The last exquisite corpse to be read for 2022 was the second fanregion supreme corpse, hosted by Bench! Since he wasn't able to host the reading himself, I'm posting this one on his behalf. This second exploration of new lands and new mon included the following authors:
I had a lot of fun writing for this one, and I hope you enjoy reading it, too! Thanks to Bench for hosting and all the authors for putting together another fun frankenfic.
Part One
The sun began to rise off the Morning Sea, painting the seaside shack in glittering gold sunlight. The door opened and a lone man emerged into the golden dawn. He breathed in the salty morning’s breeze and regarded the ocean with a calm reverence begat from years of worship.
Without a word, he released a glowing silver serpent with majestic wings that sprouted from its scales. The Champion reached up and patted his dragon on its feathered neck, admiring the golden plumage that melted into shining silver scales. He mounted the dragon pokemon and urged it into the sky with a kick of his heels, ready to begin their daily ritual.
They surged into the air as the sun crept skyward. Every wingbeat drew in the sun’s fire, bringing a golden glow to every one of his pokemon’s wingbeats. They surged along the edge of morning, bringing the sun’s gaze to the vast expanses of the coastal plains and rolling hills that eagerly drank in the light.
The swooped low over the largest river that flowed towards the sea, following it into the valley as snow-capped mountains rose from rolling foothills. The valley cut deep and curled back on itself, blocking the sun’s light out as they made their way towards the capital. The sun-dragon shone brightly as a replacement, painting the sleepy villages and towns they soared over with her own morning sun.
The sun-serpent curled around the final bend and soared high above a lake as the sun laboured just over the peaks. The sun-dragon’s wings drank in the sunlight greedily and shone as they radiated brilliant rays of gold over the mountain lake.
A small chorus of cheers reached him from across the lake. The Champion grinned as he directed his rainbow-feathered serpent down towards the pristine white city that refused to sleep. The Radion Region’s morning ritual was now complete and he was ready to truly begin his day.
Part Two
Down along the city’s white-cobbled streets stalls were opening and people were spilling from their homes, off on their morning business now that the ritual had been observed. The Champion met up with Tlentoec where the great serpent had settled, coiled lazily around the statue of the founder and his felodon that dominated the square. Already Tlentoec was holding audience with all manner of Pokémon, many of them birds who had alighted around him as soon as he’d landed.
The Champion smiled at the serious expression on the dragon’s red-scaled face as Tlentoec listened to the chatters of a large gaggle of sparrow. Behind the drab birds a couple of queztlac waited impatiently, perched atop the founder’s stone head so their flowing green tailfeathers wouldn’t trail on the ground. Tlentoec took his work seriously, no matter how undistinguished his solicitors.
As Tlentoec worked with the Pokémon, so was it the Champion’s duty to hear the humans’ concerns. It was traditional, of course, to take audience in Tlentoec’s temple, but the Champion preferred the open air when he could get it. He seated himself on the steps that led up to the founder’s statue, not far from one of Tlentoec’s rear legs, and had only a few moments to appreciate the sunshine and the red and golden lanterns that had been strung up for the Firestone Festival before the crowd descended.
Most of the stories the Champion had heard before: complaints of Pokémon damaging crops or raiding merchant stores; people looking for information about where to find Pokémon who could interpret dreams, find gold, or heal a particular illness; trainers wanting advice for working with their Pokémon or help in guiding them through a change. The most concerning matter was a report that the mad old ghariot had been spotted by the river delta again, evidently suffering the same delusions and turning the river’s fish strange and unpalatable.
The sun climbed higher, and the Champion could gauge time nearly as well by Tlentoec’s restless shifting, the stretching and resettling of the dragon’s claws just behind his head. There was no end to the solicitors, of course, and there would be just as many again tomorrow, all clamoring for their chance at an audience with the Champion in his rainbow-feathered cloak and the legendary serpent Tlentoec, similarly attired.
