Oceanside Lowlife
Youngster
Chapter 2 Welcome to Po Town
Ian kept his eyes fixed on the horizon which had become more littered with clouds, trying to ignore the soreness in his back from balancing on the back of Tupp's bike. While riding on the back, he realized the less he thought about keeping his balance, the easier it got.
"There it is!" Tupp announced to Ian, the twenty foot walls protecting the town began growing as the group of cycling Team Skull members pedaled closer. After a few agonizingly long minutes, Tupp's bike slowed as the walls of Po Town loomed over the group. Ian stepped off the bike's back protrusions, nearly tripping as his upper body's forward momentum overtook his legs. Tupp cruised by the other Team Skull members who came to halt on their bikes, and Tupp got right up to the gate and began pounding loudly on the metal, the thuds from his hands echoing like a drum. "We here, fools!" Tupp yelled.
"Finally," Ian said under his breath, his leg and back muscles sore from the awkward position he needed to take to stand on the back of the bike.
"C'mon fuckheads, we here!" Tupp called out, giving another barrage from his fists. He stopped abruptly and shook his hand tenderly.
"Nice one, idiot," Rapp teased.
"I'm hurrying them up," Tupp fired back, holding his hurt hand. "You should be thanking me."
A metallic sound came from behind the gate, which Ian assumed to be the unlocking mechanism.
Selene went up to Tupp with an overly-sweet smile on her face. "Gee, thank you so much, you're my hero!" Selene said, voice full of sarcasm. "Idiot," she grunted as she passed him.
With a loud rumble, the gates began opening inwards slowly, revealing an asphalt road. Ian followed the rest of the squad in, seeing a couple Team Skull grunts coming out from behind the gates, bandanas and beanies covering most of their distinguishing features. Ian noted one had light brown skin and the other had skin that looked like he was East Asian. Or whatever that is in the Pokemon world. As Ian took his first step into Po Town, the sun fittingly dimmed slightly as a cloud blocked it.
"Managed to keep this Faller from getting fried by another Vikavolt, Plumeria?" A high-pitched male voice teased. Ian turned to the source of the voice: a man a few years older than Ian but no beanie covered his curly brown hair, and no bandana covered his goatee-sporting face.
"This one's not a complete idiot, Rook," Plumeria said. "But only so much. We picked him up at the end of that Ultra Storm that started a couple hours back. He's got his memory and knows what Pokemon are."
"Lucky for him," Rook grunted dryly.
The sense of dread made his now hungry stomach nauseous, so he shifted his attention to the rest of the town while the rest of the group put their bikes against the wall. In the games, Po Town was just a couple columns of houses. But here it was an actual town. Over the fences separating each mostly dilapidated house, he caught a glimpse of the perimeter wall surrounding the town. The cloud blockage gave the run down houses an even more dingy feel.
"How big is this place?" Ian asked curiously to his new companions.
"Why you gotta know?" Hyde fired back, eyes glaring at Ian.
"Just curious man," Ian replied simply.
Tupp cleared his throat, getting Ian's attention, mouthing "say 'fuck you.'"
Ian chuckled lowly, but declined.
"Something funny, kid?" Hyde questioned.
Ian stopped, his amused smile flipping into a scowl. "Kid? You look younger than me."
Hyde scoffed. "You're a few months older than me, but you fuck around like a kid, so Imma call you kid."
He's questioning my manhood here. Might be part of the test. "What's your deal, Hyde? You trying to fight me or something?"
Hyde smirked. "I'd be down, but you got no Pokemon on you."
"Got fists right here," Ian said, squaring up. It had been a while since karate classes when he was eight. He now found himself wishing he'd stayed longer than a couple months.
"You think Imma get in a scrap with an obvious plant from the Unova Marines?" Hyde sneered.
Ian heard multiple gasps from the members around him, and he noticed even Plumeria seemed alarmed. "What?"
"The ASF's been more active on the island recently, and capturing Po Town would give them a major base to counter Breon and Haina Town, plus keep an eye on Surge," Hyde explained.
Ian's eyebrows rose in confusion. "What the fuck are you talking about, dude?"
"What an easy fucking plant, says he doesn't even know what the Unova Marines are and he's clearly from Unova. Your story smells, 'Faller,' if you even really are one."
"Marines?" Ian asked. Oh he means like the armed forces, like the military branch called "marines" back home. "Why would Unovan Marines be out here?"
Hyde scoffed. "What a joke! The Unovan Marines been makin' Alola their bitch for years and you don't know?"
Geopolitics of the Pokemon world? Time to shut up. "Hey man, I never got into politics or anything..."
Plumeria stepped forward. "Hyde, cool it. Unova doesn't exactly go around bragging about what they do here in Alola. He's clearly just an idiot anyways."
For once in his life, Ian was ready to embrace the "idiot" moniker if it meant getting this Hyde asshole off his back.
"Well before he sees the boss, we gotta search him," Hyde said. "Make sure he ain't hiding anything."
Ian put his hands up. "Do it. I've got nothing to hide-" Ian then suddenly remembered the Star Piece in his back pocket he'd picked up in the Ultra Storm he'd yet to reveal. Okay, maybe something. Ian then lifted up his shirt and pulled his pockets out of his jeans. "See, nothing on me."
