Pokémon Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Tales Of Arrival (PMD X Tales Of Symphonia)

[Umbramatic]

This fic is rated Teen for blood, mild gore, adults doing adult things like drinking and swearing, and some dirty jokes and such.

About time I had another B fic huh? (Greenhorn Prometheus doesn't count, it was a three-parter that was written out ahead of time, shhhhhhhh)


So, this is a fic that took me some come convincing to write, (I was never really that fond of the actual PMD games, though I generally like the fics better) but in the end I got attached to an idea and was like "hell, let's go."


I will be up front in saying this is a Tales Of Symphonia/Pokemon Mystery Dungeon crossover, and that you should note three things about that:


1.There will be some massive fucking spoilers for Tales Of Symphonia, especially around the character Kratos Aurion, so if you're particularly concerned about that then I recommend playing the game or watching an LP before reading this fic.


A. That said... If you have not played Tales Of Symphonia, do not care about spoilers relating to it, and are just here because you saw "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon" in the title, you should be fine - this fic is like at least 70% PMD, albeit a celebration of what I like about the genre and a satire of what I don't.


%. This is set in a PMD version of the Yangverse. It's fundamentally the same world, just with no humans and a lot of PMD elements added to compensate.


But anyway I should go ahead and get into this. But before I do big thanks to MasaeAnela and her Tales of Symphonia LP, without which this fic wouldn't have been possible. Here we go:


Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Tales Of Arrival

(Banner by Shinywolf! Cover by me)


Prologue: New Life


Kratos could see the vast darkness of space staring out before him.


Derris-Kharlan had been drifting for a long while. It'd be a while before it'd establish itself as a proper living planet. His communications with Yuan had ceased just the other day. He had already scattered Cruxis' Exspheres into space. He could barely see where he left in the sky anymore.


Normally he'd pretend it didn't hurt. But leaving everything behind-


No. He had to.


He looked in the direction in the sky Derris-Kharlan had drifted from. Lloyd. He was back there. Kratos wondered, hoped, that he and his gaggle of friends were doing alright.


He looked to where Derris-Kharlan was drifting in the cold void of space. This was the only place for him. He realized now the blood on his hands. The countless people Cruxis had killed he was complicit with.


He didn't deserve to stay home. He didn't deserve redemption. He didn't deserve a happy life with his son, the only family he had left.


As he thought this, however, he noticed a strange light in the dark, starry sky. Looking at it, he thought at first it was a comet or meteor shooting through the sky.


But then he realized it was heading through Derris-Kharlan's atmosphere at incredible speed.


Heading straight toward him.


He tried to get out of the way. But it was too late. The light consumed him.


-----------------


Kratos woke up in a colorful, pulsating, void. He couldn't feel his body. Almost like he was part of the void.


Then he heard a voice.


"Hello? Hello? Kratos, you there?"


"How do you know my name?" said Kratos.


"Oh, goody, it is you!" said the voice. "Listen, I know this is kind of sudden, but something's coming to my world and I need your help with it."


"...Why me?"


"You're... uniquely qualified. For multiple reasons. But before I bring you over I need to ask you some questions."


"I-"


"First question! Do you like groan-inducing puns?"


"...Spare me."


"You're lucky I can't think of one. Second question! Do you get bothered by noise and ruckus around you?"


"I try not to let it get to me."


"Hmmmm... Third question! Your friend is crying right in front of you! What made that happen?"


Kratos thought back to Mithos. To Yuan. To Lloyd.

"...It's probably my fault."


"Ouch. Not much of the self-esteem type. Question four! Do you occasionally consider yourself to be dull and overly cautious?"


"Of course not."


"Sure you aren't. Anyway, final question! Have you ever wanted to communicate with aliens from another planet?"


"I'm assuming you're one?"


"I will neither confirm nor deny."


"Hmmm... Some beings from my world came from the stars, but other than you, Derris-Kharlan hasn't encountered any aliens yet... so yes, I suppose."


"Okay! Hmmm, let's see, yes, yes... I think I have a form cooked up for you!"


"...Form?"


"Anyway, remember that question about the aliens and how you said you'd like to meet them?"


"Yes? I'm guessing wish granted."


"Yep! Wish granted."


The void turned a blinding white before Kratos lost consciousness again.

Chapter 1: Welcome To The World


Kratos stirred, groaned, and finally opened his eyes. What he saw was blue sky, much more blue than on Derris-Kharlan. He tilted his head a bit, saw trees, grass, and -


"Hey you! You're finally awake!"


What Kratos saw next to him was a small, black-and-red fox wearing a teal robe, with inquisitive blue eyes staring right at him.


"I was just about to get help... Are you OK?"


"Yes... I am alright," said Kratos. "Let me just..."


He sat up. And then realized he wasn't himself. His body was now much, much smaller in proportion to his head, and fuzzy. And his arms were... wings. Not like his old angel wings, like bat or dragon wings, with claws at the end instead of hands.


"How... How did this happen?"


"Someone must have knocked you out!" said the fox.


Kratos gave the fox a look.


"It must have been a feral Pokemon... Do you remember anything about it?"


"No... and I mean... What am I?"


The fox gasped. "Oh no! You must have amnesia! Uh, you're a Noibat! Though, not like any Noibat I've ever seen. Your colors are all different..."


"So I'm a creature known as a Noibat, then."


"Yeah! And I'm a Zorua! My name's Edbark. Do you remember yours?"


"...Yes. It's Kratos."


"Kratos? Huh. Sounds foreign. Well nice to meet you Kratos! I'll be sure to help get your memories back!"


"I don't need-"


"Come on! I'll take you to a doctor in the city."


"...Fine."


Edbark started to trot off. Kratos sighed and started to try and follow, only to stumble over. Edbark turned back and gasped.

"Oh no! You've forgotten how to walk!"


"I'm fine," said Kratos. "I just need to get used to this new body..."


"Come on," said Edbark. "I'll help you."


Edbark propped Kratos up with his back, then they walked away together.


------------


Eventually, the duo reached the outskirts of what seemed to be a city. There were many houses both small and large and dirt roads, as well as towering buildings which Kratos could only fathom a guess at the purpose of.


Having figured out how to walk by himself, Kratos went closer and saw the city was populated not by humans or elves or half-elves or dwarves or even angels, but by a staggering array of different animals, plants, and even inanimate objects, all moving around as if they were people.


"What... is this place?" said Kratos. "And what are these creatures?"


"This is Rainbow Wing City!" said Edbark. "And man, that amnesia really got to you... These are Pokemon! You're a Pokemon, I'm a Pokemon..."


"I thought you said I was a Noibat and you were a Zorua."


"Noibat and Zorua are both kinds of Pokemon silly!"


"...I see."


The two continued further on into Rainbow Wing City, passing various buildings and a great variety of Pokemon. Kratos marveled at the bazaars and shops and facilities run by colorful creatures he couldn't even count. Eventually the two reached what seemed to be a castle - Kratos noticed one of two in the city, along with a cathedral.


"And this place is..." said Kratos.


"The Adventurer's Guild!" said Edbark."They can help you out!"


Edbark dragged Kratos inside. Kratos noticed more facilities and corridors and dormitories inside, as well as what seemed to be an... Inn? With a bar?


Eventually Edbark dragged Kratos into a central room. Seated at the end of the room was a strange, cream-and-green mustelid-like creature wearing a red vest, flanked by two floating grayish blue automaton-like beings.


"Guildmaster, it's Edbark!" said one.


"And... some Noibat?" said another.


"I see, I see," said the mustelid. He approached the duo. "Edbark my boy! Who do you have here?"


"Guildmaster Stoakes!" said Edbark. "This is Kratos! Poor guy has amnesia! All he can remember is his own name... You gotta help him!"


Kratos was about to object that no, he did not have amnesia, he remembers the last four thousand years or so up until this point fine, but then he realized they probably weren't going to listen and decided to just roll with it.


"Hmm, amnesia, huh?" said Stoakes, scratching his chin. "He'll need some rest and recovery... But the Adventurer's Guild never turns down a person in need. He can stay here, we'll have Nurse Betania take a look at him."


"Yay! Thank you, Guildmaster Stoakes!" said Edbark. He turned to Kratos. "These guys have got you covered. I'll be back!"


He scampered off, and the two automatons escorted Kratos to another room as Stoakes followed.


---------------


A large pink oval with white tufts on her body and an egg nestled in a pouch on her belly now looked Kratos over. She looked him up, down, and sideways as she prodded and investigated his head and body. Kratos begrudgingly obliged as Stoakes watched.


"Well," said the pink oval, who was apparently Nurse Betania, "This is odd. He doesn't seem to have head trauma or other trauma or any injuries at all! How the hell does he have amnesia?"


"Well I wouldn't know." said Kratos.


Stoakes thought to himself a bit. "There's one possibility... Some nefarious Pokemon, somehow, wiped his memories."


"Well that gives us fuck-all evidence as to who!" said Betania, huffing.


"It seems it can't be helped." said Stoakes. He sighed, then turned to Kratos. "My offer for you to stay here still stands. Though... what do you remember?"


Kratos paused to think of a convincing reply. "...My name, Kratos Aurion. And apparently your language, basic functions of living, certain basic concepts... I remember nothing of this world or its people."


"Hm. Awfully specific memory wipe," said Stoakes. "Whoever did this to you must have had a very strange goal in mind... Nevertheless, you're safe with the Adventurer's Guild."

"Thank you."


"Hmph. Adopting another one, I see, Stoakes," said Betania.


"It can't be helped! Rule Number 1 of the Adventurer's Guild! Always help those in need, no matter who they are!"


Kratos was suddenly reminded of his son Lloyd's fondness for the Dwarven Vows. "I appreciate it."


"Besides," said Stoakes. "You came to Rainbow Wing City at a good time! The Seeking is soon! There will be a big festival and everything!"


"The Seeking?"


"I'll let Edbark explain that one, he gets excited about old myths and legends and stuff like that. Anyway, we should probably find you a room..."


He led Kratos out of the infirmary and down the stony hall to a set of rooms.


"Here's an empty dormitory. Since we're hosting you, you get to stay free of charge here instead of at the inn."


"Thank you for your generosity."


"No problem, Kratos! Come to us for anything you need!"


He headed off. Kratos paused, then sat on the bed of his new room and stared off into space.


What the hell was going on?


--------------


And there you have it, the beginning of this crossover adventure! Before I go, some art:


Edbark by ToonIRL


Guildmaster Stoakes by @canisaries


The Banner ft. Kratos by Shinywolf

This will update in rough alternation with Heroes After All until one of them finishes in like 3000 years. Stay tuned!

 

[Tanuki]

This fic is so delightful. I was laughing nearly every paragraph (even despite wanting to emmaciate you for that quote when Kratos woke up), and your style of prose really works to sell it. Short, bouncy, it's nice.

Nice, and, clearly intentional, as the prologue clearly displays you have the capacity for more serious, introspective prose. I'd imagine, as the story goes along, you'll have opportunities to utilize that juxtaposition further to really sell certain story beats.

Some of your dialogue tags are a bit unneccessary, though. When an entire paragraph is about what one character's doing, it makes sense that the dialogue in that paragraph is that character's. You would only really need a tag if it weren't that character's dialogue. Doing away with excessive tags could help with the more simple style of it.

> Kratos was about to object that no, he did not have amnesia, he remembers the last four thousand years or so up until this point fine, but then he realized they probably weren't going to listen and decided to just roll with it.

Marvelous. Just hilarious. The juxtaposition between Kratos's reality, the kidish and fun pokémon world, it's just so good. I can just imagine the stares had he said, "Actually, I remember the past four thousand years just fine," despite being a base evolution.

One tiny tweak, though, if I may, is I'd separate it into two sentences at the "but". Yes, I know starting a sentence with a conjunction is illegal. But it can really sell the rhythm and thus the impact of the joke when you add a full stop before his reasoning behind keeping his truth a secret. Plus, playing fast and loose with grammar rules a bit more would go just wonderfully with your style.

Really great start! I'm excited to see more! I've never played tales of Symphonia, so I'm in the dark on any references to that, but at least I know what most of the pokémon look like (especially with your simplistic descriptions underscoring the humor if their simple designs. "A pink oval staring down at him," just perfect). I hope you keep it up; this is great.

