It's finally time to dive into the second Mary-Sue Exquisite Corpse, in which our gorgeous heroine bends the world around her to her whims because she's just too perfect. Like all the other fics of its type, each author only got to see the final two sentences of the previous part of the story! Here's the list of participants in case you want to guess who wrote each part! Thanks to everyone who participated!
Ivory Snow Dove was not like other girls. She'd always been a bit of a weirdo among her classmates with her neon pink hair with yellow streaks and her two differently colored eyes. Not helping that was her sheer talent at training 'Mons (at only age 9 she'd completed the entire gym circuits of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova, Kalos, Alola, Galar, and Paldea) and being the champion of every region made her stand out even more from the rest of her highschool.
Balancing that and homework left her with little time to attend to her true passions: swooning over the perfectly muscular, triangular, chiseled face of Harold. The way his eyes spark in the sunlight under his sunglasses. The way his shining brown hair blew in the wind... Of course, all of the other boys except Harold where more than happy to try and flirt with her, but she rejected every advance for the day her one true love would finally see her for who she really is. If only he would take off those sunglasses and leather jacket.
The day started as usual for Ivory Snow Dove. Her battalion of shiny Eevees pawed at her face, right as her alarm clock rang. They followed her down the stairs in single-file as she prepared her massive stack of pancakes for breakfast. Her waist-length hair flowed ethereally behind her, (not even a good-night's sleep could make a mess of it) as she shoveled the contents of her plate into her mouth.
After cleaning her plate, Ivory Snow Dove went back upstares to pick out her outfit for the day. But instead of finding clothes in her wardrobe, she found a magical portal! Cool! she fought. I always wanted to go to Narnia!
Towards her best judgement and with nothing better to do, she stepped through. But instead of the outdoors, Ivory Snow Dove stepped into a large, circular room surrounded by Legendaries. Every one of them, from the highest of orders to the smallest of sprites. Their leader (who was not Arceus Mythicals arent cannon but the way cooler shiny! Rayquaza) cleared his throat to speak.
"Ivory Snow Dove, You have been summoned as audience to the Great Council of Legendaries as you are the only one able to stop the Darkness from consuming the world, and soon, the entire universe. You will have all of us at your beck and call. Do you accept?"
"Well if it's a world to save!" exclaimed Ivory Snow Dove, blinking her red and purple heterosexual eyes, standing in front of the Great Council of Legendaries who'd selected her as their champion to save the world, no, the universe. "Where are we dropping, boys?"
(My first fic, no flames allowed okay!! >:( )
“First, you must learn the ancient Infinity Arts,” Xerneas said.
“Infinity Arts,” she said, nodding sagely. Of course, she knew of them, they were part of her ancient family bloodline, passed down from generation to generation.
Xerneas continued, her tone very serious and grave. “Normally humans can’t even learn them, but because of your special power and skill, you can learn how to wield Mega Z Giganta Tera energy. But it will be no easy task.”
Ivory grinned shyly. “Let’s get started!” she replied quirkily, making a peace sign with her fingers and winking a hetereo sexual eye.
“Climb the tallest peak in the land of Hisui, and play this flute to summon the Original One. He will teach you what you must know.” Xerneas stepped up to Ivory and placed a delicate flute before her.
“You got it, Xe!” she chirped. She took the flute, then sent out the Mew companion who had accompanied her since birth. “Teleport me Mt Coronet!”
Mew mewed mewishly, then used its awesome teleporting ability. A second later, Ivory appeared at the base of the mountain.
It was tall, but she had always been unusually strong, not like other girls. Even though no boys looked at her : (. She started to climb the mountain when she saw a young man dangling off the side of a cliff! “Oh no!”
She quickly climbed over to him. Thanks to her 18 brothers, not only was she an amazing fighter, but she had learned how to rock climb really well. Just as she drew close, her hand slipped. “Oopsie! I’m so clumsy sometimes.” She climbed onto the ledge above him. “Need a hand?”
He nodded, and she pulled him up thanks to the strength she gained from wrestling her 18 brothers. “What’s your name?”
