Fifth Anniversary Speed Catnip

[Negrek]

Fourth Anniversary Speed Catnip​

Speed catnip returns! This fast and furious event lets you sample several fics in a short period of time, while also getting super-quick feedback on your own stories. This event is always a load of fun, so I'm excited to bring it back for our fifth anniversary celebration!

How it Works

Come join us in the Discord server's Speed Catnip thread in the #reading-chat channel when the event kicks off. I'll roll random pairings between everyone who signs up, and then you'll have fifteen minutes to read your partner's excerpt and make a brief comment (three sentences tops!) on it. They'll read yours and do the same when they finish. If you've got extra time, you can chat a little bit or simply wait for the next assignment to be rolled. Once fifteen minutes is up, I'll randomize another set of pairings and start things over again! We'll play five rounds of this--sampling five fics in about an hour and a half real-time. Not bad, huh?

When Will the Event Take Place?

That's TBD depending on interest! Please fill out the timing poll if you're interested so we know what time would be best to accommodate our catnippers. I plan to announce the final date and time on Thursday, May 9th!

How to Sign Up

First, choose an excerpt of a larger story, one-shot, or combination of drabbles that works out to about 1000 words long. Since the speed catnip rolls will be made without regard for content warnings, please make sure your selection is PG in terms of subject matter and does not include any major content warnings--no violence or blood beyond what you'd see in a Pokémon battle in the anime, no major character death or suicide/suicidal ideation, sexual assault, or substance abuse. Post your excerpt below (or a link to it, if it's something like all the drabbles in a thread). That's it! After that, all you need to do is show up for the event.

If you have multiple fics and want to showcase more than one, you can prepare a second excerpt to offer an alternative choice for whoever rolls you to read. Since these rolls will not account for who's familiar with your story already, if there are people in the participant pool who are already caught up on your fic, it might be a good idea to have something available for anyone who's caught up on your story to enjoy. But this is all optional--to participate, all you need is one ~1k word snippet that meets the guidelines.

 

[IFBench]

My entry for speed catnip! 1090 words of recent excerpts from one of my Pokemon IRL blogs, zoruascanbetrainerstoo!

[The video starts of a young "human" with a Zorua tail walking through the Lavender Town Pokemon Tower. Xey are holding sweet pea, lillie, and rosemary flowers, along with a piece of paper. Something is drawn on the paper, though it's difficult to make out what.

Soon, Illanero reaches a spot in the tower with a sizeable amount of space between the graves. Xey set down the flowers, and the paper. On the paper is a child's drawing of a old human and a Zorua. They both look happy.

"...I'm sorry I didn't do anything like this sooner," xey said. "It hurt. It still reallyreally hurts."

"You were reallyreally nice to me, even after I revealed to you that I'm a Zorua," xey said. "I wish we could have had more time together. Maybe I'd have a second dad. But I only knew you for a few hours. I don't even know your special name."

A few tears began to fall.

"...I miss you," Illanero says, dropping the illusion. A Zorua is left curled up near the picture, crying.

The video ends.]

---

[A Zorua by a small pile of flowers stands up, and puts on xyr human illusion.

Now looking like a young human with a Zorua tail, xey begin to walk away, when a voice calls out.

"Illanero?" a human's voice says, as a human with spiky orange hair steps into view. Blue. "What are you doing here? One of your team died?"

"Nono! I...I was just paying my respects to someone," Illanero said, tail between xyr legs.

"Lost someone else, then?" Blue asked.

"...yesyes," Illanero said, looking down.

"I get it," Blue said. "But crying over it isn't gonna change much. You gotta stay strong for them, you know?"

"I..." Illanero began, before Blue cut xem off.

"Was planning on battling you next time I saw you," Blue said. "Doesn't feel right to do it here, though. ...especially after I just buried someone here."

"What do you mean?" Illanero asked.

"Had a bad run-in with some Rockets on the S.S. Anne," Blue said. "I won against them, but...Raticate ended up paying the price."

"Oh..." Illanero said, looking back up at Blue. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing you could have done, so don't go blaming yourself," Blue said, beginning to walk away. "Now come on, let's get out of here."

The video ends.]

---

[The video starts with the Game Corner in complete pandemonium.

