Exquisite Corpse 2025: Tournament Arc
New
The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat. The whiplash of watching the Pokemon, trainers, and rules change between paragraphs. Yes, this is the Tournament Arc Exquisite Corpse of the XXXIV Olympiad 2025. The tournament itself may be all over the place, but the rules for the authors are the traditional ones: Take the last two sentences from the previous writer, and continue the story.
To find out who goes home crying and who goes home a champion, read on!
Jimmy Trainerson looked up with eager eyes at the arches of the stadium. He was finally here. The big Pokemon battling tournament. He couldn't believe he made it.
He looked down at his companion, a Varoom named Mr. Motor. He gave a wide grin.
"Ready little buddy?"
Mr. Motor gave a whirr of excitement. He was ready.
"Okay! Let's go!"
The two headed into the arena. After arranging some things at reception and waiting and prepping into a locker room they were led out into an arena. There... Stood Douchey McRival.
Jimmy scowled. "You.."
"Well well well look at what the Meowth dragged in!" chortled Douchey. "Is your totally lamer team ready to face my glory?"
"We always will be!" shouted Jimmy.
Mr. Motor gave a "vroom!" of assent.
"Well then!" Douchey cackled. "Let's see how you deal with THIS!"
He threw a Pokeball. Out popped a Garchomp.
"Hey!" yelled Jimmy. "This is just the first round opf the tournament! This isn't fair!"
"Get on my level nerd!"
The Garchomp snarled and flew forward with a Dragon Claw.
"Oh crap! That move is strong! Mr. Motor dodge!"
Mr. Motor wheeled out of the way. The Garchomp skidded to a halt.
"Swords Dance!" said Douchey.
The Garchomp pulled out a sword and did the hula.
"Now Earthquake!"
"Hey wait!" said Jimmy. "You just used a mo-"
Garchomp sent a wave of earth out at its opponent. Mr. Motor whirred in panic.
Jimmy was panicking as well.
Was this really it?
Was this the end?
Would Jimmy Trainerson fall to Douchey McRival?
2.
Jimmy wasn’t about to go down like that. After coming so far, he can’t just let himself lose like this, especially in front of everyone. He cannot allow Douchey McRival to best him like this! “Raticate!” shouted Jimmy “Go for a Super Fang!”
The rival laughed at the notion. “That’s not gonna work!” he shouted. However, to his surprise, Raticate managed to bite Kabutops and even severely damage its armor! The tall shellfish hissed in pain as it’s knocked off his feet from the strike. “What the?! How?!” the rival exclaimed.
Jimmy, looking more determined than ever, shouted “Don’t you EVER write me off!”
The rival grits his teeth and said back to him “Whatever! This changes nothing! Kabutops, use Stone Edge!”
With Kabutop’s shell damaged, it rushes forth with blazing speed to go for the finishing blow! Was this truly the end…? Jimmy… smirked at the situation. “Raticate, Sucker Punch them!”
Seeing an opening in Kabutops’ hyper aggressive approach, the Raticate swoops forward and delivers a decisive shove! That final hit decided it, as Kabutops was sent flying back, landing and rolling on the ground in defeat. The referee held up a white flag towards Douchey McRival’s side and shouted “Kabutops is unable to battle! Raticate wins!”
The audience goes wild, cheering and chanting “Jimmy! Raticate!” in unison! It was truly over… Jimmy finally managed to best Douchey McRival in battle! Jimmy smiled, then jumped up and cheered! His trustworthy companion, Raticate, began to dance for joy! After being defeated by Douchey McRival so many times, he has finally came out on top, and more importantly, he’s finally moving onto the finals!
“Yahoo! We did it, Raticate!” Jimmy cheered!
However, Jimmy’s celebration was short lived. He couldn’t help but to notice something weird with Douchey. He had his head held down, but he was… smiling. And soon he began chuckling. Jimmy was confused, his smile fading away from his face. “Hey Douchey, what’s so funny?” he asked.
The cocky rival didn’t respond immediately. In fact, he began to laugh even more. “Maybe it’s YOU who shouldn’t write me off!” Douchey McRival shouted.
It was at that very moment, the Kabutops started to get up. However, something was… different. It looked even more aggressive, in an almost feral-like state. It was coated in a shadowy cloud and emitting black sparks. The audience and even the referee gasped in complete shock and confusion, as they could not comprehend what was happening. However, this was something that Jimmy found familiar, and it was something he was hoping to never see ever again. Kabutops was a Shadow Pokemon. Jimmy and his Raticate both stared in horror, as their worst fears came true, especially now of all places.
“Douchey!” shouted Jimmy “You made Kabutops into a Shadow Pokemon?! How… how could you?!” Jimmy was shaking in complete distress. He never thought his rival would resort to this, especially within a tournament!
His rival continued to laugh and retorted “Why? Because I just can’t stand you! You never called me by my real name! Do you even remember it?”
Jimmy gasped at that question. Truth be told, he couldn’t remember Douchey’s real name. Upon realizing that he has always called his rival Douchey McRival for as long as he could remember, he stood in complete silence.
“Listen well, Jimmy.” his rival sternly demanded “My name is Noel! And you’d do best to remember it! That is, if you will live to tell the tale!”
Jimmy was completely outraged by Noel’s decision. “You did all of this just because I kept calling you Douchey?! What is wrong with you?!” he shouted.
Noel made the most evilest smirk and replied “Would you be ‘happier’ had I a ‘good reason’? If my motives met with your approval, would you no longer resent the outcome?”
Before Noel could continue, Jimmy interrupted him and yelled “I would’ve been happier if you hadn’t made your Kabutops into a Shadow Pokemon!”
3.
“Now Charizard! Flamethrower!” Jimmy called, pointing. Charizard roared and breathed a stream of flames that hit the shadow Kabutops.
Kabutops hissed and fell to one claw, but shook off the attack and rose again. It seemed only barely hurt. Jimmy’s own Charizard was panting.
‘How can I win this? Shadow Kabutops is so strong!’
Noel shook his head. “You still don’t get it, do you?” He pushed his glasses up with one finger. They caught the lights of the stadium and blocked his eyes as they shone dramatically. “This isn’t about your happiness. It is about what is necessary to win.”
His arm swept out in a commanding gesture. “Finish him, my perfect Shadow Kabutops.”
Chittering ominously, it brandished its blades, then exploded across the field in a blur. It slammed into Charizard and struck with a flurry of blows. Charizard bellowed in pain and bathed Kabutops in flames. It darted away, barely hurt.
Panting, Charizard glared across the field. Jimmy clenched his fists tighter. ‘Ngh! Is this really the end?’
“No!” Jimmy cried, guttural frustration burning in his tone. “It’s wrong! Doing bad things to get something good just makes you bad! I know a lot about this even though I’ve barely had to struggle in my life!”