 

[Umbramatic]

This fic is so delightful. I was laughing nearly every paragraph (even despite wanting to emmaciate you for that quote when Kratos woke up), and your style of prose really works to sell it. Short, bouncy, it's nice.

Nice, and, clearly intentional, as the prologue clearly displays you have the capacity for more serious, introspective prose. I'd imagine, as the story goes along, you'll have opportunities to utilize that juxtaposition further to really sell certain story beats.

Some of your dialogue tags are a bit unneccessary, though. When an entire paragraph is about what one character's doing, it makes sense that the dialogue in that paragraph is that character's. You would only really need a tag if it weren't that character's dialogue. Doing away with excessive tags could help with the more simple style of it.

> Kratos was about to object that no, he did not have amnesia, he remembers the last four thousand years or so up until this point fine, but then he realized they probably weren't going to listen and decided to just roll with it.

Marvelous. Just hilarious. The juxtaposition between Kratos's reality, the kidish and fun pokémon world, it's just so good. I can just imagine the stares had he said, "Actually, I remember the past four thousand years just fine," despite being a base evolution.

One tiny tweak, though, if I may, is I'd separate it into two sentences at the "but". Yes, I know starting a sentence with a conjunction is illegal. But it can really sell the rhythm and thus the impact of the joke when you add a full stop before his reasoning behind keeping his truth a secret. Plus, playing fast and loose with grammar rules a bit more would go just wonderfully with your style.

Really great start! I'm excited to see more! I've never played tales of Symphonia, so I'm in the dark on any references to that, but at least I know what most of the pokémon look like (especially with your simplistic descriptions underscoring the humor if their simple designs. "A pink oval staring down at him," just perfect). I hope you keep it up; this is great.

Hey there! Glad you like the sense of humor, and good to have you along for the ride!

...And the ride continues now! I was gonna update Heroes After All next but I ran out of steam after that had a constant stream of updates for a while. So I decided to work on this fic instead. Here is where things start picking up:


Chapter 2: Seeking Feeling


Kratos woke up on the bed he was provided. He checked himself quickly. Still was stuck in the form this strange "Noibat" creature. It wasn't a dream. He still had no clue what was going on. He sighed.


He heard a knock on the door. He went over to check and opened it.It was Edbark.


"Hey Kratos! I gotta show you around!"


Kratos sighed. "Please, show me around."


Edbark dragged him by the wing, taking him everywhere, explaining everything too fast for Kratos to fully process - the sleeping quarters they came from, game rooms, strategy rooms, the guildmaster's quarters - wasn't he just here yesterday? - the storeroom for equipment, the storeroom for food and items, sentry posts, the infirmary - he was also there yesterday - the vendors outside, bathrooms...


Finally they came to a mess hall, attached to a kitchen and a bar. In the kitchen a strange apple-pie-dragon was busy cooking despite his squat body while a spiny purple rhino-rabbit handed drinks to thirsty Pokemon.


"And this is where everyone eats and drinks! Oh, you probably need breakfast, don't you?"


"I-"


Kratos' stomach rumbled. It seemed this new body needed food more than his angel one.


"...Yes please."


"Okay! Come on we'll get you something."


Edbark and Kratos headed over to the apple pie dragon, who was shovelling mush into bowls from atop a platform.


"Hey Chef Bramley! What have we got today?"


"Oh, Edbark!" said Bramley, his ear-like eyes perking up to take a look. "And... a new friend?"


"This is Kratos! You're serving your special spiced oatmeal porridge today yes? We'll have some!"


"Oh, of course! Coming right up!"


Using his mouth to manipulate a ladle Bramley scooped oatmeal porridge into two bowls he sprinkled strange colorful beans on top of before pushing toward the two.


"With complimentary Gummis. Enjoy!"


"Thank you!" said Edbark.


Edbark carefully manipulated the bowl with his paws, moving it towards a table. Kratos gripped the bowl in his wing claws and followed, finding a purple rat in loose bits of clothing and armor already there.


"Hey Edbark!" he said. "'Bout time you got here!" He raised an eyebrow at Kratos. "Who's this?"


"Hey Ricki! This is Kratos!" said Edbark. "I found him unconscious with barely any memories outside of town... Only knew he wasn't a feral by his weird coloring and the belts he was wearing."


"Yes, that's me, the poor poor amnesiac," Kratos said.


"Ow, geez, that's rough," said Ricki. "Well you can sit with us, we'd appreciate the company!"


Kratos noticed the three of them were sitting far away from any other Pokemon, save the ones at the bar.


"Why are you two by yourselves?"


Riki rolled his eyes. "We haven't formed a proper Adventurer Squad yet. They think they're better than us."


Edbark looked to a small blue canine sitting across from them a fair distance away.


"Uh, hey, Stella? You can still totally join us!"


Stella gave them a look before scooching further away.


"Why do you even bother trying to convince her, Edbark?" said Ricki. "She's cold as ice. Stick in the mud. She's never wanted to even acknowledge us."


He looked over to Kratos. "You rescued this guy right? Recruit him instead!"


"What? Hell no!" said Edbark. "He's got amnesia! I can't ask him to be on an Adventurer Squad! And even if I did the Guildmaster would never allow it!"


"Well, why would you need me?" said Kratos.


"Every new Adventurer Squad needs to be approved by the Guildmaster himself," said Ricki. "And he won't approve of just me and Edbark by ourselves! We've tried!"


"So we've been looking for a third mon to hopefully convince him we've got what it takes," said Edbark. "But no luck."


"It's stupid is what I tell you," said Ricki. "Stoakes has approved two-person Adventurer Squads before! It's like, the minimum, and he recommends three or four, but still."


Kratos thought to himself. Did he really need to babysit a bunch of children again? Especially when neither of them were his son?


"Well, good luck with that," said Kratos.


Edbark sighed. "It sucks... The opening ceremony of the Seeking is tonight! If we don't get our act together by the time everyone sets off for it we'll have to wait another year!"


Kratos raised an eyebrow. Didn't Stoakes mention that? "The Seeking?"


"Oh no no no," said Riki, "don't get him going he'll-"


Too late. Edbark turned toward Kratos, eyes sparkling.


"The Seeking is the most wonderful thing! Everyone gets together for a big festival! The queen of Spectroma - that's the nation Rainbow Wing City is the capital of - shows up! Ho-Oh himself shows up! And then shooting stars called Reality Shards fall out of the sky and Adventurer Squads have to gather them all for a big ritual to stave off the darkness!"


Kratos barely stopped himself from frowning. Something about this seemed familiar in a way he didn't like.


"I see. Fascinating."


"Ha! Kratos gets me!" said Edbark.


"Whatever," said Ricki, nibbling his oatmeal porridge, making sure to eat the strange jellybean-like items along with it. Kratos poked at his.


"What are these beans?"


"Those are gummis!" said Edbark, eating some himself. "They're what makes Poke-society go round!"


"How so?" said Kratos.


"Oh no you're going to get him going again with the expo-"


"They're one of the things made from the leftovers of a Mystery Dungeon! They make a Pokemon's brain less feral, so Pokemon can live and work together without, you know, trying to kill or eat each other!"


Concerning. "Mystery Dungeon?"


"They're these big warps in reality that turn the surrounding area into a hazardous dungeon! They spread like a disease and can only be destroyed by going to the bottom and destroying the core!"


Kratos disliked what he heard about this world the longer he stayed here.


"I see, thank you."


"Can we eat now?" said Ricki, looking at his porridge longingly.


"Yeah, I'm done," said Edbark, "Unless Kratos has any more questions.


"I know all I need to for now," said Kratos.


He started hesitantly eating his porridge and Gummies. He felt he was going to get involved in something eventually. He just wasn't sure what.


And that? That scared him.


-----------


In a dark throne room, a Decidueye sat, looking around from her throne. Mainly because she was bored, waiting for something.


Finally something did come, in the form of a Steenie, in a uniform, looking very nervous. The Decidueye leered down at her.


"Are the preparations ready?"


"Y-yes Empress Nyra, they're all ready for tomorrow."


"Good. The Seeking is tomorrow. We must make sure it all goes exactly as planned."


The Steenie shifted awkwardly. Nyra rolled her eyes.

"Yes?"


"Since I helped get this done, Empress... Would you put in a word for me to advance in the ran-"


Thunk.


The Steenie froze in place as a shadowy arrow stopped just shy of hitting them.


"No. Your boldness entertained me so I let you off light. You'd best get out of here before I decide on more painful ways of using you for entertainment."


The Steenie yelped and exited the throne room as quickly as she could. The door closed behind her with a bang.


Nyra slouched and gave a bird smirk.


----------


The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Kratos was now being dragged from the Adventurer's Guild by Edbark, Ricki in tow, to a public stage in the middle of the city built around an altar. The trio sat in special nooks built into the stands as more Pokemon piled in.


There was murmuring among the crowd. Then cheering as a strange pastel witch-like Pokemon wearing jewels on her "hat" and a lemur holding a cane came up to the altar.


"Look! It's Queen Ceridwen! And her assistant Pari Passu!" said Edbark.

"Come on, Edbark, I'm sure even Mr. Amnesiac knows them!" said Ricki.


"I don't, actually," said Kratos.


"...Carry on then," said Ricki.


"People of Spectroma!" said Ceridwen. "It is time once again for the grand festival of all realms, the Seeking!"

The crowd's applause became even more raucous.


"Tonight, the stars shall fall, lighting a path for our brave Adventurer Squads... And joining us for this event..."


A rainbow glow. A flapping of wings. A massive orange and gold bird with iridescent shimmering feathers alight upon the altar. Kratos sensed great power emanating from it, greater than the angelic power he once had.


Then it looked straight at him and paused. Kratos could feel a tingling down his tiny bat spine, as if this bird's eyes could see who he truly was.


"Who... Is that?"


"Ho-oh..." said Edbark, entranced.


"He's the patron Legendary of Spectroma," said Ricki. "He's like, a god..."


A god? Kratos remembered the lies of Cruxis, the ones Yggdrasil spun, the ones he partook in. What qualified as a god was rather nebulous to him. Yet this Ho-Oh, at the very least, felt like one.


"Greetings, all of you," said Ho-Oh. "It is an honor to be with you all. May your strongest hearts, souls, and minds be ready for the Seeking... and for the rest of you to be ready to celebrate!"


He gestured a wing toward the starry sky.


"But let us watch and wait for the Reality Shards to fall!"


The crowd fell into utter silence as their heads looked up at the stars. For a while - Kratos couldn't tell how long - everything was dead silent.


Then a sparkling green streak soared through the sky and touched down far away. Then another. And another. The cheering resumed as more and more kept raining down.


"Are those..." said Kratos.


"Reality Shards!" said Edbark. "They say Arceus themself makes them!"


"Arceus? Who is tha-"


There was a rumble. A red and purple shooting star far different from the others careened through the sky and landed somewhere distant with a boom. There were gasps of horror and shock as the crowd - and even Ho-Oh, Cerwiden, and Pari Passu started panicking.


"Is that not supposed to happen?" said Kratos.

"It is definitely not supposed to happen!" said Ricki. "What was that thing?"


Then Kratos felt it. Not only was Ho-oh staring into his very being again, Cerwiden was too. Pari Passu, meanwhile, was trying desperately to calm the crowd.


"Everyone! Calm yourselves! It's probably nothing! Maybe! Oh, of all the times something goes wrong it has to be the Seeking..."


-----------------


The group had made it back to the Adventurer's Guild. The Pokemon around them were murmuring to each other in worry.


"How did this happen?"


"Is this an omen? Of what?"


"Did the Empire do this?"


Kratos' sharp ears picked up on the empire thing but did not act on it. He was too focused on Ricki and Edbark.


"What are we gonna do?!" said Edbark.


"We can't do jack shit!" said Ricki. "We have no clue what's going on!"


"Easy, you two," said Kratos. "We'll figure something out..."


Kratos felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around. It was Guildmaster Stoakes.


"Er? Kratos? Unusual request at a time like this but... You have an audience with the Queen. And Ho-Oh himself."


Edbark and Ricki gasped.

"Wow really? Cool!" said Edbark.


"What does she want him for though?"


Kratos sighed. He should have seen this coming.


--------------


Kratos was led by Stoakes and his two assistants, to the second castle, through winding hallways, to a throne room where he saw quite the menagerie.