Most of the "prize Pokemon" have been let loose, and a "human" with a Zorua tail is trying to free the rest of them.

The freed Pokemon are wreaking havoc on the Game Corner. Slot Machines smashed by a long tail, roulette tables obliterated by a Tri Attack.

Most of the patrons have fled by now, aside from the Rockets, and one human who was still stubbornly trying to gamble at one of the intact slot machines.

As Illanero tried to free a the last "prize Pokemon", an Eevee, a Rocket grunt grabbed at xyr tail, and said, "End of the line, kid! Raticate, Hyper Fang on his throat!"

Illanero yelped, and tried to squirm free, until a glowing Dratini smacked away the Rocket grunt.

Illanero said, "Thank you!" and freed the Eevee from his cage, as the Dratini evolved into a Dragonair.

A thrown slot machine smacked into one of the Rocket posters, and a mechanical whirring sound began. In a secluded corner of the Game Corner, the floor slid into the wall, revealing a hidden staircase.

"That might be some sort of secret Team Rocket base!" Illanero said, and ran towards the staircase. The Eevee and the Dragonair followed behind, as the Celadon Game Corner was torn apart.

The video ends.]

---

[A human with a Zorua tail is trekking through the Lavender Town Pokemon Tower.

As Illanero nears a staircase, the video begins to go to static. It's hard to make out what's visually happening.

However, sound still works fine. A voice can be heard, a Pokemon's voice, yet speaking human words.

"Why have you returned?"

"I heard that something weird was happening here since I was here!" Illanero says. "Was that you?"

"So you have come to mock us once again," the other voice says. "Was taking on their form not enough? Was putting a memorial to one of them in our tower not enough?"

"What do you mean?" Illanero asked.

"Humans," the other voice said. "This tower is a space for Pokemon to rest. Why, as one of our kind, have you disturbed that? Why did you create a memorial to a human here?"

"What's wrong with humans?" Illanero asked.

"Humans killed me! They tore my cub away from me!" the other voice said, anger in her tone. "How can you pretend to be one of them? How can you act like one of them? How can you make a memorial for one of them here, in this sacred place?"

There was a moment of silence, before she said, "Answer me!"

"I...humans are reallyreally weird," Illanero began, a bit of sadness in xyr voice. "I don't understand them at all. They do so many reallyreally weird things, they look reallyreally weird, and they're not Pokemon at all. But...they're not all bad. Most of them aren't bad. I met a lot of reallyreally nice humans, like Wally, Shauna, Nemona, Urbosa, Kooky, Mustard...and the human I made the memorial for."

Illanero continued, "He was reallyreally nice. I met him in Snowbelle City in Kalos, and he didn't care that I was a Zorua, he was just happy to be with someone. But...he died reallyreally soon after I met him."

"There's a lot of reallyreally bad humans, too. Team Aqua, Team Magma, Team Yell, Team Rocket, and more. But I think that there's more good humans than bad ones," Illanero finished.

"...I can't forgive them. Not after what they did to me. Not after what they did to my cub," the other voice said.

"I understand," Illanero said. Xey paused, then asked, "Did the humans who killed you have red symbols on them?"

"Yes. Red as the blood they spilled," the other voice said.

"That's Team Rocket. I defeated their boss yesterday, and I think I exposed one of their hideouts too," Illanero said. "I don't think they're gone yet, but I'm gonna defeat them for good!"

"...do you promise?" the other voice asked.

"I promise," Illanero answered.

"...thank you," the other voice said.

"Rest in peace, Marowak," Illanero said.

After a few seconds, the static finally fades, revealing Illanero alone in the tower.

The video ends.]

 

[canisaries]

here is my speed catnip entry!

I stare at the towel I've just hung on the drying rack. Strands of damp black hair dangle before my eyes, ever so slightly trembling.

The last part of my morning routine has finished, and now I've entered the wasteland once again.

Should I even go upstairs? Should I challenge myself to spend all day in the basement instead? Could be fun, in some kind of way. I could use that time to work more on that Helixian textbook. Even if I know it's completely useless, as I can't show it to anyone pre-ascension, and post-ascension I'd be able to just will the information into the brains of anyone I wanted…

Maybe I should pay HIM a visit instead.