“All right, that’s enough for today,” the Champion announced. Behind him Tlentoec was saying something similar to the Pokémon, sending up a loud flock of brilliant, sparking thundaws. A disgruntled tarsix sped down the steps, narrowly missing the Champion’s feet. “You may bring your questions to the square tomorrow. We’ll be here again, as sure as the sun will rise.” The Champion had to raise his voice a bit to be heard over the scraping of Tlentoec’s multicolored scales as the dragon unwound from his perch.
Their next destination would be the temple, of course, though as the Champion started down the street his mind wandered towards a certain street vendor who sold ground corn shaped to form a lycanroc’s head, covered in a blood-red sauce made from sweet and sour berries. It wasn’t tremendously far out of his way…
Lost in thought, the Champion didn’t notice the girl until she called out to him. A trainer, clearly, in the dusty green all-overs meant for the deep jungle. “I will hold an audience tomorrow,” the Champion said. “You may have my ear then.”
“It’s urgent!” the girl protested. “I’ve been flying all night!” And before the Champion could brush her aside again she blurted out, “News from the mountains! There’s smoke rising from the Skygrinder’s maw. Smoke and lightning in its billowing, flashing day and night!”
The Champion’s discomfort must have been visible even from the air, because a second later Tlentoec was there, his great head shoved between the Champion and the row of apartments along the side of the street. He nearly sent the Champion staggering into the girl; only a grab for the thick ruff of feathers around the dragon’s neck saved him.
“Who told you this?” he demanded. “What proof do you have?”
“I saw it myself,” the girl said, defiant despite the ragged state of her clothing and Tlentoec’s hostile glare. “That’s all the proof I need.”
Skygrinder smoking—worse, sparking, releasing its unclean spirits into the world? When there had been nothing and no warning, no transgression to warrant such a punishment? The Champion didn’t want to believe it. But then again, whoever did, when confronted by such calamity?
The creatures trapped under Skygrinder’s rocky slopes were little more than tales, but tales well-remembered for their dire warnings. What sorts of twisted monsters would spill from their prison there, with nothing but one Champion and his rainbow-scaled serpent to stand between them and the sleepless city’s white-clad walls?
Part Three
Well, there were some that they absolutely needed to be worried about. The beasts that could bring a king to his knees, and a make a saint question their faith.
All seven of those wretched legendaries.
"̶H̴E̸Y̶,̸ ̷H̴O̵E̷B̶A̸G̶S̵.̴ ̸I̷ ̸P̸L̶E̵A̴D̸ ̷T̴H̶E̵ ̶F̵U̴C̵K̶I̴N̴G̵ ̵F̶I̴F̴T̸H̴.̵"̷
The Pokemon of Wrath held her head to the iron bars of her prison, hoping to wedge some of them open just wide enough to slip out. When no such thing happened, she reeled back and charged for it, sending her full body weight into the metal. That should have been enough, but the sheer pain that traveled through her head and down her entire bramble body as she doubled over said otherwise.
"̷M̸a̶a̶a̸a̷a̸a̷a̸a̷a̵a̶a̷a̵n̵,̸"̸ Venira groaned from her new spot on the jail floor. "̵W̶h̸e̷n̴ ̴I̷ ̸g̶e̸t̴ ̵o̷u̵t̷ ̷o̵f̸ ̷h̴e̸r̶e̵,̶ ̷I̵'̴m̵ ̵g̵o̷n̶n̴a̵ ̵s̶t̸r̶a̸p̴ ̶a̶l̷l̷ ̵y̸o̷u̵ ̸m̴o̶r̸t̷a̸l̷s̸ ̵t̵o̷e̸s̶ ̸f̵i̷r̴s̸t̷ ̴t̷o̷ ̸a̸ ̶f̷u̸c̶k̶i̵n̷g̷ ̴c̶a̸r̷ ̵b̷a̷t̸t̷e̸r̵y̷.̷"̸
"Are all mortals going to fit on a car battery?"
Venira raised her head to glare at her brother. Avareed sat with his back against a wall, filing away at his candle shaped nails as per usual. Looking bored, also as per usual.
