Pokémon Luceat Lux Vestra

[silurica]

✦ Synopsis ✦​

Luca is a traveling painter and student of folklore on a sightseeing trip in Sinnoh. After playing a mysterious flute at the Spear Pillar, they attracted the attention of a man in white who claimed to be Arceus, the creator of the universe. Moreover, the strange man said the young painter shall accompany him to find the seventeen elemental plates in order to restore his power!

An altar for the gods in heaven. A confluence of events. A chance encounter. Little by little, they will confront the past. "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. I promise this, my child, for you are loved."

Rating: Everyone/General (I will include content warning per chapter if appropriate, but I don't expect to do so often)
Update: Weekly; roughly every Friday (time zones are funky)

Note on cross-posting: Next two chapters will be posted when I've given them another scan.

✦ Preface ✦​

Henlo and welcome to Luceat Lux Vestra, the first and main story of Lucent Travelogue collection. This is, in a way, the fruit of my history of being a Pokémon fan, taking bits and pieces from the headcanons I've formed over the years and combining them with character design and study. The general concept was in the work for several years, and finally publishing started in AO3 in September 2021. Now I've decided to share this here too.

This verse features legendary and mythical Pokémon as gijinka (i.e. human form). Beside that major difference, the verse is primarily based on the mainline games, particularly DPPt for this story. However, planning and writing already started before BDSP and Legends: Arceus was announced, and while I won't shy away from taking cues from them should it suit the story, chances are some aspects will be incompatible with the new canon.

Readers can expect liberal use of original characters, and while this story can be classified as a journey fic, please note that it won't feature a lot of Pokémon battles. The focus first and foremost is on personal drama and knowing the main characters. Oh, and there are those plates.

Currently there is no plan to cross-post author's notes from AO3, since they're kind of a rambling mess for forum format. I recommend hopping over there, however, if you wish to read about my thoughts on each chapter. There are also art and doodles if you're interested in those.

At the moment, I'm not looking for crits. General comments are okay.

Spoiler: Old feedback notes; disregard

On the matter of feedback spiciness, I'm only looking for light critiques at most. I want to share and finish this story above anything else, and I don't wish to end up feeling demotivated due to one reason or another before crossing the finish line. More specifically, I welcome the following:

• Feel free to point out spelling and grammar mistakes or if something reads awkwardly. For the latter, I'd super appreciate it if you also suggested how to improve it.
  • That said, there is something about the Azure Flute that I wrote in a... unique way compared to the rest of the prose. It's experimental and unlikely to change.
• I especially love hearing about impression on the characters and the details I've laid down, as character study is one of my main interests. Speculations are fun and encouraged too, even if I don't always respond to it.
• If there's anything else that you liked about the story, I'd love to hear about them too, and even better if you're specific about it.
• Please do suggest what genre(s) this story may belong to. I have some vague ideas – Urban Fantasy? Adventure? Drama? Supernatural? Something else? – and extra inputs will help me make up my mind.

There may be more I can't think of right now, but I hope this has provided a general gist of it.

✦ Table of Contents ✦​

Spoiler: Table of Contents

I. And the Bell of Beginning Tolls
01. The Man in White
02. A Museum and a Professor
03. The Flame in the Dark

II. Boxed Hearts
04. Jubilee Broadcast
05. Azure Sound
06. A Floral Encounter
07. Flowers and Millennia
08. A Rondo of Runts

III. The Chateau Torn by Time
09. Through the Forest
10. A Piece of Gateau
11. Lost and Found

IV. The Diamond and the Coal
12. The Eternal Horologist
13. Eternity, too, is an Obstacle
14. Two Gears of a Klink
15. A Stitch in Time
16. It's You, Always Has Been

Interlude
17. Under the Statue
18. A Crowned Meeting
(tbc)

✦ Links ✦

Archive of Our Own (AO3)
Bulbagarden​

 

[silurica]

Chapter 1: The Man in White
​

…The flowing time… The expanding space… The intertwining spiral…

…This disturbance…

…

——————————————​

"Okay! This looks good enough now. Thank you for helping me dry it, Celia."

Celia the Cyndaquil puffs her chest with pride. The painter scratches the backside of the fire mouse Pokémon's neck – their fingers twitch when they come into contact with her back, still warm from the heat she produced, followed by a chuckle. Even when the painter moves on to the less exciting part of their work – cleaning their brushes, packing them and the palette – the sense of comfort from having the Cyndaquil by their side keeps them humming to themself.

Now the painter slips the sketchbook into the safety of their backpack. Those sketches will make good references in the future, and they are proof that they have been at the top of Mt. Coronet. Just thinking about it fills their chest with excitement. Or so they hope, and not some kind of sickness from being in a place this high above sea level.

Yes, here is the summit of Mt. Coronet, Spear Pillar. Here are the ivory pillars, piercing through the heavens. There is the altar, where pilgrims of the past made offerings. And here, in the painter's hand, is the Azure Flute, a heart-shaped flute said to be able to summon a deity.

The painter begins looking around for a certain set of tiles with flute engraving. They are certain they have spotted it earlier when they scouted the area. They squint. Celia the Cyndaquil squints too – her face wrinkles with the effort.

Ah, there it is! Celia tags along by the painter's feet, perhaps excited to see what the flute would bring too. The painter crouches down to inspect the tiles. How curious; the image of the flute is still well-defined despite its supposed age. Tracing it with a finger, they say, "I wonder what will happen? The Celestic Codex said it's part of an ancient ritual for… oh, there I go talking to myself again. It's probably nothing. Isn't that right, Celia?"

That's right. Myths are nothing more than stories, so there is no way that playing a flute will make a glass staircase appear and summon a god from some kind of heaven. Implausible. Yet they still wish to play the enigmatic instrument before descending from the mountain. After all, there is a chance that it will activate some special mechanism or some other secret that suits the divine atmosphere of the location. Although it's likelier that there will be nothing at all, and their mentor has said that nothing, too, is data.

So the painter stands up and blows air into the flute—

"Dear me, please pipe down, you are terrible."

A voice. Who? Where? Oh! There is a movement from behind the altar! The painter pushes up their glasses, hoping to focus better on the figure on the other side of the historical site.

It's a man. A man with long hair and a strikingly white appearance. White skin, white hair, white suit, white shoes…. The only different colors are his dark gray waistcoat, the golden details of his suit and heeled boots, and his bright red eyes.

"Who… are you?" the painter blurts out without thinking. "...And why did you say I was terrible? I've only played a few notes!"

"Quiet, will you? I know how that flute is supposed to sound in the right hand." The man sits himself on the altar.

"What are you talking about? This is a super rare antique flute, only a few people have seen it! Just who are you?" demands the painter again. "Also don't sit there! That's a precious artifact!"

"You don't recognize me, ignorant human? I am Arceus, the creator deity of this world."

The flute falls from the painter's hand at that second. ("Ah!" The man shrieks, "My flute!") This man in white suddenly appeared, in a place that they could swear was empty when they checked, and he claimed to be what?

He gives them the stink eye as he asks, "You don't believe me, do you? I can see it written on your face."

"No! I mean! This is all too sudden!"

"Such a shame, after I have taken a form easier for your kind to relate with."

"Give me… give me a moment to think," says the painter as they pick up the flute from the floor. "Look, let me put it this way. For all I know, you could be bluffing, tricking a poor student like me. Why should I trust you? Where is your proof that you're god?"

The man lapses into silence following that question. After a while, he nods and says, "Very well. You have a point, human. I shall demonstrate that I'm not one of your kind." He steps down from the altar, toward the painter. "Tell me, do you have one of those hollowed out fruits where you can keep creatures in?"

"Hollowed… fruits? Apricorn? Oh! You mean a Poké Ball? Wait a second." The painter begins looking in their bag while Celia peeks in, curious. Medicine, food, dry clothes, sketchbook, art supplies… Ah! Found the Poké Ball pocket! They open it and see… they have nothing but a Premier Ball which they got for free at a Poké Mart.

"Oh, that is fine. I like that color," he comments. He must have seen their despairing face.

"Well, if you say so. Here."

The man doesn't take the Poké Ball from the painter's hand. What the man does instead is press the button on the ball with a finger, letting himself be engulfed by a red light. In a near instant, he has become particles to be absorbed into the ball.

"Eh? What?! H-H-He just— Celia, did you see that?!" asks the painter, their voice a barely contained shriek. Their Cyndaquil partner nods vigorously.

In this Poké Ball, the strange man in white has been captured. Captured? Is that the right word now? They turn and spin the Pokéball in panic. "W-What should I do? What should I— Oh, right! Look at the registered data!" They turn the Pokéball around again to see the status screen of the captured… creature….

It doesn't display anything. The screen only blinks and flickers. Oh. Oh no. Of course it would be like this. Of course. The data is corrupted since the Pokéball doesn't recognize what it just captured!

Nothing that can be done now except to try releasing the man. Hopefully he won't turn into even more of an oddball after this. The painter didn't know it was possible to capture a human before. They still can't believe their eyes. Is that even possible? Is this man actually…. Ah, geez. Let's not think about it too hard now.

And the Poké Ball is flicked into the air. It releases the red light again – and the painter is sure they didn't make a mistake here – the light took a shape at least as tall as the pillars, before shrinking down to the shape of that man in white. The man simply looks at them and asks, "Do you believe me now, human?"

"Y-Yes, sir. No ordinary human would be able to enter the Poké Ball."

Ah, he is still looking. They keep the ball and the flute close to their heart, protecting the objects and themself from this possible deity. Celia is also observing from behind their legs.

"Human," he says again, "I shall honor you with the opportunity to assist me."

"Er, sorry?"

"I sense a disturbance in this world. It appears my children have woken me up, unable to fix it on their own, the poor things. But I need all seventeen of my plates to restore my power first. Accompany me on a journey to gather them."

"What? Why me?" they protest. This is too sudden!

"Why? Because you are here," he answers calmly. "You reached the peak of this mountain. You will make a capable servant."

Too calm, in fact. They just met, didn't they?

"Human, what is your name?"

"I'm Luca." They point at the Cyndaquil by their feet. "And this is my partner, Celia."

He nods. "I see you are a Child of Light."

"Child of…? Oh, I guess my name does mean ‘light'...." They trail off as they come to a conclusion: an oddball will remain an oddball. "Anyway, are you not going to take this flute?"

"No need, that flute is a tool meant to be wielded by a human. You should practice playing it, however."

Luca rolls their eyes. When they put away the used Poké Ball, their eyes stop at the Azure Flute. Oh, that's right. They remember now. If what this man said had a semblance of truth in it, their mentor would know. So if they took the man to meet him….

"Well, I guess I don't mind accompanying you. I happen to be traveling in this region and I'm interested in these plates too." They wrap the flute in a piece of thick cloth and put it inside a box, which then goes into the backpack with everything else. "But I need to go to Oreburgh City first to restock and meet up with someone."

"Fine by me. We can start the search around the area."

"Okay, let's go. Celia, light the way."

Just when Luca and Celia are about to re-enter Mt. Coronet's dark cavern, the man calls out, "Child of Light, where do you intend to go?"

Luca stops, turning around toward the man again. "Me? Please don't call me that. I'm going to descend by foot, of course. This place is too far high. Between the cold temperature, thin air, harsh weather, and the weight of our bodies, it would be unsafe for a bird Pokémon to fly us down from here."

"I see. You are a considerate person."

"Oh? Is that so?" They raise an eyebrow; was that a compliment?

When the painter least expects it, the man lifts them up. "Hm?" He mumbles, "You are light."

"Huh? Huh?! What are you doing?! Put me down!" they demand, flailing like a freshly caught Magikarp.

"It's fine, leave the transportation to me," he says, showing no sign of struggle. He turns his gaze toward the Cyndaquil. "Little one, climb up to me." Celia, unsure of what is happening, decides to follow his order.

A flash of light, and a golden wheel adorned with green jewels forms, circling him. The sclera of his eyes turn the same shade of green, and green circles appear below his eyes. A gentle wind blows to envelope him. Gravity loses its grip. His suit, his long hair, and at last his feet too lightly float in the air.

Luca has stopped struggling. They realized: if they let go of him now, something bad may happen. And they have many questions for their mentor now; about the world, about history, about the beings once called gods.

In a flash, they have sped through the clouds and winds and arrived at the foot of Mt Coronet, and the smoking chimneys of Oreburgh City's mine and factories are now within sight.

 

[silurica]

Chapter 2: A Museum and a Professor​

Oreburgh City, the City of Energy. The rocky city is notable for its coal production, which powers the southwest area of the Sinnoh region. Accordingly, the city's landscape, people, and daily life are shaped by it.

Today, a man in white is staring at one of the pipes sticking out from the ground of the city. He stands unmoving even when a couple of mine workers walk by and whisper about him. Not even a Starly taking roost on his head can make him budge.

"You… what are you doing?"

The Starly flies away as the man turns around to see his traveling companion: a bespectacled painter with bobbed hair, and a Cyndaquil by their side. "You are back, Child of Light." He points at the pipe. "Tell me, what is this? I can sense the air moving…"

"My name is Luca," corrects the painter while following the man's finger. "Ah, that's an air vent for circulating fresh air in the mines and the Underground. Those vents are all over this region."

"I see."

"You didn't know?"

The man stares off for a moment before answering, "This town is still a mining town as I remember it, but nothing like this existed the last time I was awake." He gives another look at the air vent. "And it is not only this pipe. The buildings and the conversations too…"

Ah, that's it. Luca already suspected it from their conversation at the Spear Pillar: if this person is truly a god, he is not an all-knowing one. Well, he is still suspicious, but all the things he demonstrated were…

"I'm just… impressed. Yes, I'm impressed that humans did not destroy the world while I was asleep." He says while caressing the vent. "The opposite, in fact."

"What do you think we are? Barbarians?" replies Luca flatly. Celia pouts as well. The man in white says nothing about it.

Seeing him and the vent, an idea pops into Luca's mind. "Oh, I know! Why don't you visit the museum? You can catch up with local history there!"

"Museum?"

——————————————​

A few minutes later, they arrive at a large building. A sign before the entrance bears the museum's name and motto: Oreburgh Mining Museum – Coal Mining and You. From outside of the entrance, one can get a glimpse of an enormous slab of coal. "The entry is free," says Luca. "Well then, I will be seeing you again in an hour."

"Won't you come too?" asks the man.

"Ah, no. I have to restock my supplies and there is someone I need to meet. Well, I'll explain about that later. You'll see. I'm definitely not abandoning you here."

The man crosses his arms. Luca merely shrugs.

With all that said, the man steps into the cool, air-conditioned building. The small painter had a point: a historical museum is a good starting point to familiarize himself with the world again. He begins taking in the sights.

The large slab of coal, it appears, is the main exhibit of the museum – the man in white stands out next to the pitch blackness, even more so than usual. The series of exhibits explaining how coal is made not only tells him nothing new, but is also heavily simplified – he catches himself tutting at it. The mineral exhibits fill him with a sense of pride with their beauty and complexity. He spends the longest gazing at the exhibits displaying workers' tools, arranged by age, old and new, puzzle pieces for him to imagine the time he missed.

Eventually he makes his way back to the entrance. Fossils are displayed here, near the information desk. From the corner of his eye, he spots a visitor handing another fossil over to the employee behind the counter. A trade? A donation? Whatever it is, the employee brings it into the back room. Humans, they are never satisfied by their hoard. The man nods to himself while pretending to admire a dome fossil. A few minutes later, the employee returns carrying a lizard-like Pokémon which went extinct in an age long past.

The man freezes in realization.

——————————————​

Meanwhile, Luca has returned to the museum with a new companion. "Yes, Professor! I had him wait here. He shouldn't be hard to…." Their voice trails off as they see a man, his attire strikingly white, arguing with an employee at the information desk. "He's not hard to find at all!!"

"How dare you" – he speaks in the tone of a stern preacher – "to deny the presence of a higher being watching your actions."

"Pardon me, sir! We're only doing our job here! Yes, that's so! Any other question?"

"As I said—"

"Ahh, what is going on here?!" interrupts Luca.

"Child of Light, this person before us here is a heretic."

"A heretic?" They look at the employee, then around the information desk. A poster plastered on the wall caught their attention: Fossil Restoration Service. A realization dawned, followed by a frown.

"Do you see it, Child of Light? I think I should—"

"Please forgive my cousin," says Luca to the employee with a bow, "The region he came from has no fossil restoration technology yet. This is new to him." The man gives a protesting look, but they only mutter, "Come on, you apologize too."

