Time to embark on a grand adventure throughout the Unova region! The land of unity and diversity, where truth clashes against ideals. An intrepid trainer will set off on their journey, and we, the audience, will get to watch as that journey gets horribly derailed thanks to the efforts of our team of authors, each of whom only had access to the final two lines written by the author preceding them!
Below are the authors who brought this glorious journey to life, in random order:
The writer of each segment will be spoil-tagged at the bottom of each segment, in case you want to try to guess who was responsible for each piece. Please feel free to comment on the resulting story, regardless of whether you were a participant or not! I think we're all eager to see the reactions to the twists and turns this story will take. And now, without further ado~
Below are the authors who brought this glorious journey to life, in random order:
Persephone
Keleri
Caliburn
GrayGriffin
The Walrein
Negrek
qva
Dragonfree
Umbra
Raggy
Keleri
Caliburn
GrayGriffin
The Walrein
Negrek
qva
Dragonfree
Umbra
Raggy
Thousand Roads' Exquisite Corpse 2019
Unova Trainer Fic
Unova Trainer Fic
For a moment I was worried.
Am I Drinking Blood?
A moment passed before I realized to my relief that it couldn’t be possible; blood would make the water red not brown. As another surge of water washed over my face, the bitter iron taste in my mouth felt strangely comforting.
“You know I...” My voice trailed off as I felt a wave of melancholy. Lazarus looked at me curiously as my face contorted. Distant thunder punctuated my agony.
“I love you. So much.” I gently caressed his face with my hands, tears welling up in my eyes.
The Basculin seemed happy in comparison. Lazarus had never seemed as violent as his species was purported to be. Maybe he’s a softie. Or maybe I have good charisma.
I sniffed, “You did this you know.” I held up the toxic badge, light reflecting wildly off it as my hand trembled. “You’ve done so much for me, I just- I can never repay you.”
Lazarus wiggled a little in my grip. He stared at me with his beady eyes while I picked at one of his fins. It sounded like he was making some sort of cat noise.
“I’m not supposed to think like that am I?” I stared at the deep grey clouds that streaked across the sky, an unearthly silence filling the air. A summer storm was coming, the kind that opened the earth like an egg for just a moment before disappearing into the abyss. There was a lingering heavy feeling that you could almost cut with a knife.
Lazarus wouldn’t answer me.
I deserved the silent treatment anyway.
“That’s right,” I said quietly. “We did it. That’s what you think isn’t it?”
A vicious rumble echoed as a mighty wind whipped the trees. I didn’t feel scared. That would be wrong.
Breathe deep.
You are immortal.
There’s blood on the toxic badge again.
I hate nosebleeds. I really really hate them. Lazarus never gets nosebleeds. I don’t think he has a nose. He probably bleeds though.
“Are you alright?”
The new voice parted the air, thick and coarse like a stick of butter someone dropped in gravel. I panicked a little, dunking the badge in the water and wiping my nose with my arm. Thankfully the badge looked clean. My arm was a little bloody, but that didn’t matter.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” I looked up to see a man on fire. He looked down at me with a knowing smile. It was extremely irritating, he couldn’t have known a thing, but he still pretended he did.
“Does it hurt?” I asked.
The man turned in a circle before looking back down, “You’re asking me?”
“Yeah, you’re on fire. Is that like a Pokemon move or something?” I tried my best to hide my bloody arm behind Lazarus.
He was silent for a moment. “I’m sure it would be interesting to be uh- ‘on fire’ as you put it, but I can assure you I’m not.”
Was he putting on a brave face for my sake? I could barely believe someone would care about my peace of mind. I wondered if it was healthy to feel sad and indignant at the same time.
“Oh. Oh. Oh- oh oh... oh.” I beamed at the man on fire. “You’re so...”
“I think we need to find you some help,” he said.
I was seized by a rush of energy. I grasped Lazarus with both hands and presented him to the man.
“This is- this is my friend Lazarus. One day he’ll be the strongest Pokemon ever.”
The man on fire nodded slowly. “I’m sure he will. You clearly are very passionate. Though, is your arm bleeding?”
“I’ve been a fool this whole time,” I said excitedly. “Lazarus has been trying to tell me all along, but I wouldn’t listen.”
“Is that why you’ve been lying in a drainage ditch?”
I ignored the man.
“We did it! We won!” I whirled on the man. He seemed confused as I continued. “I was cruel you know. I couldn’t see the truth.”
The man on fire held out a hand. “That’s wonderful. Why don’t you come with me? We can talk more about this later.”
It was a test. I realized that the universe was watching to see if my resolve was true.
Slowly, I held up my own hand, tracing the lines on my palm. I looked at the man. He looked back at me. I glanced down to Lazarus, who seemed to nod. Steeling my heart, I reached out.
I high-fived him.
A roar erupted from the sky as a divine bolt of lightning showered the forest in light. Rain poured from the sky in jubilant celebration as I burst into a run, scooping Lazarus into my arms as I ran.
I was fire. I was wind. I was Lazarus. Lazarus was me. The trees flashed by as I ran faster and faster. I looked at the Basculin in my arms. He seemed to smile at me.
Faster.
Faster.
Then I tripped. As I lay face first in the mud, Lazarus wormed his way out from under me. I locked eyes with the fish as he flopped to face me. I couldn’t help but laugh.
-----
Pokémon:
Am I Drinking Blood?
A moment passed before I realized to my relief that it couldn’t be possible; blood would make the water red not brown. As another surge of water washed over my face, the bitter iron taste in my mouth felt strangely comforting.
“You know I...” My voice trailed off as I felt a wave of melancholy. Lazarus looked at me curiously as my face contorted. Distant thunder punctuated my agony.
“I love you. So much.” I gently caressed his face with my hands, tears welling up in my eyes.
The Basculin seemed happy in comparison. Lazarus had never seemed as violent as his species was purported to be. Maybe he’s a softie. Or maybe I have good charisma.
I sniffed, “You did this you know.” I held up the toxic badge, light reflecting wildly off it as my hand trembled. “You’ve done so much for me, I just- I can never repay you.”
Lazarus wiggled a little in my grip. He stared at me with his beady eyes while I picked at one of his fins. It sounded like he was making some sort of cat noise.
“I’m not supposed to think like that am I?” I stared at the deep grey clouds that streaked across the sky, an unearthly silence filling the air. A summer storm was coming, the kind that opened the earth like an egg for just a moment before disappearing into the abyss. There was a lingering heavy feeling that you could almost cut with a knife.
Lazarus wouldn’t answer me.
I deserved the silent treatment anyway.
“That’s right,” I said quietly. “We did it. That’s what you think isn’t it?”
A vicious rumble echoed as a mighty wind whipped the trees. I didn’t feel scared. That would be wrong.
Breathe deep.
You are immortal.
There’s blood on the toxic badge again.
I hate nosebleeds. I really really hate them. Lazarus never gets nosebleeds. I don’t think he has a nose. He probably bleeds though.
“Are you alright?”
The new voice parted the air, thick and coarse like a stick of butter someone dropped in gravel. I panicked a little, dunking the badge in the water and wiping my nose with my arm. Thankfully the badge looked clean. My arm was a little bloody, but that didn’t matter.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” I looked up to see a man on fire. He looked down at me with a knowing smile. It was extremely irritating, he couldn’t have known a thing, but he still pretended he did.
“Does it hurt?” I asked.
The man turned in a circle before looking back down, “You’re asking me?”
“Yeah, you’re on fire. Is that like a Pokemon move or something?” I tried my best to hide my bloody arm behind Lazarus.
He was silent for a moment. “I’m sure it would be interesting to be uh- ‘on fire’ as you put it, but I can assure you I’m not.”
Was he putting on a brave face for my sake? I could barely believe someone would care about my peace of mind. I wondered if it was healthy to feel sad and indignant at the same time.
“Oh. Oh. Oh- oh oh... oh.” I beamed at the man on fire. “You’re so...”
“I think we need to find you some help,” he said.
I was seized by a rush of energy. I grasped Lazarus with both hands and presented him to the man.
“This is- this is my friend Lazarus. One day he’ll be the strongest Pokemon ever.”
The man on fire nodded slowly. “I’m sure he will. You clearly are very passionate. Though, is your arm bleeding?”
“I’ve been a fool this whole time,” I said excitedly. “Lazarus has been trying to tell me all along, but I wouldn’t listen.”
“Is that why you’ve been lying in a drainage ditch?”
I ignored the man.
“We did it! We won!” I whirled on the man. He seemed confused as I continued. “I was cruel you know. I couldn’t see the truth.”
The man on fire held out a hand. “That’s wonderful. Why don’t you come with me? We can talk more about this later.”
It was a test. I realized that the universe was watching to see if my resolve was true.
Slowly, I held up my own hand, tracing the lines on my palm. I looked at the man. He looked back at me. I glanced down to Lazarus, who seemed to nod. Steeling my heart, I reached out.
I high-fived him.
A roar erupted from the sky as a divine bolt of lightning showered the forest in light. Rain poured from the sky in jubilant celebration as I burst into a run, scooping Lazarus into my arms as I ran.
I was fire. I was wind. I was Lazarus. Lazarus was me. The trees flashed by as I ran faster and faster. I looked at the Basculin in my arms. He seemed to smile at me.
Faster.
Faster.
Then I tripped. As I lay face first in the mud, Lazarus wormed his way out from under me. I locked eyes with the fish as he flopped to face me. I couldn’t help but laugh.
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Badges: 2 (Basic, Toxic)Raggy
As my chuckles subsided, I took a deep breath and rolled over. "Well," I said, standing tall and dusting myself off, "the mud is no place for the future Unova region champion, or his trusty fish accomplice." Lazarus continued to flop pathetically, not looking much better off than he was moments ago, when he lay in the mud crushed beneath my body weight. "There's only one way to go from here!" I declared, awfully triumphant for someone caked in muck, and continued walking forward, my piscine friend flopping at my heels.
Now that we were back on the path, it was only a matter of time until we arrived at the nearby town. I couldn't help but admire the tall, arched trees that stooped to form a natural canopy over the well-worn route. Sunlight filtered through the leaves, painting the moist path with flecks of gold. Insects and birds chirped in the background, complimenting my footfalls and the earthy smacking sound of Lazarus' body bouncing off the ground. With a sigh of relaxation, I reflected that this is what being a trainer was all about— the dirt under your fingernails, the breeze and sun at your back, and the long days spent outside, united with nature. This was the existence I'd dreamed of since I was a boy, and certainly one I could envision myself growing old—
"Yow!"
Just like that, I was in the mud again. I scuttled backward, flailing my feet and failing to find purchase on the ground as I slid backward. A shadow loomed over my fallen figure, and my eyes ran up its length, until resting on the face at its pinnacle. Standing over me with an insufferable smirk and a Poké Ball in hand was my bully and long-time rival Gus "Jerkbag" "Slo-Roll" "the Flame" Johnson.
"Fancy meeting you here, idiot chumpface," he sneered as a gappy, vacant grin split his freckled face.
-----
Pokémon:
Now that we were back on the path, it was only a matter of time until we arrived at the nearby town. I couldn't help but admire the tall, arched trees that stooped to form a natural canopy over the well-worn route. Sunlight filtered through the leaves, painting the moist path with flecks of gold. Insects and birds chirped in the background, complimenting my footfalls and the earthy smacking sound of Lazarus' body bouncing off the ground. With a sigh of relaxation, I reflected that this is what being a trainer was all about— the dirt under your fingernails, the breeze and sun at your back, and the long days spent outside, united with nature. This was the existence I'd dreamed of since I was a boy, and certainly one I could envision myself growing old—
"Yow!"
