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Pokémon Maelstrom of Shadows

Chapter 1: Forsaken


Cosmic Guardian
The Circle
  1. luxio
Finally here. My own spin on Pokémon Colosseum, inspired entirely by a misunderstanding on Discord. :mewlulz:

Well, since this is something written by me, content warnings are in order, namely: strong violence, blood, gore, death, strong language, and depictions of abuse (on both human and Pokémon)

With that out of the way, here's the first chapter! Hope you enjoy!

Violence, blood, death

Chapter 1: Forsaken

The man’s footfalls echoed throughout the hallway, giving a clear indicator of where he was to any who would hear.

An Umbreon trudged up beside him, quickly falling into step.

They rounded a corner, finally coming into view of their objective: a sealed door at the end of the corridor.

The man hissed, narrowing his eyes. "Kept it under lock and key."

He glanced down to his Pokémon companion. "Secret Power."

The Umbreon barked. Dozens of needle-shaped energy formations materialized, and shot into the door, each impact making a dent in the metal.

The trainer drew a spherical object from his pocket, no larger than his thumb. Carefully, he placed it against the door, only letting go when a red light blinked and the object stuck to the door.

He took several steps back, and motioned for his partner to do the same.

"Admin Wes!"

He flinched, and his Umbreon growled, as someone called out behind him. With an inward sigh, he turned to face the person.

A Team Snagem Grunt was approaching.

"Sorry for the interruption, sir, but you're not allowed to be down here! A-And I'm sorry to say, you're out of uniform, so you do seem rather suspicious…"

Wes glared at the grunt. "Is that so?" He glanced down at his black longcoat, tattered near the bottom. His spiked black goggles and black bandana certainly only added to the 'suspicious' vibe.

"Um, yes--"

"Let me tell you something," Wes said as he drew a detonator from his pocket, "I don't give a shit whether I'm allowed to be here or not, because I'm going to burn this fucking place to the ground."

The color drained from the grunt's face as he took several steps back, before turning and running. Wes snapped his fingers, and his Umbreon leapt at the grunt, sinking his fangs into the man's leg and bringing him down to the floor.

The man howled in pain, twisting to his side and clutching his mangled leg when the Umbreon released him.

Wes slowly walked over to the pathetic man, only giving the briefest of glances to the blood surging through his wounds and onto the floor.

His victim was curled up now, hands over his head.

He lifted his boot and brought it down upon the man's head. The brunt of the force landed upon his hand, and the man screamed as there was a satisfying crack underneath his heel.

Wes snarled and snapped his fingers again. He quickly crouched, mindful in attempting to not get blood on his longcoat, and covered the man's mouth with his gloved hand, then nodded to Umbreon. The Pokémon locked its jaws around the grunt's other arm and pulled.

Muffled, agonized screaming traveled no further than the earshot of both Wes and his Pokémon. The Umbreon unceremoniously dropped the torn off arm on the floor as the man squirmed and thrashed.

Wes straightened carefully, waiting until the last moment to take his hand off the man's mouth. It was quickly replaced with a boot.


These bastards are taking Pokémon, turning them into their slaves.


Snagem and Cipher, one and the same…


Start from the bottom, work my way up.


I'll burn this fucking world to the ground if it means I can save them.

He stomped until the grunt no longer drew breath. His boot was caked in blood. Urgh. Should find a way to get some of this off...

"...Good job, Merian." Wes stroked his companion as he stepped away from the corpse. "Alright, now… what we came here for--"

Another grunt stepped around the corner. He stopped in his step as he seemingly noticed the bloody corpse, before he met Wes’s gaze.

Wes snarled, his body trembling with the force of his rage. Without another moment’s thought, he reached for his belt and pulled his knife out from its scabbard. He rushed the grunt and tackled him, placing one knee on his chest once he was down.

The blade plunged into the man's flesh again and again and again.

When it was done, and the knife gleamed with fresh blood, he stood and stuffed the blade back into its scabbard.

