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Pokémon In Beta

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
  8. meganium
(The following was third-place winner in the serebii Kanto One Shot contest. It's very out of my element, but I'm proud of how well I did despite this. I'll rate it Teen for... uh... whatever I just rate everything Teen to be safe. There are some unsettling themes, I guess.

This is very different from the stuff I usually write! In that, eh, there's actually a human involved, and is even the central character! But there's a cute Growlithe, too, at least. I think for people who are familiar with my usual work, this might come off as a slight surprise. But it might also give a similar vibe to my Special Episodes for Hands of Creation, so it won't be completely out of left field. Writer has to have a style somewhere, right? Anyway, let's get on with it...)

<><><>

A software developer finishes a revolutionary endeavor in artificial intelligence: Project Porygon. But as with all beta projects, there are small problems and bugs here and there, but what's the harm in that? It's only a robot.

<><><>


In Beta


Just get it done. You can fix it later.

The air was like blankets that day. Closed windows made of white, metal, flimsy blinders blocked as much light as the employees could manage. Still, despite this, pinpricks of blistering sunlight plagued their cubicles. It was the harshest time of the day. It was also a convenient time for the air conditioning to shut off for most of the building in favor of dedicating to the server room. It was the end of the week, where most workers went home, and most employees could pat themselves on the back for a job well done.

For Silph Co., that was not the case. Not today.

Evan’s dark blonde hair stuck to his forehead. The pits of his white shirt were gray with sweat. Next to him, Growlithe was rolling on his back, panting with oblivious joy. Of course he’d enjoy the sweltering heat. Evan gave Growlithe a bitter look, but it softened only a second later. He reached down and gave him a little scratch behind the ears. This got him excited; Growlithe sprang up and barked a few times, startling a few of the half-asleep developers.

“Shh, shh,” Evan said.

Growlithe whined and nibbled on Evan’s shoes.

Software developers were used to these demanding schedules, and the same went for the engineers. Crunch time, they called it. Deadlines from executives that didn’t know how programming worked. Dev Ops had pulled an all-nighter the day before when one of the servers crashed for some inexplicable reason. So, it was understandable that their lead—a scrawny man in khakis and a T-shirt—leaned his back against the wall, snoring.

“Poor Ted,” Evan mumbled, pulling his feet away from Growlithe. “Heard his wife was pretty upset that he’s spending more time here than there.”

“What, like we aren’t?” asked another dev in the cubicle opposite of him—while they had their own spaces, the “walls” that separated them were only a few feet high. To encourage cooperation, their manager said. It only caused distractions. “Ugh, this heat is killing me. You sure that slobber-brain of yours isn’t causing it? Maybe inherited Overheat from those monsters you call his parents?”

“I’m sure.” Evan sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’ll get my code checked in right away. Did you review Dale’s?”

“Yeah, yeah, I reviewed it. Dale, you got them?” He fanned his face, but that just made more hot air waft over him.

“Fixing that line now,” Dale said. “And how about you, Paul? Eh?”

“I’m done with mine. Get on my level.” Paul smirked.

Dale and Evan both rolled their eyes, though they smiled back.

Growlithe tore off Evan’s right shoe and bolted. Evan was too tired to give chase. He coded for the next hour with one foot wearing only a white—gray, now, technically—sock.

Evening bled into the night. Growlithe had snuggled up against the Dev Ops Lead’s thigh for a nap. Two of the senior devs left for coffee and never came back. Their manager had been gone for a long time, and only said that he wanted to see it finished before they left. They weren’t really sure what that meant, as they had no means to contact him if he was out of the office, nor any knowledge about how they would show their results, either.

It was just the beta, so they just had to get a full test completed.

“Can’t we just go and finish this on Monday?” Dale complained.

“Sure, if you want to get fired,” Evan mumbled.

“Hah! Fired. That’s a good one. Who’re they gonna replace me with?”

Dale had a point. They were the top of the top—irreplaceable, as far as Kanto was concerned, for their knowledge in the cutting-edge of artificial intelligence and software engineering.

“If anything, I’d say the help desk would be the first to go,” Dale said.

“C’mon, they get the busywork out of the way.” Even briefly stopped his typing to glance at his coworker—one of only two that remained with him. “What, would you like to deal with customers instead?”

“Hmph, whatever,” Dale said, grinning. “I guess you’ve got a point. Hey, so did you check in your code yet?”

Evan brushed the hair off of his brow and shut his eyes. “No, I’ve been busy talking to you. Can I just finish?”

“Sure, finish,” Dale raised his arms. “Paul?”

Just about done,” Paul said, leaning back. He spun his red cap around his head a few times, watching the computer do all the work.

“What, it’s compiling?”

“Just gotta make sure the tests all check out.”

“You can’t run the full thing, though. Your computer doesn’t have the power.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just gonna do the unit tests. There, see? It already passed five hundred of ‘em.”

“Out of fifty thousand,” Evan moaned. “Ugh, and I have to wait for that, too, don’t I?”

“One thousand,” Paul said, tossing his hat in the air. He jerked his head back to catch it, losing his balance instantly. His rolling chair tipped over and he slammed into the ground with a hard wump!

Growlithe jumped to his feet and barked incessantly. This woke up the tiny giant, Ted, and he stumbled to his feet. “What’s going on? What—what day is it?”

“Friday night.” Evan gave one final click of the mouse and got out from his seat to chase Growlithe down. “Hey, Growlithe! Where’d you put my shoe?”

Growlithe howled, running up and down the halls. Every time he got close to Evan, he stopped abruptly and slammed his paws several times on the ground, then ran away again.

“Ughh, he just wants to go home,” Evan groaned. “We can’t, little buddy! Not until we get this code wrapped up!”

“It’s passing all the unit tests,” Dale remarked, leaning over his cubicle wall to take a look at Evan’s screen. “Good thing, too. Maybe we’ll all get to go on vacation after—oh.”

Evan hated that tone. “Let me guess,” he said, not even looking back. “It failed a test?”

“Yeah. Not sure which one, though. Too many.”

Evan groaned, rubbing his forehead. “What’s one test gonna do? We have to try it out anyway. He wanted a prototype, and that’s what we’re gonna give him. We can work out the beta bugs for this dumb robot, no problem.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Dale said, watching the screen. “I mean, when you get down to it, two errors out of fifty thousand isn’t so bad. Like, what’re three errors gonna do? I’ve seen code with way more than just five error—”

“You can stop, Dale,” Evan growled.

Unit tests complete: 52 out of 57,639 tests failed. The number irritated Evan, especially for how enigmatic it was. 52. Just one of those bugs could be days of work. And after that bug was finished, for all he knew, it would just give way to three more bugs that it was covering up! Evan felt his heart rate increase just thinking about it.

Growlithe barked on the opposite side of the hall, pounding his paws on the ground.

“Let’s just start it up. Ted, you mind getting the computers all configured?”

“Sure. Evan, you go and set up the terminal to try user input tests. I’ll get everything else ready.” Ted rumbled away.

Evan sighed, but then looked around. Paul was missing. And his water bottle was gone, too. “Deserter,” he mumbled. The clouds parted outside and moonlight streamed through the cracks of the windows. The heat of the afternoon was long gone, replaced instead by an eerie silence.

“I guess it’s about time that I get started,” Evan said. “Dale, do you want to watch this? I bet it’d be pretty cool! After all these years of—Dale?” Evan looked back, only to see Dale releasing his Abra. In a flash of light, they vanished from the office. “Whatever. Just me and Ted, then.”

Growlithe barked.

“And you, little guy.”

<><><>


The server room was frigid. While Silph was normally very kind toward its employees—especially their developers—ultimately, the top priority was the servers, and when they were expecting a heavy load, extra energy was always diverted toward keeping the servers cool. Environmental laws prevented them from just taking in river water, cooling the server nodes, and dumping the simmering water back into the supply. They had to spend extra energy cooling the water before it could be properly released.

The final day of that madness was today, at least until they had some time for respite while their manger buttered up the execs with their findings and illusions of progress. For every unit test, for every compile of Project Porygon, the supercomputer was set to work, running as many of those tests and as many of those tasks in parallel as possible. It still took far too long. But now, they finally had some idea of a light at the end of the tunnel: A full-application test.

Evan was surrounded by servers. Shelves upon shelves of little blinking lights and featureless blocks of silicon and plastic. Growlithe was outside, intolerant of the chilling temperatures inside the supercomputer’s rooms, though Evan certainly wished he’d be there to keep him warm. His fingers were numb. His nose felt like a solid block of ice. His ears were in danger of falling off. Evan was almost positive he saw fog escape his mouth with every exhale. Each breath he took stung his lungs until he adjusted to the frigid temperatures. “Should’ve brought a coat,” he said, teeth chattering.

“Everything’s ready,” Ted announced. Evan couldn’t see him—he was on the other side of the shelves, checking wires and cluster statuses.

“Great. Let’s get this done.”

Muffled barks from Growlithe struggled past the window glass. Evan glanced back and saw the little guy jumping for brief glances through the window. He stretched his paws out and blindly pawed at the glass, whining.

Evan smiled slightly. “I don’t wanna keep him waiting.”

Evan’s finger hovered over the final key. All he had to do was press enter, and the program would launch.

“So,” he said, “Ted, everything’s good?”

“Yeah, all good. Even the problem cluster is behaving. For once.”

“Okay,” Evan said, but his finger didn’t move. The failed tests bugged him. What would that mean for Project Porygon? It was just going to be a robot AI, but something about it bugged him. The code felt… different, after a while. More complex. Sometimes it felt like it changed itself when he wasn’t looking, like the little twitches of an embryo of zeroes and ones.

Evan shook his head. That was silly.

Still…

“Hang on, Ted.”

“C’mon, man, I’m freezing my fingers off, here.”

“Just hang on. I need to make a call, okay?” He dug through his pockets—lingering for the warmth—and pulled out his phone. His manager was always on call if something went wrong, but was it too late? Evan noticed that his phone showed 8:34 PM. He shook his head, the weight of his eyelids doubling. He dialed.

He was probably going to take Monday off.

“Evan? What is it?” the phone buzzed.

“Hey, Jack, about Project Porygon—we have everything up and running, but—”

“You do? That’s great! Oh, Evan, that’s great. I’ll tell the higher ups right away. Is everyone else there with you?”

“Ted’s here, but everyone else left after they finished up. I just have to hit Enter, and—”

“Great, perfect! And how about your Poké Ball? Is it all ready? Make sure you have a bunch, just in case! It may be a robot, but its signature should still be like a Pokémon if it all goes right.”

“Yeah, they’re all here, but—”

“Great! So, you’re gonna do it, right? I think if this all goes off with some results, they’ll forgive us for being three months behind, you know?”

What he didn’t mention was that they were three months behind after four reschedulings.

Evan gulped. “Yeah. Okay. Got it.”

“Perfect. Call back and tell me how it goes, okay? I—”

Something screeched on the other side of the phone. Evan recognized it as Jack’s Pidgeotto.

“Ugh—gotta go, Evan. Call me back!” Disconnected.

Evan shut his phone and looked back at the console terminal. The cursor blinked rhythmically.

Evan@Silph.Co: ~/Projects/Porygon$ sh “poryLaunch.sh”

Evan stared for a while. He could always come back on the weekend and patch out a few of those bugs. Make it a little better. But at the same time, he’ll never be able to finish them all off at once. And what program wasn’t without a few bugs? This was just the beta. Jack needed to see results—he had a feeling all of Silph was going to grill him with a thousand Magnemite if they didn’t show something by next week.

“Just get it done, Evan,” he mumbled. “You can fix it later.” That was just the job. This was no different, right? Cutting edge technology didn’t come without a bit of bugs here and there, and they had all the precautions in place in case something went wrong. Countless ravings from Dale about “AI taking over the world” or “killer robots started at Silph”—mostly in jest—had scared Jack into having them program a kill switch in all beta builds. But really, wouldn’t the terminal’s kill command be just as good? Whatever made the boss man happy, he supposed.

“Evan, did you hit enter yet or not?”

“Right, sorry—just had to double check something. I’ll do it.”

Evan wasn’t sure if his finger was shaking because of the cold or some ghostly anxiety. But Ted was waiting on him.

Growlithe whined, puffing little embers into the air to get his attention. He was also waiting. He had to stop hesitating.

