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Pokémon Journey Through A Lens [PMD Story]

MidnightMutetation

Reviewing 'til I drop~
Location
Singapore
Pronouns
Her/She
"A world with only pokémon sounds like a fantasy; a fantasy that Angela Springer will soon live out when she's arbitrarily appointed to carry out a one-man rescue mission. She had every reason to refuse, but how could she? Angela has to show everyone just what she's capable of and prove herself to be a "hero", even if that means facing a few uncomfortable truths along the way."
MM's Notes: Hello, hello! I've been lurking on TR for a while now, but this is my first time posting an actual fic here, so forgive me if I make any blunders along the way (I will do my best to amend them). Most importantly, though, I hope that this will be an enjoyable ride from start to finish! =)

And yeah, the chapter index will not be working as functional links until I can figure out how to actually do that. Sorry!

Warning: Language, depictions of violence (but nothing gory)



Chapter 1: A Shocking Offer
 

MidnightMutetation

Reviewing 'til I drop~
Location
Singapore
Pronouns
Her/She
Chapter 1


Tap, tap, tap.

The early sun’s rays shone through flimsy, lilac curtains in slim slivers. Angela sat at her beaten desk, staring at the photographs held tightly in her hands. The pokémon’s smiles seemed to mock her, but as much as she wanted to throw these failures away, she couldn’t. Too much effort went into them.

Tap, tap, tap.

Fingers drummed restlessly against the wooden surface. Her bare feet kicked the opposite wall in a dull, yet light rhythm. Her eyes squinted at the photographs, trying to seek out anything that could answer her questions. Her mouth opened and closed, silently muttering to herself. She paid no mind to the clinging and clanging coming from the kitchen.

Tap, tap...

Her fingers stilled, and she pushed her chair backwards while throwing her head back with a loud groan. The mane she called her hair flapped wildly with the motion. "What is wrong with me?!"

Approximately five seconds later, regret hit her in the form of a large, pink-and-black body barreling straight into her, knocking both of them off the chair and onto the floor. Angela let out a wheeze as the body weighed down on her, high-pitched churrs assaulting her senses. Angela was hardly alarmed by this — she supposed that she should've been more mindful of her own voice — but that didn't stop the pinprick of annoyance she felt. “Ben, get off," she grunted.

One more squeak, then the weight mercifully rolled off her. Angela barely had time to regain her bearings before arms wrapped around her middle, hefting her up to her feet effortlessly. Huffing, she turned to face the culprit. “Benjamin, what have I told you about running around in the apartment?”

Benjamin, a bewear with two different sets of bandages wrapped around its arms, trilled lowly.

“Yeah, don’t do that. You’re going to piss off the hag downstairs. Besides, I’m fine,” she said, discreetly massaging her aching ribs.

The action still did not go unnoticed. Angela could only stare quizzically as his eyes suddenly glimmered, and Benjamin got up to trot into the kitchen. “What are you...?”

Her question was answered as soon as he came ambling back with an oran berry carefully cradled in his paws. She recognised it as the one from a batch she had bought recently, just for the bewear. The berry was thrust into her hands, and despite herself, Angela melted a bit at the sight. “Aw, Benny..."

Then she caught sight of the dull blue bandages wrapped around his arms, which reminded her of why the berries were there to begin with. The warm feeling was squashed very quickly. “Benny,” she said again, but with more disapproval. “Benny, I bought those for you. You’re the injured one, remember?" The ‘injured pokémon’ in question had already mostly healed, but Angela elected not to bring it up.

Benjamin flinched back at the sharp tone, his beady eyes widening comically as he made a squeak.

"No, nuh uh. Not falling for the lillipup eyes again. Come on, go back and lie down,” she said, pushing the bewear along firmly but gently. Angela steered him towards the corner of the bedroom, where a king-size mattress with about a dozen blankets thrown into a haphazard pile was; a physical reminder of her many attempts to straighten them out, only to be followed by her subsequent surrender. Another thing to pile on her building frustration.

“Sit.” Benjamin sat with a whump. “Eat your berry.” At this, he gave a trill of protest, shaking his head so hard that the twin fur tufts on his head flapped along with the motion.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she said warningly. “Benjamin, I already said before that I needed you to recover fully by Saturday, and I'm not taking any chances. If you’re not feeling better by then, I can’t go out to take pictures. If I can’t go out to take pictures, do you know what happens?”

Benjamin blinked.

“That’s right, no money for us! No money means no food, no house, and no treats for you.” She poked his belly with a slender human finger for emphasis. Benjamin didn’t react much to her words until the last part, at which he let out a distressed trill. “Yeah, that’s right. I know it's only a part-time job, but it still pays very well. So stop worrying about me, okay?”

‘It doesn’t even make sense, anyway,’ she thought privately. ‘I wasn’t the one who got my ass bit by liepards.’

It took a bit more cajoling from her side, but eventually, Benjamin relented and brought the berry up to his muzzle. Angela noticed that his movements were more... ginger than usual. A far cry from Mr Chair Tackler a few minutes ago.

Speaking of which... "I'll need to change your bandages later, Ben," she said as Benjamin gulped down the rest of his berry, his muzzle and paws sticky with berry juice. “I don't want to hear any complaining, okay?”

“Bree!” A sticky paw brushed against her face again, and she jerked it away. “Bee! Beee!”

“Hey! Stop! Stop! Ben, what are you doing?” she hissed, several strands of hair getting caught on the sticky paw despite her best efforts. She took a clean portion of his arm and pulled it away, but Benjamin was still staring at her with a strange amount of concern. An accomplishment in her book, considering his beady eyes. “Why are you being so... Oh.”

She nearly facepalmed.

“Is this about me shouting? Listen, Ben, I’m fine. Yes, really,” she reaffirmed upon hearing a questioning chirp. “I was just... Here, I’ll just show you.”

Jumping up to her feet, she crossed over to her desk and snatched up the photograph. However, the moment she turned back, something at the back of her mind blossomed into a full-fledged “What if?” that stopped her in her tracks. Her nails left tiny indents as her fingers clenched the photograph.

A series of rationalizations slowly bloomed, one after another, to form a coherent hypothetical. Benjamin had always been handsy — pawsy? — with her belongings, his belongings, and everything else. Her photos were no exception, and the fact that all of them were so vibrant and colourful didn’t help. Didn’t help, until now at least. ‘If I can let him play around with the pictures, then they’ll get ruined and I'll have an excuse to extend the deadline!’