Just like that, I was in the mud again. I scuttled backward, flailing my feet and failing to find purchase on the ground as I slid backward. A shadow loomed over my fallen figure, and my eyes ran up its length, until resting on the face at its pinnacle. Standing over me with an insufferable smirk and a Poké Ball in hand was my bully and long-time rival Gus "Jerkbag" "Slo-Roll" "the Flame" Johnson.
"Fancy meeting you here, idiot chumpface," he sneered as a gappy, vacant grin split his freckled face.
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Badges: 2 (Basic, Toxic)qva
The man standing across from Gus drew a sharp, startled breath and took a step backwards. “H- how did you know my name?” Idiot Chumpface asked.
“You were the man who destroyed my childhood. Don’t be surprised that I took time to learn some things about you,” Gus replied, still grinning in that particular manner of his. Or at least, so I assumed. I couldn’t see very much of him through the thin gap from which I was peering out onto the roof of the apartment building, but all the times I watched him smile after grounding my Pokemon into the dust made me very familiar with that expression.
At least this time someone else was on the receiving end of that smug face. “Look, kid, you- You have to understand, that what happened to you was a mistake. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but-”
“If it was a mistake, then why don’t you stop running away from me and fix it?” Gus snarled.
“It’s not that simple!” the man protested. “Let me explain. My mother gave me that name because of… some strange belief in “ironic nominative determinism”, I think. I don’t really know. Ma didn’t stick around for very long. But the name did. I grew up in a small town and everyone knew I was really “Idiot Chumpface”, no matter what else I tried to make people call me. So I grew up hating my name, and all the other kids around too, I guess, until one day I heard that Danny, the boy who lived next door to me, had caught a Pidove and named it Splat ‘cause it kept flying into windows. Well, I got in this big argument with Danny about how mean that name was to the Pidove, and then it happened - the poor bird had just happened to flutter up to us, and I took one look at it and said, ‘Your name is Striver now’. And so it was! I had become a name-rater, with the power to change the name of anyone, be they human or Pokemon. So I decided to leave that little town and travel across Unova, vowing to use my powers to stop anyone else from ever having to suffer a name as crummy as mine. And that was when I met you...” Idiot sighed and paused, weighing his next words.
“See, back then, my name rater powers, I couldn’t always control them. Sometimes there’d just be these… outbursts where I suddenly sprayed names around at random, giving everyone within twenty paces another nickname or two. That was what happened to you – I swear on my mother’s grave I never meant to give you the name “jerkbag”. I’m sorry, Gus. I really am. But no matter how hard I try, I can only ever get my power to work on someone one time! I can’t take away that terrible nickname of yours! That’s why I was never able to face you- because I didn’t want to have to tell you that! I’m sorry!”
Gus was livid. “So I spent all this time tracking you down for nothing? ‘I’m sorry?’ That’s it? That’s all I get?” A strong breeze was blowing through the Castelian neighborhood now, making Gus’ jacket flap wildly about. His hand was still clenched around the Pokeball containing the Woobat he’d used to track the name-rater’s scent.
“I mean- I’m not the only name rater in the world. I don’t know any of the others, but maybe one of them could help you,” Idiot Chumpface said, his voice almost too quiet to hear over the wind. Gus took a single step forward, then stopped. A long moment of silence followed.
“...alright! Alright then, I’ll just go to frickin’ Kalos or whatever and look for another name-rater there!” Gus said at last. “Frick...” He turned away from Idiot, who looked rather relieved at this development.
I took this as my cue to leave. As carefully as I could, I lowered the trap-door to the roof into its closed position and then hastened down the almost ladder-like stairs leading up to it. No one else was in the hallways of the dilapidated apartment building as I made my way to the ground floor. Just as I thought I had made a clean get-away, though, I heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs above me, and I broke into a sprint. A wave of cool night air struck me as I raced out the front door to the building.
Then, I paused and stood awkwardly out in the middle of the street. Which way had I come from, again?
“Hey!” I heard Gus shouting from behind me, and I turned around. “What the hell are you doing here? Did you follow me?” he asked, thrusting an accusing finger in my direction.
No point denying it now. “Yes,” I said. “You just… looked really angry when you left, so...”
“What, did you think I was going to frickin’ murder him or something? Get a grip, Hans.”
“...yeah, I guess it does sound kind of stupid when you say it like that,” I mumbled, although I had honestly been seriously worried about what he was going to do after hearing what Idiot said.
“Of course it’s stupid! You-” Gus started, but then a guttural, hooting cry pierced the air. “What-” he broke off as the call repeated itself, and Gus fell silent for a moment as we both tried to determine the source of it. It seemed to be coming from a narrow alley right next to the building we had just left.
I hesitated, then started to head towards the noise. Gus said something under his breath and followed after me, a white flash visible from the corner of my eye as he released his Woobat, Terry. The wind hadn’t yet pushed away the thick clouds obscuring the sky, but a flickering streetlight provided enough illumination for me to dimly make out what was going on when I looked into the alleyway. A man and a woman wearing the distinctive uniforms of Neo Team Plasma were standing by a Gurdurr clutching a shortened length of steel I-beam. The woman held a struggling Pidove in her hands, pressing it against the tip of the I-beam while the man was squirting something onto the creature’s feet.
“What the frick are you doing to that Pidove?” Gus yelled, drawing their attention.
“Ah! An audience for our miraculous transformation!” the man said, spreading his arms wide. “You are about to witness the birth of a new Pokemon species, brought on by the powerful fusion technology of the revived Team Plasma!”
“We’re gluing it to this Gurdurr’s beam! We’re gonna call it a Gurrdove!” the woman clarified. There was a manic glee in her voice.
“WHY?!” Gus asked.
“The old Team Plasma foolishly tried to separate Pokemon from humanity, not realizing the awesome power that comes from mutual cooperation and togetherness! But the new Team Plasma embraces that potential to its fullest, developing powerful new technologies for fusing together organisms into a single, unified whole! What are you witnessing here is merely but one of a long line of experiments destined to bring about the ultimate realization of harmony between our species and Pokemon!”
I finally gathered myself enough to speak up, having been staring in astonishment ever since I entered the alley. “By gluing a Pidove to a metal beam? That’s crazy! You’re crazy!”
“No, it is those who cannot see the potential of fusion who are truly mad! Before long, we will have the power to fuse together even the gods themselves!” the man said, gesticulating wildly. Throughout all this, the Pidove had been continuing to squawk and flap its wings wildly. But it seemed like whatever glue the Plasma man had been using was incredibly effective and quick-setting, because it didn’t appear to be able to move its feet at all when the woman gingerly removed her grip on it and stepped backwards.
“It’s working, it’s working! Gurrdove is born!” she said. The Gurdurr hoisted the I-beam into the air triumphantly.
“No! Just let it go!” Gus demanded, tossing out his second Pokeball, which released his own Gurdurr, Pamela, in a burst of light. I followed suit, sending out my Snivy, Kyocera.
“NEVER! Go, Patloin!” the woman replied, deploying her own Pokeball. The light faded to reveal a larger than average Purrloin with a ragged-looking Patrat duct-taped to its back.
“H- how did you get them both in the same Pokeball?” I said, bewildered.
“Patloin is the ultimate combination of Patrat, the Pokemon whose powerful eyes sees everything, and Purrloin, the stealthy Pokemon who can evade all vision! Together, they are both undetectable and undetectable-detecting, an unstoppable combination! Now attack, Gurrdove, Patloin! Let the streets of Castelia run red with the blood of the non-believers!”
The Gurdurr roared and sprang forwards, swinging the Pidove-topped I-beam at Gus’ Gurdurr. She barely managed to deflect the blow with her own beam, splitting the night sky with the ring of metal upon metal.
“Pam, fight defensively! Terry, confusion!” Gus barked.
I figured I had better give Kyocera an order too. “Kyocera, try, uh, try cutting the tape on that Patrat and Purrloin with your leaf blade!” The Snivy nodded and skittered forwards, the edge of her tail already beginning to glow with the power of the move.
Meanwhile, Terry the Woobat had fluttered into position above Team Plasma’s Gurdurr, charging power for a confusion attack while the fighting-type thrust the Pidove at its conspecific’s head in a series of quick jabs. Before it could unleash the psychic attack, though, the Purrloin snarled and knocked it out of the air with a savage dark pulse, channeling all its frustration with having to deal with a Patrat duct-taped to it constantly, even inside its own Pokeball. As the Woobat tried to regain altitude, the Purrloin nailed him with a second dark pulse, forcing Gus to swear and recall the battered Pokemon.
When I turned my attention back towards Kyocera, I noticed that she had stopped short in front of the “Patloin”, staring gormlessly into the Patrat’s eyes. Hypnosis! “Kyocera, wake up!” I yelled, but to no avail.
A loud clang echoed as Pamela’s I-beam dropped to the ground, having been ripped out of her hands by Plasma’s Gurdurr. Apparently, the frantic squawking of the Pidove had counted as its growl attack, causing Pamela to gradually weaken as it was repeatedly waved in her face. Now she was trying to fend off the other Gurdurr’s attacks with her arms alone. I turned back to Kyocera in time to see the Plasma woman run up and deliver a full-force kick to her neck just as she was starting to come out of the hypnosis. “Boo-yah!” the woman yelled as the Snivy collapsed to the ground, clutching her neck and emitting strangled coughs.
“No!” I yelled and quickly recalled my Pokemon before the woman finished her follow-up kick.
...were we actually losing to Team Plasma? Were we going to get murdered by a Gurdurr with a Pidove glued to the end of its I-beam and by a Patrat duct-taped to a Purrloin?
-----
Pokémon:
“You were the man who destroyed my childhood. Don’t be surprised that I took time to learn some things about you,” Gus replied, still grinning in that particular manner of his. Or at least, so I assumed. I couldn’t see very much of him through the thin gap from which I was peering out onto the roof of the apartment building, but all the times I watched him smile after grounding my Pokemon into the dust made me very familiar with that expression.
At least this time someone else was on the receiving end of that smug face. “Look, kid, you- You have to understand, that what happened to you was a mistake. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but-”
“If it was a mistake, then why don’t you stop running away from me and fix it?” Gus snarled.
“It’s not that simple!” the man protested. “Let me explain. My mother gave me that name because of… some strange belief in “ironic nominative determinism”, I think. I don’t really know. Ma didn’t stick around for very long. But the name did. I grew up in a small town and everyone knew I was really “Idiot Chumpface”, no matter what else I tried to make people call me. So I grew up hating my name, and all the other kids around too, I guess, until one day I heard that Danny, the boy who lived next door to me, had caught a Pidove and named it Splat ‘cause it kept flying into windows. Well, I got in this big argument with Danny about how mean that name was to the Pidove, and then it happened - the poor bird had just happened to flutter up to us, and I took one look at it and said, ‘Your name is Striver now’. And so it was! I had become a name-rater, with the power to change the name of anyone, be they human or Pokemon. So I decided to leave that little town and travel across Unova, vowing to use my powers to stop anyone else from ever having to suffer a name as crummy as mine. And that was when I met you...” Idiot sighed and paused, weighing his next words.
“See, back then, my name rater powers, I couldn’t always control them. Sometimes there’d just be these… outbursts where I suddenly sprayed names around at random, giving everyone within twenty paces another nickname or two. That was what happened to you – I swear on my mother’s grave I never meant to give you the name “jerkbag”. I’m sorry, Gus. I really am. But no matter how hard I try, I can only ever get my power to work on someone one time! I can’t take away that terrible nickname of yours! That’s why I was never able to face you- because I didn’t want to have to tell you that! I’m sorry!”