“K-kirk,” he stammered, staring at her.
Probably because she was so plain and normal and mousy. Not like other girls though.
“Can I follow you on your journey?” Kirk offered.
Ivory blushed and giggled. He was handsome, probably around her age (24F okay!!! She’s old!!). Blond hair and amazing blue eyes and snowy skin.
She climbed the mountain with Kirk, and they shared many stories and talked a lot. Soon they reached the peak of the mountain. It was very cold, but luckily ivory was used to the cold too (she had a lot of brothers okay!!! >:{ ).
There she played the flute. She’d never played flute before but she’d always had a knack for picking up instruments, maybe something from her mothers side of the family, except she’d never met her parents, which made her sad.
A shining golden orb appeared in the sky, and crystalline steps appeared leading up to it. She ascended the steps with ease, like a dancer. She almost tripped once but she caught herself and reached the top, where a wide floor spread before her. Arceus stood there, watching her.
“So you seek to learn the Infinite Arts,” he spoke.
“Yup!” She beamed and stuck her tongue out.
“Then first I will test you.”
A stony brown tablet appeared before Arceus and the wheel around him shifted to a rocky material.
Ivory was really smart and sent out Mew. “Turn into Lucario Form!” her Mew was especially talented at shapeshifting, especially Lucario.
Mew turned into Lucario and took up a powerful fighting pose.
“Aura Sphere!”
The massive orb hit Arceus, managing to KO it in a single blow.
“Incredible,” Arceus said. “You are truly a brilliant tactician to use a move like that. You are worthy of learning the Infinite Arts. It will take many years, but I am confident you can do it. Patience is the key.”
Arceus did a cool and super complicated pose, and a multicolored super rainbow aura formed around him. “Now—”
“Oh like this?” She did the movement, copying it exactly. Power surged through her, and a rainbow aura swirled around her form.
Arceus gasped. “Impossib-”
The rainbow lights around her grew even brighter and sprinkled with more power, her hair growing and her eyes twinkling. Finally the light faded and rainbow power swirled around her hands. Two dragon wings sprouted from her back.
Silence. Arceus stared really hard. “You have mastered it even beyond my capabilities. Impossible for a human unless...”
Flash! Her vision flashed back and suddenly she remembered everything. Her mother... was Mew. The reason she was so smart and strong, and mastered Mega Z Giganta Tera Paradox energy was because she was half legendary (which explained her hetereosexual eyes)! And now she had all the power she needed to save the universe.
“Arceus!” Mary-Ann Susan Darkness roared calmly. “I’m here to challenge you to a duel.”
Arceus stared down at the half-Giratina, half human hybrid. He knew at once that he could not win against her. And therefore there was no reason to try. Bowing his head, he rumbled, “There is no need. I clearly see that you deserve to lead the world to better prosperity. Allow me to aid you in your quest.”
“Wait, really?” she gasped.
“Yes,” Arceus grunted. “I could never hope to best someone as powerful as you. But together, we can solve all the world’s problems. We can bring peace to man and pokemon alike. And who better to do so than you, the only hybrid in the world and the master of Mega Z Giganta Tera Paradox energy.” He paused and shook his head. “Why did I name it that, anyways? Ah well.”
“This is amazing!” Mary-Ann cheered. Then her heterosexual eyes flashed as a problem occurred to her. “Except… I can’t just walk around with you by my side. That would be pretty weird.” She was pretty certain it wouldn’t actually be a problem. Nobody batted an eye when she walked around with Darkrai by her side, but this was different. This was literally pokegod.
“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Arceus hummed. Then suddenly, before her very eyes, Arceus transformed into a human. He was white with white and grey and gold robes with green gems. And white hair. And Mary-Ann couldn’t help but stare.
Oh no, he’s hot!
“Well?” Arceus giggled. “Does this form suit you better?”
“Uh… well…”
Uncertain of what to do, Mary-Ann Susan Darkness dialed up her dad, Giratina, on her brand new Rotom Phone 15 (now with standardized usb C charger per Galar-Paldean Union regulations). “Hey, Dad, I know I was supposed to defeat Arceus in order to create peace between humans and pokemon with my cool hybrid powers, but he offered me his power and turned into a generic but hot white boy and now I don’t know what to do.”