It was a juvenile idea, yes — the elementary-level phrase “My pokémon burnt/froze/chewed my homework!” came to mind — but it might buy her another week before that photo editor came hounding after her...

... On second thought, maybe not. She chewed on her bottom lip pensively as the idea rapidly lost its shine. That editor was a lot of things, and 'nosy' was one of them. There was a possibility that if it seemed too careless for her usual behaviour, Amy would keep breathing down her neck over it until she fessed up. Maybe she wouldn’t fall for a cheap tactic like that after all.

Bah, what else could she do?

“Beee...”

Angela only realised something bad was going to happen when a familiar whine somehow teleported next to her ear, but the thought to just move didn’t occur until she was suddenly crushed against a fuzzy body. A fuzzy and sticky body.

‘Ew ew ew oh god ewewew—‘

“Benny! Too tight, too tight!” Angela wheezed as the arms pressed into her ribcage. She swore that she could hear something in her creak. His grip loosened too slowly for her taste, allowing her to wriggle free and jump away immediately. Her face twisted into a scowl as she demanded, “What was that for?”

Benjamin tapped the side of his head, then her chest (smudging even more of her shirt). She kept her frown up for a little while longer, then it was lost with a huff of exasperation. “What? What, was I thinking too much again?”

The bewear tilted the upper half of his body in a nod.

“Right, right, sorry about that. Was just... ah, thinking about something.” Once again, Angela guided Benjamin back to the bed and forcefully sat him down. She shot him one last “Don’t get up again” look, then whipped out the photographs. “I was thinking about these, actually.”

She regarded the photographs again, but with a less critical eye than before. Most of them were pictures of regular pokémon: a pidove pecking at a half-eaten berry, a pansage in mid-swing with a wild grin befitting of a wild pokémon, and so on. They weren't the source of her ire. Sure, they were still annoying to look at, but they weren't the ones Amy wanted.

She slid out one photograph for Benjamin to see. It depicted a typical venusaur family nesting together; typical except for the shimmering, lemon yellow hide of what she assumed to be the leader of the pack, as well as several of its younglings. Angela supposed that to a casual eye, it looked decent enough, but all of the tiny mistakes kept sticking out like a sore thumb. An awkward pose here, a shaky shot there...

It was extremely minor, and it was infuriating in a major way.

“This isn't good at all! I spent days trying to gather good shots and this is all I have to show for it. Yes, it’s not good, Benny," she said with injected patience when Benjamin barked at the self-inflicted criticism. Angela gave a tap on his muzzle as a reminder to stay quiet. "Remember Miss Amy, the nice lady I gave my photos to?"

The mere mention of the photo editor was enough to send Benjamin into transports of delight. Must be because of the treats Amy constantly gave him.

“Yeah, that’s right. Remember she asked me to get good pictures of this shiny pokémon? The one we spent four days trying to track down? She said that only I could do it. Me, someone who’s just taking pictures for a hobby! This is a big deal, and I rushed in and only managed to get a crappy picture!” she snapped, her fingers tightening on the photograph.

Angela let out a muffled sound of frustration that prompted Benjamin to rub her back hard. She winced slightly, but decided that it wasn’t worth telling him off for this time. She had more pressing matters on her hands now. “I don’t get it! I’m sure I did everything right. I memorised their daily routines, I camped out there to keep an eye on them, I even made sure to keep the predators away—“

Benjamin made a small squeak at that, waving his bandaged arms.

“—Yeah, thanks for that, by the way. I’ll change your wrappings later, I promise,” Angela said absently, tracing a finger over the venusaur. “Once I’m done with...”

Her shoulder slumped forward. Done with what? The deadline to hand in the photographs was tomorrow, and there was absolutely no more time to get new ones. She couldn’t think of any way to extend the deadline too. Sure, it was just a side gig that didn’t even pay for a quarter of the bills, but Angela was still being paid for it. If the pictures weren’t up to snuff, then payment would most likely be withheld, and if payment was withheld, it’d be because of her own plan going wrong. Amy might not ever trust her with anymore assignments, and Angela wouldn't be able to continue her hobby, and it would be all her fault—

A paw suddenly gave a firm bop — it definitely wasn’t a pat — on her head, snapping Angela out of her thoughts. “Wha? Huh? What did you do that for?” she asked distractedly.

Benjamin stayed quiet and simply stared at her with beady eyes.

Nevertheless, it was all she needed to know. “... Right, right, thinking too much again. Thanks, pal,” Angela muttered, brows dipping into a frown despite the cheery tone she forced out. “Let’s not worry about the photos anymore, okay? I... I, uh, I need to get ready to go back to work for next week anyway.”

She only realised how lame of an excuse it was after it left her lips. All she did was work at the Nimbasa Dreamworld theme park; there wasn’t exactly anything to “get ready” for. But it was still a convenient one, not to mention the only excuse she could think up on the fly as she began to usher Benjamin to the bathroom. “Come on, let’s get those wrappings changed quick. And get a shower while I’m at it.”

“Bee?”

“No, no, no, nott you, it’s a shower for me! But now that you mention it, I'll need to get you cleaned off as well." She would be a real idiot to let 'more than a head taller' Benjamin operate the showers himself.

‘But I am an idiot.’

The thought that had lingered at the back of her mind all this time finally lunged out to anchor itself on the edge of her conscience, and her hands reflexively clamped down on the thing being currently held in her hands: Benjamin’s back. The resulting squeal of pain made her hands jerk back like they were burned. “Oh fuck! I —!”

Many responses to her mistake tried to make their way out of her mouth but jammed in her throat instead, resulting in an undignified squeak escaping instead. Benjamin tilted his head, looking more concerned about her than the small strands of fur stuck to her fingernails. “I-I-I- Just—“

Her hands moved before she could speak (and embarrass herself more), shoving Benjamin straight into the bathroom. She stepped in afterwards, slamming the door shut. She just didn’t have to think about it for now, Angela told herself firmly, doing her best to ignore the frequent attempts made by Benjamin to comfort her. What was done was done. She did everything she could. There was nothing she could do about it now.

Angela allowed herself one more growl before she turned to focus all of her attention on the bewear, who suddenly poked his paw into her cheek.

“Ouch— Stop it!

=0=

“Alright, alright, alright. Alright. Alright. Alright, alr—“

Bonk.

“—Ow. Thanks for that.”

Angela rubbed the back of her head, vaguely realising that she accidentally fell into her old habit again. But that wasn’t the issue right now. Her assignment was done. Completely, 'there’s nothing left to do until tomorrow' done. She didn’t know what to do now, but she also had too many things to do. She didn’t know what to do first: bills, groceries, restocking film, laundry and many more chores clouded her mind.