“Okay. It’s starting.”

The terminal filled unceremoniously with line after line of commands, launching the program, setting up files, checking resources. There were a few simple prompts for him to fill out, which Evan didn’t think much of. Most of them were simple customization options, like language preferences and names. Feeling a bit whimsical, he put down ‘Hope’ for the nickname. After that, it went on its merry way. Evan didn’t know half of what it did—this portion was Paul’s work, but it only worked on dummy code until now. If only Paul stayed to tell me if this was going right.

Evan squinted at some of the alert lines. “Did Paul… leave in a typo?”

RUNNIGN: PORYGON Launcher

RUNNIGN: RAM checker

RUNNIGN: Poly Builder


“I can’t believe he missed that,” Evan said. “Is he serious?” Still, messages went faster than he could read them. He could only see the prefixes—all the programs running in tandem like some strange, hyper-speed dance.

Growlithe scratched at the door, howling into the corner. It haunted Evan. A cold, icy feeling filled his gut, and he didn’t think it was because of the air conditioning. In fact, it was starting to feel a bit warmer on his skin.

ERROR: “poryTex.png” is missing or has been corrupted.

ERROR: “poryDictionary.txt” is missing or has been corrupted.

SUCCESS: “poryGrammar.bin” has been loaded.

NNNNNNNNNNN


“Uhh—” Evan blinked. “What?”

“What?” Ted asked.

“Hang on. Let me work on it,” Evan said.

Corrupted characters filled the screen. “Did Paul forget to terminate a string?” Evan said frantically. “Uhh—uhh—Ted!”

“What? Should I kill the server?”

“No, don’t—let me try something first. Just a bit of—”

Evan held two keys in an effort to terminate the program. It didn’t respond. Evan held a different pair of keys and tried to kill the program instead. It didn’t respond.

“Server’s running hot,” Ted spoke up.

“Is the cooling chamber working?”

“This is with the cooling chamber.”

“Okay, okay, hang on.”

Evan quickly opened up the task manager and searched through the running programs. He spotted it. End process.

There was a pause. The entire computer froze for five seconds. Even the cursor was frozen. Evan held his breath. Please, just end it. This was a mistake. Forget getting it done. This was wrong. Something was wrong.

And then it continued. The process ended. Evan realized only then that he had been breathing hard, and he heard his heart in his ears. Slowly, his pulse normalized. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, it’s—it’s over. I’ll just call Jack, and—"

“Servers still running hot.”

“What?! But I ended the—”

The terminal had a message on it.

PORYGON successfully loaded. Happy birthday! :^)

He recognized the emote as one of Paul’s creations. A small smile twitched at the edge of his mouth and his pulse returned completely to normal.

Then, another message appeared.

Hello?

Evan stared. Growlithe whined on the opposite side of the door, pawing at the door again.

“It’s okay, Growlithe!” Evan said shakily.

“Evan, what’s going on?!”

“Hang on,” Evan said.

He typed into the terminal. Hello.

Instantly, it replied.

Where am I?

Evan’s heart was in his head. In a computer. Who are you?

Where am I?


Evan blinked. Did it miss the last entry? In a computer. Who

Evan couldn’t finish. The computer spoke again.

pory -h

pory -H

pory --help


They hadn’t programmed a help command.

Do you need help? Evan typed.

Y

Evan nodded. I can help. What do

pory --kill

pory --quit

pory -end


Evan frantically typed, What are you doing?

Porygon didn’t respond.

“Evan, what are you doing back there!? These things are gonna shut off if you keep this up! Even the hard disks are going haywire—this thing’s a virus or something!”

“I—I’m not doing anything! It’s talking to me!”

“Talking? What do you mean, talking?!” Ted speedily walked around the server shelves and peered over Evan’s left shoulder. “It’s actually talking to you? Through that?”

“It needs help,” Evan said. “I think it wants to get out.”

“It’s pory dash-dash-out,” Ted said.

“Okay.” Evan quickly typed in the command. pory --out

Nothing happened.

“Ted?” Evan asked.

“It was last time we tested it!”

“We could never run that command in full until now, though. What if it’s just processing in the background?”

pory --HELP

“Why is it asking for help?”

“That’s just it making a command to the manual that doesn’t exist,” Evan said. “I think it’s trying to figure out how to release it. Ted, just go and find the manual. I know I printed it out, so it’s at my desk.”

“Okay.”

Seconds after Ted left, Evan realized the room was starting to feel warm. His stomach was in knots. What if this was his fault? Paul’s tests all passed. Dale’s probably did, too. But his had errors. Did he cause this?

Evan went back to the terminal, sighing. “Okay, so we have a Porygon that’s a little lost.” Don’t worry. We’re finding the command to get you out now.

Specify: out.

The real world.

N


Evan tilted his head. You don’t want to go out?

pory --kill


And it kept typing that, over and over.

Evan hesitated. “Teeeed!” he raised his voice.

“What?” Ted’s muffled voice sounded through the glass.

“Maybe we shouldn’t release it! I think we actually did make a killer robot!” Evan paused, his brief, frantic thoughts making way for something more rational. “Wait. Kill. That’s not the shell command for killing people, that’s—”

“Made a what?” Ted called back, nudging Growlithe out of the way to slip back into the server room without the little Pokémon sneaking inside.

“Never mind,” Evan said. “We need to get that thing out immediately.”

“Why?”

“It’s trying to terminate its own program.”

pory --quit

“Why?” Ted said. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

The failed tests and twitching code flashed in his eyes. “Let’s get it out,” Evan said. “What’s the command?”

Porygon had fallen silent, but the servers were still running hot. The whole room felt like it was running hot.

“It’s pory dash-dash-releaseFINAL2. Capitals on FINAL, and the number—”

“Why was it written like that?!”

“I—I don’t know!”

Evan frantically typed into the prompt.

pory –relesefiNAL2

“No, no, you forgot to—”

“I KNOW I DID!”

pory --releaseFINAL2

The entire computer froze again. A distressing, buzzing noise sounded on the opposite side of the room. Ted sprinted over. “Running REALLY hot right now! What’s going on? Why is it taking this much power?!”

Evan frantically pressed two keys again, trying to terminate the program. “We’ll just disconnect everything,” he said. “Just—just take out the server Porygon’s in, and never turn it on AGAIN, okay? TED?”

“Okay, OKAY, let me—”

Sparks of electricity arced over the air and onto the ground right next to Evan. The developer stumbled backward and landed on his rear, grunting when he hit the tiled floor. He stared at the thing that materialized before him. Growlithe slammed into the door, trying unsuccessfully to break in.

It wasn’t a Porygon.

It was a jumbled mess of angular shapes that didn’t form a single coherent prism. Polygons jutted out in random directions, bumping against the ground with loud, screeching, grinding noises. It was a random assortment of reds and blues, but Evan also saw a single, white hexagon that was supposed to be its eye, but the black dot for its pupil was not there. Instead, it was on a separate, semi-formed block of red. The black dot twirled around the block in silence, and the mass of triangles twisted and contorted for what felt like an eternity.

And then it screeched. It was a mixture of the static of a television, the grinding of metal on metal, and the wail of a soul that shouldn’t exist. Evan scrambled away and bumped his hand against a small Poké Ball near him. Empty. His head was ringing. Was he screaming? Evan couldn’t hear himself. He couldn’t even hear his thoughts. He grabbed the Poké Ball, not knowing what else to do, and tossed it at the thing.

It bounced against one of the many triangles. Before the Poké Ball even had a chance to pull it in, the mess of polygons violently exploded in a flash of light. The shockwave blasted the nearest servers and shoved them back a few inches on the shelves; stray pieces of the corrupted Porygon’s solid form pierced through Evan’s one remaining shoe and his wet sock. Thankfully, none of them seemed to cut up his feet. Unfortunately, one piece slashed his cheek, leaving a small cut. Ted dived behind another shelf of the servers, avoiding the blast entirely.

Growlithe was emitting a sound that was a strange mixture of a bark and a scream on the opposite side of the door. Evan could barely hear it. All he heard was a high ring and a deep pulse. Blood ran down his cheek. He winced when he felt for the source. His fingers ran over a shallow, long wound. Shakily, he stood on his feet.

Ted peeked out from behind the servers. “I—I’ll check the logs.” He was working on autopilot; Evan felt the same. The shock left him completely numb; he couldn’t believe what happened, and chose not to. Maybe it was heatstroke. There wasn’t a trace of the mess left, after all. No, the servers were just fine. It wasn’t as if there were three of them toppled over, no. Evan didn’t see that.

He moved to the other side of the servers. The room was cooling down. But Evan was still hot.

He staggered to the terminal. It wouldn’t respond to any of his interactions.

“What…?” Ted said.

“What?” Evan asked. He couldn’t steady his fingers enough to type into the terminal anyway. His hearing came back enough to hear Growlithe’s soft whines.

“These logs are insane,” Ted went on. “It’s a bunch of file change logs, and then a compile command, and then… Evan, were you trying to fix the code live or something? What did the robot do? H-how did it…?”

“I was just staring at the screen the whole time,” Evan said. “What do you mean?” Evan glanced at his screen again. “Ugh, the thing is frozen. I can’t do anything.”

“Server’s running a little warm, actually,” Ted said, “but I don’t get—”

“Hang on,” Evan said. He saw it again.

RUNNING: PORYGON Launcher

“The typo’s fixed,” Evan mumbled.

He didn’t see any errors this time. He watched, line by line, every operation the script took. Ted, seeing that the servers were not running dangerously, stepped away from the shelves and went to Evan’s side, looking over his shoulder for the second time. Seconds became minutes; Evan didn’t know what was going through Ted’s mind, but the fact that he was so quiet, his jaw tense, suggested that he was also in numb disbelief.

How were they going to explain this to Jack?

Porygon successfully loaded. Happy birthday! :^)

“No…” Evan shook his head, eyes wide. It started again. Another life created just to die. “We—we have to destroy this server. Ted?”

Ted blinked a few times, but then shook his head. “Uhh, I’m not gonna get in trouble for that,” he said. “I need this job, thanks.”

We have to destroy it,” Evan said, turning toward him.

Ted gulped. “Y-you’re kinda giving me a crazy look right now, Evan. It’s just a robot, remember? Just terminate the program and we’ll report the log—”

“That thing isn’t supposed to exist.” Evan swung his arm in the servers’ general direction. “It was a mistake to think we could program life on a schedule. Forget deadlines. This shouldn’t have even started.”

Ted and Evan stared each other down. “It’s just a job, man,” Ted said. “What even happened? We made a scary robot. It glitched out. But we got it done, right? Now, we can fix it.”

The embryonic code flashed in Evan’s mind again. No, some strange magic had gotten into the system somehow. He didn’t know what it was, or why, or how, but at some point along the way, they created something much more than binary.

“That wasn’t just a robot,” Evan said. “Didn’t you hear it scream? That was a life. And it existed in pain. It lived for only a few minutes, and then it died. I’m—I’m not doing that again. No. I—”

Hello!

He saw it in the corner of his eye.

Ted followed Evan’s gaze, the servers running silent, even Growlithe.

“I think it wants to talk to you.”

Evan stared at the terminal. The knot was forming in his gut again. “Fine,” he said. Hello.

Is this EBrigg_WorkSpace_PC409?


Evan shook his head. Yes, it is. My name is Evan.

Hello, Evan! My name is PORYGON!


“It’s… it’s fixed,” Ted said. “Evan, the logs—Right before we did the command to release it, there was a unit test. Everything passed.”

A new numbness washed over Evan. He was supposed to feel relieved, wasn’t he? He should. It fixed itself. They created something that fixed itself, and Project Porygon looked like it was going to be a complete success. Hello, PORYGON. Are you okay?

Checking status… No errors reported.


“Hey, look, it even does a self-diagnosis! You guys coded something really clever, didn’t you?” Ted grinned, patting Evan on the back. “H-hey, you look like you saw a ghost! C’mon! Maybe it was just a cache issue with the first robot. C’mon, let’s show it to Jack. Release it!”

Evan didn’t do anything. He forgot to blink.

“Uh, Evan? You’re starting to scare me a little.”