The employee scratches his head and sighs. "Well, if that's the case… I'll forget about it this time. So," his tone shifts back, "how about you? Do you have any fossils for me to restore? Or are you here to waste my time too? Honestly!"

"Ah, I don't have any, sorry. We will take our leave now." They give another bow to the employee and pull the man's arm, dragging him away, while the employee continues to rant about how anyone who wishes to talk to him should bring him fossils.

Right after they have left the building, the man barks, "Child of Light!"

"It's Luca."

"Why did you do that?"

Luca crosses their arms. "You see, in the perspective of modern humans, what this museum is doing isn't wrong." They explain, "Yes, back when the technology was first developed years ago, there were ethical debates about it, and there still are now. However! Reception from the public has been generally positive. The prehistoric Pokémon resurrected by the technology are no different from modern Pokémon – they are living beings with potential to improve the environment and to live together with us. And also…" they trail off, noticing the man keeps looking down on them with an unchanging expression. "You are not changing your stance, are you?"

"Haha! What an interesting partner that you've found, Luca!"

"Professor Linden!" Luca pouts as they turn toward the source of the voice. "Please don't say it like it has been set in stone!"

"Oh, it's not?"

Professor Linden is the precise stereotypical image of a mountaineer: big, loud, and in possession of impressive facial hair. As Luca's mentor in antiquity, he was the one who lent them the Azure Flute. Now he strokes his beard and asks, "Is this it? The man who claimed to be an incarnation of Arceus?"

"I'm not merely an incarnation. I am the one and only Arceus," replies the man in white before Luca can say anything.

"Right, I heard the story from Luca. I have a gift for you, then." He begins looking in his bag, and after a few mistaken pulls, he finally manages to take out a sturdy box from it. Luca gasps. He opens the box, revealing a stone tablet with a scorching red color. "If you are truly Arceus, then I believe you are the only one who can ascertain the authenticity of this artifact and draw out its full power."

"The smell of flame," whispers the man, leaning down to see the relic closer. "Where did you find this?"

"Haha! Surprised, aren't you? I found it when I climbed Stark Mountain!" says the professor with vigor.

"Professor, are you sure about this?" asks Luca. "I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this, but that is a rare artifact and the only one we have!"

"So? Wouldn't our Arceus friend here be the rightful owner of it?" asks Linden back. When Luca gives no reply, he returns his attention to the curio. "Ah, but I won't just give it away. I want to see it in use first, just as written on this Plate: The rightful bearer of a Plate draws from the Plate it holds. You can do that, can't you?"

The man was silent for a moment before giving a nod. "Very well, but I would prefer to do it somewhere secluded."

Linden claps his hands. "I know just the right place then!"

 

[silurica]

Chapter 3: The Flame in the Dark​

"I know just the right place then!" Professor Linden claps his hands. "Oreburgh Mine!"

A few moments later, the three of them are now deep inside Oreburgh Mine following the professor's suggestion. In this city, trainers are permitted to train in certain sections of the damp and dark tunnels of her proud mine that have been reclaimed by wild Pokémon. In short, it's the perfect place for a private demonstration.

In the dark, Luca can't help but notice how the man's whiteness – everything about him, from his hair to the tips of his boots – reflects the faint light of the lamps in the tunnels. It makes him appear glowing. Divine, even.

The man stops walking with no warning. "Let's do it here." He pulls the dark gray ribbon tying his hair and hands it to the small painter. "Hold this for me. I will have it back after this." He then demands, "Now, prepare the Plate."

As he speaks those words, the same process as what happened at the Spear Pillar begins: bejeweled golden wheel encircling him; red and green eyes; patterned cheeks. His hair, too, begins to float in the air in a straight line. With his touch, the Plate shines, blazes, engulfs him. It covers him in a warm hue, gold into orange and green into gold.

"Hoho." Linden strokes his beard. "So this is Multitype. Ha! So my pupil here didn't have a hallucination, and nor are you a swindler."

His eyebrows twitch. "Did you have doubt, human?"

"Sorry, sorry. In this day and age, there are no Pokémon capable of both human disguise and speech like you, so I couldn't help it, see?"

"There are. My children – my direct descendants and followers still walk this world. The proof is the existence of this world itself."

The professor hums and nods. He then turns toward his pupil. "Did you hear that, Luca? We might need to start over our research again. Haha! So many things that we still don't understand!"

Luca glances, takes a small step aside. What the man said has a real possibility to change their understanding of how myths and legends interact with humanity. They can't let a chance this big slip away. "Yes, it will be a lot of work, but let's do our best together, Professor!"

"So you will accompany and learn from that gentleman, right?" asks Linden.

"Eh?"

"God has chosen you." He says with a sparkle in his eyes. "Surely you weren't thinking of handing him to me when you contacted me?"

"P-Professor… please… I'm aware we can't afford to miss this opportunity, but this is too big of…."

"I will help arrange your finances! Leave it to me!"

"Professor…!"

"Did you hear that?" The professor turns around to speak to the man again. "Our Luca here…. Huh? He's gone."

Luca tilts their head. "He didn't pass by us, so he must have gone deeper in. Oh!" They gasp and conclude, "If he went by himself that means I don't have to go on a journey with him!"

"That's no good. We need to find him and ask for his thoughts before making any conclusion." Linden slaps his pupil's back; they let out a yelp. "Let's go."

While they walk deeper into the mine, they spot a couple of wild Geodude lurking in the shadow, watching their steps. Linden hums and decides, "We should split up. Perhaps we will find him faster that way."

"Will we? I'm not sure about that…." replies Luca.

"He doesn't have any Pokémon with him, does he? A god he may be, but we know little about what he can or can't do now." Linden elaborates, "And this is a training ground, he may get attacked by an aggressive Pokémon. The sooner one of us finds him, the better it is for his safety."

That's true; they don't want their source of information to end up in peril. Although they wonder, what is the worst that can happen to a god? Waking up a cranky Rock-type and getting chased around?

They shudder at the thought. Perhaps that wouldn't be the worst for a god, but they would hate that, especially now when Celia is their only Pokémon in a condition fit for battle.

——————————————​

"Eeeek!!"

A shriek resounds in the tunnels, followed by a rain of rocks. Luca and Celia run, while an Onix roars behind. The giant rock serpent darts after them, crushing anything in its path.

"This is the worst! I hate, hate, hate fighting Rock-types!" They stumble on a stray rock and land on their face. "Ugh…" Grunting, they stagger as they get back to their feet. When they rub dust off their face and glasses, they feel warm liquid on their skin – a nosebleed. "Argh! Celia! Flamethrower again!"

Flame bursts from the fire mouse Pokémon's back as she shoots a pillar of flame at their pursuer. The Onix, unfazed, slams at her head-on. The attack misses Celia by a finger, but the impact on the ground alone is enough to blow her right toward her trainer, knocking both of them to a wall.

"Ow, ow, ow. Are you okay?" asks Luca, pain spreading from their back and stomach where the Cyndaquil landed. Celia makes a soft noise in reply. They sigh. "This is the worst… How did we get attacked and chased around the moment we separated from Professor Linden?"

A rumble approaches; even in this state, the Onix still has yet to give up on the two.

Luca stares at the looming threat. It stares back. They nonchalantly wonder, "Do you think we will die? No? I know this kind of thing happens to trainers, but I wasn't expecting it in a place like this…. Ah, it was an alright life…."

The Onix roars again. Before it can unleash another attack, however, the sound of approaching footsteps puts it to a halt. A familiar voice calls, "Child of Light."

Luca knows immediately, there is only one person who would call them with that awful moniker. "You! Where have you been?!"

"I sensed a torn fabric of time. A contingency measure has been taken, we may rest easy for now," answers the man calmly. He takes a look at the rumbling Onix and asks, "Pray tell, what did you do to make her this aggressive?"

"I would like to know too. Can you translate?"

"Putting that aside," he continues, "judging from the situation, it seems you are unable to defeat her. If that is the case, you just need to prove your strength."

"Just need to…." Luca mumbles. Memories flash in their mind: the smallest of the herd; more successful peers; a poor performance; an empty badge case. Their hold on Celia tightens as they mutter, "Are you… are you mocking us?"

Ignoring that, the man extends his hand toward the Cyndaquil, caressing her head. That hand brushed against Luca's skin, warm as sunlight. "I will lend you my power, little one." With those words, a gentle light begins to envelop Celia. "You can do it."

The Cyndaquil struggles free from her trainer's hold to face the Onix once again. She takes a stance, fire burning on her back. The man gives the trainer a meaningful, expecting look. A second chance, huh? They bite their lip, collect their breath, then shout out, "Flamethrower!"

A blast of fire escapes from the tiny creature's mouth once again. This time, it swallows the rock snake Pokémon, giving the entire shaft a bright orange hue. The lamps flicker, the heat too much for them. When it dies down, the Onix collapses as well.

"We… we did it," whispers Luca, staring in disbelief. What did this man do to Celia? That doubt is momentarily dispelled when they see Celia rushing toward them in joy. They catch the Cyndaquil in an embrace. "You did it! You won against a Rock-type! Good girl!" Celia coos in delight. Perhaps just this once is fine.

For the first time, Luca flashes a smile at the man in white.

——————————————​

When Luca wakes up later, they are no longer in the rocky tunnel of Oreburgh Mine, but in a clean white room. Ah yes, they must have passed out after the encounter with the Onix. The nurse present informs them that their Pokémon are in good condition, and someone is holding onto them. That person is waiting in the lobby. Is it Professor Linden? No, as nice as that would be, their hunch tells them it would be that person. No choice but to meet him then.

As expected, it is the man in white, dozing off with Celia snacking on a berry on his lap. He is back to normal, though his hair is still untied, reminding Luca of the ribbon in their pocket. Inhale, exhale. Before they can say a word, however, the Cyndaquil makes a delighted coo at her trainer, waking up the man. A quiet, awkward moment passes before he asks, "Child of Light, do you feel better now?"

"Yeah, uhm," They take a step aside, glancing off, then reach into the coat of their pocket for his ribbon – good, it's still there – to return it to him. "Were you the one who brought me here? Thanks."

He takes the ribbon and runs his fingers from one end of it to another. Satisfied, he begins to tie his hair back with it. "The wise man was of help too," he replies while his hands continue to work on tidying up his hair. "He navigated the labyrinth of your modern society when I couldn't."

"Wise man?" Luca has a bemused look, before realizing, "Ah, the Professor. Speaking of, where is he?"

"He left. He said he doesn't want to miss a Bronzong outbreak near the mountain."

"So I'm valued less than some Bronzong…" mutters Luca.

"Child of Light."

"No, it's nothing! I mean, what?"

"I wish to go to Jubilife City," says the man, ignoring Luca's flustered expression. He points at the television across the room – it's currently showing an idol and her Togekiss, dressed in frills and ribbons. "Something about that caught my attention, and the wise man taught me that everything shown in that box originated from Jubilife City."

"Jubilife, huh…" Luca takes a seat next to the man; Celia promptly climbs to their lap. They did plan to visit Lake Verity for a chance to glimpse the enigmatic Pokemon living in the lake, and Jubilife City is… "Sure, we can stop by Jubilife on the way."

He blinks. "I did not expect you to agree so readily. I am grateful, Child of Light."

"It just happens to be on the route for my next destination!" says Luca with a pout. "And please stop calling me that. I have a…" They trail off as a realization hit. A name? "Hey, this is embarrassing, but come to think about it, I haven't learned your name…."

"It's Arceus."

"No, not that," rejects Luca with a wave of hand. "It would be too suspicious if I called you that in front of people. I mean a nickname or an alias."

"Ah…." He sighs. "Now I remember, previously it was like this too. Well, go on and give me one then. A name that would fit the sensibilities of your era without betraying my essence."

"Eh? Me? Pick one?" asks Luca, and he nods. Luca begins to ponder. This is too sudden. They never dreamed they would ever give an alias to a deity. Have their seniors in the field ever found themselves in this kind of situation? How should this be approached? They can't just call a living being with the name of a region or landmark. Codes are obviously not good either. So…

Luca shakes their head. We are not naming an artifact here! Though he is certainly old no matter how youthful his face is!

Calm down, think about it again slowly. How about giving him an embarrassing nickname as payback for calling them by one? No, they are not that petty, and it will eventually get embarrassing for them too. So a normal name, something that would fit the era and his essence…. He is Arceus. He is a mighty being who supposedly created the world. He was the beginning of all.

"Then… Alfa?" they mumble.

"As in 'alpha,' the beginning." He nods. "Perhaps not the most clever name, but adequate." He pats them on the head as he stands from his seat. "Shall we get going then?"

An unfamiliar region and a new traveling companion. Luca never expected their journey to be a dull one when they left their home, but they would never have dreamed of this turn of events. As much as they loathe to think of the possible troubles ahead, at least it will not be boring.

An unfamiliar region and a new traveling companion. Luca never expected their journey to be a dull one when they left their home, but they would never have dreamed of this turn of events. As much as they loathe to think of the possible troubles ahead, at least it will not be boring.

 

[Pen]

Hi sil, and welcome to the forum! I saw the premise of your fic and thought I'd check it out. I've always found gijinka stories intriguing--wrote about 20K of one about Giratina that I never ended up publishing. From a purely design level there's something really satisfying about reimagining a mythical pokemon as a human. I adore the style of your cover art! The inking is really clean and neat, and I think you nailed Arceus' minimalist and snooty look. I'd totally read a comic of their adventures in this style.

I read the initial three chapters you posted here. They're on the shorter side, but a lot's already happened. We open with Luca, who is a painter and also some form of academic/research assistant of Professor Linden, playing the Azure Flute. I had a few backstory questions about Luca that I'm sure will get answered at some point. It seems that they've already made some attempt at a pokemon journey, by the reference to an empty badge case. It's interesting that their main pokemon (and starter?) is a cyndaquil, native to the Johto region. That makes me think Luca wasn't born in Sinnoh, though perhaps in your verse starters are less regionally segregated. I couldn't quite pin down how old Luca is. Some things, like Linden entrusting them with the Azure Flute, a very valuable and old artifact, suggested someone older, who a professor would entrust with that kind of responsibility. But there were other things, such as Luca's habit of pouting and the whiny tone of some of their interactions with Linden, that suggested a younger character to me. It's cool to have a painter as a protagonist. So far we haven't seen too much of Luca's art except for the brief bit at the beginning of chapter one. I'll be curious to see how painting influences Luca's perception throughout the story. Cella assisting with the artistic process by helping dry the artwork is cute--it's always great to see human-pokemon partnerships built on more than battling. I wanted to know more about Luca's medium of choice. They refer to what they did as sketches, but the sketches were clearly done in something that requires aid to dry--paints of some sort--that seems a bit elaborate for a sketch. How much equipment did they have to haul up to the top of Mt Coronet anyway!

You waste no time introducing us to the star of the show, Arceus. I thought his first line did a nice job establishing his character. He comes off as old-fashioned, formal, and arrogant. I was a little unsure if Luca blowing the flute had actually been what woke him up--he mentions his children needing him to fix an imbalance and he doesn't ask Luca any questions about why they were messing around with the flute. It was interesting how Arceus chose to try and prove his divinity. Being able to be captured by a pokemon seems to show, at best, that he is a pokemon and not a human. But I can think of other pokemon that could take the form of a human, so I was surprised he saw that as decisive proof. It also surprised me that a deity would subject himself, even momentarily, to confinement in a pokeball. It did seem fitting for a god's arrogance that Arceus enlists Luca in the mission to regain his plates as if their agreement is a given.

I'm always a fan of the 'awakened elder being confronts the modern world' so I enjoyed the set-up with Arceus being astounded by the vents and mining operations in Oreburg. His stance on the fossil resurrection was an interesting one. Does he see it as a form of bringing back the dead that should be limited to the gods alone? It does open some fascinating questions about how far tech can go in the pokemon world. After his anger at the fossil resurrection, I was surprised that he was so blasé about the professor having one of his plates and not handing it over right away. Is it proper, in his opinion, for humans to be keeping an artifact like that in the same way it is for them to keep the flute?