“I’m sorry what the fuck.”
Mary-Ann Susan Darkness chuckled nervously. “U-uhm…yeah. Hybrid powers won’t work if I’m swooned by him.”
She could hear Giratina heave a sigh.
“No, you must continue the quest, the prophecy must be fulfilled. You hear me, young lady?”
Mary scowled, clenching her fists.
“No! That’s unfair! I should have the freedom to do what I want!”
Another sigh was heaved on her father’s end, exasperation evident.
“You are my daughter. I have brought life to you, and you have promised to save this world; is it not a noble dream, to rid the world of evil and restore peace to all?”
Mary shook her head repeatedly.
“I am independent. I should have the right to love who I love, you can’t control that!”
“I, with the authority as your guardian, command you to stop with this rebellious streak of yours. Under standard circumstances, I would permit you to love who you love, but you are currently infatuated with the enemy: A threat to our dream of tranquility.”
Mary gritted her teeth. “Father you must understand, he is the love of my life!” Mary begged, tone somber and emotional. “If you truly love me, then…”
“No means no. Now, get to work—“
Mary’s tone raised high. “All my life, I’ve yearned for one…”
“Oh lord Arceus not this again—“
“To give me love, to treat me differently…”
“Every fucking time…”
Mary gesticulated her words, closing her eyes in grace.
“Is it a mere dream, a distant hope, is it done?”
“Can you just not.”
The singing began to intensify as Mary danced around the field. “I’m not like others; I’m special; All I want is love, not nobility,” Mary sang, her voice echoing across the horizons. “And yet, I can never, always prohibited…”
“Lord could you love literally anyone except for our enemy—”
“Trapped in misery; always limited…”
“This isn’t even good fucking singing.”
Mary heaved a sigh, before continuing her chorus. “All I wish for is just love…”
“I’m about to hang up.”
“Where are you, frightful dove—“
“Please, my ears are about to die. Sweetheart, just don’t kiss the enemy.”
“—Constricted by all, will I ever be free?”
“Lord Arceus, can you make better lyrics?”
Mary opened her eyes, before preparing herself to hit a high note.
“Oh, how I wish for love, to be free, I plea, to live a life of glea—“
“Do whatever the fuck you want I really don’t care anymore.”
Mary giggled. Oh, her companion could be so silly sometimes! But that was okay. After all, not everybody got to have a shiny Arceus as their partner Pokémon! And not everybody could perfectly understand Pokéspeech like she could, either. She smiled, took a breath, belted out the final phrase, rising to hit a high note that would put Mariah Carey to shame.
She was just so ✨blessed.✨
An orchestra spawned out of nowhere to accentuate her singing and drive the final notes home. (Thanks, Arceus!)
“I didn’t do that. By all accounts, this makes no sense. I hate this place. I hate you.”
The music ended in a drawn-out, triumphant chord. Mary beamed and spread her arms wide to nobody in particular, and when the music finally stopped, she bent into a graceful bow. “Thank you so much!” she cried to her audience.
Dead silence. Then a single person some yards away tentatively clapped. Mary looked up at Cyrus, grinning. She had done it, now. After all, if anyone could save the world with just the power of love, music, beauty, flawless hair and perfect teeth and skin that never broke out, it was her. Oh, but with the help of Arceus, of course!
“For the love of myself, do not drag me into this.”
Haha. Cheeky fella!
“I am going to obliterate your atoms into stars.”
Cyrus stood stock still, staring Mary down with that deadpan expression of his. Mary wasn’t worried, though. She waited. And waited some more. And then, as if the gods themselves had willed it—“I SAID I HAD NO PART IN THIS!”—a single tear rolled down his cheek.
“That was…beautiful,” he said in a shaky whisper. “I see now that you are truly Arceus’s Chosen.”
“Incorrect. She has glued herself to me and I cannot be rid of her. Please take her.”