No! No, I shouldn't. I shouldn't interrupt HIM - HE must be hard at work, making preparations and gathering strength. And if I saw HIM, HE might ask for another offering, and I wouldn't be able to say no even if it's only been a few weeks and I should wait longer to let the trail cool down… and lastly, I don't want to come to HIM while I still don't have that… one thing under control.

Right. It reminds me that I do still need to go upstairs to deal with something related to it. I guess my morning routine isn’t yet completed.

I climb the stairs back up to the ground floor and enter the kitchen. No sign of it yet, as I’ve come to expect. But it will come soon.

I open the cupboard and take out a can of cat food. I grab the tab and open it.

I can feel my heartbeat quicken as I count the seconds.

“Mrrow!”

And there it is.

I turn around to face him -- it. It stares back with big blue expectant eyes. It holds its snow-white tail upright in the shape of a question mark. The sight of it brings a warmth to my heart. But it shouldn’t. It fucking shouldn’t.

I slip a mental hand inside my ribcage and squeeze my heart. No feeling. No feeling of joy or affection or anything of the sort. You’re not allowed to see him -- it in that light anymore. As far as you’re concerned, it is just an animal. A pile of flesh and organs and white fur.

Clenching my jaw, I take a fork from the drawer and bring it and the can to the animal’s food bowl. It waits patiently as I scoop out the food and only rushes in once I’ve backed away. It scarfs it down happily as I place the fork in the sink and the can in the garbage.

I sigh. Seventeen more hours of this left.

Soft thumps come from upstairs. Abe’s up. It’s not long before the shaggy-haired, olive-skinned boy comes down the stairs.

“Morning,” he says.

“Mm,” I respond.

He walks over to the animal and strokes its back. “Morning, Mints.” He gets back up and steps up to the kitchen counter. I move out of the way, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

Suddenly, Abe flinches and turns to me. What?

“Oh, gosh, I forgot to remind you yesterday,” he says.

Remind…?

“Today’s your psych appointment.”

…Oh.

“Remember?” he continues. “The one we reserved two weeks --”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“I’m gonna come pick you up with a taxi at ten to three. Be at home and ready then, okay?”

Well… I’m not head over heels about getting my sanity questioned by some quack, but agreeing to see a shrink was clearly the only way to get Abe to shut up about it. Not to mention, giving a good performance will get me listed in the system as a completely normal and non-dangerous human being. And, of course, anything out of the ordinary is exciting by now, so goddamn it, sign me the fuck up.

“Yeah, I’ll be here,” I say.

Abe’s eyes adopt a rare sternness. “Do you promise? You have to go.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll go.” Gods, it’s like he’s calling me a ticking time bomb to my face. I guess that at least means he’s grown some guts.

“Good,” he says, like a parent, despite his young age of fifteen and lack of actual blood relation to me. “Oh, by the way, can you get some groceries if you’re not doing anything else by then?”

Two things to do today? Oh boy, I’m being spoiled. “Sure.”

“Good.” He turns back to the counter and starts to prepare his breakfast, which is a sandwich, as it always is. I direct my attention to the half-finished crossword on the table and tune out whatever he’s doing. It’s only once he’s leaving that I look back up, and that’s just because he called my name.

“Yeah?” I ask.

“Remember the appointment, okay?”

“Yeah.”

He frowns slightly. “When did I tell you to be here?”

“Ten to three.”

He nods, satisfied with my response. “Good. That’s correct.” He picks up his backpack and hoists it onto his back. “Alright. See you then.”

“Yeah, see you.”

“And don’t forget to go to the store as well,” he adds.

It’s already slipped my mind. “I won’t.”

“Alright. See you,” he repeats. I don’t repeat my goodbye. He exits, and the house falls silent.

Sighing, I get up. Might as well take that grocery trip right away.

I gather everything I need - grocery list off the microwave, my old backpack from its corner in the living room, house keys from the hall and my trusty knife from my room upstairs. Well, I guess I don’t need the knife, this town being the idyllic little paradise it is, but it’s the only part of my true self I can actually show in public. The airholes in my sheepskin disguise.

And with that, I leave the house. Welcoming me to the outside is a cold, gray sky. Right.

I forgot this was just another day.

 

[Negrek]

My excerpt for Speed Catnip! From "Peregrine."