One thing in the fic that has made me very curious is Luca and Linden's fairly muted reactions to Arceus. Luca is initially in denial, but by chapter three seems to have come around to him being who he says he is. I wonder exactly what that means to them. Linden's light-hearted reaction suggests that Arceus doesn't hold much awe in this society. Luca appears more interested in what Arceus can tell them about the past then about Arceus himself. Does this society consider Arceus a deity still, or is that considered as out of date as someone worshipping Zeus might be in our society? I also wondered about the pokemons' perspective on this. Presumably Arceus was equally a god to pokemon--I wondered if cyndaquil could sense anything different about Arceus from the get-go or whether she was just as confused as her human. The scene where Arceus gives cyndaquil some of his power was quite striking. I'll be interested in what impact that has on cyndaquil. What does it mean when a god grants you a fragment of his power? How does that change you? Arceus definitely makes himself a bit ridiculous in these chapters, so I'm not surprised that he's not inspiring awe left and right. I wonder how his presence will change as they collect plates, and if he will continue to be perceived as 'goofy.'

Trainer traveling with a bemused, god-in-human-form always promises a fun romp--hopefully I'll have the time to circle back if you post more. If you're looking for some fics to check out during Blitz, I think Hey, Space Cadet by slamdunkrai would be up your alley! It's about an ordinary, if awkward, Sinnoh trainer who quickly finds himself in over his head in a supernatural, mythical mystery. For artist protagonists, you might enjoy WildBoot's oneshots--The Chatot and the Honey Tree for a lighter story and Ballast for one more focused on grief.

Spoiler: Grammar and Punctuation

1) Dialogue

In the first two chapters you're consistently writing dialogue with a period, followed by a capital letter.

For example,

"Oh, that is fine. I like that color." He comments.

When using a speech verb like comment or said, dialogue ends in a comma, and the word that follows it outside of the quotations is not capitalized. So,

"Oh, that is fine. I like that color," he comments.

Following a question mark or exclamation, the next word is similarly uncapitalized. So

"What are you talking about? This is a super rare antique flute, only a few people have seen it! Just who are you?" The painter demands again.

should be

"What are you talking about? This is a super rare antique flute, only a few people have seen it! Just who are you?" the painter demands again.

The only time this isn't the case is when a non speech verb is being used. Certain verbs that we associate with dialogue, such as 'he gasped' aren't speech verbs. Confusingly, 'speak' is one of them. So

"How dare you," he speaks in the tone of a stern preacher, "to deny the presence of a higher being watching your actions."

should be

"How dare you"—he speaks in the tone of a stern preacher—"deny the presence of a higher being watching your actions."

(this one is extra weird because it's an interrupted sentence. Also, you seem to have an extra "to".)

Let me know if any of that is unclear! I know it's kind of technical, but it can be really jarring to see dialogue punctuated incorrectly in a story.

2) Tense

This story is written in present tense, but I noticed that at times it jumped into future or past, which was confusing.

Now the painter will keep these sketches of the Spear Pillar safe – into the backpack they go. They will make good references in the future, and they are proof that they have been at the top of Mt. Coronet.

This is in future tense.

At the time, the painter thought there would be nothing, and myths will remain as myths, but they didn't want to descend without trying to play the enigmatic instrument.

This is in past tense and appears to be written in retrospect in a way the rest of the narrative is not.

The man didn't take the Poké Ball from the painter's hand. What the man did was press the button on the ball with a finger, letting himself be engulfed by a red light.

This is also in past tense. Present would be

The man doesn't take the Poké Ball from the painter's hand. What the man does instead is press the button on the ball with a finger, letting himself be engulfed by a red light.

3. Misc

"Okay! This looks good enough now. Thank you for helping me dry it, Celia."

Celia the Cyndaquil puffs her chest with pride. The painter admires their sketches of the location, which the fire mouse Pokémon has helped drying out. The painter can't ask for a better partner.

I know you're not looking to do edits on this, but I did want to point out the redundancy here, since it's a good thing to be on the lookout for in future writing. Luca thanks Celia for helping dry the sketch, and then the narration explains that Celia had helped dry out the sketch. We already know that, so the second iteration feels awkward.

The series of exhibits explaining how coals are made not only tells him nothing new

Coal is always singular. So this should be "how coal is made."

Today, a man in white is staring at one of the pipes sticking out from the ground of the city, uncaring of the mine workers walking by and whispering of the sight.

Uncaring and whispering don't take the preposition "of." One way you could rewrite this is

Today, a man in white is staring at one of the pipes that sticks out from the city street, not heeding the miners who walk past and whisper about him.

You could also split it, since there's a lot going on here. For example,

Today, a man in white is staring at one of the pipes that sticks out from the city street. He pays no attention to the mine workers passing by, even when they stop and whisper about him.

How about giving him an embarrassing nickname as a payback for calling them with one?

You can call someone a name, or call someone by a name, but you can't call someone with a name.

The phrase is "as payback"--it doesn't take the article "a." You might want to look into a beta-reader to catch some of these tense and prepositional errors.

Professor Linden is the precise stereotypical image of a man of mountains: loud, rotund, and in possession of impressive facial hair.

I wasn't sure what a man of mountains is--perhaps a "mountain man" is the phrase you're looking for?

"Did you have doubt, human?"

"Sorry, sorry. In this day and age, there are no Pokémon capable of both human disguise and speech like you, so I couldn't help it, see?"

I was confused here. Arceus asks if Linden doubted that he was a god. Linden says he couldn't help doubting because in this day and age, there are no pokemon capable of both human disguise and speech. But that would be a reason to not doubt.

"I know just the right place then!" Professor Linden claps his hands. "Oreburgh Mine!"

Just like that, the three of them are now deep inside Oreburgh Mine following the professor's suggestion.

Was this meant to imply that Arceus teleported them?

 

[bluesidra]

Edit2: Okay, now this sounds more like a proper analysis! Greetings, blue!

---------

Spoiler: The ramblings of a madwoman

Hello and welcome!

It's currently 4am in the morning, but I'm caught up with the entirety of your fic as it is on AO3! So, I hope you'll excuse the rather shitposty nature of this, instead of it being a full blown, well-structured review. Also, I've read your review guidelines, and since I can't gauge how my reviews will come across, I'll spare you most of my thoughts.

Alfa has some real Daddy-energy going for him. Luca should be really careful, I hope she knows what she's getting into, developing feelings for a widower with a whole bunch of kids. And also, being best friends with the guy who wants to bone your potential step-child might get awkward.

In terms of what genre your fic is, I'd actually go with a dating simulator. This might be totally down to the out-there design of Alfa, and the relatively down-to-earth design of Luca, or the fact that your have so many illustrations and they'd fit a dating simulator game. Not that I mind.
It also moves quite fast paced, and at some point I got the impression that this story would actually work better as a comic, where the narration has to be curt because you gotta draw that stuff.

Alfa to me reads a lot like Howl from Howl's Moving Castle, at least in the first half. Cocky, but also too innocent to really hate. Dunno. Can just picture Howl's eyes whenever he's bugging Luca. Second half his Daddy-energy comes through and he feels way more responsible, which makes him totally sexy. I'm just kinda sad he doesn't smite random people who disobey him more. He's a god. Humans should mean nothing to him. So why even argue with the clerk in the museum? Violence is the answer. And the witnesses' mind can either be wiped or... well... I refer to point A about this.

Luca is a curious one, because outside of snarky and kinda timid I haven't gotten a good read on them. They seems to have some baggage, but other than that, they act weirdly okay around the creator of the universe. Oh, yeah, that entire thing: They never questioned any of Alfa's intentions. I mean, he could have come to the conclusion that this earth is a danger to the universe and plans to wipe them out, all the while Luca is happily helping him.

I strangely enjoy gijinka, even though I've never given it much thought outside of some... questionable... artworks I've seen. But your gijinkas don't seem to be underaged, but also actually a 3000 year old beings, so thumbs up from me. I'm currently coming out of a loooong stretch of xenofics, and they kinda rubbed off on me, so I found myself wondering if it isn't a bit presumptions to make the gods take on a human form. Like, it makes it look like humans are the supreme lifeform here, and pokemon are... well... not desirable. Buuut then I look at your art of Alfie and the thoughts are gone :D

Another thing that rubbed me as kinda wrong -- but that's an observation I made and that has nothing to do with your writing -- is how Prof Linden treated Alfa. He was talking about him (while he was in front of him, mind you) like an object. For a second I feared that if Alfa wouldn't want to cooperate, Linden would propose to lock him up in a test-cell. But thankfully Linden disappeared soon after and that point wasn't an issue any longer.

Oh, and one thing that didn't add up: Luca left Chopin with Alfa when she went into the castle, though he had already demonstrated that no pokemon would attack him. That felt kinda weird. But that can be easily fixed by editing and doesn't have to if you don't want to.

Your artwork is Amazing! Your doodles are easily my highlight at the end of the chapter. So expressive, and Alfa just looks so good! Also, big thanks for including a description of each picture, if one can't see it properly.

I called Roark and Daiya already when Roark dumped his backstory on Luca, and I'm loving it! Yeah, bro, messing around in the underground... Daiya only has a few lame stones to show for... looks like you didn't do much actual digging, heh? I find it kinda strange that they have all these tender moments in front of Luca, who feels like a fly on the wall. And I get that they spent ten days in the underground together, but I didn't really see their friendship develop much? But the story moves really fast, and I can totally accept that they are now friends. If that gives me more Roark/Daiya content, I'm down for pretty much everything.

Also Alfa sleeping for ten days straight? Big mood.

Okay, now it's almost 5am. I'll end it here. I hope I didn't overstep/made any inappropriate comments/made you angry/demotivate you. It really wasn't my intent. But my social filters wear thin this late.
Feel free to respond and ask me some more questions if you don't entirely hate me by now. Maybe, when I got my spoons together again, I can give you a better feedback on your characters. Especially if you have some specific questions. I know how one can never get enough feedback on how their characters come off.

Spoiler: What I sound like with a brain

Okay, so a proper Hello this time, @silurica!

I've decided to check out your story, and it immediately caught my interest. Part of it was probably Alfie's design and your art in general. It is really good. Alfie with his regal attire and his rather effeminate style (this is not bad, I love heels on a guy) remind me of how Bishonen characters used to be drawn in the 90s (I'm thinking Sesshomaru and the entire male cast of Utena).
The doodles you have on AO3 are also sweet. You have a very expressive style that I envy that really brings out the comedy in your skits. And from your author's notes there it's clear that this story was in your head and then in production for a long time. Kudos to that, I couldn't keep sth like that contained for years.

Genre-wise I still stick by my dating-sim, though I might be a little off here. Your story and the way it is told reminds me a lot of interactive visual novels, which often tend to be dating-sims. It starts with the "everyday" main character and them being surrounded by a very colorful, eccentric cast of characters. Also, the main guy being aloof at first is another trope found in these.
But that guess is based rather on the "visual" cues I get when reading through your story. If I ignore this... oh boy, I have the same problems as you do. I would lean towards adventure or drama, mainly because urban fantasy and supernatural are sort of a given in pokemon.

As for your characters:
Luca is the audience-proxy and a rather normal person. As far as I gather it, they study anthropology or a related subject under Prof Linden and are currently on a field trip as his assistant. Which indicates that she is really capable in this field, because, well, not everyone gets to accompany a professor onto an expedition abroad. And they do show great interest in folklore, to the point where these are some of the only longer interaction they have with other people. Though, outside of a professional interest, not much is known as to why they chose this profession. They say something about folktales being interesting, but they do not seem to inherently believe in them, nor use them as comfort or anything.

Regardless, meeting Alfie understandably shook their world. They now second guess their atheistic worldview as they meet immortal deities left and right. Meeting Alfie also threw their former travel-plans over board, as they now have to chaperone him. They often treat him a bit condescendingly, remarking on his supposed immaturity, tardiness and air-headedness. All in all, they treat him like an immature human rather than an eldritch being. Which might just turn out to be the saving grace for Alfie in this story.

Luca themselves is rather introverted, though not shy. They have no issue talking to strangers and deescalating conflict (as seen in the museum). They seem to be doing their own thing more often than not, and that is painting. They have a drive to capture all things beautiful, and that precedes their folkloristic studies. Many of their motives aren't folkloristinc at all, but rather beautiful scenes they come across. Granted, they have yet to come across something gruesome, but their desire to capture only beauty seems like some sort of escapism. But who am I to talk about artists? That stuff is way out of my paygrade :D

They seem to have rather low self esteem about them not being a good trainer, and about something with a guy named Nox in their past. Their main battling strategy is running away, which adds a lot of comedy, ngl.

What strikes me as odd, though, is how fast they accepted Alfa's quest without asking further questions: What is his endgoal? How do the plates work? Why her? Is this a predetermined universe and how much power does he have over the happenings around him? I get that they accepted his status as a deity rather quickly, his show was impressive. But then they just became his willing accessory to crime, so to speak. I get that he is the god and all, and his presence alone might compel people to do his bidding, but that same presence obviously didn't work on the guy in the museum. The narration sometimes goes into their head and into their reasoning for things, but mostly its an outsider's description of events. That also doesn't help clarify things that are going on within them, sadly.

Alfa is Arceus, who took on a human form after a universe-threatening disturbance awoke him. He is the ultimate power in this universe, and he has the confidence to match. He can be cocky and aloof, though it never feels unwarranted. I don't find myself wanting to see him put into his place, because I know he'll just react with a stunning prove of his powers to that.

From the concept alone, Alfie is an incredibly fun character. He is eccentric but also innocent, and it's a pleasure to watch his every move. When he whips out his Daddy-powers, he feels appropriately powerful and feared and that is one big plus. It also helps that he looks quite handsome and his design is very appealing. In many ways, he doesn't act like a god, but rather than a a bit out of touch aristocrat from the 19th century who got isekaied into the modern world.

He seems to be generally benevolent towards humans, even going so far as to tell Luca in their sleep that they are loved. He is otherworldly patient with everyone. Which is... interesting. He does not act like I would expect the head deity of the universe to act, in that he acts... surprisingly human. Luca often says his thoughts are beyond human understanding, but I don't even think so. He makes big jumps in his reasoning, but they also don't ask him to slow down or elaborate, so why would he? For all I know, he might just be hiding some sort of agenda from them. It's not like they asked a lot about him.

The fact that I can trace his thoughts alone makes him very human. Idk, I'd just expect a bit more wrath and judgement from Arceus. He is the creating force in the universe. I just don't get why he deals with pesky mortal affairs at all. Or why he doesn't just wipe humanity off the face of the planet after what Galactic has done and gets to restoring the universe in peace.

Another big question-mark about his status as deity is why he chose human form. (This point extends to the other legendaries as well, but they aren't on a mission.) Pokemon instinctively recognize him, humans don't. Wouldn't it be easier for him to change into whatever pokemon he needs and request their aid, depending on location? Kinda like N did. One would think he'd like to get this ordeal over with asap, as existing alone is tiring to him (which, relateable). He seems to have a monumental bias for humans, and so far I haven't gotten a reason for this. His wife created all living beings after all, not just humans.

I mean, I can perfectly accept all of these things, because Alfie is a fun character, and I get what you're going for with your story. I just... expected a bit more eldritch chaos from an age-old, all powerful being that is not tied to earth or humanity. Oh heck, that makes me wonder... is there even a universe? Why do Palkia and Dialga reside on this planet out of all things? Because maybe, his powers aren't so vast as I originally imagined them. Not that running an entire physics engine and your creation in it isn't taxing enough.

Daiya and Roark are two new characters we've met in Eterna.
Daiya -- Dialga -- is the eternal watchmaker, who also watches over the statue. Big kudos on his entire theme and backstory. I love it! It very much fits into this somewhat fantasy-victorian style that Alfa sports. Daiya is as headstrong as you would expect someone who has eternity to get a task done. He walks headfirst through a wall, and if it takes him forever.

Though, when we meet him, we find him pretty much in his status quo in Eterna. Although he knows that things are really bad right now, his state doesn't reflect this. How can he not sense those disturbances in time that Alfa and Luca fixed before? Also, I wonder how the DPP plot played out for him in this universe. I expect some sweet Daiya/Roark whump :)

Roark is kinda quiet and in the first few instances he occurs in, he serves more to move the narrative (introduction to Underground) and as an infodump (his backstory with Daiya) to get a better read on him outside of surface characteristics and his relationship to Daiya. By that time, we know that he's the young rock-type GL that loves to dig around in the underground, exactly like we know him from the games. And that he seems to be infatuated with Daiya, in a more than friendly way.

But then comes the scene where he confronts Daiya, and I was smitten! He has a very quiet assertiveness around him, perfectly offsetting Daiya's recklessness. I love those characters. Also, good couple dynamics. I ship it!

So yeah, that about concludes my thoughts according to your review preferences. Hope you can get something out of that. Keep it up and sorry again for my nightly rambles -- blue

Spoiler: Linequotes

"Dear me, please pipe down, you are terrible."

Hehehe

He nods. "I see you are a Child of Light."