"Might be hiding something somewhere else," Hyde observed.
A glimmer of inspiration hit him. "Hyde, you're being a real asshole, which is funny because in Unova we have a saying: 'you are what you eat.' You trying to eat my ass, Hyde? Just strip me down and go to town?"
Hyde scoffed. "Fuck you, fake-ass Faller."
This is too easy. "Okay, you want to fuck me. I'm just glad you stopped being subtle about it!" Ian announced with a shit-eating grin. He caught Plumeria stifling a laugh in his peripheral vision. "I'm not gay, but I'm very supportive of you all-"
Hyde reached for a poke ball, eyes filled with hatred.
"Stand down Hyde, he doesn't have any Pokemon," Plumeria barked, pulling one of her own Poke Balls from her belt.
"He's a spy, can't you see it?" Hyde pleaded aggressively, Ian noticing a shiny wristwatch on Hyde's hand that reflected the sun right into his eyes for a moment.
Something involving "the spy who shagged me" crossed his mind, but Ian figured they didn't have Austin Powers in the Pokemon world. "Okay Hyde, I'll let you eat my ass!" Ian announced as he turned around and stuck his behind out. "It might taste a little funny though because the last time I took a shit there wasn't a lot of toilet paper."
"Fuck you, asshat!" Hyde spat as Ian watched him turn around in a rage and stormed off. Finally.
When Hyde seemed out of earshot, Plumeria, Tupp, Selene, and Rapp began giggling like hyenas. Tupp put his arm around Ian. "Dude, you might be stupid, but you're pretty fucking funny." Ian put his fist up, which Tupp happily bumped.
"Let's keep moving," Plumeria said, an amused grin still on her face.
Ian remained silent as they rode through the center of town. There was a canal with blue-ish water running perpendicular to the main street. After crossing the small canal bridge, he eyed larger commercial buildings to his left and even a park to his right. He finally saw some non-Team Skull people in the town, and they looked quite skinny.
"You see them, Ian?" Tupp said, pointing to a group of people pushing carts full of laundry bags looking positively miserable.
"Yeah?"
"They're the 'Dirtbags.' They're always covered in dirt or lugging around bags. It's the shittiest job in Po Town," Tupp then leaned in and began to whisper. "Make sure they let you be a trainer, else you gotta be one of those."
"Thanks for the heads up," Ian whispered back, giving Tupp another fist bump.
"Oi, recon team's back!" A uniformed grunt called out in an English accent as he did hand signs. Beside him stood what Ian recognized to be a Perrserker from the Galar region. The grunt's dark skin and tall, imposing demeanor made Ian tense for a moment.
Tupp quickly fired back hand signs of his own. "Waddup Stompz?"
"Good to see you, Stompz," Plumeria said plainly, which seemed to be as tender as Plumeria's tone got.
"Finally another tall bloke!" Stompz declared, eyes on Ian as he approached. "You think Guzma'll keep him?"
"I hope!" Tupp replied. "He's lookin' like Plumeria's new punching bag already," Tupp said with a chuckle.
Stompz the grunt gave a hearty, bellowing laugh. "Faller, you know what Pokemon are?"
"Yeah," Ian said with a nod.
"But he doesn't have any on him," Plumeria said grimly.
"Shit, that's not good these days," Stompz said. "Well chap, I know Po Town don't look like much, but it's a lot better place to be than most of the island. I'm lucky Plumeria scooped me up a couple months back instead of Surge's or Breon's lads."
Surge? Like Lieutenant Surge from Kanto? Ian nodded grimly. "Well it was either her or an Alpha Nidoking," Ian said.
"Nidoking? Shit lad, I lucked out. The Alpha in my Ultra Storm was a fookin' Furret," Stompz said, waving to the group as they continued on.
More Team Skull members seemed to lurk through the neighborhood on this side of the canal, be it walking on the street or sitting on the sidewalk. Parts of the fences were ripped in half, making easy entrances into various backyards. The fences that weren't ripped up had graffiti all over them. He noticed the word "Spine" in a lot of the graffiti and got curious. "Hey Tupp, what's up with all of the 'Spine' stuff on the fences?"
"Name of the street, yo," Tupp said, pointing at the road beneath them. "Used to be Main Street, but when things went to shit and Team Skull took over, Guzma re-named it."
"Gotcha," Ian said.
The mansion at the end of the main street stood taller above all of the other buildings in its proximity. The pole at the end of the intersection with what was likely the only pristine street sign in Po Town read "Shady Way." More Team Skull grunts skulked around the front yard where a number of rusty cars were parked on the unkempt lawn. Some windows were boarded up and dozens of bits of graffiti littered the outer walls. Looks just like it did in the games. A couple bandana adorned grunts in Team Skull uniforms stood at the entrance of the house, opening the double doors.
The entrance hall looked straight out of a scary movie. The hardwood was torn up in places, rugs were disheveled, stained, and frayed. There was no graffiti inside, but the chandelier only had half of its lights working, and dimmed every few seconds from what Ian assumed was an unsteady power supply.
Plumeria led him up stairs that had a few holes in them he had to be careful to avoid. They went through a dimly lit hallway with an imposing, larger door at the end. Ian felt his body tense as he got closer. Remember, Herdier, Krokorok, and Rufflet.