Queen Cerwiden was there. Pari Passu was there. Ho-Oh, sitting on a gilded perch, was there.


"What do you all want with me?" said Kratos.


"My apologies for dragging you in so suddenly," said Cerwiden, "But Ho-oh sensed something strange and powerful about you, I did as well, and given the situation... We needed to investigate."


"We sensed something unusual about him as well," said one of the Metang.


"Yeah!" said the other Metang. "Like his brainwaves were giving off real freaky vibes!"


"Ferrite, Pearlite, you could have told me that earlier..." said Stoakes, crossing his arms.


"Point is," said Ho-Oh, "Kratos. Who are you? And what do you know, if anything, about that meteor? Is it the Empire's doing?"


"Who I am is complicated. But I do not know anything about this meteor. Nor this empire."


Kratos felt his mind being probed from multiple directions.


"He is telling the truth." said Ferrite.


"No lies here!" said Pearlite.


"What did I tell you two about probing people's brains without asking?" said Stoakes.


The two slunk back in shame.


"Sorry..." said Pearlite.


"We won't do it again." said Ferrite.


"So you are a separate debacle from the meteor and the empire..." said Pari Passu. "Regardless, Lord Ho-Oh's question of "who are you" still stands. We can deal with "complicated"."


Kratos sighed. Then he told them everything. The last four thousand years or so, Mithos, Yggdrasil, Yuan, Anna, Lloyd, Lloyd's friends, the quest they all went through... the only thing he left out (since he did not feel the probing Psychic presence of Ferrite and Pearlite) was any mention that none of those involved were Pokemon. By the end of his very long tale the jaws of all the other Pokemon had dropped in shock.


"Incredible... You're a Legendary from another world and you were sent here..." said Cerwiden. "But why?"


Legendary? Kratos certainly wouldn't describe himself as such. "Your guess is as good as mine. The voice didn't tell me."


"This voice could still be affiliated with the Empire!" said Pari Passu. "It could be part of their plan!"


"It could be," said Cerwiden, "But this Kratos gives off a feeling he is not against us. He could help."


"Well what do you suppose he do?" said Parri Passu.


"Hmmmm... Perhaps he could help us investigate the meteor," said Ho-Oh.


"That's a good idea!" said Stoakes. "Given what he's been through he'll be well at home in an Adventurer Squad."


"Hmph," said Pari Passu. "Well Kratos? Are you up for it?"


"I accept," said Kratos.


"See, he's not up for it, time to find someone el- wait, really?"


"As Stoakes said I'm... Qualified."


"We are grateful for your assistance, Kratos Aurion," said Cerwiden, bowing.


"Alright!" said Stoakes. "I'll get you signed up with one of our most skilled Adventurer Squads straight away!"


Kratos thought a bit. About Loyd, Genis, Collete, Sheena, the others...


"Actually," said Kratos. "I want Edbark and Ricki's help."


Stoakes' eyes widened. Ferrite and Pearlite looked at each other in disbelief. "Those two?" said Stoakes."They aren't fit to form an Adventurer Squad just yet!"


"Not by themselves maybe," said Kratos. "But as you could ascertain from my tale I have seen young people like them do great things. And if I were to help them..."


Stoakes put a paw to his chin. "Now you mention what you said about your son and his friends I can kinda see your logic. Hm..."


He nodded.


"I think we can make this work."


-----------------------


Some time later, back at the Adventurer's Guild, Edbark and Ricki stared at Kratos and Stoakes.


"So wait," said Edbark. "Kratos is being sent on a big mission to investigate the meteor during the Seeking... and he wants our help?"


"He said he thinks you two have potential!" said Stoakes. "And honestly, about time I give you two a shot at the Adventurer Squad life."


"...Holy shit." said Ricki. "We made it!"


"Woo!" said Edbark. "Finally! Thanks a ton Kratos!"


"Don't start celebrating just yet," said Kratos. "The road ahead will be hard. I was assigned partially to prepare you for it."


"Right, right," said Ricki, nodding.


"Also! Before I forget..." said Stoakes.


He produced three small badges with a Rainbow Wing insignia on them.


"These are your Guild badges! If you need help, use these to Teleport back to the guild anytime from a waypoint or inside a dungeon!"


Edbark and Ricki took the badges eagerly, Kratos less eagerly.

"We won't let you down Guildmaster Stoakes!" said Edbark.


"Or at least we'll try not to!" said Ricki.


Stoakes chuckled. "Well at the very least I and Kratos have your back. But... don't you all need a team name?"


"Oh! Oh, uh, this is hard..." said Ricki.


"Hey! Why don't we let Kratos pick?" said Edbark. "He's the reason we're in this team in the first place."


Kratos did a headtilt. Then thought. And thought. And thought some more. Until something finally came to him.


"Team Symphonia."


"That... actually has a nice ring to it," said Ricki.


"We'll take it!" said Edbark.


Stoakes nodded. "Alright, we gave Kratos some instructions on where to go to start off with but you two know the maps better than he does, so help him if he gets lost, okay?"


"Got it!" said Edbark.


"Well, you three best get prepared. Good luck out there. May Ho-oh's wingbeats guide you."


Ricki and Edbark nodded and waved Stoakes off as they left, Kratos following. One thought was on his mind.


Something was inevitably going to go wrong. Probably multiple somethings. He needed to be prepared - and he needed to prepare Edbark and Riki.


****


At last our heroes are on the move! But what will they find? Find out next time! ...Whenever that is.

 

[windskull]

Prologue
Huh, you know, I think this is the first pmd fic that I’ve read that makes use of the quiz at the beginning. I’ve come across a couple previously, but I haven’t had time to read them. I kind of feel like in a general PMD story, it tends to get in the way, playing too close to game mechanics. But in this case, as someone with very limited knowledge of Tales of Symphonia (I’m like… 2 hours into the game as of this point), I think it works in the story’s favor since it gives me just enough establishing information about Kratos to know where in his personal story this starts from and establishes enough about him that I have an idea of what I’m getting into.


Ch 1

"Hey you! You're finally awake!"

-Squints-

I’m getting a kick out of Edbark’s dialogue. He strikes me as a bit of a parody on the overly helpful and expository NPC. I do hope we get to see a bit more about him shine through eventually, though.

Eventually Edbark dragged Kratos into a central room.

I feel like there should be a comma after “Eventually.”

I do feel like, if you’re not going to immediately name the species of a pokemon within the narration (which makes sense since it’s from Kratos’ pov) and not name the species pretty soon after, you would do well to put a little more description into their appearance, or else name them at least somewhat shortly afterward. For example, while Betania, Edbark, and were easy enough to guess, and I was able to work out that the two automatons were either metang or beldum, I was scraping my brain trying to figure out what species Stoaks was. It clicked when I saw the art of him again, but for a reader that might not have seen that, trying to figure out what pokemon he was might be a bit more difficult, or even distracting.

I appreciate that they pointed out that this didn’t really seem like amnesia.

I kind of wish we got a little more introspection from Kratos near the end of the chapter. We get a little, in the form of his snappy thought. But I wish we had just a sentence or two more of him trying to process everything before he settles on “What the hell is going on?”

Ch 2
Looking at this as a crossover, I think it’s probably a good idea that you did cursory explanations for things like Mystery Dungeons, both to explain the differences between canon and your version (which, by the way, the core concept is a neat idea - though I don’t know if it’s based off of TOS or not) and to give people that are more experienced with TOS an idea of the basics of PMD.

"Unless Kratos has any more questions.

Missing a quote mark at the end here.

He started hesitantly eating his porridge and Gummies. He felt he was going to get involved in something eventually. He just wasn't sure what.

Unless intentional, using He to start so many sentences in a row can come off as kind of bland and repetitive prose. I only see this pop up in this one spot though, so it's an isolated issue, not a problem throughout the whole story.

Now that I’ve caught up, I’ll say I am enjoying this. It definitely comes across as a fairly lighthearted story that playfully ribs on some of the more silly PMD tropes. Execution-wise, I’d consider this story fairly good. For the type of story it is (or at least, I think it is based on current developments), the level of detail and description is fine, aside from my nitpick on pokemon descriptions.

I think my only significant complaint is that, as of right now, some of the characters feel pretty flat. Edbark, for example, just feels like “the exposition guy.” Of course, you’re only two chapters in, so it may be a little early to make that judgment and he’ll probably get a chance to shine as the story progresses, but I felt it was worth pointing out.

Regardless, consider me intrigued by the plot at this point. I’ll try to hop in and give another review once a few more chapters have been posted.

 

[Tanuki]

I'm conflicted. I do like your short, simple style if sentences, but they always jump from one point straight on to the next. They keep the lighthearted tone, but don't let any moments have weight behind them. There's not enough time to worry about one thing before you jump to the next.

This leads to a problem with pacing. Everything's happening just a bit too fast. They're already off on their adventure in chapter two? You introduced the conflict of them not being able to form a team in the same chapter you resolve it. There's no tension there.

Most of your jokes land well—"Don't get him started on the expo-"—and most had me chuckle, or outright laugh. The story's a comedy and the humor works. Yet, some underlying tension could really help the great humor stand out that much more.

This chapter could do with a lot more fleshing out of the scenes. Not so much as to make it drag, but just a bit more to pull me into the story. You describe pokémon well, but the environments are just blank. I know what a mess hall looks like, sure, but I wanna know what your mess hall looks like.

You've got something good here. I think these few tweaks could really help add to the reading experience. Keep at it! You're on the right track.

 

[Virgil134]

Crossposting from Serebii:

I should probably update my formatting by now yeah...

Well, I am glad you are considering changing it, though chapter 2 still had the same issue I’m afraid.

He went over to check and opened it.It was Edbark.

Missing a space between these two sentences.

Edbark carefully manipulated the bowl with his paws, moving it towards a table. Kratos gripped the bowl in his wing claws and followed, finding a purple rat in loose bits of clothing and armor already there.

I think this part could have used a bit more description, since I had to read this twice to understand that you were trying to say that Edbark took the food from the kitchen to a nearby table where Ricki was already sitting.

"Yes, that's me, the poor poor amnesiac," Kratos said.

Well aren’t we snarky today?

Kratos thought to himself. Did he really need to babysit a bunch of children again? Especially when neither of them were his son?


"Well, good luck with that," said Kratos.

Lmao

"Oh no you're going to get him going again with the expo-"

Always good for a fic to have some self-awareness

"They're these big warps in reality that turn the surrounding area into a hazardous dungeon! They spread like a disease and can only be destroyed by going to the bottom and destroying the core!"

I still like the idea that going into Mystery Dungeons is basically a mission to get to the end and destroy it to bring an area back to normal. It is different and I just know you will have some fun with it later down the line.

"No. Your boldness entertained me so I let you off light. You'd best get out of here before I decide on more painful ways of using you for entertainment."

Well that is not very nice. Though looks like we got our first villain!

A red and purple shooting star far different from the others careened through the sky and landed somewhere distant with a boom.

This reminds me of the Wishing Stars from Sword and Shield, especially since the colors seem to match up. That said, I doubt this is related given that you came up with the concept of this fic before Gen 8 came out, but hey it is still a fun coincidence.

"Did the Empire do this?"

Given the scene with the evil Empress prior to this happening, I’d say there is a 99.9% it is lol.

"We can't do jack ****!"

Looks like this chapter also had a word that didn’t make it past the swear filter.

"Point is," said Ho-Oh, "Kratos. Who are you?

Huh, I guess Ho-Oh did not bring him here after all? Unless he is pretending, but that would of course raise the question why. There doesn’t really seem to be a reason for him to.

Then he told them everything. The last four thousand years or so, Mithos, Yggdrasil, Yuan, Anna, Lloyd, Lloyd's friends, the quest they all went through... the only thing he left out (since he did not feel the probing Psychic presence of Ferrite and Pearlite) was any mention that none of those involved were Pokemon. By the end of his very long tale the jaws of all the other Pokemon had dropped in shock.

I don’t think glossing this over was a good idea. In general glossing over stuff makes sense if what is said is something the reader already knows or when it isn’t important to the story. But given that a lot of readers wouldn’t be familiar with this (including me) and Stoakes later in this scene refers to a specific part of this story, that isn’t really the case there. Having Kratos tell the broad strokes in a few lines would help improve this part a lot I think. It would also tell the reader more about Kratos’ character, since right now the people who haven’t played Tales Of Symphonia still know very little of him.

