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Pokémon Message From A Better World

Oneshot

Shiny Phantump

Through Dream, I Travel
Location
Hallownest
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. sylveon
  2. absol-mega
  3. silvally-psychic
  4. ninetales-phantump
  5. cosmog
  6. gallade-phantump
  7. ceruledge-phantump
  8. mismagius
A oneshot written for the Weird and Wonderful oneshot contest, where it won second place in Ditto Flight. The original contest version had some serious "submitted one minute before deadline" grammar errors/typos, which have been ironed out for this release. I've also made some tweaks to help it flow better, I think. (If anyone's curious, a completely unedited version is included in a spoilerbox at the bottom of the thread.)

The lore explantion included with the submission was:
In Sun and Moon, with the box legend in your party after becoming champion, you can visit the Altar of the Sunne/Moone in the night/day and find a wormhole. It lets you go visit an entire alternate universe corresponding to the other game version, time-flipped and with a different altar and lake. This serves exclusively to allow you to find and catch this parallel universe's Cosmog from the Lake of the (your game version), even though there's no Cosmog in your universe to appear there. Stranger still. It'll ultimately evolve into the box legend you already had.

Despite only serving that one purpose, it's a fully, 100% explorable parallel universe! It's weird! It otherwise recycles the flags from the main game world leading to logical inconsistencies where people claim you've already done daily events that day, gotten items from them, you can have your Gladion tell to go to Aether to pick up a Null, get a Null from parallel Gladion, and then have your Gladion ask you how the Null he gave is doing, and you can even defend "your" champion title in a parallel universe. But I've always seen that as a game limitation.

What else could be here without those limitations? And what is that Cosmog, anyway?


Content warning for the subject of death.



Message From A Better World:
It’s strange to think that it was mostly happenstance that led to you being the one assigned to investigate the new wormhole that had opened itself at the Altar of the Moone. Interpol refused to let someone who wasn’t already a faller anywhere near it, much less through it. Anabel was busy on another continent, you’d worked with them successfully before, and it was the off-season for championship challengers. That left you with time for weird things like this.

It’s strange to think that, on the other side of that wormhole is a world almost exactly like this one. Almost, but with some obvious differences. You know what the big one is, but you couldn’t have recognized that one right away. The first tell that you hadn’t just looped back into your own universe at the exact place you’d left would be the time. Your travel only took a few seconds, but when you arrived it was the dead of night. The second would be the altar’s regalia. This was not your Altar of the Moone, but the Altar of the Sunne.

Nebula, the Lunala you’d helped Lillie raise, asked you to wait for a while, in case this world’s own Solgaleo or Lunala sensed her arrival and came to check what was happening. You used the time to pull your phone from your purse and see if it could connect to this world’s internet. The one bar of signal strength that the altar got from the cell tower set up to service the area around the dragon trial isn’t great, but it’s one bar more than you’re used to getting from atop Lanakila. You felt that was pretty good for an alternate universe.

It took a few tries and connection timeouts for you to successfully look up ‘altar of the sun alola’ and get a wiki page to load. It was a short page documenting largely the same history you’d have known from back home, except that the followers of Solgaleo here were the royal branch family, instead of Lunala’s. You didn’t tell Nebula that the main branch had been the ones to worship her here. You thought she already had a bit of an ego. The main point of interest on the wiki page was what wasn’t listed, instead of what was: The incidents that had occurred during your island challenge weren’t there at all, the page gave the image of an altar that had been inert since old times.

You suspected this world didn’t have its own Nebula based on that information, and indeed no Solgaleo nor Lunala came to greet you. That would make things more difficult to answer the basic questions about what this world was, its relationship to Ultra Space, and how it had become linked to your own. You wouldn’t be able to answer them all. Maybe that means you’ll be back to learn more someday in the future. That would be nice.

Your bank card would be no good here, and spending cash felt like a bad idea to you when it wasn’t part of this world’s economic system. But trainer cards don’t have as much security in them, so you decided to crash at a centre until the morning. Even if you weren’t tired, you wouldn’t really be able to talk to the people of this world until they woke up.

The receptionist at the center Nebula dropped you off at didn’t seem to think anything of your presence. No name or face recognition. You didn’t know exactly what that meant yet, all you knew for certain was that this world didn’t have a Champion Selene.

It’s easier to say with the power of retrospect that you should’ve begun developing suspicions at that point, but you’d assumed that no version of you had existed in this world without noticing you were making an assumption. As if your championship was an inevitability from the moment you were born, and its absence meant you must never have been born at all.

It probably didn’t help your reasoning that you were running a sleep deficit from the swarm of challengers all trying to get a shot at the crown before you called the end of the season. You’d hardly be the only champion to have to deal with that problem. Stopped you being restless and awake through this world’s night because of the time jump.

You woke up next morning with a clearer head and a resolution to commune with the Tapu. Tapu Koko in particular had liked you from the start of your journey, when they’d saved you and ‘Nebby’. You got yourself a coffee from the centre’s café and then asked Nebula to teleport you to… Mahalo Trail.

That bridge is an emotionally charged place. It seems ironic that you decided to sit there of all places to finish your coffee, legs dangling out over the rapids below. But it didn’t feel that way to you, you had a lot of good moments with the one in your world. It was where you’d met Lillie, and the two of you had a few important conversations here, especially in the days before she left you to go to Kanto.

The differences between this world’s bridge and the one you shared those moments on are subtle enough that most people wouldn’t sense anything amiss right away, but you’d spent more time there than anyone else you know of, so you spot them immediately. The planks are closer together, and this in turn partially conceals that they’re held aloft by steel chains and not rope. The railings are still ripe, but rise taller than the original ones did and the cross-hatching of ropes between the bridge and top guard rope is denser.

The bridge back in your world is as identical as possible, a loving recreation of the historic bridge as authentic as possible. This one is subtly stronger, designed to make sure what happened there could never happen again. Which is funny, because none of these measures would have prevented the original’s collapse. Nebby very literally tried to create space between themself and the Spearow circling them. No metal chains or safer rails would make a bridge withstand suddenly needing to be several feet longer than it is because a Cosmog distorted reality around it.

You weren’t sure if things genuinely happened differently here, or if they just didn’t understand why the bridge collapsed, but taken in combination with the way this world was missing its Solgaleo or Lunala, the range of possibilities was wide enough to frighten you. That was the moment you realized the kinds of things you needed to be looking up online to find out what was wrong with this twin world.

A search for ‘mahalo trail bridge collapse’ yielded more news articles than you’d expected, from bigger outlets than should’ve been covering it. You feel sick to your stomach as you read the headline. As you see the words. ‘Young woman dead.’ As you see the accompanying photo. Of your face.

That’s why nobody recognized you as Champion Selene. Before it even began, your journey was… over. Because some girl you didn’t even yet know lost control of a species you wouldn’t yet have recognized as important, and didn’t have the spine to handle a rope bridge and a few Spearow on her own. And no one had saved you. You must have been horrified, realizing what had become of you in this world.

You certainly weren’t keen on communing with Tapu Koko anymore.

The articles were missing something, though. You opened them and skimmed through a few, some made mention of a witness, but none of a Cosmog. The bridge’s collapse was assumed to be structural in nature. That made it impossible to track what might’ve happened with this world’s Nebula. But there was someone who should know.

The most recent contact in your phone was Lillie. You called her, only to be told by an automated message that her number could not be reached, and asked you to try again later. You tried her brother’s contact next. This time, someone picked up.

Gladion picked up with the same tired, dispassionate tone he usually does with people he doesn’t recognize. You introduced yourself as a faller, and gave him your name. He asked you a few pointed questions about where you’d even heard that word, and you must’ve answered to his satisfaction because he chose to believe you.

You asked him where to find Lillie. He told you to go to the peak of Mount Lanakila and ask for an off-docket match.

So that’s what you did.

The Elite Four had left for the day already. Knowing you, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference if they hadn’t. Might’ve slowed you down, but there’s a reason you’re a champion instead of them, and you were prepared to fight with a single-minded ferocity the likes of which you hadn’t wielded since your first trip to Ultra Space. You head straight up the stairs to the peak of Mount Lanakila, to the champion’s seat.

You lock eyes with me.

A challenge from one trainer to another.

I must have looked like I’d seen a ghost. You looked worried about me. We took a moment to size up the familiarities and differences. This version of you was older now, obviously. There’s a scar running down your nose to your cheek, one you’d later tell me you got protecting your world’s version of me. I don’t look like someone who needs protecting anymore. I’m stronger than that. I’m not a weak little girl who’d need to endanger someone else for help dealing with a Spearow. That much is obvious from looking at me.

You called me by her name. “Lillie.” I don’t use that diminutive nickname anymore. It doesn’t sound right for the person I am. I corrected you, and you were transparently saddened by it. I am Lillian Mohn.

You introduced yourself as Champion Selene of another world. You don’t have to explain what it means. You know that Nebby took me from Aether, and therefore that I’m a faller in my own right. I already know what it means. And it makes intuitive sense that there is a world where everything went right and you’re champion instead of me. I attended the funeral. I heard about your potential. It just makes sense, the fact that I am here because I took this opportunity from you.