She needed to think of something to get rid of this heavy feeling of disappointment that held her chest in its vice grip.

But at the same time, she couldn’t stay standing in one spot or else Benjamin was going to smack her on the head again. Annoyingly helpful behemoth. ‘Maybe... I’ll just buy some time for myself to think. Yeah.’

She took in a deep breath. “Hey, Benny. You feel up for a walk in the city today?” Angela asked over her shoulder (the bewear’s arm was already half-raised). There was a moment of silence that ensued, which made the following squeal all the more painful to the ears when Benjamin nearly bowled over her in his excitement. She held up her hands, eyes wide. “Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down there, I still need to see if you’re actually good to go.”

Barks and trills tumbled out of his mouth as Benjamin did his utmost best to assure her of his good health, but she wasn’t convinced until she grabbed hold of his arms to give the fresh set of bandagings one last look over. “... Alright. Alright, it looks fine to me,” she said, her fingers brushing over the bandagings absentmindedly. The clawed cuts hadn't reopened when she checked them in the bathroom, thank God, but the near heart attack she got wasn’t worth it.

Angela cleared her throat. “Okay, so you remember all the ground rules I laid out for being out of your ball?” She held up her fingers. “No wandering off, no running up to people, no hugging people except for me, no trying to carry and run off with me when there might be a threat...”

She paused for a moment, snapping her fingers until the last rule came to her.

“... and no fighting or battling.” Angela, already sensing a high-pitched protest incoming, held up a hand. “Completely no fighting. I mean it. You’re still injured! Remember, you need to get better by Saturday when Miss Amy gives me another job to do. I can’t very well fend off those nasty wild pokémon with my camera, right?” she said with a raised eyebrow.

There was a bit more grumbling and whining (which really hurt her ears) to be had, but eventually Benjamin gave a bark that sounded genuine enough. “Thank you,” she said pointedly, now turning to the front door. Next to it was a coat hanger from which a messenger bag and an instant camera hung. Angela grabbed the former and slung it across her shoulders, one hand grabbing the door knob as a series of mutters slipped past her lips. “Today’s Thursday, which means it’s... laundry day. Time is... five? Five. Five in the afternoon, which means people are gonna be using the laundromat. Which means...”

Both of them stepped out into the hallway, and Angela stopped for a moment to watch the elevator. Sure enough, it was in constant motion, indicated by the digital floor number gradually ticking up and falling back down to B1, where the laundromat was located. The elevator must be loaded with people right now, which made it a non-bewear-friendly mode of transportation. “We’re taking the stairs, buddy,” Angela said aloud, grabbing Benjamin by the paw before he could reply.

Down the hallway was a gray door leading to several flights of wide staircase, which was where she shoved Benjamin through before closing the door behind her. Angela let out a breath as she heard a set of footsteps pass by the door. "Alright, alright, alright, so far so good--"

The sound of footsteps started coming from somewhere upstairs. Oh. Not good. And to make matters worse, there was yet another set of footsteps floating down the hallway in their direction, effectively closing both routes. Her head whipped back and forth as indecision made her feet rooted to the ground.

'Where to go, where to go, where to go?' No, it didn't matter anyway, they were going to see Benjamin. Unable to see any other route to take, Angela was about to give up and recall Benjamin back into his ball (as much as he wouldn't like it) when the world unceremoniously tipped sideways, as did her balance. She yelped aloud. "Whoa! Benny, whatever you're doing, don't--!"

Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do being cradled in Benjamin's (still healing!) arms as he practically flew down the stairs one, two, three steps at a time. She flailed for one heart-stopping moment before she thought to wrap her arms around the bewear, anchoring herself as much as she could while being manhandled like this. She couldn't tell where they were with her hair being blown every which way; she could only pray that this wild ride would end quickly.

'Ohgodohgodwhywhywhywhywhy-- Whoa!'

The nauseating jostling finally came to a sweet, merciful stop. She vaguely heard chirps somewhere above her head, but she was too occupied with trying not to puke to respond immediately. "Ngh... N-not now, Benny..."

Only when did her vision stop spinning did Angela allow herself to roll out of his grip and onto her own two feet, and even then tremors kept running up and down her legs. 'Ugh...'

"Bee?" Benjamin trilled, pawing at her frozen face.

The sensation of bristly fur rubbing against her cheek finally managed to ground her back to reality. It also pointed her to the culprit, and her forehead creased into a scowl. "Benjamin! Benjamin, what the hell did you do that for?!" she hissed, relief flooding her. The only good thing that came out of this was that none of the residents had noticed them, at the very least.

"Bee."

Then it hit her. "... Ah."

Well, it was partially her fault Benjamin reacted that way. If she had made a move faster... Nah, nah, nothing she could do about it now. "Benny, I appreciate it, but give some warning beforehand, okay? You could've hurt yourself," Angela sighed. A chirp of equal disappointment met her ears. "No, no, I don't care if I'm light. I could've opened up your wounds back then, and then what? Huh?"

A pause; then a low keen that made her frown drop. She tried to maintain it for appearance's sake, but it was a futile battle. After a few deep breaths, her heart slowed down enough until she felt calm enough to say, "Hey, hey, don't need to look so down about it. You still did good; just promise me not to do it with no warning, okay?"

The weak compliment somehow did the trick. Benjamin clapped his arms with glee as he nodded vigorously, the twin tufts of first flapping with the motion, and Angela sighed. Crisis averted, at least for now. Now to get out of the apartment building before anyone took notice of the high-pitched chirping coming from— Wait.

“Benny, hush. Hush,” Angela said, clamping a hand down on his muzzle. His trills came to an abrupt halt, leaving the stairwell quiet except for a sharp ringing that came in intermediate bursts (so it wasn’t just the ringing in her ears, then). It was emanating from her bag.

Fishing out her phone, she accepted the call without a glance at the number and pressed it against her ear. “Hello, hello? Who is this?”

“Angela, this is Amy.” If it was possible for her stomach to reinstate the knots it was in earlier, it would be doing that now. “Did you get the pictures?”

Angela suppressed a wince. She could still feel the lingering urge to lie about the matter; an urge that she had to physically swallow down before answering. “Y-yeah. Yeah, I did. Why?”

Every second of the silence that ensued was another second closer to her heart seizing from sheer anxiety. “... Angela, are you alright? You sound like you just got done getting away from a pack of liepards,” Amy asked, light titters peppering her question.