Hello? Porygon said. Seeking terminal access: Y/N

Ted gently nudged Evan aside. Y

Porygon typed next.

pory --releaseFINAL2

Electricity arced over the servers again; Evan gasped and shut his eyes. He covered his ears. He didn’t want it to happen again. It was going to be a jumbled mess of—

Evan’s phone rang. He looked down, opening his eyes briefly. And then he saw it, right in front of him. And it was… normal. A Porygon, as they had designed.

Porygon made an odd, tweeting noise, but then flinched, flailing its little prism limbs. Its polygonal eyes lowered in an embarrassed twitch, and then made another tweeting noise. Puzzled, it tried again, and again, but then made a gesture of sighing.

“Guess the communication module needs some work. But maybe that’s for the best. I dunno if I can deal with talking Pokémon. This thing’s a Pokémon, right?”

Growlithe barked; Porygon perked up, turning toward the door. It pecked at it, tweeting again. Growlithe replied happily; Porygon seemed pleased, its levitating body bobbing happily.

“Oh, never mind. Guess it’s just for talking to other Pokémon.”

Evan looked at his phone again. Jack. What if he just let it ring? Still, whatever lingering sense of duty he had toward the job made him answer.

“Hey,” Evan said.

“Hey, so how’d it go?”

“It went fine. Porygon is floating right in front of me.”

Proygon curiously rubbed its beak on one of the servers, trying to converse with it. When the new life got no reply, it grew bored and tried to communicate with the next one. Apparently this one was more attractive, as he began trying to peck affectionately at the box.

“That’s great, Evan. Perfect! Did you capture it?”

“No, I’ll have it captured right now, but it’s friendly, so that’s all working.” He nodded at Ted, who grabbed a Poké Ball.

“Hey, Porygon!” Ted said, holding up the ball.

Porygon’s eyes flashed in recognition, perhaps some preinstalled data, and floated toward him.

He tossed it to Porygon. The polygonal Pokémon obediently entered, shook a little, and with a mechanical click, it remained still.

Jack cheered, “Perfect, Evan! You got it done. Are there any issues?”

Evan hesitated. He couldn’t leave the dead air for long—Jack would just interrupt him, as he always did—so he went with the truth. “There were some. But we got it done, and it got fixed right after. But—”

“Proud of you, Evan. I’ll be sure to give you a raise for all your hard work! We’ll get going on the upgraded model next! Once I take a look at it myself, of course, and ooh, can you imagine how pleased the execs will be? Oho, I need to bring you along for it, Evan! Imagine that! You were the lead programmer for this whole thing, after all, no matter what anyone else said. This is all you! But once that’s over with, I bet Porygon2 will be a homerun.”

Evan didn’t say anything. That was right. That was the next project. Another—how long would it be, this time? And how far past the deadline will they push it? How many hours of overtime, failed tests… and… short lives, created and killed? This was just one. What about the next? What if it didn’t somehow fix itself? What happened to that poor, broken Porygon from before? Where did it go? Or was it just… gone?

Jack was saying something, but he heard none of the words.

Evan walked out of the server room; Ted remained behind to inspect the damaged computers, grumbling about ordering new ones. Evan didn’t care. Growlithe tackled his legs, tearing off his other shoe. The little Pokémon ran and grabbed the other shoe—he had stashed it behind a potted plant—and waited, tail wagging, by the elevator door.

He pressed the button and waited, remembering that he had a phone against his ear. The elevator opened, Growlithe hopping inside with Evan’s shoes.

“Are you still there, Evan? Hello? Is this thing—”

“I quit.”
 
Last edited:

kyeugh

you gotta feel your lines
Staff
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. farfetchd-galar
  2. gfetchd-kyeugh
  3. onion-san
  4. farfetchd
  5. farfetchd
i bumped into this one-shot while crawling through the fanfiction forum in search of something new to review for the event, and was pretty surprised to find that no one had gotten to this yet! it seems totally up my alley, so i figured i'd give it a shot. from the get-go, we're put into the shoes of evan, a silph co. programmer. we've seen programmer characters in canon before, such as bill, bebe and cassius, but it seems like a pretty under-represented area in fanfic. i think the porgyon programmer idea has a lot of untapped potential in general, and i'm a web developer by trade myself, so the setting here feels all too familiar. :p
Growlithe tore off Evan’s right shoe and bolted. Evan was too tired to give chase. He coded for the next hour with one foot wearing only a white—gray, now, technically—sock.
this is a cute line! pokémon fill a lot of roles in their world, but because pokémon fics focus so heavily on training and whatnot, we don't often get to see them being cute, goofy pets like this. however, the "gray, now, technically" cut in reads a bit awkward, and in general i've noticed a few cases where you sort of insert phrases or fuse sentences where they're probably better off restructured, like here:
“What, like we aren’t?” asked another dev in the cubicle opposite of him—while they had their own spaces, the “walls” that separated them were only a few feet high.
it seemed sort of odd to me that you connect these two bits with a dash rather than just keeping them conventionally separated. not really a glaring issue but something i noticed a few times that sort of disrupted the flow, so something to think about perhaps. for the record, your prose is squeaky clean though. as i said of HoC, you've got a real knack for immersing the reader in your world immediately.

“If anything, I’d say the help desk would be the first to go,” Dale said.
lol, this hits close to home. i'm a web developer officially, but my desk is situated near the help desk, so when they're getting slammed they usually lean on me for extra help. i feel you, dale. shit's tough.
“It’s passing all the unit tests,” Dale remarked, leaning over his cubicle wall to take a look at Evan’s screen. “Good thing, too. Maybe we’ll all get to go on vacation after—oh.”

Evan hated that tone. “Let me guess,” he said, not even looking back. “It failed a test?”

“Yeah. Not sure which one, though. Too many.”
i really like that you describe evan's reaction to dale's tone rather than describing the tone outright. say what you will about show don't tell, but this is what it looks like when it's done right imo. also, i love that he just ran the tests praying it would pass them all without thinking far enough ahead to figure out how to tell which test it failed in the event that it did fail one. classic programmers.

thoughts on this first portion: writing about computers is hard, mainly because clicking around on shit is a really hard thing to make interesting through writing even if it can be interesting in real life, if only because it's so abstract. it can fall victim to sounding over-technical as well, but you do a great job at conveying that there's some Computer Stuff going on, even describing the development process and unit tests, without making it feel dry. by focusing on the social, team-based aspects of it, you turn a technical and arguably dry activity into a dynamic social interaction, which held my attention fairly well. props to you for that. the growlithe was also a cute little touch that added some spice to the scene, although i'll admit that the implications of its lack of a name had me chuckling a bit. how many people just don't name their pet pokémon? is it the same as just naming your dog "Dog"? truly a debate for the ages. anyway, moving on...

Evan was surrounded by servers. Shelves upon shelves of little blinking lights and featureless blocks of silicon and plastic. Growlithe was outside, intolerant of the chilling temperatures inside the supercomputer’s rooms, though Evan certainly wished he’d be there to keep him warm. His fingers were numb. His nose felt like a solid block of ice. His ears were in danger of falling off. Evan was almost positive he saw fog escape his mouth with every exhale. Each breath he took stung his lungs until he adjusted to the frigid temperatures. “Should’ve brought a coat,” he said, teeth chattering.
being cold is a pretty common experience that is written about quite a lot, so it's hard to describe it in more detail than "it's cold" without sounding trite, but you do a pretty good job at engaging the reader with the description here. in general, being in a server room is an experience that not everyone has had, and you capture the feeling of it quite effectively and succinctly.
The code felt… different, after a while. More complex. Sometimes it felt like it changed itself when he wasn’t looking, like the little twitches of an embryo of zeroes and ones.

Evan shook his head. That was silly.

Still…
uh oh... the sinister experience of having multiple people edit a codebase! jk, but this is actually a pretty interesting direction to take porygon as a concept if it's going where i think it is.

“Great, perfect! And how about your Poké Ball? Is it all ready? Make sure you have a bunch, just in case! It may be a robot, but its signature should still be like a Pokémon if it all goes right.”
this is cool. once again, this is a bit that another writer might explain explicitly, maybe through evan's thoughts or just outright in the narration, but it feels more ingrained when it's coming from another character in an organic manner.
Evan stared for a while. He could always come back on the weekend and patch out a few of those bugs. Make it a little better. But at the same time, he’ll never be able to finish them all off at once. And what program wasn’t without a few bugs? This was just the beta. Jack needed to see results—he had a feeling all of Silph was going to grill him with a thousand Magnemite if they didn’t show something by next week.
this is such a realistic debate, and it does a good job at (i assume) laying the groundwork for what will inevitably go wrong here. many programs do have bugs, especially In Beta (wonk wonk), but when it's a living creature... this should be interesting!
Countless ravings from Dale about “AI taking over the world” or “killer robots started at Silph”—mostly in jest—had scared Jack into having them program a kill switch in all beta builds. But really, wouldn’t the terminal’s kill command be just as good? Whatever made the boss man happy, he supposed.

“Evan, did you hit enter yet or not?”

“Right, sorry—just had to double check something. I’ll do it.”

Evan wasn’t sure if his finger was shaking because of the cold or some ghostly anxiety. But Ted was waiting on him.
there's something perfect about the image of this dopey low-poly duck as the harbinger of the endtimes.

the strange behavior the program exhibits once he finally executes it is really cool. it almost has the energy of a horror movie, in some sense; we build up to the moment of truth with all this anxiety and uncertainty, and when it finally fires, there's just something wrong. it eventually comes back clear, and evan is satisfied for the moment, but we're left with this odd, lingering feeling of offness. surely that malfunction meant something and will come back up, right? really good dramatic buildup here.

moving forward, the porygon's initial confusion and then rapidfire cries for help and borderline-suicidal release amid the servers going haywire... it's really haunting. i wasn't expecting that kind of vibe from this story, but i should have seen it coming, and you pull it off masterfully. the fact that it's trying to interface with itself through terminal commands is pretty interesting, and the sense of desperation you evoke through just that series of commands is impressive. the character's dialogue seems pretty nonchalant when compared with my own feelings about the events that are unfolding, but i guess they were probably prepared for it, and it's good at keeping the story from feeling too creepy or dire. i guess this is kind of similar to the ebb and flow of gravity that i described of your writing in my HoC review, huh?
Evan frantically typed into the prompt.

pory –relesefiNAL2

“No, no, you forgot to—”

“I KNOW I DID!”
oh my god, same.
It was a jumbled mess of angular shapes that didn’t form a single coherent prism. Polygons jutted out in random directions, bumping against the ground with loud, screeching, grinding noises. It was a random assortment of reds and blues, but Evan also saw a single, white hexagon that was supposed to be its eye, but the black dot for its pupil was not there. Instead, it was on a separate, semi-formed block of red. The black dot twirled around the block in silence, and the mass of triangles twisted and contorted for what felt like an eternity.

And then it screeched. It was a mixture of the static of a television, the grinding of metal on metal, and the wail of a soul that shouldn’t exist. Evan scrambled away and bumped his hand against a small Poké Ball near him. Empty. His head was ringing. Was he screaming? Evan couldn’t hear himself. He couldn’t even hear his thoughts. He grabbed the Poké Ball, not knowing what else to do, and tossed it at the thing.
christ, this is chilling. with this in mind, i guess your initial idea was "what if they fucked up porygon during the development process big time," and worked backwards on the rest of the plot from there? this is a genuinely compelling concept, since from the in-game lore we know that porygon kind of transcends being an ordinary machine, and you sort of poke at that earlier on with the reference to its self-editing code... then we get its frantic, desperate show of emotion in the terminal, and it culminates in the release of this horrific abomination that should not have ever been brought into being. its very existence is anguish, and you reveal that to us with a delicate and deliberate buildup... overall a really well-executed take on a very interesting concept. but i guess we're not done yet!
“That thing isn’t supposed to exist.” Evan swung his arm in the servers’ general direction. “It was a mistake to think we could program life on a schedule. Forget deadlines. This shouldn’t have even started.”

Ted and Evan stared each other down. “It’s just a job, man,” Ted said. “What even happened? We made a scary robot. It glitched out. But we got it done, right? Now, we can fix it.”

The embryonic code flashed in Evan’s mind again. No, some strange magic had gotten into the system somehow. He didn’t know what it was, or why, or how, but at some point along the way, they created something much more than binary.