We both reached for our leads in unison. You took your starter, the Primarina who you named Setsuko. I lead Polaris, who stares down the other fairy with pride as his Snow Warning kicks in. You immediately started calculating around the durability granted by Aurora Veil and the damage potential of Freeze Dry and realized you‘d lost the initiative. You pivoted to your Mismagius, who you named Morgana. Polaris does know Aurora Veil, and fanned out his tails as he got to raise one for free.

You called for Mean Look, thinking you could weather the storm from a more defensive Ninetales and prevent Polaris passing advantage to an ally. You wanted to limit my strategic possibility space, increase your ability to plan ahead once you knew what was coming. That’s what makes you tick. You live in a world of statistics measured per-hundred-battles, of strategic guarantees, and logical inevitabilities.

Your face contorted for a moment as I called for Sheer Cold instead of Blizzard or Freeze Dry. Like you’re insulted that I’d use such a move in the most important battle of my life. But I don’t live in your world. There’s no such thing as safe in my world, and watching you realize that as your plans destabilize proves the move’s value even as it fails to connect. There’s no such thing as a safe moment in front of Polaris and I.

You weren’t willing to cede your plan over to the fear of a Sheer Cold connecting. You called Perish Song, becoming committed to the trap. I didn’t see a point in trading Polaris for a bit of Blizzard damage, especially when you’d probably just Pain Split it off. I call Sheer Cold again. No hit yet.

When you called Thunder Wave, I realize that Morgana probably knows a hybrid Hex set and not a pure Perish Trap set with Pain Split. Polaris can’t get an attack off, and Morgana laughs at him. He snarls back, his pride wounded.

With the precise timing of someone who’d done so a thousand times before, you pivoted the moment before the song’s enchantment took effect, cutting it close enough that I didn’t have time to react to the dropped Mean Look trap. I recall seeing the satisfaction starting to settle on your face at your success. But Polaris does his best work when his back is to the wall and his ego is on the line. Your Lurantis was barely out of the ball before he landed a Sheer Cold. I didn’t even catch their name before they were enveloped in a maelstrom of bitter ice. Crystals formed on their skin for a brief moment before their ball’s automatic recall pulled them back. Polaris fainted with a marked contentment at the trade.

I took the loss of your grass type as a cue to use Ophelia. You draw a premier ball, even though all your other team members were caught in pragmatic balls. I already suspected what your fourth team member was. After all, we both got the same starter, so what’s one more similarity. A Silvally, eyes and crest a steely grey, emerges. You called them Hayahito. I wish I could say why, but I guess you’d already know.

They looked at Ophelia, dimensional twin to their own teammate, then up at me, then back and forth again. Both of us almost recognizable as people they know, but neither of us quite the same.

Maybe I should have given them more time to adjust before calling Hydro Pump. But there’s no point in regretting it now. Even as the move was still rolling over them, they readied a multi-attack and fought to move against the current before leaping into a strike the moment the pressure let up.

They made sure to attack and stay near Ophelia’s flank without being overtly instructed to do so. Maybe your team members sparred with each other sometimes, or maybe they just had good instincts, but that made it hard for Ophelia to hit them. I called an Aqua Jet out straight ahead to reposition and create space, you called Pursuit to keep the flank position, even if it didn’t hurt too much.

I called Dazzling Gleam, since the burst could hit a whole radius around Ophelia. Despite the type disadvantage, I’d been hoping the threat would force you to tell Hayahito to back off and give us space. As she reared up on her tail, though, they started channeling a multi-attack before even getting your call to confirm it. The blow toppled Ophelia, but not before her own attack connected.

Hayahito was visibly drained, but standing. Panting through their beak while their eyes burned determination to keep fighting. I know what it took my brother to evolve his Silvally, and what that implies about the two of you as partners.

Ophelia, by contrast, isn’t getting up. I recalled her, and sent out Vela. He disappeared into the shadows just as quickly as he appeared. This late in the day, the shadows on top of Mount Lanakila are long, and he has no trouble dealing a quick, decisive blow to the back of Hayahito’s head without revealing himself.

I’ve been trying not to lean too hard on Vela in my championship matches. Mimikyu do best with occasional battling, if their disguises get broken too often it starts to stress them out. But fighting you, I pushed away any thoughts like that. I needed everyone to win, to prove we did deserve to be there at the mountain’s peak even with you here. Ha, I think I was a little afraid of you at the time. Didn’t want you to be better than me.

You pulled Setsuko back out for the first time since your lead. Your Primarina. I called for Swords Dance. You called Moonblast, channeling the light of the rising moon and sending Vela skittering back out of his shadows with the head of his disguise trailing behind him.

There’s not much point in pretending you can issue calls to a Mimikyu who just had his disguise broken. I’ve raised him to have good instincts in a fight, even when he’s furious. He throws a vicious shadow claw into Setsuko’s flank, and you call for Sparkling Aria. It can consistently hit someone as slippery as Vela, but it’s not strong enough to secure the one hit knockout that you really needed if you were to get Vela off before he brought his wrath down on Setsuko a second time. Primarina just aren’t built for physical assaults like this, her good constitution let her shrug it off once, but there aren’t many who get third chances against Vela.

They’d have one-shot Morgana if you pulled her back out, so you’re forced down to your fifth partner. You and I had both still kept one team member back, and you were the first to be forced down to your last trick. I’m proud of that fact.

You called out for Nebula.

I knew that name. I remembered giving it to a sweet-looking little Cosmog. Something I thought deserved a chance, before it… You know… Before it ended your life and changed mine forever.

I hadn’t seen it since it disappeared that night, much less known that it could evolve.

But it was The Moon Herself that answered the call. Your world’s Nebula was now a Lunala. She whispered to me in my mind.

Lillie? It’s me, Nebby.

I’d never have recognized her as that Cosmog if she didn’t tell me. She looks so different now.

This is unnecessary, she told me, Call off this pointless battle.

I… called out to Vela. And he pounced. His claw raked down Nebula’s wing. Her retaliation was swift and overwhelming. Vela’s ball triggers its automatic recall before her Moongeist Beam even dissipates. Then she locked eyes with me, furious.

You understood why I did it, even if Nebby didn’t. That you would have been champion if you’d lived meant that I should be the worse champion. That I was still weaker than you. You didn’t think it was true, but you could tell I did. So you gestured to the open field, and I drew a master ball from my bag.

Nebula didn’t think I could handle her. I had to prove her wrong. Aphelion emerged from the ball, their deep voice rumbling in a way that shook our bones.

(After the battle, you’d admitted you’d fought your own UB-Black in your own Ten Carat Hill. But it had never even crossed your mind to try to catch it, much less train it. The UBs you had caught seemed too unstable and predictable to train even without the sheer power UB-Black had, and you’d never made the connection to the old myths of the lightless star, Necrozma.)

Your hand shot to your pocket to retrieve a z-crystal, and I mirrored the gesture. Our Black Hole Eclipse exploded out towards Nebula before settling above her head, an emptiness trying to swallow her whole before you could finish getting your Neverending Nightmare to connect. Aphelion creaked and groaned, trying to float back and forth to avoid flailing tendrils woven from grudges older than any of us there. Aphelion’s Black Hole Eclipse swallowed Nebula whole and burst, the arms of her Neverending Nightmare frantically writhing, battering them to the ground. Then, quickly as it started, two z-moves from two of the most powerful species on earth went silent as their users collapsed.

Neither of them rose again.

When I drew my own premier ball, you just pointed to it instead of drawing Morgana’s own. You asked what type it was. I said normal, not quite admitting that we hadn’t managed to evolve them into a Silvally at all yet, even though you probably guessed as much anyway.

“Pursuit?”

I shook my head. Crush Claw, U-Turn, Protect, Toxic. Immune to Hex, but with nothing that could take out Morgana in three turns.

You extended your hand and started to cross the arena.

“Perish Song.”

A draw.

You were grinning when we shook hands at the center of the arena, even though you hadn’t managed to win. Or because of it, maybe. When we were talking afterwards, you told me there really weren’t many people in your world who could challenge you. Apparently, the other me didn’t really want to be a strong trainer that badly. Almost didn’t become one at all. It’s hard to wrap my head around that.

You told me a lot about her, your team, your world. That was when you asked for my help finding out what happened to my Nebby after I lost them. You told me how the Nebby you knew had been drawn to places of spiritual power, and even if I hadn’t seen them since losing track of them that day on the bridge, which was enough for us to start reasoning our way towards putting the Lake of the Moone on the short list of places they could’ve ended up.

I made you go check those places on your own. I didn’t want to be there when you found that Cosmog. I’m not eager to see them again. But you still told me where you’d found them, pulled me into planning what to do with them. It’s a champion’s responsibility to help deal with powerful forces of nature like that, after all.

Now, the plan is to have Nebby look after our world’s future Lunala, until they grow up. I’m certainly not going to do it, and nobody’s seen either of our world’s past Lunala for so long that I’m not sure my world has one to teach them anymore. Yours didn’t. Your Lillie brought up Nebby as best she could without any members of their species to help.