Fear not the night, Child of Light.

"Child of Light, this person before us here is a heretic."

Then smite him!

"The smell of flame," whispers the man, leaning down to see the relic closer.

Yes, another foolish mortal to smite in your divine power!!! ...no? Too bad...

We should split up.

Only good decisions here, I see

"So I'm valued less than some Bronzong…" mutters Luca.

Mate, two hours ago you were only seconds away from putting the guy next to you in a test-tube.

"Then… Alfa?" they mumble.

Alpha... is the most embarrassing name ever. I mean, Alfa on paper looks good, but my tts says alpha like this is some incel bullshit :D

They retrace their steps, but the stairs they climbed have disappeared.

Inhale. Exhale. "Damn."

They look left and right; the endless hallway and the mocking doors. The air is tense with a certain sense of wrongness.

That is how my poor boy Leon feels every single second of his miserable existence.

 

[silurica]

Thank you for the reviews! This took a while to respond to because I read them several times over and had (have) thoughts and feelings to sort out. I've never had reviews this chonky before. Also I'll respond selectively but I'm noting all these down 👁️✍️

~~~

Some things, like Linden entrusting them with the Azure Flute, a very valuable and old artifact, suggested someone older, who a professor would entrust with that kind of responsibility. But there were other things, such as Luca's habit of pouting and the whiny tone of some of their interactions with Linden, that suggested a younger character to me.

Yeah, since I probably won't make this explicit in the story itself (I like having wiggle room): Luca is written as around 16-18, so young but not too young. I figured it's not that odd considering this is the same universe where even younger kids can become the local professor's field assistants and carry expensive encyclopedia devices to conduct their research with, on top of everything else.

They refer to what they did as sketches, but the sketches were clearly done in something that requires aid to dry--paints of some sort--that seems a bit elaborate for a sketch. How much equipment did they have to haul up to the top of Mt Coronet anyway!

Sketch is a curious word as an artist, and I admit I may have used it without much thinking about how it's perceived. Depending on the artist, it can mean anything from simple gesture drawings to an elaborate piece with rough edges. Luca's is somewhere in-between. It's probably a good idea to try find a way to convey this more clearly, so I will add this to the list of things to meditate on.

Also they work with watercolor and art supplies can be surprisingly light. I may need to meditate on this too.

If you're looking for some fics to check out during Blitz [...]

Thank you for these recs! I wasn't expecting this at all and it's timely since I was thinking of picking up something new to read. Super appreciated.

Grammar and Punctuation

This is surprisingly a lot, wack. Some new things that I just learned here too. Although I'm surprised I missed editing out the bad dialogue tags in ch.1 -- I guess it's true that kind of detail can become invisible when it's something you've been staring at for a really long time (two years for this).

~~~

In terms of what genre your fic is, I'd actually go with a dating simulator. This might be totally down to the out-there design of Alfa, and the relatively down-to-earth design of Luca, or the fact that your have so many illustrations and they'd fit a dating simulator game. Not that I mind.

Dating sim. I'm letting this one live rent free in my mind even if I won't end up using it. I've never been much into dating VNs, but my early influences aren't too far removed from that and I feel called out nevertheless. And amused. (Also called out by the Utena comparison.)

I strangely enjoy gijinka, even though I've never given it much thought outside of some... questionable... artworks I've seen. But your gijinkas don't seem to be underaged, but also actually a 3000 year old being, so thumbs up from me. I'm currently coming out of a loooong stretch of xenofics, and they kinda rubbed off on me, so I found myself wondering if it isn't a bit presumptions to make the gods take on a human form. Like, it makes it look like humans are the supreme lifeform here, and pokemon are... well... not desirable. Buuut then I look at your art of Alfie and think... Daddy... and the thoughts are gone :D

Not gonna lie, I did consider this implication. This may sound disappointing, but after prodding it for a while I settled with damn it I want this aesthetic and nobody can stop me. No thoughts, head empty. If it makes it any better, further down the line I have a couple of characters who are more comfortable in their Pokemon skin than in their human skin. Spice it up a bit.

Another thing that rubbed me as kinda wrong -- but that's an observation I made and that has nothing to do with your writing -- is how Prof Linden treated Alfa. He was talking about him (while he was in front of him, mind you) like an object. For a second I feared that if Alfa wouldn't want to cooperate, Linden would propose to lock him up in a test-cell. But thankfully Linden disappeared soon after and that point wasn't an issue any longer.

Plot twist: Linden is the true antagonist of the story. He will swipe the plates and everything when they're done collecting. /jk

Also, big thanks for including a description of each picture, if one can't see it properly.

Ah, I'm glad this is noticed. Google Drive links can be fickle in my experience so I included both that and Twitter link as back-ups. If it has been useful it's worth the space it takes up in my A/N.

Luca

The slow build tag in AO3 is for how slow Luca's character development is. Not to say I can promise a satisfying development or resolution, that's kind of beyond me, but yeah. Still waiting to play all of my cards.

Alfa

So a part of my thoughts while composing Alfa is that I'm tired of seeing depiction of Arceus as capital "G" God with vocally high and mighty my-words-are-your-command for its defining personality trait. Eventually I stumbled into this mix of quietly caring, a little dorky, but also with faint streaks of apathy in certain aspects. Which is how he can put up with so much of Luca's bs. He still has moments of arrogance -- I think it's only fitting for someone of his station -- but I want it to be balanced with other traits. I'm perfectly fine either way with how human this makes him feel.

How can he not sense those disturbances in time that Alfa and Luca fixed before?

He did! He just hasn't done the fixing terribly well, and how a major piece of his power was broken also didn't help him much. The effect is the metaphysical equivalent of band-aids. (This was briefly discussed in the conversation of ch.12's second half, though Alfa in full Disappointed Dad mode cut his explanation off. I may need to meditate on how I delivered this information.)

Roark

Yeah I agree it's probably not hard to tell I was tangled up in the logistic issue of the main characters (mainly Luca, since Alfa is sleeping through most of this) coming into this after a lot has gone down, and those dorks have been simmering in confusion for a while. It's not perfect, but if nothing else I'm fine with this functioning as the groundwork if I ever want to come back to them for a short story or two, and I certainly feel encouraged now. Also I'm more at home with flash fictions and shorts anyway (they're comfy and easy to wear).

 

[Negrek]

Hey, silurica! Glad to see you posting your story. It's a classic setup here, the arrogant deity who requires a mortal's help to restore their full power. I'm sure it'll be fun to watch these two clash on their journey, and I'm sure they have a lot to learn from each other as well!

I like that you really kick things off with a bang, here; no lengthy context development before we get right into Arceus' summoning. And you get across his personality within just a few lines of dialogue: arrogant, self-assured, and seemingly unflappable. I look forward to seeing how he reacts when he encounters a situation he can't simply fling a bit of power at to solve. I am curious why Arceus he's manifesting as a human here--is that something legends commonly do, or is it linked to his missing plates?

Meanwhile, Luca as his opposite number is pretty much, well, his opposite, awkward and uncertain and with some clear self-confidence issues, perhaps as a result of past failures. Although we haven't had a full accounting of their backstory yet, I appreciate that some hints have already been dropped. Failed trainer, it sounds like, probably from Johto? It sounds like they're a research assistant now (and artist), though I'm unclear on what exactly their role is. They says they're journeying around Sinnoh, but to do what? I wonder if after their trainer troubles, they're finding themself kind of lost and don't really know what their goals are themself. One way or another, it seems like their situation is flexible enough that they can agree to join Arceus' plate quest without too much fuss, heh.

I'm also curious what Celia thinks of touring the region with her creator god! She didn't seem to have much of a reaction to his appearance or the task he put to Luca--maybe she doesn't really understand what's going on? I'm unclear on how intelligent pokémon are in this setting, outside Linden's remark that modern pokémon can't speak the human language the way Arceus can.

I was a little confused at Linden's behavior here in general. He kind of just peaces out and leaves Luca and Arceus after the events in the mine. I'm surprised he doesn't seem more excited by Arceus' presence or want to study him a bit. Meeting the incarnation of a creator god seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity! If nothing else, I'm surprised he didn't leave Luca with more of a directive about what to study or observe about Arceus so they can learn as much as possible. I'm also wondering why he sent Luca off with the Azure Flute in the first place. Really not expecting it to do anything? Maybe he's just kind of a flighty guy who doesn't have much care for anything in particular. Not sure what to make of him at this point.

I enjoy the little worldbuilding tidbits we've gotten so far. The vents aerating the Underground are a neat (and important!) detail I wouldn't have thought of, and the interlude about fossil pokémon brings up an interesting discussion that I rarely see addressed in pokefics. (Maybe moreso now that the Galar fossils introduce some pretty obvious potential problems with the revivification process, heh.) I'm also intrigued by Linden's comment that Arceus has the potential to rewrite people's understanding of how myths and legends interact with humanity. How did people think it generally happened? How does Arceus' presence here contradict them? This is something I think it'd be fun to learn more about.

I did encounter some awkward phrasing here and there, or grammer/punctuation mistakes. Pen already mentioned dialogue punctuation, which was one that stood out to me, particularly in the first two chapters. I've put some additional notes on mechanics under the spoiler.

Spoiler: Mechanics

Here are the ivory pillars, piercing through the heaven.

*heavens

The painter begins looking around for a certain set of tiles with flute engraving.

I think you want "engravings" rather than "engraving."

Celia the Cyndaquil squints too – her face wrinkles with the effort.

Aww, that's cute.

At the time, the painter thought there would be nothing, and myths will remain as myths, but they didn't want to descend without trying to play the enigmatic instrument.

You slip into past tense here. To make this present tense like the rest of the story, it'd be, "The painter thinks there will be nothing, and myths will remain as myths, but they don't want to desend without trying to play the enigmatic instrument.

The question put the man in silence.

This is also in past tense, and "put" someone in silence sounds a bit odd. You might say "The question shocks the man to silence," or "The question silences the man."

The sclera of his eyes turns the same shade of green, and green circles appear below his eyes.

I thiiiink "sclera" is actually plural here, so it'd be "his eyes turn" rather than "turns."

Gravity lets loose of its grip.

"Lets loose of its grip" sounds strange; "looses" its grip or "lets loose" its grip would work better, I think.

The city is notable for its coal production, which powers the southwest area of Sinnoh region.

This wants to be either "the Sinnoh region" or just "Sinnoh."

A few minutes later, they arrived in front of a large building.

*arrive to make this present tense

From outside of the entrance, one can get a glance of an enormous slab of coal.

"Glance" sounds odd to me here; I think "glimpse" would work better.

Fossils are displayed, here, near the information desk.

You only want the comma after "here," not the one before.

Whatever it was, the employee brings it into the backroom.

*back room

They look at the employee, then around the information deck.

I think you mean information *desk rather than "deck."

Professor Linden is the precise stereotypical image of a man of mountains: loud, rotund, and in possession of impressive facial hair.

I think you either mean "man of the mountains" or "mountain man" here.

Just like that, the three of them are now deep inside Oreburgh Mine following the professor's suggestion.

I found this transition a little confusing--it wasn't clear to me whether they teleported into the mine or whether there was an implied timeskip there.

It takes a stance, fire burning on her back.

*she takes a stance

This is so sudden, they never dreamed they would ever give an alias to a deity.

You've got two sentences connected by a comma here--you need to split them up. "This is so sudden. They never dreamed they would ever give an alias to a deity.

All in all, I think this is a solid start! Luca strikes me as someone who needs to find their voice a bit, learn to stand up for themselves, while on the flip side I think Arceus needs to learn some humility. I'm curious how this journey will challenge them, and how they'll change as a result. Thanks for sharing their story with us!

 

[bluesidra]

It's a classic setup here, the arrogant deity who requires a mortal's help to restore their full power.

H... how often has that happened to you so far and are you alright? Just asking out of curiosity...

 

[Negrek]

Ah, sorry for the confusion! I meant that it's a common setup for narrative fiction, not that it's something I've experienced myself. Yet! ;)

 

[silurica]

Henlo, thank you for the review! Thank you for the grammar inputs too, I will give it a look for sure.

I enjoy the little worldbuilding tidbits we've gotten so far. The vents aerating the Underground are a neat (and important!) detail I wouldn't have thought of, and the interlude about fossil pokémon brings up an interesting discussion that I rarely see addressed in pokefics. (Maybe moreso now that the Galar fossils introduce some pretty obvious potential problems with the revivification process, heh.)

Ah, I can't take credit for the air vents since they exist in canon. I agree they're a neat detail though! Certainly a part of Sinnoh's identity in my mind.

Glad that the small tangent about fossils was enjoyable too. Hah, I actually would've assumed that Cara Liss' monstrosities would make such discussion more common. It's interesting how fossil revival just exists in the games unquestioned, and by the time of SwSh they now can be found in the wild. Someone more well-versed on ecology and bioethics probably can make something out of this and how it ties to their society.

 

[Umbramatic]

Here for Review Blitz! Hi! You're pretty new here!! I like helping new people so I decided to check out your fic. Just read chapter 1 for now though.

And hoo boy right away your protagonist gets into real hot water. She's just trying to paint a pretty picture of Spear Pillar but then she summons a gijinka of God. Speaking of said gijinka of God I love him. Arrogant naqsty mean man. I'm smitten.

I think the highlight here is the scene where your protagonist captures the gijinka of God in a Pokeball. I was very deeply amused at that whole sequence, The comedic timing per se was really good, though I'm surprised he wasn't more offended.

And it seems youve already got a quest going! Something shifty is happening with Arceus' plates, huh. Can't wait to see how that plays out.

Also? Bonus points for the cute Cyndaquil. So very cute. Especially because it can be easy to lose actual mon focus with fics in gijinkas in them.

If tthere is a flaw, I guess, uh, it's that... Everyuthing kind of happens too quickly? It's like. The fic kind of starts in the fic of thigs already and kinda speedruns all the inciting incidents in as short time? Like damn Ganmes Done Quick is this week so to me this is a styarting arc%. Mabyer have more buildup to the moment your protagonist meets Arceus and space out the call to action that happens after, mabye give more reaqspon why Arceus chooses the protagionist? It'll help make things feel more natural and streamlined.

But this is a very cute fic!!! Definitely want to read more.

 

[Namohysip]

Wow, what an opening! That's definitely a way to get the premise started right away without really having to cut through to any of the usual buildup that you'd expect.

Anyway, hello! I'm doing a review of everything published so far as of my reading of it last night. I'm here with a fresher mind, but I do still recall everything that happened, and this is a very unique take on the mainline world for a story, or at least the first that I've read of this nature. A normal artist who happens to see God, weakened and searching after a long slumber, with trouble brewing... It's quite a premise, and yet it's also lowkey about it. I wonder how the power scaling will escalate as he gathers more plates. Just what does he need it all for?

Anyway, the rest of this until the end will be stream of consciousness thoughts as I had read through:

By the end of chapter 1, I have a decent handle of how Luca is as a person, though I will admit, they take on the role of god's safari escort pretty darn quickly. Still, it's nice to see what appears to be a friendly god during this opening journey. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I can't really see any reason for him to lie. What I hope to see is a good reason for why he needs to have a human with him. There's usually one for a Pokemon and a human bonding in some way after all, but for a god! Now that's big, to make such a spontaneous decision. Then again, with how Arceus is, I suspect he already foresees a lot of things. The first chapter introduces the goals, the mysteries, and then the general plot right off, at least at the start. Very good!

The next chapter had an interesting bit about the fossil restoration and heretic section. This guy is definitely pretty old fashioned, isn't he? I wonder if that will become important later, or if this is just a brief thing to look at as a greater whole of how Arceus will see the modern world. He seemed to have little faith in humanity since he'd slept, after all. If he had been left to his own devices, and if he actually had the power to do anything substantial to society, I wonder if he would have tried to destroy the building or kill the Pokemon to 'put them back,' so to speak. It's definitely a blue and orange morality sort of deal here, depending on what his perspective is.

I do have to comment on how fast paced it is, though. While there are no real spots where the story is lingering in any particular point, it also feels like it's rushing past them to the point where a scene doesn't actually settle in on anything. That is good in that it doesn't feel boring or slow/bogged down by things, but there is a small downside due to just how quickly the story moves along. It's a little unfortunate that I can't get a firm feeling on what Luca is as a character, for example. I suppose Arceus is the main perspective for this scene, though, and his personality is more imposing. That makes sense for knowing him better by the end of chapter 2.

