redspah
the gay agenda
- Pronouns
- she/her
Interlude XI: Happenstance
CONTENT WARNING: Suicide
What the hell had he just run into?
Muffled electronic music filled Dan’s ears as he made his way home, combining with an ill-fitted coat to shield him from the depressing surroundings. It was still cold, and his nose was still an obnoxiously large target for any stray raindrops, but he’d bear through the former and had his methods to ease the latter. For once, though, his mind was focused on something entirely unrelated to what either of his usual senses were feeding him, replaying the scene he had just witnessed on a loop.
It stumped him in a way not much did anymore. Was that a drug drop gone awry? Some sort of gang intimidation? He’d seen these two kids around quite a bit, and while their records were far from spotless, they were nowhere near bad enough for him to suspect them of dealing with organized crime. Then again, they didn't end up actually getting hurt. Frightened and held in place, yes, but not hurt. Didn’t notice any manipulation either, though that might’ve just been because of the distance.
Further confounding it was the fact that, as far as he could tell, the psychics were coming from the tall one and not either of the mons. The thought made him chuckle under his breath; the mental image of some stray wildling putting on their best hobo impression was too far-fetched to be real, amusing as it was.
Not his business either way, especially since nobody got hurt.
Clearing his mind, Dan upped the volume a couple of notches just in time for the drop, head banging all the while. A lotta noise—most of which his dad couldn’t stand, but it was exactly what he needed. Took quite a bit of talking and thinking to square the circle of his preferences without subjecting his old man to what he’d so candidly described as ‘the sounds of blenders being tortured to death’, but eventually, they arrived at their current solution.
Custom molded earbuds were the priciest investment of his life so far, but also the ones by far the most worth it.
Completing his most favorite kind of overstimulation was the small trinket in his off-hand, sliding up and down along its string roughly in tune with the beat. It’d still be a while until he could time it right, but the progress he had so far was already motivating enough.
It also inspired the mental image of him walking up to a wildling cousin and just giving them a yo-yo of their own. Also a trinket on a string, but one they could do so much more with instead of just obsessively polishing it! Win-win as far as he was concerned! Oh well—
...
...
Oh shit.
His heart skipped a beat as he focused on the sensations he could just barely make out a few streets down, bright and noticeable in the most distressing way possible. A part of him wanted to ignore it and run, to just hope it’d solve itself; it’s not like this stuff didn’t happen all the time whether he was there or not—but he couldn’t. Of course he couldn’t, he’d know he could’ve done something but didn’t.
He already had enough things to judge himself for as is.
A deep breath never hurt to get his head straight in situations like these, but he had no idea how much time he had—might as well head over as he chewed through what he’d even do. Just like dad said—acknowledge it, measure it, mitigate it. He’d acknowledged it alright, and from the little he could measure it, it looked dire but not critical yet.
Now to mitigate it.
Dan struggled to think of what he’d say to the stranger as he speed-walked down the wet pavement; the din of rain and even his music completely tuned out by now. He needed to have a plan or else he’d just make it all worse—especially if he started panicking or was too serious. It’d have to be something casual, yet attention-grabbing. Let’s see...
Whoever it was, they seemed to be young, and the little he could make out of their thoughts was snarky and bitter. Maybe meeting them at their level could work? A bit of edgy snark instead of just platitudes? It made sense in the moment and left him hoping to whatever gods were watching that he wasn’t about to make the worst mistake of his life.
It was time to straighten himself out a bit, stuff the yo-yo into his pocket, take another breath,
And turn the corner.
Sensing it a few minutes earlier didn’t make the sight that awaited him any less unnerving.
A human was balancing along the railing of the bridge in front of him, one step after another on wet, slippery metal. Next to said railing rested a roughened backpack and a couple balls; a detail that would’ve left Dan unnerved in any other situation. Their soaked outfit was nowhere near enough for the weather, a thick scarf wrapped around their neck aside.
Dan kept a grip on himself as he approached, focusing on being able to grab them in case they did what he feared they would. It was time to catch their attention, and he hoped beyond hope his awful opener wouldn’t make anything worse.
