Pokémon Pincurchin V. Pyukumuku V. Snom rap battle

[Kandykorn]

TRIGGER WARNINGS
CURSING!

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“Pokemon.

There are so many nowadays.

But there are three that stand above the rest. Three pokemon, so similar, yet so different. Losers, freaks, and pokemon geeks, my name is Anita Winner, and this is: Small Guy Rap Battle 2024!

Let’s bring in the competitors!

At a respectable 2.2 pounds, Putting the “Poke” in Pokemon, the one, the only, PINCURCHIN!

Weighing a comfortable 2.6, and making all the ladies' innards come out, the sea-slug from alola, PYUKUMUKU!

Coming in at 8.4 pounds, the fan favorite! A bug in the streets, but cold as ice in the sheets, it’s SNOM!

Three adorable guys for sure, but who will win it all? Find out today!”

Anita nods at the three competitors. Their trainers set each of them on a stool on the stage, surrounded by thousands of adoring fans.

The music starts.

Snom wriggles up to her mic.

“You know where I’m from!

Galar, Bitch I’m snom.

I’m not gonna be nice, cold as ice, got no dice.

You’re going down!

I’m the queen, you're a peasant.

This is not gonna be pleasant!

Deader than cooked unfeasent!

I own the crown.

When I was first brought out!

Already got the clout!

There’s no damn need to pout!

In my lyrics you drown!

I hit you with a blizzard!

No, you haven’t misheard!

I’ll cover you in hail!

I will always prevail!

I know that I’m the bomb!

From Galar, bitch I’m Snom!”

The crowd erupts. Anita smirks. “Pyukumuku, your rebuttal?”

Pyukumuku’s hand comes out, grabs the mic.

“Snom, Your egos inflated.

You’re a fan favorite but hella overrated.

When I look at you, I, what’s that word?

Laugh to myself knowing you’ll get third.

You think you’re gonna prevail?

Dude, You’re bug/ice. You’re frail.

How do you think you can beat me?

If one ember brings you to low HP?

So this is my decree:

I’m gonna win!

I’m in pink and black!

Always on the attack!

While you’re out here cold and freezing

I’m on the beach swimming and breezing

Pincurchin, sorry to ignore you here.

I was just following by example I fear.

You’re just the least popular out on this road.

Destined to be 100% overshadowed.

So, in conclusion and destiny

The winner is gonna be me.

There’s no need to shout.

Pyukumuku out!”

Pyukumuku reached out their hand and dropped the mic. The crowd exploded in applause once again. Pincurchin hopped onto it’s mic.

“Bring her home, Pincurchin.” Anita said.

“Snom’s overrated? You’re one to talk.

You’re logic’s so fragile, mines hard as a rock.

Your raps made the audience so quiet you’d hear the drop of a pin.

Looks like things are once again coming up Pincurchin!

Electric type and I can rap!

Don’t get too close, know I zap!

You two are stupid and whiny!

I’m solid and I’m so spiny!

So go to that river you’ll cry me!

Pincurchin!

You know I’m gonna win!

to lay it out before thee

Love underdog story!

Come like a sharpedo fin!

Things are coming up!

Pin!

Cur!

Chin!”

The crowd explodes! Our three small guys wait eagerly for the results.

“This is where it’s up to you, glorious crowd! To decide a winner, Simply react to the poll! Our Competitors eagerly await your responses!”

 

[Negrek]

I think I'm going to have to give this one to pyukmuku. As the only pokémon here physically capable of doing a proper mic drop, it has something of an unfair advantage. Probably my favorite part of this was actually the character intros; for some reason, "putting the 'poke' in Pokémon" got me way too hard.

Looks like you've got a rogue [/ISPOILER] tag at the end of your post! Should be easy enough to zap.

 

[K_S]

Pokerap review/reaction

So many? Understatement of the verse. Next entrys probably gunna tip the counter to 1k but until a-z is released...

Snorts... Yeah it is an animate pincussion thats for sure. I suspect pincurchins a favorite...

Mr disembowlment himself looks like hes contestent number two...

And for three we have? Snom? Per fandom respurces i suspect we have a winner by a land... Snow... Avalanch side but lets see how the lyrics play out...

I can see this little ice bug churruping into a mic and jessie and james from the anime verse going all "whats it saying?"

And meowth's all "we'd lose our rankin' as kid friendly if i spilled the beans".

Pyukumuku. Aka sea cucumber is next...
And its mocking snoms poor type advantage... Hitting its remaining foe below the popularity belt and using its innards to drop the mic...

And we end on authors fav it seems... Hes his own cheer squad i see... And while there was a really neat oportunity to mock pyu' s obliviousness and crying a own river with its typing to get some of its own back it being its own cheer squad was cute.

I've tossed my vote above may the best mon win...