Chapter 3 comes along, and so he gets a name! Or I suppose nickname if that's the case. Y'know, not bad. And once again we are moving to a new location after a brief encounter with a simple foe in order to better demonstrate his power. I don't think it was entirely established what he was capable of, though, with just one plate. I guess the closest we could get was him powering up Celia, perhaps with that very same element? Anyway, it was a good demo. It's a very blistering pace, but it felt like you took a moment to slow down a bit near the end, and I think that was where it had reached a more comfortable speed where I could get to know him more. I still don't quite have a sense for Luca, though. Perhaps some kind of reader surrogate, milder emotions so the reader can better substitute their own? I don't get the sense that was the intent, though...

All in all, that seems to be everything for now, but I liked it! This is a very unique story so far with the very different perspective. I wonder what new things will happen down the line as he gains more power and more perspective over the world...

 

[silurica]

Henlo, henlo. I've finally implemented fixes and suggestions with one notable exception below. A few of the fixes prompted rewriting, which according to AO3 bumped up the word count by around 200 words. Fun. In particular, the beginning of the first chapter was transformed significantly.

I was confused here. Arceus asks if Linden doubted that he was a god. Linden says he couldn't help doubting because in this day and age, there are no pokemon capable of both human disguise and speech. But that would be a reason to not doubt.

You're probably right. I've been thinking about this to figure out how to change it while keeping the same tone and information, but it's difficult. Unfortunately I will have to keep this one as is until I find a solution, whenever it will be. (For the record, you're the first to point this out, so hopefully this means it's not something that sticks out too much.)

Ok, ok, with that said, new reviews! Thank you @Umbramatic and @Namohysip! And sorry for not responding sooner. I wanted to get a response out at the same time as the fixes, but working on the fixes took longer than I expected to.

Also I guess it's about time that I admit after it's pointed out several times that, yeah, the pacing may be a lil' wack, between the progression and my small per chapter word count (the small word count is intentional; I want to have a regular schedule, and I work better with smaller size anyway). That said, I don't know if this is something that I want to change now for several reasons that boil down to... I'm comfortable with this honestly? Okay, there is chance I may be wrong and future me will look at this and go "wow what a damn fool" but right now I'm just scratching my head over how to meet these feedback in the middle. I don't know, this feels oddly vague for some reason.

Speaking of, I also like to keep things intentionally vague at times, sometimes to give myself flexibility, and sometimes because I prefer it when there's no rush to explain everything. This may have influenced the above.

I'm fine with not getting this perfectly from the get-go, since part of why I gave longfic another shot after years of not working on any is to get practice in for aspects of writing that I can't get from shorter pieces, but yeah. Feeling lots of "I dunno" now. Food for thought, surely. For now I will give the next couple of chapters another look before posting them.

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, I'd remembered seeing your story recommended on the hype thread a while back, and was looking for some fresh fare to squeeze in in the final crunch to the deadline, so bite-sized and offbeat stories it is. Though... bumming around with the divine llama himself while incognito, huh? Even if I can think of a couple stories that play around with similar ideas, that's definitely a premise I haven't seen before. So hey, why not? I'll take a bite.

Alright, enough prattle, more reviewing:

Chapter 1

…The flowing time… The expanding space… The intertwining spiral…

…This disturbance…

…

Trippy opener there, but it definitely lends itself to a mysterious air.

"Okay! This looks good enough now. Thank you for helping me dry it, Celia."

Celia the Cyndaquil puffs her chest with pride. The painter scratches the backside of the fire mouse Pokémon's neck – their fingers twitch when they come into contact with her back, still warm from the heat she produced, followed by a chuckle. Even when the painter moves on to the less exciting part of their work – cleaning their brushes, packing them and the palette – the sense of comfort from having the Cyndaquil by their side keeps them humming to themself.

I wouldn't have pegged Cyndaquil as a good painter's Pokémon. But eh. It's a fire mouse that becomes a fire stoat that becomes an awesome fire badger. So I won't complain too much. :V

Now the painter slips the sketchbook into the safety of their backpack. Those sketches will make good references in the future, and they are proof that they have been at the top of Mt. Coronet. Just thinking about it fills their chest with excitement. Or so they hope, and not some kind of sickness from being in a place this high above sea level.

Yes, here is the summit of Mt. Coronet, Spear Pillar. Here are the ivory pillars, piercing through the heavens. There is the altar, where pilgrims of the past made offerings. And here, in the painter's hand, is the Azure Flute, a heart-shaped flute said to be able to summon a deity.

... How does this guy just have that lying around?

The painter begins looking around for a certain set of tiles with a flute engraving. They are certain they have spotted it earlier when they scouted the area. They squint. Celia the Cyndaquil squints too – her face wrinkles with the effort.

... What does a Cyndaquil squinting look like when its eyes are already close to squinting by default?

Ah, there it is! Celia tags along by the painter's feet, perhaps excited to see what the flute would bring too. The painter crouches down to inspect the tiles. How curious; the image of the flute is still well-defined despite its supposed age. Tracing it with a finger, they say, "I wonder what will happen? The Celestic Codex said it's part of an ancient ritual for… oh, there I go talking to myself again. It's probably nothing. Isn't that right, Celia?"

I mean, it's obviously not nothing if you brought an Azure Flute here. ^^;

That's right. Myths are nothing more than stories, so there is no way that playing a flute will make a glass staircase appear and summon a god from some kind of heaven. Implausible. Yet they still wish to play the enigmatic instrument before descending from the mountain. After all, there is a chance that it will activate some special mechanism or some other secret that suits the divine atmosphere of the location. Although it's likelier that there will be nothing at all, and their mentor has said that nothing, too, is data.

... Did this person dig this out of a flea market or something? Since I have to wonder how a random painter gets what's arguably one of the most important folkloric artifacts in their setting. .-.

So the painter stands up and blows air into the flute—

"Dear me, please pipe down, you are terrible."

A voice. Who? Where? Oh! There is a movement from behind the altar! The painter pushes up their glasses, hoping to focus better on the figure on the other side of the historical site.

It's a man. A man with long hair and a strikingly white appearance. White skin, white hair, white suit, white shoes…. The only different colors are his dark gray waistcoat, the golden details of his suit and heeled boots, and his bright red eyes.

Oh hey, it's Reverse Cuzco! Except significantly more cosmically important!

"Who… are you?" the painter blurts out without thinking. "...And why did you say I was terrible? I've only played a few notes!"

"Quiet, will you? I know how that flute is supposed to sound in the right hand." The man sits himself on the altar.

"What are you talking about? This is a super rare antique flute, only a few people have seen it! Just who are you?" demands the painter demands again. "Also don't sit there! That's a precious artifact!"

"You don't recognize me, ignorant human? I am Arceus, the creator deity of this world."

Arceus: "Really now, the color scheme and me appearing right after you played that flute wasn't a dead giveaway?" :|

The flute falls from the painter's hand at that second. ("Ah!" The man shrieks, "My flute!") This man in white suddenly appeared, in a place that they could swear was empty when they checked, and he claimed to be what?

He gives them the stink eye as he asks, "You don't believe me, do you? I can see it written on your face."

"No! I mean! This is all too sudden!"

Painter: "And there's a terrible track record of people claiming to be divinities telling the truth, just saying.

[ ]

"Such a shame, after I have taken a form easier for your kind to relate with."

[ ]

"Give me… give me a moment to think," says the painter as they pick up the flute from the floor. "Look, let me put it this way. For all I know, you could be bluffing, tricking a poor student like me. Why should I trust you? Where is your proof that you're god?"

I think that you probably want to describe more of both Arceus and the Painter's reactions to each other here, since it feels like they both should be reacting to what's going on but it's not coming through that well since this interaction is bare dialogue. In the first block, it probably makes sense to drop in a short paragraph about Arceus' reaction, and about the painter's in the second.

Also, where exactly is Celia in all of this? Since I don't recall her ever being returned to her Pokéball and presumably she might have some sort of reaction to all of this herself. ^^;

The man lapses into silence following that question. After a while, he nods and says, "Very well. You have a point, human. I shall demonstrate that I'm not one of your kind." He steps down from the altar, toward the painter. "Tell me, do you have one of those hollowed out fruits where you can keep creatures in?"

"Hollowed… fruits? Apricorn? Oh! You mean a Poké Ball? Wait a second." The painter begins looking in their bag while Celia peeks in, curious. Medicine, food, dry clothes, sketchbook, art supplies… Ah! Found the Poké Ball pocket! They open it and see… they have nothing but a Premier Ball which they got for free at a Poké Mart.

Boy, did the painter luck out and draw the aesthetically best ball to pair with llama god there. Most people tear their hair out or else resort to game editing to pull that off.

"Oh, that is fine. I like that color," he comments. He must have seen their despairing face.

"Well, if you say so. Here."

The man doesn't take the Poké Ball from the painter's hand. What the man does instead is press the button on the ball with a finger, letting himself be engulfed by a red light. In a near instant, he has become particles to be absorbed into the ball.

"Eh? What?! H-H-He just— Celia, did you see that?!" asks the painter, their voice a barely contained shriek. Their Cyndaquil partner nods vigorously.

inb4 Arceus destroys it in about 5 seconds by breaking out. Though that certainly is an interesting limitation on Legendaries that are under the effect of transformation glamor or whatnot in this setting. Now this poor painter's going to be randomly chucking Pokéballs at suspiciously dressed strangers for years now out of suspicion of "what if that's really Lugia or something"

In this Poké Ball, the strange man in white has been captured. Captured? Is that the right word now? They turn and spin the Pokéball in panic. "W-What should I do? What should I— Oh, right! Look at the registered data!" They turn the Pokéball around again to see the status screen of the captured… creature….

It doesn't display anything. The screen only blinks and flickers. Oh. Oh no. Of course it would be like this. Of course. The data is corrupted since the Pokéball doesn't recognize what it just captured!

Yeeeeeah, I would assume that "Arceus, but in human form" doesn't have a whole lot of data that can pop up for a Pokéball registy. ^^;

Nothing that can be done now except to try releasing the man. Hopefully he won't turn into even more of an oddball after this. The painter didn't know it was possible to capture a human before. They still can't believe their eyes. Is that even possible? Is this man actually…. Ah, geez. Let's not think about it too hard now.

And the Poké Ball is flicked into the air. It releases the red light again – and the painter is sure they didn't make a mistake here – the light took a shape at least as tall as the pillars, before shrinking down to the shape of that man in white. The man simply looks at them and asks, "Do you believe me now, human?"

Wait, so is Arceus expending conscious effort to maintain that human form? I mean, it'd make sense, though that makes me wonder if he's going to get upset or on a bender at some point and just go full llama in the middle of a crowded street at some point and cause a minor panic.

"Y-Yes, sir. No ordinary human would be able to enter the Poké Ball."

Ah, he is still looking. They keep the ball and the flute close to their heart, protecting the objects and themself from this possible deity. Celia is also observing from behind their legs.

"Human," he says again, "I shall honor you with the opportunity to assist me."

"Er, sorry?"

Painter: "E-Explain to me why I want that again instead of just giving you the flute, the ball, and getting the hell out of dodge?" O_O;

"I sense a disturbance in this world. It appears my children have woken me up, unable to fix it on their own, the poor things. But I need all seventeen of my plates to restore my power first. Accompany me on a journey to gather them."

[ ]

"What? Why me?" they protest. This is too sudden!

"Why? Because you are here," he answers calmly. "You reached the peak of this mountain. You will make a capable servant."

It probably makes sense to show the gears turning in the Painter's head a bit before getting into the why me. Since they've just seen a lot and this is a very surprising and open-ended request. Might as well show that hesitation / "is this for real"-ness off a bit more.

Too calm, in fact. They just met, didn't they?

"Human, what is your name?"

"I'm Luca." They point at the Cyndaquil by their feet. "And this is my partner, Celia."

Aha, so the painter does have a name. I... personally feel that from a narrative perspective, it probably makes sense to introduce this a lot earlier on, even if indirectly, but eh. It's a short chapter. We got there soon enough.

He nods. "I see you are a Child of Light."

"Child of…? Oh, I guess my name does mean ‘light'...." They trail off as they come to a conclusion: an oddball will remain an oddball. "Anyway, are you not going to take this flute?"

"No need, that flute is a tool meant to be wielded by a human. You should practice playing it, however."

Arceus: "I mean, you've come all this way here. You have the thematically fitting name. That sounds like reason enough for you to accompany me on my journey, no?"

Luca: "... Do I at least get some time to think this through?" ._.;

Luca rolls their eyes. When they put away the used Poké Ball, their eyes stop at the Azure Flute. Oh, that's right. They remember now. If what this man said had a semblance of truth in it, their mentor would know. So if they took the man to meet him….

"Well, I guess I don't mind accompanying you. I happen to be traveling in this region and I'm interested in these plates too." They wrap the flute in a piece of thick cloth and put it inside a box, which then goes into the backpack with everything else. "But I need to go to Oreburgh City first to restock and meet up with someone."

"Fine by me. We can start the search around the area."

I can't tell if Arceus is being a bit too trusting there, or if that's just the self-assuredness of "I'm god, I can handle this even with a bit of a debuff" talking. Since he knows exactly nothing (that we know of) about who this mentor might be or what his intentions might be.

"Okay, let's go. Celia, light the way."

Just when Luca and Celia are about to re-enter Mt. Coronet's dark cavern, the man calls out, "Child of Light, where do you intend to go?"

Luca stops, turning around toward the man again. "Me? Please don't call me that. I'm going to descend by foot, of course. This place is too far high. Between the cold temperature, thin air, harsh weather, and the weight of our bodies, it would be unsafe for a bird Pokémon to fly us down from here."

"I see. You are a considerate person."

"Oh? Is that so?" They raise an eyebrow; was that a compliment?

Arceus: "Is there something wrong with me noting that you're being considerate?"

Luca: "Well, you see, when people- er... humans compliment each other, they usually don't phrase things as statements of fact like that. (Also it feels creepy and like you're staring into my soul.)" .-.

When the painter least expects it, the man lifts them up. "Hm?" He mumbles, "You are light."

"Huh? Huh?! What are you doing?! Put me down!" they demand, flailing like a freshly caught Magikarp.

"It's fine, leave the transportation to me," he says, showing no sign of struggle. He turns his gaze toward the Cyndaquil. "Little one, climb up to me." Celia, unsure of what is happening, decides to follow his order.

Oh, so he can change form... or else retains his strength while in human mode.

A flash of light, and a golden wheel adorned with green jewels forms, circling him. The sclera of his eyes turn the same shade of green, and green circles appear below his eyes. A gentle wind blows to envelope him. Gravity loses its grip. His suit, his long hair, and at last his feet too lightly float in the air.

Whelp form-changing confirmed.

Luca has stopped struggling. They realized: if they let go of him now, something bad may happen. And they have many questions for their mentor now; about the world, about history, about the beings once called gods.

In a flash, they have sped through the clouds and winds and arrived at the foot of Mt Coronet, and the smoking chimneys of Oreburgh City's mine and factories are now within sight.

Luca: "Can't tell if this is really happening, or if I'm just high on paint fumes right now." .-.
Celia: "*Oh no, it's happening, alright.*"

Alright, made it to the end. As for my postmortem:

I liked it. The opening chapter had a lot of charm, and it reminded me of some similar "incognito legendary" pieces that @Umbramatic has written in the past, and one that I wrote myself as part of a writing challenge while cribbing his headcanon for it. I'd say that the opener does the best job of establishing who Arceus as a character, while Luca's a bit hazy, and Celia... is honestly kinda just there at the moment. ^^;

But hey, that's what other chapters are for! And I feel that your chapter 1 did its job at putting out a hook to get people interested in coming back for more. I do think that there's a few spots where the description was a bit lacking that could've given better insight into who these different characters were and how they ticked, especially Luca. Though that's a bridge to be crossed if you ever go back and make a revision.

Good work @silurica , I'll be looking forward to coming back to this story a couple more times before Review Blitz lets out.

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, coming back to pick up right where I left off with the next chapter of Luca and the Man in White. Since there was a promising hook, might as see where things go from there. ^^

Chapter 2

Oreburgh City, the City of Energy. The rocky city is notable for its coal production, which powers the southwest area of the Sinnoh region. Accordingly, the city's landscape, people, and daily life are shaped by it.

Today, a man in white is staring at one of the pipes sticking out from the ground of the city. He stands unmoving even when a couple of mine workers walk by and whisper about him. Not even a Starly taking roost on his head can make him budge.

"You… what are you doing?"