“~Wouldn’t recommend using this bridge. Much shorter than it looks at night, you’ll just break your leg and drown in agony. That flat over there might work though, should be tall enough.~”
He cursed his dry, under-used voice as the figure ahead turned around to face him, jolting a bit. Thankfully, their reactions stopped at that, and while their thoughts briefly veered toward doing the unthinkable, their feet stayed firmly glued to the railing.
“~What kinda fucking advice is that?~” the stranger said with a mix of surprise and amusement, the latter undoing at least some of their—no, her—gloom.
“~Ehh, the best one I could think of on the spot. Tried my best, y’know.~” Dan’s heart hammered as he approached, each step making his grip on the girl that much stronger should the worst come to pass. He had to keep talking but didn’t have many ideas for what to say—aside from the most banal response possible to something like this. “~Somethin’ happen lately? Dad always told me to never make any life decisions after dark, and this sure looks like a big one.~”
The stranger giggled at his shoddy joke, even if it was mixed with a barely visible eye roll. The moment of levity brought some relief, but it didn’t last. “~I fucked up one too many times,~” the girl admitted, letting Dan finally notice how hoarse her voice was.
And how much her gaze lingered on the other side of the railing.
“~Fucked up what? Everyone fucks stuff up from time to time. Shit happens y’know.~”
“~The whole—the whole fuckin’ trainer bullshit. Took it up to get away from my fuckin’ parents and now I’m fuckin’ done for. Been trying to do something, fuckin’ anything, but I just fuckin’ can’t.~” Her hand clenched at the admission, tears adding to the downpour.
Not the most... sympathetic story as far as Dan was concerned, but at least it was one the stranger was at the end of. “~Sounds rough. Can’t you just quit being a trainer then?~”
“~And go back to fuckin’ groveling at my parents’ feet while they treat me like shit!? Fuck no, I’d rather take the leap,~” she snarled, seething anger pointed in equal parts at herself and at the two bespoke humans. “~They always fuckin’ hated me, couldn’t fuckin’ stand me even when I was their poster good boy they could fuckin’ parade around in front of their fuckin’ ghoul friends. Fuck them, I’m gonna have the last fuckin’ hurrah, gonna spite them one last time.~”
Dan didn’t have the time to respond before she turned her head skyward and shouted, “~SEE THIS, MOM? LOOK AT YOUR FAILURE OF A SON, HOPE YOU CAN SHIP THAT SHITTY SUIT YOU CRIED OVER STRAIGHT TO FUCKING HELL!~”
Their hearts raced as fast as they ever got as Dan tried to think of what to say. The idea that soon hit his head wasn’t the best, but it was something to keep her attention on him, at least. “~Don’t spite them by dying if they hate you this much, spite them by living. Spite them by being happy even if they don’t want you to be.~”
The stranger laughed again, this time at him and not with him. “~Oh it’s that easy, of course! Have any other bedtime stories to tell me?~” she snarked, the wound the sarcasm was meant to cover getting more and more aggravated by the moment.
“~Well, I never said it was easy, but it is possible, even if it looks like it isn’t. Tomorrow comes another day; you’ve got tons of chances to turn your life around, especially at this age. Just because being a trainer didn’t work out doesn’t mean that nothing else will. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you deserve happiness too.~”
He jolted as he sensed the girl’s reaction to his last remark, her clever facade coming undone by the moment.
“~Do I now? Sure as fuck doesn’t fuckin’ feel like it, I—I fuckin’ failed them. I failed them over and over and kept putting them in harm’s way over and over and they just kept hurting, I don’t deserve them a-and I went for a dumb fuckin’ desperate idea and only hurt them even more for fuckin’ NOTHING, and they fuckin’ hate me now!~”
It took little effort to realize who the girl’s rambling was aimed at, the balls beside her backpack catching Dan’s attention again. She cared more about her mons than most trainers he’s had the displeasure of interacting with, motivating him to keep trying that bit more.
HTe didn’t have to try hard to point out her subconscious lies, though. “~Not even you believe that. It wouldn’t hurt this much if they really didn’t care about you.~” It was a bluff Dan had no way of justifying at the moment, but to his unending relief, it struck true all the same.