Plumeria pounded on the door loudly and was abruptly met with a cranky female voice shouting back "who is it?"
"It's me. Got a Faller in tow," Plumeria yelled back.
"Another one, really?" The annoyed female voice retorted.
Ian gulped nervously as the door opened, revealing a much more well-kept room with a platform raised two feet off the ground with a yellow throne of sorts, with the figure Ian expected to see sitting atop it. Guzma lounged on his throne, his back against one of the arms and his legs dangling off the side. Guzma's hair was dyed, with most of what was shown to be white, but his roots were black. His black jacket covered most of his upper body from the angle, but Ian could see a bit of white shirt around his collar. Guzma had a pair of large sunglasses resting on his forehead, and his baggy black pants had a pair of white X's on them at the knee.
A small, fuzzy creature scuttled around the base of the throne that gave Ian jump-scare. The hell is that? Gotta be a Bug Type since it's Guzma, but a hairy bug? Five orange horns protruded from the larvae's body like a crown and the lightbulb went off in his head. Larvesta! Plumeria cleared her throat in a way Ian could tell was to get him back to what was important.
Ian redirected his gaze to Guzma. The Team Skull boss eyed Ian rather lazily with his dark pupils, but there was a certain intensity that made Ian tense up. "A pizza boy?" Guzma finally asked with disinterest. "If Plumeria gets her way we'll have a whole restaurant staff here in Po Town. Too bad we got no restaurant."
Ian wasn't sure whether to speak, so he held his tongue, Guzma eyed him even more curiously before turning his neck to Plumeria. "He remember anything?"
"He does," Plumeria said. "He's from Unova. Nimbasa City to be exact."
"What part of Nimbasa?" Guzma asked.
"Some suburb. What was it again?" Plumeria asked.
"Elk Grove," Ian croaked, wishing his mouth wasn't so dry.
"You're a long way from home, kid," Guzma stated.
Ian nodded silently, not sure if his lack of speaking had more to do with respect or straight up fear. Maybe a bit of both.
"He was a Pokemon trainer," Plumeria said.
"Not a very good one if he was working at a pizza place," Guzma pointed out, smiling wickedly at Ian.
Ian realized this was probably his time to speak up, and opened his mouth. "Sir, I-"
"Don't sir me, we're not the fucking ASF," Guzma spat before sliding his legs toward Ian and Plumeria and standing up in a fluid motion as he perched on his upper platform, causing Larvesta to yelp and scurry behind the throne in a panic. "At least you know what Pokemon are. Good chunk of the Fallers we pick up never heard of them."
"He said there was an Alpha Nidoking in the Ultra Storm," Plumeria said.
"Alpha?" Guzma asked, his tone changing from disinterest, if only slightly. "You're lucky to be alive, pizza boy."
Ian nodded. "Yeah…"
Guzma gave him a perplexed look, and turned to Plumeria, who shrugged. "Pizza boy from some place called 'Elk Grove,' that's what you are." Guzma stepped down from his throne's platform and got close to Ian. "We're running low on food, and if Breon's not blocking the overland food aid shipments from Malie City, Sinclair's raiding the ones at sea," Guzma explained. "I don't need useless fucks in Po Town. Pretty soon we're not gonna have enough to go around with or without you anyways."
"I won't be useless," Ian promised.
"Were you really a trainer? I don't see any Poke Balls slots on your belt there, pizza boy."
"They have to be put away while I'm working," Ian explained nervously, trying not to blink too much. "When I went to bed, I put them on my bedside table, and when I woke up in the Ultra Storm, the table didn't come with me."
"Said he had three Pokemon," Plumeria chimed in.
"Three? What were they?" Guzma asked in a chilling whisper that wreaked suspicion and sent a shiver down Ian's spine.
"A Krokorok, a Herdier, and a Rufflet," Ian croaked.
Guzma scoffed. "Another grunt. I don't need that. Got too many of 'em around here anyways."
Ian's eyes lowered dejectedly, but he noticed next to the throne's platform was another raised platform, this one with a wooden treasure chest holding an assortment of gold and silver coins, along with jewels and a big red-
Star Piece!
"Mister Guzma-"
"You hear this, Plumeria? I'm mister Guzma now," Guzma said with a cackle. "We keep this up and little Prince Street Pizza boy here's gonna call me his fucking king."
"You got him scared shitless, boss, cut him a little slack," Plumeria said with a hint of disinterest.
Guzma rolled his eyes. "A little slack... Everyone asks me for that, but what happens when I ask for some?"
"People get hurt?" Ian asked.
"People die pizza boy," Guzma said hauntingly.
"Okay, boss," Ian said, hoping he could show respect without making him sound like a dumbass. "You got a nice treasure chest over there."
"I hope you're not getting any bad ideas, pizza boy," Guzma said with a horrifying smile on his face as his voice dropped to an intense whisper. "Or maybe I'm hoping you are."
"Not at all," Ian said, his voice cracking. "I want to add to that for you."
"Buying your way in?" Guzma asked. "You don't have your Pokemon, but you went to sleep with treasure?"
"No, but I did find something in the Ultra Storm…" Ian said, reaching for his back pocket and pulling out the dense, red, Star Piece.
Plumeria gasped. "You got that in the Ultra Storm?"