"Hmmmm... Perhaps he could help us investigate the meteor," said Ho-Oh.


"That's a good idea!" said Stoakes. "Given what he's been through he'll be well at home in an Adventurer Squad."


"Hmph," said Pari Passu. "Well Kratos? Are you up for it?"


"I accept," said Kratos.


"See, he's not up for it, time to find someone el- wait, really?"

Heh, Pari Passu must be so surprised given how random this all is. XD

Now you mention what you said about your son and his friends I can kinda see your logic.

This is the part I was referring to earlier by the way. Since I did not get to hear the story that Stoakes did, I don’t actually see the logic he is talking about.

And looks like our team of main characters has been formed. Despite some criticisms I gave earlier I did really enjoy the chapter. Will look forward to seeing what Ricki brings to the table as a teammate, since so far we’ve less of him than Kratos and Edbark of course. I am curious to see what this meteor is exactly and what this Empire is hoping to accomplish with it. Given that Ho-Oh seems to be allied with Spectroma I actually wonder if the Empire also has a Legendary on their side. I guess we shall see. Until next time!

 

[SparklingEspeon]

Review of the Prologue - Chapter 2

I never knew that you wrote before, and I've been waaay too busy recently to take a look at basically anything, so I'm rectifying that now :)
Either way, this seems to be your current work and probably the one I'd be most interested in reading, so I'll start here.

The first thing that interests me right off the bat is that this story appears to be not just purely PMD, but a crossover between PMD and something else (IDK what, though). I'm guessing that 'Kratos' is a character from that other property? He mentions his wife and son, so I assume he had some kind of backstory before. I'm still kind of wondering about the name, though. Usually when characters are named after roman/greek idols, there's some sort of symbolism or running theme to it. Even if Kratos isn't an OC tailored specifically to this story's needs, I'm wondering if you had that in mind when you picked him?

A lot of exchanges in this story read as lacking depth/on-the-nose at first. Reading it the first time around made me wilt in despair because I've read it like a literal million times already... until I realized that's the point. Going back and reading closer, the conversations seem superficially-superficial, and many of them read almost like you're poking fun at the clichés while writing them (Like how Edbark just 'assumes' Kratos has amnesia and Kratos goes along with it because lolz and no-one ever figures it out). Even the personality quiz at the start is just filled with snark and amazing to read.

The overall style of PMD: TOA seems overall minimal, which also reminds me of the tone of PMD Rescue Team- you got just enough for the story to make sense, but everything else was shrouded in mystery and overall seemed to operate on a lower level of complexity than our society does. Pokémon here take things for granted instead of asking questions - 'Oh? you're just lying there? Well obviously someone knocked you out and you can't remember a thing! Sounds legit.' There aren't that many details in the scenery, either. A town is a town. A guild is a guild. A festival is a festival. Anywhere else this would probably qualify as beige prose, but here it works really well, since most pokemon probably aren't the scholarly types.

And of course Empress Nyra seems to be shaping up to be the typical cliché PMD (Maybe arc?) villain, but I assume that's on purpose as well. Nothing makes a metaphorical mustache twirling villain look more evil than threatening their suboorinates and killing their PR :D

The meteor from the second chapter seems like an interesting (Maybe clever if intentional?) callback to the plot of Rescue Team as well. IDK where you're going with it yet (Unless those are the 'aliens' the voice at the beginning mentioned instead of the pokemon), but that's what jumped out to me.

I love the idea of appletun as a chef! They're no taller than a Pikachu either, so it must be hard for them... when Stella was mentioned as 'blue canine', my first instinct was to think 'shinx', but then I realized the common interpretation of shinx is feline and not canine, so she's probably a riolu (Maybe satire on how pretty much every PMD fic ever has a riolu character/protagonist?). Either way, it might pay to make her species a bit clearer, especially if she's neither.

Something else I noticed is that even though TR doesn't automatically space things out for you (grumbles), you seem to have put double-spaces in between all your lines instead of the normal single space. There's nothing wrong with it; of course, but my experience reading it was it made your prose look spartan to me- it felt like there was less than there really was. It was also very easy for me to get lost a lot, since my eyes are accustomed to reading single spaces and I had to essentially remind myself to skip a line every time I read down further. Maybe it's because I'm accustomed to reading on FFN, but I thought it might be useful to know anyway.

Overall, I liked this! Most PMD fics I've seen either do these to death or avoid them like the plague, so seeing one that takes those clichés and revels in shoving them back in readers' faces is interesting indeed. Now that I think about it, this is also the first outwardly satirical PMD I've read, so there's also that? The only negative comment I might have on that front is that unless it's important to the plot later, I think that Kratos being from another IP is a bit of a loose cannon. The setup you seem to have going on is that you're setting up a cliché story on purpose and then letting things fly (You have the cliché amnesia scene, the cliché gung-ho partner, the cliché Wigglytuff's Guild stand-in, the cliché probably-foreshadowing-to-a-cataclysmic-event, etc.), and if you aren't planning to come back to it at some point, then it might end up coming back for you later. Obviously IDK what your outline is or where you're going with it (I've only read three installments, after all...), but that gets so so many people who write crossovers between things and it seems fair to at least mention.

Looking forward to reading more of this!

~SparklingEspeon

Listening to: Toss a Coin to Your Witcher - Sonia Belousova; Giona Ostivelli

 

[The Walrein]

Hello Umbramatic! I'm here with that review I said I'd do over two months ago! (That counts as 'soon' in Walrein Time™). I don't know much about Tales of Symphonia, but I am pretty familiar with PMD tropes and such, so hopefully I'll be able to pick up on the satire.

"Sure you aren't. Anyway, final question! Have you ever wanted to communicate with aliens from another planet?"


"I'm assuming you're one?"


"I will neither confirm nor deny."


"Hmmm... Some beings from my world came from the stars, but other than you, Derris-Kharlan hasn't encountered any aliens yet... so yes, I suppose."

I'm not really sure why Kratos isn't counting the beings that 'came from the stars' on his world as aliens here - did it happen far enough in the past that he doesn't really consider them 'aliens' anymore?

"No... and I mean... What am I?"

The fox gasped. "Oh no! You must have amnesia! Uh, you're a Noibat! Though, not like any Noibat I've ever seen. Your colors are all different..."

Hmm, Edbark's definitely jumping to a conclusion about the amnesia thing here...

"What... is this place?" said Kratos. "And what are these creatures?"


"This is Rainbow Wing City!" said Edbark. "And man, that amnesia really got to you... These are Pokemon! You're a Pokemon, I'm a Pokemon..."

I'm not sure it'd make sense for Edbark to immediately assume that Kratos doesn't recall what Pokemon are in general; I think he'd assume that Kratos just didn't recognize the specific species walking around town.

"Well," said the pink oval, who was apparently Nurse Betania, "This is odd. He doesn't seem to have head trauma or other trauma or any injuries at all! How the hell does he have amnesia?"


"Well I wouldn't know." said Kratos.


Stoakes thought to himself a bit. "There's one possibility... Some nefarious Pokemon, somehow, wiped his memories."

Characters investigating how exactly the protagonist got their amnesia, and the possibility of it being done by psychic memory alteration is one of those things that never seems to come up in standard PMD fare even though it logically should (assuming that memory manipulation is A Thing in a given world), so props for bringing it up here.

"Yes, that's me, the poor poor amnesiac," Kratos said.

This line was amusing!

Riki rolled his eyes. "We haven't formed a proper Adventurer Squad yet. They think they're better than us."

Ricki's name is misspelled here.

"They're one of the things made from the leftovers of a Mystery Dungeon! They make a Pokemon's brain less feral, so Pokemon can live and work together without, you know, trying to kill or eat each other!"

Hmm, now I'm wondering if Pokemon have to continually eat gummis to avoid backsliding into feralness?

"Yeah, I'm done," said Edbark, "Unless Kratos has any more questions.


"I know all I need to for now," said Kratos.

You really, really don't, Kratos...

Kratos sighed. Then he told them everything. The last four thousand years or so, Mithos, Yggdrasil, Yuan, Anna, Lloyd, Lloyd's friends, the quest they all went through... the only thing he left out (since he did not feel the probing Psychic presence of Ferrite and Pearlite) was any mention that none of those involved were Pokemon. By the end of his very long tale the jaws of all the other Pokemon had dropped in shock.

It seems a little implausible that Kratos would be able to totally elide the lack of Pokemon in his world throughout such a long story.

Kratos thought a bit. About Loyd, Genis, Collete, Sheena, the others...

Lloyd is misspelled here.

"Actually," said Kratos. "I want Edbark and Ricki's help."


Stoakes' eyes widened. Ferrite and Pearlite looked at each other in disbelief. "Those two?" said Stoakes."They aren't fit to form an Adventurer Squad just yet!"


"Not by themselves maybe," said Kratos. "But as you could ascertain from my tale I have seen young people like them do great things. And if I were to help them..."


Stoakes put a paw to his chin. "Now you mention what you said about your son and his friends I can kinda see your logic. Hm..."

It feels like Kratos and Stoakes are reading the script here. I'm not familiar with Tales of Symphonia, but just looking through wiki and TvTropes entries for Lloyd, Genis, Collete, Sheena, it seems like they were all exceptional people at the time Kratos began his journey with them - the strongest swordsman in his village, a child prodigy, a chosen one, an assassin from a parallel world - so I'm not sure it makes much sense that Kratos would assume Ricki and Edbark would be similarly capable just because they're also young people who he happened to meet. Even if Kratos believed this, though, you'd think Guildmaster Stoakes would be more hesitant about sending inexperienced youngsters on a mission of highly uncertain danger.

So, looking at the opening chapters as a whole, I do have to echo Tanuki's concerns about the pacing being too fast. I feel like we could've used more characterization for Edbark and Ricki, which could also help explain why Kratos sees potential in them. Also, I'd have liked to see more of Kratos' thoughts about getting turned into a noibat, and about the PMD world in general. I understand that Kratos is supposed to be terminally depressed at the beginning, but it's difficult for me to get engaged in the story when the protagonist himself is totally indifferent to everything happening to him. There are times when it's mentioned that Kratos feels apprehensive about his situation, but he barely asks any questions and doesn't really try to prepare in any way or find out more about the world around him, instead just quietly going along with the flow. Indeed, he only actually gets involved with the plot because Ho-Oh somehow senses something off about him rather than any action on his part. It just seems really disappointing that the story's answers to "What if Kratos Aurion wound up in the PMD world? How would he react to turning into a Pokemon?" are "he'd hit the same standard story beats as any other PMD protagonist, modulo some minor sarcasm" and "he wouldn't", respectively.

To be honest, for the most part the humor didn't really work for me. It felt like elements like the personality quiz, the assumption of Kratos' amnesia, the stereotypical enthusiastic partner, and the cliché evil ruler fell into a sort of an awkward valley where they weren't quite ridiculous or exaggerated enough to be funny, but were still done in such an unserious/cliché way that they both harmed the verisimilitude of the world and were too unoriginal to be interesting. It seems like other people liked the humor though, so it might just be an issue of me not liking this particular style of comedy.

Despite my complaints, I'd say this story still has some promise. It seems like the story will be moving away from the standard PMD opening soon, which might give a chance to show off more of Kratos' character. And I do want to find out exactly what the deal with the Seeking and reality fragments are. Feel free to message me on Discord if you have any questions about my review!

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Hi Umbra! Sorry to keep you waiting for your catnip review. To compensate for my delay, I've read the first two chapters. I have to say, they were a pretty fun read!

There's a lot being done right here. Characterisation is clear and distinct mostly through expression and dialogue, the prose is descriptive enough to provide imagery while remaining tight and breezy to propel through the story, and the humour generally lands well. I actually snorted a few times reading some of the jokes, which is more than most fiction gets from me! The atmosphere is great, it has that bright and tenacious vibe straight out of PMD while also some foreboding implications about the kind of threats at hand.

In terms of content, it's a little early to lay down any significant commentary. You're mostly hitting conventional beats, but you're doing so in a fun way and there's a little extra in there too. The main thing to note is the crossover component, which I worried might alienate me somewhat. Although the opening paragraphs were a little rocky for me as someone not enfranchised by ToS, so far it hasn't been a problem for readability or comprehension. I certainly feel like I have a good idea of Kratos' personality, and everything else is incidental save for that it informs his attitudes towards much younger persons and the willingness of the Guild leadership to cooperate with him, and that much was easily understood.