The girl shook as she glared at him, shaking hands bundled into fists. Maybe that fucking weirdo was right; maybe they really cared about her as much as she did about them, but none of it mattered, none of it fucking mattered. “~S-so fuckin’ what!? I’ve still got no future; I’m fuckin’ broke and have nowhere to go and would just be doing them a fuckin’ service if they ended up with someone who c-can actually take care of them!~”
Time slowed to a crawl as Dan watched the stranger turn away from him, her mind trying to push through the thick layer of fear and do what it thought it had to. He shouted, “~WAIT! If you’ve nowhere to go, then you could crash at our place for a while!~”
Dan was well aware the offer was sleazy as fuck, but couldn’t think of—or actually help with—anything else. A heartbeat passed, then another, and the girl’s body began to unwind, shaking harder the more she thought about it. He felt the earlier snark creep in, sighing under his breath in relief.
“~Oh, making advances on an underage girl now?~”
He could tell she was joking, but it still left a foul taste in his mouth, making him recoil. “~No, of course not! If I could, I’d pay for a stay at a motel or something for a night or two, but... I’m kinda broke. And living with my dad,~” he admitted, calming down as he felt his words take root in her mind, bit by bit. Trying to cheer her up with her caliber of humor, he added, “~Besides, your mons can probably defend you from any creep you’d run into.~”
The slow, dry chuckles that left her mouth were some of the most strained sounds Dan had ever heard. The girl felt bad about the inappropriate joke for just a moment before another thought crept in to overrule it. She looked over her shoulder, staring at him as her adrenaline burned out, leaving her feeling cold and so, so fucking tired. The offer was good, almost too good to be true, and this guy wasn’t wrong either—anyone tried to touch her and Spots would lay them out.
She wasn’t sure if the lil’ Snubbull could even legally do that, but she knew damn well she’d do it, anyway.
Before she knew it, the stranger outstretched his gloved hand towards her, catching hundreds upon hundreds of raindrops as it waited to be grasped.
“~It hurts, it hurts so fucking much, I know. But you don’t have to go through it alone,~” he added, sticking his hand out that bit further, into her reach.
Even that sounded like some sappy cookie-cutter bullshit reassurance she’d seen so many times online, but... this time she felt the other side had actually meant it. It was almost too wild to consider, especially with how little of an idea she had about what could she even do instead with her trainer ‘career’ ending before it had even started. She was terrified in a way she almost never got; she almost turned right around to stop beating around the fuckin’ bush and just fucking do it—
But Spots and Noodles would be sad. She might’ve tried to gaslight herself into thinking that her friends ending up in someone else’s hand would truly be the best for them in the long term many times, but them ending up heartbroken over her doing what needed to be done was inarguable.
And she didn’t want to make them sad.
Her expression flinched as if struck as her tears mixed with rain, sobs too quiet to be audible over the downpour. She didn’t want to make them sad. In a moment of clarity, fleeting as it was, she looked at the stranger once more,
And grasped his hand.
Dan didn’t act as the girl hopped off the railing towards him, stumbling after she’d landed. If she wanted to do or say something, she would—and she did, moments later. Quiet sniffles gave way to heavier and heavier sobs as she leaned into him, almost too tired to even keep standing. He kept himself to patting her on the back a few times, letting the emotions flow as the plastic bag in his other hand threatened to slice his fingers off after being held for so long.
He wasn’t rushing, buuuut there was something he could do to drive the point he’d made earlier in. As the girl slowly regained her composure, he covertly pressed the buttons on both balls, ejecting their occupants. She swore under her breath and tried to straighten herself out as her friends jumped at suddenly being surrounded by freezing rain—but her diversion was for naught.
“~Hey hey, I’m alright you two, I-I promise!~” She pleaded as the two mons scooted up to her, their concern just as clear as her distress. They didn’t buy her excuses, clinging to her legs with quiet cries as she kept trying to put on a composed facade—to no use.
And soon, she realized it too.
She kneeled as her tears came back in vengeance, scooping the Snubbull and the Servine into her arms. Vines and short pink paws wrapped around her as she wept, wept and was consoled by her friends, constantly reassured about how much they cared for her.
Off to the side, Dan’s heart calmed down as he took the cutesy scene in, every little gesture of the three exchanging affection in the limited ways they could. Pets, fur ruffles, as large hugs as each of them could manage. All bathed in tears of release, tears of pain, in stress and fear that have been building up for months and wouldn’t be going away for at least just as long.
Despite everything, they still had each other.