Guzma gave a sinister chuckle as a wicked smile crossed his face. "Well, well, pizza boy's got some tricks up his sleeve. Or in his pocket more like."
Ian bowed his head and held the Star Piece out. "This is yours now, boss," Ian said solemnly. "Can I be in Team Skull?"
Guzma cackled his sinister cackle and swiped the Star Piece from Ian's hand. "I'll take you in Po Town thanks to this Star Piece you're giving me, but no way you're in Team Skull."
What? Why?
"I need people with no fear. To survive in what this island's turned into, you gotta have balls. Not act like the little bitch you're being right now."
Ian remembered what Tupp had been trying to teach him before getting in here. Ian took a quiet breath and made direct eye contact with Guzma. "I'm not that guy, it's just been a really weird day-"
"Weird day my ASS!" Guzma fired back. "Every day on this fucking island is weird now. If you're not getting attacked by wild Pokemon, you're getting ambushed by the other fuckheads here. Oh, and your only escape route? Blocked by a damn Ultra Storm!" Guzma fearsomely ranted. "And if you train Pokemon like you're acting, I bet your Pokemon were bigger bitches than you're being right now," Guzma concluded.
Ian tensed, wracking his brain to find a way out of this without pissing Guzma off the wrong way. "Call me a bitch all you want, don't call my Pokemon bitches."
"And why's that, bitch?" Guzma spat.
Ian tried to remember what Pokemon were around Nimbasa, and he was having doubts whether the city he was thinking of was even the one. Too bad, gotta say it now. "Krokorok and I fought an Alpha Cofagrigus. I was a chaperone on a school trip to the ruins outside of town…" Ian explained.
"You fought an Alpha Cofagrigus with a Krokorok?" Guzma said skeptically.
"It knocked out the other chaperones' Pokemon," Ian said, trying to manifest memories of the completely fabricated experience in his mind. "Krokorok got a beating for the trouble, but we were able to bide time for everyone to escape."
"Real heroic, getting your ass kicked," Guzma said. "And you have a smooth enough brain to brag about it!"
"If Krokorok and I hadn't been there, a couple dozen kids would be dead," Ian said. Ian noticed in his peripheral vision that Plumeria put a hand under chin, looking slightly intrigued. "If I didn't have to work to support myself and my Pokemon, I would've been able to train way more and have way stronger Pokemon."
"Really, is that so?" Guzma asked with a voice more mocking than curious. "I'm gonna level with you, pizza boy. I don't believe that story for a fucking second..." Guzma paused, looking to Plumeria. He rolled his eyes with disdain but gave her a head nod. "...but I'll humor you. I'll give you three Poke Balls, and in two days you gotta catch three Pokemon or I'm sending your ass to Haina Town."
"Haina Town?" Ian asked, vaguely remembering the desert on Ula'Ula was called the same thing.
"If that bastard Breon's feeling merciful he'll only use you as a human shield for his next convoy raid," Guzma said.
I am so confused about this Breon guy… "Uh… okay. Three Pokemon." Shouldn't be too hard right? Throw a Poke Ball at a Pikipek-
"And no little bitch Pokemon like Yungoos or Pikipek," Guzma said. "Real shit, if you're a real trainer."
"Okay…" Ian said. "Do I get help or anything?"
"What? I thought you were a real trainer, you shouldn't need help!" Guzma spat.
Plumeria gave a momentary giggle and Ian turned to her. "We'll escort you, but we're not battling anything for you. If we step in, you lose."
Guzma scoffed. "There you go again with that bleeding heart of yours, Plumeria," Guzma taunted. "It'll get you fucked one day."
Plumeria folded her arms defiantly. "I just figured the recon team could use someone to be bait the next time we run into a pissed off Vikavolt."
Guzma laughed a sinister, villainous laugh and stared into Ian's eyes, mere inches away. "Well, I hope you don't regret this, pizza boy. Timer starts bright and early tomorrow morning," Guzma said, a sadistic glee in his voice.
"Let's go Ian," Plumeria said with a grimace, leading Ian out. He turned back for a moment and saw Larvesta crawling to Guzma's leg and Ian covered a yawn as he turned back around.
"Still sleepy?" Plumeria asked as she made her way down one of the manor's hallways.
"Yeah," Ian said.
"Happens with a lot of Fallers," Plumeria explained. "I'll have you room with Tupp and the boys in the bunkhouse tonight. Not sure how much sleep you'll be able to get with those knuckle heads. They're pretty loud."
"I doubt that'll be a problem," Ian said with a yawn, his eyes getting heavier after his adrenaline had stopped pumping. "I might fall asleep standing up."
"Bet."
Five minutes later as Tupp showed him his bunks, Ian gave Tupp a fist bump. "Bottom bunk's yours. Gotta earn a top bunk in here, yo."
Ian nodded. "Fine by me." Ian rolled into the bottom bunk, not caring for the blankets as he rested his head on the one uncomfortably firm pillow.
"You really trying to sleep now bro?" Tupp asked.
"Dude I am so fucking tired," Ian said. He heard the mattress springs squeak as he got settled, and even with his sweaty, dirty, work clothes still on, he heaved another sigh of relief. At least I have a chance here. Get some Pokemon, get out of this town when I can, and then who knows what after that. His eyelids seemed to glue shut as he drifted off to sleep. I'm really in the Pokemon world...