"̸I̴t̷'̷s̷ ̷a̵ ̴f̶i̷g̸u̴r̸e̵ ̷o̵f̴ ̵s̸p̵e̴e̷c̵h̸,̵ ̷y̶o̶u̷ ̵d̵i̵c̷k̵s̵t̵a̴i̵n̸.̶"̷
Shouts of protest echoed from the back area of the cell, and Venira groaned expectantly as she trudged over to the rest of her siblings, who were doing what they always did--act like fucking imbeciles.
Lexuria was caught in an unfortunate game of primeape in the middle, while Inviderus and Hubrias tossed her own head back and forth.
"Give it back!" Lexuria whined, swinging her fist at Inviderus, who ducked away from the hit. "It's mine!"
"I've held onto it for the last eon, so what's another?" Inviderus taunted as he threw the bust to Hubrias, who caught it in one of her six hands, giggling maniacally.
"Too slow!" Hubrias squealed, holding the head just out of Lexuria's reach.
Meanwhile, Tristace sat sleeping with his large stupid head buried into his frozen wall. Gulattive was watching the scuffle between the latter three, looking more bored than Inviderus did.
"̴A̷r̴e̸ ̶y̵o̵u̵ ̶a̷l̸l̴ ̴q̵u̸i̴t̵e̴ ̴f̵i̵n̵i̸s̶h̷e̷d̵ ̵w̸i̴t̷h̵ ̴y̴o̵u̴r̵ ̷y̴e̶l̶l̴i̶n̶g̷?̶ ̴I̷f̸ ̵m̴y̸ ̵h̵e̶a̵d̷a̷c̴h̷e̸ ̸k̵e̵e̸p̵s̸ ̷u̶p̸,̵ ̷I̶'̵m̸ ̶g̸o̴i̸n̵g̴ ̷t̸o̸ ̷s̵m̸i̵t̴e̶ ̸a̵l̷l̷ ̴t̴h̴r̶e̴e̵ ̵o̶f̴ ̵y̴o̷u̵,"̶ Gulattive announced flatly.
"I'd like to see you try!" Hubrias shrieked, kicking a rock at him.
The feared Blood Legendaries, reduced to jailbirds with nothing more to do than sit around or torment each other.
It was pathetic.
"̶Y̶o̶u̵ ̸g̷u̴y̶s̸ ̴a̵r̸e̷ ̶f̷u̷c̷k̸i̸n̸g̸ ̴u̵s̴e̷l̷e̷s̷s̴,̶"̶ Venira said flatly.
"And you're a degenerate. Are we done here?" Inviderus snapped back as he caught Lexuria's head again. Lexuria tried to snatch it out of his hands, but Inviderus took to pushing her back by her chest, leaving her standing there squirming.
"̷I̸ ̷w̵a̴s̷ ̷i̴n̶s̷u̶l̶t̵i̴n̸g̶ ̵y̸o̵u̷ ̵a̸n̴d̵ ̶y̷o̷u̷ ̵c̴o̵m̸p̷l̶i̶m̶e̶n̶t̵e̸d̷ ̴m̸e̶?̴ ̷H̴o̴w̷ ̸s̷w̶e̷e̷t̷ ̴o̸n̸ ̶y̸o̵u̷,̶ ̴b̵i̵t̸c̵h̵ ̴b̴a̸b̷y̸.̶"̶
Still, this wasn't the goddamn time for banter. Venira was could only stand to be in such close proximity to her siblings before she started to break out in hives. Because apparently nobody was free from getting hives, what the fuck was that about?
Slamming her clawed hand down on the stone, she called the others to attention. They needed to get their proverbial shit together if they were going to get out of here.