“Hmph. Maybe this will change your mind.” Noel blinked slowly and gazed upward, a flicker of sadness passing over his countenance.
Jimmy clenched his fists. “What are you doing?”
Tragic music notes played from somewhere. “My tragic backstory is about to play out, of course,” Noel said, voice wavering appropriately.
I remember. A night just like this, a long time ago. As a child, all I remember is loneliness. When... when I first got glasses, they all made fun of me. Four eyes, they called me. Nobody wanted to be my friend. Then my entire family was killed in a fire that I was forced to set by Team Rocket and I was too weak to save all my family, even my extended cousins and 2nd cousins twice removed... All of them gone because I was too weak. After that I swore I’d never be too weak again, too stupid. I would be strong.
A tear trickled down his cheek and he raised one hand skyward, toward the full moon.
“I promised that day that I would do anything to protect the ones I love.”
He clenched his fist.
“That is my dream,” he whispered dramatically, now in the present, his arm still raised and fist clenched.
Sorrow overtook Jimmy. “Oh wow now that I understand you were just really sad about your family, I think we can be friends! But I can’t let your tragic backstory stop me!” Clenching his fists even harder he cried out dramatically.
“Charizard and I came too far to lose now! Go, use everything you haaavveee!”
With a dramatic roar, Charizard cloaked itself in flames and flew across the field. Somehow Shadow Kabutops didn’t dodge. Charizard hit it and knocked it flying across the stadium, knocking it out.
“Yeah!” Jimmy cheered. “You did it!”
Falling to his knees, Noel clutched his face with one hand. “How... how could I lose? To someone like you?”
Jimmy jogged over to Noel. “Because you didn’t believe in Kabutops. You don’t have to be bad or use Shadows to be strong, you just need friendship! Together, there’s nothing you can’t do!”
Still on his knees, Noel turned to look up at Jimmy. “How... how can I find friendship after everything I’ve done?”
Planting his hands on his hips, Jimmy grinned loudly. “I’ll be your friend!”
Noel stared at Jimmy, eyes going wide. “Really? How can you... after everything...?”
Jimmy beamed. “Because we’re friends now!”
Behind Noel, Shadow Kabutops relaxed its stance slightly.
“You would do that?”
“Of course,” Jimmy said brightly. “How about it? From now on, fight with your own power, not shadow power. You’re a super awesome trainer, you don’t need that to win.”
Noel blinked away a single shining tear as he rose to his feet.
Overhead, the announcer’s voice boomed from the stadium loudspeakers. “Oh my! Competitor Jimmy just used Talk No Jutsu! It’s Super Effective!” The crowd roared.
The shadows around Kabutops faded and it chittered in approval.
Noel chuckled and cocked his head back, smirking playfully. “Tch. Guess we’ll see how far your spunky attitude and empowered yelling will take you. Good luck on your next match.”
Jimmy held out his fist, and Noel bumped it with his own, determination sparking between them.
'A few more matches to crown the Tournament Super King!’ Jimmy thought. 'I'm sure nothing will interrupt it!'
Suddenly a massive golden hoop appeared in the sky, stars swirling within. Two red eyes shone from inside the hoop and then a huge ugly gray and pink beast with six arms emerged, cackling evilly.
4.
Okay, here it is, with the part intended to count as the last two sentences bolded:
The Dynamax Excadrill landed with an earth-shaking thud. “In Unova we have a saying – don’t make a mountain of a molehill, make a mole-drill into a mountain!” Clay said, and laughed boisterously. Above, the Dynamax Comfey with only golden flowers the Excadrill had jumped out of while dynamaxing was-
FWEEEEEET! The referee blew a shrill whistle blast. “Foul! Continuity violation!” He waved a red flag vigorously. “I’ll give you ‘ugly’, sure, but an Excadrill is not a ‘gray and pink beast with six arms’”!
“Hold on a minute,” Clay said. “Excadrill’s official pokedex color is gray, and he has a pink nose. Those red markings on the sides of his head could be taken for eyes, too.”
“What about the ‘six arms’?” the ref cried.
“Er… would you believe that Excadrill’s claws are actually little sub-arms coming off his main ones?”
“NO! And also, how did that ‘Dynamax Comfey’ appear out of nowhere? They can’t teleport!”
“Well, I reckon her Flower Veil ability was veiling her location-”
The referee shook his head. “That’s NOT how that ability works, and you know it! Face it, there’s no reasonable way you can ‘humorously misinterpret’ this prompt to be about anything other than Hoopa Unbound.”
The Dynamax Excadrill and Comfey both vanished in a puff of logic, and the menacing form of Hoopa Unbound took their place. “Fine, satisfied?” Clay asked.
“No, it makes no sense for Clay to have Hoopa Unbound on his team. You need to stop being Clay and start being someone else instead.”
Clay scoffed. “Well who in tarnation would have Hoopa Unbound? They ain’t exactly a common Pokemon!”
“I don’t know, maybe one of the movie characters?”
“Fine.” Clay turned around, and when he turned back he was Baraz from Hoopa and the Clash of Ages.
“Thank you. Now we can get this match started!”
Above the two contestants, Hoopa reached into one of his floating rings and pulled out a bag of Scrabble tiles, which he began to juggle. “Yes, finally! It is time to show the world Hoopa’s unmatched Scrabble skills! Hoopa knows all the two-letter words like ‘ZO’ and ‘XU’, all of them! Hoopa does not know what they mean but he does not need to know to play them, yes!”
On the opposite side of the field, Larry watched the unfolding spectacle calmly. “But do you know the three-letter words, Hoopa? Because my Dudunsparce does, and she knows what they all mean, too.”
“NO! Larry is bluffing! Only three-segment Dudunsparce can know three-letter words!”
FWEEEEEET! The ref blew on his whistle again. “Foul! Theme violation! This is supposed to be about a Pokemon battle, not a Scrabble match!”
“No, ref is wrong!” Hoopa wailed. “Theme is ‘Tournament Arc’, yes! Scrabble tournaments happen all the time!”
“I’m sorry, but the official definition of this theme on Thousand Roads is ‘Settle the question of whether Silver could beat Cheren, Kukui could beat Iris, or any other face-off you could think of, once and for all! Or try to, anyway, when the battlers keep changing and the tournament devolves into chaos!’,” the referee said, reading off a smartphone. “The usage of the word ‘battlers’ clearly implies battling.”
Baraz sighed. “Very well, if you insist… Hoopa, use Hyperspace Fury!”
“Ugh, the ref has just fouled the fun...” Hoopa moaned. Nevertheless, he launched his six arms at Larry’s Dudunsparce and pummeled the poor Pokemon until she fainted.
“A one-move K.O.? According to my calculations, that shouldn’t be possible given the relative levels of the combatants and their EV spreads,” Larry said, squinting at a graphing calculator he pulled out of his suitcase.