Cyrus broke into sobs and a beaming smile, spreading his arms wide. “I have changed my mind! This universe is full of beauty, after all, and you have shown it to me! I will no longer destroy the universe, thanks to you. Who would have thought that after everything—the dozens of therapists, my family begging me for mercy, my beloved Pokemon appealing to me in tears, my own Team Galactic putting themselves in danger to help me see reason—it would be you, a girl I’ve never met before, who could convince me that life is worth living?”
“Yes, thats a hell of a question, isn’t it.”
Mary beamed again and mirrored Cyrus’s gesture. “I’m so flattered, sir! Come, let’s go make the world a better place! Arceus, would you do the honors?”
“No, I absolutely will n—”
Suddenly, a rainbow burst through the clouds above Spear Pillar and lowered itself down to the ground, defying all laws of physics to spread out as a path before the unlikely pair of humans. Flowers bloomed along it on either side, and Mary linked arms with Cyrus, both of them giggling like schoolchildren.
“I did not authorize that. WHO IS DOING THIS?”
Then without further ado, Mary and Cyrus stepped onto the rainbow path and skipped away into the sunset, the members of Team Galactic filing behind them and singing a random chorus.
“That does it. I quit.”
"You quit?" said the penultimate Galactic grunt in the line, turning to face the very last of them. "You can't just quit! Master Cyrus has taken a wonderful step towards a world where the human spirit has been perfected! His love for Mistress Mary proves that the human heart is capable of perfect happiness! How can you quit now??"
The final grunt crossed her arms and gave her former comrade a withering stare.
"Because I'm the only one here still sane, apparently."
She was the only one of all the Galactic grunts who flouted the uniform regulations – her uniform was practical and stylish, blending a black bodysuit patterned with cosmic stars and galaxies with a slick platinum jacket and boots, a utility harness, and a cool visor like one of those VR headsets except very practical and not lame. And her hair looked really cool and sexy, not like the other grunts, because it was grey-blue and short like Cyllene from ancient Hisui and made her look super serious.
"What do you mean, Cyllenia? Aren't you happy for Master Cyrus?"
"Ha!" Cyllenia scoffed. "That's not the true perfected human spirit. That's just dumb love at first sight, which doesn't really exist, naive people just think it exists because they're not smart enough to understand how it's just chemicals and stuff making them horny."
"...What chemicals?"
"Like, chemicals. Hormones and stuff. Whatever, that's not the point! Cyrus and Mary are just in a dumb honeymoon phase because she's all pretty and everyone thinks she's special and important, and they'll probably get divorced when it wears off, because love is fake."
"Wow, Cyllenia, I've never seen the truth before now. Master Cyrus was always so emotional and mushy, it blinded me to the truth! Now I understand that being relentlessly cynical about other people is how to truly perfect the human spirit."
Cyllenia didn't smile or even emote at all because she was stoic and cool and rational and therefore too aloof to seem pleased about anything.
Instead she said, "Good, it's about time you saw sense."
"But what will you do now?" asked the grunt.
Cyllenia smirked, but in a distant, cool way, and not at all insufferable.
"This world is flawed, just as Cyrus... my father... always said."
The grunt gasped as Cyllenia adjusted her VR visor like an anime character pushing up their glasses, and it did that flashy thing where you can't see her eyes and it makes her look smart and badass, and that's how you know that everything she says is really smart and 100% unironically endorsed by the narrative.
"So long as lame and stupid people are ruining everything, everything will completely suck," declared Cyllenia, (who was the daughter of Cyrus in case you missed that reveal). "It will only be made perfect when everyone realises that being really intelligent – which you can tell someone is because they're condescending and emotionally insincere at all times – is the only important thing, and believing in fairy tales like love is for children. Not like me. No! I'm fourteen years old and I've figured out everything I will ever need to know and have only correct opinions and accurate beliefs about the world. I'm truly Rational because I believe in belittling everyone with a lower IQ than me (mine is 199) and that makes everything I say reasonable and well-evidenced. The simple fact is, we live in a society, and only I can fix its flaws. It is up to me continue the work of my family line and make a perfect world."