"̷L̴i̷s̷t̵e̴n̸ ̶u̶p̴,̵ ̵f̶u̵c̴k̵e̶r̶s̷.̸ ̴I̴ ̷k̷n̷o̷w̷ ̸y̶o̸u̸ ̷a̶l̵l̸ ̷h̸a̸v̴e̴ ̴a̶ ̴f̸e̵t̷i̴s̷h̸ ̵f̸o̴r̴ ̵m̷e̶d̷i̸o̵c̷r̸i̸t̴y̶,̶ ̶b̷u̵t̵ ̶t̶h̴e̸r̷e̸'̵s̴ ̶n̷o̶ ̴g̷o̷d̵d̸a̷m̶n̷ ̵f̴u̶c̷k̷i̴n̶g̴ ̸I̷ ̶a̵m̴ ̸s̵i̴t̷t̴i̶n̷g̷ ̴i̴n̸ ̵t̸h̵i̵s̴ ̶s̴t̴a̴l̸l̷ ̶f̴o̵r̵ ̸a̵n̴o̶t̴h̴e̷r̶ ̸m̷i̶n̷u̴t̴e̷.̶ ̶I̸f̶ ̸I̷ ̴d̶o̶,̵ ̵I̷'̴m̵ ̵g̷o̸n̴n̵a̶ ̶e̸v̸i̵s̴c̵e̸r̶a̴t̸e̸ ̶a̸l̸l̴ ̵o̴f̵ ̴y̴o̷u̵.̷"̴
"That would be nice..." Tristace rumbled from his spot against the wall. Venira rolled her eyes at the sound, and continued.
"̷T̵h̸a̴t̴ ̸b̸e̷i̶n̶g̴ ̵s̵a̷i̵d̴,̷ ̴w̶e̷ ̸n̶e̸e̵d̵ ̷t̷o̸ ̶F̸I̶N̵D̴ ̵A̴ ̷F̴U̴C̶K̶I̵N̸G̸ ̶W̸A̸Y̴ ̶O̵U̶T̶ ̶O̶F̷ ̵H̵E̶R̸E̷.̵ ̷M̸a̶y̴b̸e̶ ̴i̷n̶s̴t̵e̷a̴d̸ ̷o̵f̶ ̸t̷h̸r̶o̴w̶i̸n̸g̵ ̵L̴e̵x̷u̶r̸i̷a̸'̵s̵ ̸h̴e̷a̸d̷ ̴a̴r̴o̷u̴n̵d̶,̴ ̴w̷e̸ ̵a̸c̸t̴u̴a̵l̸l̵y̸ ̴g̴e̴t̸ ̸o̵u̵r̵ ̸a̵s̴s̵e̴s̴ ̷i̴n̴ ̷g̴e̵a̶r̷ ̴a̶n̶d̸-̴-̸"̴
"Shut up! I hate the sound of you and your bullshit voice!" Hubrias screamed. "Cut your tongue out, please!"
For seemingly good measure, Hubrias reached one of her arms down and plucked another rock from the floor. She proceeded to lob it at Venira's head, prompting Venira to duck to avoid it. It was an effortless duck, because even if the rock had hit her, it wouldn't have done much.
"̷A̵l̶r̴i̸g̸h̸t̸,̴ ̴n̵e̷w̸ ̸p̴l̸a̴n̵.̸ ̸T̶h̶e̷ ̶n̶e̶x̷t̴ ̴t̴h̶i̶n̷g̶ ̷y̴o̵u̴ ̴t̷h̵r̶o̶w̶ ̵a̴t̵ ̶m̶e̷,̴ ̶I̸'̸m̸ ̴g̶o̶n̶n̶a̷ ̶p̸i̷c̷k̵ ̸i̴t̷ ̵u̶p̶ ̶a̴n̵d̷ ̷f̶o̸r̶c̷i̵b̶l̷y̴ ̷e̶m̸b̵e̷d̸ ̵i̴t̸ ̵i̷n̷t̸o̶ ̶y̸o̵u̷r̴ ̴f̵u̷c̷k̶i̸n̷g̸--"
CLING. CRASH.