The Starly flies away as the man turns around to see his traveling companion: a bespectacled painter with bobbed hair, and a Cyndaquil by their side. "You are back, Child of Light." He points at the pipe. "Tell me, what is this? I can sense the air moving…"

"My name is Luca," corrects the painter while following the man's finger. "Ah, that's an air vent for circulating fresh air in the mines and the Underground. Those vents are all over this region."

Luca: "Also, just saying, we could've gone to Canalave to read a few books first if you were this detached from the workings of the modern world." >_>;
Arceus: "Now, now, your mentor is supposed to be here. No sense in keeping him waiting when we need his guidance for our grand quest."

"I see."

"You didn't know?"

The man stares off for a moment before answering, "This town is still a mining town as I remember it, but nothing like this existed the last time I was awake." He gives another look at the air vent. "And it is not only this pipe. The buildings and the conversations too…"

Luca: "... And when was that again?" .-.
Arceus: "Hmm... I'm trying to think. Was there a 'Rota' still around at the time the last time I was awake, or the time before that-?"
Luca: "Okay, so 'pretty damn long ago'. Good to know." >_>;

Ah, that's it. Luca already suspected it from their conversation at the Spear Pillar: if this person is truly a god, he is not an all-knowing one. Well, he is still suspicious, but all the things he demonstrated were…

"I'm just… impressed. Yes, I'm impressed that humans did not destroy the world while I was asleep." He says while caressing the vent. "The opposite, in fact."

Luca: "... (Probably not the best time to tell him about that whole 'Team Galactic' flap that happened not long ago. To say nothing about stuff like that whole incident down in Hoenn.)"

"What do you think we are? Barbarians?" replies Luca flatly. Celia pouts as well. The man in white says nothing about it.

Arceus: "You said it and not me. And you humans have a way of... upending balance. It's like it's a competitive sport for you." -_-;
Luca: "... (The world hasn't almost ended that many times, has it?)" o_o;;

Seeing him and the vent, an idea pops into Luca's mind. "Oh, I know! Why don't you visit the museum? You can catch up with local history there!"

"Museum?"

Luca: "I still say that Canalave Library would've been a better place for this to happen, assuming you can read modern script." -_-;
Arceus: "Yes, well that would be a detour from our quest. A rather uninteresting one at that. Now, about this 'museum'..."

A few minutes later, they arrive at a large building. A sign before the entrance bears the museum's name and motto: Oreburgh Mining Museum – Coal Mining and You. From outside of the entrance, one can get a glimpse of an enormous slab of coal. "The entry is free," says Luca. "Well then, I will be seeing you again in an hour."

"Won't you come too?" asks the man.

Arceus: "You are aware that this is a journey you're supposed to come along with me as my servant." :|
Luca: "Your servant kinda needs a chance to square away some preparations for that journey in order to even begin that 'serving' part." >.<;

"Ah, no. I have to restock my supplies and there is someone I need to meet. Well, I'll explain about that later. You'll see. I'm definitely not abandoning you here."

The man crosses his arms. Luca merely shrugs.

Arceus:

Luca: "Look, I'm not going to pick a fight with a god okay? You don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that's a terrible idea!" .-.

With all that said, the man steps into the cool, air-conditioned building. [ ] The small painter had a point: a historical museum is a good starting point to familiarize himself with the world again. He begins taking in the sights.

The large slab of coal, it appears, is the main exhibit of the museum – the man in white stands out next to the pitch blackness, even more so than usual. The series of exhibits explaining how coal is made not only tells him nothing new, but is also heavily simplified – he catches himself tutting at it. The mineral exhibits fill him with a sense of pride with their beauty and complexity. He spends the longest gazing at the exhibits displaying workers' tools, arranged by age, old and new, puzzle pieces for him to imagine the time he missed.

You probably want to explicitly note at some point that Luca parts ways, since... you kinda don't explicitly note that. Like it could literally be something as simple as changing the first sentence to ["With all that said, the man and the painter part ways as the man steps into the cool, air-conditioned building."] but it's still an important enough detail that you want to be crystal clear about it.

Arceus: "... I really should've tasked a servant to keep a log of the world and its changes for me while I was asleep. I feel as if I'm looking at an exhibit meant for children right now." >_>;

Eventually he makes his way back to the entrance. Fossils are displayed here, near the information desk. From the corner of his eye, he spots a visitor handing another fossil over to the employee behind the counter. A trade? A donation? Whatever it is, the employee brings it into the back room. Humans, they are never satisfied by their hoard. The man nods to himself while pretending to admire a dome fossil. A few minutes later, the employee returns carrying a lizard-like Pokémon which went extinct in an age long past.

The man freezes in realization.

I... take it that this guy isn't too hot on the idea of humans having discovered the ability to futz around with the power to bring life back from the dead... in a manner of speaking. ^^;

Meanwhile, Luca has returned to the museum with a new companion. "Yes, Professor! I had him wait here. He shouldn't be hard to…." Their voice trails off as they see a man, his attire strikingly white, arguing with an employee at the information desk. "He's not hard to find at all!!"

"How dare you" – he speaks in the tone of a stern preacher – "to deny the presence of a higher being watching your actions."

... Yeah, I kinda figured he'd be crabby about the fossil revival given the ending note of the last scene. ^^;

"Pardon me, sir! We're only doing our job here! Yes, that's so! Any other question?"

"As I said—"

[ ]

"Ahh, what is going on here?!" interrupts Luca.

"Child of Light, this person before us here is a heretic."

You probably want to drop in a paragraph there talking about Luca realizing that something's wrong and having that "Aah!" reaction in terms of body language and hurrying over, since... yeah. Gone for all of an hour, and the divine llama is already making a scene.

Luca: "But this is a secular institution. How on earth can there be heresy in a museum about coal mining?"

"A heretic?" They look at the employee, then around the information desk. A poster plastered on the wall caught their attention: Fossil Restoration Service. A realization dawned, followed by a frown.

"Do you see it, Child of Light? I think I should—"

"Please forgive my cousin," says Luca to the employee with a bow, "The region he came from has no fossil restoration technology yet. This is new to him." The man gives a protesting look, but they only mutter, "Come on, you apologize too."

Arceus: "Absolutely not! What is there for me to apologize for over pointing out blatant heresy?" >.<
Luca: "(Just saying, we're not going to find those plates successfully if you're picking fights over every little bit of the modern world that you don't like.)" >_>;

The employee scratches his head and sighs. "Well, if that's the case… I'll forget about it this time. So," his tone shifts back, "how about you? Do you have any fossils for me to restore? Or are you here to waste my time too? Honestly!"

"Ah, I don't have any, sorry. We will take our leave now." They give another bow to the employee and pull the man's arm, dragging him away, while the employee continues to rant about how anyone who wishes to talk to him should bring him fossils.

Right after they have left the building, the man barks, "Child of Light!"

"It's Luca."

"Why did you do that?"

Luca: "I literally just gave an argument for-!" >.<
Arceus: "A non-canonical argument. Let's see you make one in the actual prose." >:|
Luca: "(Boy are things really getting meta right now.)" .-.

Luca crosses their arms. "You see, in the perspective of modern humans, what this museum is doing isn't wrong." They explain, "Yes, back when the technology was first developed years ago, there were ethical debates about it, and there still are now. However! The reception from the public has been generally positive."

[ ]

"The prehistoric Pokémon resurrected by the technology are no different from modern Pokémon – they are living beings with potential to improve the environment and to live together with us. And also…" they trail off, noticing the man keeps looking down on them with an unchanging expression. "You are not changing your stance, are you?"

"Haha! What an interesting partner that you've found, Luca!"

I'm wondering if it makes sense to chop Luca's explanation there in half and slip in some reaction from Arceus. Since given Arceus' reaction to the fossil revival, I'd imagine he'd be horrified and/or upset to discover that this 'heresy' he walked in on is broadly popular in this time.

Luca: "Oh trust, me I didn't find-"
Arceus: "I approached my servant, thank you very much." >:|
Luca: "Yeah, that. (Look, I know that you're a creator god and all, but have you tried speaking in a less off-putting fashion while going incognito?)" >_>;

"Professor Linden!" Luca pouts as they turn toward the source of the voice. "Please don't say it like it has been set in stone!"

"Oh, it's not?"

Professor Linden is the precise stereotypical image of a mountaineer: big, loud, and in possession of impressive facial hair. As Luca's mentor in antiquity, he was the one who lent them the Azure Flute. Now he strokes his beard and asks, "Is this it? The man who claimed to be an incarnation of Arceus?"

Arceus: "... Child of Light, are you sure this isn't just some mountaineer?" :|
Luca: "I got the Azure Flute from him to begin with, so... no. No, he's not even if he looks like the Hiker trainer class model to a tee." >_>;

"I'm not merely an incarnation. I am the one and only Arceus," replies the man in white before Luca can say anything.

"Right, I heard the story from Luca. I have a gift for you, then." He begins looking in his bag, and after a few mistaken pulls, he finally manages to take out a sturdy box from it. Luca gasps. He opens the box, revealing a stone tablet with a scorching red color. "If you are truly Arceus, then I believe you are the only one who can ascertain the authenticity of this artifact and draw out its full power."

"The smell of flame," whispers the man, leaning down to see the relic closer. "Where did you find this?"

... I just realized, but this entire chapter, Celia has kinda been completely absent. Like it makes sense in the museum, but... it might have made sense to show Celia kicking around in the first scene, since it kinda shows how Celia is parsing llama god just chilling around, and better dovetails with the idea of Luca ducking out to get supplies for what'll be a long journey.

Arceus: "More importantly, how does a common mountaineer-"
Luca: "Professor." >_>;
Arceus: "Ahem, Professor come across this, let alone my flute for awakening."

"Haha! Surprised, aren't you? I found it when I climbed Stark Mountain!" says the professor with vigor.

"Professor, are you sure about this?" asks Luca. "I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this, but that is a rare artifact and the only one we have!"

Linden: "Luca, your friend got sucked into a Pokéball and went on an extended rant about fossil reviving being heresy. I think that it's safe to give him a chance with this Plate."

Luca: "... Fair point, really." ^^;

"So? Wouldn't our Arceus friend here be the rightful owner of it?" asks Linden back. When Luca gives no reply, he returns his attention to the curio. "Ah, but I won't just give it away. I want to see it in use first, just as written on this Plate: The rightful bearer of a Plate draws from the Plate it holds. You can do that, can't you?"

The man was silent for a moment before giving a nod. "Very well, but I would prefer to do it somewhere secluded."

Linden claps his hands. "I know just the right place then!"

Luca: "I'm sorry, and why can't you just do it right here again?"

Arceus: "Well for one, if we do it right here, I'm pretty sure assuming my normal form would collapse the front of the museum of heresy by mass displacement. I mean, I wouldn't be particularly opposed to it, but..."

Luca: "... That... sounds like a pretty good reason why you can't do it right here. Anyhow, where is this secluded place, Professor Linden?" ^^;

Alright, as for my overall thoughts of the chapter. It seemed like a nice build-off from the first chapter, and it was pretty hilarious to see Arceus at once fascinated and horrified by different facets of the brave new world he woke up in. I do feel like there were a couple of things that felt like they were missing from this chapter. Mostly description in a couple parts that would've allowed for getting a better handle on the thought process and the like of different characters. Oh, and Celia. Since Luca's Pokémon are going to be presumably hanging around in this story for a long while, while they and how they're parsing being in the presence of a divinity with a really weird wrapper... isn't really explored, when their perceptions of Arceus could potentially be really different from those of the humans that he's trying to blend in with. ^^;

Hope that that helps you with your future installments, especially since it sounds like you might be rolling out a revision in the wake of PLA's release and lore becoming public. Even if there's some bits that ought to be tightened up, there's a lot of charm to this story, @silurica , and I'll be looking forward to getting to your current last chapter in short order, and seeing how it plays out well beyond Review Blitz.

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Alright, starting out a marathon day of reviewing by rounding out Luceat Lux Vestra and getting a feel for what happens when a very cosmically important llama comes into contact with a very cosmically important hot plate.

Chapter 3

"I know just the right place then!" Professor Linden claps his hands. "Oreburgh Mine!"

A few moments later, the three of them are now deep inside Oreburgh Mine following the professor's suggestion. In this city, trainers are permitted to train in certain sections of the damp and dark tunnels of her proud mine that have been reclaimed by wild Pokémon. In short, it's the perfect place for a private demonstration.

You... probably want to give more of a sense of progression of time than that, since presumably the secluded areas of Oreburgh Mine are a bit more than "a few moments" away from the mining museum. One potential sidestep is something where you compare the amount of time to a short interval, kinda like:

Things go by in a blur after leaving the museum as the painter, the professor, and the man and white retrace their way south for Oreburgh Mine. After what feels like a few moments later with only the time on [so-and-so's watch] to evidence otherwise, the three [...]

There's other ways of handling that, and IMO one route worth considering is just flatly dropping in a paragraph showing them making their way over, and maybe Arceus still grumbling a bit about the "heresy" he witnessed before opting to let the matter slide for now because of the world's most important hot plate, but still.

In the dark, Luca can't help but notice how the man's whiteness – everything about him, from his hair to the tips of his boots – reflects the faint light of the lamps in the tunnels. It makes him appear glowing. Divine, even.

Arceus: "Well, I try."

Luca: "Maybe try a little less hard if you want to properly fit in with everyone, huh?" >_>;

The man stops walking with no warning. "Let's do it here." He pulls the dark gray ribbon tying his hair and hands it to the small painter. "Hold this for me. I will have it back after this." He then demands, "Now, prepare the Plate."

Luca: "... Wait a minute, is the mineshaft's ceiling here even tall enough for you to assume your normal form-?"

Arceus: "Bold of you to assume I don't have a workaround to that, Child of Light."

As he speaks those words, the same process as what happened at the Spear Pillar begins: bejeweled golden wheel encircling him; red and green eyes; patterned cheeks. His hair, too, begins to float in the air in a straight line. With his touch, the Plate shines, blazes, engulfs him. It covers him in a warm hue, gold into orange and green into gold. [ ]

"Hoho." Linden strokes his beard. "So this is the fabled Multitype. Ha! So my pupil here didn't have a hallucination, and nor are you a swindler."

I think that it might make sense to play up Luca and especially Linden's reaction a bit more, since this wasn't exactly a normal experience for those two. Though the thought also occurs to me that if they're doing this deep in Oreburgh Mine, you want to either acknowledge some combination that one or the other have Pokémon out, Luca and Linden popped Repels in advance (even if it might lead to some funny interactions with Arceus

), or that you need to make it explicit somehow that Oreburgh Mine in your setting just doesn't have wild Pokémon kicking around in it, since my reaction here was "... Wait, why are these guys in the middle of a place with random encounters and no Pokémon at their side?"

His eyebrows twitch. "Did you have doubt, human?"

"Sorry, sorry. In this day and age, there are no Pokémon capable of both human disguise and speech like you, so I couldn't help it, see?"

B2W2 TM95!Zoroark: "Am I a joke to you?" >:|
Arceus: "You're not in this region let alone widely known by humans. Begone."

"There are. My children – my direct descendants and followers still walk this world. The proof is the existence of this world itself."

Oh, so Legendaries writ large can do this whole transformation glamour thing in-setting, or at least I think that's the implication of Arceus' line there. So Luca really is going to be chucking Pokéballs at randos that look suspiciously like Lugia for years after this.

The professor hums and nods. He then turns toward his pupil. "Did you hear that, Luca? We might need to start over our research again. Haha! So many things that we still don't understand!"

[Luca glances, takes a small step aside. What the man said has a real possibility to change their understanding of how myths and legends interact with humanity. They can't let a chance this big slip away.] "Yes, it will be a lot of work, but let's do our best together, Professor!"

I feel as if it might have made a bit more sense to play up Luca's reaction to "wow this is real", and their reactions to this whole "servant" thing and if they're taking it seriously or not. Since if Luca's assumption is "wow, that's neat, have fun with that, Professor Linden", it doesn't quite come through here from the thought process we do see shown off.

"So you will accompany and learn from that gentleman, right?" asks Linden.

"Eh?"

"God has chosen you." He says with a sparkle in his eyes. "Surely you weren't thinking of handing him to me when you contacted me?"

Luca: "And if I was?"

Arceus:

"P-Professor… please… I'm aware we can't afford to miss this opportunity, but this is too big of…."

"I will help arrange your finances! Leave it to me!"

"Professor…!"

Arceus: "Child of Light, you are aware that I'm right here, yes?"
Linden: "Er... yeah, probably don't want to get on the wrong side of God there, Luca. It usually doesn't end well." ^^;

"Did you hear that?" The professor turns around to speak to the man again. "Our Luca here…. Huh? He's gone."