“Try looking down, dork!” Hoopa sneered. With a wave of his numerous arms, he brushed away some of the golden petals from Dynamax Comfey scattered on the battlefield. On the tile where Dudunsparce was resting could clearly be seen the words-
“She was sitting on top of a Triple Pain Score tile!?” Larry exclaimed.
“Yes! And now that I’ve just drawn the last Unown J from the bag, there’s no way you can-”
FWEEEEEET! “STOP! No more Scrabble!” the referee yelled. In a puff of retcon, Dudunsparce was no longer fainted.
“Our turn, then. Dudunsparce, use Lunge. It’s bug-type, somehow...” Upon Larry’s order, Dudunsparce launched into the air and bopped against Hoopa Unbound, causing him to sag to the ground and faint.
Baraz smirked as he recalled the giant Pokemon, completely unfazed. “You may have defeated Hoopa Unbound, Larry – but can you defeat my tag team partner, Clay, who not only has a Dynamax Excadrill and Comfey on his team, but who also holds a copy of the complete unabridged Unovan Scrabble Dictionary, second edition?”
The referee groaned and clutched his forehead with both hands.
5.
"Son of a whore!" Larry swore violently. He thought he had her beat with his mint copy of the unabridged Unova Scrabble Dictionary, but his was the first edition--it didn't contain the newest grammar or lingo such as "yeet" or "baller."
"Hey, none of that language!" the referee shouted. "Get your Pokemon on the field, and let's get this finished with!"
"Go, Excadrill!" the gangly man next to her--Clay, Larry assumed--shouted. In a flash, Excadrill stood on the field, growling.
"Go, Machamp!" Larry shouted. And in another flash, his ol' body-building gym buddy stood on the field, flexing his many biceps and triceps.
"Perfect!" Clay shouted. "Now we can have a Dynamax battle! Let's go, Excadrill!"And like a balloon, Excadrill inflated until he became a giant, hissing at Larry and Machamp.
"Machamp, use... uh... use your Kamehame-ha!"
Machamp held his hands centimeters apart, as if holding onto an invisible ball--but the whistle of the ref cut across Larry's voice.
"Hold it! Only Dynamax Pokemon can participate in Dynamax battles! You MUST make your Machamp go Dyanamax to proceed!"
"But I don't know how to do that!" Larry whined. "I never bothered playing the games past Black and White! What even is a Dynamax?"
"Don't tell me you have a Machamp and you don't know how to Gigantamax it?"
"Wait, what's Gigantamax? I thought this was Dynamax we were talking about?"
"Buddy," the ref says impatiently, "let's just forget about this Dynamax talk and get the battle on with. You're gonna get creamed in the first ten minutes, anyway."
"All right Machamp, back to using your kamehame-ha--what the FUCK?!" he screamed as the whistle cut across him again.
"Your Pokemon can only use a move from the official Pokemon list of moves!"
"Come on, man, kamehame-ha has been around since the dawn of time! At least since 1989!"
"Look, pal, there are 934 official Pokemon moves listed in the Trainer's hand book. You can pick any one of those to make your Machamp attack. None of this 'Kīlauea' or whatever you're calling it. Got it?"
"All right, then, Gallick Gun!"
"That's not listed, either!"
"... Kage Bunshin no jutsu?"
"Have you ever actually fought in a Pokemon battle before?"
Sweat poured down the sides of Larry's head. "Uh... Karate Chop?"
"Maaaaaa-champ!" Machamp let out a roar as he raced towards Clay's Dynamax Excadrill. Larry gripped his copy of the complete unabridged Unovan Scrabble Dictionary (first edition, he regretfully admitted) as he watched in anticipation, and the ref gave a sigh of relief that the battle was finally getting started.
6.
Machamp opened with a volley of punches, four arms blurred with the speed of his strikes. Excadrill blocked with his armored claws, then struck back with a punch of his own, a huge fist of energy that rocketed down on top of Machamp and blew a crater twenty feet wide into the arena floor. A second later Machamp was up again, shooting forward behind a mach punch. Then fire! Ice! And finally a booming mega punch that excadrill barely seemed to feel.
The ground-type spread his claws, summoning a huge pillar of earth that crashed down over Machamp and left a swirling sandstorm in its wake. Machamp climbed free of the rubble and raised his four fists skyward--then did a little jig, summoning rain clouds to clear the sand from the air. Excadrill's shoulders slumped, and he let out a skyscraper-sized grumble as water dripped from the end of his drill.
All that power, and it seemed like the trainers were content to just sling big moves back and forth. The rain dance had possibly been the most interesting choice thus far far.
Larry sighed. How boring. He went back to perusing his dictionary while the battle raged on below. The excadrill had gotten over her hyetal irritation and now raised her claws, purple flames spilling out across the battlefield and the air trembling with the solemn hymnodies of the damned as she conjured a max phantasm. Then Machamp ran up and kicked her in the shin.
"Consarn it. Dig, Excadrill! Don't just stand there and let him hit you!" Clay yelled while the pokémon hopped on one foot and whimpered, each hop shaking the stadium so hard Larry's briefcase tipped over, down by his feet.
Excadrill vanished in a plume of dirt and rock. Machamp was left peering over the edge of a massive hole in the ground, searching in vain for his hypogeal opponent.
With the level of hyponoia the machamp's trainer was exhibiting, this battle probably wouldn't even last into the I's. How disappointing. Larry'd skipped out on paperwork for this?
"Oh my goooooddddd! Pop off, chat, it's our favorite #gymbro, Larry!"
Larry froze. Oh no. He really should have stayed home and re-done his taxes today. "Hello, Iono," he said into the magnemite that had shoved right up into his face.
"Heeeeyyyyy, Larry!" Iono plopped into the seat next to him, flashing a quick peace sign for her stream before slouching back with a hand on Larry's shoulder. "Isn't this exciting? I've never gotten to see a dynamax in person before. Whosawhatsit! This battle's gonna do huge numbers!"
"Thrilling." Larry was looking around for escape routes. He always made sure to memorize the nearest emergency exit turing the stadium's safety announcement, but that path was currently blocked by a snorlax extorting her trainer for hot dogs.
A sudden surge in crowd noise made him glance back at the field. Excadrill had reappeared and, somehow, machamp had hoisted the huge pokémon above his head. The fighting-type's four arms trembled with effort, and then, with a roar, Machamp hurled Excadrill into the air.
The ground-type fell back to earth with a crash that shook the stadium on its foundations. The crowd howled with excitement as Excadrill shrank in violent bursts, a series of explosions rocking the stands. Flames jetted fifty feet into the air. Debris mushroomed up in great clouds, completely obscuring the arena. A shock wave blew Larry's tie back over his shoulder.