To be continued in...
Thousand Roads Exquisite Corpse 2023
Mary-Sue II
Mary-Sue II
Ivory Snow Dove was not like other girls. She'd always been a bit of a weirdo among her classmates with her neon pink hair with yellow streaks and her two differently colored eyes. Not helping that was her sheer talent at training 'Mons (at only age 9 she'd completed the entire gym circuits of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova, Kalos, Alola, Galar, and Paldea) and being the champion of every region made her stand out even more from the rest of her highschool.
Balancing that and homework left her with little time to attend to her true passions: swooning over the perfectly muscular, triangular, chiseled face of Harold. The way his eyes spark in the sunlight under his sunglasses. The way his shining brown hair blew in the wind... Of course, all of the other boys except Harold where more than happy to try and flirt with her, but she rejected every advance for the day her one true love would finally see her for who she really is. If only he would take off those sunglasses and leather jacket.
The day started as usual for Ivory Snow Dove. Her battalion of shiny Eevees pawed at her face, right as her alarm clock rang. They followed her down the stairs in single-file as she prepared her massive stack of pancakes for breakfast. Her waist-length hair flowed ethereally behind her, (not even a good-night's sleep could make a mess of it) as she shoveled the contents of her plate into her mouth.
After cleaning her plate, Ivory Snow Dove went back upstares to pick out her outfit for the day. But instead of finding clothes in her wardrobe, she found a magical portal! Cool! she fought. I always wanted to go to Narnia!
Towards her best judgement and with nothing better to do, she stepped through. But instead of the outdoors, Ivory Snow Dove stepped into a large, circular room surrounded by Legendaries. Every one of them, from the highest of orders to the smallest of sprites. Their leader (who was not Arceus Mythicals arent cannon but the way cooler shiny! Rayquaza) cleared his throat to speak.
"Ivory Snow Dove, You have been summoned as audience to the Great Council of Legendaries as you are the only one able to stop the Darkness from consuming the world, and soon, the entire universe. You will have all of us at your beck and call. Do you accept?"
"Well if it's a world to save!" exclaimed Ivory Snow Dove, blinking her red and purple heterosexual eyes, standing in front of the Great Council of Legendaries who'd selected her as their champion to save the world, no, the universe. "Where are we dropping, boys?"
Inkedust
(My first fic, no flames allowed okay!! >:( )
“First, you must learn the ancient Infinity Arts,” Xerneas said.
“Infinity Arts,” she said, nodding sagely. Of course, she knew of them, they were part of her ancient family bloodline, passed down from generation to generation.
Xerneas continued, her tone very serious and grave. “Normally humans can’t even learn them, but because of your special power and skill, you can learn how to wield Mega Z Giganta Tera energy. But it will be no easy task.”
Ivory grinned shyly. “Let’s get started!” she replied quirkily, making a peace sign with her fingers and winking a hetereo sexual eye.
“Climb the tallest peak in the land of Hisui, and play this flute to summon the Original One. He will teach you what you must know.” Xerneas stepped up to Ivory and placed a delicate flute before her.
“You got it, Xe!” she chirped. She took the flute, then sent out the Mew companion who had accompanied her since birth. “Teleport me Mt Coronet!”
Mew mewed mewishly, then used its awesome teleporting ability. A second later, Ivory appeared at the base of the mountain.
It was tall, but she had always been unusually strong, not like other girls. Even though no boys looked at her : (. She started to climb the mountain when she saw a young man dangling off the side of a cliff! “Oh no!”
She quickly climbed over to him. Thanks to her 18 brothers, not only was she an amazing fighter, but she had learned how to rock climb really well. Just as she drew close, her hand slipped. “Oopsie! I’m so clumsy sometimes.” She climbed onto the ledge above him. “Need a hand?”
He nodded, and she pulled him up thanks to the strength she gained from wrestling her 18 brothers. “What’s your name?”
“K-kirk,” he stammered, staring at her.
Probably because she was so plain and normal and mousy. Not like other girls though.
“Can I follow you on your journey?” Kirk offered.