“Well... W-well, that’s not untrue, but that’s not the problem here,” Angela sighed, sneaking a glance at the fidgeting bewear next to her.

“Then what is it?”

Another deep breath. “It’s, um... The picture, it's, it's not... good. I tried, but they're not quite the quality you were expecting?” she said haltingly, subconsciously bracing herself for the inevitable blow-up.

Silence.

The lack of response kicked her heart rate from 20 to 90 in one second flat as she practically squashed the phone against her ear. “Uh! B-but, but, I can figure something else out if I can get an extension on that deadline! Please! I’m really sorry about the screw-up, i-it was just an off day for me!” The growing silence only made her grip on the phone tighten, and her excuses flew wilder. “There were way too many wild pokémon out there, I couldn’t get a good shot! But! But, if I can have a little more time, I—“

Suddenly, a rumbling sound from the other end of the call cut off her excuses, and it took her five seconds to realise that it was laughter. “—Wh-what? Was it something I said?”

Another five seconds passed for the laughter to die down, although Angela could occasionally hear a snort or two. “Why are you freaking out so much? I never said that those photos were for a publication.” Then what definitely sounded like a chuckle could be heard from the other end. “As long as the subject is clear in the photo, it’s fine!”

“O-oh. Oh.” The pent-up pressure in her chest finally began to release somewhat. Unfortunately, it was exchanged for a battle between embarrassment and exasperation. “I... see. Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“Because you never asked,” came the teasing response. It was then that embarrassment won out.

“Right. Right, right, right. Right. So it’s not for any magazines or, or, an article. That’s... great.” Even though her mind was still struggling to catch up on the new information, one thing was made clear: she didn’t need to track down that shiny family again. A wave of relief washed over her at that moment, letting her shoulders slump forward, with a tiny nugget of emotion nestled somewhere in between that she wasn’t bothered to identify at the moment.

“That’s right! Just make sure to stick to the previous arrangement, got it?” Amy said.

“Right. You wanted to meet in front of my apartment building so that you can take me to go meet someone,” Angela recited from memory. She had assumed that it was a big shot photo editor that Amy wanted to introduce her to, but that theory had already been thrown right out the window. “You, uh, gonna tell me who it is?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow! I know you worked really hard on finding that venusaur pack, and I’m really proud of you! I’ll have to tell her all about you, she’ll be so excited to see you!”

Angela nodded along at her words, then stopped. “Wait, who are you talking—?”

Click.

A hum reached her ears, and she sighed. Great, Amy hung up on her. What was she supposed to do now...?

‘No, no, it doesn’t matter. Everything turned out fine. The photos turned out to be fine. Everything’s still going according to plan. I just have to hand them in tomorrow.

‘I just have to hand them in tomorrow...’


She should be happy, right? Well, she was, but she was also... what was the word...

Oh, yes. Frustrated. She was frustrated.

She shouldn’t be over the moon about this! The picture was still crap, and it was only thanks to Lady Luck that the quality didn’t matter. But if she did care, then it was more than likely that she would have kissed her part-time job goodbye...

As if sensing her sudden dip in mood, Benjamin released a quiet chirp and pulled her into a gentle hug. Angela tensed up, as was habit whenever the bewear decided to share one of its infamous hugs, but the tension was quickly dispelled. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” she grumbled, waving Benjamin off when he tried to hug again. “It’s n-no big deal.”

A moment’s hesitation, and she plastered on a toothy grin. “Come on, let’s just forget about the stupid photos,” she said, more to herself than to Benjamin. “We have lots to do today.”

=0=

The next day couldn’t have come faster enough.

Before Angela knew it, everything was done, both human and pokémon had a good night’s rest, and they were now standing outside the apartment building.

Well, only Angela was actually standing there, dressed in casual but comfortable clothes and her messenger bag, carrying essentials, the wanted photographs and a lonely pokéball. When she was informed that Amy would be fetching her, it was apparently by taxi, and that meant that all pokémon had to be confined in their pokéballs for the time being, much to the dismay of one Benjamin. It wasn’t like she liked it anymore than he did, even as she had returned him into his ball and stuck it inside her bag. He was the only thing that could effectively deter creeps and other annoyances from getting too close. That, and he was her only companion in this sprawling city.

At least she didn’t have to feel disappointed for too long; another phone call had come for her, and it kept her distracted for a good ten minutes until Amy arrived. “Angelaaa! Over here!” her voice called out, an arm waving from the window of a taxi.

“Coming!” Angela hollered over the city noise, and cupped her hand over the phone’s mouthpiece. “Angie, Angie, Angie. Angie! I can’t visit you now, okay? I’ve got work to do. No! No, no, no, I already told you that I can’t. Why are you even trying, anyway? I’m sure as hell neither of them asked for me to be there.” A male voice squawked something on the other end of the receiver, but it was quickly silenced with a press of the “end call” button. Angela frowned down at her phone, muttering, “Jeez...”

Stuffing the phone back into her bag, Angela jogged over to the open taxi door and easily slid into the vehicle, shutting the door behind her as she said, “Hey, so I wanted to ask you about this person from yes—“

The taxi had barely moved away from the sidewalk before Angela found her hands grabbed by a pair of brown ones.

“Angela! Where are the photos?” Amy’s voice was breathless like she had just run a 30-miles long marathon. No other greetings were offered, except for a hand squeeze that made Angela wince.

“R-right here. But I need my hands back to get it,” she said.

Amy jolted, looking down as if she had just realised she was keeping Angela’s hands hostage, and released them immediately after. “Oh, my bad. I just—”

“— Got excited, I know.” Angela raised an eyebrow. “Is something wrong?”

“Not at all! I just didn’t expect you to get the pictures at all,” she assured, holding her hands out for the photographs.

She didn’t receive them just yet, however, as a scowl overtook Angela’s features. “You didn’t expect me to? What, were you expecting me to screw it up?” she demanded.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean anything by it. Erm, I mean I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just, I didn’t expect you to—“ She paused as the taxi took a right turn. “—finish the assignment this quickly. I mean, we’re talking about shiny pokémon here. You know, the type of pokémon the general population hardly sees in a lifetime. It would’ve been completely understandable if you needed more time, you know?”

The scowl deepened. “It really wasn’t that big of a deal,” Angela muttered, keeping her gaze down as she hastily took out the photograph and shoved it into her waiting hands. Any desire to enquire about their destination was sufficiently squashed.

It was immediately snatched away, the photo editor poring over it like they were the world’s next magnum opus. Angela turned her head away towards the window to hide her grimace. She did her best to ignore the muttering that she couldn’t decipher, and instead focused her gaze on the passing scenery so intently that an ache began pulsing between her brows.