I guess that means I’m probably going to see that version of you again, when you report in on that process. That’s something to look forward to. And I know another version of you saying you forgive me doesn’t necessarily mean you’d feel that way when you’re the one it actually happened to, but it was nice to hear before we parted for our own homes anyway. I’d like to think it counts for something, at least.

I know, I should probably come visit you more often, but… It’s hard, sometimes. I didn’t really get the impression that you’re the kind of person who’d appreciate flowers, but it’s rude to visit a burial site without leaving something, so I hope it’s at least alright.

I’m sorry about everything.

I’ll see you later.



It’s strange to think that it was mostly happenstance that led to you being the one assigned to investigate the new wormhole that had opened itself at the Altar of the Moone. Interpol refused to let someone who wasn’t already a faller anywhere near it, much less through it. Anabel was busy on another continent, you’d worked with them successfully before, and it was the off-season for championship challengers, so you had time for weird things like this.

It’s strange to think that, on the other side of that wormhole is a world almost exactly like this one. Almost, but with some obvious differences. You know what the big one is, but you couldn’t have recognized that one right away. The first tell that you hadn’t just looped back into your own universe at the exact place you’d left would be the time. Your travel only took a few seconds, but when you arrived it was the dead of night. The second would be the altar’s regalia. This was not your Altar of the Moone, but the Altar of the Sunne.

Nebula, the Lunala you’d helped Lillie raise, asked you to wait for a while, in case this world’s own Solgaleo or Lunala sensed her arrival and came to check what was happening. You used the time to pull your phone from your purse and see if it could connect to this world’s internet. The one bar of signal strength that the altar got from the cell tower set up to service the area around the dragon trial isn’t great, but it’s one bar more than you’re used to getting from atop Lanakila. You felt that was pretty good for an alternate universe.

It took a few tries and connection timeouts for you to successfully look up ‘altar of the sun alola’ and get a wiki page to load. It was largely the same history you’d have known from back home, except that the followers of Solgaleo here were the royal branch family, instead of Lunala’s. You didn’t tell Nebula that the main family had been the ones to worship her here. You thought she already had a bit of an ego. The main point of interest on the wiki page was what wasn’t listed, instead of what was: The incidents that had occurred during your island challenge weren’t there at all, the page gave the image of an altar that had been inert since old times.

You suspected this world didn’t have its own Nebula based on that information, and indeed no Solgaleo nor Lunala came to greet you. That would make things more difficult to answer the basic questions about what this world was, its relationship to ultra space, and how it had become linked to your own. You wouldn’t be able to answer them all. Maybe that means you’ll be back to learn more someday in the future. That would be nice.

Your bank card would be no good here, and spending cash felt like a bad idea to you when it and its serial numbers wouldn’t be part of this world’s economic system. But trainer cards don’t have as much security in them, so you decided to crash at a centre until the morning. Even if you weren’t tired, you wouldn’t really be able to talk to the people of this world until they woke up.

The receptionist at the center Nebula dropped you off at didn’t seem to think anything of your presence. No name or face recognition. You didn’t know exactly what that meant yet, all you knew for certain was that this world didn’t have a Champion Selene.

It’s easier to say with the power of retrospect that you should’ve begun developing suspicions at that point, but you’d assumed that no version of you had existed in this world without noticing you were making an assumption. As if your championship was an inevitability from the moment you were born, and its absence meant you must never have been born at all.

It probably didn’t help your reasoning that you were running a sleep deficit from the swarm of challengers all trying to get a shot at the crown before you called the end of the season. You’d hardly be the only champion to have to deal with that problem. At least it stopped you being restless and awake through this world’s night because of the time jump.

You woke up next morning with a clearer head and a resolution to commune with the Tapu. Tapu Koko in particular had liked you from the start of your journey, when they’d saved you and ‘Nebby’. You got yourself a coffee from the centre’s café and then asked Nebula to teleport you to… Mahalo Trail.

That bridge is an emotionally charged place. It seems ironic that you decided to sit there of all places to finish your coffee, legs dangling out over the rapids below. But it didn’t feel that way to you, you had a lot of good moments with the one in your world. It was where you’d met Lillie, and the two of you had a few important conversations here, especially in the days before she left you to go to Kanto.

The differences between this world’s bridge and the one you shared those moments on are subtle enough that most people wouldn’t sense anything amiss right away, but you’d spent more time there than anyone else you know of, so you spot them immediately. The planks are closer together, and this in turn partially conceals that they’re held aloft by steel chains and not rope. The railings are still ripe, but rise taller than the original ones did and the cross-hatching of ropes between the bridge and top guard rope is denser.

The bridge back in your world is as identical as possible, a loving recreation of the historic bridge as authentically as possible. This one is subtly stronger, designed to make sure what happened there could never happen again. Which is funny, because none of these measures would have prevented the original’s collapse. Nebby very literally tried to create space between themself and the Spearow circling them. No metal chains or safer rails would make a bridge withstand suddenly needing to be several feet longer than it is because a Cosmog distorted reality.

You weren’t sure if things genuinely happened differently here, or if they just didn’t understand why the bridge collapsed, but taken in combination with the way this world was missing its Solgaleo or Lunala, the range of possibilities was wide enough to frighten you. That was the moment you realized the kinds of things you needed to be looking up online to find out what was wrong with this twin world.

A search for ‘mahalo trail bridge collapse’ yields more news articles than it should, from bigger outlets than should’ve been covering it. You feel sick to your stomach as you read the headline. As you see the words. ‘Young woman dead.’ As you see the accompanying photo. Of your face.

That’s why nobody recognized you as Champion Selene. Before it even began, your journey was… over. Because some girl you didn’t even yet know lost control of a species you wouldn’t yet have recognized as important, and didn’t have the spine to handle a rope bridge and a few Spearow on her own. And no one had saved you. You must’ve been horrified, realizing what had become of you in this world.

You certainly weren’t keen on communing with Tapu Koko anymore.

The articles were missing something, though. You opened them and skimmed through a few, some made mention of a witness, but none of a Cosmog. The bridge’s collapse was assumed to be structural in nature. That made it impossible to track what might’ve happened with this world’s Nebula. But there was someone who should know.

The most recent contact in your phone was Lillie. You called her, only to be told by an automated message that her number could not be reached, and asked you to try again later. You tried her brother’s contact next. This time, someone picked up.

Gladion picked up with the same tired, dispassionate tone he usually does with people he doesn’t recognize. You introduced yourself as a faller, and gave him your name. He asked you a few pointed questions about where you’d even heard that word, and you must’ve answered to his satisfaction because he chose to believe you.

You asked him where to find Lillie. He told you to go to the peak of Mount Lanakila and ask for an off-docket match.

So that’s what you did.

The Elite Four had left for the day already. Knowing you, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference if they hadn’t. Might’ve slowed you down, but there’s a reason you’re a champion instead of them, and you were prepared to fight with a single-minded ferocity the likes of which you hadn’t wielded since your first trip to Ultra Space. You head straight up the stairs to the peak of Mount Lanakila, to the champion’s seat.

You lock eyes with me.

A challenge from one trainer to another.

I must have looked like I’d seen a ghost. You looked worried about me. We took a moment to size up the familiarities and differences. This version of you was older now, obviously. There’s a scar running down your nose to your cheek, one you’d later tell me you got protecting your world’s version of me. I don’t look like someone who needs protecting anymore. I’m stronger than that. I’m not a weak little girl who’d need to endanger someone else for help dealing with a Spearow. That much is obvious from looking at me.

You called me by her name. “Lillie.” I don’t use that diminutive anymore. It doesn’t sound right for the person I am. I corrected you, and you were transparently saddened by it. I am Lillian Mohn.

You introduce yourself as Champion Selene of another world. You don’t have to explain what it means. You know I’m a faller, that I already know about ultra space and other worlds. And I do. It makes sense, intuitively, that there is a world where everything went right and you’re champion instead of me. I attended the funeral. I heard about your potential. It just makes sense, the fact that I am here because I took this opportunity from you.

We both reach for our leads in unison. You reach for your starter, the Primarina who you named Setsuko. I lead Polaris, who stares down the other fairy with pride as his Snow Warning kicks in. You’re already calculating around the durability granted by Aurora Veil and the damage potential of Freeze Dry as you conclude you‘ve lost the initiative and pivot to your Mismagius, who you call Morgana. Polaris does know Aurora Veil, and he fans out his tails as he gets to raise one for free.

You call for Mean Look, thinking you can weather the storm from a more defensive Ninetales and prevent Polaris passing advantage to an ally. You want to limit my strategic possibility space, increase your ability to plan ahead now that you know what’s coming. That’s what makes you tick. You live in a world of statistics measured per-hundred-battles, of strategic guarantees, and logical inevitabilities.