Gus was livid. “So I spent all this time tracking you down for nothing? ‘I’m sorry?’ That’s it? That’s all I get?” A strong breeze was blowing through the Castelian neighborhood now, making Gus’ jacket flap wildly about. His hand was still clenched around the Pokeball containing the Woobat he’d used to track the name-rater’s scent.
“I mean- I’m not the only name rater in the world. I don’t know any of the others, but maybe one of them could help you,” Idiot Chumpface said, his voice almost too quiet to hear over the wind. Gus took a single step forward, then stopped. A long moment of silence followed.
“...alright! Alright then, I’ll just go to frickin’ Kalos or whatever and look for another name-rater there!” Gus said at last. “Frick...” He turned away from Idiot, who looked rather relieved at this development.
I took this as my cue to leave. As carefully as I could, I lowered the trap-door to the roof into its closed position and then hastened down the almost ladder-like stairs leading up to it. No one else was in the hallways of the dilapidated apartment building as I made my way to the ground floor. Just as I thought I had made a clean get-away, though, I heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs above me, and I broke into a sprint. A wave of cool night air struck me as I raced out the front door to the building.
Then, I paused and stood awkwardly out in the middle of the street. Which way had I come from, again?
“Hey!” I heard Gus shouting from behind me, and I turned around. “What the hell are you doing here? Did you follow me?” he asked, thrusting an accusing finger in my direction.
No point denying it now. “Yes,” I said. “You just… looked really angry when you left, so...”
“What, did you think I was going to frickin’ murder him or something? Get a grip, Hans.”
“...yeah, I guess it does sound kind of stupid when you say it like that,” I mumbled, although I had honestly been seriously worried about what he was going to do after hearing what Idiot said.
“Of course it’s stupid! You-” Gus started, but then a guttural, hooting cry pierced the air. “What-” he broke off as the call repeated itself, and Gus fell silent for a moment as we both tried to determine the source of it. It seemed to be coming from a narrow alley right next to the building we had just left.
I hesitated, then started to head towards the noise. Gus said something under his breath and followed after me, a white flash visible from the corner of my eye as he released his Woobat, Terry. The wind hadn’t yet pushed away the thick clouds obscuring the sky, but a flickering streetlight provided enough illumination for me to dimly make out what was going on when I looked into the alleyway. A man and a woman wearing the distinctive uniforms of Neo Team Plasma were standing by a Gurdurr clutching a shortened length of steel I-beam. The woman held a struggling Pidove in her hands, pressing it against the tip of the I-beam while the man was squirting something onto the creature’s feet.
“What the frick are you doing to that Pidove?” Gus yelled, drawing their attention.
“Ah! An audience for our miraculous transformation!” the man said, spreading his arms wide. “You are about to witness the birth of a new Pokemon species, brought on by the powerful fusion technology of the revived Team Plasma!”
“We’re gluing it to this Gurdurr’s beam! We’re gonna call it a Gurrdove!” the woman clarified. There was a manic glee in her voice.
“WHY?!” Gus asked.
“The old Team Plasma foolishly tried to separate Pokemon from humanity, not realizing the awesome power that comes from mutual cooperation and togetherness! But the new Team Plasma embraces that potential to its fullest, developing powerful new technologies for fusing together organisms into a single, unified whole! What are you witnessing here is merely but one of a long line of experiments destined to bring about the ultimate realization of harmony between our species and Pokemon!”
I finally gathered myself enough to speak up, having been staring in astonishment ever since I entered the alley. “By gluing a Pidove to a metal beam? That’s crazy! You’re crazy!”
“No, it is those who cannot see the potential of fusion who are truly mad! Before long, we will have the power to fuse together even the gods themselves!” the man said, gesticulating wildly. Throughout all this, the Pidove had been continuing to squawk and flap its wings wildly. But it seemed like whatever glue the Plasma man had been using was incredibly effective and quick-setting, because it didn’t appear to be able to move its feet at all when the woman gingerly removed her grip on it and stepped backwards.
“It’s working, it’s working! Gurrdove is born!” she said. The Gurdurr hoisted the I-beam into the air triumphantly.
“No! Just let it go!” Gus demanded, tossing out his second Pokeball, which released his own Gurdurr, Pamela, in a burst of light. I followed suit, sending out my Snivy, Kyocera.
“NEVER! Go, Patloin!” the woman replied, deploying her own Pokeball. The light faded to reveal a larger than average Purrloin with a ragged-looking Patrat duct-taped to its back.
“H- how did you get them both in the same Pokeball?” I said, bewildered.
“Patloin is the ultimate combination of Patrat, the Pokemon whose powerful eyes sees everything, and Purrloin, the stealthy Pokemon who can evade all vision! Together, they are both undetectable and undetectable-detecting, an unstoppable combination! Now attack, Gurrdove, Patloin! Let the streets of Castelia run red with the blood of the non-believers!”
The Gurdurr roared and sprang forwards, swinging the Pidove-topped I-beam at Gus’ Gurdurr. She barely managed to deflect the blow with her own beam, splitting the night sky with the ring of metal upon metal.
“Pam, fight defensively! Terry, confusion!” Gus barked.
I figured I had better give Kyocera an order too. “Kyocera, try, uh, try cutting the tape on that Patrat and Purrloin with your leaf blade!” The Snivy nodded and skittered forwards, the edge of her tail already beginning to glow with the power of the move.
Meanwhile, Terry the Woobat had fluttered into position above Team Plasma’s Gurdurr, charging power for a confusion attack while the fighting-type thrust the Pidove at its conspecific’s head in a series of quick jabs. Before it could unleash the psychic attack, though, the Purrloin snarled and knocked it out of the air with a savage dark pulse, channeling all its frustration with having to deal with a Patrat duct-taped to it constantly, even inside its own Pokeball. As the Woobat tried to regain altitude, the Purrloin nailed him with a second dark pulse, forcing Gus to swear and recall the battered Pokemon.
When I turned my attention back towards Kyocera, I noticed that she had stopped short in front of the “Patloin”, staring gormlessly into the Patrat’s eyes. Hypnosis! “Kyocera, wake up!” I yelled, but to no avail.
A loud clang echoed as Pamela’s I-beam dropped to the ground, having been ripped out of her hands by Plasma’s Gurdurr. Apparently, the frantic squawking of the Pidove had counted as its growl attack, causing Pamela to gradually weaken as it was repeatedly waved in her face. Now she was trying to fend off the other Gurdurr’s attacks with her arms alone. I turned back to Kyocera in time to see the Plasma woman run up and deliver a full-force kick to her neck just as she was starting to come out of the hypnosis. “Boo-yah!” the woman yelled as the Snivy collapsed to the ground, clutching her neck and emitting strangled coughs.
“No!” I yelled and quickly recalled my Pokemon before the woman finished her follow-up kick.
...were we actually losing to Team Plasma? Were we going to get murdered by a Gurdurr with a Pidove glued to the end of its I-beam and by a Patrat duct-taped to a Purrloin?
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Badges: 2 (Basic, Toxic)The Walrein
Not today! Today sounded like a great day for running away and not getting shanked by a couple of pirate-ninja wannabes, actually. "Over there! It's a treasure chest and also a really cool katana!" I yelled. When the gurrdurr turned to look, I recalled Kyocera and took off. Thankfully I've done plenty of sprinting to beat other shoppers to the best Black Friday deals, so there was no way they were going to catch me. It also helped that the patrat and purrloin tried to go in different directions and fell over, hissing and chattering at each other.
I took the first turn I could, and then another, pounding down Virbank's narrow streets. I didn't even see the crane until I rounded another corner, and there it was straight ahead, orange barrels and warning signs and stacks of wood and metal. Construction site. Dead end.
I slid to a halt, letting out a nervous hiss of air. Not this way. South--I needed to go south. I had to catch that boat, but those Plasma idiots were between me and the docks. I turned and crept back the way I'd come, looking for a different route. The buildings around here were all warehouses, boxy and imposing, but there were narrow alleyways between some of them, clogged with litter and weeds. Not my kind of place, ordinarily, but they looked better than more close encounters of the weird kind.
I'd practically made it to the next street over when I heard the shuffling and stopped with heart pounding, listening furiously. More shuffling, then the menacing coo of a pidove, and I knew. I scurried back the way I'd come, cursing fluently under my breath. I'd taken too long. They'd caught up.
I tried running back the way I'd come until, sure enough, a voice from up ahead, "Not like that, you fools. Walk together. Together! One-two, one-two."
They'd split up. For a couple of unusually dangerous cosplayers, they were *fiendishly* clever. I looked up and down the street, reconsidered the construction site. It was too far away. The best shot I had was ducking behind a stack of soggy cardboard boxes that looked as though they'd been sitting out by the street for months, hoping for someone to come and pick them up. I crouched with my back against a chain link fence and waited, trying to stay calm, while footsteps approached. First from my left, accompanied by the low growling of the purrloin; and then from the right, as the gurrdurr and pirate-ninja number two came out of the alley. They met up and stopped, not more than a couple of meters from my hiding spot.
"Our ultimate fusion strategy worked exactly as planned," one of the pirate-ninjas said to the other. There was a thump that sounded like the patrat-purrloin walking into a wall. "But still the trainer escaped! I can't believe it!"
"They may have gotten lucky this time, but they won't escape us again! Look at how powerful we were with nothing more than purrrat and gurrdove on our side. Imagine what we'll be able to accomplish once we've fused the legendary dragon back together!"
They wanted to stick two *dragons* together? They were gonna need a lot of duct tape!
"Yes! Combining things always makes them better! Like pirates and ninjas!"
"Exactly! Once we've secured the gene splicers, no one will be able to stand against us. With Fusion Kyurem's power at our command, we'll be able to freeze all Unova and bring the Pokémon League to its knees!"
"Fuse" some legendary dragons? Freeze the region? That could plunge Unova into another war. And worst of all, it would interfere with me collecting all eight badges and becoming a champion!
"Thanks, Mel. Sometimes I get a little frustrated after getting thwarted. It means a lot to me to have someone I can discuss our nefarious plans with."
"Anytime, Aubrey. Ideally when there's a plucky young trainer around who might overhear."
They started walking again, headed back the way I'd come. I listened until their conversation faded into the distance, along with the gurrdove's burbling, and crept out from behind the stack of boxes. There was no way I was making the ferry at that point, and I needed a bit of time to think. Back to the Pokémon Center it was, then. With hooligans like that roaming the streets, I definitely needed Kyocera and Lazarus to be in top condition.
It was the same chain-smoking audino at the center, jabbing the buttons on the healing machine like they'd caused him personal affront. The assisting nurse gave me a plastic smile when she handed the pokéballs back over. I doubted I'd get anything useful out of her, but it wasn't like I knew anyone else who actually lived in this awful city--"Did you know there's a bunch of weirdos trying to take over Unova by taping pokémon together and calling it gene splicing? Is that just a Virbank thing, or should I actually be worried, here?"
-----
Pokémon:
I took the first turn I could, and then another, pounding down Virbank's narrow streets. I didn't even see the crane until I rounded another corner, and there it was straight ahead, orange barrels and warning signs and stacks of wood and metal. Construction site. Dead end.
I slid to a halt, letting out a nervous hiss of air. Not this way. South--I needed to go south. I had to catch that boat, but those Plasma idiots were between me and the docks. I turned and crept back the way I'd come, looking for a different route. The buildings around here were all warehouses, boxy and imposing, but there were narrow alleyways between some of them, clogged with litter and weeds. Not my kind of place, ordinarily, but they looked better than more close encounters of the weird kind.