The rest of the taxi ride passed in a similar manner. Both passengers paid no mind to each other for most of it: Amy examining the photograph with very uncharacteristic fervor, and Angela mentally noting the change of scenery as the taxi continued to carry them across many streets and roads. The skyscrapers lining the streets of Castelia transitioned into the loud neon colours and rambunctious battles of the Nimbasa theme parks, then to the tranquil vastness that lay below them as they leisurely cruised along the Marvelous Bridge. They passed by plenty of people and pokémon alike, the friendly chatter barely audible over the sound of crashing waves. Not that she was bothered to try to listen, as her eyes started to glaze over when they reached the halfway point. Her thoughts soon wandered.

‘Wonder who Amy wants me to meet? Can’t be someone from her work, or else she would’ve told me right off the bat. Or would she?’ Angela frowned. She genuinely wasn’t sure. Amy was the most puzzling person she had ever met; the constant praises over nothing just proved that. ‘Then again, she does so many unnecessary things that it wouldn’t be any different. Wait, no, no, no, but it still doesn’t make sense. I know her coworkers, somewhat. She won’t try to hide it if it was one of them. But then it has to be someone I don’t know.’

The bridge’s little checkpoint came into view as the taxi drove through a tunnel leading to a distant city, its interior bathed in momentary darkness. With the conglomeration of voices significantly muffled now, she could hear Amy’s mutter, “... she’ll definitely like her sharp eye...”

Angela felt her heart flutter for a second, and she bit her bottom lip to suppress a smile. ‘Her sharp eye’? ‘That has to be me, right? She’s mentioned it before. It has to be me. But what does that have to do with anything, much less this “she”? Is it another assignment? But if it isn’t someone from her workplace, and she’s from... Black City? Is there anyone from Black City I know?’

... No, she still had no clue. She sighed, turning away when Amy gave her a puzzled look. At least she was one step closer to figuring it out, but now, Angela had no choice but to wait for Amy to spill it. She still didn’t like it, though.

The taxi finally rolled out of the tunnel, entering the city known as Black City by name. By appearance, well... “Christ, it’s like a bunch of BrightStaks someone glued together,” Angela muttered, eyes squinted in the harsh glare of the neatly lined, albeit sturdy-looking, buildings. It wasn’t just the lights that annoyed her, though. There was an assortment of noises that blended together, yet somehow could individually assault her ears and make her bones rattle, that emanated from the buildings they drove past. “How does anyone get any sleep here?”

“Hardly anybody, which makes it a good thing that nobody really stays in Black City,” Amy chuckled, apparently having finished examining the photographs. A finger pointed somewhere out of the window. “You see why?”

Why Amy couldn’t just tell her, she didn’t know. But Angela did her best to seek out the object of interest, eyes narrowed against the neon lights (‘How in the hell is it so bright? It’s in the middle of the day!’). It was difficult to make out, but she could barely see figures mingling at the base of the buildings, many having partner pokémon by their side. Massive, evolved partner pokémon. Pokémon that no beginner or intermediate trainers would have. Even as she watched, they entered and exited the BrightStaks buildings without a care in the world, when she herself got looks for letting Benjamin walk down a hallway. That would mean... “Experienced trainers,” Angela said out loud. “Ones that challenged the Elite Four?”

“Some of them did, yeah, but there are plenty of people who came here to just train or test their skills against the Black Tower.“ Amy had a weirdly goofy grin stretching from ear to ear. It was so genuinely out-of-character to see that it garnered a squint from Angela.

“You, uh… You okay?”

“Peachy.” Her hand was a blur as Amy patted her shoulder. “I’m just... very excited for you to meet this woman. You’ll like her, I promise.”

‘Huh. She’s been weirder than usual. And I still don’t know who she’s talking about,’ Angela glumly thought as the taxi finally — finally — pulled up beside the sidewalk. She scrambled out quickly (a mistake she immediately regretted when the din increased tenfold) and Amy followed her out after paying the driver.

From somewhere far off in the north side of Black City, there was an unearthly howl that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand. ‘Maybe... Maybe I should let Benny out when we’re out of this city before this place freaks him out...’

“First time here?” Amy chuckled.

“Yeah. Cities, uh, cities don’t really agree with me too much,” An unnerved glare was thrown over her shoulder when yet another animalistic scream sounded. “... Are you sure this isn’t some sort of cover for a criminal hideout? It sounds like they’re torturing someone up there.”

“It’s just a pokémon battle,” Amy insisted, wrapping an arm around her arm. “Anyways, her lab isn’t here. We have to walk to the forest just on the outskirts of Black City.”

The pressure that had been building up in her head threatened to burst out at that moment. She, she, she. Well, she just had enough of this nonsense! Who the hell was this “she”? If Gardner didn’t start explaining herself soon...

Amy turned as if she heard her thoughts, and the expression on her face made Angela’s demand for answers die in her throat. It was a smile, yes, but it was suddenly warped with another emotion that Angela couldn’t exactly identify. It made her hair stand on its ends again, though. “Come on, let’s get out of the city first. Everything’s making too much of a racket to hear anything, anyways,” Amy said, her tone oddly firm.

Angela suddenly found herself reluctant to argue. Amy did have a point, she rationalised, for the noise level was so high that even Benjamin could be drowned out. Seemingly taking her silence as consent, Amy guided her through the neon-lit streets and through a covered pathway that had a digital board boasting of a shinx — the hell was a shinx? — sighting in a route further up. The moment they stepped foot into the other side was nothing short of a blessing. It was the complete opposite of the terrifyingly loud Black City: trees of various shades and heights littered the vast land before them, the sunlight was gentle on her eyes, the sweet scents drifting in a gentle breeze washed away the city’s hazy smells, and most importantly, there was nothing but sweet silence.

“So can you now tell me who this person is?” Angela asked when she was able to tear her gaze away from the pretty sight.

Amy still had that crooked smile, and the hand on her elbow had tightened. Angela tensed. She wouldn’t call herself scared, exactly, but… the situation was starting to freak her out. “Okay, Angela? I need to explain something to you.”

‘You should have explained it thirty minutes ago!’ came the unhelpful thought, which she brushed aside. Maybe Amy was just trying to make it a ‘surprise’ for her. Granted, sometimes she adored the little surprises she had, and other times… not really. Angela somehow had a feeling that this situation was the latter. “Go on,” she prodded.