Ian kept his eyes fixed on the horizon which had become more littered with clouds, trying to ignore the soreness in his back from balancing on the back of Tupp's bike. While riding on the back, he realized the less he thought about keeping his balance, the easier it got.
"There it is!" Tupp announced to Ian, the twenty foot walls protecting the town began growing as the group of cycling Team Skull members pedaled closer. After a few agonizingly long minutes, Tupp's bike slowed as the walls of Po Town loomed over the group. Ian stepped off the bike's back protrusions, nearly tripping as his upper body's forward momentum overtook his legs. Tupp cruised by the other Team Skull members who came to halt on their bikes, and Tupp got right up to the gate and began pounding loudly on the metal, the thuds from his hands echoing like a drum. "We here, fools!" Tupp yelled.
"Finally," Ian said under his breath, his leg and back muscles sore from the awkward position he needed to take to stand on the back of the bike.
"C'mon fuckheads, we here!" Tupp called out, giving another barrage from his fists. He stopped abruptly and shook his hand tenderly.
"Nice one, idiot," Rapp teased.
"I'm hurrying them up," Tupp fired back, holding his hurt hand. "You should be thanking me."
A metallic sound came from behind the gate, which Ian assumed to be the unlocking mechanism.
Selene went up to Tupp with an overly-sweet smile on her face. "Gee, thank you so much, you're my hero!" Selene said, voice full of sarcasm. "Idiot," she grunted as she passed him.
With a loud rumble, the gates began opening inwards slowly, revealing an asphalt road. Ian followed the rest of the squad in, seeing a couple Team Skull grunts coming out from behind the gates, bandanas and beanies covering most of their distinguishing features. Ian noted one had light brown skin and the other had skin that looked like he was East Asian. Or whatever that is in the Pokemon world. As Ian took his first step into Po Town, the sun fittingly dimmed slightly as a cloud blocked it.
"Managed to keep this Faller from getting fried by another Vikavolt, Plumeria?" A high-pitched male voice teased. Ian turned to the source of the voice: a man a few years older than Ian but no beanie covered his curly brown hair, and no bandana covered his goatee-sporting face.
"This one's not a complete idiot, Rook," Plumeria said. "But only so much. We picked him up at the end of that Ultra Storm that started a couple hours back. He's got his memory and knows what Pokemon are."
"Lucky for him," Rook grunted dryly.
The sense of dread made his now hungry stomach nauseous, so he shifted his attention to the rest of the town while the rest of the group put their bikes against the wall. In the games, Po Town was just a couple columns of houses. But here it was an actual town. Over the fences separating each mostly dilapidated house, he caught a glimpse of the perimeter wall surrounding the town. The cloud blockage gave the run down houses an even more dingy feel.
"How big is this place?" Ian asked curiously to his new companions.
"Why you gotta know?" Hyde fired back, eyes glaring at Ian.
"Just curious man," Ian replied simply.
Tupp cleared his throat, getting Ian's attention, mouthing "say 'fuck you.'"
Ian chuckled lowly, but declined.
"Something funny, kid?" Hyde questioned.
Ian stopped, his amused smile flipping into a scowl. "Kid? You look younger than me."
Hyde scoffed. "You're a few months older than me, but you fuck around like a kid, so Imma call you kid."
He's questioning my manhood here. Might be part of the test. "What's your deal, Hyde? You trying to fight me or something?"
Hyde smirked. "I'd be down, but you got no Pokemon on you."
"Got fists right here," Ian said, squaring up. It had been a while since karate classes when he was eight. He now found himself wishing he'd stayed longer than a couple months.
"You think Imma get in a scrap with an obvious plant from the Unova Marines?" Hyde sneered.
Ian heard multiple gasps from the members around him, and he noticed even Plumeria seemed alarmed. "What?"
"The ASF's been more active on the island recently, and capturing Po Town would give them a major base to counter Breon and Haina Town, plus keep an eye on Surge," Hyde explained.
Ian's eyebrows rose in confusion. "What the fuck are you talking about, dude?"
"What an easy fucking plant, says he doesn't even know what the Unova Marines are and he's clearly from Unova. Your story smells, 'Faller,' if you even really are one."
"Marines?" Ian asked. Oh he means like the armed forces, like the military branch called "marines" back home. "Why would Unovan Marines be out here?"
Hyde scoffed. "What a joke! The Unovan Marines been makin' Alola their bitch for years and you don't know?"
Geopolitics of the Pokemon world? Time to shut up. "Hey man, I never got into politics or anything..."
Plumeria stepped forward. "Hyde, cool it. Unova doesn't exactly go around bragging about what they do here in Alola. He's clearly just an idiot anyways."
For once in his life, Ian was ready to embrace the "idiot" moniker if it meant getting this Hyde asshole off his back.
"Well before he sees the boss, we gotta search him," Hyde said. "Make sure he ain't hiding anything."
Ian put his hands up. "Do it. I've got nothing to hide-" Ian then suddenly remembered the Star Piece in his back pocket he'd picked up in the Ultra Storm he'd yet to reveal. Okay, maybe something. Ian then lifted up his shirt and pulled his pockets out of his jeans. "See, nothing on me."
"Might be hiding something somewhere else," Hyde observed.