Dan stayed quiet as the trio took their time, only briefly pulling his phone up to let his dad know he’d be late. As tired as they all were, none of them cared to stay out in rain this cold for long, speeding up the group’s affection and the girl’s efforts to get a grip on herself again. Once she was sure she was strong enough to stand up and walk, she reached out for her friends’ balls—only for the Servine to swat them away with a stray vine.
“~W-what? Noodles, what are—oh come on. I-it’s so cold, you two are gonna freeze out here!~” she pleaded. Unsuccessfully, if the two mons’ resolute head shakes were anything to go by. “~Fine, fine, you can stay out, hah. Alright, l-let’s get going I guess, can barely feel my legs anymore...~”
With the balls attached to her belt and the backpack on her shoulders again, the girl was ready to resume her journey from where it was supposed to end. Where to, she didn’t know. Both in the long-term sense of ‘what in the world am I gonna do with myself now’, and in the more relevant meaning of ‘where is this guy taking me’.
The latter at least got solved quickly.
Dan tilted his head for her to follow as he headed off, guiding her through a labyrinth of gloomy, nondescript streets with a haphazard mix of single-family houses and flats. “~I live a couple blocks down, won’t take long to get there. Oh, and name’s Dan,~” he added with a chuckle, hoping for the stranger to respond in kind.
“~Emma. Th-thanks Dan, I—I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t show up...~”
“~Ehhh, I have a guess.~”
The girl blinked a few times as she processed his words before breaking into the most undignified chuckle of her life, muttering out “~Oh god~” in between fits of tired laughter. Dan gave her a brief smile as he looked over his shoulder, glad she was feeling at least that bit better.
“~So, you from around here, Emma?~”
“~Nah, heh. I’m from Opelucid, I... this is gonna sound awful, but I came over here to try and find some easier opponents after I couldn’t take wins off anyone else anymore.~”
Dan rolled his eyes at the framing of ‘‘‘her’’’ not being able to win anymore, but didn’t comment on it beyond that—this wasn’t the time nor the place. Stripped of that unpleasant element, though, Emma’s justification was kinda amusing, at least. She might’ve been a trainer, but her mons really did care for her, taking that load off his conscience as he guided them to his block.
The apartment building had seen better days, and that was the absolute kindest phrasing Emma could think of once she saw it. Dark gray, flaking, stone-like facade revealed raw concrete and brick in many spots, and she could make out a couple of broken windows even despite the shoddy lighting. The sight made her recall Dan’s joke about her having her mons to protect her from creeps, as well as worry about it potentially being much more applicable than she would’ve ever imagined.
“~Hardly the prettiest place, I know—and no, it’s not any better on the inside. Hope you don’t mind climbing up a couple floors,~” Dan commented as he led her in. The staircase was similarly rundown as the outer facade, each of the spiraling stairs cracked somewhere along its length.
At least there wasn’t anyone else around.
A part of Emma hoped that the actual entrance to Dan’s home would be at least a bit more decorated, just to then end up disappointed at it being just as butt-ugly as every other square inch of this place. She could’ve sworn she had him chuckle right as she thought that, but was too tired to connect the two events together.
None of that mattered, anyway—they had finally made it.
“~Daaaaad, we’re home!~” Dan shouted as he led Emma in, immediately getting to taking his coat off—before stopping awkwardly. For a moment, Emma wanted to ask what had happened, but before she could, he’d resumed the mundane action, if much more slowly.
The room they stepped into seemed to have been doing triple duty as both the lobby, the living room, and the kitchen. A few potted plants aside, it was almost entirely undecorated—just a couch, a worn down table that Dan soon set the plastic bag he was holding on, a flat screen TV with bezels the size of her hand, and exactly nothing else in the ‘living room’ part.
Dan wasn’t joking with being broke, huh.
Emma shook off the thought as she slid out of the soaked clothes, trying to hang them as close to the cast iron radiator as she could. Her friends were already huddled up to it, basking in whatever warmth it could pour out, the sight bringing a smile to her face.
Which a very unpleasant realization soon dashed right off.
The girl shook uncomfortably as she kept sneaking glances at Dan, trying to catch him when he wasn’t looking at her. Once she did, she quickly took her scarf off and tried to pull up the collar of her t-shirt to cover her neck, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
Dan noticed.