“Okay, so… The person I’m bringing you to meet is the founder of a company called Porter Co. She’s b-basically like a scientist? She invents things.” Amy’s explanation was jittery at best, but she still found herself understanding the gist of it. “And… Oh, how do I put this…?”

“Put... what?” A foreboding feeling tugged at her gut, but she still found herself accompanying Amy as they began to walk through the forest.

The inside was as peaceful as the outside, and the air was ripe with the sweet scent of berries and flowers. Benjamin would have liked to take a stroll here, she mused, but she didn’t want Amy to get interrupted by the bewear’s surely jubilant entry. She’ll let him out later. “So, I need you to promise me one thing.”

“O...kay. Okay. Um, sure?”

“I,” Amy started, putting one hand on her shoulder as if trying to stop Angela from running, “need you to hear her out. Don’t run away; just hear her out.”

‘Don’t... run?’

“What.” The word came out harsher than intended, and Angela almost wanted to bite back the word. But Amy’s constantly shifting gaze made that a non-option. “Why would I run, exactly? She’s just a scientist, right?”

“Because she’s, um... Well, she’s kind of maybe the kind of person you don’t really like?” Amy said hesitatingly.

“You just said I would like her!”

“I meant that you’ll like what she had to say!” she squeaked, her voice losing the authoritative edge as it grew increasingly flustered. “But it’s legitimate, I swear! Nothing illegal, she just needed your skills!”

More questions were on the tip of her tongue -- like what she meant by ‘a person she didn’t like’, and why would Amy assume that she would assume it was illegal -- but time seemed to slow for Angela at that moment. Her suspicion dropped almost instantly. “My... My skills? My skills?

“That’s right.” Her hands transferred from her shoulders to Angela’s own, holding them in a firm but painless grasp. “She wanted to explain everything herself, so just hear what she has to say. You trust me, right?”

Never mind time, space seemed to be folding under her feet now. The phrase ‘your skills’ wouldn’t stop echoing in her mind, and for one brief moment, her confusion and frustration was cleared away in one fell swoop. “Of course I do,” she said happily, returning the hand squeeze.

“Great, then we can’t waste anymore time. Let’s go!”

Wait. Wait, hold on, hold on. Angela instantly lost her smile after that. Did she... just agree to it without a second thought? What was she thinking--

‘She needed your skills.”

… Her smile came back, albeit most hesitantly. ‘Maybe it won’t be too bad.’

They certainly didn’t waste anymore time; Amy half-dragged, half-guided Angela up an inconspicuous dirt path that snaked through the forest, not letting go until they found themselves in front of a too rectangular, too bright, too clean building. No, a laboratory, if the comment about ‘a scientist’ was anything to go by. It stood even higher than the trees did, and was painted a vivid, yet bland white, made more blinding by the glaring afternoon sun above them. It was nothing impressive... almost deceptively so. And with the laboratory’s location being smack dab in the middle of the woods, it was almost like they were trying to hide something.

“Welcome to Porter Co.,” Amy announced as she swept her arm out half-heartedly. “She’s waiting inside, so let’s not keep her waiting.”

Angela still had her (many) misgivings, but she was forced to leave them outside as she was led into the building— laboratory. The interior was just as orderly as its exterior; there were circular panels in every corner of the laboratory she could see, some dull in colour and others brightly-lit (they were familiar, but Angela couldn’t put her finger on why). Machinery, containing pokéballs of various makes, sat next to computers that hummed away as several people in lab coats scurried left and right like patrats, most of them clutching clipboards in their hands.

Some of them were women, but they weren’t so much as glancing in Amy and Angela’s direction. Angela glanced around. “Er, so where’s this person you wanted me to—?”

“Welcome!”

Angela let out an undignified squawk as someone seemingly popped into existence right next to her. It was a bespectacled woman wearing a lab coat like everyone else, with a wild, frizzy ponytail and an even wilder grin that made her take an automatic step back. One hand was reaching for the pokéball in her bag, but the woman was faster with her words and actions. “My name is Madeline Yap, and you must be the woman with the fluffy hair Miss Gardner mentioned! Come, come!”

The lingering bits of trust she had in Amy died the moment she was grabbed.

This Madeline woman had a grip like iron. If Amy was dragging her earlier, this woman was practically manhandling as she dragged Angela up a set of stairs, and towards an intricate ring-shaped machine that made all of her senses scream in alert.

“Will you wait a second-- Ow! What do you even want with me?!” Angela hissed, prying herself free and taking several wide steps back..

Madeline came to a stop, too. “Did Miss Gardner not tell you?” she asked with her head tilted, seemingly unaware of Angela’s increasingly defensive posturing.

“You said you wanted to explain it yourself, right?”

She snapped her fingers. “That’s right! Thank you for the reminder. You, Fluffy Hair!”

‘My hair isn’t that fluffy.’ The pressure that had lessened during their leisurely stroll through the forest was coming back hard. Angela rubbed her temples. “I’m... My name is Angela. Angela. Not... whatever you just said.”

“Angela, then! I have a favour to ask of you!”

… Would it be poor form to refuse it without hearing her out?

Madeline’s grin somehow resembled the liepards’ from yesterday, before Benjamin got clawed wide open. “How would you like to be the first...”

She took a pause seemingly for dramatic’s sake, and Angela threw a look of desperation over her shoulder. Amy gave her an unhelpful thumbs-up.

“... to travel to a world where pokémon are its sole inhabitants?”

Angela’s head snapped back. ‘World with pokémon’? No, ‘world with only pokémon’. What? What? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Who the hell was this Madeline, anyway? Wasn’t she brought here because of a ‘favour’? What was--?

“Angela?”

The one word cleanly sliced through her train of thoughts, sending them crumbling into nothing as she stuttered out loud. She couldn’t get any of her questions out; the best she could muster was a not-too-intelligent-sounding:

“What?”
 

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
  9. celebi
hey there! I remembered seeing Angela's signup in Blacklight and being like, what?? buneary?? but with a camera??? and she can copy things? It sounded like a really interesting idea and I was excited to see how you'd flesh it out in a longer story!

I really liked this as a first chapter, too. Part of it is because the concepts are so dang adorable or relatable -- a bewear that gives hugs, cool things about photography, being anxious about disappointing your boss. This chapter really excels at establishing your characters are fun, relatable people who have their own struggles and personalities, and while I think that's (sometimes?) an unorthodox take for PMD where the human gets poofed in, I really liked having this chapter to set up Angela as a human before we get Angela as a pokemon/maybe a buneary. Will some of these conflicts appear again? I don't know but I'm super interested in finding out.