"Eeeeee!" Iono squealed, directly in Larry's ear. He closed his eyes in mute pain. "Wow. What a dyna-mite finish! Okay, chat, get your votes in--what's Clay's next pokémon going to be?"
7.
mach0ke0nDN: Excadrill for sure
mach0ke0nDN: makes the most sense
WhosYourKrabby: bruh r ur eyes painted on y would he not send out palpitoad here
WhosYourKrabby: ur takes have been bad this whole match
mach0ke0nDN: i can read the cholesterol in your messages
[USER mach0ke0nDN HAS BEEN MUTED FOR 300 SECONDS]
JIGGLYPI$$: took mods long enough, damn
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: NEway palpitoad
Weedle420: palpitoad
ExcelEntei: pALPITOADDD
Unfezantsmell: Palpitoad
EEVEENINGromp133: palpable
chikotreata: palpy
EEVEENINGromp133: *palpitoad
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: ew don’t call him that
chikotreata: *SHE
chikotreata: Don’t misgender palpitoad 😡😡😡😡
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: srry i’m new here never seen Clay battle before 🙏
JIGGLYPI$$: it’s okay nbd homie
chikotreata: yES IT IS
chikotreata: im so SICK of bigots in these chats
chikotreata: you guys are part of the problem you know that right
[USER chikotreata HAS BEEN MUTED FOR 300 SECONDS]
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: NEwaaaaatyyyyy
WhosYourKrabby: weirdos in chat todayy OMEGALUL
ExcelEntei: NO FUCKING WAY
ExcelEntei: WHY DID HE SEND OUT EXCADRILL
ExcelEntei: ITS A FUCKING EMBOAR HE’S GONNA GET SMOKED
JIGGLYPI$$: bro’s THROWING
Weedle420: would
EEVEENINGromp133: ^^^mods this one too
Weedle420: I calls them like i sees them
WhosYourKrabby: Y would he do this
WhosYourKrabby: how wuz machoke RIGHT
WhosYourKrabby: theres no way
Unfezantsmell: Look I know he’s a gym leader and all this kid is like 6 but Krokorok got obliterated; why would he play around with this?
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: that
JIGGLYPI$$: oh my god excadrill is already wobbling
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: mind blown??????????
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: emboar can learn mind blown????????
JIGGLYPI$$: news to me wtf
ExcelEntei: THIS CHILD IS 6 WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM LOL
ExcelEntei: CLAY WHAT THE CUCK
ExcelEntei: *FUCK
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: well
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: if this is how clay normally battles
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: i could see it
JIGGLYPI$$: it’s not
Weedle420: Definitely not
Weedle420: as much as I love Excadrill, he knows better
EEVEENINGromp133: Guys I have a theory
ExcelEntei: Clay i’m BEGGING you please send out palpitoad
ExcelEntei: what the actual FUCK are you doing
Unfezantsmell: I was going to hypothesize that he’s trying a new technique with Excadrill but I’m not seeing anything that indicates he is
Unfezantsmell: They’re just kind of going in like there’s no type advantage working against them
WhosYourKrabby: so weird wtaf
JIGGLYPI$$: do you think he’s throwing on purpose?
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: wy would he do that?
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: idk but that feels like the only thing that makes sense
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: what the hell is this emboar WHY is it using magma storm????????
EEVEENINGromp133: Well thats my theory
EEVEENINGromp133: Y’all know about the fixed battle rings where they hand underqualified trainers these obscene Pokemon and then rig the matches in their favor?
WhosYourKrabby: huh thats a thing?
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: what
JIGGLYPI$$: i did but i thought it was some um ackshually neckbeard bullshit
Unfezantsmell: I have heard of that, actually
Unfezantsmell: Had a similar thought but was hoping Clay wouldn’t stoop that low
Weedle420: unfortunate it has to happen at the expense of Excadrill
ExcelEntei: honestly I’ll take that being the case over whatever the fuck i’m watcjing right now because i’m about to crash out
ExcelEntei: holy SHITjablcl @/“4$;9@
ExcelEntei: abslw!-$2 lapw! N ()$/@2”
ExcelEntei: /$/@. 7.
ExcelEntei: /. m
EEVENINGromp133: I give that keyboard smash a solid 7/10
mach0ke0nDN: well well well
WhosYourKrabby: fuck
mach0ke0nDN: what was all that about Clay not sending out Excadrill?
Unfezantsmell: I maintain my stance that it needed to be Palpitoad, sorry
EEVEENINGromp133: and it’s 100% rigged
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: And I STILL don’t know why or how this emboar knows mind blown and magma storm???
chikotreata: just like a man to put down a strong, independent emboar!!!!
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: i’m a girl, fuckass
JIGGLYPI$$: mods PLEASE
Weedle420: Poor Excadrill
8.
“Excadrill is knocked out, the winner of the match is Cynthia!” The announcer spoke.
“Oh my Arceus, this is like the battle of the century!” The audience yelled with excitement as a man wearing an over the top cape walked towards the arena.
The announcer spoke once again: “Now, it is time for the finale of the match! The beautiful champion of the Sinnoh region, Cynthia, will now face off against the self-proclaimed undefeated Galar champion, Leon!”
The powerful battlers walked on stage, as the crowd cheered.
Cynthia was the first to initiate the battle. “Spiritomb, use Phantom Force!” The soul pokemon vanished into the ground in preparation for a spectral strike.
However, Leon wouldn’t lose so easily. “Aegislash, use Swords Dance!” The blade pokemon swung its body around in a flowing dance-like motion, boosting its combat spirit in a way that would make its next attack more powerful.
Spiritomb re-emerged from the ghostly plane, unleashing a phantasmal attack to nearly knock out the Aegislash. Then, Leon pulled an unexpected decision. “Aegislash, return. Go, Dragapult and use Dragon Pulse!”
A ghostly draconic pokemon appeared from Leon’s pokeball, unleashing a pulse of draconic energy from its mouth, which knocked out the Spiritomb.
“Come on out, Togekiss!” Cynthia sent out her second pokemon. It seemed like a ridiculous decision, as Dragaplut knew the move Thunderbolt, a move that would be super effective against Togekiss.
However, when Leon was about to order his Dragapult to use Thunderbolt, it didn’t seem to be able to use the move. The Dragapult’s held choice specs prevented it from being able to use a move other than Dragon Pulse, which Togekiss was immune to.
Suddenly, someone arrived on the battlefield. A different trainer from the Galar region.
“There is one more pokemon here than there should be!” The Galarian trainer, also known as Gloria said, pointing her finger towards what appeared to be Leon.
“D-Ditto?” was the only sound that came out of his mouth.
“Ok what the heck is happening right now?” Cynthia was confused.
“The real Leon isn’t here. He got lost somewhere on the way to the tournament.” Gloria stated.