I'd practically made it to the next street over when I heard the shuffling and stopped with heart pounding, listening furiously. More shuffling, then the menacing coo of a pidove, and I knew. I scurried back the way I'd come, cursing fluently under my breath. I'd taken too long. They'd caught up.
I tried running back the way I'd come until, sure enough, a voice from up ahead, "Not like that, you fools. Walk together. Together! One-two, one-two."
They'd split up. For a couple of unusually dangerous cosplayers, they were *fiendishly* clever. I looked up and down the street, reconsidered the construction site. It was too far away. The best shot I had was ducking behind a stack of soggy cardboard boxes that looked as though they'd been sitting out by the street for months, hoping for someone to come and pick them up. I crouched with my back against a chain link fence and waited, trying to stay calm, while footsteps approached. First from my left, accompanied by the low growling of the purrloin; and then from the right, as the gurrdurr and pirate-ninja number two came out of the alley. They met up and stopped, not more than a couple of meters from my hiding spot.
"Our ultimate fusion strategy worked exactly as planned," one of the pirate-ninjas said to the other. There was a thump that sounded like the patrat-purrloin walking into a wall. "But still the trainer escaped! I can't believe it!"
"They may have gotten lucky this time, but they won't escape us again! Look at how powerful we were with nothing more than purrrat and gurrdove on our side. Imagine what we'll be able to accomplish once we've fused the legendary dragon back together!"
They wanted to stick two *dragons* together? They were gonna need a lot of duct tape!
"Yes! Combining things always makes them better! Like pirates and ninjas!"
"Exactly! Once we've secured the gene splicers, no one will be able to stand against us. With Fusion Kyurem's power at our command, we'll be able to freeze all Unova and bring the Pokémon League to its knees!"
"Fuse" some legendary dragons? Freeze the region? That could plunge Unova into another war. And worst of all, it would interfere with me collecting all eight badges and becoming a champion!
"Thanks, Mel. Sometimes I get a little frustrated after getting thwarted. It means a lot to me to have someone I can discuss our nefarious plans with."
"Anytime, Aubrey. Ideally when there's a plucky young trainer around who might overhear."
They started walking again, headed back the way I'd come. I listened until their conversation faded into the distance, along with the gurrdove's burbling, and crept out from behind the stack of boxes. There was no way I was making the ferry at that point, and I needed a bit of time to think. Back to the Pokémon Center it was, then. With hooligans like that roaming the streets, I definitely needed Kyocera and Lazarus to be in top condition.
It was the same chain-smoking audino at the center, jabbing the buttons on the healing machine like they'd caused him personal affront. The assisting nurse gave me a plastic smile when she handed the pokéballs back over. I doubted I'd get anything useful out of her, but it wasn't like I knew anyone else who actually lived in this awful city--"Did you know there's a bunch of weirdos trying to take over Unova by taping pokémon together and calling it gene splicing? Is that just a Virbank thing, or should I actually be worried, here?"
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Badges: 2 (Basic, Toxic)Negrek
It looked like Celia put all of her effort into not laughing but failed anyway. Her cheeks were red and puffed up a little and a small giggle escaped her. “Yeah, they’re just Team Mega-colossal World Domination! They’re just a LARP group that sometimes drags other people into their games.”
“Oh. That explains a lot.”
“Sure does. If you see them again, make sure to take it seriously. They hate it when people break character.”
I declined to mention that I’d definitely “broken character” the first time we met. And probably would in every subsequent encounter.
“Now, we were going to get you something to beat those nasty bugs, right?”
“Actually I think we were going to.” Her eyes were--normal. Perfectly normal. “Yeah, I am registered to fight Burgh in three days. And I don’t think there will be water for Lazarus.”
Celia smiled. “Great, follow me.”
As it turned out, she wasn’t going directly to her super secret pokemon catching destination. No, we were going to a bus stop. At least the bus arrived quickly enough, even though I could tell by the way Celia settled into her seat that this was going to be a long ride.
I decided to review my options. I needed a fire, flying, or rock-type. Time to double check ranges and see what my options were. There were a few good candidates. Wingull, pidove, and zubat in the city. Dwebble and Sigilyph to the north. And pansear if you really wanted to debase yourself and get the ugly monkey.
Something caught my eye. Something unfamiliar. Even though there shouldn’t have been anything unfamiliar, I’d read this thing a million times since I was six. I turned to Celia. She was staring at her phone but at least awake and alert and probably not doing anything too important.
“Hey. What’s a beheeyem?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m reading my pokedex and there was this pokemon I’d never heard of.”
“Look at me.” I made eye contact. She looked oddly upset for such a trivial question. “Now, there’s absolutely nothing special about beheeyem silly. You haven’t heard of them because there’s absolutely nothing you need to know. No other reason. If you see the entry again you should just move on without wasting your time.”
I blinked. Duh. Why was I bothering her about the most boring species of pokemon ever?
Celia got to her feet a few seconds later when the bus came to a stop. “Now, come. There are worlds to explore and new friends to meet.”
As it turned out the worlds to explore were down an ominous staircase that spiraled into darkness. I stood at the edge and my mouth dropped a little. “Seriously? What’s even down there?”
Celia just went to the first step and looked up at you. “What’s the matter?”
“Darkness? Enclosed spaces? Pretty high up on the list of primal fears.”
She frowned and looked at me. “Yes, but you love spelunking. Never seemed to bother you before.”
I smiled and started walking down. “Just messing with you. Come on, let’s explore this concrete cave!”
I’m not entirely sure how far down I went. Four stories if I had to guess, but it could be anywhere between two and six. At the bottom there was a door with a metal sign on it. There was writing there once but time and the elements had worn it away. Celia ignored the crypt’s welcome mat and threw the door open.
The smell hit me a second later. Awful. Like actual crap. I stood in shock, nose-covered before finally steeling my nerves and walking in. Celia just rolled her eyes and glanced at me. “Come on, clear up your nose. It doesn’t even smell bad down here.”
I just stared at her. That was a lot of faith to put in someone I’d met a few hou
I immediately unpinched my nose and took a shallow breath. Then a deeper one. The water was green but the smell was actually pleasant. A little like mints. Strange.
“Come on, we’ve been inseparable since birth and you still doubt me?”
I rolled my eyes and kept going. Sure, I trusted Celia with my life but sometimes I run on impulse. Can I really be blamed for thinking a sewer might smell?
“HALT, FOOLISH TRESPASSERS! OR FACE THE WRATH OF TEAM HYPER-COLOSSAL WORLD DOMINATION!”
I traded glances with Celia as two servine duck-taped together end-to-end materialized in front of us.
-----
Pokémon:
“Oh. That explains a lot.”
“Sure does. If you see them again, make sure to take it seriously. They hate it when people break character.”
I declined to mention that I’d definitely “broken character” the first time we met. And probably would in every subsequent encounter.
“Now, we were going to get you something to beat those nasty bugs, right?”
“Actually I think we were going to.” Her eyes were--normal. Perfectly normal. “Yeah, I am registered to fight Burgh in three days. And I don’t think there will be water for Lazarus.”
Celia smiled. “Great, follow me.”
As it turned out, she wasn’t going directly to her super secret pokemon catching destination. No, we were going to a bus stop. At least the bus arrived quickly enough, even though I could tell by the way Celia settled into her seat that this was going to be a long ride.
I decided to review my options. I needed a fire, flying, or rock-type. Time to double check ranges and see what my options were. There were a few good candidates. Wingull, pidove, and zubat in the city. Dwebble and Sigilyph to the north. And pansear if you really wanted to debase yourself and get the ugly monkey.
Something caught my eye. Something unfamiliar. Even though there shouldn’t have been anything unfamiliar, I’d read this thing a million times since I was six. I turned to Celia. She was staring at her phone but at least awake and alert and probably not doing anything too important.
“Hey. What’s a beheeyem?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m reading my pokedex and there was this pokemon I’d never heard of.”
“Look at me.” I made eye contact. She looked oddly upset for such a trivial question. “Now, there’s absolutely nothing special about beheeyem silly. You haven’t heard of them because there’s absolutely nothing you need to know. No other reason. If you see the entry again you should just move on without wasting your time.”
I blinked. Duh. Why was I bothering her about the most boring species of pokemon ever?
Celia got to her feet a few seconds later when the bus came to a stop. “Now, come. There are worlds to explore and new friends to meet.”
As it turned out the worlds to explore were down an ominous staircase that spiraled into darkness. I stood at the edge and my mouth dropped a little. “Seriously? What’s even down there?”
Celia just went to the first step and looked up at you. “What’s the matter?”
“Darkness? Enclosed spaces? Pretty high up on the list of primal fears.”
She frowned and looked at me. “Yes, but you love spelunking. Never seemed to bother you before.”
I smiled and started walking down. “Just messing with you. Come on, let’s explore this concrete cave!”
I’m not entirely sure how far down I went. Four stories if I had to guess, but it could be anywhere between two and six. At the bottom there was a door with a metal sign on it. There was writing there once but time and the elements had worn it away. Celia ignored the crypt’s welcome mat and threw the door open.
The smell hit me a second later. Awful. Like actual crap. I stood in shock, nose-covered before finally steeling my nerves and walking in. Celia just rolled her eyes and glanced at me. “Come on, clear up your nose. It doesn’t even smell bad down here.”
I just stared at her. That was a lot of faith to put in someone I’d met a few hou
I immediately unpinched my nose and took a shallow breath. Then a deeper one. The water was green but the smell was actually pleasant. A little like mints. Strange.
“Come on, we’ve been inseparable since birth and you still doubt me?”
I rolled my eyes and kept going. Sure, I trusted Celia with my life but sometimes I run on impulse. Can I really be blamed for thinking a sewer might smell?
“HALT, FOOLISH TRESPASSERS! OR FACE THE WRATH OF TEAM HYPER-COLOSSAL WORLD DOMINATION!”
I traded glances with Celia as two servine duck-taped together end-to-end materialized in front of us.
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Badges: 2 (Basic, Toxic)Persephone
My eyes traced up and down this odd duo, utterly nonplussed. My hand hovered just above the Poké Balls at my belt as I asked, “Alright, what in the fresh Poké-Hell is this?”
“Poké-Hell?” Celia repeated. “Y’know, you don’t have to say things like that, this isn’t Digimon.” I didn’t even need to look at her to tell she was rolling her eyes at me.
“I mean, I guess not, but still, what gives?”
A wretched cackling rang out from all around as I asked again. Just as the two Servine did moments ago, a cloaked figure with a top hat apparated before us, clutching a cane in their hand. The magician of mystery, looking to be in their early teens, then spoke, “I am ever-so glad you’ve asked, dear friend. For you see, I am you from the future!”
“No you’re not,” I shot back, unimpressed.
“Wha- what do you mean, I’m not!?” The magician spat back. “Just look at my Servine! One of them is yours, also from the future!”
“Hey boss?” One of the Servine asked. “Will you take the tape off once we’re done here?”
“No, I still need to evolve you both. Now hush.”
Celia chuckled. “I think we can both count several ways that isn’t true in the slightest,” she began. “For one thing, you’re clearly younger than my buddy over here. For another thing, can you tell me what your name is?”
The magician put a finger to their chin, trying to come up with something. “It’s… Burgh?”
“Aleph,” I corrected, “Burgh’s the Gym Leader here in Castelia City. Speaking of which, are you gonna leave us alone now?” I drew Kyocera’s Poké Ball from my belt, and Celia brought out a ball of her own. “Cuz if not, you’re gonna have some serious trouble right about now.”