In terms of prose, I generally enjoyed the narrative style and only one particular device stood out to me as something I'd suggest correcting. There's a tendency for new characters to be described with a string of adjectives, in clauses that are a little clunky. I feel like taking an extra sentence to present aesthetic information about characters and mixing it in with other narration is a worthwhile tradeoff. For example, "Seated at the end of the room was a strange, cream-and-green mustelid-like creature wearing a red vest, flanked by two floating grayish blue automaton-like beings." This is a chunky sentence consisting mostly of adjectives and adjectival contructions, and it could definitely do with being split up, and introduced to a few commas. Not a huge problem, nor a difficult one to fix.

Reading these two chapters was a pleasant use of my early morning today, and while I'm not huge on classic PMDfic or on crossovers, it'll be my pleasure to read onwards in the future.

P.S. Sick art as ever btw, @Cresselia92.

 

[Umbramatic]

Hi Umbra! Sorry to keep you waiting for your catnip review. To compensate for my delay, I've read the first two chapters. I have to say, they were a pretty fun read!

There's a lot being done right here. Characterisation is clear and distinct mostly through expression and dialogue, the prose is descriptive enough to provide imagery while remaining tight and breezy to propel through the story, and the humour generally lands well. I actually snorted a few times reading some of the jokes, which is more than most fiction gets from me! The atmosphere is great, it has that bright and tenacious vibe straight out of PMD while also some foreboding implications about the kind of threats at hand.

In terms of content, it's a little early to lay down any significant commentary. You're mostly hitting conventional beats, but you're doing so in a fun way and there's a little extra in there too. The main thing to note is the crossover component, which I worried might alienate me somewhat. Although the opening paragraphs were a little rocky for me as someone not enfranchised by ToS, so far it hasn't been a problem for readability or comprehension. I certainly feel like I have a good idea of Kratos' personality, and everything else is incidental save for that it informs his attitudes towards much younger persons and the willingness of the Guild leadership to cooperate with him, and that much was easily understood.

In terms of prose, I generally enjoyed the narrative style and only one particular device stood out to me as something I'd suggest correcting. There's a tendency for new characters to be described with a string of adjectives, in clauses that are a little clunky. I feel like taking an extra sentence to present aesthetic information about characters and mixing it in with other narration is a worthwhile tradeoff. For example, "Seated at the end of the room was a strange, cream-and-green mustelid-like creature wearing a red vest, flanked by two floating grayish blue automaton-like beings." This is a chunky sentence consisting mostly of adjectives and adjectival contructions, and it could definitely do with being split up, and introduced to a few commas. Not a huge problem, nor a difficult one to fix.

Reading these two chapters was a pleasant use of my early morning today, and while I'm not huge on classic PMDfic or on crossovers, it'll be my pleasure to read onwards in the future.

P.S. Sick art as ever btw, @Cresselia92.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thannk you so nmuch for this, it gave me the push to make this chapter possible.

SPEAKING OF


Whew, it's been a while hasn't it? This chapter gave me a really hard time since i wasn't sure what to even do with it at first, but i think I figured out something hopefully actually interesting. Now prepare for:

Chapter 3: Dungeon Master's Guide

Kratos, Edbark, and Riki made their way down the path out of the city into a forested area.

"So," said Kratos. "How do we find this mystery meteor? I'd say look for a crater but that only works up close."

"Uh, actually," said Edbark. "I dunno. I didn't think we'd get this far."

"Seriously?!" saiud Riki.

Kratos sighed. "Maybe we should ask the locals."

"What locals? Only wild Pokemon this deep in the woods.""

"What about them?" said Edbark, pointing a paw.

There, down the path, was a stand, manned by a Charmeleon, an Eeevee, and a Pachisru.

"Hey maybe they can help!" said Riki. He rushed over, and Edbark and Kratos followed.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" said the Charmeleon, noticing their approach. "I'm Lumine."

"I'm Susan," the Eevee said haughtily, brushing fur from her eyes.

"I'm Chad!" said the Pachisru enthusiastically.

"Do you know the way to that meteor that fell recently?" said Kratos, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah yes!" said Lumine, nodding. "We can help you!"

Kratos already didn't trust this.

"Ooh, help us how?" said Edbark.

"We know a few tricks!" said Susan.

"We have..." Chad held up a strange... device? It just looked like a bunch of metal parts mashed together. "This!"

"What is it?" said Riki.

"It's a lovely Meteor-Find-Inator! With it you'll find where that strange meteor landed in no time."

Yeah Kratos didn't trust this.

"...Edbark, Riki? A moment, if you will?"

The three got in a huddle.

"I want you two to know this is most definitely a scam."

"I didn't see any of them use Slam," said Edbark, confused.

"No, no! SCAM!" said Riki. "It's like when they're trying to rip us off!"

"Rip us off of what?" said Edbark. "We're not on anything sticky."

"He means cheat you out of your money," said Kratos.

"Oh. That. That's mean!" said Edbark.

"Right, so we just refuse and move on," said Kratos.

"Are you three done yet? What are you even talking about?" said Susan.

"Okay, so!" Riki said, turning to face the three and holding Edbark close. "My buddy Edbark here, see, his dad was a Fairy type so he's uh, allergic to all that metal. So we'll pass.

"Is that actually a thing?" said Edbark, whispering.

"Listen if they can bullshit us we can bullshit them," said Riki, whispering back.

The trio of merchants stared then got into their own huddle, whispering intensely. Finally they turned back to the group, seemingly somber looks on their faces.

"It oh so pains me to do this," said Lumine, holding a claw to his head in seeming emotional pain. "But if you won't give us your money..."

He suddenly leapt forward, toward Kratos.

"We'll take it!"

Kratos' instincts kicked in.

He rushed in front of Edbark to defend them, leaped up, ready to call upon his sword and even his Exsphere-

-Only to realize he had none of it left, and he only sent a few blades of air in Lumine's direction before falling flat on his face.

This did cause Lumine to stagger back a bit. Riki grabbed Kratos and turned to Edbark.

"Run!"

The two, Kratos in tow, fled down the forest path, the theiving trio in hot pursuit.

"The Rascal Rouges always get their prize!" said Stella.

"Yeah! Even if we have to beat mons up!" said Chad.

"Is that seriously what you're called?" said Kratos from atop Riki's shoulder.

"I like it!" said Edbark. "And hold on..."

Suddenly the fleeing trio disappeared. The pursuing trio skidded to a halt.

"Where did they go?!" said Chad.

"Curses!" said Lumine. "One of them's a Zorua! He used his Illusion ability! They could be anywhere!

"Start searching then!" said Susan.

The three started combing through trees and bushes.

--------------------

Some distance away, within the trees, a shimmering revealed Kratos, Edbark, and Riki.

"Nice one Edbark!" said Riki.

"Thanks! I've been practicing," said Edbark.

"I suppose it's a good getaway," said Kratos. "But how do we get back to the path?"

"I figure we just sneak down away from where those goons are and get back on the path, easy!" said Riki.

"Hey guys?" said Edbark. "Does the forest floor feel... loose to you? Like it could give way any second?"

It was that exact second that the forest floor indeed gave way and the three tumbled screaming below.

...Well, Edbark and Riki were screaming. Kratos was just annoyed.

------------

The three landed with a loud thud on some strange vegetable matter, which thankfully cushioned their fall. They got up and rubbed their heads.

"What was that?" said Riki, annoyed.

"A pitfall, apparently." said Kratos.

"Uh, g-guys? Take a closer look..."

Kratos and Riki did. And it was then they saw that the walls of the place they fell in were twisting and moving like coiled serpents, with strange chunks of glowing, flickering matter embedded within.

"This isn't a pitfall. This is a m-mystery dungeon," said Edbark.

"...Oh. Oh that ain't good," said Riki.

"You mentioned these, Edbark... Said they were a disease on reality?" said Kratos.

"Y-yeah, and if this one grows it'll overtake everything! Which is why we g-gotta stop it!"

"You don't sound very convinced," said Kratos.

"The chatterbox is right though," said Riki. "These things grow fast and absorb everything!"

"Yeah! We gotta find the core!" said Edbark.

"Very well," said Kratos. "I will assist you."

Where had he heard this all before?

"Now where is that core?" said Edbark.

"It should be deeper in!" said Edbark. "Follow me! I can smell it!"

He started charging down a literally shifting corridor. The other two followed.

------------

The corridor seemed to stretch on for an uncomfortable amount of time. Eventually, however, Edbartk skidded to a stop.

"Guys, look!"

Before the group were some strange gray and white birds, along with multiples of two different kinds of striped mammals, one that sat on its tail and another that zigzagged around. All, noticeably, had a flckery, unnatural glow to their eyes.

"Oh no... Dungeon ferals," said Edbark. "Some Starly, Zigzagoon, and

"How are they different from regular ferals?" said Kratos.

"Regular ferals just kinda... exist," said Edbark. "They theoretically can think as well as we can, but all their thought processes are focused on survival. Hiding from predators, being predators, eating, making Eggs. Dungeon ferals are ferals that got corrupted by the dungeon's influence. They now only exist to aid the dungeon's spread and protect it from anything. Anyone."

"Yeah they won't stop until you're dead, chased out, or assimilated," said Riki.

Kratos was reminded of the balance back home, the journey of the Chosen, the two worlds, the expspheres, how it all added back up to something very wrong, something he was instrumental in. He knew he was going to have to get to the bottom of this some way, somehow.

"Is there any way we can defeat them?" said Kratos. "Or get around them?"

"That I don't know," said Edbark. They are blocking our way..."

"Charge through them, catch them by suprise with attacks, then try to make an escape," said Kratos.

"Sounds good!" said Riki. "But uh... Can you fight?"

"I did fire those blades of air back wiith the Rascal Rouges... If I can do it again..."

"Alright!" said Edbark. "L-let's do this!"

And then they charged.

The dungeon ferals weren't sure how to react at first as the trio barreled through, but after they got their bearings they lunged without hesitation. The trio countered with blades of air, pulses of darkness, and strong bites, holding them back.

Eventually, fighting their way past the group of dungeon ferals, they saw a path to a glow down below.

"There's our escape!" said Edbark. "Come on!"

The three rushed down the path, then skidded to a halt when they saw what was the other side.

A large glowing, flickering, orb, embedded above them, warping the plant matter about it, spitting out small chunks of itself to spread around the dungeon.

"There's the core!" said Edbark. "We gotta kill it!"

Kratos couldn't stop staring in horror at the core. It seemed like... It was staring back.

He shook his head and fired more air blades at the thing.

The core shuddered, pulsed, then fired a laser at Kratos as a crack appeared on its surface.

Kratos fluttered out of the way just in time as Riki clawed at the orb and Edbark fired blasts of darkness at it. Cracks continued to form on the orb as it fired more lasers until finally it started shaking violently.

"It's gonna blow! Get back!"

The orb, indeed, blew as the three tossed themselves out of the way.

Immediately, the dungeon twisted in a massive upheaval as the group were pushed upward and upward and upward -

And it was over. The dungeon was gone. They were on the forest floor again. A bunch of confused Starly, Sentret, and Zigzagoon gained their bearings and fled into the woods. Edbark cheered.

"Woo! We did it! We beat a mystery dungeon!"

"We did," said Riki. "But weren't we on our way to find that meteor?"

"Oh, right." said Edbark, sheepishly.

"We'll just have to find our way again," said Kratos.sighing.

-----

The three trudged onward through the forest until, finally, they broke through to a field.

There, far off in the distance, was a city.

"We found something!" said Edbark.

"Is it the right something though?"

"Only one way to find out!:" said Rioki.

He and Edbark rushed ahead, Kratos sighed and followed.

Not much had changed.

****

Art time!

Riki by @canisaries

Riki again by @windskull

Stoakes and Edbark by @DeliriousAbsol

I'm hoping to get the next chapter out sooner rather than later! Gotta make sure to write more of an outline first, that will help.

(Also planning on doing a PROPER review reply, to everyone)

 

[Equitial]

Prologue

Something you should know before this review: I am completely unfamiliar with Tales of Symphonia. Like, the name of Kratos sounds maybe familiar, but that’s it. Therefore, the first part of the prologue was very confusing to me. It’s not bad per se – I imagine I’ll catch up as I read – but I had to work to puzzle out what was going on. Kratos certainly seems like a character with a lot of guilt and self-loathing. I’m not familiar with him, but I did get what I feel is his biggest character conflict through all the angst in the first scene.