“So.. uh, can we consider this a draw?” The announcer asked, not knowing what should be done.
To find out who goes home crying and who goes home a champion, read on!
Thousand Roads Exquisite Corpse MMXXV
Tournament Arc
1.Tournament Arc
Jimmy Trainerson looked up with eager eyes at the arches of the stadium. He was finally here. The big Pokemon battling tournament. He couldn't believe he made it.
He looked down at his companion, a Varoom named Mr. Motor. He gave a wide grin.
"Ready little buddy?"
Mr. Motor gave a whirr of excitement. He was ready.
"Okay! Let's go!"
The two headed into the arena. After arranging some things at reception and waiting and prepping into a locker room they were led out into an arena. There... Stood Douchey McRival.
Jimmy scowled. "You.."
"Well well well look at what the Meowth dragged in!" chortled Douchey. "Is your totally lamer team ready to face my glory?"
"We always will be!" shouted Jimmy.
Mr. Motor gave a "vroom!" of assent.
"Well then!" Douchey cackled. "Let's see how you deal with THIS!"
He threw a Pokeball. Out popped a Garchomp.
"Hey!" yelled Jimmy. "This is just the first round opf the tournament! This isn't fair!"
"Get on my level nerd!"
The Garchomp snarled and flew forward with a Dragon Claw.
"Oh crap! That move is strong! Mr. Motor dodge!"
Mr. Motor wheeled out of the way. The Garchomp skidded to a halt.
"Swords Dance!" said Douchey.
The Garchomp pulled out a sword and did the hula.
"Now Earthquake!"
"Hey wait!" said Jimmy. "You just used a mo-"
Garchomp sent a wave of earth out at its opponent. Mr. Motor whirred in panic.
Jimmy was panicking as well.
Was this really it?
Was this the end?
Would Jimmy Trainerson fall to Douchey McRival?
2.
Jimmy wasn’t about to go down like that. After coming so far, he can’t just let himself lose like this, especially in front of everyone. He cannot allow Douchey McRival to best him like this! “Raticate!” shouted Jimmy “Go for a Super Fang!”
The rival laughed at the notion. “That’s not gonna work!” he shouted. However, to his surprise, Raticate managed to bite Kabutops and even severely damage its armor! The tall shellfish hissed in pain as it’s knocked off his feet from the strike. “What the?! How?!” the rival exclaimed.
Jimmy, looking more determined than ever, shouted “Don’t you EVER write me off!”
The rival grits his teeth and said back to him “Whatever! This changes nothing! Kabutops, use Stone Edge!”
With Kabutop’s shell damaged, it rushes forth with blazing speed to go for the finishing blow! Was this truly the end…? Jimmy… smirked at the situation. “Raticate, Sucker Punch them!”
Seeing an opening in Kabutops’ hyper aggressive approach, the Raticate swoops forward and delivers a decisive shove! That final hit decided it, as Kabutops was sent flying back, landing and rolling on the ground in defeat. The referee held up a white flag towards Douchey McRival’s side and shouted “Kabutops is unable to battle! Raticate wins!”
The audience goes wild, cheering and chanting “Jimmy! Raticate!” in unison! It was truly over… Jimmy finally managed to best Douchey McRival in battle! Jimmy smiled, then jumped up and cheered! His trustworthy companion, Raticate, began to dance for joy! After being defeated by Douchey McRival so many times, he has finally came out on top, and more importantly, he’s finally moving onto the finals!
“Yahoo! We did it, Raticate!” Jimmy cheered!
However, Jimmy’s celebration was short lived. He couldn’t help but to notice something weird with Douchey. He had his head held down, but he was… smiling. And soon he began chuckling. Jimmy was confused, his smile fading away from his face. “Hey Douchey, what’s so funny?” he asked.
The cocky rival didn’t respond immediately. In fact, he began to laugh even more. “Maybe it’s YOU who shouldn’t write me off!” Douchey McRival shouted.
It was at that very moment, the Kabutops started to get up. However, something was… different. It looked even more aggressive, in an almost feral-like state. It was coated in a shadowy cloud and emitting black sparks. The audience and even the referee gasped in complete shock and confusion, as they could not comprehend what was happening. However, this was something that Jimmy found familiar, and it was something he was hoping to never see ever again. Kabutops was a Shadow Pokemon. Jimmy and his Raticate both stared in horror, as their worst fears came true, especially now of all places.
“Douchey!” shouted Jimmy “You made Kabutops into a Shadow Pokemon?! How… how could you?!” Jimmy was shaking in complete distress. He never thought his rival would resort to this, especially within a tournament!
His rival continued to laugh and retorted “Why? Because I just can’t stand you! You never called me by my real name! Do you even remember it?”
Jimmy gasped at that question. Truth be told, he couldn’t remember Douchey’s real name. Upon realizing that he has always called his rival Douchey McRival for as long as he could remember, he stood in complete silence.
“Listen well, Jimmy.” his rival sternly demanded “My name is Noel! And you’d do best to remember it! That is, if you will live to tell the tale!”
Jimmy was completely outraged by Noel’s decision. “You did all of this just because I kept calling you Douchey?! What is wrong with you?!” he shouted.
Noel made the most evilest smirk and replied “Would you be ‘happier’ had I a ‘good reason’? If my motives met with your approval, would you no longer resent the outcome?”
Before Noel could continue, Jimmy interrupted him and yelled “I would’ve been happier if you hadn’t made your Kabutops into a Shadow Pokemon!”
3.
“Now Charizard! Flamethrower!” Jimmy called, pointing. Charizard roared and breathed a stream of flames that hit the shadow Kabutops.
Kabutops hissed and fell to one claw, but shook off the attack and rose again. It seemed only barely hurt. Jimmy’s own Charizard was panting.
‘How can I win this? Shadow Kabutops is so strong!’
Noel shook his head. “You still don’t get it, do you?” He pushed his glasses up with one finger. They caught the lights of the stadium and blocked his eyes as they shone dramatically. “This isn’t about your happiness. It is about what is necessary to win.”
His arm swept out in a commanding gesture. “Finish him, my perfect Shadow Kabutops.”
Chittering ominously, it brandished its blades, then exploded across the field in a blur. It slammed into Charizard and struck with a flurry of blows. Charizard bellowed in pain and bathed Kabutops in flames. It darted away, barely hurt.
Panting, Charizard glared across the field. Jimmy clenched his fists tighter. ‘Ngh! Is this really the end?’
“No!” Jimmy cried, guttural frustration burning in his tone. “It’s wrong! Doing bad things to get something good just makes you bad! I know a lot about this even though I’ve barely had to struggle in my life!”
“Hmph. Maybe this will change your mind.” Noel blinked slowly and gazed upward, a flicker of sadness passing over his countenance.