“Ohoho, no. I declare that you are the ones who’ll be having trouble today!” The magician pointed toward us. “Now, my hydra, show them our hyper-colossal world-dominating might!” The Servine rushed toward us at breakneck speeds… or at least, they attempted to. Right after taking a few steps, they both started tripping over each other. Ultimately, they barely got halfway between us and the magician before they gave up.
“Oh, you are definitely gonna dominate the hyper-colossal world with that sorta talent,” I remarked, giving the magician the biggest shit-eating grin I could muster.
The magician crossed their arms, letting out a huff. “Well, fine! If this is how it shall be, then my hydra and I shall just come back later! Stronger! And more formidable than ever!” An Abra appeared behind the magician, giving us a little wave as the magician declared, “Know that this is not the last you shall see of Prospero and Team Hyper-Colossal World Domination, pitiful Aleph!” With that, the Abra teleported the magician and their duct-taped Servine duo away, leaving me and Celia by our lonesome.
“So, uh,” Celia said, “you think we’ll see that clown again?”
“Doubtful,” I replied. “You know how these things go.”
“Right, yeah. So, I think we were gonna find you something you could take on Burgh with?”
I nodded. “Kyocera’s weak to his Bug-types, and I don’t think I can trust Lazarus to wipe his whole team out. You think we could get by with just a flock of Pidove or something?”
“I mean, it’d be creative,” Celia conceded, “but if you want a good long-term investment, the Desert Resort up north’s got-”
“Celia, darling, I fought Roxie with a Basculin. Do you really think I care about making good long-term investments?”
“Eh, fair point. I think I’ll leave you to it, but first, here.” From her bag, Celia produced a few orange Poké Balls and handed them to me one-by-one. “Level Balls, they’re Johtonese imports. Might be useful to you. Anyways, ciao for now, Aleph!” With that, she turned and walked away, waving back at me as she did.
And so I found myself a park somewhere in Castelia City and set my sights toward the trees, looking for any Flying-types they may contain. Didn’t take me too long to wrangle my first few fliers. One or two got away, but within half an hour I’d caught three Pidove and a Fletchling before I even had to consider using the Level Balls that Celia gave me. But then, when I was about to make my fifth catch, things got a little dicey.
The sight of a wild Murkrow out and about in the daytime is one you’d only come across maybe once a year, and yet here I was, gazing up at one as it preened its wing from atop a sturdy branch. Perhaps it wouldn’t be quite as much help against Burgh, what with it being a Dark-type, but still, I had no reason not to add it to the ranks of my team. I took out a Poké Ball slowly as I watched it from the bushes, doing my best not to alert it with any sudden movements. I brought my hand back steadily, and then, like a catapult, I launched the ball.
...And it just barely missed the Murkrow. Still, the sight of a Poké Ball flying right past it rattled the poor bird so hard it lost its balance, falling from its perch with a desperate caw. I revealed myself from the bush, figuring that I could still try catching it while it was frozen in surprise, and started for the Murkrow. Just when I got to my next catch, however, I heard another caw from behind me.
I turned, and to my surprise, another Murkrow was right there, sitting atop a bench as its eyes piercing right through me. Two more soon swooped down out of nowhere to join it. Then I heard another caw to my left, and another to my right. More and more Murkrow congregated around me, until I had around thirty or forty staring me down all at once. I tightly clutched Lazarus’ Poké Ball as I looked around me for a way out of this situation.
In retrospect, perhaps it should have occurred to me that Operation: Overwhelm Burgh with a Metric Ton of Bird Pokémon could have backfired like this.
-----
Pokémon:
“Poké-Hell?” Celia repeated. “Y’know, you don’t have to say things like that, this isn’t Digimon.” I didn’t even need to look at her to tell she was rolling her eyes at me.
“I mean, I guess not, but still, what gives?”
A wretched cackling rang out from all around as I asked again. Just as the two Servine did moments ago, a cloaked figure with a top hat apparated before us, clutching a cane in their hand. The magician of mystery, looking to be in their early teens, then spoke, “I am ever-so glad you’ve asked, dear friend. For you see, I am you from the future!”
“No you’re not,” I shot back, unimpressed.
“Wha- what do you mean, I’m not!?” The magician spat back. “Just look at my Servine! One of them is yours, also from the future!”
“Hey boss?” One of the Servine asked. “Will you take the tape off once we’re done here?”
“No, I still need to evolve you both. Now hush.”
Celia chuckled. “I think we can both count several ways that isn’t true in the slightest,” she began. “For one thing, you’re clearly younger than my buddy over here. For another thing, can you tell me what your name is?”
The magician put a finger to their chin, trying to come up with something. “It’s… Burgh?”
“Aleph,” I corrected, “Burgh’s the Gym Leader here in Castelia City. Speaking of which, are you gonna leave us alone now?” I drew Kyocera’s Poké Ball from my belt, and Celia brought out a ball of her own. “Cuz if not, you’re gonna have some serious trouble right about now.”
“Ohoho, no. I declare that you are the ones who’ll be having trouble today!” The magician pointed toward us. “Now, my hydra, show them our hyper-colossal world-dominating might!” The Servine rushed toward us at breakneck speeds… or at least, they attempted to. Right after taking a few steps, they both started tripping over each other. Ultimately, they barely got halfway between us and the magician before they gave up.
“Oh, you are definitely gonna dominate the hyper-colossal world with that sorta talent,” I remarked, giving the magician the biggest shit-eating grin I could muster.
The magician crossed their arms, letting out a huff. “Well, fine! If this is how it shall be, then my hydra and I shall just come back later! Stronger! And more formidable than ever!” An Abra appeared behind the magician, giving us a little wave as the magician declared, “Know that this is not the last you shall see of Prospero and Team Hyper-Colossal World Domination, pitiful Aleph!” With that, the Abra teleported the magician and their duct-taped Servine duo away, leaving me and Celia by our lonesome.
“So, uh,” Celia said, “you think we’ll see that clown again?”
“Doubtful,” I replied. “You know how these things go.”
“Right, yeah. So, I think we were gonna find you something you could take on Burgh with?”
I nodded. “Kyocera’s weak to his Bug-types, and I don’t think I can trust Lazarus to wipe his whole team out. You think we could get by with just a flock of Pidove or something?”
“I mean, it’d be creative,” Celia conceded, “but if you want a good long-term investment, the Desert Resort up north’s got-”
“Celia, darling, I fought Roxie with a Basculin. Do you really think I care about making good long-term investments?”
“Eh, fair point. I think I’ll leave you to it, but first, here.” From her bag, Celia produced a few orange Poké Balls and handed them to me one-by-one. “Level Balls, they’re Johtonese imports. Might be useful to you. Anyways, ciao for now, Aleph!” With that, she turned and walked away, waving back at me as she did.
And so I found myself a park somewhere in Castelia City and set my sights toward the trees, looking for any Flying-types they may contain. Didn’t take me too long to wrangle my first few fliers. One or two got away, but within half an hour I’d caught three Pidove and a Fletchling before I even had to consider using the Level Balls that Celia gave me. But then, when I was about to make my fifth catch, things got a little dicey.
The sight of a wild Murkrow out and about in the daytime is one you’d only come across maybe once a year, and yet here I was, gazing up at one as it preened its wing from atop a sturdy branch. Perhaps it wouldn’t be quite as much help against Burgh, what with it being a Dark-type, but still, I had no reason not to add it to the ranks of my team. I took out a Poké Ball slowly as I watched it from the bushes, doing my best not to alert it with any sudden movements. I brought my hand back steadily, and then, like a catapult, I launched the ball.
...And it just barely missed the Murkrow. Still, the sight of a Poké Ball flying right past it rattled the poor bird so hard it lost its balance, falling from its perch with a desperate caw. I revealed myself from the bush, figuring that I could still try catching it while it was frozen in surprise, and started for the Murkrow. Just when I got to my next catch, however, I heard another caw from behind me.
I turned, and to my surprise, another Murkrow was right there, sitting atop a bench as its eyes piercing right through me. Two more soon swooped down out of nowhere to join it. Then I heard another caw to my left, and another to my right. More and more Murkrow congregated around me, until I had around thirty or forty staring me down all at once. I tightly clutched Lazarus’ Poké Ball as I looked around me for a way out of this situation.
In retrospect, perhaps it should have occurred to me that Operation: Overwhelm Burgh with a Metric Ton of Bird Pokémon could have backfired like this.
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Pidove - “Ed”
Pidove - “Edd”
Pidove - “Eddy”
Fletchling - “Gabby”
Badges: 2 (Basic, Toxic)Caliburn
I suppose I should have remembered that he kept a Dwebble specifically to go up against Flying-types. Ed, Edd, and Eddy were all unconscious in a pile already, and Gabby was definitely about to go down herself. Lazarus was my only hope, but there was no way he could go up against a Leavanny!
“You’d be surprised how many trainers try this route,” noted Burgh. “Though most of them do try to evolve at least one of their Flying-types first.”
Wow. I didn’t need that criticism in my life! I took a deep breath. Maybe Lazarus would get lucky or something, I thought as Gabby went down and I threw out his Pokeball, ordering an Aqua Jet attack. Thankfully, Dwebble had been chipped down enough that that successfully knocked it out. Unfortunately, that meant Leavanny was up next.
“Bite!” I screamed. Maybe we would be lucky and it would be too busy flinching to cut Lazarus in half. I crossed my fingers and prayed.
A few very lucky chomps later, I found myself walking out the door with the Insect Badge, but feeling little in the way of pride about it. Burgh even had the nerve to wave at me as I left, calling out “Remember: evolving your Pokemon is good for them!”
Oh, how I hated that man.
But it was also true that he kind of had a point. If I was going to successfully get those next badges, I would definitely have to evolve some of my team. Though my birds probably wouldn’t be much help in the next gym.
Well, I thought as I stepped onto Route 4, this was a good chance to both train up Kyocera and maybe find a Ground-type to handle Elesa. As long as someone evolved here, I’d consider it a success.
-----
Pokémon:
“You’d be surprised how many trainers try this route,” noted Burgh. “Though most of them do try to evolve at least one of their Flying-types first.”
Wow. I didn’t need that criticism in my life! I took a deep breath. Maybe Lazarus would get lucky or something, I thought as Gabby went down and I threw out his Pokeball, ordering an Aqua Jet attack. Thankfully, Dwebble had been chipped down enough that that successfully knocked it out. Unfortunately, that meant Leavanny was up next.
“Bite!” I screamed. Maybe we would be lucky and it would be too busy flinching to cut Lazarus in half. I crossed my fingers and prayed.
A few very lucky chomps later, I found myself walking out the door with the Insect Badge, but feeling little in the way of pride about it. Burgh even had the nerve to wave at me as I left, calling out “Remember: evolving your Pokemon is good for them!”
Oh, how I hated that man.
But it was also true that he kind of had a point. If I was going to successfully get those next badges, I would definitely have to evolve some of my team. Though my birds probably wouldn’t be much help in the next gym.
Well, I thought as I stepped onto Route 4, this was a good chance to both train up Kyocera and maybe find a Ground-type to handle Elesa. As long as someone evolved here, I’d consider it a success.
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Pidove - “Ed”
Pidove - “Edd”
Pidove - “Eddy”
Fletchling - “Gabby”
Badges: 3 (Basic, Toxic, Insect)GrayGriffin
I walked through the suburb and kept my eyes open for other trainers. It was a quiet day instead, with kids and pet pokémon playing at the playground and Pidove cooing on lampposts. Down a side street the road dipped into switchbacks, and between the buildings was a hint of the glitter of the sun on the ocean.