That angst, by the way, made the second scene very funny, heh.

After all that internal mucking about, Kratos suddenly being thrust into a cheerful version of the PMD opening gave me hilarity whiplash. The voice’s first question –

"First question! Do you like groan-inducing puns?"


"...Spare me."


"You're lucky I can't think of one.

– made me snort out loud. Overall the voice's and Kratos’s interactions were rather amusing. It looks like you’re setting up for a 'darker character in a lighter world' kind of dynamic, so I’m interested to see how that goes.

Some portions of the writing here felt repetitive. For example, these two paragraphs start with describing the same action:

He looked in the direction in the sky Derris-Kharlan had drifted from. Lloyd. He was back there. Kratos wondered, hoped, that he and his gaggle of friends were doing alright.


He looked to where Derris-Kharlan was drifting in the cold void of space. This was the only place for him. He realized now the blood on his hands. The countless people Cruxis had killed he was complicit with.

And for a smaller point, here:

Kratos woke up in a colorful, pulsating, void. He couldn't feel his body. Almost like he was part of the void.

I feel like another word could have been substituted for void to avoid saying it twice. There’s also a wayward comma.

Chapter 1

This chapter served as a nice introduction to the story when paired with the prologue, but I don't have much to say about it individually. Kratos is a Noibat, which is a nice, unique choice for a protagonist mon. I liked how we're starting off in a larger city:

The two continued further on into Rainbow Wing City, passing various buildings and a great variety of Pokemon. Kratos marveled at the bazaars and shops and facilities run by colorful creatures he couldn't even count. Eventually the two reached what seemed to be a castle - Kratos noticed one of two in the city, along with a cathedral.

I note that cathedral. And there's some sort of religious festival, which Edbark (whom I assume will remain important) knows a lot about. We'll see where that worldbuilding goes.

Chapter 2

"Hey Kratos! I gotta show you around!"


Kratos sighed. "Please, show me around."

He's so enthusiastic >.>

Alright, so we've got a meaty chapter with lots of things to talk about. However, I think the biggest standout of this fic so far is Kratos's dynamic with the world around him. I predicted that he wouldn't really fit in a typical happy PMD world, and boy was I right.

I especially like his relationship with Edbark and Ricki, his now teammates. They are very typical PMD companions, and Kratos is sooooo very not. I had a smile on my face for most of the time reading this. Most of the humor is derived from Kratos just being Kratos, and I have to say I love it. I like how throughout the first parts of the chapter neither Edbark nor Ricki even caught on that Kratos wasn't like other denizens of their world. My favorite exchange was this one:

"Come on, Edbark, I'm sure even Mr. Amnesiac knows them!" said Ricki.


"I don't, actually," said Kratos.


"...Carry on then," said Ricki.

Like with Heros After All, there's this constant undertone of humor under all the writing. I have to say I enjoy it.

So, the plot has kicked off; pieces have been set, though I'm not sure how they fit together yet. I think the biggest mystery is with the mysterious Empire and its foreboding Decidueye empress. Nyra spoke of wanting things to go "as planned" during the Seeking, but did they? Something certainly happened, but I can't yet tell what. There's also Kratos to consider. Is he a going to be a wrench in the Empress's plans, or maybe... could he involved somehow?

I noticed this line:

"This voice could still be affiliated with the Empire!" said Pari Passu. "It could be part of their plan!"

Obviously, Kratos isn't consciously working for the Empire, but the Empire is still so mysterious it's hard to know what means or goals they have. Hmmm, we'll see how this all works out. I'm not sure what role Kratos will play, but either way it's going to be significant.

Kratos sighed. Then he told them everything. The last four thousand years or so, Mithos, Yggdrasil, Yuan, Anna, Lloyd, Lloyd's friends, the quest they all went through... the only thing he left out (since he did not feel the probing Psychic presence of Ferrite and Pearlite) was any mention that none of those involved were Pokemon. By the end of his very long tale the jaws of all the other Pokemon had dropped in shock.

I wasn't expecting Kratos to tell everyone his backstory so soon, and I have to say it's a bit weird that the other characters now know more about Kratos than I do. You did warn that this was a Tales of Symphonia crossover, but you also said someone unfamiliar could read and understand it. I think more details about Kratos's backstory could have been slipped in so people like me have an easier time getting into the character.

He heard a knock on the door. He went over to check and opened it.It was Edbark.

Missing a space between sentences.

Chapter 3

Well, first of all, that first scene was hilarious. I was grinning throughout. Not only is it a good demonstration of how the members of the new Team Symphonia think, it's just funny. My favorite part is how Riki -- who seems a little less naive than Edbark -- still dropped the ball with this:

"Okay, so!" Riki said, turning to face the three and holding Edbark close. "My buddy Edbark here, see, his dad was a Fairy type so he's uh, allergic to all that metal. So we'll pass.

"Is that actually a thing?" said Edbark, whispering.

"Listen if they can bullshit us we can bullshit them," said Riki, whispering back.

I know it's implied the Rascal Rouges couldn't hear that exchange, but I choose to believe they could because 1) it's funny and 2) I think Edbark and Ricki would potentially do that.

First introduction to a dungeon. I like your interpretation, especially the concept of cores. I noticed how discomfited Kratos seemed by them. I wonder if that's an aspect of his backstory or some kind of foreshadowing.

About Kratos, I would have liked a bit more insight into how he's feeling and thinking, if only because it would be hilarious xD. We're going into danger time now, and I'm interested to see how he'll react when the pressure gets more intense. It's also interesting to see how he's reacting to his new body. I liked this bit --

He rushed in front of Edbark to defend them, leaped up, ready to call upon his sword and even his Exsphere-

-Only to realize he had none of it left, and he only sent a few blades of air in Lumine's direction before falling flat on his face.

-- for a number of reasons. 1) It shows how he's still struggling to adjust to being a Noibat. 2) It demonstrates how he has a very protective nature. And 3) lol.

Although I liked those scenes, overall this chapter felt a bit episodic and incomplete. Dungeons and I assume the Rascals are important concepts to introduce, but neither of these events advanced the current plot -- finding that weird meteor.

"Oh no... Dungeon ferals," said Edbark. "Some Starly, Zigzagoon, and

This sentence cuts off completely.


Final thoughts:

This was funny and light-hearted, and overall I enjoyed reading it! It's a bit difficult to connect with the protagonist because I'm unfamiliar with his canon, but he's compelling and his presence in this world is rife with possibility. The plot hasn't quite started up yet, but it's getting closer. I'd follow to see what happens next.

 

[kintsugi]

Hey Umbra! here for catnip. The chapters were all pretty breezy so I went ahead and read prologue - ch 3. Super fandom blind for Tales of Symphonia, so I won't be able to say much about those aspects in particular, but I tried to focus on the rest!

I think opening with the PMD quiz is an interesting choice! It certainly helps ask/answer a few questions about your protagonist right off the bat, and it's always interesting to see what exactly we learn about our characters. In this case, I got the sense that Kratos takes things pretty seriously, and has a fair amount of guilt--traits that he certainly carries forward into the rest of the fic.

As always the worldbuilding has some really cute concepts. I liked the festival with the Reality Stars; it feels very grounded in the universe and it was fun to see everyone get excited about it. I also liked the more traditional take on dungeons + how they corrupt their inhabitants, and I thought it was cool that you went for the more optimistic ending where clearing the dungeon frees the inhabitants! That leaves some really messy questions about how they'll have to deal with dungeon ferals in the future, since they've basically 1) done nothing specifically wrong to deserve this fate and 2) can be rescued--it'll sure feel a lot more awkward to go in guns blazing. I'm curious to see what other lore there is behind the dungeons, since they seem to be a relatively new and scary introduction to this world. Interesting stuff! The bit about cores was really interesting either, and I don't think that's from PMD--is it maybe a ToS reference? I also liked how this scene brought out some emotion in Kratos, and he seemed really concerned about what the core had.

Dialogue/banter is also fun here. I liked the rascal kids in chapter 3, as well as the whole "if they can bullshit us, we can bullshit them" logic since it's so inherently illogical haha. There's a fun, light-hearted tone in these early chapters and I'm curious to see if it'll last like that or if Kratos' sad vibes are eventually going to ruin the fun lol.

One thing I would've really wanted is for more of a feel for Kratos' character--not even things about who he was/what he did in ToS, but what he actually wants now. He doesn't really seem to question anything about this new world that he's in outside of like a vague, oh, that's interesting, but in a way I'm reminded of Steven Universe in that he's really being shepherded around plot points and isn't asking the questions I wanted him to ask. For instance, there's that bit where he picks Ricki and Edback as his teammates, much to everyone else's surprise. I felt like this was supposed to be a momentous occasion, where Kratos picks these two against all odds, but I couldn't justify why he was picking them in the first place--he does a bit of telling, where he says that it's because he believes in plucky young kids who can change the world, but that belief never feels shown, or really earned. I think it would help a bit to have more of Kratos' personality show up in his interactions with them; they're mostly doing ridiculous things and he's nodding along, or they're explaining how aspects of the world works and he's nodding along, etc. I also wanted a bit more about what's weighing on Kratos so heavily from his past--it's important enough that he'll reference it from time to time, but he never quite looks it in the face, which makes it feel a little cheap.

Some grammar things I noticed--for the most part other people have already covered these so I tried not to double-dip.

He heard a knock on the door. He went over to check and opened it.It was Edbark.

Dropped a space here!

"I'm Chad!" said the Pachisru enthusiastically.

I think you meant "Pachirisu"? Likewise, you flip from Ricki in the first few chapters to Riki in this one, which I don't think was intentional. Some Lloyd/Loyd's as well.

"We'll just have to find our way again," said Kratos.sighing.

period over comma here

Overall this is a light-hearted and quick read; pretty fun! I think my normal comments about description and scene-setting from HAA still stand here, but the tone is a lot more cheerful so far and I think that lets the lighter narration/comedic exchanges land a lot better. Thanks for sharing.

 

[AbraPunk]

Hello, here for Catnip! Sorry for the delay (Also, I just realized that I got both of your submissions for Catnip! What are the chances, huh?)

Derris-Kharlan had been drifting for a long while. It'd be a while before it'd establish itself as a proper living planet. His communications with Yuan had ceased just the other day. He had already scattered Cruxis' Exspheres into space. He could barely see where he left in the sky anymore.

Yeah, I don't know anything about Tales of Symphonia, so, uh... gonna just skim over this.

Hey you! You're finally awake!"

oh no

Though, not like any Noibat I've ever seen. Your colors are all different..."

Yeah man, just look at the cover art.

y name's Edbark

Ha, that's a funny little name.

Kratos? Huh. Sounds foreign. Well nice to meet you Kratos!

Everytime this guy's name is mentioned, I can't help but think of Kratos from God of War.

Well that gives us fuck-all evidence as to who!"

Okay, clearly the best character right here. /j



Overall, I thought this was a nice little silly read! The writing style is nice, and although most characters seem cliche, I get that that's the point, so I really can't argue there. I look forward to this being updated.

 

[Sinderella]

Hiiiiya Umbra! Very sorry for the extremely late catnip. I read through the prologue and chapter 1 (though I guess that counts as one chapter since they were both together?)

I'll be honest, I don't know too much about your Yangverse, but this was a fantastically intriguing opening--especially the prologue. I have quote a lot of questions about Kratos and who he was prior to (what I assume) him leaving behind his world, which I assume is Derris-Kharlan? I think? What did this man do to where he was quite literally yeeted off his home planet? What happened to his friends? His son? What the hell isekai'd him into a Pokemon world? I have to assume these questions will be answered at some point (oooooor the answer is in another Yangverse fic???? Maybe???), but yes. I have quite a lot of questions and am quite looking forward to seeing what Kratos does in his new sitch. Also, wtf, this man remembers the last 4,000 years???? How old is he??????????????? I'm shooketh.