Your face contorts for a moment as I call for Sheer Cold instead of Blizzard or Freeze Dry. Like you’re insulted that I’d use such a move in the most important battle of my life. But I don’t live in your world. There’s no such thing as safe or guaranteed in my world, and watching you realize that as your plans destabilize proves the move’s value even as it fails to connect. There’s no such thing as a safe moment in front of Polaris and I.

You’re not willing to cede your plan over to the fear that a Sheer Cold connects. You call Perish Song. You’re fully committed to the trap now. I see no point in trading Polaris for a bit of Blizzard damage, especially when you’ll probably just Pain Split it off. I call Sheer Cold again. No hit yet.

When you call Thunder Wave, I realize that Morgana probably knows a hybrid Hex set and not a pure Perish Trap set with Pain Split. Polaris can’t get an attack off, and Morgana laughs at him. He snarls back, his pride wounded.

With the precise timing of someone who’d done so a thousand times before, you pivot the moment before the song’s enchantment takes effect, cutting it close enough that I don’t have time to react to the dropped Mean Look trap. I can see satisfaction starting to settle on your face at pulling off the trap. But Polaris does his best work when his back is to the wall and his ego is on the line. Your Lurantis is barely out of the ball before he lands a Sheer Cold. I didn’t even catch their name before they were enveloped in a maelstrom of ice butter enough that even from your stand, you cover your eyes and take a forced step back. Ice crystals form on their skin for a brief moment before their ball’s automatic recall pulls them back. Polaris faints with a marked contentment at the trade.

I take the loss of your grass type as a cue to use Ophelia. You draw a premiere ball, even though all your other team members were caught in pragmatic balls, and I suspect I already know what your fourth team member is. We both got the same starter, too, so what’s one more similarity. A Silvally, eyes and crest a steely grey, emerges. You called them Hayahito. I wish I could say why, but I guess you’d already know.

They look at Ophelia, dimensional twin to their own teammate, then up at me, then back and forth again. Both almost recognizable as people they know, but neither of us is quite the same.

Maybe I should have given them more time to adjust before calling Hydro Pump. But there’s no point in regretting it now. Even as the move was still rolling over them, they readied a multi-attack and fought to move against the current before leaping into a strike the moment the pressure let up.

They made sure to attack and stay near Ophelia’s flank without being overtly instructed to do so. Maybe your team members sparred with each other sometimes, or maybe they just had good instincts, but that made it hard for Ophelia to hit them. I called an Aqua Jet out straight ahead to reposition and create space, you called Pursuit to keep the flank position, even if it didn’t hurt too much.

I called sparkling aria, since the burst could hit a whole radius around Ophelia, hoping the threat would force you to tell Hayahito to back off and give us space. As she reared up on her tail, though, they started channeling a multi-attack before even getting your call to confirm it. The blow toppled Ophelia, but not before her aria burst into its energy-sapping spray.

Hayahito is visibly drained, but standing. Panting through their beak while their eyes burned determination to keep fighting. I know what it took my brother to evolve his Silvally, and what that implies about the two of you as partners.

Ophelia, by contrast, isn’t getting up. I recall her, and send out Vela. He disappears into the shadows just as quickly as he appears. This late in the day, the shadows on top of Mount Lanakila are long, and he has no trouble dealing a quick, decisive blow to the back of Hayahito’s head without revealing himself.

I’ve been trying not to lean too hard on Vela in my championship matches. Mimikyu do best with occasional battling, if their disguises get broken too often it starts to stress them out. But fighting you, I pushed away any thoughts like that. I needed everyone to win, to prove we did deserve to be there at the mountain’s peak even with you there. Ha, I think I was a little afraid of you at the time. Didn’t want you to be better than me.

You pulled Setsuko back out for the first time since your lead. Your Primarina. I called for Swords Dance. You called dazzling gleam, calling the light of the rising moon and sending Vela skittering back out of his shadows with the head of his disguise trailing behind him.

There’s not much point in pretending you can issue calls to a Mimikyu who just had his disguise broken. I’ve raised him to have good instincts in a fight, even when he’s furious. He throws a vicious shadow claw into Setsuko’s flank, and you call for surf. It can consistently hit someone as slippery as Vela, but it’s not strong enough to secure the one hit knockout that you really needed if you were to get Vela off before he brings his wraith down on Setsuko a second time. Primarina just aren’t built for physical assaults like this, her good constitution let her shrug it off once, but few are those who can score third chances against Vela.

They’d one-shot Morgana if you pulled her back out, so you’re forced down to your fifth partner. You and I have both still kept one position open, it was your last trick.

You called out for Nebula.

I know that name. I remember giving it to a sweet-looking little Cosmog. Something I thought deserved a chance, before it… You know. Before it ended your life and changed mine forever.

I hadn’t seen it since it disappeared that night, much less known that it could evolve.

But it was The Moon Herself that answered the call. Your world’s Nebula was now a Lunala. She whispered to me in my mind.

Lillie? It’s me, Nebby.

I’d never have recognized her as that Cosmog if she didn’t tell me. She looks so different now.

This is unnecessary, she told me, Call off this pointless battle.

I… called out to Vela. And he pounced. His claw raked down Nebula’s wing. Her retaliation was swift and overwhelming. Vela’s ball triggers its automatic recall before her moongeist beam even dissipates. Then she locked eyes with me, furious.

You understood why I did it, even if she didn’t. That you should have been champion, if you’d lived, meant that I should be the worse champion. That I was still weaker than you. You didn’t think it was true, but you could tell I did. So you gestured to the open field, and I drew a master ball from my bag.

Nebula didn’t think I could handle her. I had to prove her wrong. Aphelion emerged from the ball, their deep voice rumbling in a way that shook our bones.

You’d fought your own UB-Black in your own Ten Carat Hill, but you later admitted it had never even crossed your mind to try to catch it, much less train it. The UBs you had caught seemed too unstable and predictable to train even without the sheer power UB-Black had, and you’d never made the connection to the old myths of the lightless star, Necrozma.

Your hand shot to your pocket to retrieve a z-crystal, and I mirrored the gesture. Our Black Hole Eclipse exploded out towards Nebula before settling above her head as an emptiness trying to swallow her whole before you could finish getting your Neverending Nightmare to connect. Aphelion creaked and groaned, trying to float back and forth to avoid flailing tendrils woven from grudges older than any of us there. Aphelion’s Black Hole Eclipse swallowed Nebula whole and burst, the arms of her Neverending Nightmare frantically writhing, battering them to the ground.

Neither of them rose again.

When I drew my own premier ball, you just pointed to it instead of drawing Morgana’s own.

You asked what type it was. I said normal, not quite admitting that we hadn’t managed to evolve them into a Silvally at all yet, even though you probably guessed as much.

“Pursuit?”

I shook my head. Crush Claw, U-Turn, Protect, Toxic. Nothing that could take out Morgana in three turns, even if we were immune to Hex.

You extended your hand and started to cross the arena.

“Perish Song.”

A draw.

You were grinning when we shook hands at the center of the arena, even though you hadn’t managed to win. Or because of it, maybe. When we were talking afterwards, you told me there really weren’t many people in your world who could challenge you. Apparently the other me didn’t really want to be a strong trainer that badly. Almost didn’t become one at all.

You told me a lot about her, your team, your world. That was when you asked for my help finding out what happened to my Nebby after I lost them. You told me how the Nebby you knew had been drawn to places of spiritual power, and even if I hadn’t seen them since losing track of them that day on the bridge, I directed you to our Lake of the Moone.

Now, the plan is to have Nebby look after our world’s future Lunala, until they grow up. I’m not going to do it, and nobody’s seen either of our world’s past Lunala for so long that I’m not sure my world has one to teach them anymore. Yours didn’t. The other Lillie brought up Nebby as best she could without any members of their species to help.

I guess that means I’m probably going to see that version of you again, when you report in on that process. That’s something to look forward to. And I know another version of you saying you forgive me doesn’t necessarily mean you’d feel that way when you’re the one it actually happened to, but it was nice to hear before we parted for our own homes anyway. I’d like to think it counts for something, at least.

I know, I should probably come visit you more often, but… It’s hard, sometimes. I didn’t really get the impression that you’re the kind of person who’d appreciate flowers, but it’s rude to visit a burial site without leaving something, so I hope it’s at least alright.

I’m sorry about everything.

I’ll see you later.
 

Starlight Aurate

Ad Jesum per Mariam | pfp by kintsugi
Location
Route 123
Partners
  1. mightyena
  2. psyduck
Heya, here for Catnip! I admittedly don't know much about Pokemon Sun and Moon, so I went and read through Solgaleo's and Lunala's Bulbapedia pages to get some background on them.

To be honest, when I finished reading this, I still wasn't entirely sure what the story was about. I didn't understand the relationship with Lillie and the protagonist, why she refers to their Type:Null as Hayahiko, and what the deal with the protagonist dying and Lillie apologising for it was about, or with the dead protagonist trying to raise a Lunala. I do realise this all might be due to the fact that I haven't played the games and I never fully caught up on the lore of them, so I wouldn't say that they were flaws in your writing. A lot of the time, less is more, and I think that your style really plays out well without fully explaining everything--given that you placed second in the contest, I would absolutely take this as a sign that it's just due to me not knowing the lore of the games!