Wes and Merian walked quickly down the hall, to keep as far away from the door as possible.

He dug out the detonator from his pocket. "Protect."

The Umbreon barked affirmation. A shimmering barrier appeared before the two of them as Wes pressed the blinking button.

The door they were facing shattered into pieces and the metal walls curled and burned as the explosion shook the building.

"Come on!" he said as the barrier dissipated, and he leapt over the flames to his objective: the Snag Machine.

His mouth curled into a wicked grin as he beheld it. Finally. He grabbed it, then turned and ran, his Umbreon keeping pace easily.

The duo ran up a flight of stairs, and Wes could see a window. He held the Snag Machine out to Merian. "Take this, and get it to the hovercycle. I have something else to do."

The Umbreon tilted his head, before blinking and gently grabbing the Machine within his mouth.

Wes backed up to the wall, then ran and jumped through the window, landing on the desert sand below. Merian followed suit, not stopping as he ran off ahead.

He got up and started following Merian through the sands.

Only a dozen steps later, a roar of rage made him stop in his tracks. He turned to see what the noise came from.

Numerous Snagem grunts flanked a massive, hulking man with a long, bushy mustache and eyebrows.

The muscular man's face was contorted in fury as he charged towards Wes.

The black-clad trainer simply quirked a brow as he sidestepped the bull-like man's bum-rush before delivering a swift leg sweep.

A mob of the flanking grunts similarly rushed Wes.

Animals, all of you. Mindless.

Within the confines of the horde, he had limited vision, so he punched and kicked whatever he could touch.

One grunt had the brainpower to shoulder charge Wes, sending him flying into the sand. He barely had time to roll over and see the sun before dozens of hands grabbed at him, soon replaced with bodies flopping on top of him.

A pair of hands wormed their way to his knife's scabbard, and plucked the blade from it.

Shit! Fucking bastard!

Wes thrashed as much as he could, trying to shake some of the grunts off of him. He suspected he much resembled a disgusting toddler throwing a tantrum, but he didn't particularly care.

The dogpile soon became smaller as grunts were thrown off Wes. The bull-like man was the one responsible, chucking his soldiers off of the trainer.

Wes, arms wrenched back by two grunts, soon found himself face to face with the mustached man.

The larger man snarled only one word: "You."

"Gonzap." Wes replied icily.

"Traitor! We gave you food, shelter, and a job for the past twenty years, and this is how you repay us?!" Gonzap shrieked, eyes bulging.

"You fucking bastards have never done anything good for me, or anyone in Orre. Go rot in hell--"

Gonzap drew his fist back, teeth bared, snarling in a disturbingly animalistic manner.

A howl cut through the tense sand-covered desert air.

An Umbreon and Espeon were at the crest of a dune, running towards Wes.

The Espeon's eyes and gem glowed with an ethereal blue, and most of the grunts were thrown dozens of feet back.

Merian's rings pulsed, and the grunts holding Wes' arms collapsed.

Wes stumbled back and spotted his knife a few feet away. He scrambled to get it before any of the grunts got up.

Both Pokémon charged Gonzap next, Umbreon catapulting himself off of Espeon to reach the huge man's face, and--

A roar of pain emerged from the man, as he clutched one side of his head.

Merian landed back on the sand, blood coating one of his paws.

Wes glanced between his two partners and Gonzap. "Go. Go, go, go!" he urged them as he took off running towards his hovercycle, his eeveelutions now running side by side with him.

There was a distant click, nearly drowned out by the sound of the vehicle's engine starting up.

Merian's hackles raised as he stared up at the sky. Wes glanced up and felt his blood run cold.

A Skarmory circled overhead. Gonzap's.

There was no time to lose. Wes quickly got his detonator out again, and pressed the button a second time. Another explosion, this one much larger than the first, consumed the building and knocked several grunts off their feet.

He slammed his foot on the pedal, and the vehicle sped across the sands as quickly as it could.

That Skarmory still gave chase.

"Strong Hypnosis!"