The thorns along Venira's back bristled, and she whipped her head around to face the front of the cell. The door of it stood open, and the large padlock that had been confining them was sprawled out on the damp floor, in pieces after being struck by the rock.
Was...was it that fucking easy?
Venira's eyes blazed as she slowly turned back to face Hubrias. "̵I̵'̵v̸e̶ ̵b̴e̸e̶n̷ ̸h̴e̶a̴d̸b̷u̴t̷t̸i̷n̶g̷ ̷t̷h̶a̸t̶ ̶s̶t̷u̷p̸i̶d̶ ̶d̷o̶o̷r̵ ̶f̸o̵r̸ ̸t̵h̵e̴ ̸p̷a̵s̷t̴ ̷T̷W̵O̵ ̵H̶O̶U̵R̶S̵,̵ ̷a̵n̶d̶ ̵y̶o̸u̸ ̷c̶o̵u̶l̴d̵ ̶h̸a̸v̸e̵ ̷b̴r̴o̸k̷e̸n̸ ̵t̵h̶a̶t̷ ̸l̶o̴c̴k̸ ̵w̴i̸t̴h̶ ̷a̶ ̷r̷o̸c̶k̴ ̷t̵h̸i̷s̵ ̶E̸N̶T̶I̸R̸E̶ ̵F̸U̷C̷K̵I̶N̴G̶ ̵T̸I̶M̷E̵?̴"̷ she growled, causing the multi limbed god to shrug.
"Apparently!" she cackled. "Hope the concussion was worth it!"
Venira moved to pounce on that obnoxious little shit, but she stopped herself. The door. It was open. That meant they didn't have to stay there anymore.
They were free.
Her breath hitched in her throat, and she peered back at the iron bars.
"̵L̴e̸t̵'̶s̸ ̴p̷u̷t̴ ̴a̶ ̴p̷i̸n̵ ̴i̶n̶ ̶y̷o̶u̴r̶ ̵e̶v̴e̵n̷t̵u̷a̷l̸ ̵b̶e̵a̵t̶i̸n̶g̵,̵ ̴b̴e̴c̸a̸u̸s̷e̶ ̷I̶ ̸h̷a̷v̴e̸ ̸s̶o̷m̵e̴ ̸s̴h̴i̴t̸ ̴t̷o̷ ̷d̶o̷.̴"̵
~
It was clear that even that twink of a Champion wasn't ready for her. Or all of them, for that matter.
They barreled out of the prison like a group of fat kids running for a candy store and stood before that idiot and his milotic. Milotic normally held themselves well, but in the face of blood-types, it seemed to cower just a little.
"Y-you...you eldritch terrors aren't going anywhere!" Whatshisface yelled at them. Like his voice could somehow carry over seven ancient beings of absolute sin. Who did he think he was?
Venira deadpanned. "̷A̸ ̸l̸i̶t̵t̴l̶e̴ ̶l̶a̷t̵e̸ ̷f̶o̵r̵ ̶t̸h̴a̴t̶.̵ ̵W̸e̴'̶r̴e̵ ̴a̸l̶r̴e̶a̶d̶y̸ ̶o̵u̶t̵.̸"̸
"And thi-is is as far as you'll get!"
She had to admit, she liked his spunk. Wait, no. Spunk meant something gross in Galar. She liked his spirit. Yeah, that was better,
But, he probably had something else she'd like even more.
"̸R̶i̴g̵h̷t̵.̶ ̴Y̴o̵u̴ ̴a̷n̶d̴ ̸a̸n̷d̷ ̵a̴ ̷m̶i̵l̵o̵t̴i̵c̸ ̸a̸r̶e̴ ̵g̶o̶i̸n̴g̵ ̷t̵o̴ ̷m̵a̶k̴e̸ ̵a̸ ̴d̴e̵n̴t̵ ̷i̵n̷ ̷a̷ ̸g̴r̸o̴u̵p̵ ̷o̶f̵ ̵l̴e̸g̶e̶n̵d̸a̷r̴i̷e̴s̷.̶ ̷Y̷o̶u̴'̵d̵ ̶b̶e̶ ̶b̸e̶t̷t̶e̶r̸ ̷o̵f̴f̸ ̷j̵u̶s̷t̵ ̸s̴h̸u̸t̸t̸i̷n̸g̵ ̷y̸o̸u̶r̵ ̷m̴o̶u̶t̵h̸ ̸a̶n̴d̷-̷-̵"̶
A shout erupted from behind her, followed by the sound of powers exchanging, and large bodies hitting the ground.