[ ]

Luca tilts their head. "He didn't pass by us, so he must have gone deeper in. Oh!" They gasp and conclude, "If he went by himself that means I don't have to go on a journey with him!"

You want to add more of a reaction to Arceus not being present. Especially if his absence was really sudden since... Luca and Linden didn't come off as having talked for a very long period of time, so one would think that this would be a bit more of a "wait wut" moment for the two.

"That's no good. We need to find him and ask for his thoughts before making any conclusion." Linden slaps his pupil's back; they let out a yelp. "Let's go."

While they walk deeper into the mine, they spot a couple of wild Geodude lurking in the shadow, watching their steps. Linden hums and decides, "We should split up. Perhaps we will find him faster that way."

Oh, so there are wildmons here after all. Er... yeah, see the note about having Pokémon on hand / Repel. Like even if you do the classic "Pokémon are benched while traveling" thing from pre-HGSS, you want to acknowledge that Luca and Linden have Pokémon at the ready since they probably want more options for dealing with those Geodude than just "run away really fast". :V

"Will we? I'm not sure about that…." replies Luca.

"He doesn't have any Pokémon with him, does he? A god he may be, but we know little about what he can or can't do now." Linden elaborates, "And this is a training ground, he may get attacked by an aggressive Pokémon. The sooner one of us finds him, the better it is for his safety."

Luca: "Given that this is Arceus we're talking about here, I think that I'm more worried for those wildmons." ^^;
Linden: "... Can Arceus even assume his natural form in these mineshafts without causing a cave-in?" .-.
Luca: "... Right, guess it probably makes sense to check up on just in case." ._.;

That's true; they don't want their source of information to end up in peril. Although they wonder, what is the worst that can happen to a god? Waking up a cranky Rock-type and getting chased around?

They shudder at the thought. Perhaps that wouldn't be the worst for a god, but they would hate that, especially now when Celia is their only Pokémon in a condition fit for battle.

... Quality planning there, you two. :V

"Eeeek!!"

A shriek resounds in the tunnels, followed by a rain of rocks. Luca and Celia run, while an Onix roars behind. The giant rock serpent darts after them, crushing anything in its path.

"This is the worst! I hate, hate, hate fighting Rock-types!" They stumble on a stray rock and land on their face. "Ugh…" Grunting, they stagger as they get back to their feet. When they rub dust off their face and glasses, they feel warm liquid on their skin – a nosebleed. "Argh! Celia! Flamethrower again!"

Luca: "Argh! Would it have killed Professor Linden to just meet on a quieter patch of Route 207?!" >_>;

Flame bursts from the fire mouse Pokémon's back as she shoots a pillar of flame at their pursuer. The Onix, unfazed, slams at her head-on. The attack misses Celia by a finger, but the impact on the ground alone is enough to blow her right toward her trainer, knocking both of them into a wall.

"Ow, ow, ow. Are you okay?" asks Luca, pain spreading from their back and stomach where the Cyndaquil landed. Celia makes a soft noise in reply. They sigh. "This is the worst… How did we get attacked and chased around the moment we separated from Professor Linden?"

Oh, so I see that Luca and Linden didn't pop repels before going down into the mine. Probably a bit ill-advised there considering that Luca only has Celia to work with as their defense and yeah, fighting an Onix with a Cyndaquil sounds like a bad time there. ^^;

A rumble approaches; even in this state, the Onix still has yet to give up on the two.

Luca stares at the looming threat. It stares back. They nonchalantly wonder, "Do you think we will die? No? I know this kind of thing happens to trainers, but I wasn't expecting it in a place like this…. Ah, it was an alright life…."

Something about what's going on here doesn't feel like it's selling the sense of peril / "I'm about to die"-ness enough to put Luca in this state of mind. It might be worth showing Luca and Celia a bit more scuffed up and winded from these events while the big, scary rock snake is rounding around on them or something like that. Since with the current description, things kinda fall flat.

The Onix roars again. Before it can unleash another attack, however, the sound of approaching footsteps puts it to a halt. A familiar voice calls, "Child of Light."

Arceus: "How are you jobbing this hard to a random battle?" >_>;
Luca: "... How do you know what 'jobbing' means in that context when you've been asleep for at least decades again?" .-.

Luca knows immediately, there is only one person who would call them with that awful moniker. "You! Where have you been?!"

I mean, I know that I've been making funny jokes about it, but somehow, I didn't get a solid read about Luca being this annoyed at suddenly being a servant roped along on a grand quest with the divine llama. If you roll out a revision, you probably want to show that Luca's patience with Arceus is wearing progressively thinner and thinner through their thought processes, especially in this chapter and in Chapter 2.

"I sensed a torn fabric of time. A contingency measure has been taken, we may rest easy for now," answers the man calmly. He takes a look at the rumbling Onix and asks, "Pray tell, what did you do to make her this aggressive?"

[ ]

"I would like to know too. Can you translate?"

[ ]

"Putting that aside," he continues, "judging from the situation, it seems you are unable to defeat her. If that is the case, you just need to prove your strength."

It feels like there's some sort of reaction or gear-turning missing in the two bracketed parts. The first from Luca since this is the first time they're seeing Arceus talk to other Pokémon and evidencing that he can understand them even if it'd be logical on reflection, and the second some sort of reaction from Arceus back to Luca's question since he kinda blows them off there.

"Just need to…." Luca mumbles. Memories flash in their mind: the smallest of the herd; more successful peers; a poor performance; an empty badge case. Their hold on Celia tightens as they mutter, "Are you… are you mocking us?"

Arceus: "I wasn't aware that providing a candid translation on behalf of your partner was mockery now."

Luca: "Look, you could've made it a bit less blunt." >_>;

Ignoring that, the man extends his hand toward the Cyndaquil, caressing her head. That hand brushed against Luca's skin, warm as sunlight. "I will lend you my power, little one." With those words, a gentle light begins to envelop Celia. "You can do it."

Oh, well this is going to go places quickly.

The Cyndaquil struggles free from her trainer's hold to face the Onix once again. She takes a stance, fire burning on her back. The man gives the trainer a meaningful, expecting look. A second chance, huh? They bite their lip, collect their breath, then shout out, "Flamethrower!"

Luca: "... I have no idea if this is going to work, but..."

A blast of fire escapes from the tiny creature's mouth once again. This time, it swallows the rock snake Pokémon, giving the entire shaft a bright orange hue. The lamps flicker, the heat too much for them. When it dies down, the Onix collapses as well.

"We… we did it," whispers Luca, staring in disbelief. What did this man do to Celia? That doubt is momentarily dispelled when they see Celia rushing toward them in joy. They catch the Cyndaquil in an embrace. "You did it! You won against a Rock-type! Good girl!" Celia coos in delight. Perhaps just this once is fine.

For the first time, Luca flashes a smile at the man in white.

Arceus: "... I literally just said that I lent her my power. What is there to not understand about that?" :|
Luca: "Look, I wasn't expecting 'your power' to result in that... (Not that I'm complaining about it.)" ^^;

When Luca wakes up later, they are no longer in the rocky tunnel of Oreburgh Mine, but in a clean white room. Ah yes, they must have passed out after the encounter with the Onix. The nurse present informs them that their Pokémon are in good condition, and someone is holding onto them. That person is waiting in the lobby. Is it Professor Linden? No, as nice as that would be, their hunch tells them it would be that person. No choice but to meet him then.

I... didn't get the idea at all that Luca was significantly injured from the last scene. Let alone to the point that they'd be woozy or in danger of passing out. If this is indeed what's supposed to happen, you probably want to play that up a lot more. Alternatively, you could go the other route of toning down Luca's injuries and end on a note of noticing that Luca was injured in the scuffle in the last scene, "let's go get that checked out", and then cut to the clinic/hospital with a passing note of "wow, that trip here sucked" in a sentence or two.

Multiple solutions to consider, though as-is, the current transition feels a bit jarring and either needs to be built up to more or else smoothed out.

As expected, it is the man in white, dozing off with Celia snacking on a berry on his lap. He is back to normal, though his hair is still untied, reminding Luca of the ribbon in their pocket. Inhale, exhale. Before they can say a word, however, the Cyndaquil makes a delighted coo at her trainer, waking up the man. A quiet, awkward moment passes before he asks, "Child of Light, do you feel better now?"

Luca: "(That's debatable given that you're still calling me that cringey 'Child of Light' thing.) I'm... surviving?" >_>;

"Yeah, uhm," They take a step aside, glancing off, then reach into the coat of their pocket for his ribbon – good, it's still there – to return it to him. "Were you the one who brought me here? Thanks."

He takes the ribbon and runs his fingers from one end of it to another. Satisfied, he begins to tie his hair back with it. "The wise man was of help too," he replies while his hands continue to work on tidying up his hair. "He navigated the labyrinth of your modern society when I couldn't."

"Wise man?" Luca has a bemused look, before realizing, "Ah, the Professor. Speaking of, where is he?"

"He left. He said he doesn't want to miss a Bronzong outbreak near the mountain."

Luca: "(Seriously, Professor Linden? I get beat up enough to need to see a doctor and you ditch me for some floating bells?!)" >_>;
Arceus: "I... was skeptical of his decision to leave so early myself, but eh. I think that I can adequately care for my servants' needs."

"So I'm valued less than some Bronzong…" mutters Luca.

Boy can I call 'em or what? :V

"Child of Light."

"No, it's nothing! I mean, what?"

"I wish to go to Jubilife City," says the man, ignoring Luca's flustered expression. He points at the television across the room – it's currently showing an idol and her Togekiss, dressed in frills and ribbons. "Something about that caught my attention, and the wise man taught me that everything shown in that box originated from Jubilife City."

Better than Hearthome, otherwise we might have seen Arceus in full contest getup and Luca die of embarrassment.

"Jubilife, huh…" Luca takes a seat next to the man; Celia promptly climbs to their lap. They did plan to visit Lake Verity for a chance to glimpse the enigmatic Pokemon living in the lake, and Jubilife City is… "Sure, we can stop by Jubilife on the way."

He blinks. "I did not expect you to agree so readily. I am grateful, Child of Light."

Arceus: "Least of all since you're still on bedrest right now-"
Luca: "Oi, don't give me second thoughts here." >_>;

"It just happens to be on the route for my next destination!" says Luca with a pout. "And please stop calling me that. I have a…" They trail off as a realization hit. A name? "Hey, this is embarrassing, but come to think about it, I haven't learned your name…."

"It's Arceus."

"No, not that," rejects Luca with a wave of hand. "It would be too suspicious if I called you that in front of people. I mean a nickname or an alias."

Luca: "Trust me, you don't want to go around being called 'Arceus' in front of random people." >_>;
Arceus: "So... 'God', then?" :?
Luca: "Something that isn't blatantly a term for a divinity!" >.<

"Ah…." He sighs. "Now I remember, previously it was like this too. Well, go on and give me one then. A name that would fit the sensibilities of your era without betraying my essence."

"Eh? Me? Pick one?" asks Luca, and he nods. Luca begins to ponder. This is too sudden. They never dreamed they would ever give an alias to a deity. Have their seniors in the field ever found themselves in this kind of situation? How should this be approached? They can't just call a living being with the name of a region or landmark. Codes are obviously not good either. So…

Arceus: "You know, if you're genuinely struggling this much, we can just stick with 'God'-"
Luca: "I just started thinking here!" >_>;

Luca shakes their head. We are not naming an artifact here! Though he is certainly old no matter how youthful his face is!

Calm down, think about it again slowly. How about giving him an embarrassing nickname as payback for calling them by one? No, they are not that petty, and it will eventually get embarrassing for them too. So a normal name, something that would fit the era and his essence…. He is Arceus. He is a mighty being who supposedly created the world. He was the beginning of all.

Also, I don't think you want to try and humiliate a creator deity. That sounds like a way to have problems in short order.

"Then… Alfa?" they mumble.

"As in 'alpha,' the beginning." He nods. "Perhaps not the most clever name, but adequate." He pats them on the head as he stands from his seat. "Shall we get going then?"

And thus, llama got a name to kick around for the story. Definitely sounds less pretentious than the likes of 'Deus'.

An unfamiliar region and a new traveling companion. Luca never expected their journey to be a dull one when they left their home, but they would never have dreamed of this turn of events. As much as they loathe to think of the possible troubles ahead, at least it will not be boring.

An unfamiliar region and a new traveling companion. Luca never expected their journey to be a dull one when they left their home, but they would never have dreamed of this turn of events. As much as they loathe to think of the possible troubles ahead, at least it will not be boring.

You... kinda accidentally repeated your outro paragraph there. ^^;

Alright, overall thoughts.

I liked the chapter in general, especially the glimpses of the characters that we do get to see, but there were definitely a few parts about it that felt a bit shaky. I'd glimpsed in passing that a few of the prior reviews had complaints about pacing. I don't think that's a big issue for Chapters 1 & 2, but it was pretty noticeable here since some of the transitions between places felt borderline teleport-tier.

I also saw a mention on your part that you like to keep your chapters bite-sized, and in light of how there's some things to be ironed out here, I think my overall recommendation if you're going to stick to that design choice would be to expand Chapter 3 as a whole, and then divide it into a Chapter 3 and 4. One throwaway example of how you could pull it off without a ton of extra work would be basically be as follows:

Chapter 3: Your current first scene, plus dropping in a scene where Luca and Celia are looking around for Alfa in the Oreburgh Mines, whatever preparations they had for the environment give out (since it does feel like a gigantic oversight on Luca's part to not have Repels as part of the supplies they picked up in Chapter 2 when Celia appears to be their only Pokémon, and it'd be valuable for avoiding problems in environments just like this one and the whole approach up to Spear Pillar), and then they get ambushed by the Onix as a cliffhanger ending.

Chapter 4: Your current second and third scenes, with some tweaks here and there to account for any changes made in your new Chapter 3.

Definitely a more critical note than I was hoping to end on, but hope that helps, @silurica . And I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this story in the future.

 

[silurica]

Chapter 4: Jubilee Broadcast​

It's a relaxing day in Route 203, the outskirts of Jubilife City. The sun is bright, the breeze is gentle, and the Starly tweet cheery songs. From Oreburgh Gate to the east, a trainer and their Cyndaquil come crawling out, drenched in water and mud. "I'm alive!" One declaration, enough to startle the nearby Starly into flying away. "I thought I was a goner! Oh my god!"

"Yes?"

"You!" Luca points at the man in white who, unlike them, came out of the cave in a perfectly clean state. "Please don't suddenly take a detour like that again. And a place full of water at that! What if something happened to me or Celia? Or worse, my sketchbook and journal?"

"I see," he replies. "But we have the Earth Plate now. Thank you for putting up with it."

Luca stares at their companion. Look at his face: guileless, deadpan, devoid of any color whatsoever. A blank canvas that shouldn't be if he truly means his words. Is it too late to turn back now and try to track down Professor Linden?

No, on second thought, their mentor would insist on them continuing this assignment.

"Sure, sure. Just don't do it again," says Luca with a sigh. This is still an odd arrangement to be in, and they are too exhausted to argue after the sudden detour and worrying about their books. Celia the Cyndaquil climbs up to her trainer's lap, warm and toasty, and the trainer wraps their arms around her.

In the distance, they can see the skyline of Jubilife City, steel and concrete reaching toward the sky. So close, yet so far. If only they could teleport to the city without moving a muscle, how nice that would be. Then they can find a cheap but comfortable hotel for a day of rest and forget about the whole plate business. Yes, that would be nice.

The next time they blink, they are floating above the same buildings they just gazed at. They blink again; they are still floating in the sky. Celia squeals in their arms.

"Wh-wha—" Their head is spinning. Their legs flail in a futile attempt to find something to stand on. Is this real? They know only one person around who can pull such a trick. "Alfa! I just told you, don't do—"

"Hey, don't yell at my dearest Father!" There is an unfamiliar voice, giggling like ringing bells. "I'll drop you if you speak so rudely again!"

"I would appreciate it if you don't turn my guide into paste."

"Oh, Father, of course I won't!"

Who? The voices came from behind Luca. Once again, their attempt to reposition themself is futile. Thankfully it isn't for long, as in the next moment, the party lands on the tallest building, covered with satellite dishes. "Here should be the least conspicuous," says the psychic.

As soon as their feet reach solid floor, Luca immediately checks themself – Celia is okay; their glasses didn't fall; beret is still on their head; their bag is unopened. Everything seems to be in order.

