Nil Plateaus

[windskull]

Nip's shadow said nothing, but gave Vix a polite nod. It was unclear whether it was surprised into silence, or if it was satisfied. Either way, it returned to Nip's side, and sat down beside him.

Nip seemed surprised by Vix's touch, but he offered her a weak smile. "I... thank you. I'll return to the village later, but I need some time to think."

Once she was far enough away, Nip's smile faded. He tilted his head to look towards the sky, watching swirls of red dust caught on the breeze. All the while, Vix's words echoed in his head.

"If I were to give a bit of advice, it'd be..." her voice trailed off as she thought. She didn't have anything in mind at first, but something... came to her. Something she might have needed to do herself. "It'd be to forgive yourself, I think. Or maybe I'm just projecting onto you."

I wish it was that simple, he thought. But I don't think I can. I'm not even sure I should.

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[Fusion]

It had been quiet since Raven left. No one else really showed up, at least none that also came to look for Vix. Not that she would have noticed. Nor Scrafty, considering how he felt he had to look over the Chandelure. Even then, Vix always managed to vanish and pop up somewhere else, leaving Scrafty to race around to find her. Whenever Scrafty did find Vix, usually surrounded by Void Shadows, she wouldn't say a word and floated behind him back to the village.

This time was no different at first; Vix had left Scrafty to go somewhere, and Scrafty was hot on her trail the second he took notice. He found her quite easily, too. Vix was simply floating by the edge of some cliff, looking over the rest of the Voidlands in silence. There weren't any Void Shadows nearby, just Vix.

"There you are, kid," Scrafty tittered. "It's almost time for the big fight inside Maple. You ready to see the others again? I feel like a lotta 'em would be stoke seein' again."

Vix remained silent. It didn't look like she knew Scrafty was there, or cared for that matter. Scrafty gritted his teeth and sighed. "Right... yeah, this is still happenin'." More silence. Not even the wind was blowing. That is, until Scrafty sucked his teeth and grimaced. "I honestly get why you're so fucked up over this shit, but it has been several fuckin' days already, Vix. I dunno 'bout you, but I'm gettin' tired of this shit."

"..." Vix was still quiet, but she twitched ever so slightly. Her body, still not entirely reformed, started to melt slightly more.

With a sigh and a shake of his head, Scrafty sat beside Vix, looking out at hell's expanse. "...Look, Vix, the others ain't gonna wait on us. An' you can't fight like... this. You still wanna be a hero, right?"

"..."

"If you do, ya need to... to..." Scrafty's voice drifted off. Whatever he thought he was trying to say never came out, and nothing that came to mind seemed to work with what he already said. So he just sat there beside her, looking off into the distance.

Everything was... quiet. Still. Peaceful. Scrafty looked over at Vix, seeing that same expressionless stare on her face and how dim her eyes got, and turned away. An uncomfortable burn rose inside his chest, a mix of guilt and frustration at how little he could help Vix.

"...Honestly, I don't really know what I want," Vix suddenly said. Her gaze stayed on the view before them, and her voice was as dead as always. "...No, that's a lie... I want to stay here... But I know I can't..."

Scrafty sighed, his shadowy form faltering. "Yeah. Even if Diyem didn't wanna kick you out, you got shit to do out there. And in here, soon enough. There's still a fight we gotta win, people to save, mistakes to make up for, all that shit."

Somehow, Vix's already dim body got darker. "...No matter how things change, that always stays the same... I'm always got something to make up for, don't I? Always have, even before I was me."

"Oh, so you've still been meditatin', even after..." Scrafty grimaced. "Guess that explains why you've been runnin' off. Ya coulda told me, I'd have left you alone and saved myself the trouble of findin' you."

"...Yeah. Not this time, though. I just... wanted some time alone. More, time alone... I guess that means time with you, in the end." Vix turned to Scrafty. Even with her expressionless face, the Shadow knew she was trying to smile. "...Maybe I should've given that a shot, being around you, even when I don't want to be."

Scrafty gave a small smile back, then shook his head. "Nah, I've been too gung-ho about you rememberin' everythin'. I'm surprised you waited 'till now to try and get away from me."

"...No, I think I have been for a while now. I... don't feel ready yet, for any of this. Everything I remember is painful, and everything I'm doing now is... too much," Vix sighed, turning away. "...I want there to be an end to it... but at least, when I'm here, I feel... safe from it all. Even if it's always crawling on my back."

There was another moment of silence between the two, as they took in the vastness of the Voidlands once again. After a little while, Scrafty moved over beside Vix, patting his lap. The Chandelier hesitantly rested her head on him, sighing.