"What do you think, Kyo? Wanna fight some water-types?"
Kyocera's snout wiggled at the smell of the salt water. "Sni!" she said eagerly.
The paved path got sandier and sandier as we headed down to the beach. Finally we saw some kids playing in the water with a Seismitoad who was patiently steering them away from the deep water, and withstanding the splashing and ear-splitting screeches of human children at play. The jetty had a few fishers on it, which were always a good bet for a battle.
Before long Kyo had traded a few attacks with a Basculin and a Tympole, and I gave her a quick spritz of Potion before turning the other pokémon loose on the beach for a break. Laz immediately picked a fight with a wild Frillish and I let them slap it out, but the Frillish ran for it before I could toss in a pokéball. Edd, Eddy, or possibly Ed flew up into my hat and loafed there while the other two Pidove and Gabby pecked through the beach sand looking for shiny garbage. I succumbed to temptation and took off my shoes and waded in the shallows, knowing that this would mean gross, sandy feet that I'd have to get my shoes and socks back on over at some point. Oh well.
I was hoping that some kind of giant pokémon would surge out of the water and solve all my problems for me, but Laz just started attacking the dock, apparently finding it in some way offensive, and Eddy, Ed, or possibly Edd started fighting with Gabby over a sweet wrapper they found in the sand, so I figured it was a good time to take off.
--
The next stop was the Desert Resort—this was the place to find a ground-type for Elesa's electric-type gym. The pale dunes stretched far away into the distance as I left the rest house at the end of Route 4, and I shook the last of the beach sand out of my shoes as I prepared to fill them up with yet more sand.
I set about looking for wild pokémon, checking the oases and shady overhangs. A ground-type like Sandshrew or Sandile would really help me out here; most of what I'd picked up so far was weak to electric, so—HOLY SHIT A GIBLE
The squat, blue pokémon saw me barrelling toward it like an out-of-control Bouffalant, squeaked, and ran for it. Obviously I'd come on a little strong.
"Wait!" I called after it, uselessly. "I just want to battle! I'm a trainer! We can be friends!"
"Sni!"
The Gible dove headfirst into a dune and burrowed in with a ground-type's speed, and I had only a glimpse of its blue rear end before the sand fell into place behind it.
Dammit. That would've been a great catch, a rare pokémon and a foreign Sinnonian pokémon to boot. I dusted myself off and straightened up to realize I had no idea where I was.
The sun suddenly seemed especially high and bright, and the nearly-white sky didn't offer much comfort.
"Kyo…" I said. "Do you remember which way we came?"
"Sni?"
I followed my footprints back up the nearest dune, but once I was at the top I couldn't see anything but more sand. The wind stirred a few grains at my feet mockingly.
"There's no need for panic," I told myself. "I've got four flying pokémon. Let's figure it out."
I chose Ed, Edd, or possibly Eddy's pokéball and asked him to find the rest house. The Pidove flew up high and then dove back down, peeping triumphantly.
"That's great! Let's head in, I bet you all would like a drink. I sure do."
Kyo battled a couple of Sandshrew that ran away after the battle as one of the Eds lead me onward. I was beginning to feel like it was taking an awfully long time to get back to the rest house when what I had thought was a rock pillar resolved itself into a broken obelisk.
Edd, Eddy, or possibly Ed had led me to the Relic Castle instead of the rest house, which was a little inconvenient, but I could deal with it. Besides, here was another opportunity to look for pokémon and explore!
I drank from my water bottle and shared a few swigs with Kyo and Ed/Edd/Eddy before heading into the cool darkness of the Relic Castle. I remembered vaguely from history class that it had been built about two or three thousand years ago during an age of legends. There were stories from that time about mythical pokémon and heroes that bonded with them, but it was hard to say how much was fact. People in those days didn't care so much about accurately reporting facts as they did telling stories that justified the ruling clan's claim to power and such. Obviously today we always reported history accurately looks directly into the camera etc.
There were warning signs strung around the Castle about which areas were too unsafe to venture into—there were places where the floor had given way or where the ceilings had collapsed and buried rooms in sand from above. There was no need to trespass though, the pokémon in the main halls were plentiful and aggressive, and I gave Kyo some Potion every few battles to keep her spirits up.
After a while the wild pokémon were ignoring me and my water bottle was getting low. I asked Laz to refill it for me, but he was a bit cranky about being released on the dry rock and soaked me with a Water Gun instead of the bottle. I figured it was a good time to head back to the rest house, for real this time. The path from the Castle would be clearer and more well-worn.
I promptly took a wrong turn, which was weird—there was only one path through the castle and the others were blocked off with signs—and barely had time to scream as my shoes slid and I was pitched into darkness.
I hit piled-up sand, which isn't as soft as the movies make it look, and just lay there wheezing for a few minutes as I tried to get my breath back. Kyocera, bless her heart, popped out of her pokéball immediately and kept touching my face and papping my cheeks with her leafy tail until I finally sat up.
There was light from mine lamps in this chamber, dimmer and redder than the ones that illuminated the safe part of the Castle.
"Hello?" I called. "I've fallen! Hello? Help!"
No answer. Well, there were probably stairs back up to the main level. I started to move through the hallways; they were in decidedly poorer repair than the accessible area up top, and I felt watched. My skin crawled. Maybe it was the dim light, but I felt like there were eyes around every corner, and I walked faster and less carefully. I walked around the corner into a Krokorok, the evolved form of Sandile. It was a big Krokorok.
It growled at me and Kyo.
"Sni…"
"You're right," I said, turning and running for it.
Hallways and pillars and falls of sand flashed by as I ran, and all of a sudden they weren't empty and foreboding, but full of big evolved pokémon. A Cofagrigus screeched, its golden lower body opening to reveal dozens of ghostly hands, and I screamed back and immediately turned down another, random direction. I heard the grinding roar of an Onix somewhere behind me and ran even harder, my throat burning as I wheezed and panted, coughing up dust.
At last a long ramp of sand greeted me, and there seemed to be a path to the upper level.
The big Krokorok appeared in front of me, rising onto two legs in a battle stance.
"I'm sorry for trespassing on your territory!" I told it, trying to be placating. "I didn't mean to come down here! You're much stronger than my pokémon!"
The Krokorok didn't care or didn't understand, because it whipped up a Sand Tomb behind me, the wall of sand putting an end to the chase.
"Sni!"
Kyocera leaped off my shoulder and squared up versus the much larger pokémon.
"Don't, Kyo, we've gotta get out of here!"
"Sni!" she said, lashing her tail. She called up a Leaf Tornado, the green shards of energy flying off the end of her tail and surrounding the Krokorok. It yelped and rushed her, snapping down on her body with a brutal Crunch attack. The crocodile pokémon tossed her down at my feet.
"Kyo!" I cried. "I'm so sorry, buddy. Come on back. I'll get us out of here."
"Sni…" she said weakly, and her whole body began glowing as she evolved, lengthening and growing extra leaves as Servine. She rose on the rock floor and readied herself again. "Ser!"
Tears pricked my eyes. It wasn't enough against such a strong opponent, and evolution only gave a temporary burst. We needed to run.
The Krokorok's eyes grew wide, and it suddenly turned tail and ran, its Sand Tombs collapsing behind it.
Well, that worked too.
Kyo relaxed, her new body trembling.
"You're so brave, Kyo," I whispered to her. "Thank you."
"Ser… Ser!" she squeaked suddenly.
I felt… warm?
I turned around slowly.
A red-horned moth pokémon hovered behind me, wreathed by the sun. The Volcarona was enormous, searing, surrounded by flame. It looked down at me briefly and for an eternity before shooting up and away in a burst of fire and light. When it was gone, the castle tunnels seemed utterly dark and colorless.
"Ser…" Kyo said weakly.
"Same," I said. "Let's get out of here."
--
A trainer stopped me for a battle as I trudged out of the Castle, but I threw some money at her and kept going.
--
The next day, after a well-deserved rest, I caught a Sandile—Snappy—without incident, and kept my training efforts to the very accessible and visible parts of the Desert Resort. I couldn't bear to split up Ed, Edd, or Eddy, and sent Gabby back to Prof. Juniper instead.
All the pokémon were doing great with their training, so feeling more confident, I decided to head into Nimbasa City and see what Elesa's gym challenge was all about. Nimbasa was bright and loud, with noticeboards caked in advertisements for concerts and shows, and the air seemed to be full of distant roars as crowds cheered within the sports stadiums that dominated the skyline. At the center of the city was the famous amusement park with its enormous ferris wheel. All the while, my eyes were only for the gym and its angular columns bending around its central arena.
This was it. The moment I'd been waiting for. The moment when I was going to meet my destiny. I strode into Nimbasa gym and ripped off my traveling clothes to expose the sequined black and white houndstooth jumpsuit I'd been saving for just this occasion.
“You and me, Elesa! You’re about to get served!”
-----
Pokémon:
"What do you think, Kyo? Wanna fight some water-types?"
Kyocera's snout wiggled at the smell of the salt water. "Sni!" she said eagerly.
The paved path got sandier and sandier as we headed down to the beach. Finally we saw some kids playing in the water with a Seismitoad who was patiently steering them away from the deep water, and withstanding the splashing and ear-splitting screeches of human children at play. The jetty had a few fishers on it, which were always a good bet for a battle.
Before long Kyo had traded a few attacks with a Basculin and a Tympole, and I gave her a quick spritz of Potion before turning the other pokémon loose on the beach for a break. Laz immediately picked a fight with a wild Frillish and I let them slap it out, but the Frillish ran for it before I could toss in a pokéball. Edd, Eddy, or possibly Ed flew up into my hat and loafed there while the other two Pidove and Gabby pecked through the beach sand looking for shiny garbage. I succumbed to temptation and took off my shoes and waded in the shallows, knowing that this would mean gross, sandy feet that I'd have to get my shoes and socks back on over at some point. Oh well.
I was hoping that some kind of giant pokémon would surge out of the water and solve all my problems for me, but Laz just started attacking the dock, apparently finding it in some way offensive, and Eddy, Ed, or possibly Edd started fighting with Gabby over a sweet wrapper they found in the sand, so I figured it was a good time to take off.
--
The next stop was the Desert Resort—this was the place to find a ground-type for Elesa's electric-type gym. The pale dunes stretched far away into the distance as I left the rest house at the end of Route 4, and I shook the last of the beach sand out of my shoes as I prepared to fill them up with yet more sand.
I set about looking for wild pokémon, checking the oases and shady overhangs. A ground-type like Sandshrew or Sandile would really help me out here; most of what I'd picked up so far was weak to electric, so—HOLY SHIT A GIBLE
The squat, blue pokémon saw me barrelling toward it like an out-of-control Bouffalant, squeaked, and ran for it. Obviously I'd come on a little strong.
"Wait!" I called after it, uselessly. "I just want to battle! I'm a trainer! We can be friends!"
"Sni!"
The Gible dove headfirst into a dune and burrowed in with a ground-type's speed, and I had only a glimpse of its blue rear end before the sand fell into place behind it.
Dammit. That would've been a great catch, a rare pokémon and a foreign Sinnonian pokémon to boot. I dusted myself off and straightened up to realize I had no idea where I was.
The sun suddenly seemed especially high and bright, and the nearly-white sky didn't offer much comfort.
"Kyo…" I said. "Do you remember which way we came?"
"Sni?"
I followed my footprints back up the nearest dune, but once I was at the top I couldn't see anything but more sand. The wind stirred a few grains at my feet mockingly.