I quite enjoyed the rhythm that was established in the prologue, and the way you sort of introduced us to what was happening in a very minimalist way. Like, straight and to the point, no beating around the bush. I think it worked for this establishing shot, and definitely leaves us with a sense of "ahhhh what's happening?" especially as Kratos is swallowed up into this light turned into a Noibat. However, I feel like the chapter kind of starts to lose that momentum as we get into the ACTUAL chapter 1--the story starts to become more focused on the dialogue, and with such a stark focus on that, with not a lot of exposition going on between the speaking lines, the pacing starts to speed up and really causes things to move quite fast. Like, Kratos was just swallowed up into a light, and suddenly this Zoroark finds him and has him brought to an adventuring guild. All these new characters are brought in without giving the reader much breathing room, so it was kind of hard to swallow in one big gulp, if that makes sense. I kind of wanted some time to breathe--I wanted to get more into Kratos's head, see more of what he might have been thinking in the scenario, and not just what he was saying. I wanted to see more of a reaction from him as he witnessed all these "alien" creatures and whatnot. He's clearly going through some shit right now, so I totally think you have some room to beef this up with more exposition and thought, if that makes sense.

That about caps my thoughts for now, and once again, I do apologize for the lateness on this. If you have any questions of concerns, my DM's are always open to ya. Keep up the good work my dude <3333

 

[IFBench]

Here for chapters 1 and 2 for catnip!

Now, I feel like I'm missing a lot of context. I know next to nothing about Tales of Symphonia or Yangverse, so none of these names mean anything to me.

However, thanks to the patented PMD Personality Quiz, I managed to learn a fair bit about Kratos, and even a bit about his world (Derris-Kharlan, I believe?), before the story truly gets rolling! This is an excellent use of the Personality Quiz, and I'd say it's very well done!

Even after the Quiz, you're still teaching us new things about Kratos and Derris-Kharlan, such that diverse sapient species likely don't exist in Derris-Kharlan, and that apple pie exists there.

The Seeking is very intriguing to me. From Kratos' thoughts, it seems like something similar to it happens in Derris-Kharlan. Love when crossovers mix multiple parts of different settings together like that! And oh dear, looks like something went wrong with it. And I wonder why Ho-oh said both "hearts and souls", when souls are usually Lugia's thing, if I remember correctly. Did something happen to Lugia?

Nonetheless, these two chapters are a great opening, and I am very intrigued, both to see what happens next, and by Tales of Symphonia and the Yangverse. I may have to try Tales of Symphonia myself sometime after reading this fic!

Thank you for writing this!

 

[Umbramatic]

@IFBench Aaaaaaaaaaa thank you and the other for the reviews! Again proper review replies pending but they're appreciated

Fuck, okay, once again it's been for-ever, so I wanted to crank out a chapter even though it's kinda short. Some important things do still happen here though...

Chapter 4: Party Assemble

Kratos, Edbark, and Riki approached the town they had found. It was a small, simple affair, nothing like Rainbow Wing City, but it was still bustling with Pokemon.

"This will be a good pit stop after all of THAT," said Riki.

"Recuperating is probably wise yes," said Kratos.

They eventually arrived in the town in question proper. Things were mostly looking normal so far.

Until they saw one group of Pokemon in particular.

Three Pokemon - one resembling a small unicorn, one resembling a lump of coal, and one resembling an octopus - were in the middle of a heated argument.

"Whadya think that's about?" said Edbark.

Kratos, admittedly, was curious too, and tuned his large ears in to listen.

"Clearly, I'm best equipped to get rid of it, with my natural guiles," said the unicorn.

"No. I have the practical knowledge." said the lump of coal.

"No, I can punch it!" said the octopus.

"And what exactly is "it?"" said Kratos.

"Oh it's terrible!" said the unicorn.

"Awful." said the lump of coal.

"Bad!" said the octopus.

"You haven't answered his question..." said Edbark.

"Oh," said the lump of coal. "There's a Snorlax in the middle of town. It won't go away."

Kratos blinked, but his face remained deadpan. "What's a Snorla?"

The others went silent and stared.

"He's... got amnesia," said Edbark, nervously.

"Sure.. Thing, said the unicorn. "Anyway I doubt any of you can help."

"Hey!" said Riki. "We could TOTALLY help!"

"Well if we can't do anything how can you?" said the octopus.

"We'll- We'll see!" said Riki. "Right guys?"

Edbark looked to Kratos expectantly. "I... Guess we should help right?"

Kratos did not like the big eager eyes Edbark was giving him.

"...If you insist."

"Great!" said Edbark. "Let's get going!"

The group promptly went further into the town.

--------

Upon reaching the center of the town they all finally saw it.

A massive bear-cat of a Pokemon, fat and round, asleep in the middle of town and blocking the intersection of various streets.

"They're... Huge..." said Edbark.

"SEE why we can't get rid of this thing?!" said the unicorn.

"Pssh, it'll be fine for us," said Riki.

"Sure it will be," said the lump of coal.

"No really!" said Riki indignantly. "We can do it!"

"Y-yeah sure we can..." said Edbark.

Kratos sighed and went to inspect this "Snorlax." It did not budge at his approach, snoring away peacefully. Kratos looked it over further. No apparent weaknesses in this thing's immense bulk. He suddenly wasn't sure if there WAS anything to be done about this massive beast.

Then he had a thought. It was obviously asleep. But what if he woke it with a sufficiently loud noise?

He took a deep breath And then attempted to let out a yell.

It came out as a booming, piercing batlike shriek that knocked him on his back, This caused the Snorlax to bolt upright.

"Oh good," said the unicorn. "It's awa-"

The Snorlax stood up and let out a roar.

"...Oh."

"You've done it now," said the lump of coal.

"What do we do?!" said Edbark.

"We FIGHT IT obviously!" said the octopus.

"I GUESS!" said Riki.

"Seems like it's our only option..." said Kratos.

And they rushed in to engage the angry beast.

The Snorlax retaliated by throwing a karate chop strong enough to shatter bricks at Kratos. It hit him full on, but strangely did not hurt as much as one would expect it to. Kratos retaliated with a scythe of air from his wings. The Snorlax roared, and roared further rom a flurry of rocks from the lump of coal, before body slamming them. The lump of coal was sent flying, but the octopus leapt up and punched her right back at the Snorlax's forehead.

The unicorn fired a psychic blade at the Snorlax's soft belly, with Ricki biting its foot and causing it to stagger. It promptly lunged at an image of Edbark... Only for the image to dissipate and the real Edbark to jump out, send out a blast of dark energy, and knock the Snorlax flat.

The Snorlax got to its feet, but instead of continuing to attack it ran straight out of the city, not looking back. The townsfolk cheered.

"Woah... We did it!" said Edbark.

"Heck yeah!" said Riki.

"And it was all thanks to you, dear Noibat!" said the unicorn.

"I suppose..." said Kratos. "And you all are?"

"Oh! I'm Faxi," said the unicorn. "I'm a Ponyta."

"Fornax. Rolycoly." said the lump of coal."

"I'm Laila! I'm a Clobbopus! I CLOBBER!" said the octopus.

"Right," said Kratos. "Well we best be going..."

"Going where?" said Faxi.

Kratos was about to ignore them when Edbark chimed in. "We're going to find that strange meteor that fell during The Seeking!"

"It's a super special important mission!" said Riki.

"Really? Well we want in!" said Laila.

"Just wandering before. Could use a destination." said Fornax.,

"And this is a cause worthy of my splendor!" said Faxi.

...Oh no, thought Kratos.

He sighed. "Fine..."

Edbark and Riki cheered.

"Then let's be off!" said Faxi.

"TO ADVENTURE!" said Laila.

"Yay," said Fornax.

And the party shuffled their way out of the town, and onward.

***

A short one, but an important one that I wanted to expedite - meet the rest of our party! You will learn More of their stories over time. See you next time whenever the fuck that is.

 

[Equitial]

I think Laila is going to go far. And I'm sure Kratos will get along great with his new teammates--their wacky hijinks will work on him eventually

 

[Sastrei]

OKAY WHAAAAAAT


So I am really new here, and I just now stumbled across this fic and I literally must review it because other than Pokemon, TOS is my absolute favorite fandom and I have a TOS story on FF.net that's over 300k and WITH KRATOS AS THE MAIN CHARACTER, WHAT. I've played through the game more times than I can count and he is easily one of my favorite characters from anything ever. I mean, hell, I myself have written an insane amount about him, so I feel like fandom rules dictate that due to this excellent discovery, I must read this and leave a review.

Phew, okay. Just having a moment. Excuse me. Moving on to actual review things now.

Kratos wondered, hoped, that he and his gaggle of friends were doing alright.

Oh Kratos would absolutely refer to Lloyd's friends as a gaggle. I love that.

He didn't deserve to stay home. He didn't deserve redemption. He didn't deserve a happy life with his son, the only family he had left.

Ah, the angst. Nailing it on the head right off the bat.

"First question! Do you like groan-inducing puns?"


"...Spare me."

HAHAHA I can hear the annoyance in this line.

Kratos thought back to Mithos. To Yuan. To Lloyd.

"...It's probably my fault."

Yep, exactly. Everything is your fault. Always. Forever.

Uh, you're a Noibat! Though, not like any Noibat I've ever seen. Your colors are all different..."


"So I'm a creature known as a Noibat, then."

A Noibat!!! Hmmmm that is an interesting choice and also really adorable and awkward and I love it.

"It can't be helped! Rule Number 1 of the Adventurer's Guild! Always help those in need, no matter who they are!"


Kratos was suddenly reminded of his son Lloyd's fondness for the Dwarven Vows. "I appreciate it."

Dawwwww even as a Noibat in a strange environment he's still a daddy

Kratos' stomach rumbled. It seemed this new body needed food more than his angel one.


"...Yes please."

YOU EVEN INCLUDED THIS DETAIL, hnnnnggghh I love this so much.

Only knew he wasn't a feral by his weird coloring and the belts he was wearing."

Wait wait, so Noibat!Kratos is still wearing his belts? That is amazing, and of course he is. Kratos literally cannot wear an outfit without belts. It's like he's contractually obligated to always wear at least one.

Kratos thought to himself. Did he really need to babysit a bunch of children again? Especially when neither of them were his son?


"Well, good luck with that," said Kratos.

I lol'd at this. "NOPE." Been there done that.

A massive orange and gold bird with iridescent shimmering feathers alight upon the altar. Kratos sensed great power emanating from it, greater than the angelic power he once had.

Oh that is so interesting, now I'm sitting here trying to scale the high ranking members of Cruxis with the power of Legendary pokemon. Angel Kratos vs Ho-Oh would be an epic fight.

"Did the Empire do this?"


Kratos' sharp ears picked up on the empire thing but did not act on it.

YES OF COURSE HE PICKED UP ON IT, he has history with empires and it did not go well.

Kratos thought a bit. About Loyd, Genis, Collete, Sheena, the others...


"Actually," said Kratos. "I want Edbark and Ricki's help."

Awwwww. That's definitely something that TOS and anything Pokemon has in common: the power of kids.

Kratos did a headtilt. Then thought. And thought. And thought some more. Until something finally came to him.


"Team Symphonia."

YAAAAAAAY good choice Kratos!
Okay so that's the first two chapters but I'll be back for more later, because I'm still buzzing with delight from this discovery. TOS fans can be hard to find in this day and age (I mean the original game is almost 20 years old now) so this was such a lovely surprise. SQUEEEEEEEEE



Oh and, if you're bored and wanting to investigate a slightly AU TOS fanfic featuring an OC who is a demonic vessel (think Niflheim from the TOS sequel) instead of an angelic one like Colette, and who also has a ton of dialogue and awkward scenes with Kratos, I will shamelelessly plug Ashes. Because there's never enough TOS in the world. (Slight warning for some fighting/gore in the first chapter)

I'll be back!!

 

[Umbramatic]

OKAY WHAAAAAAT


So I am really new here, and I just now stumbled across this fic and I literally must review it because other than Pokemon, TOS is my absolute favorite fandom and I have a TOS story on FF.net that's over 300k and WITH KRATOS AS THE MAIN CHARACTER, WHAT. I've played through the game more times than I can count and he is easily one of my favorite characters from anything ever. I mean, hell, I myself have written an insane amount about him, so I feel like fandom rules dictate that due to this excellent discovery, I must read this and leave a review.

Phew, okay. Just having a moment. Excuse me. Moving on to actual review things now.

Oh Kratos would absolutely refer to Lloyd's friends as a gaggle. I love that.