"...I guess now's as good a time as any," Scrafty muttered, gently resting his paw on Vix. "When we died, and you turned into you... I was all that was left behind. I hated what we had done, everything we did... so I tried to stay away from you, thinkin' that if I did, you wouldn't remember any of this shit. I thought it'd help you... I hoped it would... I'm sorry."

Vix was silent, taking what Scrafty said in. That had to have been a bad sign, right? Was she upset? She must have been... So, Scrafty went on. "I... never would have came back to you, if it weren't for you comin' here, meetin' Diyem, and goin' through this stuff. But when I saw how... broken you were, I knew I fucked up. I couldn't give all our memories back at once, since that'd just shatter you apart, but there was one memory I wanted to make sure you got, whether you started rememberin' shit or not."

Spoiler: My Last Memory

I picked myself up off the ground, coughin' up some dark blood and shiverin'. Damn was it cold. The room around me was ruined as hell; broken wires, shattered windows and glass, knocked down walls and pillars... Hell, there was still some dark and light aura burnin' 'round this place. We really did a number on this room, huh? I might've... lost myself in that fight a few times, but I think I've done it! I got her! I won! And hey, for how much I've been knocked around, my body ain't in that much pain neither! Talk about a win-win, haha!

It's still kinda hard to walk, but I was goin' all out climbin' this goddamn tower and fightin' that bitch. Makes sense I'd be tired and sore. I should be able to get back home, at least. Speakin' of home... where is that bitch? Gotta make sure I got her good... not that I could do any more like this, but maybe I can tell her off and get her to quit this bullshit she's been pullin'.

I hardly took a step forward before I realized that she was lyin' down right in front of me in a pile of rubble and glass. Beaten, bloody, totally still, and dimming. That light aura broke off into tiny bits and rose off of her, fizzling out a bit after. I think that meant she was still alive. Actually, that dark aura on me was doin' the same thing, so I guess she was.

I was just about to go off on her, openin' my mouth and all that, but nothin' came out. My chest kinda... felt heavy. Real heavy, just from lookin' down at her. And I think I was... cryin'? I've been waitin' to do this for years, my whole life in fact, so why the hell..?

"Wh-Who... I-Is... that..?"

...What? I looked down at Edrea, blinkin'. It wasn't that easy to see, turns out, but she was awake... and her mouth was movin'... but that didn't soudn like her. Ain't nearly as snotty and high-horse enough.

"N-No, it... can't be..."

Oh for... "The hell... are you on about..?" I said. Damn, I had to force that out. I must be more tired than I thought. "'Course it's me... we've been... fightin' for like... I dunn--"

"D-Drake..? No... Drake's still..."

I gritted my teeth, snarlin'. "Are you still tryin' to rub in the fact that you killed him?! I-I should've tried to break that god...damn jaw..!" I coughed up more of that black blood, and my knees felt weak. Damn her! Goddamn her! I bet that wasn't even actual remorse, that bitch!

"...He is... still..." Edrea... froze. She turned her head away, and shook slightly. Was she... cryin'? "What... What have I..?"

"This... This better not be some fuckin' trick. You're regrettin' this now? NOW?! How deep a hole do ya gotta dig yourself into before you realize how fuckin' shitty you are?" I barked, although... was she fakin' this? Somethin'... somethin' in me was sayin' she wasn't... but like hell would that be true! "Q-Quit that fake cryin' out before... before..."

"Gods... Drake..." Edrea was ignorin' me, of course. Fuckin' hell... "M-My boy... my... my Kane... What... have I... done?"

I... what? Who the hell... was this..? Was this all an act? The hell..? D-did I... did I do something wrong? "...Edrea?"

She looked at me again, and her eyes widened. "You... wh-whoever you... are... Please... my Kane..."

"N-No... No, I..." What the hell is this..? What the fuck is this..! "I didn't..! I-I didn't..!"

"P-Please... C-Can you find... my son..?" Edrea's plead struck like a knife, bringing me to my knees. I-I... can't breath..! My head... m-my chest... What the hell is going on?! "M-My dear... child... I've..."

"I-I thought... wasn't this the right choice?! Ain't this what I was supposed to do?!" E-Everything... M-My... No I, I'm not... I didn't..! I couldn't breath, I couldn't think... nothing was making sense! What the hell was I doing? My hands reached up for Edrea's, shaky and weak... and covered in darkness and... and blood? Th-Those were my hands? My claws?