Ivory blushed and giggled. He was handsome, probably around her age (24F okay!!! She’s old!!). Blond hair and amazing blue eyes and snowy skin.
She climbed the mountain with Kirk, and they shared many stories and talked a lot. Soon they reached the peak of the mountain. It was very cold, but luckily ivory was used to the cold too (she had a lot of brothers okay!!! >:{ ).
There she played the flute. She’d never played flute before but she’d always had a knack for picking up instruments, maybe something from her mothers side of the family, except she’d never met her parents, which made her sad.
A shining golden orb appeared in the sky, and crystalline steps appeared leading up to it. She ascended the steps with ease, like a dancer. She almost tripped once but she caught herself and reached the top, where a wide floor spread before her. Arceus stood there, watching her.
“So you seek to learn the Infinite Arts,” he spoke.
“Yup!” She beamed and stuck her tongue out.
“Then first I will test you.”
A stony brown tablet appeared before Arceus and the wheel around him shifted to a rocky material.
Ivory was really smart and sent out Mew. “Turn into Lucario Form!” her Mew was especially talented at shapeshifting, especially Lucario.
Mew turned into Lucario and took up a powerful fighting pose.
“Aura Sphere!”
The massive orb hit Arceus, managing to KO it in a single blow.
“Incredible,” Arceus said. “You are truly a brilliant tactician to use a move like that. You are worthy of learning the Infinite Arts. It will take many years, but I am confident you can do it. Patience is the key.”
Arceus did a cool and super complicated pose, and a multicolored super rainbow aura formed around him. “Now—”
“Oh like this?” She did the movement, copying it exactly. Power surged through her, and a rainbow aura swirled around her form.
Arceus gasped. “Impossib-”
The rainbow lights around her grew even brighter and sprinkled with more power, her hair growing and her eyes twinkling. Finally the light faded and rainbow power swirled around her hands. Two dragon wings sprouted from her back.
Silence. Arceus stared really hard. “You have mastered it even beyond my capabilities. Impossible for a human unless...”
Flash! Her vision flashed back and suddenly she remembered everything. Her mother... was Mew. The reason she was so smart and strong, and mastered Mega Z Giganta Tera Paradox energy was because she was half legendary (which explained her hetereosexual eyes)! And now she had all the power she needed to save the universe.
Flyg0n
“Arceus!” Mary-Ann Susan Darkness roared calmly. “I’m here to challenge you to a duel.”
Arceus stared down at the half-Giratina, half human hybrid. He knew at once that he could not win against her. And therefore there was no reason to try. Bowing his head, he rumbled, “There is no need. I clearly see that you deserve to lead the world to better prosperity. Allow me to aid you in your quest.”
“Wait, really?” she gasped.
“Yes,” Arceus grunted. “I could never hope to best someone as powerful as you. But together, we can solve all the world’s problems. We can bring peace to man and pokemon alike. And who better to do so than you, the only hybrid in the world and the master of Mega Z Giganta Tera Paradox energy.” He paused and shook his head. “Why did I name it that, anyways? Ah well.”
“This is amazing!” Mary-Ann cheered. Then her heterosexual eyes flashed as a problem occurred to her. “Except… I can’t just walk around with you by my side. That would be pretty weird.” She was pretty certain it wouldn’t actually be a problem. Nobody batted an eye when she walked around with Darkrai by her side, but this was different. This was literally pokegod.
“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Arceus hummed. Then suddenly, before her very eyes, Arceus transformed into a human. He was white with white and grey and gold robes with green gems. And white hair. And Mary-Ann couldn’t help but stare.
Oh no, he’s hot!
“Well?” Arceus giggled. “Does this form suit you better?”
“Uh… well…”
Uncertain of what to do, Mary-Ann Susan Darkness dialed up her dad, Giratina, on her brand new Rotom Phone 15 (now with standardized usb C charger per Galar-Paldean Union regulations). “Hey, Dad, I know I was supposed to defeat Arceus in order to create peace between humans and pokemon with my cool hybrid powers, but he offered me his power and turned into a generic but hot white boy and now I don’t know what to do.”
windskull
“I’m sorry what the fuck.”