"There's no need for panic," I told myself. "I've got four flying pokémon. Let's figure it out."
I chose Ed, Edd, or possibly Eddy's pokéball and asked him to find the rest house. The Pidove flew up high and then dove back down, peeping triumphantly.
"That's great! Let's head in, I bet you all would like a drink. I sure do."
Kyo battled a couple of Sandshrew that ran away after the battle as one of the Eds lead me onward. I was beginning to feel like it was taking an awfully long time to get back to the rest house when what I had thought was a rock pillar resolved itself into a broken obelisk.
Edd, Eddy, or possibly Ed had led me to the Relic Castle instead of the rest house, which was a little inconvenient, but I could deal with it. Besides, here was another opportunity to look for pokémon and explore!
I drank from my water bottle and shared a few swigs with Kyo and Ed/Edd/Eddy before heading into the cool darkness of the Relic Castle. I remembered vaguely from history class that it had been built about two or three thousand years ago during an age of legends. There were stories from that time about mythical pokémon and heroes that bonded with them, but it was hard to say how much was fact. People in those days didn't care so much about accurately reporting facts as they did telling stories that justified the ruling clan's claim to power and such. Obviously today we always reported history accurately looks directly into the camera etc.
There were warning signs strung around the Castle about which areas were too unsafe to venture into—there were places where the floor had given way or where the ceilings had collapsed and buried rooms in sand from above. There was no need to trespass though, the pokémon in the main halls were plentiful and aggressive, and I gave Kyo some Potion every few battles to keep her spirits up.
After a while the wild pokémon were ignoring me and my water bottle was getting low. I asked Laz to refill it for me, but he was a bit cranky about being released on the dry rock and soaked me with a Water Gun instead of the bottle. I figured it was a good time to head back to the rest house, for real this time. The path from the Castle would be clearer and more well-worn.
I promptly took a wrong turn, which was weird—there was only one path through the castle and the others were blocked off with signs—and barely had time to scream as my shoes slid and I was pitched into darkness.
I hit piled-up sand, which isn't as soft as the movies make it look, and just lay there wheezing for a few minutes as I tried to get my breath back. Kyocera, bless her heart, popped out of her pokéball immediately and kept touching my face and papping my cheeks with her leafy tail until I finally sat up.
There was light from mine lamps in this chamber, dimmer and redder than the ones that illuminated the safe part of the Castle.
"Hello?" I called. "I've fallen! Hello? Help!"
No answer. Well, there were probably stairs back up to the main level. I started to move through the hallways; they were in decidedly poorer repair than the accessible area up top, and I felt watched. My skin crawled. Maybe it was the dim light, but I felt like there were eyes around every corner, and I walked faster and less carefully. I walked around the corner into a Krokorok, the evolved form of Sandile. It was a big Krokorok.
It growled at me and Kyo.
"Sni…"
"You're right," I said, turning and running for it.
Hallways and pillars and falls of sand flashed by as I ran, and all of a sudden they weren't empty and foreboding, but full of big evolved pokémon. A Cofagrigus screeched, its golden lower body opening to reveal dozens of ghostly hands, and I screamed back and immediately turned down another, random direction. I heard the grinding roar of an Onix somewhere behind me and ran even harder, my throat burning as I wheezed and panted, coughing up dust.
At last a long ramp of sand greeted me, and there seemed to be a path to the upper level.
The big Krokorok appeared in front of me, rising onto two legs in a battle stance.
"I'm sorry for trespassing on your territory!" I told it, trying to be placating. "I didn't mean to come down here! You're much stronger than my pokémon!"
The Krokorok didn't care or didn't understand, because it whipped up a Sand Tomb behind me, the wall of sand putting an end to the chase.
"Sni!"
Kyocera leaped off my shoulder and squared up versus the much larger pokémon.
"Don't, Kyo, we've gotta get out of here!"
"Sni!" she said, lashing her tail. She called up a Leaf Tornado, the green shards of energy flying off the end of her tail and surrounding the Krokorok. It yelped and rushed her, snapping down on her body with a brutal Crunch attack. The crocodile pokémon tossed her down at my feet.
"Kyo!" I cried. "I'm so sorry, buddy. Come on back. I'll get us out of here."
"Sni…" she said weakly, and her whole body began glowing as she evolved, lengthening and growing extra leaves as Servine. She rose on the rock floor and readied herself again. "Ser!"
Tears pricked my eyes. It wasn't enough against such a strong opponent, and evolution only gave a temporary burst. We needed to run.
The Krokorok's eyes grew wide, and it suddenly turned tail and ran, its Sand Tombs collapsing behind it.
Well, that worked too.
Kyo relaxed, her new body trembling.
"You're so brave, Kyo," I whispered to her. "Thank you."
"Ser… Ser!" she squeaked suddenly.
I felt… warm?
I turned around slowly.
A red-horned moth pokémon hovered behind me, wreathed by the sun. The Volcarona was enormous, searing, surrounded by flame. It looked down at me briefly and for an eternity before shooting up and away in a burst of fire and light. When it was gone, the castle tunnels seemed utterly dark and colorless.
"Ser…" Kyo said weakly.
"Same," I said. "Let's get out of here."
--
A trainer stopped me for a battle as I trudged out of the Castle, but I threw some money at her and kept going.
--
The next day, after a well-deserved rest, I caught a Sandile—Snappy—without incident, and kept my training efforts to the very accessible and visible parts of the Desert Resort. I couldn't bear to split up Ed, Edd, or Eddy, and sent Gabby back to Prof. Juniper instead.
All the pokémon were doing great with their training, so feeling more confident, I decided to head into Nimbasa City and see what Elesa's gym challenge was all about. Nimbasa was bright and loud, with noticeboards caked in advertisements for concerts and shows, and the air seemed to be full of distant roars as crowds cheered within the sports stadiums that dominated the skyline. At the center of the city was the famous amusement park with its enormous ferris wheel. All the while, my eyes were only for the gym and its angular columns bending around its central arena.
This was it. The moment I'd been waiting for. The moment when I was going to meet my destiny. I strode into Nimbasa gym and ripped off my traveling clothes to expose the sequined black and white houndstooth jumpsuit I'd been saving for just this occasion.
“You and me, Elesa! You’re about to get served!”
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Pidove - “Ed”
Pidove - “Edd”
Pidove - “Eddy”
Sandile - “Snappy”
Fletchling - “Gabby” (With Juniper)
Badges: 3 (Basic, Toxic, Insect)Keleri
Elesa rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed at my fabulousness. "You're cute. But you're going down."
She sent out an Emolga. Oh crap, I thought. Half my team is weak to Electric and the rest can't deal with Flying that well. Only one can probably get through this...
"Go! Snappy!"
The Sandile was sent out, staring down the Emolga with his goggle eyes. <I like trains,> he said.
Meanwhile Ed, Edd, and Eddy released themselves from their Pokeballs to provide commentary. Or at least the prior two did; Eddy immediately started soliciting the audience of the runway.
<Place your bets, folks! Who wins, my Trainer or Elesa? Man this scam is going to rake me in so much dough!>
<Eddy!> said Double D. <You can't just side with your wallet at a time like this!>
<Especially when the mutant plasma creatures are going to arrive any second!> said Ed.
I decided to ignore their antics for now and focus on Elesa.
"Snappy! Stone Edge!"
Snappy hurled pointed rocks at the Emolga, only for the Emolga to fly out of the way and giggle.
"...Shit."
"Air Slash!" said Elesa.
The Emolga sent a blade of air in Snappy's direction, leaving him stunned. This just left him wide open for another Air Slash.
"Snappy, make it snappy!" I said, my sequins glittering in the light of the runway-gym. "Use Crunch!"
<I like trains!> yelled Snappy, leaping and biting onto the Emolga's wing. The Emolga gave a pained screech as Snappy wrestled him to the ground, wrestling him.
"Now, Stone Edge again!"
While the Emolga was pinned, Snappy summoned a rock, which he lightly tapped on the Emolga's forehead. The Emolga was swiftly KOed.
"Hm. Not bad," said Elesa. "But can you handle this?"
She sent out a Zebstrika.
"Oh that's easy!" I said. "Snappy, Earthqu-"
"Flame Charge!" said Elesa.
The Zebstrika whinnied and charged at Snappy, wreathed in flame. Snappy was sent flying, and landed on the back wall, KOed.
I started panicking. If Snappy was out... Most of my team was weak to Electric, and the one that wasn't was weak to Fire. What was I going to do?
Then all of the sudden a white dragon burst through the ceiling, a green-haired young man atop it.
"I have arrived!" said N.
<In style!> said Reshiram.
The crowd panicked. Eddy's box of betting money fell over.
<NO!> said Eddy. <My scam!>
<Again, priorities Eddy!> said Edd.
<THE PLASMA ALIENS ARE HERE!> said Ed.
Meanwhile Elesa and I stood together, ready to take N and Reshiram on.
"All of Unova will know my true plan..." said N.
-----
Pokémon:
She sent out an Emolga. Oh crap, I thought. Half my team is weak to Electric and the rest can't deal with Flying that well. Only one can probably get through this...
"Go! Snappy!"
The Sandile was sent out, staring down the Emolga with his goggle eyes. <I like trains,> he said.
Meanwhile Ed, Edd, and Eddy released themselves from their Pokeballs to provide commentary. Or at least the prior two did; Eddy immediately started soliciting the audience of the runway.
<Place your bets, folks! Who wins, my Trainer or Elesa? Man this scam is going to rake me in so much dough!>
<Eddy!> said Double D. <You can't just side with your wallet at a time like this!>
<Especially when the mutant plasma creatures are going to arrive any second!> said Ed.
I decided to ignore their antics for now and focus on Elesa.
"Snappy! Stone Edge!"
Snappy hurled pointed rocks at the Emolga, only for the Emolga to fly out of the way and giggle.
"...Shit."
"Air Slash!" said Elesa.
The Emolga sent a blade of air in Snappy's direction, leaving him stunned. This just left him wide open for another Air Slash.
"Snappy, make it snappy!" I said, my sequins glittering in the light of the runway-gym. "Use Crunch!"
<I like trains!> yelled Snappy, leaping and biting onto the Emolga's wing. The Emolga gave a pained screech as Snappy wrestled him to the ground, wrestling him.
"Now, Stone Edge again!"
While the Emolga was pinned, Snappy summoned a rock, which he lightly tapped on the Emolga's forehead. The Emolga was swiftly KOed.
"Hm. Not bad," said Elesa. "But can you handle this?"
She sent out a Zebstrika.
"Oh that's easy!" I said. "Snappy, Earthqu-"
"Flame Charge!" said Elesa.
The Zebstrika whinnied and charged at Snappy, wreathed in flame. Snappy was sent flying, and landed on the back wall, KOed.
I started panicking. If Snappy was out... Most of my team was weak to Electric, and the one that wasn't was weak to Fire. What was I going to do?
Then all of the sudden a white dragon burst through the ceiling, a green-haired young man atop it.
"I have arrived!" said N.
<In style!> said Reshiram.
The crowd panicked. Eddy's box of betting money fell over.
<NO!> said Eddy. <My scam!>
<Again, priorities Eddy!> said Edd.
<THE PLASMA ALIENS ARE HERE!> said Ed.
Meanwhile Elesa and I stood together, ready to take N and Reshiram on.
"All of Unova will know my true plan..." said N.
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Pidove - “Ed”
Pidove - “Edd”
Pidove - “Eddy”
Sandile - “Snappy”
Fletchling - “Gabby” (With Juniper)
Badges: 3 (Basic, Toxic, Insect)Umbramatic
“...To let the world’s Pokémon pilot their trainers’ human bodies!”