Spoiler: Excerpt

There weren't even any guards, nothing but a couple of warning signs and a rusted-out fence. Wes would have preferred more security, really. Better chance that he'd have the place to himself.

Well, technically he'd never have that, with Rui following him. But by this point she hardly counted.

"We don't have to do this here, you know," she said for what had to be the hundredth time. "They won’t care. It's not like this is their home." She was already ducking through the fence after him, her words hushed. The remains of the tower loomed overhead, deep shadows pooling in its empty windows, broken beams bone-white under the moon.

Wes didn't reply, hands in the pockets of his jacket as he walked straight up to the building's ancient wooden doors. They’d been nailed shut with boards that looked nearly as ancient, but they still held. It was Umbreon, flickering in and out of shadow, who found the easy way in, a low and empty window, the bars across it long since splintered away.

"Do we really have to go inside?" Rui asked, still in that near-whisper. "Why not let them out here? You know they're only going to run off."

"Probably," Wes said. Three pokéballs clacked together beneath his fingers, deep in his pocket. "This is where they belong, though. We've come all this way. We might as well do things properly."

There was something almost familiar about the tower. Not the humid night air, no, or the sound of crickets from the grass. Wes still wasn't over how green Johto was, so much so that even the air smelled different, like all the plants around him were breathing out at once.

But this broken-down building, the graffiti carved into its boards, the odd bright-colored scrap of rubbish blown into a corner--those were familiar enough. Wes knew neglect. It was strange to think that creatures like the ones in his pocket would ever come from such a decrepit place as this.

Inside, the light from Umbreon's rings showed broken furniture and hole-scored floorboards in stark relief. Wes thought he could hear someone murmuring far off, perhaps in some alcove he couldn't see, and tensed. He still kept a knife with him, of course, not to mention Umbreon and Espeon and a few of the others who hadn't wanted to leave. Despite how much he told himself he was scarier than anything that could be hiding in this darkness, his body remembered the old days.

The murmuring noise came again, closer. Umbreon growled, fur bristling, and a moment later a huge grin swam at Wes out of the gloom. The smile split open in a spectral laugh, an overlong tongue flapping grotesquely, and Wes relaxed when he realized, oh, yeah, a gastly, wasn't it? He didn't even need to signal for Umbreon to chase it off.

That was something else Wes hadn't gotten used to. So many pokémon. Pokémon everywhere. Living with humans, living in the wild. Cramming every free corner, even a tumbledown ruin like this.

"Well, we're inside now," Rui said. "Shall we get this over with?"

"What? You're not afraid of ghosts, are you?"

"I'm afraid of breaking my neck when the floor goes out from under me."

"Umbreon'll keep an eye out for you." Wes ventured further into the room, boots ringing hollow on what he had to admit felt like rickety floorboards.

"What are you looking for?" Rui asked. Her footsteps sounded behind him. Of course. She was never not going to follow.

"I'll know it when I see it."

There were other people here. No voices, but now and again a shadow-shape, the glow of a cigarette--too high off the ground to be a magmar, now that Wes had seen and gotten over his surprise at finding those roaming around here. If Rui noticed anything, she gave no sign. Wes still wasn't sure whether she'd learned to see danger the way he had.

The tower wasn't large, now that all but a couple of floors had disintegrated into ash. Not much space to search. About the only way to go was down, putting altogether too much faith in the rickety ladder leaned against the edge of a hole in the floor that gaped into darkness.

"You can't be serious," Rui muttered as Wes started down. She knew he was serious.

Even before his eyes adjusted, Wes knew he'd found the right place. The basement smelled earthy, almost rotten, a scent that reminded Wes of the Relic Stone. Here there were no green things growing, none of the water that ran like blood through Agate Village, but there was the same feeling of something ancient, something of a different time.

His PDA lit up the remains of an altar, probably restored sometime after the building burned but since fallen back into disuse. It was draped in dark, rotting fabric, the wall behind adorned with the shredded remains of tapestries. Here and there stars gleamed where the holes in the floor overhead lined up with the holes in the tower's walls.

Rui could feel it too, of course. "This is the place," she said. Wes pulled the pokéballs from his pocket and released them all at once by way of reply.