I'll point out a few things that came to mind as I read through this:

The one bar of signal strength that the altar got from the cell tower set up to service the area around the dragon trial isn’t great, but it’s one bar more than you’re used to getting from atop Lanakila. You felt that was pretty good for an alternate universe.
I'd consider getting signal at all to be downright generous of that alternate universe!

Stopped you being restless and awake through this world’s night because of the time jump.
I know the writing style is very casual, but the lack of a subject in this sentence did read a bit jarring to me.

That bridge is an emotionally charged place. It seems ironic that you decided to sit there of all places to finish your coffee, legs dangling out over the rapids below. But it didn’t feel that way to you, you had a lot of good moments with the one in your world. It was where you’d met Lillie, and the two of you had a few important conversations here, especially in the days before she left you to go to Kanto.
Seems fitting for a place whose name literally means "thankful"!

The bridge back in your world is as identical as possible, a loving recreation of the historic bridge as authentic as possible.
The second "as possible" reads pretty awkward.

This late in the day, the shadows on top of Mount Lanakila are long,
This made me wonder how shadows on the top of a mountain can be long. Where are they coming from? Unless there are clouds or trees, there shouldn't be any shadows at all.

That was an adventurous read! Thank you for putting the blurb about the lore at the start of the story, since I know almost nothing about Pokemon Sun and Moon. A parallel universe! Where you can explore and do almost anything, but you're only really there to catch Cosmog! That absolutely is some ripe fruit for storytelling.

I really enjoyed your writing style and prose in this story. Second-person past-tense is such a fun style to read, in my opinion, though it can be difficult to write in. And the switch to first-person! I very much enjoyed it and it really kept me captivated, realising that the narrator was someone who knew what was going on with our situation gave an edge to the story.

There were a few parts to the battle that tripped me up, and I had a hard time figuring out what was going on, particularly with the nicknames--I'm not sure if Lillie's Pokemon have nicknames in canon, so that may just be a shortcoming on my end. Apart from what I already pointed out, I don't have anything else to critique on this piece. Like I said, your writing style flows really well. I personally would have liked a little more description of Alola, given how pretty it is, but that's a personal preference thing. Overall, you should be very proud of yourself for this piece. Thanks for the read!
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. growlithe
  6. quilava-fobbie
  7. sneasel-kate
  8. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, working my way down my list of people to pay forward for swinging by and checking out my stories this past year, which brought me here. I’d heard some pretty rave reviews about this one-shot from the contest feedback and beyond knowing that it involves that other Alola in the Alolagames that I spent all of like 5 minutes doing stuff with, it’s admittedly a bit of a mystery to me.

There’s definitely one way to get to the bottom of it, though. So let’s just go and dive right in:

It’s strange to think that it was mostly happenstance that led to you being the one assigned to investigate the new wormhole that had opened itself at the Altar of the Moone. Interpol refused to let someone who wasn’t already a faller anywhere near it, much less through it. Anabel was busy on another continent, you’d worked with them successfully before, and it was the off-season for championship challengers. That left you with time for weird things like this.

Huh. Wouldn’t have occurred to me that the ‘International Police’ would’ve been shortened down to ‘Interpol’, but it makes sense there.

It’s strange to think that, on the other side of that wormhole is a world almost exactly like this one. Almost, but with some obvious differences. You know what the big one is, but you couldn’t have recognized that one right away. The first tell that you hadn’t just looped back into your own universe at the exact place you’d left would be the time. Your travel only took a few seconds, but when you arrived it was the dead of night. The second would be the altar’s regalia. This was not your Altar of the Moone, but the Altar of the Sunne.

Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a story actually acknowledge the time-mirrored universe in the Alola games. That’s definitely a standout wrinkle there.

Nebula, the Lunala you’d helped Lillie raise, asked you to wait for a while, in case this world’s own Solgaleo or Lunala sensed her arrival and came to check what was happening. You used the time to pull your phone from your purse and see if it could connect to this world’s internet. The one bar of signal strength that the altar got from the cell tower set up to service the area around the dragon trial isn’t great, but it’s one bar more than you’re used to getting from atop Lanakila. You felt that was pretty good for an alternate universe.

Wait, is this the protag from a Moonverse, or…?

Though I have to wonder what a ‘cell phone from another universe’ pings as on a cell network anyways. Like does it register as the phone of another user on the network? An entirely unknown device?

It took a few tries and connection timeouts for you to successfully look up ‘altar of the sun alola’ and get a wiki page to load. It was a short page documenting largely the same history you’d have known from back home, except that the followers of Solgaleo here were the royal branch family, instead of Lunala’s. You didn’t tell Nebula that the main branch had been the ones to worship her here. You thought she already had a bit of an ego. The main point of interest on the wiki page was what wasn’t listed, instead of what was: The incidents that had occurred during your island challenge weren’t there at all, the page gave the image of an altar that had been inert since old times.

Wait, wait, wait. So the Lake of the Sunne/Moone is the one where the main branch family would be associated with? Wouldn’t have expected that with how elaborate the Altar is, but duly noted for this story.

You suspected this world didn’t have its own Nebula based on that information, and indeed no Solgaleo nor Lunala came to greet you. That would make things more difficult to answer the basic questions about what this world was, its relationship to Ultra Space, and how it had become linked to your own. You wouldn’t be able to answer them all. Maybe that means you’ll be back to learn more someday in the future. That would be nice.

That… is a bad omen for what became of the Lillie of this world, just saying.
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Your bank card would be no good here, and spending cash felt like a bad idea to you when it wasn’t part of this world’s economic system. But trainer cards don’t have as much security in them, so you decided to crash at a centre until the morning. Even if you weren’t tired, you wouldn’t really be able to talk to the people of this world until they woke up.

What are the roaming charges for cell phone usage in another universe anyways? /s

The receptionist at the center Nebula dropped you off at didn’t seem to think anything of your presence. No name or face recognition. You didn’t know exactly what that meant yet, all you knew for certain was that this world didn’t have a Champion Selene.

Just filing that one away. Since IIRC there was a major character death in this other universe, but I don’t remember if it was the protag or not.

It’s easier to say with the power of retrospect that you should’ve begun developing suspicions at that point, but you’d assumed that no version of you had existed in this world without noticing you were making an assumption. As if your championship was an inevitability from the moment you were born, and its absence meant you must never have been born at all.

Wait, so then who is the protag of this world? Elio?

It probably didn’t help your reasoning that you were running a sleep deficit from the swarm of challengers all trying to get a shot at the crown before you called the end of the season. You’d hardly be the only champion to have to deal with that problem. Stopped you being restless and awake through this world’s night because of the time jump.

You woke up next morning with a clearer head and a resolution to commune with the Tapu. Tapu Koko in particular had liked you from the start of your journey, when they’d saved you and ‘Nebby’. You got yourself a coffee from the centre’s café and then asked Nebula to teleport you toMahalo Trail.

I see that being pals with a reality-warping Box Legendary has benefits there.

That bridge is an emotionally charged place. It seems ironic that you decided to sit there of all places to finish your coffee, legs dangling out over the rapids below. But it didn’t feel that way to you, you had a lot of good moments with the one in your world. It was where you’d met Lillie, and the two of you had a few important conversations here, especially in the days before she left you to go to Kanto.

Ah, so Selene is from a Moonverse. I suppose the only question is are we in a Sunverse, an Ultra Sunverse, or something completely different now?

The differences between this world’s bridge and the one you shared those moments on are subtle enough that most people wouldn’t sense anything amiss right away, but you’d spent more time there than anyone else you know of, so you spot them immediately. The planks are closer together, and this in turn partially conceals that they’re held aloft by steel chains and not rope. The railings are still ripe, but rise taller than the original ones did and the cross-hatching of ropes between the bridge and top guard rope is denser.

The bridge back in your world is as identical as possible, a loving recreation of the historic bridge as authentic as possible. This one is subtly stronger, designed to make sure what happened there could never happen again. Which is funny, because none of these measures would have prevented the original’s collapse. Nebby very literally tried to create space between themself and the Spearow circling them. No metal chains or safer rails would make a bridge withstand suddenly needing to be several feet longer than it is because a Cosmog distorted reality around it.

… I’m beginning to understand why there’s not a Champion Selene in this universe. Since boy are those some dark implications there. :copyka:

You weren’t sure if things genuinely happened differently here, or if they just didn’t understand why the bridge collapsed, but taken in combination with the way this world was missing its Solgaleo or Lunala, the range of possibilities was wide enough to frighten you. That was the moment you realized the kinds of things you needed to be looking up online to find out what was wrong with this twin world.

A search for ‘mahalo trail bridge collapse’ yielded more news articles than you’d expected, from bigger outlets than should’ve been covering it. You feel sick to your stomach as you read the headline. As you see the words. ‘Young woman dead.’ As you see the accompanying photo. Of your face.

Well then. Though I suppose that’s a very clever way of handling why there’s only one protag in the linked universes in each Alolagame copy.