“That wasn’t just a robot,” Evan said. “Didn’t you hear it scream? That was a life. And it existed in pain. It lived for only a few minutes, and then it died. I’m—I’m not doing that again. No. I—”
excellent bit here. it feels a bit like the thesis of the story. once again, super compelling stuff.
Proygon curiously rubbed its beak on one of the servers, trying to converse with it.
ope, this should be *Porygon.
“Are you still there, Evan? Hello? Is this thing—”

“I quit.”
oh man, what an ending. from the reader's perspective, we know that the development of porygon2 and porygon-z are eventually successful, so it really makes you wonder just what goes into their creation, especially given how the much more simple porygon was nearly such a nightmare.

anyway, i kinda gave my thoughts about this as i read it, so i don't have loads more to say, but at any rate i'm really glad i found this one-shot. it touches on some real-world issues regarding AI in a nuanced and genuinely inspired way, and the writing itself is so easy and engaging to read. your writing has just the right amount of detail and imparts hard-hitting information without dawdling on it for too long, perfect for a one-shot like this. the themes get heavy without getting too heavy, if that makes any sense, and in general the skillful writing here makes me really optimistic about catching up with HoC. aside from a few clunky sentences in the beginning that i pointed out, this one-shot is so polished it shines, and the fact it has something to say makes it all the better. super solid stuff here, here's to seeing more like it in the future!
 

Pen

the cat is mightier than the pen
Staff
Partners
  1. dratini
  2. dratini-pen
  3. dratini-pen2
Hi Namo, I'm here for Catnip. Thought I'd check out your porygon oneshot, because, porygon!

I could tell you were having a lot of fun with the workplace, disgruntled dev setting. You definitely caught the vibe of exhausted employees being asked to push things through that aren't really ready and the cheerful obliviousness of their higher-ups. All the cut-off conversations with the manager and the moment when, after all that work, Paul had left in a typo made me chuckle.

Character-wise, Evans didn't end up super defined for me. He's nervous about the porygon test, but other than that I didn't get too much of a sense from him and sometimes I'd lose track of where the narration was when a lot of the devs were talking.

Background pokemon are always fun, and I saw how you were using Growlith as a way to externalize some of Evans' feelings. I did think the Growlith references became a lot, without too much pay-off. Growlith's basically a dog here. It's kind of an interesting contrast in a fic that's about a computer-pokemon gaining sapience.

Once the corrupted porygon sequence started up, things moved fast. Evans' helplessness was both upsetting and almost funny: he's relegated to watching code fly across a screen. There was a lot of pathos in the porygon asking to be killed, and its happy talk at the end only made that more disturbing. I see how the porygon ultimately fixing itself without their help, while interperted by everyone else as a good thing, is the final nail in the coffee for Evan. He made the mess, because they made him rush, and he couldn't even fix it himself.

The story skirts around the edges of the big questions of sapience and life, and we get some of Evans' reflections that this is a 'magic' beyond his grasp. Ultimately, the end of the story feels more grounded in Evans' dissatisfaction with how his workplace is being run and what's being asked of him. With that focus, quitting makes for an appropriate note to end on.

Closed windows made of white, metal, flimsy blinders blocked as much light as the employees could manage.
I realize this fic is already several years old, so I won't spend too much time on prose, but this early sentence threw me. It makes it sound like the window itself is made of white, metal, flimsy blinders, rather than, as I assume to be the case, flimsy blinders are over the window.

Evan’s dark blonde hair stuck to his forehead. The pits of his white shirt were gray with sweat. Next to him, Growlithe was rolling on his back, panting with oblivious joy. Of course he’d enjoy the sweltering heat. Evan gave Growlithe a bitter look, but it softened only a second later. He reached down and gave him a little scratch behind the ears. This got him excited; Growlithe sprang up and barked a few times, startling a few of the half-asleep developers.
The descriptions here in particular felt very mechanical.

Software developers were used to these demanding schedules, and the same went for the engineers. Crunch time, they called it.
It's a bit odd here how "crunch time" seems to be presented as special tech lingo--I think 'crunch time' is a pretty common phrase.

Two of the senior devs left for coffee and never came back.
Ominous . . .

They were the top of the top—irreplaceable, as far as Kanto was concerned, for their knowledge in the cutting-edge of artificial intelligence and software engineering.
This felt a bit unconvincing. Something about "the cutting edge" makes it feel like this is being narrated by someone not actually in this world.

The final day of that madness was today, at least until they had some time for respite while their manger buttered up the execs with their findings and illusions of progress.
*Manager

Growlithe scratched at the door, howling into the corner. It haunted Evan. A cold, icy feeling filled his gut, and he didn’t think it was because of the air conditioning. In fact, it was starting to feel a bit warmer on his skin.

ERROR: “poryTex.png” is missing or has been corrupted.
It's a little odd that Evans gets this ominous feeling before there's any sign of things going wrong--it had the effect of lessening the impact of it when things did start to go wrong, because the reaction had already happened to some extent?

“Wait. Kill. That’s not the shell command for killing people, that’s—”
The implication that there is an specific shell command for killing people that is not kill, and Evans knows this, killed me.

It wasn’t a Porygon.
What does he think a porygon would be? My sense was that this is the first test run they've done for this concept, so it doesn't seem like they'd have much to compare it to? Unless other companies have already been making porygons and they're trying to replicate that?

“Hey, Porygon!” Ted said, holding up the ball.

Porygon’s eyes flashed in recognition, perhaps some preinstalled data, and floated toward him.

He tossed it to Porygon. The polygonal Pokémon obediently entered, shook a little, and with a mechanical click, it remained still.

Jack cheered, “Perfect, Evan! You got it done. Are there any issues?”
This scene felt oddly perfunctory. If porygon are programmed to go into balls, it feels weird to treat this like a capture scene. Maybe that weirdness could be something else that Evans feels.

No, some strange magic had gotten into the system somehow. He didn’t know what it was, or why, or how, but at some point along the way, they created something much more than binary.
Interesting to see 'magic' is what Evan lands on to describe this.
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
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He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, bet you didn’t expect to see me here, huh? Or then again, maybe you did if you were paying attention to a couple Discord servers. Can’t say if I’ll make it to a few chapters of HoC before RB4 ends even if it’s a goal, so I figured I’d make sure I got some sort of foot in the door beforehand, and a fellow rare bird of a story that dovetails programming with Pokémon’s setting seems right up my alley there.

Just get it done. You can fix it later.

This is at once so relatable as a thought process and such an antipattern as a programmer. Since “fix it later” has a frustrating tendency to turn out to take significantly longer than just knuckling down and opting for “get it done properly".

The air was like blankets that day. Closed windows made of white, metal, flimsy blinders blocked as much light as the employees could manage. Still, despite this, pinpricks of blistering sunlight plagued their cubicles. It was the harshest time of the day. It was also a convenient time for the air conditioning to shut off for most of the building in favor of dedicating to prioritizing the server room. It was the end of the week, where most workers went home, and most employees could pat themselves on the back for a job well done.

I mean, glare from sunlight has always sucked in general for dealing with computer displays. Short of creative positioning such that the monitor blocks the sun while seated, this is just life as a desk jockey.

For Silph Co., that was not the case. Not today.

Evan’s dark blonde hair stuck to his forehead. The pits of his white shirt were gray with sweat. Next to him, Growlithe was rolling on his back, panting with oblivious joy. Of course he’d enjoy the sweltering heat. Evan gave Growlithe a bitter look, but it softened only a second later. He reached down and gave him a little scratch behind the ears. This got him excited; Growlithe sprang up and barked a few times, startling a few of the half-asleep developers.

Oh, so the Growlithe’s Evan’s “rubber duck”, huh? Though it’s always seemed only natural to me that the practice would be common among Pokéworld’s programmers. Since hey, when you can choose between a rubber duck and an actual fire pupper, fire pupper wins every time.

“Shh, shh,” Evan said.

Growlithe whined and nibbled on Evan’s shoes.

Software developers were used to these demanding schedules, and the same went for the engineers. Crunch time, they called it. Deadlines from executives that didn’t know how programming worked. Dev Ops had pulled an all-nighter the day before when one of the servers crashed for some inexplicable reason. So, it was understandable that their lead—a scrawny man in khakis and a T-shirt—leaned his back against the wall, snoring.

I mean, some industries let you get away with avoiding these moments better than others as a techie, but yeah. This is pretty true to reality minus the pupper munching on one’s shoes. Especially when something breaks unexpectedly on you at some god-forsaken hour in the morning that needs to be fixed before bad things™ start happening in short order.

“Poor Ted,” Evan mumbled, pulling his feet away from Growlithe. “Heard his wife was pretty upset that he’s spending more time here than there.”

Sounds like some horror stories I’ve heard of employees going through crunch in the video game industry.

Turns out that 70+ hours a week at the office for months on end is murder on relationships. Who knew? /s

“What, like we aren’t?” asked another dev in the cubicle opposite of him—while they had their own spaces, the “walls” that separated them were only a few feet high. To encourage cooperation, their manager said. It only caused distractions. “Ugh, this heat is killing me. You sure that slobber-brain of yours isn’t causing it? Maybe inherited Overheat from those monsters you call his parents?”

Hey man, at least you have proper cubicles instead of having an employer that fell for the “open office” meme or else cut your cubes’ “walls” down to six inches in height. To say nothing about places that have turned to hotdesking.

Definitely a sign of the relative times for when this story is set, since in [current year+8], these assumptions increasingly can’t be taken for granted in office work.

“I’m sure.” Evan sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’ll get my code checked in right away. Did you review Dale’s?”

“Yeah, yeah, I reviewed it. Dale, you got them?” He fanned his face, but that just made more hot air waft over him.

“Fixing that line now,” Dale said. “And how about you, Paul? Eh?”

Paul: “... Aren’t we supposed to be writing unit tests to catch these sorts of things?”
Evan: “Paul, we’re in the middle of crunch right now. Again, just focus on getting something that works right now!”
:what:


“I’m done with mine. Get on my level.” Paul smirked.

Oh, so Paul really would be the type of employee to just go “bruh, just write some unit tests” to his co-workers in the middle of crunch time, huh? :V

Since he gives off that sort of “programmer who knows his stuff and his best practices, but is an obnoxious dick about it” vibe.

Dale and Evan both rolled their eyes, though they smiled back.

Growlithe tore off Evan’s right shoe and bolted. Evan was too tired to give chase. He coded for the next hour with one foot wearing only a white—gray, now, technically—sock.

Evan: “Well, so much for having a rubber duck to help step through these modules with.”
:gardexhausted:


Evening bled into the night. Growlithe had snuggled up against the Dev Ops Lead’s thigh for a nap. Two of the senior devs left for coffee and never came back. Their manager had been gone for a long time, and only said that he wanted to see it finished before they left. They weren’t really sure what that meant, as they had no means to contact him if he was out of the office, nor any knowledge about how they would show their results, either.

I presume that this is set in some era before office IM started catching on, since the opposite problem is a lot more common nowadays.
:fearfullaugh:


It was just the beta, so they just had to get a full test completed.

“Can’t we just go and finish this on Monday?” Dale complained.

“Sure, if you want to get fired,” Evan mumbled.

“Hah! Fired. That’s a good one. Who’re they gonna replace me with?”

Project Head:
doug-maclean-doug.gif

Dale: “Oh, so now you wake up, huh?” >_>;

Dale had a point. They were the top of the top—irreplaceable, as far as Kanto was concerned, for their knowledge in the cutting-edge of artificial intelligence and software engineering.

That actually makes me wonder if ChatGPT-style chatbots have a much bigger role in internet searches relative to reality in Pokéworld. Since if AI in that setting is advanced enough to flatly make artificial lifeforms, it has wild implications for the other AIs that would be present in the background.

“If anything, I’d say the help desk would be the first to go,” Dale said.

“C’mon, they get the busywork out of the way.” Even briefly stopped his typing to glance at his coworker—one of only two that remained with him. “What, would you like to deal with customers instead?”

“Hmph, whatever,” Dale said, grinning. “I guess you’ve got a point. Hey, so did you check in your code yet?”

Evan:
compiling.png

Dale: “Yeah, no. It shouldn’t take that long, Evan. Check again.”
:unimpressed:


Evan brushed the hair off of his brow and shut his eyes. “No, I’ve been busy talking to you. Can I just finish?”

“Sure, finish,” Dale raised his arms. “Paul?”