Mary-Ann Susan Darkness chuckled nervously. “U-uhm…yeah. Hybrid powers won’t work if I’m swooned by him.”
She could hear Giratina heave a sigh.
“No, you must continue the quest, the prophecy must be fulfilled. You hear me, young lady?”
Mary scowled, clenching her fists.
“No! That’s unfair! I should have the freedom to do what I want!”
Another sigh was heaved on her father’s end, exasperation evident.
“You are my daughter. I have brought life to you, and you have promised to save this world; is it not a noble dream, to rid the world of evil and restore peace to all?”
Mary shook her head repeatedly.
“I am independent. I should have the right to love who I love, you can’t control that!”
“I, with the authority as your guardian, command you to stop with this rebellious streak of yours. Under standard circumstances, I would permit you to love who you love, but you are currently infatuated with the enemy: A threat to our dream of tranquility.”
Mary gritted her teeth. “Father you must understand, he is the love of my life!” Mary begged, tone somber and emotional. “If you truly love me, then…”
“No means no. Now, get to work—“
Mary’s tone raised high. “All my life, I’ve yearned for one…”
“Oh lord Arceus not this again—“
“To give me love, to treat me differently…”
“Every fucking time…”
Mary gesticulated her words, closing her eyes in grace.
“Is it a mere dream, a distant hope, is it done?”
“Can you just not.”
The singing began to intensify as Mary danced around the field. “I’m not like others; I’m special; All I want is love, not nobility,” Mary sang, her voice echoing across the horizons. “And yet, I can never, always prohibited…”
“Lord could you love literally anyone except for our enemy—”
“Trapped in misery; always limited…”
“This isn’t even good fucking singing.”
Mary heaved a sigh, before continuing her chorus. “All I wish for is just love…”
“I’m about to hang up.”
“Where are you, frightful dove—“
“Please, my ears are about to die. Sweetheart, just don’t kiss the enemy.”
“—Constricted by all, will I ever be free?”
“Lord Arceus, can you make better lyrics?”
Mary opened her eyes, before preparing herself to hit a high note.
“Oh, how I wish for love, to be free, I plea, to live a life of glea—“
“Do whatever the fuck you want I really don’t care anymore.”
Shizzza
Mary giggled. Oh, her companion could be so silly sometimes! But that was okay. After all, not everybody got to have a shiny Arceus as their partner Pokémon! And not everybody could perfectly understand Pokéspeech like she could, either. She smiled, took a breath, belted out the final phrase, rising to hit a high note that would put Mariah Carey to shame.
She was just so ✨blessed.✨
An orchestra spawned out of nowhere to accentuate her singing and drive the final notes home. (Thanks, Arceus!)
“I didn’t do that. By all accounts, this makes no sense. I hate this place. I hate you.”
The music ended in a drawn-out, triumphant chord. Mary beamed and spread her arms wide to nobody in particular, and when the music finally stopped, she bent into a graceful bow. “Thank you so much!” she cried to her audience.
Dead silence. Then a single person some yards away tentatively clapped. Mary looked up at Cyrus, grinning. She had done it, now. After all, if anyone could save the world with just the power of love, music, beauty, flawless hair and perfect teeth and skin that never broke out, it was her. Oh, but with the help of Arceus, of course!
“For the love of myself, do not drag me into this.”
Haha. Cheeky fella!
“I am going to obliterate your atoms into stars.”
Cyrus stood stock still, staring Mary down with that deadpan expression of his. Mary wasn’t worried, though. She waited. And waited some more. And then, as if the gods themselves had willed it—“I SAID I HAD NO PART IN THIS!”—a single tear rolled down his cheek.
“That was…beautiful,” he said in a shaky whisper. “I see now that you are truly Arceus’s Chosen.”
“Incorrect. She has glued herself to me and I cannot be rid of her. Please take her.”