A glimmer of inspiration hit him. "Hyde, you're being a real asshole, which is funny because in Unova we have a saying: 'you are what you eat.' You trying to eat my ass, Hyde? Just strip me down and go to town?"
Hyde scoffed. "Fuck you, fake-ass Faller."
This is too easy. "Okay, you want to fuck me. I'm just glad you stopped being subtle about it!" Ian announced with a shit-eating grin. He caught Plumeria stifling a laugh in his peripheral vision. "I'm not gay, but I'm very supportive of you all-"
Hyde reached for a poke ball, eyes filled with hatred.
"Stand down Hyde, he doesn't have any Pokemon," Plumeria barked, pulling one of her own Poke Balls from her belt.
"He's a spy, can't you see it?" Hyde pleaded aggressively, Ian noticing a shiny wristwatch on Hyde's hand that reflected the sun right into his eyes for a moment.
Something involving "the spy who shagged me" crossed his mind, but Ian figured they didn't have Austin Powers in the Pokemon world. "Okay Hyde, I'll let you eat my ass!" Ian announced as he turned around and stuck his behind out. "It might taste a little funny though because the last time I took a shit there wasn't a lot of toilet paper."
"Fuck you, asshat!" Hyde spat as Ian watched him turn around in a rage and stormed off. Finally.
When Hyde seemed out of earshot, Plumeria, Tupp, Selene, and Rapp began giggling like hyenas. Tupp put his arm around Ian. "Dude, you might be stupid, but you're pretty fucking funny." Ian put his fist up, which Tupp happily bumped.
"Let's keep moving," Plumeria said, an amused grin still on her face.
Ian remained silent as they rode through the center of town. There was a canal with blue-ish water running perpendicular to the main street. After crossing the small canal bridge, he eyed larger commercial buildings to his left and even a park to his right. He finally saw some non-Team Skull people in the town, and they looked quite skinny.
"You see them, Ian?" Tupp said, pointing to a group of people pushing carts full of laundry bags looking positively miserable.
"Yeah?"
"They're the 'Dirtbags.' They're always covered in dirt or lugging around bags. It's the shittiest job in Po Town," Tupp then leaned in and began to whisper. "Make sure they let you be a trainer, else you gotta be one of those."
"Thanks for the heads up," Ian whispered back, giving Tupp another fist bump.
"Oi, recon team's back!" A uniformed grunt called out in an English accent as he did hand signs. Beside him stood what Ian recognized to be a Perrserker from the Galar region. The grunt's dark skin and tall, imposing demeanor made Ian tense for a moment.
Tupp quickly fired back hand signs of his own. "Waddup Stompz?"
"Good to see you, Stompz," Plumeria said plainly, which seemed to be as tender as Plumeria's tone got.
"Finally another tall bloke!" Stompz declared, eyes on Ian as he approached. "You think Guzma'll keep him?"
"I hope!" Tupp replied. "He's lookin' like Plumeria's new punching bag already," Tupp said with a chuckle.
Stompz the grunt gave a hearty, bellowing laugh. "Faller, you know what Pokemon are?"
"Yeah," Ian said with a nod.
"But he doesn't have any on him," Plumeria said grimly.
"Shit, that's not good these days," Stompz said. "Well chap, I know Po Town don't look like much, but it's a lot better place to be than most of the island. I'm lucky Plumeria scooped me up a couple months back instead of Surge's or Breon's lads."
Surge? Like Lieutenant Surge from Kanto? Ian nodded grimly. "Well it was either her or an Alpha Nidoking," Ian said.
"Nidoking? Shit lad, I lucked out. The Alpha in my Ultra Storm was a fookin' Furret," Stompz said, waving to the group as they continued on.
More Team Skull members seemed to lurk through the neighborhood on this side of the canal, be it walking on the street or sitting on the sidewalk. Parts of the fences were ripped in half, making easy entrances into various backyards. The fences that weren't ripped up had graffiti all over them. He noticed the word "Spine" in a lot of the graffiti and got curious. "Hey Tupp, what's up with all of the 'Spine' stuff on the fences?"
"Name of the street, yo," Tupp said, pointing at the road beneath them. "Used to be Main Street, but when things went to shit and Team Skull took over, Guzma re-named it."
"Gotcha," Ian said.
The mansion at the end of the main street stood taller above all of the other buildings in its proximity. The pole at the end of the intersection with what was likely the only pristine street sign in Po Town read "Shady Way." More Team Skull grunts skulked around the front yard where a number of rusty cars were parked on the unkempt lawn. Some windows were boarded up and dozens of bits of graffiti littered the outer walls. Looks just like it did in the games. A couple bandana adorned grunts in Team Skull uniforms stood at the entrance of the house, opening the double doors.
The entrance hall looked straight out of a scary movie. The hardwood was torn up in places, rugs were disheveled, stained, and frayed. There was no graffiti inside, but the chandelier only had half of its lights working, and dimmed every few seconds from what Ian assumed was an unsteady power supply.
Plumeria led him up stairs that had a few holes in them he had to be careful to avoid. They went through a dimly lit hallway with an imposing, larger door at the end. Ian felt his body tense as he got closer. Remember, Herdier, Krokorok, and Rufflet.
Plumeria pounded on the door loudly and was abruptly met with a cranky female voice shouting back "who is it?"