Merian and Espeon nodded. Rings pulsed and a jewel glowed; two intertwining beams of black and violet struck the Skarmory, sending it plummeting into the desert dunes.

"Good job. Now, let's get the hell out of here." The hovercycle and its riders zoomed through the sands, leaving the Snagem base far behind them.


The scorching sun had finally given Wes some reprieve from the heat the day had brought. Only the unsuspecting moon and stars were there to watch him as he made his way back home.

He finally got to his destination: a dilapidated house, only a few minutes' walk from the Outskirt Stand.

Wes got off his hovercycle, and his partners followed suit. In the sidecar, the Snag Machine lay. He gazed at it for several seconds, before grabbing it and taking it inside.

"So, what do you think? We can do a lot of good with this." Wes stretched as he spoke to his Pokémon, the Snag Machine now affixed to his longcoat.

Merian yipped in excitement, while Espeon simply stared, ears and tail flicking.

"Heh. If only I knew what you were thinking, Nico…" He said to his Espeon as he sat against a wall and took his goggles off.

He had always blended into the background, which was good for Snagem work--

Wes shook his head. Shouldn't be thinking of them now. I'm not their puppet anymore.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and dragged his bandana beneath his chin. Not only was it for practicality; much like his goggles, it helped obscure identifiable aspects of his appearance: his scars.

The white line stretching across his face had come from an old fight. So too did the three scars across his mouth.

Wes was dragged out of his thoughts from Merian pawing at him.

"Huh…? Oh." Right. He did need to feed his family.

Navigating with the help of his two partners, Wes searched the cupboards, finding Pokémon food at the very back of a shelf.

"Mm. Meant for bigger Pokémon…" Wes observed the labeling: LARGE, ADULT. He shrugged. "Whatever. Should keep you both fed for longer, then."

He searched the rest of the house, finding bowls and not much else.

No human food?

He poured the kibble into separate bowls then set them in front of his Pokémon. "Eat up, guys. Tomorrow we're going to the Stand. Then… we start our real work."

Merian dug into his bowl, loud crunching audible throughout the whole room. Nico was more deliberate, taking only small bites and chewing as quietly as possible.

Once they were done, the three of them went to the living room, Wes laying out on a dusty, creaky couch, and Merian curling up atop Wes' torso.

Nico leapt up to a windowsill and stared outside, keeping vigil, as he always did.

The Snag Machine dug into his arm, serving as a reminder for what was to come, not only for him, but for the region.

Finally on my own. With this Machine… we can fix everything Snagem and Cipher have done. Take their fucked up plans and shove them up their asses.

Another glance around the room gave Wes some comfort.

Maybe regions other than Orre weren't so bad. He'd heard nothing but good things about Unova and Kalos, and outsiders tended to say that Kanto was fine, if not a bit over-hyped.

For now, though, he had no plans to go elsewhere. As far as he was concerned, Orre was the entire world, if only because it was all he had ever known.

His final coherent thought before he fell asleep was one of defiance, of a lit fire that could not be extinguished.

Us against the world.
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  1. sableye
Hooo boy, time for grimdark Orre! I've been looking forward to this one!

I'll spoiler some line-specifics I wanted to address here:

Wes glared at the grunt. "Is that so?" He glanced down at his black longcoat, tattered near the bottom. His spiked black goggles and black bandana certainly only added to the 'suspicious' vibe.
No blue coat? And did Wes formerly have a Snagem uniform? I wonder what your version of Wes looks like!