Jimmy clenched his fists. “What are you doing?”
Tragic music notes played from somewhere. “My tragic backstory is about to play out, of course,” Noel said, voice wavering appropriately.
I remember. A night just like this, a long time ago. As a child, all I remember is loneliness. When... when I first got glasses, they all made fun of me. Four eyes, they called me. Nobody wanted to be my friend. Then my entire family was killed in a fire that I was forced to set by Team Rocket and I was too weak to save all my family, even my extended cousins and 2nd cousins twice removed... All of them gone because I was too weak. After that I swore I’d never be too weak again, too stupid. I would be strong.
A tear trickled down his cheek and he raised one hand skyward, toward the full moon.
“I promised that day that I would do anything to protect the ones I love.”
He clenched his fist.
“That is my dream,” he whispered dramatically, now in the present, his arm still raised and fist clenched.
Sorrow overtook Jimmy. “Oh wow now that I understand you were just really sad about your family, I think we can be friends! But I can’t let your tragic backstory stop me!” Clenching his fists even harder he cried out dramatically.
“Charizard and I came too far to lose now! Go, use everything you haaavveee!”
With a dramatic roar, Charizard cloaked itself in flames and flew across the field. Somehow Shadow Kabutops didn’t dodge. Charizard hit it and knocked it flying across the stadium, knocking it out.
“Yeah!” Jimmy cheered. “You did it!”
Falling to his knees, Noel clutched his face with one hand. “How... how could I lose? To someone like you?”
Jimmy jogged over to Noel. “Because you didn’t believe in Kabutops. You don’t have to be bad or use Shadows to be strong, you just need friendship! Together, there’s nothing you can’t do!”
Still on his knees, Noel turned to look up at Jimmy. “How... how can I find friendship after everything I’ve done?”
Planting his hands on his hips, Jimmy grinned loudly. “I’ll be your friend!”
Noel stared at Jimmy, eyes going wide. “Really? How can you... after everything...?”
Jimmy beamed. “Because we’re friends now!”
Behind Noel, Shadow Kabutops relaxed its stance slightly.
“You would do that?”
“Of course,” Jimmy said brightly. “How about it? From now on, fight with your own power, not shadow power. You’re a super awesome trainer, you don’t need that to win.”
Noel blinked away a single shining tear as he rose to his feet.
Overhead, the announcer’s voice boomed from the stadium loudspeakers. “Oh my! Competitor Jimmy just used Talk No Jutsu! It’s Super Effective!” The crowd roared.
The shadows around Kabutops faded and it chittered in approval.
Noel chuckled and cocked his head back, smirking playfully. “Tch. Guess we’ll see how far your spunky attitude and empowered yelling will take you. Good luck on your next match.”
Jimmy held out his fist, and Noel bumped it with his own, determination sparking between them.
'A few more matches to crown the Tournament Super King!’ Jimmy thought. 'I'm sure nothing will interrupt it!'
Suddenly a massive golden hoop appeared in the sky, stars swirling within. Two red eyes shone from inside the hoop and then a huge ugly gray and pink beast with six arms emerged, cackling evilly.
4.
Okay, here it is, with the part intended to count as the last two sentences bolded:
The Dynamax Excadrill landed with an earth-shaking thud. “In Unova we have a saying – don’t make a mountain of a molehill, make a mole-drill into a mountain!” Clay said, and laughed boisterously. Above, the Dynamax Comfey with only golden flowers the Excadrill had jumped out of while dynamaxing was-
FWEEEEEET! The referee blew a shrill whistle blast. “Foul! Continuity violation!” He waved a red flag vigorously. “I’ll give you ‘ugly’, sure, but an Excadrill is not a ‘gray and pink beast with six arms’”!
“Hold on a minute,” Clay said. “Excadrill’s official pokedex color is gray, and he has a pink nose. Those red markings on the sides of his head could be taken for eyes, too.”
“What about the ‘six arms’?” the ref cried.
“Er… would you believe that Excadrill’s claws are actually little sub-arms coming off his main ones?”
“NO! And also, how did that ‘Dynamax Comfey’ appear out of nowhere? They can’t teleport!”
“Well, I reckon her Flower Veil ability was veiling her location-”
The referee shook his head. “That’s NOT how that ability works, and you know it! Face it, there’s no reasonable way you can ‘humorously misinterpret’ this prompt to be about anything other than Hoopa Unbound.”
The Dynamax Excadrill and Comfey both vanished in a puff of logic, and the menacing form of Hoopa Unbound took their place. “Fine, satisfied?” Clay asked.
“No, it makes no sense for Clay to have Hoopa Unbound on his team. You need to stop being Clay and start being someone else instead.”
Clay scoffed. “Well who in tarnation would have Hoopa Unbound? They ain’t exactly a common Pokemon!”
“I don’t know, maybe one of the movie characters?”
“Fine.” Clay turned around, and when he turned back he was Baraz from Hoopa and the Clash of Ages.
“Thank you. Now we can get this match started!”
Above the two contestants, Hoopa reached into one of his floating rings and pulled out a bag of Scrabble tiles, which he began to juggle. “Yes, finally! It is time to show the world Hoopa’s unmatched Scrabble skills! Hoopa knows all the two-letter words like ‘ZO’ and ‘XU’, all of them! Hoopa does not know what they mean but he does not need to know to play them, yes!”
On the opposite side of the field, Larry watched the unfolding spectacle calmly. “But do you know the three-letter words, Hoopa? Because my Dudunsparce does, and she knows what they all mean, too.”
“NO! Larry is bluffing! Only three-segment Dudunsparce can know three-letter words!”
FWEEEEEET! The ref blew on his whistle again. “Foul! Theme violation! This is supposed to be about a Pokemon battle, not a Scrabble match!”
“No, ref is wrong!” Hoopa wailed. “Theme is ‘Tournament Arc’, yes! Scrabble tournaments happen all the time!”
“I’m sorry, but the official definition of this theme on Thousand Roads is ‘Settle the question of whether Silver could beat Cheren, Kukui could beat Iris, or any other face-off you could think of, once and for all! Or try to, anyway, when the battlers keep changing and the tournament devolves into chaos!’,” the referee said, reading off a smartphone. “The usage of the word ‘battlers’ clearly implies battling.”
Baraz sighed. “Very well, if you insist… Hoopa, use Hyperspace Fury!”
“Ugh, the ref has just fouled the fun...” Hoopa moaned. Nevertheless, he launched his six arms at Larry’s Dudunsparce and pummeled the poor Pokemon until she fainted.
“A one-move K.O.? According to my calculations, that shouldn’t be possible given the relative levels of the combatants and their EV spreads,” Larry said, squinting at a graphing calculator he pulled out of his suitcase.