I also like the conflicts you set up here. They're mostly small-scale, mundane things, but they feel really vivid for Angela, so they make for a compelling opener. I felt for her when she was like "hmmm maybe I can pretend my bear ate my workwork so I don't have to disappoint my boss", and I really liked how you showed her uneasy relief -> guilt/shame even after she learned that her photos didn't have to be perfect. That sequence was relatively short wordwise, but it told me so much about Angela and how she views herself. Really good stuff.

She recognised it as the one from a batch she had bought recently, just for the bewear. The berry was thrust into her hands, and despite herself, Angela melted a bit at the sight. “Aw, Benny..."
Awwwww what a sweetheart! <3

It was immediately snatched away, the photo editor poring over it like they were the world’s next magnum opus.
I think it should be "like it was the world's next magnum opus" to stay in line with the rest of the sentence.

“That’s right, no money for us! No money means no food, no house, and no treats for you.”
I love that she tries to explain economics to her bewear! On one level it's funny because bears don't really need economics (but they do like treats! treats are very important), but it's also very sweet of Angela to try to walk him through these concepts in terms that he'll understand better. I get the feeling from this that she's likes to explain rather than fight/command, and I'm curious to see what kind of adventures that puts her in!

Madeline’s grin somehow resembled the liepards’ from yesterday, before Benjamin got clawed wide open. “How would you like to be the first...”

She took a pause seemingly for dramatic’s sake, and Angela threw a look of desperation over her shoulder. Amy gave her an unhelpful thumbs-up.

“... to travel to a world where pokémon are its sole inhabitants?”
Oh right! I got so immersed in Angela's humanworld struggles that I forgot this was PMD for a sec, haha. This seems like a neat way to get her into the pokemon world. Is this like an extension of the Dream World, sort of? Pokemon BW introduced so many crazy concepts and never really took them anywhere.

And like! I'm definitely satisfied reading this, but there are a lot of unanswered questions for later, too. Why Angela and her specific set of skills? Will Benny be okay??? What are the scientists trying to accomplish here? What's a pokemon world like, and what would Angela's world think about the implications of pokemon being able to form their own societies? I like that there are these plot hooks hanging now, and I'm interested in seeing more!
 

Negrek

Abscission Ascendant
Staff
Hey, glad to be able to check out your writing here! Super quick note before I get started on the review proper--you don't have to worry about putting together a chapter list for your story! If you click the "add threadmark" link at the bottom of your chapter, you'll get a window that prompts you for a label. Enter "Chapter 1" or whatever chapter title you like, hit "Save," and the board will automatically generate an index with links to each chapter for you.

Anyway, the story! I'm loving the premise here. It's so rare to see mystery dungeon fics where the protagonist is sent to the pokémon world for some reason other than to save it. I'm really interested to see how things play out once Angela arrives. I'm guessing that she's going to be trying to document what she finds there, which seems like it'll give you a lot of opportunity to chase down fun aspects of the mystery dungeon world simply because Angela would need to take a picture of them. And Angela is honestly a mess, so I can only imagine how she's going to handle getting pokemonified and dumped in a completely different world.

I'm deeply curious as to whether Ben's going to be going with her, too. It's super rare to see a "pokémon world" pokémon get sent to the "pokémon-only" world, and it'd be great to see how Angela and Ben's relationship would change once they're there. Like, would Ben be able to talk, and how would that change his dynamic with Angela? How would he react to a world without humans? Of course, he might also get left behind, which would be a shame. It definitely wouldn't be good for Angela, since from what we've seen so far it's clear how much she relies on him... I think having to go without him, especially on top of all the other strange things she'd be dealing with, would be devastating for Angela. Whatever you decide to do with Ben, I think it'll give you some fun opportunities. He's been a huge part of the story so far and is the most fun aspect of the first chapter, I think.

I also really love the focus on photography here. In pokémon fanfic you rarely see emphasis on professions outside of "trainer," so it's neat to see how a mundane profession can change when pokémon are in the mix. It makes a lot of sense, too; wildlife photography is a pretty big thing in this world, and when the wildlife are as magical and expressive as pokémon, I can only imagine there'd be even more enthusiasm for it! Angela's fraught relationship with her art, her dissatisfaction with her pictures weighed against the fact that she really needs a paycheck, brings a different perspective to the table than what we usually see from PMD protagonists. Some of what she goes through feels a little too #relatable to me as a writer, heh. I like that we get a very strong impression of Angela's personality and motivations even just from this first chapter.

I'm guessing that Angela won't have amnesia once she enters the pokéworld, which makes her past in the human world a lot more relevant than it is for many PMD protagonists. It makes sense to see a bit of that human-world life before chucking her into the pokémon world, then. However, this first chapter felt a little long to me. Like I said, I know what's coming, and at some point I'm kind of just waiting to see how Angela's going to end up in the pokéworld. It's hard to tell what from this chapter is going to end up relevant to the story as a whole--I imagine Angela will communicate with Madeline throughout her journey, for example, but will Amy appear again? If there are elements in this chapter that don't end up mattering much to the story overall, I think it might be a good idea to consider removing them. This is a meaty first chapter at 7500 words or so, and by the end Angela hasn't even gotten turned into a pokémon! The section where Angela and Amy arrive in Black City, we get a description of it, and then they walk to the lab, for example, make me wonder whether we're ever going to actually visit Black City again except maybe as a quick transition. Seems unlikely? Cutting sections that aren't going to have much significance to the larger narrative would let you focus in more on things that matter, like Angela's relationship to Ben or to her photography, and let you get to those mystery dungeons all the faster.

Overall I'm liking this spin on the usual Mystery Dungeon formula. Really curious to see where this is going--what exactly Angela's going to be expected to do while in the pokéworld, and what kind of problems will inevitably arise when she gets there. Good luck with your writing!

Angela only realised something bad was going to happen when a familiar whine somehow teleported next to her ear, but the thought to just move didn’t occur until she was suddenly crushed against a fuzzy body.
It's a bit odd to say that a whine *teleported* anywhere. Something like "whine sounded next to her ear" would sound more natural.

It depicted a typical venusaur family nesting together; typical except for the shimmering, lemon yellow hide of what she assumed to be the leader of the pack, as well as several of its younglings.
You don't want a semicolon here because "typical except for the shimmering..." isn't a complete sentence. An em dash would probably work well here, or you could get away with a comma.

Nevertheless, it was all she needed to know.
All she needed to see, maybe? She isn't "knowing" Ben's beady eyes.