Just about done,” Paul said, leaning back. He spun his red cap around his head a few times, watching the computer do all the work.

Kek, they really are doing the ‘compiling’ comic from XKCD there.

“What, it’s compiling?”

“Just gotta make sure the tests all check out.”

Evan: “You know that you can skip those with a flag, right?”
:joltyshrug~1:

Paul: “Evan, we’ve been stuck here at the office for how many hours at this rate? Just sit tight and let the damn tests run instead of having to hunt down failures later!” >_>;

“You can’t run the full thing, though. Your computer doesn’t have the power.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just gonna do the unit tests. There, see? It already passed five hundred of ‘em.”

>only doing unit tests and no integration tests on a WIP AI
>a WIP AI that’s going to be entrusted with elemental abilities that could easily trash large chunks of the office they’re in if something went wrong

de7.png


I swear, you three are going to wind up inadvertently creating Skynet or something cutting corners like this.

“Out of fifty thousand,” Evan moaned. “Ugh, and I have to wait for that, too, don’t I?”

“One thousand,” Paul said, tossing his hat in the air. He jerked his head back to catch it, losing his balance instantly. His rolling chair tipped over and he slammed into the ground with a hard wump!

Evan:
7f6.gif


Growlithe jumped to his feet and barked incessantly. This woke up the tiny giant, Ted, and he stumbled to his feet. “What’s going on? What—what day is it?”

“Friday night.” Evan gave one final click of the mouse and got out from his seat to chase Growlithe down. “Hey, Growlithe! Where’d you put my shoe?

>implying you still have a shoe after leaving it unattended with a dog for a full hour

Growlithe howled, running up and down the halls. Every time he got close to Evan, he stopped abruptly and slammed his paws several times on the ground, then ran away again.

“Ughh, he just wants to go home,” Evan groaned. “We can’t, little buddy! Not until we get this code wrapped up!”

Dale: “Evan, don’t you have a Pokéball for him or something? If he’s getting restless, you could just recall him for a while.”
:what:

Evan: “I… might have left it behind at home before I came to the office today?” ^^;

“It’s passing all the unit tests,” Dale remarked, leaning over his cubicle wall to take a look at Evan’s screen. “Good thing, too. Maybe we’ll all get to go on vacation after—oh.”

Paul: “Dale, that’s why you don’t say stuff like that before everything passes!” >.<

Evan hated that tone. “Let me guess,” he said, not even looking back. “It failed a test?”

“Yeah. Not sure which one, though. Too many.”

Evan: “...”
:uhhh:

Dale: “Just saying, this is why we didn’t just skip the unit testing, Evan.”
:gardexhausted:


Evan groaned, rubbing his forehead. “What’s one test gonna do? We have to try it out anyway. He wanted a prototype, and that’s what we’re gonna give him. We can work out the beta bugs for this dumb robot, no problem.”

Evan, don’t make me break out Bubsy again. Even if I understand the temptation here.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Dale said, watching the screen. “I mean, when you get down to it, two errors out of fifty thousand isn’t so bad. Like, what’re three errors gonna do? I’ve seen code with way more than just five error—”

“You can stop, Dale,” Evan growled.

Oh, so there’s still unit tests failing in live-time, huh?
:fearfullaugh:


Unit tests complete: 52 out of 57,639 tests failed. The number irritated Evan, especially for how enigmatic it was. 52. Just one of those bugs could be days of work. And after that bug was finished, for all he knew, it would just give way to three more bugs that it was covering up! Evan felt his heart rate increase just thinking about it.

A small stylistic nitpick, but it might have been a cute touch to see something like a mockup of the text of Evan’s terminal. e.x. if they use a build tool that’s a knockoff of Apache Maven, something like:

Code:
Tests run: 57639, Failures: 52, Errors: 0, Skipped: 137

[INFO] ------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ERROR] BUILD FAILURE
[INFO] ------------------------------------------------------------------------
[INFO] There are test failures.

Especially since you can play to the idea of the gang cutting corners since they’re very obviously not doing integration tests here from their dialogue which would probably be a bit less “lol whatever” for an advanced AI. But eh, that’s probably getting a bit too far into the weeds there.

Growlithe barked on the opposite side of the hall, pounding his paws on the ground.

“Let’s just start it up. Ted, you mind getting the computers all configured?”

inb4 they wind up setting optimization flags to further hurry things up and cause further problems for themselves given that their AI is already going to be buggy coming out, so why not just add a few more potential points of failure for hilarity’s sake?

“Sure. Evan, you go and set up the terminal to try user input tests. I’ll get everything else ready.” Ted rumbled away.

Wew, still skipping those integration tests, huh? :V

Evan sighed, but then looked around. Paul was missing. And his water bottle was gone, too. “Deserter,” he mumbled. The clouds parted outside and moonlight streamed through the cracks of the windows. The heat of the afternoon was long gone, replaced instead by an eerie silence.

inb4 Dale’s already eying the exit himself.

“I guess it’s about time that I get started,” Evan said. “Dale, do you want to watch this? I bet it’d be pretty cool! After all these years of—Dale?” Evan looked back, only to see Dale releasing his Abra. In a flash of light, they vanished from the office. “Whatever. Just me and Ted, then.”

:hoodLUL:


I knew it.

Growlithe barked.

“And you, little guy.”

Growlithe: “*Actually I was thinking of going out and-*”
:thonklithe:

Evan: “Oi, that includes you!
:typhNOsion:


The server room was frigid. While Silph was normally very kind toward its employees—especially their developers—ultimately, the top priority was the servers, and when they were expecting a heavy load, extra energy was always diverted toward keeping the servers cool. Environmental laws prevented them from just taking in river water, cooling the server nodes, and dumping the simmering water back into the supply. They had to spend extra energy cooling the water before it could be properly released.

>Kanto actually having environmental regulations

Never would’ve expected that from how there’s just Muk and Grimer chilling in ponds as wild encounters in parts. Though I have to wonder why from a penny-pincher perspective that they’re not just dumping the heated water into a reservoir somewhere in the building, letting it cool, and then gradually draining it from the bottom where the cooler “spent” water would settle instead of bothering to invest in additional coolant to cool the spent coolant for their servers.

Or, you know, apply principles of distributed computing and have a bunch of smaller server farms working in concert that wouldn’t need as expensive cooling systems in general. But something, something “it’s a world with fantasy animals with superpowers”, so I won’t question it too much.

The final day of that madness was today, at least until they had some time for respite while their manger buttered up the execs with their findings and illusions of progress. For every unit test, for every compilation of Project Porygon, the supercomputer was set to work, running as many of those tests and as many of those tasks in parallel as possible. It still took far too long. But now, they finally had some idea of a light at the end of the tunnel: A full-application test.

Wait, so what on earth is the backup/disaster recovery server to a place like this even like, anyways? .-.

Evan was surrounded by servers. Shelves upon shelves of little blinking lights and featureless blocks of silicon and plastic. Growlithe was outside, intolerant of the chilling temperatures inside the supercomputer’s rooms, though Evan certainly wished he’d be there to keep him warm. His fingers were numb. His nose felt like a solid block of ice. His ears were in danger of falling off. Evan was almost positive he saw fog escape his mouth with every exhale. Each breath he took stung his lungs until he adjusted to the frigid temperatures.

Should’ve brought a coat,” he said, teeth chattering.

How on earth is this not a workplace health hazard at this rate? Since this sounds like a fantastic way to contract hypothermia. ^^;

Though what on earth are they even doing in here to require such temperatures? Since a casual background search reveals that IRL data centers usually target temperatures between 64ºF and 81ºF, while if Evan’s seeing his breath condense in front of him... .-.

“Everything’s ready,” Ted announced. Evan couldn’t see him—he was on the other side of the shelves, checking wires and cluster statuses.

“Great. Let’s get this done.”

bender-laughing.gif


Since this is like a third of the way into this one-shot at this rate, so. Yeah, highly unlikely we’re done here.

Muffled barks from Growlithe struggled past the window glass. Evan glanced back and saw the little guy jumping for brief glances through the window. He stretched his paws out and blindly pawed at the glass, whining.

Evan smiled slightly. “I don’t wanna keep him waiting.”

Porygon β’s already out and about, isn’t it?

Evan’s finger hovered over the final key. All he had to do was press enter, and the program would launch.

“So,” he said, “Ted, everything’s good?”

“Yeah, all good. Even the problem cluster is behaving. For once.

Aaaaaand he jinxed it.

“Okay,” Evan said, but his finger didn’t move. The failed tests bugged him. What would that mean for Project Porygon? It was just going to be a robot AI, but something about it bugged him. The code felt… different, after a while. More complex. Sometimes it felt like it changed itself when he wasn’t looking, like the little twitches of an embryo of zeroes and ones.

I mean, yes. That tends to happen when you unwittingly create artificial life.

Evan shook his head. That was silly.

Narrator: “It was not silly.”

Still…

“Hang on, Ted.”

“C’mon, man, I’m freezing my fingers off, here.”

“Just hang on. I need to make a call, okay?”

He dug through his pockets—lingering for the warmth—and pulled out his phone. His manager was always on call if something went wrong, but was it too late? Evan noticed that his phone showed 8:34 PM. He shook his head, the weight of his eyelids doubling. He dialed.

Ted: “Evan, for crying out loud!”
:WHY:

Evan: “Look, it’ll be two minutes, Ted! Just bear with me here!”

He was probably going to take Monday off.

I mean, I would too with a work schedule like this. ^^;

“Evan? What is it?” the phone buzzed.

“Hey, Jack, about Project Porygon—we have everything up and running, but—”

“You do? That’s great! Oh, Evan, that’s great. I’ll tell the higher ups right away. Is everyone else there with you?”

Evan: “I… didn’t get to finish my statement.”
:ohnowen:


“Ted’s here, but everyone else left after they finished up. I just have to hit Enter, and—”

“Great, perfect! And how about your Poké Ball? Is it all ready? Make sure you have a bunch, just in case! It may be a robot, but its signature should still be like a Pokémon if it all goes right.”

I swear, it’s like these guys are trying to create Skynet in the company’s server farm.

“Yeah, they’re all here, but—”

“Great! So, you’re gonna do it, right? I think if this all goes off with some results, they’ll forgive us for being three months behind, you know?”

What he didn’t mention was that they were three months behind after four reschedulings.

:copyka:


Well, that would explain why Evan and the gang have been on such a death march of a development process. Not that schedule slip isn’t very real in the world of software development.

Evan gulped. “Yeah. Okay. Got it.”

“Perfect. Call back and tell me how it goes, okay? I—”

Time to see how much of a disaster this turns out as. ^^;

Something screeched on the other side of the phone. Evan recognized it as Jack’s Pidgeotto.

“Ugh—gotta go, Evan. Call me back!” Disconnected.

Evan shut his phone and looked back at the console terminal. The cursor blinked rhythmically.

black-screen-with-flashing-blinking-cursor.gif


Evan@Silph.Co: ~/Projects/Porygon$ sh “poryLaunch.sh”

Ah yes, our boy Evan is using a Unix derivative as his OS. Though that must be one unholy mess of a shell script under the hood if that’s what’s being used to launch the process of making the first Porygon.

Evan stared for a while. He could always come back on the weekend and patch out a few of those bugs. Make it a little better. But at the same time, he’ll never be able to finish them all off at once. And what program wasn’t without a few bugs? This was just the beta. Jack needed to see results—he had a feeling all of Silph was going to grill him with a thousand Magnemite if they didn’t show something by next week.

:copyber:


I mean, he’s not wrong from a software development perspective. But this just feels like an absolutely cursed mindset to go into creating an artificial Pokémon with.

“Just get it done, Evan,” he mumbled. “You can fix it later.”

That was just the job. This was no different, right? Cutting edge technology didn’t come without a bit of bugs here and there, and they had all the precautions in place in case something went wrong. Countless ravings from Dale about “AI taking over the world” or “killer robots started at Silph”—mostly in jest—had scared Jack into having them program a kill switch in all beta builds. But really, wouldn’t the terminal’s kill command be just as good? Whatever made the boss man happy, he supposed.

“Evan, did you hit enter yet or not?”

… I see those jokes about these guys bumbling into creating Skynet were onto something there. .-.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbTf3moH72s


Evan: “... Wait, why is there suddenly music with ominous chanting playing in the background right now?” ._.