“Try looking down, dork!” Hoopa sneered. With a wave of his numerous arms, he brushed away some of the golden petals from Dynamax Comfey scattered on the battlefield. On the tile where Dudunsparce was resting could clearly be seen the words-
“She was sitting on top of a Triple Pain Score tile!?” Larry exclaimed.
“Yes! And now that I’ve just drawn the last Unown J from the bag, there’s no way you can-”
FWEEEEEET! “STOP! No more Scrabble!” the referee yelled. In a puff of retcon, Dudunsparce was no longer fainted.
“Our turn, then. Dudunsparce, use Lunge. It’s bug-type, somehow...” Upon Larry’s order, Dudunsparce launched into the air and bopped against Hoopa Unbound, causing him to sag to the ground and faint.
Baraz smirked as he recalled the giant Pokemon, completely unfazed. “You may have defeated Hoopa Unbound, Larry – but can you defeat my tag team partner, Clay, who not only has a Dynamax Excadrill and Comfey on his team, but who also holds a copy of the complete unabridged Unovan Scrabble Dictionary, second edition?”
The referee groaned and clutched his forehead with both hands.
5.
"Son of a whore!" Larry swore violently. He thought he had her beat with his mint copy of the unabridged Unova Scrabble Dictionary, but his was the first edition--it didn't contain the newest grammar or lingo such as "yeet" or "baller."
"Hey, none of that language!" the referee shouted. "Get your Pokemon on the field, and let's get this finished with!"
"Go, Excadrill!" the gangly man next to her--Clay, Larry assumed--shouted. In a flash, Excadrill stood on the field, growling.
"Go, Machamp!" Larry shouted. And in another flash, his ol' body-building gym buddy stood on the field, flexing his many biceps and triceps.
"Perfect!" Clay shouted. "Now we can have a Dynamax battle! Let's go, Excadrill!"And like a balloon, Excadrill inflated until he became a giant, hissing at Larry and Machamp.
"Machamp, use... uh... use your Kamehame-ha!"
Machamp held his hands centimeters apart, as if holding onto an invisible ball--but the whistle of the ref cut across Larry's voice.
"Hold it! Only Dynamax Pokemon can participate in Dynamax battles! You MUST make your Machamp go Dyanamax to proceed!"
"But I don't know how to do that!" Larry whined. "I never bothered playing the games past Black and White! What even is a Dynamax?"
"Don't tell me you have a Machamp and you don't know how to Gigantamax it?"
"Wait, what's Gigantamax? I thought this was Dynamax we were talking about?"
"Buddy," the ref says impatiently, "let's just forget about this Dynamax talk and get the battle on with. You're gonna get creamed in the first ten minutes, anyway."
"All right Machamp, back to using your kamehame-ha--what the FUCK?!" he screamed as the whistle cut across him again.
"Your Pokemon can only use a move from the official Pokemon list of moves!"
"Come on, man, kamehame-ha has been around since the dawn of time! At least since 1989!"
"Look, pal, there are 934 official Pokemon moves listed in the Trainer's hand book. You can pick any one of those to make your Machamp attack. None of this 'Kīlauea' or whatever you're calling it. Got it?"
"All right, then, Gallick Gun!"
"That's not listed, either!"
"... Kage Bunshin no jutsu?"
"Have you ever actually fought in a Pokemon battle before?"
Sweat poured down the sides of Larry's head. "Uh... Karate Chop?"
"Maaaaaa-champ!" Machamp let out a roar as he raced towards Clay's Dynamax Excadrill. Larry gripped his copy of the complete unabridged Unovan Scrabble Dictionary (first edition, he regretfully admitted) as he watched in anticipation, and the ref gave a sigh of relief that the battle was finally getting started.
6.
Machamp opened with a volley of punches, four arms blurred with the speed of his strikes. Excadrill blocked with his armored claws, then struck back with a punch of his own, a huge fist of energy that rocketed down on top of Machamp and blew a crater twenty feet wide into the arena floor. A second later Machamp was up again, shooting forward behind a mach punch. Then fire! Ice! And finally a booming mega punch that excadrill barely seemed to feel.
The ground-type spread his claws, summoning a huge pillar of earth that crashed down over Machamp and left a swirling sandstorm in its wake. Machamp climbed free of the rubble and raised his four fists skyward--then did a little jig, summoning rain clouds to clear the sand from the air. Excadrill's shoulders slumped, and he let out a skyscraper-sized grumble as water dripped from the end of his drill.
All that power, and it seemed like the trainers were content to just sling big moves back and forth. The rain dance had possibly been the most interesting choice thus far far.
Larry sighed. How boring. He went back to perusing his dictionary while the battle raged on below. The excadrill had gotten over her hyetal irritation and now raised her claws, purple flames spilling out across the battlefield and the air trembling with the solemn hymnodies of the damned as she conjured a max phantasm. Then Machamp ran up and kicked her in the shin.
"Consarn it. Dig, Excadrill! Don't just stand there and let him hit you!" Clay yelled while the pokémon hopped on one foot and whimpered, each hop shaking the stadium so hard Larry's briefcase tipped over, down by his feet.
Excadrill vanished in a plume of dirt and rock. Machamp was left peering over the edge of a massive hole in the ground, searching in vain for his hypogeal opponent.
With the level of hyponoia the machamp's trainer was exhibiting, this battle probably wouldn't even last into the I's. How disappointing. Larry'd skipped out on paperwork for this?
"Oh my goooooddddd! Pop off, chat, it's our favorite #gymbro, Larry!"
Larry froze. Oh no. He really should have stayed home and re-done his taxes today. "Hello, Iono," he said into the magnemite that had shoved right up into his face.
"Heeeeyyyyy, Larry!" Iono plopped into the seat next to him, flashing a quick peace sign for her stream before slouching back with a hand on Larry's shoulder. "Isn't this exciting? I've never gotten to see a dynamax in person before. Whosawhatsit! This battle's gonna do huge numbers!"
"Thrilling." Larry was looking around for escape routes. He always made sure to memorize the nearest emergency exit turing the stadium's safety announcement, but that path was currently blocked by a snorlax extorting her trainer for hot dogs.
A sudden surge in crowd noise made him glance back at the field. Excadrill had reappeared and, somehow, machamp had hoisted the huge pokémon above his head. The fighting-type's four arms trembled with effort, and then, with a roar, Machamp hurled Excadrill into the air.
The ground-type fell back to earth with a crash that shook the stadium on its foundations. The crowd howled with excitement as Excadrill shrank in violent bursts, a series of explosions rocking the stands. Flames jetted fifty feet into the air. Debris mushroomed up in great clouds, completely obscuring the arena. A shock wave blew Larry's tie back over his shoulder.
"Eeeeee!" Iono squealed, directly in Larry's ear. He closed his eyes in mute pain. "Wow. What a dyna-mite finish! Okay, chat, get your votes in--what's Clay's next pokémon going to be?"