"It's me. Got a Faller in tow," Plumeria yelled back.
"Another one, really?" The annoyed female voice retorted.
Ian gulped nervously as the door opened, revealing a much more well-kept room with a platform raised two feet off the ground with a yellow throne of sorts, with the figure Ian expected to see sitting atop it. Guzma lounged on his throne, his back against one of the arms and his legs dangling off the side. Guzma's hair was dyed, with most of what was shown to be white, but his roots were black. His black jacket covered most of his upper body from the angle, but Ian could see a bit of white shirt around his collar. Guzma had a pair of large sunglasses resting on his forehead, and his baggy black pants had a pair of white X's on them at the knee.
A small, fuzzy creature scuttled around the base of the throne that gave Ian jump-scare. The hell is that? Gotta be a Bug Type since it's Guzma, but a hairy bug? Five orange horns protruded from the larvae's body like a crown and the lightbulb went off in his head. Larvesta! Plumeria cleared her throat in a way Ian could tell was to get him back to what was important.
Ian redirected his gaze to Guzma. The Team Skull boss eyed Ian rather lazily with his dark pupils, but there was a certain intensity that made Ian tense up. "A pizza boy?" Guzma finally asked with disinterest. "If Plumeria gets her way we'll have a whole restaurant staff here in Po Town. Too bad we got no restaurant."
Ian wasn't sure whether to speak, so he held his tongue, Guzma eyed him even more curiously before turning his neck to Plumeria. "He remember anything?"
"He does," Plumeria said. "He's from Unova. Nimbasa City to be exact."
"What part of Nimbasa?" Guzma asked.
"Some suburb. What was it again?" Plumeria asked.
"Elk Grove," Ian croaked, wishing his mouth wasn't so dry.
"You're a long way from home, kid," Guzma stated.
Ian nodded silently, not sure if his lack of speaking had more to do with respect or straight up fear. Maybe a bit of both.
"He was a Pokemon trainer," Plumeria said.
"Not a very good one if he was working at a pizza place," Guzma pointed out, smiling wickedly at Ian.
Ian realized this was probably his time to speak up, and opened his mouth. "Sir, I-"
"Don't sir me, we're not the fucking ASF," Guzma spat before sliding his legs toward Ian and Plumeria and standing up in a fluid motion as he perched on his upper platform, causing Larvesta to yelp and scurry behind the throne in a panic. "At least you know what Pokemon are. Good chunk of the Fallers we pick up never heard of them."
"He said there was an Alpha Nidoking in the Ultra Storm," Plumeria said.
"Alpha?" Guzma asked, his tone changing from disinterest, if only slightly. "You're lucky to be alive, pizza boy."
Ian nodded. "Yeah…"
Guzma gave him a perplexed look, and turned to Plumeria, who shrugged. "Pizza boy from some place called 'Elk Grove,' that's what you are." Guzma stepped down from his throne's platform and got close to Ian. "We're running low on food, and if Breon's not blocking the overland food aid shipments from Malie City, Sinclair's raiding the ones at sea," Guzma explained. "I don't need useless fucks in Po Town. Pretty soon we're not gonna have enough to go around with or without you anyways."
"I won't be useless," Ian promised.
"Were you really a trainer? I don't see any Poke Balls slots on your belt there, pizza boy."
"They have to be put away while I'm working," Ian explained nervously, trying not to blink too much. "When I went to bed, I put them on my bedside table, and when I woke up in the Ultra Storm, the table didn't come with me."
"Said he had three Pokemon," Plumeria chimed in.
"Three? What were they?" Guzma asked in a chilling whisper that wreaked suspicion and sent a shiver down Ian's spine.
"A Krokorok, a Herdier, and a Rufflet," Ian croaked.
Guzma scoffed. "Another grunt. I don't need that. Got too many of 'em around here anyways."
Ian's eyes lowered dejectedly, but he noticed next to the throne's platform was another raised platform, this one with a wooden treasure chest holding an assortment of gold and silver coins, along with jewels and a big red-
Star Piece!
"Mister Guzma-"
"You hear this, Plumeria? I'm mister Guzma now," Guzma said with a cackle. "We keep this up and little Prince Street Pizza boy here's gonna call me his fucking king."
"You got him scared shitless, boss, cut him a little slack," Plumeria said with a hint of disinterest.
Guzma rolled his eyes. "A little slack... Everyone asks me for that, but what happens when I ask for some?"
"People get hurt?" Ian asked.
"People die pizza boy," Guzma said hauntingly.
"Okay, boss," Ian said, hoping he could show respect without making him sound like a dumbass. "You got a nice treasure chest over there."
"I hope you're not getting any bad ideas, pizza boy," Guzma said with a horrifying smile on his face as his voice dropped to an intense whisper. "Or maybe I'm hoping you are."
"Not at all," Ian said, his voice cracking. "I want to add to that for you."
"Buying your way in?" Guzma asked. "You don't have your Pokemon, but you went to sleep with treasure?"
"No, but I did find something in the Ultra Storm…" Ian said, reaching for his back pocket and pulling out the dense, red, Star Piece.
Plumeria gasped. "You got that in the Ultra Storm?"
Guzma gave a sinister chuckle as a wicked smile crossed his face. "Well, well, pizza boy's got some tricks up his sleeve. Or in his pocket more like."