“~Emma? What... are you doing?~”
Emma flinched at the question, hands clenching as her heartbeat spiked. Dan took half a step back at such a sudden reaction, worried that he’d inadvertently done something wrong. The girl knew there was no way to hide it, but... fuck.
She looked away in shame as she let go of her shirt, before flinching at how much her host was taken aback. Dozens upon dozens of slowly scarring claw marks on her neck, none of them lethal—but all of them painful, in all meanings of the word.
“~Good gods, what happened?~” Dan asked, and regretted it immediately.
As bad as she felt about her neck, being asked about that brought forth even more traumatized fear than when she was one stray step away from death. Her eyes unfocused as she stared at the floor, breaking into tears once more.
Something was wrong, so very wrong here, but Dan knew it wasn’t the time to pry into this. “~Hey hey, it’s alright. You don’t have to tell me. Could I at least clean it a bit?~” he asked, keeping his voice as neutral as can be. To his relief, she reacted to his words, nodding shakily as the storm of panicking thoughts in her head began to calm down.
At least she wouldn’t be judged for this.
Without saying a word, Dan guided her over to the bathroom and reached for the small bottle of peroxide. The room was just as barren as the rest of the building, but at least it was better maintained, and, most importantly, clean. As Dan washed his hands and fiddled with the plastic container, Emma could’ve sworn she glimpsed something yellow in the reflection instead of him. By the time she blinked and did a double take, though, it was just what she expected to see.
Any further thoughts about that were summarily derailed by all the burning coming from her neck soon after.
“~There, there, I know it hurts, but hopefully nothing will infect it. Have you seen anyone about this?~” Dan asked, and Emma had to use all the willpower she still had left to not laugh in his face.
“~’C-course not.~”
“~Would be a good idea to do that tomorrow, or whenever you feel comfortable. Anyhow—this is the shower, this is the shampoo and body wash, you can take the red towel if you want, sound good?~”
“~Y-yeah, thanks. L-lemme take something to change into...~”
“~Take your time, we’re not rushing.~”
Emma didn’t have to be told twice, but rushed regardless. The few kinda-fresh-enough clothes she still had in her backpack probably deserved a thorough wash themselves, but this wasn’t the time to worry about that.
It could happen tomorrow; today was just one of these days she had to endure.
Dan waited for the telltale sound of the door’s lock engaging before taking a deep sigh and half-sitting, half-falling onto the couch, no less exhausted than the teen. He leaned his head back and looked at the TV, grumbling as he saw the game he just bought snacks for wrap up its first half. Irrelevant when compared to what he had accomplished while on that grocery run, but annoying all the same.
Anywho, it was time to give a rundown about just that.
“^Hey dad,^” Dan mumbled telepathically as the old man rolled into the room. The same white cap with blue markings as when he’d first met him, the same beard. One fewer leg after a lifetime of smoking caught up to him, one more wheelchair, plenty more wrinkles and liver spots.
Underneath all that, the same analytic spirit, wanting to take in all the information surrounding their unexpected guest before making any decisions. “~Who is she?~” he asked, voice as dry as an ashtray.
“^I ran into her on my way back. She was about to jump from the bridge between Third and Circle Drive. Talked to her, seems she has nowhere to go,^” Dan explained as he reached into the plastic bag and pulled out a can of beer.
The old man took the explanation in before summing it up with one word, “~Rough. A trainer?~” he asked, looking over at the Servine and Snubbull huddling up to the radiator.
His son nodded in affirmation as he downed a couple gulps of cheap booze. “^Yeah, but not a willing one. From what I gathered, she couldn’t cut it and ended up flunking out. She’s underage too, unfortunately.^”
“~Gonna be an issue.~”
“^Yep,^” Dan commented as he laid out the rest of his grocery spoils, plastic wrappers of store-brand savory snacks gleaming in the TV’s bright light. Both of them knew there was a lot more to be said about what they would do going forward, but also that this wasn’t the time for it—especially with the background noise of the shower having stopped in the meantime.