"I... need to... tell him..." Edrea went on, bringing her other hand over mines and holding them gently. "I-I've... done something... horrible... M-My... son... f-find him... P-Please..."

Her... voice. That was her voice. The voice I forgot, from so long ago. The light around her body wasw fading even faster, and her breathe left her body. She tried taking deep breaths, her entire body shook, her eyes started to dim... and she was so cold. "No... I was... I thought..."

Between her short, raspy breaths, Edrea gripped my hands as tight as she could. "Please... my Kane... I... I need him..." Her grip loosened. I could feel her slipping away.

"I-I'm right here... I'm right here..! Hold on for a bit longer, I..." I couldn't do anything, but... I couldn't just...

"I... need you... to ask him..." Edrea spoke. She was still so... calm. "T-To... find it... in his heart..." Even as she slipped away, as I held on for as long as I could... "I-In his... heart... to... to..." It felt like everything had slowed down, as I tried to hear everything she had to say. I couldn't let her go, she could leave me again... not when I just... when I...

"I-I'm so sorry..." I cried, biting my lip and shaking. "Edrea... I'm... so sorry..."

Edrea paused for a moment, and I was scared she... left. But she took one, last breath, then looked me in my eyes. For a second... I could have sworn... they lit up again.

"Please... for...give...."

...She was gone. And all she left me was the smile on her face...

Something in me... broke. Tears flooded from my eyes. An unbearable pain struck through my chest. My body felt like it was tearing itself apart. I felt small... defenseless... useless... but above all of that, I was... happy. It was weird, right? Being happy and sad at the same time. I... didn't care. I don't care. I got... what I needed... I could let go... finally... Everything I've done... Everything she did... it didn't matter to me.

I'm... happy.

Wisps and strands of shadows rose off of Scrafty's body as he started to lose his shape. He didn't seem to care. "I was hopin' you'd remember it sooner rather than later, but... guess all the bad shit wanted to get out of the way first. I hope this helps..."

Vix stayed quiet as the memory flowed into her, bringing a warm chill along with it. Before she even realized it, tears were streaming down her face. Scrafty must've taken that as a good sign, as he let out a chuckle.

"...Strangely, of all the things I can still remember, that's the one that still brings a smile to my face. It took me a few years to get to that point, though. I... hated everything about it, in fact, I wanted to forget it entirely... but I wouldn't let myself. It used to be a reminder of the shit I've done... but, now it's the best memory I got left," he said, softly. "Now it's yours, kid. There's more stuff you gotta bring back, but... that can be on your time. I... hope this ain't too big a thing to drop on you now, hell, I don't know if it'll actually help you, but..." he paused, then sucked his teeth. "...Shit, Vix? You alright? I, uh, didn't break you... did I?"

"...Yeah," Vix sniffled. Her body pulled itself back together. "I mean, no, you didn't. I'm fine... Thank you." She got up, smilling, but Scrafty was still a shapeless shadow. His glare remained at least. "...Are you alright?"

"Not in the slightest," Scrafty said, chuckling. "But this ain't about me, is it? You feelin' ready for a fight?"

"Not in the slightest," Vix laughed, some of her usual color returning to her body. "But that's never stopped us before, hasn't it?"

"I'd be damned if it did," Scrafty remarked. "Well... I mean... seein' where we are and all that..."

Vix shook her head, taking a deep breath and exhaling, a dark purple flame rising from her head. "Eh, don't think about it too hard. Gotta save all that for our fight with Maple, you know? We should start getting ready for that."

"Yeah..." Scrafty muttered, then shook his shadowy head. "You sure you still up to fight?"

"Yep. I'll be honest, that memory was kinda... a lot, but I needed it. I needed to know I didn't totally mess up in the end," Vix nodded, smiling. "All that shit I did, wasn't for nothing. Everything I do won't be for nothing. I just gotta make it to the end to see it. I gotta hold on 'till the end."

Scrafty went silent, then his glare softened, and he started snifling. Vix snorted, covering her face. "A-Are you crying?"

"F-Fuck off..." he said, wiping his eyes with a shadowy tendril. "I got some shit in my eye, is all."

"Yeah, sure," Vix said, shaking her head as she turned to leave. "I'll leave you be to get that shit outta your eye, do whatever you gotta." She floated a bit away before stopping. "Oh, and Scrafty?" The Shadow looked up at her, still "trying to get something out of his eye." "Thank you, really."

Vix left the shadow weeping on the plateau, wiping a tear out of her own eye. She hit rock bottom before, now it was time to climb back towards the surface. She couldn't give up, not again, not after all this.

Never again.

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