7.
mach0ke0nDN: Excadrill for sure
mach0ke0nDN: makes the most sense
WhosYourKrabby: bruh r ur eyes painted on y would he not send out palpitoad here
WhosYourKrabby: ur takes have been bad this whole match
mach0ke0nDN: i can read the cholesterol in your messages
[USER mach0ke0nDN HAS BEEN MUTED FOR 300 SECONDS]
JIGGLYPI$$: took mods long enough, damn
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: NEway palpitoad
Weedle420: palpitoad
ExcelEntei: pALPITOADDD
Unfezantsmell: Palpitoad
EEVEENINGromp133: palpable
chikotreata: palpy
EEVEENINGromp133: *palpitoad
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: ew don’t call him that
chikotreata: *SHE
chikotreata: Don’t misgender palpitoad 😡😡😡😡
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: srry i’m new here never seen Clay battle before 🙏
JIGGLYPI$$: it’s okay nbd homie
chikotreata: yES IT IS
chikotreata: im so SICK of bigots in these chats
chikotreata: you guys are part of the problem you know that right
[USER chikotreata HAS BEEN MUTED FOR 300 SECONDS]
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: NEwaaaaatyyyyy
WhosYourKrabby: weirdos in chat todayy OMEGALUL
ExcelEntei: NO FUCKING WAY
ExcelEntei: WHY DID HE SEND OUT EXCADRILL
ExcelEntei: ITS A FUCKING EMBOAR HE’S GONNA GET SMOKED
JIGGLYPI$$: bro’s THROWING
Weedle420: would
EEVEENINGromp133: ^^^mods this one too
Weedle420: I calls them like i sees them
WhosYourKrabby: Y would he do this
WhosYourKrabby: how wuz machoke RIGHT
WhosYourKrabby: theres no way
Unfezantsmell: Look I know he’s a gym leader and all this kid is like 6 but Krokorok got obliterated; why would he play around with this?
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: that
JIGGLYPI$$: oh my god excadrill is already wobbling
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: mind blown??????????
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: emboar can learn mind blown????????
JIGGLYPI$$: news to me wtf
ExcelEntei: THIS CHILD IS 6 WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM LOL
ExcelEntei: CLAY WHAT THE CUCK
ExcelEntei: *FUCK
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: well
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: if this is how clay normally battles
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: i could see it
JIGGLYPI$$: it’s not
Weedle420: Definitely not
Weedle420: as much as I love Excadrill, he knows better
EEVEENINGromp133: Guys I have a theory
ExcelEntei: Clay i’m BEGGING you please send out palpitoad
ExcelEntei: what the actual FUCK are you doing
Unfezantsmell: I was going to hypothesize that he’s trying a new technique with Excadrill but I’m not seeing anything that indicates he is
Unfezantsmell: They’re just kind of going in like there’s no type advantage working against them
WhosYourKrabby: so weird wtaf
JIGGLYPI$$: do you think he’s throwing on purpose?
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: wy would he do that?
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: idk but that feels like the only thing that makes sense
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: what the hell is this emboar WHY is it using magma storm????????
EEVEENINGromp133: Well thats my theory
EEVEENINGromp133: Y’all know about the fixed battle rings where they hand underqualified trainers these obscene Pokemon and then rig the matches in their favor?
WhosYourKrabby: huh thats a thing?
B33drill3d_Ch33s3: what
JIGGLYPI$$: i did but i thought it was some um ackshually neckbeard bullshit
Unfezantsmell: I have heard of that, actually
Unfezantsmell: Had a similar thought but was hoping Clay wouldn’t stoop that low
Weedle420: unfortunate it has to happen at the expense of Excadrill
ExcelEntei: honestly I’ll take that being the case over whatever the fuck i’m watcjing right now because i’m about to crash out
ExcelEntei: holy SHITjablcl @/“4$;9@
ExcelEntei: abslw!-$2 lapw! N ()$/@2”
ExcelEntei: /$/@. 7.
ExcelEntei: /. m
EEVENINGromp133: I give that keyboard smash a solid 7/10
mach0ke0nDN: well well well
WhosYourKrabby: fuck
mach0ke0nDN: what was all that about Clay not sending out Excadrill?
Unfezantsmell: I maintain my stance that it needed to be Palpitoad, sorry
EEVEENINGromp133: and it’s 100% rigged
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: And I STILL don’t know why or how this emboar knows mind blown and magma storm???
chikotreata: just like a man to put down a strong, independent emboar!!!!
Zap_Dos_Scrubs: i’m a girl, fuckass
JIGGLYPI$$: mods PLEASE
Weedle420: Poor Excadrill
8.
“Excadrill is knocked out, the winner of the match is Cynthia!” The announcer spoke.
“Oh my Arceus, this is like the battle of the century!” The audience yelled with excitement as a man wearing an over the top cape walked towards the arena.
The announcer spoke once again: “Now, it is time for the finale of the match! The beautiful champion of the Sinnoh region, Cynthia, will now face off against the self-proclaimed undefeated Galar champion, Leon!”
The powerful battlers walked on stage, as the crowd cheered.
Cynthia was the first to initiate the battle. “Spiritomb, use Phantom Force!” The soul pokemon vanished into the ground in preparation for a spectral strike.
However, Leon wouldn’t lose so easily. “Aegislash, use Swords Dance!” The blade pokemon swung its body around in a flowing dance-like motion, boosting its combat spirit in a way that would make its next attack more powerful.
Spiritomb re-emerged from the ghostly plane, unleashing a phantasmal attack to nearly knock out the Aegislash. Then, Leon pulled an unexpected decision. “Aegislash, return. Go, Dragapult and use Dragon Pulse!”
A ghostly draconic pokemon appeared from Leon’s pokeball, unleashing a pulse of draconic energy from its mouth, which knocked out the Spiritomb.
“Come on out, Togekiss!” Cynthia sent out her second pokemon. It seemed like a ridiculous decision, as Dragaplut knew the move Thunderbolt, a move that would be super effective against Togekiss.
However, when Leon was about to order his Dragapult to use Thunderbolt, it didn’t seem to be able to use the move. The Dragapult’s held choice specs prevented it from being able to use a move other than Dragon Pulse, which Togekiss was immune to.
Suddenly, someone arrived on the battlefield. A different trainer from the Galar region.
“There is one more pokemon here than there should be!” The Galarian trainer, also known as Gloria said, pointing her finger towards what appeared to be Leon.
“D-Ditto?” was the only sound that came out of his mouth.
“Ok what the heck is happening right now?” Cynthia was confused.
“The real Leon isn’t here. He got lost somewhere on the way to the tournament.” Gloria stated.
“So.. uh, can we consider this a draw?” The announcer asked, not knowing what should be done.
The End