“Right, sorry—just had to double check something. I’ll do it.”

Evan wasn’t sure if his finger was shaking because of the cold or some ghostly anxiety. But Ted was waiting on him.

Growlithe: “*Um, Evan. If there’s something wrong with the button, maybe you should back off from it and-*”
Ted: “Come on, Evan, I don’t have all night, you know!” >:|

Growlithe whined, puffing little embers into the air to get his attention. He was also waiting. He had to stop hesitating.

“Okay. It’s starting.”

Whelp, time to see how hard and fast this server farm’s gonna get trashed.

The terminal filled unceremoniously with line after line of commands, launching the program, setting up files, checking resources. There were a few simple prompts for him to fill out, which Evan didn’t think much of. Most of them were simple customization options, like language preferences and names. Feeling a bit whimsical, he put down ‘Hope’ for the nickname. After that, it went on its merry way. Evan didn’t know half of what it did—this portion was Paul’s work, but it only worked on dummy code until now. If only Paul stayed to tell me if this was going right.

I suppose that calling the world’s first Porygon some variant of “Alpha” would be a bit on the nose, but “Hope”, huh? Clearly someone had his mind on his vacation there. :V

Evan squinted at some of the alert lines. “Did Paul… leave in a typo?”

RUNNIGN: PORYGON Launcher

RUNNIGN: RAM checker

RUNNIGN: Poly Builder


“I can’t believe he missed that,” Evan said. “Is he serious?” Still, messages went faster than he could read them. He could only see the prefixes—all the programs running in tandem like some strange, hyper-speed dance.

:fearfullaugh~1:


Sure was a good thing you guys skipped the integration tests, huh? Since that’s totally not a good omen for where things are going to go from here.

Growlithe scratched at the door, howling into the corner. It haunted Evan. A cold, icy feeling filled his gut, and he didn’t think it was because of the air conditioning. In fact, it was starting to feel a bit warmer on his skin.

ERROR: “poryTex.png” is missing or has been corrupted.

ERROR: “poryDictionary.txt” is missing or has been corrupted.

SUCCESS: “poryGrammar.bin” has been loaded.

NNNNNNNNNNN


“Uhh—” Evan blinked. “What?”

So Porygon β is instancing without a display image and some text that I presume would be related to its language model is also borked.

Ted: “Evan, is it supposed to do this?”
:wtfuckle:

Evan: “M-Maybe some files got corrupted! Give me a second, I’ll look into it!” O_O;

“What?” Ted asked.

“Hang on. Let me work on it,” Evan said.

Corrupted characters filled the screen. “Did Paul forget to terminate a string?” Evan said frantically. “Uhh—uhh—Ted!”

I don’t even want to begin to imagine what on earth Porygon β’s source code looks like under the hood if that can happen without some obvious compilation error happening before this. .-.

“What? Should I kill the server?”

“No, don’t—let me try something first. Just a bit of—”

Evan held two keys in an effort to terminate the program. It didn’t respond. Evan held a different pair of keys and tried to kill the program instead. It didn’t respond.

Growlithe: “*... Should I spit a fireball at the computer? That’d help, right?*”
:thonklithe:

Evan: “Agh! Come on, work, you piece of crap!”

“Server’s running hot,” Ted spoke up.

“Is the cooling chamber working?”

“This is with the cooling chamber.”

Evan: “... We’re sure we can’t just cut the power here?”
:uhhh:


“Okay, okay, hang on.”

Evan quickly opened up the task manager and searched through the running programs. He spotted it. End process.

There was a pause. The entire computer froze for five seconds. Even the cursor was frozen. Evan held his breath. Please, just end it. This was a mistake. Forget getting it done. This was wrong. Something was wrong.

Porygon β:
bdd.jpg


And then it continued. The process ended. Evan realized only then that he had been breathing hard, and he heard his heart in his ears. Slowly, his pulse normalized. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, it’s—it’s over. I’ll just call Jack, and—"

“Servers still running hot.”

Evan: “I’m sorry, come again?
:ohnowen:


“What?! But I ended the—”

Evan: “That’s just residual heat from earlier, right?” ._.;

The terminal had a message on it.

PORYGON successfully loaded. Happy birthday! :^)

Ted: “Well, your program succeeded. Sort of. Not sure how on earth you’re going to be able to successfully demo this though-”
Evan: “Ted, you don’t get it. This wasn’t supposed to happen!
:grohno~1:


He recognized the emote as one of Paul’s creations. A small smile twitched at the edge of his mouth and his pulse returned completely to normal.

Then, another message appeared.

Hello?

Evan: “... H-Hi?”
:quilaeep:


Evan stared. Growlithe whined on the opposite side of the door, pawing at the door again.

“It’s okay, Growlithe!” Evan said shakily.

Narrator: “It’s not okay.”

“Evan, what’s going on?!”

“Hang on,” Evan said.

He typed into the terminal. Hello.

Evan: “(I sure hope that kill switch still is built into this thing…)”
:uhhh:


Instantly, it replied.

Where am I?

In the Digital World since you’re a Digital Monster- oh wait, wrong series, huh?

Evan’s heart was in his head. In a computer. Who are you?

Where am I?

Evan: In a computer? You’re an AI, aren’t you?
:sweats:


Evan blinked. Did it miss the last entry? In a computer. Who

Evan couldn’t finish. The computer spoke again.

pory -h

pory -H

pory --help

Oh, so Porygon β is trying to learn what it can do inside this computer, huh?

Evan: “... I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to happen.” ._.

They hadn’t programmed a help command.

Do you need help? Evan typed.

Y

Evan: What’s going on?

Evan nodded. I can help. What do

pory --kill

pory --quit

pory -end

Wow, 15 seconds into life, and Porygon β already wants to end it all. Fantastic work there, Evan. ^^;

Evan frantically typed, What are you doing?

Porygon didn’t respond.

“Evan, what are you doing back there!? These things are gonna shut off if you keep this up! Even the hard disks are going haywire—this thing’s a virus or something!”

We’re going to see something like “pory eject $pory_ir” that yeets it out into the world in like 30 seconds, aren’t we?

“I—I’m not doing anything! It’s talking to me!”

“Talking? What do you mean, talking?!” Ted speedily walked around the server shelves and peered over Evan’s left shoulder. “It’s actually talking to you? Through that?”

“It needs help,” Evan said. “I think it wants to get out.”

Probably a good thing that Porygon β didn’t think of doing something like “pory man”, huh? ^^;

“It’s pory dash-dash-out,” Ted said.

“Okay.” Evan quickly typed in the command. pory --out

Guess that’s a bit easier to type out than an eject command there.
Nothing happened.

Cue the digital drinky bird freaking out on the other side of the terminal in 3… 2…

“Ted?” Evan asked.

“It was the last time we tested it!”

“We could never run that command in full until now, though. What if it’s just processing in the background?”

Ted: “And you didn’t add any way of visualizing the command’s progress why?” >_>;
Evan: “... We were crunched on time and energy?” ^^;

pory --HELP

Evan: “Never mind, it’s not out!” O_O;

“Why is it asking for help?”

“That’s just it making a command to the manual that doesn’t exist,” Evan said. “I think it’s trying to figure out how to release it. Ted, just go and find the manual. I know I printed it out, so it’s at my desk.”

“Okay.”

Wooooow, so they didn’t even bother to implement a “pory man” for moments where they’d have to SAN-check malformed commands. Quality job there, guys.

Seconds after Ted left, Evan realized the room was starting to feel warm. His stomach was in knots. What if this was his fault? Paul’s tests all passed. Dale’s probably did, too. But his had errors. Did he cause this?

Evan went back to the terminal, sighing. “Okay, so we have a Porygon that’s a little lost.” Don’t worry. We’re finding the command to get you out now.

Porygon β: pory man
Code:
pory: man: command not found
Evan: Right, kinda didn’t get around to implementing one of those
Porygon β: ಠ_ಠ
Evan: “... Wait, how on earth did we add Unicode character support but never get around to implementing a ‘man’ command?” ^^;

Specify: out.

The real world.

N

Oh, so Porygon doesn’t want to leave its computer? Or it just wants a computer that doesn’t suck relative to the one it’s trapped on?

Evan tilted his head. You don’t want to go out?

pory --kill


And it kept typing that, over and over.

Evan: “... Yeah, I think that’s a sign to pull the plug on this thing now.” O_O;

Evan hesitated. “Teeeed!” he raised his voice.

“What?” Ted’s muffled voice sounded through the glass.

“Maybe we shouldn’t release it! I think we actually did make a killer robot!” Evan paused, his brief, frantic thoughts making way for something more rational. “Wait. Kill. That’s not the shell command for killing people, that’s—”

A command to terminate a process, in this case, I’m pretty sure it’s Porygon β’s

“Made a what?” Ted called back, nudging Growlithe out of the way to slip back into the server room without the little Pokémon sneaking inside.

“Never mind,” Evan said. “We need to get that thing out immediately.”

“Why?”

“It’s trying to terminate its own program.”

Somehow, I don’t think that ‘creating a suicidal AI’ is going to impress the Silph Co board terribly much, just saying.

pory --quit

“Why?” Ted said. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

The failed tests and twitching code flashed in his eyes. “Let’s get it out,” Evan said. “What’s the command?”

Oh great, so that way Porygon β can be suicidal in a room full of expensive server racks with elemental powers. What could possibly go wrong with this idea right now? ^^;

Porygon had fallen silent, but the servers were still running hot. The whole room felt like it was running hot.

“It’s pory dash-dash-releaseFINAL2. Capitals on FINAL, and the number—”

“Why was it written like that?!”

“I—I don’t know!”

Because your AI was very obviously duct-taped together under deadline pressure so it’s an ungodly mess of “why on earth did we think this was a good idea” features like PHP?

Evan frantically typed into the prompt.

pory –relesefiNAL2

“No, no, you forgot to—”

“I KNOW I DID!”

pory --releaseFINAL2

Time to see what a glorious disaster this is going to be.

The entire computer froze again. A distressing, buzzing noise sounded on the opposite side of the room. Ted sprinted over. “Running REALLY hot right now! What’s going on? Why is it taking this much power?!”

I mean, you know how in Digimon Tamers there was the whole bit about Digimon becoming flesh-and-blood(-ish) entities from Cyberspace? Yeah, turns out that takes a crapton of processing power.

Evan frantically pressed two keys again, trying to terminate the program. “We’ll just disconnect everything,” he said. “Just—just take out the server Porygon’s in, and never turn it on AGAIN, okay? TED?”

“Okay, OKAY, let me—”

Yeah, this is too late now, isn’t it?

Sparks of electricity arced over the air and onto the ground right next to Evan. The developer stumbled backward and landed on his rear, grunting when he hit the tiled floor. He stared at the thing that materialized before him. Growlithe slammed into the door, trying unsuccessfully to break in.

It wasn’t a Porygon.

So wait, then what is it, Missingno?

It was a jumbled mess of angular shapes that didn’t form a single coherent prism. Polygons jutted out in random directions, bumping against the ground with loud, screeching, grinding noises. It was a random assortment of reds and blues, but Evan also saw a single, white hexagon that was supposed to be its eye, but the black dot for its pupil was not there. Instead, it was on a separate, semi-formed block of red. The black dot twirled around the block in silence, and the mass of triangles twisted and contorted for what felt like an eternity.

Yeah, this sounds a lot like Missingno right now. If with a Porygon color scheme.

And then it screeched. It was a mixture of the static of a television, the grinding of metal on metal, and the wail of a soul that shouldn’t exist. Evan scrambled away and bumped his hand against a small Poké Ball near him. Empty. His head was ringing. Was he screaming? Evan couldn’t hear himself. He couldn’t even hear his thoughts. He grabbed the Poké Ball, not knowing what else to do, and tossed it at the thing.

Can’t tell if this is going to work or fail horribly here.

It bounced against one of the many triangles. Before the Poké Ball even had a chance to pull it in, the mess of polygons violently exploded in a flash of light. The shockwave blasted the nearest servers and shoved them back a few inches on the shelves; stray pieces of the corrupted Porygon’s solid form pierced through Evan’s one remaining shoe and his wet sock. Thankfully, none of them seemed to cut up his feet. Unfortunately, one piece slashed his cheek, leaving a small cut. Ted dived behind another shelf of the servers, avoiding the blast entirely.