"Sorry for the interruption, sir, but you're not allowed to be down here! A-And I'm sorry to say, you're out of uniform, so you do seem rather suspicious…"
This line is a bit odd to me. I assume this grunt is supposed to be like, a Snagem security guard for the snag machine. Why wouldn't Wes be allowed down there, though, if he's an admin? Was it for Gonzap/higher-than-admins-eyes only? I would suggest specifying that somehow! Like even if the grunt is too scared to actually accuse Wes of doing something he shouldn't be, it could still come out like "I thought only Gonzap was allowed in here?" or something like that.
The color drained from the grunt's face as he took several steps back, before turning and running. Wes snapped his fingers, and his Umbreon leapt at the grunt, sinking his fangs into the man's leg and bringing him down to the floor.
Okay this line actually made me laugh aloud! I know it's not funny, but I read it and immediately thought 'Yep, this is an Abra Fic.'
Snagem and Cipher, one and the same…
Ooooh, Wes knows from the beginning that Cipher is a thing that exists and is also involved with Snagem! I don't think that's canon at this stage, so that's a cool detail to be keeping an eye on!
I'll burn this fucking world to the ground if it means I can save them.
Ah, yeah. Your Wes is quite different than Yellow's version! Nobledark, then, maybe?!

Some further thoughts: I'm conflicted on the action scenes so far. They're very short and precise, which can be very good for an action scene! But on the other hand, I don't think some additional descriptions would be out of place in some areas. Like, to draw out the action scenes a bit longer.

I'm also curious to see how Wes' pokemon handle being told to kill people so casually. The fact that Merian goes along with it so unquestioningly here shows that it's something he's used to and has no issues doing by this point, or at the very least, doesn't question it in the heat of the moment, but I'd be interested to see the pokemon's thoughts on their trainer and his orders!

Anyways, looking forward to see where you go with this in the future! So far a bit edgier than I'm used to, but that was a given going into this since I know the author, haha. Cheers!


Fruit or vegetable?
This story is a blast. What I love about the whole thing is how unabashedly edgy it is. I'm not sure how serious you meant this to be, but for me the sheer level of over-the-top violence crosses the line into being pretty funny actually. Like that scene where Merian just rips the guy's arm off before Wes crushes his skull? Yeah! And that other scene where Wes just straight-up stabs the other grunt in the chest multiple times brutally until he falls over dead? YEAH!!! ...This may make me sound like a sociopath but I do love grimdark stuff and gory splatterfests. The violence is great.

Wes's edgy all-black outfit is hilarious. It makes sense later that he wears the black bandana to cover scars, but considering how this story starts, at first I really thought he was doing it just to look cool.

The action scenes are pretty fun. I think it's hilarious how Wes manages to kill like two people in the first scene on his own, and yet an entire group of Team Snagem grunts can't do any damage to him. Even though they took his knife! Do none of them have knives? Or we might be operating on videogame rules where the protagonist can solo a bunch of people while the mooks can barely touch him. I would criticize this for being unrealistic but I'm not sure if realism is the goal with this story. Again, it feels really wonderfully gory and over-the-top to me and I like how it leans into that.

Something a bit confusing—Wes tells Merian to take the machine and get it to the hovercycle, "I have something to do", but what is it he needs to do exactly? Why would Wes have Merian leave him behind in the first place when it leads to his knife getting stolen and him getting assaulted by Gonzap and a bunch of grunts? I'd expect Wes to just run with Merian to the hovercycle and get the hell away from there, instead of stopping to confront Gonzap. On the other hand, him confronting Gonzap does let us have a cool fight scene. The description of the Umbreon and Espeon attacking together was neat. Especially when they sent that dual Hypnosis to the Skarmory.

Some other stuff, let's see. The writing is a little weird. There's a lot of line breaks that feel unnecessary to me, things being split up into multiple paragraphs when they could just be one. The first three lines could be consolidated into one paragraph, for example.

Also, Nico apparently has a name, but why is he just referred to as Espeon? At first I thought Espeon didn't have a name and figured, well okay, Merian gets a name but the Espeon is just "Espeon" because Wes doesn't care about him or something. Guess Wes just likes the darkness so much more than the light because he's edgy like that. Then Wes called the Espeon "Nico" and I realized he does have a name and the story just calls him "Espeon" for some reason... Actually, looking back through the chapter, Merian and Nico are referred to as just "Umbreon" and "Espeon" in multiple places. Is that on purpose?

Anyway, fun story! If you continue this, I will read the next chapters eagerly looking forward to more violence and dramatics from Wes.
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