He posed dramatically. I squinted at him. “Wait. Isn’t this the plot of some movie? Only, like, in reverse?”
“Movie?” N said. He paused. “I’m not sure what a movie is. But I listened to the wishes of my Pokémon friends, and this is what they told me.”
I slapped my forehead. They’d all been watching that movie, hadn’t they.
I sighed. “Look, N, this plan is ridiculous. Why would Pokémon even want to pilot human bodies around? Aren’t Pokémon bodies stronger, better, faster? They’re taking the piss, based on a stupid movie, and you just bought it.”
N frowned. “It is not for me to judge their wishes.”
“Are we fighting or not?” growled Elesa through gritted teeth, her three Emolga hovering ominously above her head.
“Yes,” N said. “Let’s.” He looked up at Reshiram. “Are you ready?”
The huge white dragon nodded, giving a screech of challenge. Immediately, Elesa pointed, and her Emolga darted forward, swarming around Reshiram’s head and Volt Switching chaotically to confuse it. The dragon growled in annoyance and fired a Dragonbreath that instantly took one of the Emolga down. Damn it… if only I had a goddamned dragon to work with.
Well, I had the next best thing. “Go, Lazarus!” I shouted, throwing the Basculin’s Pokéball. Lazarus flopped angrily on the ground, glaring murderously at me.
“Lazarus, use an Aqua Tail!”
The fish flopped, flexed, and then flung himself towards Reshiram, smacking his tail into the dragon’s fluffy body with a huge splash. Reshiram’s fur was soaked wet; irritably, the dragon made as if to shake itself vigorously, but before it could, Elesa’s two remaining Emolga had fired simultaneous Thunderbolts. Reshiram let out a bloodcurdling scream as I shielded my eyes from the flashing electricity…
...and when I opened them again, Reshiram was a giant staticified poofball.
The dragon grunted, unamused, the sound muffled by the surrounding fluff.
“Give up, N,” I said, trying to put on an air of confidence. “If you try anything further we’ll only poof up your Reshiram again. And… I saw the movie, you know. I know how it ends. It’s over.”
“Reshiram’s pure dedication to the truth far outweighs any such concerns!” N cried. “Stand with me once more, my friend.”
Reshiram let out a dismayed mrowling sort of sound. Do dragons mrowl? I don’t know. It tilted its head and raised its wing, awkwardly trying to straighten out its hair, with little success.
“Reshiram?” N said, concern growing in his voice.
Reshiram gave up trying to get the fluff out of its eyes. It let out a series of growls and screeches.
“...Reshiram asks if the plan really comes from a movie.” N looked searchingly at me. “What is a movie?”
“You know, like a fictional story that someone made up, that you can watch at the cinema or on a TV.”
“TV?”
God. How sad was this guy’s childhood? “You know, a box with moving pictures, made by somebody?”
“Hmmm.” N paused. Reshiram mrowled at him again.
“...She says movies aren’t the truth.”
I blinked. Yeah. Yeah, that made sense. Dragon of Truth and all.
“Yeah. Movies are fiction. You know, someone came up with a fun story, and then they had people dress up and pretend to be in the story, and they filmed it, so you can watch it like it really happened. Reshiram wouldn’t want you to enact a movie plot.”
N looked down at his Scraggy and Darumaka. “...Is this true? Was your wish based on a lie, from a ‘movie’?”
They averted their eyes sheepishly. “Scrag.”
N frowned. “Oh.”
He paused for a moment. “Well… then I suppose my plan to fulfill my friends’ desires was based on a lie.”
“Yup, it was.” I stepped closer. “And - N, you seem like a nice guy, but you know who else is definitely lying to you? Whoever raised you without movies. That’s messed up.”
N stared at me contemplatively. “Is that the truth?”
Reshiram nodded emphatically, her fluff swaying.
“Hmm.” N stroked his chin, looking down. “I think I have a lot to think about. Thank you.” He looked up at Reshiram. “Will you forgive me for straying from the truth?”
The dragon nodded with a shrug. Her fur was slowly returning to its former shape.
N smiled. “Thank you, Reshiram. I think we should return to Plasma Castle and try to uncover more truths, together. And then maybe… we can catch a movie.”
Reshiram smirked. She picked up N with her wing-claws and placed him on her back, then scooped up his other Pokémon as well.
“Farewell,” N said. “Thank you for telling me about movies.”
And with that, Reshiram took off with a playful screeeee. The waves of heat off her engine-like rear rippled my hair for a moment; then they were gone.
“Well, that sure was something,” said Elesa.
“Yup,” I said. “Hey, I know I still have to get that badge, but I’m a bit spent for today. Maybe tomorrow?”
“Sounds good.” Elesa paused, pursing her lips. “You know, I’d been meaning to screen that movie at my gym. Maybe tonight’ll be a movie night for the town on me, to make up for all this mess.”
I grinned. “I like that plan.”
I knew my journey would continue, but for now, this was a good end to a strange plot that might have stretched a lot longer, had things been different. What if N’s Pokémon hadn’t filled him up with Pokéstar Studios nonsense? It didn’t bear thinking about.
Together with Elesa, I walked back towards the Nimbasa Gym...
...only to hear aggressive flopping behind me. “Oh, yeah, sorry, Lazarus. You really saved the day. I’ll get you a full tank of chow later.”
He flopped indignantly, rolling his eyes.
“Really. I love you. A full tank of chow and you get to watch the movie with us. In the chow tank.”
Lazarus waved a fin, so as to indicate this was more or less acceptable.
I grinned. “Awesome. Let’s go.”
I recalled him back into his ball and sprinted to catch up with Elesa.
-----
Pokémon:
He posed dramatically. I squinted at him. “Wait. Isn’t this the plot of some movie? Only, like, in reverse?”
“Movie?” N said. He paused. “I’m not sure what a movie is. But I listened to the wishes of my Pokémon friends, and this is what they told me.”
I slapped my forehead. They’d all been watching that movie, hadn’t they.
I sighed. “Look, N, this plan is ridiculous. Why would Pokémon even want to pilot human bodies around? Aren’t Pokémon bodies stronger, better, faster? They’re taking the piss, based on a stupid movie, and you just bought it.”
N frowned. “It is not for me to judge their wishes.”
“Are we fighting or not?” growled Elesa through gritted teeth, her three Emolga hovering ominously above her head.
“Yes,” N said. “Let’s.” He looked up at Reshiram. “Are you ready?”
The huge white dragon nodded, giving a screech of challenge. Immediately, Elesa pointed, and her Emolga darted forward, swarming around Reshiram’s head and Volt Switching chaotically to confuse it. The dragon growled in annoyance and fired a Dragonbreath that instantly took one of the Emolga down. Damn it… if only I had a goddamned dragon to work with.
Well, I had the next best thing. “Go, Lazarus!” I shouted, throwing the Basculin’s Pokéball. Lazarus flopped angrily on the ground, glaring murderously at me.
“Lazarus, use an Aqua Tail!”
The fish flopped, flexed, and then flung himself towards Reshiram, smacking his tail into the dragon’s fluffy body with a huge splash. Reshiram’s fur was soaked wet; irritably, the dragon made as if to shake itself vigorously, but before it could, Elesa’s two remaining Emolga had fired simultaneous Thunderbolts. Reshiram let out a bloodcurdling scream as I shielded my eyes from the flashing electricity…
...and when I opened them again, Reshiram was a giant staticified poofball.
The dragon grunted, unamused, the sound muffled by the surrounding fluff.
“Give up, N,” I said, trying to put on an air of confidence. “If you try anything further we’ll only poof up your Reshiram again. And… I saw the movie, you know. I know how it ends. It’s over.”
“Reshiram’s pure dedication to the truth far outweighs any such concerns!” N cried. “Stand with me once more, my friend.”
Reshiram let out a dismayed mrowling sort of sound. Do dragons mrowl? I don’t know. It tilted its head and raised its wing, awkwardly trying to straighten out its hair, with little success.
“Reshiram?” N said, concern growing in his voice.
Reshiram gave up trying to get the fluff out of its eyes. It let out a series of growls and screeches.
“...Reshiram asks if the plan really comes from a movie.” N looked searchingly at me. “What is a movie?”
“You know, like a fictional story that someone made up, that you can watch at the cinema or on a TV.”
“TV?”
God. How sad was this guy’s childhood? “You know, a box with moving pictures, made by somebody?”
“Hmmm.” N paused. Reshiram mrowled at him again.
“...She says movies aren’t the truth.”
I blinked. Yeah. Yeah, that made sense. Dragon of Truth and all.
“Yeah. Movies are fiction. You know, someone came up with a fun story, and then they had people dress up and pretend to be in the story, and they filmed it, so you can watch it like it really happened. Reshiram wouldn’t want you to enact a movie plot.”
N looked down at his Scraggy and Darumaka. “...Is this true? Was your wish based on a lie, from a ‘movie’?”
They averted their eyes sheepishly. “Scrag.”
N frowned. “Oh.”
He paused for a moment. “Well… then I suppose my plan to fulfill my friends’ desires was based on a lie.”
“Yup, it was.” I stepped closer. “And - N, you seem like a nice guy, but you know who else is definitely lying to you? Whoever raised you without movies. That’s messed up.”
N stared at me contemplatively. “Is that the truth?”
Reshiram nodded emphatically, her fluff swaying.
“Hmm.” N stroked his chin, looking down. “I think I have a lot to think about. Thank you.” He looked up at Reshiram. “Will you forgive me for straying from the truth?”
The dragon nodded with a shrug. Her fur was slowly returning to its former shape.
N smiled. “Thank you, Reshiram. I think we should return to Plasma Castle and try to uncover more truths, together. And then maybe… we can catch a movie.”
Reshiram smirked. She picked up N with her wing-claws and placed him on her back, then scooped up his other Pokémon as well.
“Farewell,” N said. “Thank you for telling me about movies.”
And with that, Reshiram took off with a playful screeeee. The waves of heat off her engine-like rear rippled my hair for a moment; then they were gone.
“Well, that sure was something,” said Elesa.
“Yup,” I said. “Hey, I know I still have to get that badge, but I’m a bit spent for today. Maybe tomorrow?”
“Sounds good.” Elesa paused, pursing her lips. “You know, I’d been meaning to screen that movie at my gym. Maybe tonight’ll be a movie night for the town on me, to make up for all this mess.”
I grinned. “I like that plan.”
I knew my journey would continue, but for now, this was a good end to a strange plot that might have stretched a lot longer, had things been different. What if N’s Pokémon hadn’t filled him up with Pokéstar Studios nonsense? It didn’t bear thinking about.
Together with Elesa, I walked back towards the Nimbasa Gym...
...only to hear aggressive flopping behind me. “Oh, yeah, sorry, Lazarus. You really saved the day. I’ll get you a full tank of chow later.”
He flopped indignantly, rolling his eyes.
“Really. I love you. A full tank of chow and you get to watch the movie with us. In the chow tank.”
Lazarus waved a fin, so as to indicate this was more or less acceptable.
I grinned. “Awesome. Let’s go.”
I recalled him back into his ball and sprinted to catch up with Elesa.
-----
Pokémon:
Basculin [Red] - “Lazarus“
Snivy - “Kyocera”
Pidove - “Ed”
Pidove - “Edd”
Pidove - “Eddy”
Sandile - “Snappy”
Fletchling - “Gabby” (With Juniper)
Badges: 3 (Basic, Toxic, Insect)Dragonfree
