a situation like this."

Aggron was going to be pissed.
 
Last edited:

slamdunkrai

bing.com
Pronouns
they/them
Partners
  1. darkrai
  2. snom
Hi there! You know, I somehow don't think I've ended up reading any Tetra fic up until now; this is probably as good as an excuse as any, given not only the season, but the fact that this one's about bad things happening to a guy I know well (being a big TLR-head myself and all).

I really liked how you went about situating Steven in the setting at the start of this one; not only does it allow the reader to visualise his immediate surroundings, which is obviously important for a story about a rocky exhibiton gone awry, but given the choice of protagonist it feels natural that he would take heed of his surroundings: the feeling of hard rock on his back, the salted air against his skin, and the way he notices that he has emerged into a cove all stood out to me as good descriptions that show this part of his approach, in turn informing his method of problem solving. A part of me feels this could have been strengthened even more by putting further emphasis on his sensory experience more broadly as it pertains to the weight of things -- for example, the sensation of his clothes on his back after having woken up in a cold puddle, or the way that each of his near-broken bones and bruises drags his gait and inhibits his movement in the grander sense; it felt strange to imagine him in such a state and then being asked to imagine him almost sprinting before he curbs himself. Even so, I thought this element of the story as it currently exists works pretty well.

Likewise, I think you do a good job with the tension of this piece as it moves towards its climax; his movements start to feel more precise and measured as he tries to navigate his way across the cliff face via the outcropping, and in drawing that out as you do, you create the sense that time is slowing (and therefore, there is more room to ponder on the potential for mistake). It's a very good technique. I was conversely a little caught off-guard at the issue of his head wound seems to appear mid-paragraph ("Quite suddenly, he became aware of..."), and how that gets into his eye all of a sudden which means he loses his grip. I feel like making that specific wound (or even just the more general looming threat of catastrophe) more prominent in the build-up to that moment might have made his eventual fall hit even harder.

The moment at the end is good! It's a very heartfelt little moment between Steven and the garganacl; it shows just how much he cares for not only his own pokémon but those in the world around him, as well as how reciprocal that care often is, and it's very on brand that his immediate impulse is to brush it off as though he's fine and go home so as to not upset his aggron. I like that a lot.

Line-by-line stuff below, mostly just grammar and spelling:
Hard stone bit into his back and he realized finally, he was lying in a puddle of water
v good
Steven shook his head as dust tickled his throat and he coughed lighty.
missing l in lightly
A simple research trip to Paldea, to see the sights, especially Paldea's unique rock formations and canyons, which were quite unlike any other region.
feel as though this could be two sentences "a simple research trip to paldea, to see the sights. especially its rock formations and canyons" -- likewise, calling them "unique" and then saying in the clause they're "unlike any other region" feels redundant
A simple lapse in judgment, and he'd gotten so focused on something else he'd missed the dip in the ground and the too wet earth, and he'd forgotten he was above the ocean, above a sprawling network of sea. Until the ground vanished underneath his feet, sending him plummeting into the abyss.
wasn't sure about the rhythm of this set of sentences. trying to break this down at a structural level comes across like this, which feels unnatural: "a simple lapse in judgement, (conjunction) he'd (verbed X) so hard that he (verbed Y) (conjunction) he (verbed Z), (prepositional phrase). (conjunction) the ground (verbed A), (verbed B) into the abyss."
Or the way the salted air and damp clothes stung his scraped skin.
good
He couldn't decide if stifling the coughs hurt worse or just coughing.
should be "than just coughing" I think
Aggron would give him an earful when he got back, and he was sure Metagross would want to chain him to the bed. Could you blame them?
hahaha, this is very sweet. they're so pissed at the strange guy who looks after them and who they also look after
A little ways below he could see what appeared to a narrow path
missing "be"
Risky, but if he could get high enough, he could reach the narrow path. Simple. Ignoring the irony of the thought,
not sure how this is ironic
The world rocked and swayed every so gently
*ever
Something large, carrying him.
aww :) good moment

On the whole, this was a nice little story; I'm always glad to read Steven going on some kind of doomed adventure, and likewise, seeing big lunks like garganacl get on with humans is always a little sweet. Good work! Thanks for writing it :)
 

HelloYellow17

Gym Leader
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. suicune
  2. umbreon
  3. mew
  4. lycanroc-wes
  5. leafeon-rui
Aaaaaa I had completely forgotten about this one-shot!! I’m so glad you posted it, it’s short and sweet but OOOGH it has such good whump. Tetra whump is my freakin favorite. >:)

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.


Another icy splash against Steven's face finally drew him out of muggy darkness and into something resembling consciousness.
Mmm YES such a good way to open a whump fic, with the character slowly regaining consciousness from Something Bad Happening. You’re particularly good at this, I’ve noticed!

Hard stone bit into his back and he realized finally, he was lying in a puddle of water.
Small grammar nitpick: the comma makes things a little awkward and this would read better as “he finally realized” instead.

His head kept thumping and aching and he had a nasty headache.
The mention of a headache is redundant, since an aching and thumping head is a headache!

Another hiss escaped him as he started to walk. He might have avoided broken bones, but every step made his body scream in protest. His fall into the caves had torn up his skin and bruised him worse than he realized. Even in the poor lightning, he could see the shredded remains of his favorite pants were stained dark in patches.

One step at a time. Setting his jaw, Steven pressed onward and into the tunnel. As he walked, he kept his breaths as shallow as he dared. Every time he drew in too deeply, his chest ached. The lingering dust in the air tickled his dry throat, making him want to cough. He couldn't decide if stifling the coughs hurt worse than coughing.
YES GOOD >:) gosh I just love the way you write whump, specifically pain and injuries. And boy does Steven have a lot going on here. Broken bones or not, he’s still in rough shape.

Aggron would give him an earful when he got back, and he was sure Metagross would want to chain him to the bed.
Lollll yep absolutely. They’re gonna be SO mad he went out without them, and I can’t blame them. 😂 with how accident-prone he is? He shouldn’t go anywhere without his team lol

Thinking about his family was a good distraction though,
Jdbsjddk I just. Love it so much when he casually refers to his team as his family 😭

High above he could just make out the green hills of the palace he'd been walking.
I think “palace” was meant to be “place”?

This wasn't any worse than the other times he'd gotten himself into a rocky situation.
Rocky situation, you say? 😎

Something large was holding him, and rocky.
Another awkward comma here—would read better as “something large and rocky was holding him.”

Steven could only watch, baffled, as white salt-like substance came off its fingers and fell onto his hand. For a split second, it stung, before settling into a soothing buzz. As he watched, the cut slowly began to fade, bit by bit, until only a red gash remained among the blood.
Boy howdy am I glad this salt has healing abilities, otherwise this would literally just be pouring salt in a wound and that would SUCK, yikes. I’m squirming just thinking about it lol

Aggron was going to be pissed.
Ahahaha YES he is, and he’ll have every right to be! Dangit Steven!

As always, whump fic from you is a TREAT. In my mind, this is just straight up TLR Steven, haha, and you did a great job with him, from the “haha, I’m in danger” self-aware commentary, to the resigned “my team is gonna be so mad at me”, to how polite he is to the Big Ronk Friend. Excellent stuff! 💛
 
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