"How did you like that? I granted your wish of teleportation!" The giggling voice assaults their ears. "How do you feel? Excited? Confused? Happy? Mad? I can sense a funny mix in you!"

Luca takes a few steps back, Celia still in cradle, before taking a look at the source of this lunacy: a petite character wearing their pink hair in twintails, dressed in light blue and adorned with a big, long ribbon on their back. Red jewels decorate the tail ends of their ribbon, and as they laugh, their golden eyes twinkle like reflected starlight.

"H-Haha." After everything, now all that Luca can muster is a faint, tired laughter. They want to go to bed. On the ground. Celia chirps and pats her trainer's arm in consolation.

"This is Mesprit," says Alfa, letting slide what just occurred like it was another Tuesday for him. "Although…." He raises his hand; it goes right through the psychic's satisfied smirk. "Your body is still in your lake, isn't it?"

"Of course you could tell, Father!" The psychic twirls to face Alfa – the ribbon on their back circling them in the motion – and offers a bow. "Please forgive my rudeness in using astral projection to meet you, but I'm so glad to be the first among my siblings to welcome you after your awakening."

"I don't mind. Can you become solid for a moment?" asks Alfa. When they do ("As you wish."), Alfa places his hand on their head and begins rubbing it. The psychic giggles softly.

'Father,' huh? In their mind, Luca begins reciting one of the myths of the region: From itself again, three living things the Original One did make. 'Father' makes sense in that context, but it's still surprising to see the oddball acting fatherly like this.

"What did you just call my dearest father?"

Luca jumps backward. When did Mesprit get right in front of them? And did they always wear that ruby red hairpin?

"Heehee! You react a lot, and your emotion fluctuates so vibrantly in your silver eyes! I love that. Silver eyes are a good omen, you know? Here, another gift from me." Mesprit waves a hand at Luca; a warm wind blows, drying the befuddled trainer in an instant.

"Mesprit…." mutters Alfa, his arms crossed.

Giggling, Mesprit flits toward the door of the rooftop. The door glows for a short moment when they place their hand on its handle. "Shall we go, then? I know you are tired from assisting my dearest Father. Oh, and call me Eve!"

After entering the building, it soon becomes clear that they are in Jubilife TV station. The busy crew hurrying to meet their schedules. The glimpses of stars you usually only see on screen. The excited laughter of the audience and visitors. If one was a romantic, they might call it a place where dreams are made.

Luca isn't a romantic in the matter of mass entertainment. They whisper to no one, "I hope the staff are getting enough sleep."

Alfa, on the other hand, watches everything that goes on with interest. "And then everything recorded here will be transmitted throughout the boxes in the region."

"It's called television, Father."

"Television." Alfa nods. "So this is how far humans have come in my absence. Ah, there is one in this room too."

It appears to be a room for guests to rest in. There are comfortable seats, strategically placed potted plants, a magazine rack, and a television – Jubilife TV channel, of course. It's currently showing a recording of a Pokémon League match.

"—powerful Hydro Pump! Can Garbodor stand back up?! Three… two… one… and that's it, folks! The winner is Nox and Feraligatr! They'll move on to the semifinal! What a show from our newcomer – truly the silver storm! Will they win the ticket to challenge the Elite—"

Celia coos as her trainer's hold on her tightens. Hearing that, Luca turns their gaze away. "Anyway," – they turned their mind away as well – "you wanted to come here, didn't you?"

"I thought I would be able to meet one of my children here," answers Alfa. As they walk, he continues observing his surroundings and the people passing. "But I can't sense her presence." His gaze intensifies with those words, startling someone who met it by coincidence.

"Isn't Eve here your child?"

"They are, but meeting Mesprit here was unexpected."

Eve giggles. "Your future sight has always been lousy, Father."

"I need to give it all of my focus to get it right. It's such a bother…. Oh."

The next hallway they enter is filled with posters and signatures of celebrities. "So bright," mumbles Luca. "Huh? What now?" they ask when they see Alfa rushing forward; his face, too, is bright.

"Here," calls Alfa. He points at a poster of a pale young woman dressed in white and lavender, paired with a Togekiss. "I saw her on television. This is Palkia, isn't it?"

"So you could tell! Impressive, Father!" replies Eve. "That's right, she goes by Tiana nowadays."

"Is this what priestesses do now? I approve of spreading the divine words with such convenient technology, but these clothes are not what I have come to expect." Alfa's eyes follow the curves of the idol, his expression impassive as ever.

"Oh, um, no. She quit priestesshood," replies Eve. Alfa's eyebrows twitch, making the psychic freeze for an instant. "I-I suppose it won't hurt to go ask when she's scheduled for a show. Oh, hello!" They wave at the first person – a beautiful person, perhaps a celebrity – passing by the hallway and skips away.

And there they go. There is risk of Eve overhearing their thoughts, but Luca still can't help wondering if it's fine to let the psychic go. For starters, they are not yet convinced that Eve has more common sense than their eccentric father.

Speaking of, Alfa is still looking up at the poster on the wall. He and the idol do share similarities: the same silver hair and red eyes, a blinding presence. Luca has ascribed that brightness to Tiana's polished performance before, but if she really was one of Alfa's children, perhaps there was another reason for it.

Eve is taking a while. Alfa is now holding Celia – once again, the two seem to get along – since Luca's arms have grown tired of holding her weight. As an artist, they cannot overwork their arms.

As time passes, Luca remembers the reason they wanted to go to Lake Verity: investigate Mesprit's existence, try to spot the legendary Pokémon if the investigation result points toward positive, and paint the lake and Mesprit. Technically, they have cleared the first goal, while the rest…. Maybe they should bring it up to Eve? Eve surely would be a tease about it though….

"Aw, I'm flattered you want to draw lil' old me! But no, I have no plan to come up to the surface anytime soon."

Luca jumps backward and hits the wall with a thud. Celia squeaks in surprise. The painter protests, "Please stop sneaking up on me like that!"

"But I'm not?" Eve's giggles ring in Luca's head, and now the painter knows they won't ever forget it. The psychic turns their attention to the taller man. "My apologies, Father. She wouldn't tell me about Miss Tiana's schedule, and her mind was so busy that I couldn't read it properly. Even though I told her that you are Miss Tiana's dearest father!"

Luca stares in disbelief. Of course she wouldn't believe that. Anyone could make up that kind of claim. Perhaps it's true that berries don't fall far from the tree, even when said tree and berries are immortal beings from the beginning of the world.

"More importantly," adds Eve, "I sense a distortion nearby."

Alfa's eyes widen, a slight frown forms on his face. "Is there? Can we reach it from here?"

Eve looks taken aback; for once, there is no trace of their cheery airs. "You couldn't tell? Is it because of me?"

The man puts his hand on the psychic's head again, caressing them, his fingers touching on the red hairpin. "Don't worry about that; I simply have yet to adjust fully to my current form. But perhaps I can use assistance. Child of Light?"

"It's Luca."

"Do you want to learn how to mend a distortion in time?"

 

[silurica]

Chapter 5: Azure Sound​

"Do you want to learn how to mend a distortion in time?"

Luca stares at the man in white, then sighs. "I don't have the choice to refuse, do I?"

Instead of answering, however, Alfa closes his eyes. What? If that's the case, then he should just—

"Quiet, won't you?" says Eve, smiling with one finger pointed at Luca. "You are an adorable child, but I will spare no forgiveness if you dare to interrupt my dearest father."

"Hush now," whispers Alfa. Eve flashes a smug smile, though Luca senses that the scolding was directed to the psy— Wait, they can't think of that now. Or can they? The psychic does nothing but stare at them.

As if that awkwardness was never there, Alfa opens his eyes again and answers, "It is true that it would be to my advantage if you accept, but the Azure Flute resonates with your heart. I cannot make you draw out my aura… my power with it if you have no desire to."

"Desire… huh?" murmurs Luca. A vague word, but it gives them an inkling of what Alfa expects from them: a connection.

"Yes – if your desire is insufficient, all you will make is noises, just like at the Spear Pillar," says Alfa with a wince. "That truly was horrible."

"Well, I'm sorry!" Luca pouts. "Anyway, I've seen that you're more than just an oddball. I will trust your instructions for now."

——————————————​

How they wish they had not accepted that request. Or order, whichever it is. They wouldn't have if they knew it would involve playing the Azure Flute in the middle of a park! Where people are looking!

Luca's hands tighten around the Azure Flute. Celia nuzzles against their legs, noticing her trainer's nervousness. Ah, yes. That is exactly what they are feeling now. Nervous. Worry. Some of the passersby hasten their steps, some of them slow down; both make Luca shift from one foot to the other, over and over.

Even the Stunky in the trash can is taking its time to look. Oh, now it's digging through the garbage in a rush, its bushy tail swaying in the motion. Then it slows down. Then it's digging with vigor again. Wait, this isn't the time to observe a Stunky!

They look up at the clock at the center of the park – they have been stealing glances at it as they fret. Sometimes the hands move too fast, sometimes too slow, and sometimes stop entirely. Is this what Alfa meant by a distortion in time? It looks indistinguishable from a broken clock.

In any case, something should be done about it. Luca knows that much, but when they remember how they took the responsibility without fully knowing what it entails, they begin wishing they were a Shuckle.

Alfa himself is sitting on a bench a few meters away. Eve has left; they said they can't keep lingering if they want to recover enough energy to return to the surface soon.

"Celia, what have I gotten myself into?" They let out a long sigh. The Cyndaquil tilts her head.

"Hello, there."

Luca turns around toward the voice. A woman is approaching. Dark-skinned and black hair, with white coat and black attire that complement her figure. A Salandit perches like a shawl over her bare shoulders. For a moment, it feels as if the world had slowed down to linger on her beauty. Seeing the woman fills Luca with the desire to paint her.

The woman laughs with a sharp smile. "Ah, hello? Your pink-headed friend spoke to me earlier."

"Ah, I see…." mumbles Luca. Celia growls and tugs on her trainer's coat, returning Luca to their senses. "Oh! You're from Jubilife TV! No, I mean, I-I'm sorry for bothering you."

The Salandit cackles. Celia squints at the black lizard, her first time seeing one in the flesh. It's the first time for Luca too, but right now the lizard is among the least of their concerns.

As she taps on the Salandit's long snout – it goes quiet at the gesture – the woman says, "No, no, I didn't mind that. I thought it was peculiar, though…. Oh, do you mind if I talk with you?"

Luca shakes their head vigorously. "Not at all! Not at all!"

"Thanks! By the way, my name is Ervilia – Ervi for short. What about yours?"

"I-It's Luca…." they answer. Celia isn't making any fire, but why do they feel their face going hot?

"Luca, see, I'm something of a journalist. I travel from region to region to find interesting stories. And Tiana is a beloved idol, right? So there must be something interesting that can be gained from learning about her background."

"A gossip journalist…." whispers Luca.

"Ah, that's not exactly right, but I suppose not entirely wrong either for this story," says Ervilia with a shrug. She looks toward Alfa, who is now dozing off in his seat with a flock of Starly gathering around him. "I never disclosed this to the press, but I found she was raised in an orphanage. Yet now we have someone claiming to be her father – maybe I didn't have the complete picture?"

Luca frowns. It's true that they are akin to father and daughter, but they can't just say that the two are Arceus and Palkia, can they? Imagine the chaos! Imagine the headache. "Please forget what you heard. My companions are… eccentric, to say the least."

Ervilia laughs – her laughter would be a pleasing color if put on paper. "Are they? In my line of work I often find the eccentric right, though. By the way, what are you doing with that thing in your hand?"

"Oh, this is a flute… kind of," answers Luca. They look down at the instrument, feeling its weight in their hands. The odd shape and the size reminds them of a heart. "I'm supposed to play it, but it's just… so embarrassing…." They can remember it clearly, the time when they botched a performance at a Gym. It will be loud. It will be bad. People will see. People will see. And the disappointment—

They pull their beret down. If nothing else, they don't want to see.

Ervilia, meanwhile, hums and asks, "But you still want to play it?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, you didn't refuse. Or is that it? You couldn't refuse?"

Luca shrinks a little. They couldn't, especially a request as small as playing a flute. Putting aside their lack of understanding in how this is going to help patch the distortion, it's far from the most outrageous thing they've been asked to do in their life. And yet, like a bone stuck in their throat, they can't bring themself to play it.

"Well, he only asked me to play this here," says Luca, glancing at Alfa. "It's apparently something important for him and… for everything."

"I see," says Ervilia with a smile. "Then he must be someone important to you too if you're still trying to do this. Is that it?"

Luca's expression stiffens. "No, it's nothing like that at all. I mean, we've only met recently."

"Oh? Then what is he to you?"

Luca casts their gaze toward the man in white, who still sleeps sitting on the bench. The oddly-shaped flute – his flute – fits in their hands. He lent them and Celia power, and even after they fumbled, after they let their mouth run off, he still….

"He's an oddball," answers Luca. "Everything about this is weird and I'm still trying to make sense of my place in it, including what he wants from me… but he's the oddball who believes in me and I want to try returning that sentiment."

Thinking about it now, he reminds them a bit of when Professor Linden found them.

They blow the flute. There is no sound to speak of, nothing that can be heard by human ears, but something stirs. That something guides their fingers along the instrument. That something guides them along the openings of the heart. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Alfa is awake now, watching and not quite human. A transparent song envelopes the world, and it carries light and glory under His merciful gaze—

Alfa still looks human. People and Pokémon pass by the park without care. Rumbles of vehicles can be heard in the distance. Ervilia is still there as she was before Luca played the flute. The world wasn't bathed in heavenly light, and if it was, nobody but Luca seemed to notice. Alfa is now standing before them, and he nods his approval.

"I don't know what just occurred, but it seems you did it?" asks Ervilia. The Salandit has climbed up to her head, staring at Luca with discerning eyes.

They blink. Whatever that was, the ground is still under their feet this time. It's done; when this fact sinks in, Luca's legs finally give in to the fatigue. "…Yeah. Thank you, Miss Ervi…."

With those words said, they finally run out of battery and collapse. Alfa takes a step forward, right on time, catching them before they can fall to the ground. "This is the second time…." says Alfa while lifting his companion; their hands are still clutching tight on the Azure Flute. Celia climbs up to his shoulder in the meantime.

"Interesting kid." Ervilia grins. "And you seem like an interesting man too."

"Do I?"

"Yup. It was all timed too well for you to be just sleeping," says Ervilia. When Alfa gives her a quiet look, she only shrugs. "I like to think I can be a journalist by being observant. Anyway, I'll be traveling around this region for a little while. I hope I'll see you two again." She gives the man a jovial slap on the back and waves a goodbye. As he watches her back, for the first time he notices the teardrop-shaped golden prism on her coat.

"Well then," he says to Celia, "I suppose it is time for us to seek respite." The Cyndaquil coos her approval, while her trainer is none the wiser about the selection of place for sleep.

 

[OrionTheAbsol]

Crossposted from Bulbagarden.

Spoiler: My Commentary

Chapter 1: The Man in White

• "The painter scratches the backside of the fire mouse Pokémon's neck" - I legit almost thought the painter was scratching a Cyndaquil's butt, lol (until I saw 'neck'). 'Nape' might be a better word here.
• I wonder how Luca got ahold of an Azure Flute.
• lol, Arceus just straight up entering someone's Poké Ball. Funnily enough, that's not too outlandish.
• The way Arceus made his descent on Mt. Coronet is a pretty neat image.

Chapter 2: A Museum and a Professor

• Arceus, not all-knowing? Heresy! Heresy, I say!
• lol, Arceus angry at heresy. Something about that is hilarious to me.
• Azure Flute question answered.

Chapter 3: The Flame in the Dark

• Damn, getting Luca's backstory in a paragraph. A deep-seated fear of failure.

I'll stop here for now. The premise is interesting, and I see it as an alternate approach to a journey fic in a way; instead of going the usual Pokémon journey, the creation god chose an artist to assist him.

I wonder what he plans to do once he has all the plates, though. Something about a 'disturbance' but I guess it's something too much that his base powers won't be able to overcome. On the surface, he doesn't seem malicious at all, though he does view humans with disdain. Considering that he wasn't terrible toward Luca, I'm guessing his disdain extends only as far as annoyance. And I'm guessing his 'children' are Dialga, Palkia and Giratina. The way he speaks of them comes across as fatherly.

Despite his mannerisms, I see him as potentially caring for Luca as a close friend. A possible conflict in the story could involve him valuing Luca for their role as a guide across Sinnoh rather than seeing Luca as a valuable partner. Some room for character development there.

I'll see if I can pick up more chapters later in the week. Keep up the good work!