The flash of light was blinding, and Wes cursed himself for not closing his eyes before pulling a stunt like that. He had to school himself not to flinch and only stand there, blinking furiously until the basement resolved around him again. Stand there despite the overwhelming presence of the pokémon, the smoky scent that filled the air around Entei, the fizz of sparks through Raikou's fur, the gentle breeze that stirred whereve Suicune passed. Wes couldn't hear Umbreon, but he knew the dark-type would be at his side. Not ready to fight, not when he'd had to accept these pokémon as teammates already, but always alert, as prepared for trouble as Wes.

As his vision returned Wes found the pokémon shaking off disorientation, blinking around at the dark of the basement, shifting on their huge paws. They'd instinctively bunched in a half-circle, but surely they knew this place. They must be able to smell that they were back in Johto, in their old home, exactly as Wes had promised them.

 

[Panoramic_Vacuum]

Unreleased snip from another short story collection doc:

Spoiler: Roxanne's Day Off

“First, the conference I was looking forward to attending all year was canceled. Then, the postal service lost my shipment of textbooks for next semester’s class. And then, to top it all off, one of my students got gum not just on his desk, and my desk, but in my hair!”

Roxanne was red in the face and breathing heavy by the time she’d finished her rant. She took a deep breath in, smoothed the wrinkles in her skirt, and then exhaled.

“So you can see why I’m just so flustered! This week, I swear!”

Northwest, her Nosepass, stared at her blankly, tilting on one foot, then the other. Her nose shifted a few degrees west of north, and Roxanne broke into a smile.

Kneeling down, she wrapped her partner up in a hug. “I knew you’d understand.”

Northwest waited patiently for Roxanne to finish her hug, then let out a small hum.

“No, you’re right. I should do something to relax. Too much tension is bad for the brain. A sound mind needs a low stress environment. The problem is,” Roxanne rested a finger against the side of her cheek, “I can’t even remember the last time I had some ‘me’ time.”

There was a bump against Roxanne’s leg, and then another. Northwest was nudging her out of the study. Roxanne moved along with her Nosepass’s gentle bumps, still lost in thought.

“I don’t know what to do to relax? Sometimes I read an academic journal, or grade some papers, those are both relaxing, right?”

The next bump against her leg was a bit harder.

“Okay, well what about going shopping? I could always use a new outfit for school.”

Northwest grunted as she nudged Roxanne past the foyer.

“Hm, well, maybe I could give Flannery a call? See what she’s up to, see if she’d want to meet up for drinks?”

With a push of her magnetic field, Northwest slid Roxanne’s phone off the countertop and into her bag. Roxanne put her foot down and stared down at her pokemon as she nudged against Roxanne’s leg to no avail.

“I’m all out of ideas, Northy. You’re going to have to tell me what you have in mind because I don’t have any more guesses.”

Northwest gazed up at her trainer, vibrating gently. Then, her nose swung slightly left, pointing down the hallway of their apartment. Roxanne turned to where Northwest was looking.

“The bathroom?” she asked. “But I managed to get all the gum out of my hair already. I’m not sure—”

She was cut off as Northwest ignored her, shuffling down the hallway by herself and turning into the bathroom. The thunk of a cabinet opening and quiet rustling echoed down the hallway. Roxanne waited, expecting Northwest to return, but when her pokemon didn’t reemerge, curiosity won out and she padded down the hallway after her.

Roxanne poked her head into the bathroom, and her eyes went wide at the realization of her partner’s plan. Laid out on the edge of the bathtub was everything she needed for a personal spa day. A colorful array of soaps and scents were tucked in the middle of a fluffy towel, including the bath bomb she’d been saving for a special occasion (which had been so long ago she entirely had forgotten about it), while a soothing candle was already lit at the corner of the tub. The warm scent of vanilla and spice was already filling the room. Northwest was busy stretching for the tap handle, teetering on her toes but not quite reaching the knob.

“Here, Northy,” said Roxanne, brushing a gentle hand against her pokemon’s head, “I’ll get the water.”

Northwest rocked back onto solid ground with a clunk and a hum, already starting to reach for the bath bomb, when she was stopped by Roxanne’s warm embrace.

“You’ve already done so much. I’m sorry I was so dense.” The sound of the running water drowned out Northwest’s quiet humming, but Roxanne could feel it against her cheek. “You’re absolutely right. A bath is a wonderful idea.”