Ah, the angst. Nailing it on the head right off the bat.

HAHAHA I can hear the annoyance in this line.

Yep, exactly. Everything is your fault. Always. Forever.

A Noibat!!! Hmmmm that is an interesting choice and also really adorable and awkward and I love it.

Dawwwww even as a Noibat in a strange environment he's still a daddy

YOU EVEN INCLUDED THIS DETAIL, hnnnnggghh I love this so much.

Wait wait, so Noibat!Kratos is still wearing his belts? That is amazing, and of course he is. Kratos literally cannot wear an outfit without belts. It's like he's contractually obligated to always wear at least one.

I lol'd at this. "NOPE." Been there done that.

Oh that is so interesting, now I'm sitting here trying to scale the high ranking members of Cruxis with the power of Legendary pokemon. Angel Kratos vs Ho-Oh would be an epic fight.

YES OF COURSE HE PICKED UP ON IT, he has history with empires and it did not go well.

Awwwww. That's definitely something that TOS and anything Pokemon has in common: the power of kids.

YAAAAAAAY good choice Kratos!
Okay so that's the first two chapters but I'll be back for more later, because I'm still buzzing with delight from this discovery. TOS fans can be hard to find in this day and age (I mean the original game is almost 20 years old now) so this was such a lovely surprise. SQUEEEEEEEEE



Oh and, if you're bored and wanting to investigate a slightly AU TOS fanfic featuring an OC who is a demonic vessel (think Niflheim from the TOS sequel) instead of an angelic one like Colette, and who also has a ton of dialogue and awkward scenes with Kratos, I will shamelelessly plug Ashes. Because there's never enough TOS in the world. (Slight warning for some fighting/gore in the first chapter)

I'll be back!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thank you I am so honored I found someone for who the niche crossover Hits and I hope you enkjoy the rest

Speaking of....

Whew. Once again, this is long overdue, because I am slow, but here is another Tales of Arrival update which has some very enticing bits. Well hopefully you find them enticing. Anyway here's:

Chapter 5: Multi-Mystery

Nyra was displeased. Very displeased.

Her troops still hadn't secured the area around the meteor. This was a vital task! If they couldn't then-

Slam. The doors to her throne room were flung wide open.

A tall Cinderace in a sharp military jacket stepped in. He marched briskly before stopping in front of Nyra's throne.

"Ahem. Empress Nyra, if I may?"

She gave a beaky smile. "Ah, General Mullein. You may"

"I have come to deliver a report."

"Of what sort?"

Mullein chuckled. "Excellent rhyme there, my lady. Anyway the report is of some mons of interest."

"...Show me."

Mullein produced a strange, Clamperl-shell-like device. It opened to project the holographic image of a certain adventuring party.

"Another group of adventurers seems to be headed for the crater."

Nyra looked closely with her sharp owl eyes and scowled.

"Something bugs me about this group but I'm not sure what... They could be a threat to the plan. Send in troops ro investigate."

"As you wish my dear."

And Mullein marched briskly out.

---------------

Kratos and his newly expanded crew were moving onward. The la landscape had opened up to a grassy field with sparse trees, the sun shining gently down on them.

"So where were we headed again?" said Faxi.

"Trying tio head to where that meteor hit!" said Riki.

"Why? It's just a rock." said Laila.

"I'm a rock," said Fornax, deadpan.

"Listen," said Edbark. "It's totally super special and we-"

"Wait." said Kratos.

His ears twitched. Ever since he'd gotten them he'd noticed they were strong, and could pick up on many things.

And they could hear something coming their way.

"...There is potential danger near." said Kratos.

"...Where? I don't see anything," said Riki.

"Over there!" said Laila.

The party turned to look. There was indeed a shifting mass heading straight toward them.

"What is that?" said Riki.

The mass grew closer, revealing it to be an eclectic collection of mons in strange uniforms.

"Wait, are those-" Faxi started to say.

"Halt!"

A strange draconic creature wearing apple rinds as wings moved to the forefront of the crowd.

"Under the order of Empress Nyra you are under arrest!"

"I'm perfectly awake, thank you," said Riki. .

The Flapple sputtered. "You know what I mean! I, Lieutenant Grimhilde, need to capture you lot!"

"Well then we should probably get out of here!" said Edbark.

"...Agreed," said Kratos, realizing his current form probably couldn't take on this many Pokemon.

The party broke into a run.

"Wh- You can't do that!" said Grimhilde.

She and her army began to pursue.

The gang kept running. However, the squad of soldiers quickly started gaining.

"What are we gonna do?" said Faxi.

"Die I guess," said Fornax.

"Preferably not that!" said Laila.

"Keep your heads together!" said Kratos.

"I- I have an idea!" said Edbark.

"Wait, are you gonna-" said Riki.

Suddenly,there was a shimmering effect around the group. Everyone stopped. "Hey! Where'd they go?" said a voice outside the shimmering. There was the noise of many moving Pokemon. Eventually the noises quieted, then faded into nothing. Edbark the whole time was standing stock still,eyes scrunched closed,visibly straining himself.

"...Edbark I think they're gone, " said Riki.

The illusion dissipated. Edbark collapsed,coughing. Riki rushed to his side.

"You can't do that Edbark!"said Riki. "You know you can't handle it!"

"I just... Made us invisible..." said Edbark.

"And what, exactly, happened?" said Kratos.

"See, Edbark's a Zorua," said Riki. "They can make all these fancy illusions.But something happened with Edbark and he has a hard time doing them anymore, It really strains him."

"So he's.. Illusion impaired?" said Kratos.

"Basically," said Riki.

"That's rough buddy," said Fornax.

"I-I'm fine, really..." said Edbark.

"Could someone carry him? Not me my back is too, er delicate," said Faxi.

"I can!" said Laila. "I love lifting things!" She quickly scooped up a moaning Edbark in her tentacles.

"Who were those Pokemon pursuing us?"

"That was the Quiver Empire!" said Riki. "They're led by the Decidueye Empress Nyra! They just... showed up one day and started conquering everything they could!"

Kratos frowned.He was reminded of a group from back home known as The Desians, who wished to subjugate any they deemed lesser.

He thought briefly of his own connection to the Desians, and their true purpose to bring an end to all beings.

...No, couldn't be. And it wasn't like he could tell these Pokemon of his past. He would have to find a way to deal with this... but later.

:"...Sounds dangerous. We should avoid them if we can."

"Most definitely..." said Faxi.

"We should get going," said Fornax.

"Let's go then!" said Laila.

The gang slowly, awkwardly, shuffled off, Laila carrying ann exhausted Edbark the whole way.

-------------

The group eventually came across a small city. It was simple in structure, but had some noticeably large buildings scattered around it. The group entered casually without attracting much attention from the Pokemon there.

"This should be a good stop to rest," said Kratos.

"Good idea probably," said Riki.

Laila plopped Edbark down on a nearby wooden bench. He groaned and moved to get more comfortable.

It was then Kratos noticed an unusual pair of Pokemon. One was a tall, black and white mustelid wearing a fuzzy gray coat. The other was a yellow and green doglike Pokemon in a tight-fitting jacket. It wasn't long before they noticed him back.

"Hmmm... He could be the one," said the mustelid.

"...Really. He just walked into town," said the dog.

"We haven't found anyone willing to help IN town," said the mustelid.

"...Fair point," said the dog.

They steadily approached Kratos.Oh no, Kratos thought. He had enough adventuring experience to know where this was going. The pair stopped in front of him.

"Excuse me sir," said the mustelid.

"...Yes?"

The dog sighed. "We have a proposition for you."

"And what exactly is it?" said Kratos.

By now the other members of the party had noticed and were gathering.

"We need your help with an investigation!" said the mustelid.

"Ooh, sounds exciting," said Faxi.

"I'm up for it," said Fornax.

"Once Edbark gets rested yup sure," said Riki.

"Ooh, I wanna punch the culprit at the end!" said Laila.

Kratos' internal oh nos intensified.

"Excellent." said the mustelid. "But first, introductions. I am Heinwald."

"And I am Curran," said the dog.
"We're looking for an especially wily culprit," said Heinwald.

Kratos sighed. "Such as?"

"We're trying to find the identity of an assassin," said Curran. "But like... a really bad one."

"They've caused countless screwups and blunders we need to get to the bottom of," said Heinwald. "And we've tracked them down to... the downtown of this very city!"

Everyone in the party but Kratos gasped.

"Once your friend is rested we can start investigating." said Heinwald.

Kratos let out a long, drawn-out sigh.

---------------

With Edbark recovered and having enthusiastically agreed to the situation, the group were now looking for clues downtown. Everyone was diligently searching different parts looking for clues.

"Not here," said Kratos.

"Not here," said Riki

"Not here!" said Laila.

"Wait! I found something!" said Edbark.

He pointed to a trail of some kind of dried fluid.

"Aha!" said Heinwald. "We've spotted this dried fluid at other places the assassin hs striked!"

Edbark sniffed at the trail until it led to the doors of a mansion.

A very large mansion.

"Oh there," said Curran. "They say that place is haunted."

"Very haunted," said Heinwald.

"HAUNTED?!" said the party aside from Kratos.

Kratos sighed. As if the ghosts of his past weren't bad enough.

-------------------------

Cerdiwen and Pari Passu were at a desk, studying a book. A nearby door opened and Stoakes entered.

"Whatcha two looking at?"

"We're reading up on the history of The Seeking!" said Pari Passu. "We're trying to find the origin of the mysterious red meteor..."

"And I think we've already found a lead,"said Cerdiwen.

She pointed at a particular point in the book. Stoakes went over to check.

"This says something about a... Red light being seen during the Seeking. It's happened before... Just not this extreme."

"Precisely," said Cerdiwen. "Definitely cause for concern..."

"You think we should bring Ho-Oh into this?" said Stoakes. "This could affect the entire realm..."

"Not... a bad idea," said Pari Passu.

"Yes, let's," said Cerdiwen.

The trio grabbed the book and shuffled off to find Ho-Oh.

---------------

Ho-Oh was staring at the book extremely intently. A very worried expression was etched onto his avian face. The other three watched him with great anxiety.

"Well?" said Pari Passu, nervously tapping his cane. "What do you think?"

"...This." said Ho-Oh. "Is very bad. It was already clear whatever we're dealing with is not of this world. But this indicates.. I don't know for certain but it could be worse than even that."

"Then what do we do?" said Cerdiwen. "We need to protect our people..."

"We need further investigation," said Ho-oh. "Secure a piece of the meteor if possible. We need to know what this thing is and how much of a threat ir presents."

"I can get the Adventurer's Guild to hunt for any leads,' said stoakes.

He nodded sternly.

"Mark my words, your grace, we WILL get to the bottom of this."

-----------------

Stella was sparring in a large field, similar to the field Kratos and co were in before, and in close proximity, though mercifully free of Quiver Empire forces.

Her sparring partner was a Sirfetch'd in black and green armor, who was deftly countering her swipes with his leek blade.

"Ha! Haha! Good show Stella, that's enough for now."

"Very well, Sir Quackmire."

Sir Quackmire gazed out into the distance. "I do love our training sessions but there's a meteor to be found! Adventure awaits!"

Stella let out a long, drawn out sigh. She wanted to tell him, he was her mentor, her friend, but she knew she couldn't yet.

But this awaiting adventure would be far from simple.

***

 

[Sastrei]

I'm back! A short chapter this time but i still had fun.

"I have come to deliver a report."

"Of what sort?"

Mullein chuckled. "Excellent rhyme there, my lady.

Lovely rhyming pun here, I giggled.

"Why? It's just a rock." said Laila.

"I'm a rock," said Fornax, deadpan.

This also made me giggle. It's like Kratos' cynicism is wearing off on Fornax here. Haha

He thought briefly of his own connection to the Desians, and their true purpose to bring an end to all beings.

...No, couldn't be. And it wasn't like he could tell these Pokemon of his past. He would have to find a way to deal with this... but later.

This makes me curious as to whether or not the pokemon involved will somehow learn of Kratos' true identity!

It was already clear whatever we're dealing with is not of this world. But this indicates.. I don't know for certain but it could be worse than even that."

Hmmm, the plot thickens. What will Kratos' arrival mean for this pokemon world, I wonder?

Reading this is making me appreciate the Symphonia fandom all over again, thanks for another update :D