That’s why nobody recognized you as Champion Selene. Before it even began, your journey was… over. Because some girl you didn’t even yet know lost control of a species you wouldn’t yet have recognized as important, and didn’t have the spine to handle a rope bridge and a few Spearow on her own. And no one had saved you. You must have been horrified, realizing what had become of you in this world.

You certainly weren’t keen on communing with Tapu Koko anymore.

Selene: “Not least of all because he wouldn’t recognize me and… uh… yeah, I can do without going through that battle a second time.” .-.

The articles were missing something, though. You opened them and skimmed through a few, some made mention of a witness, but none of a Cosmog. The bridge’s collapse was assumed to be structural in nature. That made it impossible to track what might’ve happened with this world’s Nebula. But there was someone who should know.

The most recent contact in your phone was Lillie. You called her, only to be told by an automated message that her number could not be reached, and asked you to try again later. You tried her brother’s contact next. This time, someone picked up.

Gladion picked up with the same tired, dispassionate tone he usually does with people he doesn’t recognize. You introduced yourself as a faller, and gave him your name. He asked you a few pointed questions about where you’d even heard that word, and you must’ve answered to his satisfaction because he chose to believe you.

Wait, wait, wait. That actually worked? Like I knew that this universe was mostly the same as Selene’s home one, but I didn’t think that it extended to phone numbers being the same.

You asked him where to find Lillie. He told you to go to the peak of Mount Lanakila and ask for an off-docket match.

So that’s what you did.

Well, damn. Someone got quite far in this universe. Turns out all she needed was some good old-fashioned trauma to motivate her.

The Elite Four had left for the day already. Knowing you, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference if they hadn’t. Might’ve slowed you down, but there’s a reason you’re a champion instead of them, and you were prepared to fight with a single-minded ferocity the likes of which you hadn’t wielded since your first trip to Ultra Space. You head straight up the stairs to the peak of Mount Lanakila, to the champion’s seat.

You lock eyes with me.

A challenge from one trainer to another.

I… did not realize that the second-person perspective narration was pointing at this story being narrated by Lillie. That’s a clever twist there.

I must have looked like I’d seen a ghost. You looked worried about me. We took a moment to size up the familiarities and differences. This version of you was older now, obviously. There’s a scar running down your nose to your cheek, one you’d later tell me you got protecting your world’s version of me. I don’t look like someone who needs protecting anymore. I’m stronger than that. I’m not a weak little girl who’d need to endanger someone else for help dealing with a Spearow. That much is obvious from looking at me.

Well, damn. I see things were quite a bit less kid-friendly in Selene’s home universe from the start.

You called me by her name. “Lillie.” I don’t use that diminutive nickname anymore. It doesn’t sound right for the person I am. I corrected you, and you were transparently saddened by it. I am Lillian Mohn.

Um… do I want to know what Lillie is like in this world given how she’s become all stiff and formal? Since considering what her family life was like canonically, I feel that’s kinda a worrisome sign right now.
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You introduced yourself as Champion Selene of another world. You don’t have to explain what it means. You know that Nebby took me from Aether, and therefore that I’m a faller in my own right. I already know what it means. And it makes intuitive sense that there is a world where everything went right and you’re champion instead of me. I attended the funeral. I heard about your potential. It just makes sense, the fact that I am here because I took this opportunity from you.

Wait, wait, wait, whaaaaaaaat?

I’ll admit that that possibility didn’t even occur to me in the opening cutscene, but I suppose there really is nothing that canonically forced Nebby’s blip in it from going outside whatever universe it was in.

We both reached for our leads in unison. You took your starter, the Primarina who you named Setsuko. I lead Polaris, who stares down the other fairy with pride as his Snow Warning kicks in. You immediately started calculating around the durability granted by Aurora Veil and the damage potential of Freeze Dry and realized you‘d lost the initiative. You pivoted to your Mismagius, who you named Morgana. Polaris does know Aurora Veil, and fanned out his tails as he got to raise one for free.

I smell an Alolatales. Though I suppose it’s definitely a very “Alola” Pokémon to rep on a team.

You called for Mean Look, thinking you could weather the storm from a more defensive Ninetales and prevent Polaris passing advantage to an ally. You wanted to limit my strategic possibility space, increase your ability to plan ahead once you knew what was coming. That’s what makes you tick. You live in a world of statistics measured per-hundred-battles, of strategic guarantees, and logical inevitabilities.

Wait, wait, wait. So what is your strategy in that case, Lilli-

Your face contorted for a moment as I called for Sheer Cold instead of Blizzard or Freeze Dry. Like you’re insulted that I’d use such a move in the most important battle of my life. But I don’t live in your world. There’s no such thing as safe in my world, and watching you realize that as your plans destabilize proves the move’s value even as it fails to connect. There’s no such thing as a safe moment in front of Polaris and I.

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Well, seeing Selene die in front of her really did mess up this Lillie nice and good given how she’s taking ‘life on the edge’ and applying it to her own battling style.

You weren’t willing to cede your plan over to the fear of a Sheer Cold connecting. You called Perish Song, becoming committed to the trap. I didn’t see a point in trading Polaris for a bit of Blizzard damage, especially when you’d probably just Pain Split it off. I call Sheer Cold again. No hit yet.

When you called Thunder Wave, I realize that Morgana probably knows a hybrid Hex set and not a pure Perish Trap set with Pain Split. Polaris can’t get an attack off, and Morgana laughs at him. He snarls back, his pride wounded.

Well, someone certainly got deep into metagaming after the whole bridge incident there.

With the precise timing of someone who’d done so a thousand times before, you pivoted the moment before the song’s enchantment took effect, cutting it close enough that I didn’t have time to react to the dropped Mean Look trap. I recall seeing the satisfaction starting to settle on your face at your success. But Polaris does his best work when his back is to the wall and his ego is on the line. Your Lurantis was barely out of the ball before he landed a Sheer Cold. I didn’t even catch their name before they were enveloped in a maelstrom of bitter ice. Crystals formed on their skin for a brief moment before their ball’s automatic recall pulled them back. Polaris fainted with a marked contentment at the trade.

Lurantis: “... Ow.
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I took the loss of your grass type as a cue to use Ophelia. You draw a premier ball, even though all your other team members were caught in pragmatic balls. I already suspected what your fourth team member was. After all, we both got the same starter, so what’s one more similarity? A Silvally, eyes and crest a steely grey, emerges. You called them Hayahito. I wish I could say why, but I guess you’d already know.

Small nitpick, but I think Lillie’s narration remarking on the similarity between them is better framed as a question.

They looked at Ophelia, dimensional twin to their own teammate, then up at me, then back and forth again. Both of us almost recognizable as people they know, but neither of us quite the same.

Wait, wait, wait. Are they literally the same Pokémon, just AU versions of each other?

Maybe I should have given them more time to adjust before calling Hydro Pump. But there’s no point in regretting it now. Even as the move was still rolling over them, they readied a multi-attack and fought to move against the current before leaping into a strike the moment the pressure let up.

They made sure to attack and stay near Ophelia’s flank without being overtly instructed to do so. Maybe your team members sparred with each other sometimes, or maybe they just had good instincts, but that made it hard for Ophelia to hit them. I called an Aqua Jet out straight ahead to reposition and create space, you called Pursuit to keep the flank position, even if it didn’t hurt too much.

I feel that it’s a little bit of a shame that we can’t see this battle play out in a bit more detail since this battle felt like it got wild in short order, though I suppose that as a story being told after the fact by Lillie, that it would make sense that she’d largely summarize the events, especially early on into her match with Selene.

I called Dazzling Gleam, since the burst could hit a whole radius around Ophelia. Despite the type disadvantage, I’d been hoping the threat would force you to tell Hayahito to back off and give us space. As she reared up on her tail, though, they started channeling a multi-attack before even getting your call to confirm it. The blow toppled Ophelia, but not before her own attack connected.

Hayahito was visibly drained, but standing. Panting through their beak while their eyes burned determination to keep fighting. I know what it took my brother to evolve his Silvally, and what that implies about the two of you as partners.

That they’re in wuv loyal to each other to the end.

Ophelia, by contrast, isn’t getting up. I recalled her, and sent out Vela. He disappeared into the shadows just as quickly as he appeared. This late in the day, the shadows on top of Mount Lanakila are long, and he has no trouble dealing a quick, decisive blow to the back of Hayahito’s head without revealing himself.

Hello, mystery ghost Pokémon that I don’t recognize.

I’ve been trying not to lean too hard on Vela in my championship matches. Mimikyu do best with occasional battling, if their disguises get broken too often it starts to stress them out. But fighting you, I pushed away any thoughts like that. I needed everyone to win, to prove we did deserve to be there at the mountain’s peak even with you here. Ha, I think I was a little afraid of you at the time. Didn’t want you to be better than me.

Oh, well, that clears things up. And also very “Alola” once again.

You pulled Setsuko back out for the first time since your lead. Your Primarina. I called for Swords Dance. You called Moonblast, channeling the light of the rising moon and sending Vela skittering back out of his shadows with the head of his disguise trailing behind him.