A small cloud of vapor rolled out the door as Emma opened it soon after, stretching her aching body as much as she could. “~What’s up with that weird mon shampoo you got? It’s so weird and slimy, you guys even have any mons in here?~”
Dan disguised his surprise before answering, “~Uh, we used to but not anymore. Guess we forgot to toss it out.~”
Emma blinked, feeling a bit bad about her words as she walked over to the couch. “~Sorry, my condolences—oh. Uh, hello there, sir,~” she greeted the old man in a wheelchair, receiving a curt nod in return. He didn’t seem very talkative, perfect by her. She would’ve guessed him to be Dan’s grandfather, if anything, but there were few things she cared about less than the exact family tree of her hosts at the moment.
After all, there was a TV to gawk at instead.
Once the last of the advertisements slithered away, she was greeted by a sight of what was clearly a stadium, though decidedly not one for battles. Layers of seats surrounded the all-green pitch from all directions, and instead of a single line splitting it in half, there were many white lines delineating god-knows-what. Not to mention all the humans walking onto it. That was important, too.
“~Some kinda human sport?~” she asked as she reached for the unclaimed can of beer.
“~Yeah, soccer. Comes from Galar,~” Dan answered, not skipping a beat as he pulled the booze out of the girl’s grasp and replaced it with a pack of peanuts. Emma was almost too tired to notice the Switcheroo, limiting herself to an unamused look at Dan and getting a wink in response.
The room was plunged into silence once the game’s second half started—bit-crushed commentary and crinkling of wrappers aside. It wasn’t something the girl cared for much at all, but it provided a pleasant distraction, especially when accompanied by a steady stream of crunchy treats into her mouth hole.
And, of course, her friends once they had dried off.
One hand gently stroked Spots’s tummy as the other arm held Noodles close, their vines wrapping her as tightly as could be without crossing into discomfort. It was harder and harder to keep paying attention to what was happening on the screen as the game drew to a close and the plastic bags were emptied, warmth and something meal-adjacent combining into ever-creeping drowsiness.
And then, once the final whistle was blown, sleep.
As much as Dan had been looking forward to this match, it ended up being a wash. 3-0, what in the world was that goalkeeper doing—oh. He chuckled as his attention shifted away from the glowing screen, letting him notice the asleep teen next to him. Yeah, it was high time for some rest, for all of them. Once the trash was cleaned up and the TV turned off, Dan focused on finally undoing his disguise, maintained almost effortlessly after many years of practice.
The two mons didn’t catch onto that right away, too busy either trying to fall asleep or cuddling with their friend. What they did notice, though, was a pillow being psychiced in place beside them, then a blanket on their other side, and finally, their human being carefully levitated into the air. Before their surprise could give way to hostility, they heard a voice in their heads, “^Just moving her so that she can sleep comfortably.^”
Dan putting his disguise on and off a few times afterwards helped them complete the mental picture of the scene. They weren’t happy for that ‘human’ to have turned out to be a mon, but they and their human were much too tired to do anything about it beyond just going along with it. Which, considering that said action comprised them huddling to their friend under a soft blanket as the pretend human flicked the lights off and left to an adjacent room, wasn’t bad at all.
Not at all.
“~Still gnawing at you, isn’t it?~” the old man asked as he prepared his side of the spacious bed, before stopping to take his evening pills.
The Hypno he called son stared at the floor beside him, expression twisting as he couldn’t stop thinking. “^I mean, it’s hard not to think about it. Since I can’t just disappear once—once you die, dad, m-maybe if she hits eighteen in the meantime... no, no, what am I even saying. I’ve just fucking met her, it’d be such a dumb idea, b-but I can’t stop worrying about it, it’s just—^” Dan flinched at feeling a hand grasp his forearm, looking down to see his dad give the closest thing to a reassuring smile he was capable of.
“~Tomorrow. Another day, a clearer mind, we’re not hurrying anywhere.~”
Dan nodded, trying and only somewhat succeeding to release his tension with a deep breath. “^Yeah, that’d be for the best, sorry.^”
“~You’ve done a great deed today. I’m proud of you, Dan,~” his dad said, permitting himself a manly tear or two now that nobody else was looking.
His son wasted no time before kneeling beside him and holding him close, trying to keep his own emotions under control as his dad’s weathered, sinewy hands stroked the spot between his ears. “^I love you, dad.^”
“~I-I love you too, son.~”
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Also check out my other fic, Another Way!
Also also check out my series of shorts, The Alarm Goes Off at Six!
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