Oh yeah, that one’s going to be fun to explain to your boss in the morning.

Growlithe was emitting a sound that was a strange mixture of a bark and a scream on the opposite side of the door. Evan could barely hear it. All he heard was a high ring and a deep pulse. Blood ran down his cheek. He winced when he felt for the source. His fingers ran over a shallow, long wound. Shakily, he stood on his feet.

Growlithe: “*Evan? Evan?! S-Say something to me!*”
:eltyscared:


Ted peeked out from behind the servers. “I—I’ll check the logs.” He was working on autopilot; Evan felt the same. The shock left him completely numb; he couldn’t believe what happened, and chose not to. Maybe it was heatstroke. There wasn’t a trace of the mess left, after all. No, the servers were just fine. It wasn’t as if there were three of them toppled over, no. Evan didn’t see that.

This was all caught on CCTV, wasn’t it? Since if so, that’s going to be fun to explain to the boss in the morning.

He moved to the other side of the servers. The room was cooling down. But Evan was still hot.

He staggered to the terminal. It wouldn’t respond to any of his interactions.

“What…?” Ted said.

Oh, so Porygon β isn’t dead yet.

“What?” Evan asked. He couldn’t steady his fingers enough to type into the terminal anyway. His hearing came back enough to hear Growlithe’s soft whines.

“These logs are insane,” Ted went on. “It’s a bunch of file change logs, and then a compile command, and then… Evan, were you trying to fix the code live or something? What did the robot do? H-how did it…?”

In retrospect, I guess that would explain why the Porygon β was trying to kill itself given that it turned out to be such an unholy mess.

“I was just staring at the screen the whole time,” Evan said. “What do you mean?” Evan glanced at his screen again. “Ugh, the thing is frozen. I can’t do anything.”

“Server’s running a little warm, actually,” Ted said, “but I don’t get—”

“Hang on,” Evan said. He saw it again.

RUNNING: PORYGON Launcher

Evan: “... Oh, you’re kidding me.”
:ScaredCabot:


“The typo’s fixed,” Evan mumbled.

He didn’t see any errors this time. He watched, line by line, every operation the script took. Ted, seeing that the servers were not running dangerously, stepped away from the shelves and went to Evan’s side, looking over his shoulder for the second time. Seconds became minutes; Evan didn’t know what was going through Ted’s mind, but the fact that he was so quiet, his jaw tense, suggested that he was also in numb disbelief.

Oh, so Porygon β was attempting to repair itself from the unholy mess that was uploaded for this test run, huh? Or at least I think that that was the implication there.

How were they going to explain this to Jack?

Porygon successfully loaded. Happy birthday! :^)

“No…” Evan shook his head, eyes wide. It started again. Another life created just to die. “We—we have to destroy this server. Ted?”

Ted: “I mean, at least this one didn’t have an obvious typo in its terminal messages, so you don’t know that it’s going to turn into that glitchy, blocky… thing again?”
:joltyshrug~1:


Ted blinked a few times, but then shook his head. “Uhh, I’m not gonna get in trouble for that,” he said. “I need this job, thanks.”

We have to destroy it,” Evan said, turning toward him.

Ted: “Evan, I think you’re losing it right now.” ._.;

Ted gulped. “Y-you’re kinda giving me a crazy look right now, Evan. It’s just a robot, remember? Just terminate the program and we’ll report the log—”

“That thing isn’t supposed to exist.” Evan swung his arm in the servers’ general direction. “It was a mistake to think we could program life on a schedule. Forget deadlines. This shouldn’t have even started.”

That’s just life in general, Evan. Might as well see what you made and roll with it.

Ted and Evan stared each other down. “It’s just a job, man,” Ted said. “What even happened? We made a scary robot. It glitched out. But we got it done, right? Now, we can fix it.”

Ted: “After all, that is what you’re going to be busy with once you come back into the office. You know that, right?” ^^;

The embryonic code flashed in Evan’s mind again. No, some strange magic had gotten into the system somehow. He didn’t know what it was, or why, or how, but at some point along the way, they created something much more than binary.

inb4 it was intervention by Arceus or Mew breathing the spark of life into this thing for lulz to much popcorn as these two wound up freaking out.

“That wasn’t just a robot,” Evan said. “Didn’t you hear it scream? That was a life. And it existed in pain. It lived for only a few minutes, and then it died. I’m—I’m not doing that again. No. I—”

Hello!

He saw it in the corner of his eye.

Can’t tell if this is going to be a properly formed Porygon this time or not.

Ted followed Evan’s gaze, the servers running silent, even Growlithe.

“I think it wants to talk to you.”

Evan: “Ted, I don’t think that I want to-”
:eltyscared:

Ted: “Evan, you’re going to have to show this to the brass on Monday. At least see what came out this time around before you opt to destroy it.”

Evan stared at the terminal. The knot was forming in his gut again. “Fine,” he said. Hello.

Is this EBrigg_WorkSpace_PC409?

Oh, so it is a properly functioning Porygon this time.

Evan shook his head. Yes, it is. My name is Evan.

Hello, Evan! My name is PORYGON!


“It’s… it’s fixed,” Ted said. “Evan, the logs—Right before we did the command to release it, there was a unit test. Everything passed.”

Can’t tell if Porygon fixed itself there, they just got lucky from the bits happening to fall into the right place, or if Arceus/Mew/[someone] put their thumb on the scale here.

A new numbness washed over Evan. He was supposed to feel relieved, wasn’t he? He should. It fixed itself. They created something that fixed itself, and Project Porygon looked like it was going to be a complete success. Hello, PORYGON. Are you okay?

Checking status… No errors reported.

Evan: “Um… yay?” ._.;

“Hey, look, it even does a self-diagnosis! You guys coded something really clever, didn’t you?” Ted grinned, patting Evan on the back. “H-hey, you look like you saw a ghost! C’mon! Maybe it was just a cache issue with the first robot. C’mon, let’s show it to Jack. Release it!”

Narrator: “Evan and the others didn’t code this.”

Evan didn’t do anything. He forgot to blink.

“Uh, Evan? You’re starting to scare me a little.”

Hello? Porygon said. Seeking terminal access: Y/N

Ted gently nudged Evan aside. Y

Evan: “Ted, what are you-!” O_O;

Porygon typed next.

pory --releaseFINAL2

Evan:
:AAAAAA:


Electricity arced over the servers again; Evan gasped and shut his eyes. He covered his ears. He didn’t want it to happen again. It was going to be a jumbled mess of—

Evan’s phone rang. He looked down, opening his eyes briefly. And then he saw it, right in front of him. And it was… normal. A Porygon, as they had designed.

Porygon: “*Hello, world!*” ^v^

Porygon made an odd, tweeting noise, but then flinched, flailing its little prism limbs. Its polygonal eyes lowered in an embarrassed twitch, and then made another tweeting noise. Puzzled, it tried again, and again, but then made a gesture of sighing.

“Guess the communication module needs some work. But maybe that’s for the best. I dunno if I can deal with talking Pokémon. This thing’s a Pokémon, right?”

Ted: “I mean, you did bring a spare Pokéball in case the test one failed, right?”
:joltyshrug~1:


Growlithe barked; Porygon perked up, turning toward the door. It pecked at it, tweeting again. Growlithe replied happily; Porygon seemed pleased, its levitating body bobbing happily.

“Oh, never mind. Guess it’s just for talking to other Pokémon.”

Evan: “Okay, we definitely didn’t program it to do that.”
:wtfuckle:


Evan looked at his phone again. Jack. What if he just let it ring? Still, whatever lingering sense of duty he had toward the job made him answer.

“Hey,” Evan said.

“Hey, so how’d it go?”

“It went fine. Porygon is floating right in front of me.”

Probably want to scrub that CCTV footage before Monday, Evan. Since I don’t know if I’d have characterized that entire experience as ‘fine’ ^^;

Porygon curiously rubbed its beak on one of the servers, trying to converse with it. When the new life got no reply, it grew bored and tried to communicate with the next one. Apparently this one was more attractive, as he began trying to peck affectionately at the box.

“That’s great, Evan. Perfect! Did you capture it?”

Evan: “...”
:fearfullaugh:

Jack: “Evan, you did capture it, right?” >:|

“No, I’ll have it captured right now, but it’s friendly, so that’s all working.” He nodded at Ted, who grabbed a Poké Ball.

“Hey, Porygon!” Ted said, holding up the ball.

Porygon’s eyes flashed in recognition, perhaps some preinstalled data, and floated toward him.

Ted: “Wow, this thing’s amazing, Evan! It even comes right at you! Guess all that hard work really paid off after all!” ^^;
Evan: “Yeah… something like that.”
:sweats:


He tossed it to Porygon. The polygonal Pokémon obediently entered, shook a little, and with a mechanical click, it remained still.

Evan: “... I’m not holding on to that, thanks.”
:wtfuckle:

Ted: “Your loss, really. Though what’s gotten you so worked up, I’d have thought you’d be over the moon!”

Jack cheered, “Perfect, Evan! You got it done. Are there any issues?”

Evan hesitated. He couldn’t leave the dead air for long—Jack would just interrupt him, as he always did—so he went with the truth. “There were some. But we got it done, and it got fixed right after. But—”

“Proud of you, Evan. I’ll be sure to give you a raise for all your hard work! We’ll get going on the upgraded model next! Once I take a look at it myself, of course, and ooh, can you imagine how pleased the execs will be? Oho, I need to bring you along for it, Evan! Imagine that! You were the lead programmer for this whole thing, after all, no matter what anyone else said. This is all you! But once that’s over with, I bet Porygon2 will be a homerun.”

Evan: “... Porygon… 2?”
:FearfulMeowth:

Jack: “I mean, of course. Every software product always needs a new version to bring out the latest and greatest! Smooth out bugs, add features. Should be old hat for you, right?” ^^;

Evan didn’t say anything. That was right. That was the next project. Another—how long would it be, this time? And how far past the deadline will they push it? How many hours of overtime, failed tests… and… short lives, created and killed? This was just one. What about the next? What if it didn’t somehow fix itself? What happened to that poor, broken Porygon from before? Where did it go? Or was it just… gone?

Ah yes, the ethical quandaries of creating life. Especially when your attempts at creating life result in pink-and-blue Missingno that are in pain from just existing.

Jack was saying something, but he heard none of the words.

Evan walked out of the server room; Ted remained behind to inspect the damaged computers, grumbling about ordering new ones. Evan didn’t care. Growlithe tackled his legs, tearing off his other shoe. The little Pokémon ran and grabbed the other shoe—he had stashed it behind a potted plant—and waited, tail wagging, by the elevator door.

Evan: “Yeah, I need a freaking drink.”
:grohno~1:


He pressed the button and waited, remembering that he had a phone against his ear. The elevator opened, Growlithe hopping inside with Evan’s shoes.

“Are you still there, Evan? Hello? Is this thing—”

“I quit.”

Can’t tell if this was wise or really, really ill-advised on Evan’s part given that one day the world’s first Porygon-Z will need to be built and that in baseline depictions is a glitchy mess.

giphy.gif


Man, what a ride there. I mean, part of it’s bias since this story resonates with me a bit more than it would with the average reader, but I really liked this piece, and it’ll definitely be going up there on my shortlist of recommended one-shots.

The main thing that drew me to this piece beyond the premise was the level of attention to detail for programming practice and syntax and overall culture. Like it’s impressive, but I suppose I should’ve expected as much when IIRC your day job is as a sysadmin. The entire first scene really hit close to home since even if it’s a bit exaggerated, it’s very true to reality to the experience of a programmer by trade and it got me to relate to Evan more as a protagonist and helped pull me into the story a bit.

I was also impressed on how the one-shot managed to touch on ethical issues regarding the creation of life and surrounding AI from reality. Like I did not peg that would be a thing in this story at all from the tone of the first scene initially, but I like that the story went there in terms of a topic, and it was worked in in a fairly organic fashion. It’s especially impressive since you pulled off all these echoes to reality and real-life issues while having a narrative that felt distinctly “Pokémon”, with little things like Evan’s Growlithe being there at his side on the job or the failed Porygon basically turning into Missingno being nice reminders of that.