There’s not much point in pretending you can issue calls to a Mimikyu who just had his disguise broken. I’ve raised him to have good instincts in a fight, even when he’s furious. He throws a vicious shadow claw into Setsuko’s flank, and you call for Sparkling Aria. It can consistently hit someone as slippery as Vela, but it’s not strong enough to secure the one hit knockout that you really needed if you were to get Vela off before he brought his wrath down on Setsuko a second time. Primarina just aren’t built for physical assaults like this, her good constitution let her shrug it off once, but there aren’t many who get third chances against Vela.

So what was Lillie’s character arc behind getting stronger in this universe? Since I can already tell it was equal parts impressive and worrisome. :copyka:

They’d have one-shot Morgana if you pulled her back out, so you’re forced down to your fifth partner. You and I had both still kept one team member back, and you were the first to be forced down to your last trick. I’m proud of that fact.

You called out for Nebula.

I knew that name. I remembered giving it to a sweet-looking little Cosmog. Something I thought deserved a chance, before it… You know… Before it ended your life and changed mine forever.

Lillie, you’re scaring me here.
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I hadn’t seen it since it disappeared that night, much less known that it could evolve.

But it was The Moon Herself that answered the call. Your world’s Nebula was now a Lunala. She whispered to me in my mind.

Lillie? It’s me, Nebby.

Nebby: “*Um… what are you doing here anyways? Didn’t you go on a boat to Kanto?*” ^^;

I’d never have recognized her as that Cosmog if she didn’t tell me. She looks so different now.

This is unnecessary, she told me, Call off this pointless battle.

I… called out to Vela. And he pounced. His claw raked down Nebula’s wing. Her retaliation was swift and overwhelming. Vela’s ball triggers its automatic recall before her Moongeist Beam even dissipates. Then she locked eyes with me, furious.

Nebby: “*Lillie, what the hell?!*”
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Lillie Lillian: “Don’t you dare ‘Lillie’ me!”
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You understood why I did it, even if Nebby didn’t. That you would have been champion if you’d lived meant that I should be the worse champion. That I was still weaker than you. You didn’t think it was true, but you could tell I did. So you gestured to the open field, and I drew a master ball from my bag.

Nebula didn’t think I could handle her. I had to prove her wrong. Aphelion emerged from the ball, their deep voice rumbling in a way that shook our bones.

Wait, but I thought that Lillie didn’t keep her Cosmo-

(After the battle, you’d admitted you’d fought your own UB-Black in your own Ten Carat Hill. But it had never even crossed your mind to try to catch it, much less train it. The UBs you had caught seemed too unstable and predictable to train even without the sheer power UB-Black had, and you’d never made the connection to the old myths of the lightless star, Necrozma.)

… Oh. Oh. Well, this is going to go places, I can already tell.
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Nebby:
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Your hand shot to your pocket to retrieve a z-crystal, and I mirrored the gesture. Our Black Hole Eclipse exploded out towards Nebula before settling above her head, an emptiness trying to swallow her whole before you could finish getting your Neverending Nightmare to connect. Aphelion creaked and groaned, trying to float back and forth to avoid flailing tendrils woven from grudges older than any of us there. Aphelion’s Black Hole Eclipse swallowed Nebula whole and burst, the arms of her Neverending Nightmare frantically writhing, battering them to the ground. Then, quickly as it started, two z-moves from two of the most powerful species on earth went silent as their users collapsed.


Neither of them rose again.

Nebby: “*Note to self, don’t rush into asking Lillie for a battle the next time we see her.*”
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When I drew my own premier ball, you just pointed to it instead of drawing Morgana’s own. You asked what type it was. I said normal, not quite admitting that we hadn’t managed to evolve them into a Silvally at all yet, even though you probably guessed as much anyway.

“Pursuit?”

I shook my head. Crush Claw, U-Turn, Protect, Toxic. Immune to Hex, but with nothing that could take out Morgana in three turns.

Well, I suppose that’s a sign the battle’s over here.

You extended your hand and started to cross the arena.

“Perish Song.”

A draw.

Okay, now the battle’s over here.

You were grinning when we shook hands at the center of the arena, even though you hadn’t managed to win. Or because of it, maybe. When we were talking afterwards, you told me there really weren’t many people in your world who could challenge you. Apparently, the other me didn’t really want to be a strong trainer that badly. Almost didn’t become one at all. It’s hard to wrap my head around that.

Oh yeah, I’ll bet considering how this Lillie is really different from the one we’re familiar with from the games. :copyka:

You told me a lot about her, your team, your world. That was when you asked for my help finding out what happened to my Nebby after I lost them. You told me how the Nebby you knew had been drawn to places of spiritual power, and even if I hadn’t seen them since losing track of them that day on the bridge, which was enough for us to start reasoning our way towards putting the Lake of the Moone on the short list of places they could’ve ended up.

I made you go check those places on your own. I didn’t want to be there when you found that Cosmog. I’m not eager to see them again. But you still told me where you’d found them, pulled me into planning what to do with them. It’s a champion’s responsibility to help deal with powerful forces of nature like that, after all.

Lillian: “Seriously, how are you not more bothered seeing a Pokémon that you know killed you?”
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Now, the plan is to have Nebby look after our world’s future Lunala, until they grow up. I’m certainly not going to do it, and nobody’s seen either of our world’s past Lunala for so long that I’m not sure my world has one to teach them anymore. Yours didn’t. Your Lillie brought up Nebby as best she could without any members of their species to help.

- Checks Bulbapedia -

Well then. I completely forgot that you could do that in the Alolagames.

I guess that means I’m probably going to see that version of you again, when you report in on that process. That’s something to look forward to. And I know another version of you saying you forgive me doesn’t necessarily mean you’d feel that way when you’re the one it actually happened to, but it was nice to hear before we parted for our own homes anyway. I’d like to think it counts for something, at least.

I know, I should probably come visit you more often, but… It’s hard, sometimes. I didn’t really get the impression that you’re the kind of person who’d appreciate flowers, but it’s rude to visit a burial site without leaving something, so I hope it’s at least alright.

I’m sorry about everything.

I’ll see you later.

Well, that was a morbid twist there. And it sure explains a lot about everything about how this story is laid out.

Alright, that was quite the trip there. I’ll admit that I wasn’t expecting multiversal hijinks to be on the menu for this oneshot, much less ones that are fairly obscure in their originating game, but it’s a really clever take on what’s otherwise a video gamey way of giving the player of an Alolagame an extra box legendary to trade. I’ll admit that I was caught off-guard by the perspective twist, both from the initial reveal of just who is narrating the story, and then at the very end of where it’s being narrated. I thought that those were both really well done, and it’s a fascinating exploration into the things that can happen for want of a nail between universes, and the resulting butterfly effects that can play out.

I don’t really have a whole lot of criticism to level at this one-shot. A couple formatting things here and there, and a part of me does kinda wonder if the battle between Selene and AU!Lillie could’ve been delved into in more detail since “something something Lillie is telling her universe’s dead Selene all about the person she would’ve become had she not died in her bridge collapse”, but what’s there still works really well and didn’t detract from the experience.

I can fully see how this story placed as well as it did in last year’s writing contest, since this is some good stuff, @Shiny Phantump . I hope that the feedback was fun to read, and I’ll be looking forward to seeing you around again sometime in the future.
 
Partners
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love that one of the first things Selene checks is whether her phone has any signal in an entire alternate universe lol

It’s easier to say with the power of retrospect that you should’ve begun developing suspicions at that point, but you’d assumed that no version of you had existed in this world without noticing you were making an assumption. As if your championship was an inevitability from the moment you were born, and its absence meant you must never have been born at all.

Love the creeping sense of wrongness followed by realization at the bridge. You can imagine the thought process so clearly there: it's the same bridge; wait no huh it's not exactly the same bridge; maybe it's just a random difference between these universes; all of these differences seem like they were made in service of reinforcing the bridge for safety (even if it wouldn't have helped with the specific situation Selene'd found herself in); wait did they need to reinforce the bridge for safety? what specifically happened; ...oh :copyka: Also interesting how Selene almost seems to jump to blaming Lillie for what happened ("lost control", "didn't have the spine"). The earlier mention of Lillie having "left her" for Kanto definitely felt a little personal; maybe a little residual resentment creeping in on top of the shock of learning "lol you died"?

...holy shit the sudden switch to this actually being in first-person, not second. Well that sure recontextualizes the "resentful" thoughts about Lillie I noticed a second ago, lol. That's Lillie blaming herself. God I love that. Just masterfully done.

I wonder whether "we both got the same starter" is meant just generally, in that when Lillie struck out on her own she also just happened to pick a popplio, or whether, well, assuming it survived the fall in its poké ball then somebody had to take care of Selene's. :copyka: I'm guessing it's the former, but whew lad that's a thought. (later edit: remembered that actually I don't think you have your starter yet by this point in the game, whoops lol. But it's still a juicy thought and I'm leaving it!)