Cyrus broke into sobs and a beaming smile, spreading his arms wide. “I have changed my mind! This universe is full of beauty, after all, and you have shown it to me! I will no longer destroy the universe, thanks to you. Who would have thought that after everything—the dozens of therapists, my family begging me for mercy, my beloved Pokemon appealing to me in tears, my own Team Galactic putting themselves in danger to help me see reason—it would be you, a girl I’ve never met before, who could convince me that life is worth living?”
“Yes, thats a hell of a question, isn’t it.”
Mary beamed again and mirrored Cyrus’s gesture. “I’m so flattered, sir! Come, let’s go make the world a better place! Arceus, would you do the honors?”
“No, I absolutely will n—”
Suddenly, a rainbow burst through the clouds above Spear Pillar and lowered itself down to the ground, defying all laws of physics to spread out as a path before the unlikely pair of humans. Flowers bloomed along it on either side, and Mary linked arms with Cyrus, both of them giggling like schoolchildren.
“I did not authorize that. WHO IS DOING THIS?”
Then without further ado, Mary and Cyrus stepped onto the rainbow path and skipped away into the sunset, the members of Team Galactic filing behind them and singing a random chorus.
“That does it. I quit.”
HellowYellow17
"You quit?" said the penultimate Galactic grunt in the line, turning to face the very last of them. "You can't just quit! Master Cyrus has taken a wonderful step towards a world where the human spirit has been perfected! His love for Mistress Mary proves that the human heart is capable of perfect happiness! How can you quit now??"
The final grunt crossed her arms and gave her former comrade a withering stare.
"Because I'm the only one here still sane, apparently."
She was the only one of all the Galactic grunts who flouted the uniform regulations – her uniform was practical and stylish, blending a black bodysuit patterned with cosmic stars and galaxies with a slick platinum jacket and boots, a utility harness, and a cool visor like one of those VR headsets except very practical and not lame. And her hair looked really cool and sexy, not like the other grunts, because it was grey-blue and short like Cyllene from ancient Hisui and made her look super serious.
"What do you mean, Cyllenia? Aren't you happy for Master Cyrus?"
"Ha!" Cyllenia scoffed. "That's not the true perfected human spirit. That's just dumb love at first sight, which doesn't really exist, naive people just think it exists because they're not smart enough to understand how it's just chemicals and stuff making them horny."
"...What chemicals?"
"Like, chemicals. Hormones and stuff. Whatever, that's not the point! Cyrus and Mary are just in a dumb honeymoon phase because she's all pretty and everyone thinks she's special and important, and they'll probably get divorced when it wears off, because love is fake."
"Wow, Cyllenia, I've never seen the truth before now. Master Cyrus was always so emotional and mushy, it blinded me to the truth! Now I understand that being relentlessly cynical about other people is how to truly perfect the human spirit."
Cyllenia didn't smile or even emote at all because she was stoic and cool and rational and therefore too aloof to seem pleased about anything.
Instead she said, "Good, it's about time you saw sense."
"But what will you do now?" asked the grunt.
Cyllenia smirked, but in a distant, cool way, and not at all insufferable.
"This world is flawed, just as Cyrus... my father... always said."
The grunt gasped as Cyllenia adjusted her VR visor like an anime character pushing up their glasses, and it did that flashy thing where you can't see her eyes and it makes her look smart and badass, and that's how you know that everything she says is really smart and 100% unironically endorsed by the narrative.
"So long as lame and stupid people are ruining everything, everything will completely suck," declared Cyllenia, (who was the daughter of Cyrus in case you missed that reveal). "It will only be made perfect when everyone realises that being really intelligent – which you can tell someone is because they're condescending and emotionally insincere at all times – is the only important thing, and believing in fairy tales like love is for children. Not like me. No! I'm fourteen years old and I've figured out everything I will ever need to know and have only correct opinions and accurate beliefs about the world. I'm truly Rational because I believe in belittling everyone with a lower IQ than me (mine is 199) and that makes everything I say reasonable and well-evidenced. The simple fact is, we live in a society, and only I can fix its flaws. It is up to me continue the work of my family line and make a perfect world."
To be continued in...
Neo Team Galactic and the Perfect World! A Cyllenia Galactica Story
unrepentantAuthor