She did everything she could.
*she had done

Angela rubbed the back of her head, vaguely realising that she accidentally fell into her old habit again.
*she had accidentally fallen

There was a moment of silence that ensued, which made the following squeal all the more painful to the ears when Benjamin nearly bowled over her in his excitement.
*bowled her over. The person "bowled over" is the one getting knocked down, which isn't Benjamin here.

Barks and trills tumbled out of his mouth as Benjamin did his utmost best to assure her of his good health, but she wasn’t convinced until she grabbed hold of his arms to give the fresh set of bandagings one last look over. “... Alright. Alright, it looks fine to me,” she said, her fingers brushing over the bandagings absentmindedly.
*bandages

A wave of relief washed over her at that moment, letting her shoulders slump forward, with a tiny nugget of emotion nestled somewhere in between that she wasn’t bothered to identify at the moment.
I'm confused by the "tiny nugget of emotion nestled somewhere in between" part of this sentence. In between what?

Great, Amy hung up on her.
Amy *had hung up

The next day couldn’t have come faster enough.
*fast

“Angelaaa! Over here!” her voice called out, an arm waving from the window of a taxi.
A person calls out, not their voice. I'd put either "Amy" or "she" here rather than "her voice."

“It really wasn’t that big of a deal,” Angela muttered, keeping her gaze down as she hastily took out the photograph and shoved it into her waiting hands. Any desire to enquire about their destination was sufficiently squashed.

It was immediately snatched away, the photo editor poring over it like they were the world’s next magnum opus.
A bit of weirdness in the pronouns here. In "Angela muttered, keeping her gaze down as she hastily took out the photograph and shoved it into her waiting hands," "her" actually refers to *Angela*, as in "Angela's waiting hands," which clearly isn't what you want. I think it would be most clear to simply use Amy's name there. Then in the second part you want "it was" the world's next magnum opus, since the picture being refered to is singular.

There was an assortment of noises that blended together, yet somehow could individually assault her ears and make her bones rattle, that emanated from the buildings they drove past.
Would love to know what assortment of noises!

A finger pointed somewhere out of the window.
Did you mean "A finger pointed at something out of the window?" "Somewhere" really doesn't make sense here to me.

From somewhere far off in the north side of Black City, there was an unearthly howl that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand.
*stand up

“Yeah. Cities, uh, cities don’t really agree with me too much,” An unnerved glare was thrown over her shoulder when yet another animalistic scream sounded.
She lives in Castelia, though, right? Or does she live there despite hating it?

Here you want a period at the end of your dialogue, not a comma. What's being said is a complete sentence, and it's being followed by an independent sentence rather than a dialogue tag--so you end it with a period like any other sentence. It's a bit weird for the second sentence to be in the passive voice, too. Any reason not to say "She threw an unnerved glare over her shoulder?"

It was the complete opposite of the terrifyingly loud Black City: trees of various shades and heights littered the vast land before them, the sunlight was gentle on her eyes, the sweet scents drifting in a gentle breeze washed away the city’s hazy smells, and most importantly, there was nothing but sweet silence.
Heh, unless the forest is supposed to be magic, I don't think you can just walk a few hundred yards from the extremely noisy city and get silence.

She’ll let him out later.
*she would
 

cynsh

full-time quilava
Location
Deepden
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. quilava
Interesting. Can’t say I’ve seen many PMD premises that start with the character still as a human. Or where the character seems to voluntarily accept their fate as a pokémon. OR where, presumably, Angela won’t get amnesia snapped either!

Still, plenty of questions to be answered about what this pokemon world is, its relation to this trainer world, how they’re getting there and so on. Leaving those up in the air gives plenty of incentive to keep reading!

If I was to make one complaint, it was that not a lot actually seemed to happen for the chapter’s length. A lot of the first half of the chapter was spent with Angela and Benjamin effectively fooling around – though it does do a good job of characterising them. In fact, I'd say that the characterisation is one thing that really came through - your use of dialogue, gestures and such is great!
Also, Angela agonises over these photos not being good enough, only for that to (seemingly) not matter at all. So, theory time: Benjamin is going to be zapped into this pokémon world too, and he and Angela will form the hero-partner dynamic. Why else would he have gotten so much characterisation? :quag:

Now some quotes, because I looooove nit-picking prose. Sorry in advance.

shone through flimsy, lilac curtains in slim slivers
You've got a tendency to use an extra word or two in narration that's unneeded. 'Slim slivers' is really piling on the slimness, for example. Another example is the word 'just'. It's easy to slip in, but you used it 42 times in the chapter 😅 Something to keep in mind in future.

Angela noticed that his movements were more... ginger than usual
I get what you're saying, but 'ginger' doesn't actually carry the same meaning as 'gingerly'. English, don't we love it?
Fishing out her phone, she accepted the call without a glance at the number and pressed it against her ear. “Hello, hello? Who is this?”

“Angela, this is Amy.”
The whole 'who is this' felt really unnecessary when she could just, y'know, look at the phone. Would save a couple of lines here.
The resulting squeal of pain made her hands jerk back like they were burned. “Oh fuck! I —!”
The tone was so lighthearted up to this point that the sudden F-bomb - the only one in the chapter, no less - made me jump a little. It feels a bit misplaced given it only results from a cry of pain.

- 'Nott you' and 'faster enough' are a couple of typos.


“Coming!” Angela hollered over the city noise, and cupped her hand over the phone’s mouthpiece. “Angie, Angie, Angie. Angie! I can’t visit you now, okay? I’ve got work to do. No! No, no, no, I already told you that I can’t. Why are you even trying, anyway? I’m sure as hell neither of them asked for me to be there.” A male voice squawked something on the other end of the receiver, but it was quickly silenced with a press of the “end call” button. Angela frowned down at her phone, muttering, “Jeez...”
For one, I'm not sure what the purpose of this paragraph was - I guess it helps characterise Angela a bit, but there's enough of that elsewhere. And as for what happened - presumably Angela was talking to someone called Angie? That name choice is just asking for confusion 😅. It also made me wonder: Angela, Amy, Angie, Benjamin... any reason why so many names are so high up the alphabet?
It was the complete opposite of the terrifyingly loud Black City: trees of various shades and heights littered the vast land before them, the sunlight was gentle on her eyes, the sweet scents drifting in a gentle breeze washed away the city’s hazy smells, and most importantly, there was nothing but sweet silence.

This was nice! Plenty of nice descriptive words to set the scene. This was something you did very well - just, it could occasionally be toned down a little, like I said.
 
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