I found the very technical view of the battle interesting, very heavily focused on the trainers' strategy rather than showing the actual exchanges of attacks in detail. Given that this is from Lillian's point of view, though, it makes sense that the trainers themselves would be more focused on that than on how flashy it looks. My gut says it feels pretty dissonant for Lillie to be focused on all these competitive details, but, well, this isn't the same Lillie any of us are used to, is it? That said, the nature of the sort of summarized, blow-by-blow description does make it a little dry and a little long to read, and I think that does cut some of the tension and sense of desperation that this encounter might otherwise have had. It might've landed slightly better for me if there'd been a bit more focus on the similarities (and differences) between the pokémon themselves, or the way that the similar/identical species leaned toward similar/identical/very different strategies (whichever is applicable) to highlight the comparison between them, and the concern that Selene did the exact same thing but Better when allowed to survive. Still, the way it's presented definitely gives it a sort of single-minded focus that I do think is fitting, since Lillian's so determined to basically prove she's allowed to exist here, so I dunno that I'd say it desperately needs to be changed or anything like that.

Ophelia, by contrast, isn’t getting up.

Small tense slip there ("wasn't getting up").

Aphelion creaked and groaned, trying to float back and forth to avoid flailing tendrils woven from grudges older than any of us there.

Loooove that description of a legendary's ghost moves, magnificent

I did enjoy the way they just kind of talked through what the likely final turns of the battle would've been. It was just a nice little moment of acknowledgement between the two opponents.

Then another little twist right at the end, just for good measure: she's actually been telling all this to her Selene, leaving flowers at the grave and everything. Ooooof, juicy.

I love the premise of Lillie blaming herself for Selene dying and subconsciously feeling like she has to make up for this life that ended because of her. She wouldn't necessarily have thought about the existence of an actual world where Selene never died, so I assume the thoughts of "this always should've been you, of course you would be better at this than me and I have to prove that I'm allowed to be here, too" wouldn't have been top of mind most of the time, but I bet that guilt trip (however deserved or undeserved) probably hit like a train when she realized. In general the reversal of the "message from a better world" actually coming from what we thought was the POV character going through all that creepy dissonance was excellent. Selene's probably hard-pressed to think a world where oops she died is a better one, even if I'm sure she doesn't blame Lillian for it, but from Lillian's perspective Selene's world is the way things were supposed to be. Excellent.

It's fun to imagine the implications of everything else that must've changed in SuMo's plot as a result of this, too. At first I wondered whether the altar being inert meant the ultra beast incident just outright didn't happen; surely Necrozma wouldn't have showed up if that were really the case, though. No, this Lillie just couldn't face Cosmog after what happened and simply didn't go after it, so why would it have been around for the evolution at the altar? Wonder how the incident did go down in this world. Bonus points for fun (or "fun") imagining Lillie having to face off against her mother essentially own her own, hoo boy.

Congrats on placing in the contest! It's very well-deserved, and I'm very glad I had a chance to sit down and read this. Excellent use of dissonance and of saying a lot without saying anything you don't need to. Gonna be thinking about that perspective reveal for a good while.
 
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unrepentantAuthor

A cat that writes stories.
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  7. mewtwo
  8. zeraora
Okay, so, this was fantastic.

There's a lot to enjoy, here. For one, there's your consistently incisive humour, stuff like the notion that Selene must be dead if she isn't the champion (truuuuuue :'D ) or the checking for phone signal. Then, there's the incredible economy of storytelling and the efficient way you use single words and simple, understated sentences to communicate information densely. For instance, the way Lillie 'left you', rather than that she simply left. Similarly, I really enjoy the verimisilitude and worldbuilding specificity of stuff like worrying about using currency minted in another universe. And then of course, there's the gimmick of this oneshot – the use of second person which transitions into first person. I'm proud to say that I actually picked up on moments of opinion, conjecture and deduction from the narrator and was therefore anticipating and expecting the twist, and I was delighted when it hit. Thrilling moment right there.

Llilian herself is characterised brilliantly, here. I love the way I can pick up on tiny details like her defensiveness over her battle performance and assume that she'll not win the battle, else she'd be more secure in her recounting. I have to say, it's remarkable that in a piece with so little actual description and essentially no dialogue, the fact that it is a recounting by a specific narrator makes it feel rich and real in a way that the specific mode of 'telling' narration rarely ever does. It makes the whole thing feel really fresh and intriguing. Especially when it comes to the battle sequence – the extremely detailed, Smogon-coded analysis is actually brilliant, especially given Lillian's risk-heavy, counter-meta approach, which itself is fucking narratively assonant with her near-death experience and lack of protective mentor figure in her timeline? Lyn, you're spoiling me, here.

And then you gotta hit me with the inevitable, but obvious-in-hindsight twist, the invisible but ever-present framing device for the narration that justifies the gimmick. I was reading this fic aloud to Chibi when I read it, and I genuinely choked up a bit right at the end. Goddamn.

Fuck you, please write more oneshots, I will inhale all of them.
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
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I decided to hit up this fic after seeing some fic recs for it and then it coming up on discord as well. I've been meaning to, I think I just had some trouble mustering the brain energy, but boy am I glad I finally did. No commentary this time, I'll just share my thoughts as I read this and some impressions.

I'm not sure I'll have time to cover all my thoughts but I'll try my best. I was pretty confused a bit early on, not in a bad way, but just taking time to process the "second-person" POV. I don't think the story was needlessly confusing at all, just an adjustment period to read second person for me... which makes this story even cooler.

Following Champion Selene (or well, as I first presumed) as she investigates this strange wormhole and begins to work her way through the small differences was pretty interesting. I loved how everything was described, and the flow and narration of it, especially the dawning realization when she visisted the bridge, then realized what happened in this world. Immediately creates an extremely interesting situation, and I got pretty hooked by that idea and found myself wondering where the story would go from here.

Would it be about how one world was the "dark one" where everything went bad because Selene wasn't there or the like? It took me a hot second to then process that this world's Lillie had become champion. Lillian. In the wake of Selene's death in her world she became the strongest trainer. AND THEN the "switch" to first person POV... which at first I just rode with, assuming it was just a poetic prose shift choice, and a neat one. Telling a story from "our" the MC Selene's perspective first, calling her You. Then refering to Lillian as "I".

I thought the way you approached the battle was super neat, focusing more on characterization and differences in how the battle was approached and the pokemon's individual characters. Details like how Mimikyu aren't meant for duration battles or how Polaris does his best work with his back to the wall was cool. Adds a nice bit of flavor.

I did find I had to really slow down a bit and struggled to read when the POV "switched" but I don't consider this a negative against the fic. Just means that it was very effective I think for this specific oneshot. One bit that did take me a couple rereads to process though was the bit describing the plan to have Nebby watch over Lillian's worlds Cosmog and raise her, but I'm not sure thats a flaw or there's any fixes hah, its like, confusing by nature.

Everything comes together with a chef's kiss at the end for me, which justifies every use of POV and tense switch that the fic uses. As we find out that this isn't just a story, its always been from Lillian's point of view. Talking to her Selene's grave. It actually took me a hot second to figure out what was going on there but I did find it pretty neat once I realized.

All in all i think it was a very effective story and very clever. One that benefits from and gets really fun to read twice once you know the twist thats happening, since it does a great job recontextualizing every detail that came before. Excellent stuff! Very cerebral and mind bendy in a fun way.
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
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Man, that record scratch in my brain when the first person pronoun hit after like a thousand words into the thing. That'll stick with me.

It's so perfect because the signs were there all along, of course. The detached, almost speculative way the narration remarks on the thoughts and motivations of the "main character." The way that it has the flow and cadence of a 3rd-omniscient narrator, almost, but just happening to be in 2nd person. The way that 2nd tends to be used for depersonalization. Well, it turns out to have been much simpler than that--the real main character simply had yet to arrive.

I say that, but the best part about the dynamic between these two is how badly Lillian has had to fight for that "main character energy." It doesn't come naturally to her, and she's got a massive chip on her shoulder about it.

It's so striking to me how the prose here has a lot of quirks that'd be a weakness practically anywhere else but feel so perfect and deliberate here. It's almost all summary, almost all telling and almost no showing. And that's exactly what it should be, because the thing that it's showing is not the events, but how the narrator feels about those events. The past tense, which is normally kind of a default for storytelling, sticks out when combined with the 2nd person, which normally excels at in-the-moment thinking. Because this is a retrospective. All of the opinionated flavor saturating the prose is only possible due to it being a retelling.

Even more telling is the fact that this is a retrospective, and she's defensive. There's none of the confidence that you'd expect from someone recounting a story of their triumph. When Nebby came out, I was ready to call her loss right there. So then imagine the grin when it was revealed that this world's Lillie, having lost her chance to bond with Cosmog, ended up having to go and tame Necrozma. I was not ready for that. But hey, a draw's pretty reasonable. A nice setup for them to sit down and talk, champion-to-champion.

A retelling from one champion to the grave of another champion. Man, that hit me hard. This was a really good read and I felt a lot of things, good job.
 
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