I don’t have too much to complain about from this one-shot, and the criticisms that I do have basically boil down to “road not taken” moments of the story. One of those is that I kinda wish that Growlithe and the Pokémon in general had had a bit more of a presence in terms of character. Since just saying, you missed a golden opportunity to show off Live Growlithe Debugging in this story considering Evan’s mad rush to get his unit tests to pass. :V

I also kinda wish the code bits had been presented in more code-y format such as using code boxes or mockups of terminal cursors of the like. I get that doesn’t work on some platforms like FFN for reasons relating to it being… FFN, but it is a flourish supported on others like here, and it’d have been a nice visual touch that I think would’ve potentially leaned into the idea of “Evan staring at a monitor” a bit more.

Very, very well done there @Namohysip . There aren’t a whole lot of stories in this scene that deal with programming / CompSci and Pokémon together as a premise, but this is definitely one of the smarter uses of that combo that I’ve seen. Honestly, if you ever write a followup depicting the creation of the first Porygon2 or first Porygon-Z, I’d be all for it, since given how much of a saga the first Porygon was, it’s made me curious as to what their initial creations were like in this world.

Though hey, even if you opt to leave this one as a one-off, I think you’ve written something worth being proud of, and hopefully it gets some more eyes on it in the future, since it’s very clever and well-written.
 
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Starlight Aurate

Ad Jesum per Mariam | pfp by kintsugi
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Route 123
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  1. mightyena
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Hi there! I recently have gotten into coding (albeit unintentionally lol), and when I heard that this one-shot has to do with software development, I decided to take a look for this year's Review Blitz!

The air was like blankets that day. Closed windows made of white, metal, flimsy blinders blocked as much light as the employees could manage. Still, despite this, pinpricks of blistering sunlight plagued their cubicles. It was the harshest time of the day. It was also a convenient time for the air conditioning to shut off for most of the building in favor of dedicating to the server room. It was the end of the week, where most workers went home, and most employees could pat themselves on the back for a job well done.

For Silph Co., that was not the case. Not today.
Ahhh this feels EXACTLY what it's like to (A) work on an island where people usually turn the aircon off and (B) be involved in projects when you have strict deadlines coming up (thinking of research grants in my experience).
Crunch time, they called it. Deadlines from executives that didn’t know how programming worked. Dev Ops had pulled an all-nighter the day before when one of the servers crashed for some inexplicable reason.
This feels uncomfortably real.

while they had their own spaces, the “walls” that separated them were only a few feet high. To encourage cooperation, their manager said. It only caused distractions.
Oh my gosh, these are the kind of environments where nothing ever gets done. Especially when coworkers are nonstop chit-chatters.

He fanned his face, but that just made more hot air waft over him.
Does Silph not even have fans inside its rooms? I know several people who, even when their AC is blasting inside, use fans because they claim that people need to have circulating air lol.

“I’m done with mine. Get on my level.” Paul smirked.
Then why are you still here, Paul?!?!?!

Evening bled into the night.
At first, I read this as, "Evan bled into the night." :mewlulz:

Two of the senior devs left for coffee and never came back.
*Leaves for coffee at nighttime*
*Never return*
Why am I not shocked lol

“Hah! Fired. That’s a good one. Who’re they gonna replace me with?”
Not only that, but Dale could probably find a job somewhere else pretty easily, with those skills.

“I mean, when you get down to it, two errors out of fifty thousand isn’t so bad."
It's bad when ONE error means you can't run what you need to and you're stuck banging your head until you figure out where you made a typo.

Unit tests complete: 52 out of 57,639 tests failed.
Ughhhhh I feel this pain.

Environmental laws prevented them from just taking in river water, cooling the server nodes, and dumping the simmering water back into the supply. They had to spend extra energy cooling the water before it could be properly released.
This is pretty neat. Is this actually how places are kept cool in real life?

"I think if this all goes off with some results, they’ll forgive us for being three months behind, you know?”
Uhhh no, no I don't know a single head of operations who would forgive a project being three months late :mewlulz:

What he didn’t mention was that they were three months behind after four reschedulings.
Sounds about right XD

Evan@Silph.Co: ~/Projects/Porygon$ sh “poryLaunch.sh”
Ugh, command line >_<

pory --kill

pory --quit

pory -end
Hit q!

pory –relesefiNAL2

“No, no, you forgot to—”

“I KNOW I DID!”
Not to mention you spelled "release" wrong XD

Growlithe barked; Porygon perked up, turning toward the door.
I can't help but wonder how Porygon would run. I imagine its prism feet rotating 360 degrees so it ends up rolling unevenly, haha.

And man, what an ending! Evan's quitting does seem a bit sudden, but looking back, I think he's had it on his mind for a long time. Whether or not working long hours and weekends and missing deadlines is part of what's to be expected as a software developer or are things that are inadmissible in the workplace is a line that people have to draw, and it can be really difficult to distinguish where that line is. On one hand, Evan still seems to be in quite a state of shock and might not be thinking clearly. On the other hand, this could be the last event that confirmed his decision to leave (the "straw that broke the camel's back," if you will, except that witnessing the creation and destruction of a corrupted Porygon was less of a straw and more of a 200-pound rock), and now he's standing up for what he believes in by refusing to keep his current job, refusing to accept acknowledgement for all the work he did, AND refusing a pay raise.

The corrupted Porygon appearing and then exploding was chilling, to say the least. I got goosebumps! It's always unsettling to see something that's "not quite right," and a collage of floating electric prisms with a single eye that won't fully form definitely fits the case. It also brings up the question of "what counts as life?" and the follow up question of "what's moral to do with it?" Even obviously is horrified that lives are created only for them to suffer and die--and they don't even have any hope of their life improving, since (from what I gather), the code used to create them cannot be revised and fixed after it's been run. The corrupted code makes them unstable, and they can only be around for a few seconds, screaming in agonizing pain, before literally exploding out of existence! What's even more horrifying is that poor Porygon came out corrupted just because they spelled the word "RUNNING" incorrectly. A single typo literally causes someone to suffer and die. Ted, on the other hand, seems to be more pragmatic and distanced about it: what's the destruction of a few bits of code if they can ultimately create a stable life form? Was the first Porygon even alive? And if so, what does it matter? They can just keep on making more and more until they get what they want. It's definitely a morally sticky situation, and something that I imagine most software developers don't go into their jobs thinking they'll have to make decisions about.

I enjoyed this quite a bit! As you can tell from my line-by-lines, all of the feelings that the software developers go through definitely resonated with me. You did a great job at painting a realistic, uncomfortable part of everyday working life. The characters are believable, and the Growlithe is so cute! I wish we could take our dogs to work, haha. In general, I love character backstories and exploring/expanding on canon, and so reading the creation of Porygon was definitely a treat. Thanks for sharing!
 

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
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This is pretty neat. Is this actually how places are kept cool in real life?

Yes and no. The whole thing about water going into a river too hot after being used for server cooling is very real, though, and it got a company in trouble and they had to stop and find other ways to fix it (because it was messing with the fish population.)

Anyway, I'm really glad you enjoyed this! Thanks for reading. This is some old writing, so I'm very glad that it's holding up so well~
 

canisaries

you should've known the price of evil
Location
Stovokor
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she/her
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  1. inkay-shirlee
  2. houndoom-elliot
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Hey! I've been meaning to check this out for a looong time, and the Blitz gave the perfect excuse (even if my review's turning out too short to qualify for points).

Growlithe whined and nibbled on Evan’s shoes.
aw this reminded me how our old dog would start biting our shoes when she got hyper. core memory unlocked

Dev Ops had pulled an all-nighter the day before when one of the servers crashed for some inexplicable reason.
things learned today: reading "dev ops" in a pokemon fanfiction triggers my fight or flight response

“Poor Ted,” Evan mumbled, pulling his feet away from Growlithe. “Heard his wife was pretty upset that he’s spending more time here than there.”

“What, like we aren’t?” asked another dev in the cubicle opposite of him—while they had their own spaces, the “walls” that separated them were only a few feet high. To encourage cooperation, their manager said. It only caused distractions. “Ugh, this heat is killing me. You sure that slobber-brain of yours isn’t causing it? Maybe inherited Overheat from those monsters you call his parents?”

“I’m sure.” Evan sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’ll get my code checked in right away. Did you review Dale’s?”

“Yeah, yeah, I reviewed it. Dale, you got them?” He fanned his face, but that just made more hot air waft over him.

“Fixing that line now,” Dale said. “And how about you, Paul? Eh?”

“I’m done with mine. Get on my level.” Paul smirked.

Dale and Evan both rolled their eyes, though they smiled back.
I had kind of a hard time recognizing who was supposed to be who here. I'm still not sure if Dale was the Dev Ops lead, or another guy.

His rolling chair tipped over and he slammed into the ground with a hard wump!
yoo theres whump in this story

“Evan, did you hit enter yet or not?”
I think Enter was capitalized before this.

Hello? Porygon said. Seeking terminal access: Y/N

Ted gently nudged Evan aside. Y
YOU FOOL THATS LIKE GIVING A FAE YOUR NAME

---

Great story! I can see why it ranked so high. I didn't expect it to be straight up horror, but I think you did a great job with it.

As a software developer, it was fun to see things familiar from work in a Pokémon context. I can't estimate all that well how accessible it is to someone not in the field, but it at least feels like the jargon isn't blocking any narrative-vital information.

I'm not really sure why I don't find myself with more to say about this, but let it be a sign of a good story that I haven't found anything to complain about.

See you around!
 

Namohysip

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Thanks for reviewing, Canis! Yes, I'm very glad the programmer life was relatable lol, this was probably one of my favorite oneshots to write in terms of drawing from personal experience. My stories are usually so fantastical that it's not often I can make such direct comparisons, so this was a bit of a self-indulgent oneshot for me to write.
 

Mirage

Pokémon Trainer
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Honolulu, HI
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He/him
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  1. minccino
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Heyo Namo! The 5th Anniversary mini-blitz has me digging into my stash of oneshots I unfortunately never got around to during last year's main blitz. Between Porygon being one of my favorite Pokemon and having just gotten my first job as a junior programmer back in January, I was very :eyes: at the premise for In Beta!

Having finished the story, it was quite an enjoyable read. Even though it was published a while ago (holy shit, has it really been half a decade since 2019?), it reads as very polished. Nothing felt convoluted or clunky, the story felt the perfect length for what it was trying to accomplish, and the indirect characterization was excellent. Just as a small example, take Dale ditching Evan with his Abra - it's clearly a scene meant for a laugh, but it also perfectly suits what we see of his personality. I can see how maybe he'd bond with his Abra if they're both a bit lazier than the others around them, and it gives him a reason for owning an Abra specifically instead of any of the hundreds of other Pokemon he could've been given. I also very much appreciated Growlithe's playful doge energy - he was great in providing some lighter moments to balance out the story's otherwise stressed tone.

Regarding the story's IRL accuracy, can 100% confirm. The rush before the deadline, the silly names for the options when you "temporarily" extend the names while troubleshooting, the overenthusiastic boss who misinterprets "partially functional" for "ready to demo". And there's a ton of minor technical details here that I can see as well, like how unit tests started off working and then failed in quick succession later (since they're often grouped by functional area), or how Evan is explicitly referred to as using a two finger combination to try to kill the Porygon process (almost certainly Ctrl+C, or maybe Ctrl+D for inserting an EOF into the input stream for Porygon). Although I personally get a kick out of watching ridiculously inaccurate tech scenes in movies or shows like the infamous NCIS hacking scene, it was also really nice to see something spot on for once.

There's a salient theme here, seeing Porygon die like that, about how much the tech industry glorifies working under pressure and how we often downplay the consequences and impacts of doing so. It reminded me of the Therac-25 incident - the one where a series of race conditions from poorly developed software made it possible for a radiation machine to deliver thousands of times the safe level of radiation to cancer patients, and in the process, killed several of them (and severely injured several more). Evan and the team are tasked with essentially creating a conscious, living life form, yet they treat it like any other project - they're just striving for "works", disregarding the suffering that "works" could cause to Porygon.

Thanks again for the story Namo, I greatly appreciated it!
 

Namohysip

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It reminded me of the Therac-25 incident

Wow, I'm blown away -- that is precisely the inspiration behind much of this. The core of the conflict that happened in this story stems from the idea of someone coding safety-critical software under crunch time conditions. The only reason it happened is because the safety was for the software itself, where they were trying to code a new, sentient being.

Thanks for reading!
 
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