Ian bowed his head and held the Star Piece out. "This is yours now, boss," Ian said solemnly. "Can I be in Team Skull?"
Guzma cackled his sinister cackle and swiped the Star Piece from Ian's hand. "I'll take you in Po Town thanks to this Star Piece you're giving me, but no way you're in Team Skull."
What? Why?
"I need people with no fear. To survive in what this island's turned into, you gotta have balls. Not act like the little bitch you're being right now."
Ian remembered what Tupp had been trying to teach him before getting in here. Ian took a quiet breath and made direct eye contact with Guzma. "I'm not that guy, it's just been a really weird day-"
"Weird day my ASS!" Guzma fired back. "Every day on this fucking island is weird now. If you're not getting attacked by wild Pokemon, you're getting ambushed by the other fuckheads here. Oh, and your only escape route? Blocked by a damn Ultra Storm!" Guzma fearsomely ranted. "And if you train Pokemon like you're acting, I bet your Pokemon were bigger bitches than you're being right now," Guzma concluded.
Ian tensed, wracking his brain to find a way out of this without pissing Guzma off the wrong way. "Call me a bitch all you want, don't call my Pokemon bitches."
"And why's that, bitch?" Guzma spat.
Ian tried to remember what Pokemon were around Nimbasa, and he was having doubts whether the city he was thinking of was even the one. Too bad, gotta say it now. "Krokorok and I fought an Alpha Cofagrigus. I was a chaperone on a school trip to the ruins outside of town…" Ian explained.
"You fought an Alpha Cofagrigus with a Krokorok?" Guzma said skeptically.
"It knocked out the other chaperones' Pokemon," Ian said, trying to manifest memories of the completely fabricated experience in his mind. "Krokorok got a beating for the trouble, but we were able to bide time for everyone to escape."
"Real heroic, getting your ass kicked," Guzma said. "And you have a smooth enough brain to brag about it!"
"If Krokorok and I hadn't been there, a couple dozen kids would be dead," Ian said. Ian noticed in his peripheral vision that Plumeria put a hand under chin, looking slightly intrigued. "If I didn't have to work to support myself and my Pokemon, I would've been able to train way more and have way stronger Pokemon."
"Really, is that so?" Guzma asked with a voice more mocking than curious. "I'm gonna level with you, pizza boy. I don't believe that story for a fucking second..." Guzma paused, looking to Plumeria. He rolled his eyes with disdain but gave her a head nod. "...but I'll humor you. I'll give you three Poke Balls, and in two days you gotta catch three Pokemon or I'm sending your ass to Haina Town."
"Haina Town?" Ian asked, vaguely remembering the desert on Ula'Ula was called the same thing.
"If that bastard Breon's feeling merciful he'll only use you as a human shield for his next convoy raid," Guzma said.
I am so confused about this Breon guy… "Uh… okay. Three Pokemon." Shouldn't be too hard right? Throw a Poke Ball at a Pikipek-
"And no little bitch Pokemon like Yungoos or Pikipek," Guzma said. "Real shit, if you're a real trainer."
"Okay…" Ian said. "Do I get help or anything?"
"What? I thought you were a real trainer, you shouldn't need help!" Guzma spat.
Plumeria gave a momentary giggle and Ian turned to her. "We'll escort you, but we're not battling anything for you. If we step in, you lose."
Guzma scoffed. "There you go again with that bleeding heart of yours, Plumeria," Guzma taunted. "It'll get you fucked one day."
Plumeria folded her arms defiantly. "I just figured the recon team could use someone to be bait the next time we run into a pissed off Vikavolt."
Guzma laughed a sinister, villainous laugh and stared into Ian's eyes, mere inches away. "Well, I hope you don't regret this, pizza boy. Timer starts bright and early tomorrow morning," Guzma said, a sadistic glee in his voice.
"Let's go Ian," Plumeria said with a grimace, leading Ian out. He turned back for a moment and saw Larvesta crawling to Guzma's leg and Ian covered a yawn as he turned back around.
"Still sleepy?" Plumeria asked as she made her way down one of the manor's hallways.
"Yeah," Ian said.
"Happens with a lot of Fallers," Plumeria explained. "I'll have you room with Tupp and the boys in the bunkhouse tonight. Not sure how much sleep you'll be able to get with those knuckle heads. They're pretty loud."
"I doubt that'll be a problem," Ian said with a yawn, his eyes getting heavier after his adrenaline had stopped pumping. "I might fall asleep standing up."
"Bet."
Five minutes later as Tupp showed him his bunks, Ian gave Tupp a fist bump. "Bottom bunk's yours. Gotta earn a top bunk in here, yo."
Ian nodded. "Fine by me." Ian rolled into the bottom bunk, not caring for the blankets as he rested his head on the one uncomfortably firm pillow.
"You really trying to sleep now bro?" Tupp asked.
"Dude I am so fucking tired," Ian said. He heard the mattress springs squeak as he got settled, and even with his sweaty, dirty, work clothes still on, he heaved another sigh of relief. At least I have a chance here. Get some Pokemon, get out of this town when I can, and then who knows what after that. His eyelids seemed to glue shut as he drifted off to sleep. I'm really in the Pokemon world...