Venira whipped around just in time to catch Lexuria football tackling Inviderus as Hubrias tried to split them up. Tristace stood over them, a sad expression cross his skull-like features, while Gulattive darted forward jumped into the scuffle himself, teeth bared as if he were ready to chomp on some dead bodies.
"̴I̴ ̴S̷A̸I̶D̴ ̷I̶ ̷W̵A̴S̴ ̵G̷O̷I̸N̸G̴ ̶T̵O̸ ̸S̷M̶I̷T̶E̶ ̵Y̷O̸U̷ ̸I̴F̷ ̶Y̴O̷U̸ ̸D̷I̴D̶N̵'̷T̷ ̴S̸T̷O̵P̵ ̷M̵A̶K̴I̶N̷G̶ ̴N̸O̶I̷S̶E̶,̸"̴ he bellowed.
So much for putting a pin in that beating. But now most of the group was involved.
Venira gaped at the scene. How the fuck were they supposed to be the seven deadly Blood Legendaries when they were attacking each other? Her gaze cut to Inviderus, who still lingered off to the side filing his nails.
"̷D̸u̵d̷e̶!̷"̷ ̶she gasped, gesturing wildly to him."̸G̸e̵t̷ ̸t̴h̵e̵ ̶f̴u̸c̷k̸i̵n̷g̶ ̵b̷r̷i̴c̶k̴s̷ ̴o̸u̶t̶ ̴o̶f̶ ̶y̵o̵u̴r̴ ̸d̷i̷c̴k̸ ̵a̷n̴d̴ ̵b̶r̴e̵a̵k̵ ̸t̸h̶e̴m̸ ̸u̶p̷!̸"̵
Inviderus held up a finger. "First of all, I don't have human genitalia. Second of all, I don't want to."
Wrath swelled in Venira's chest and shot down through every vein of her branch-like body. Gods, when she got her hands on what she needed...she was going to slaughter all of them. And when they reformed, she would slaughter them again. And again, probably.
Deciding to momentarily ignore the fight, Venira faced the Champ again and stomped toward him. He seemed to sink lower and lower into the sand as she neared. She only stopped when her snout lingered mere centimeters from the tip of his nose.
"̷Y̶o̷u̴r̵ ̵h̷e̸m̸o̸g̴l̵o̵b̷i̴n̷,̷"̸ ̸she rumbled, "̴h̴a̵n̶d̶ ̵i̷t̴ ̴o̷v̶e̶r̴.̸"̵
Part Four
"My... My what?"
Carlos' Sklushelk snorted furiously and tossed his head. His glass-studded antlers glinted a fiery amber under the coliseum floodlights. The message was clear. Get a grip, Champ!
Carlos frowned, and drew himself up properly. Sklushelk's posture and his matched once again – tall and proud. This was how a champion should comport themself, with dignity befitting the position. He straightened his forest-green coat, and looked to Sklushelk's equally green fur, reminding himself that he owed his ace pokémon his best self.
"You cannot have my blood, vampire," he retorted. "Aren't you here to battle? Or are you conceding?"
Venira's thorny branches writhed in fury. "̸I̶ ̸n̷e̶e̵d̴ ̵b̵l̷o̸o̷d̸ ̸t̴o̸ ̷f̸i̸g̴h̴t̷,̸ ̷m̸o̴t̶h̸e̴r̴f̴u̷c̵k̴e̶r̵,̸"̸ ̴ she growled.
Carlos met the demon-dragon's baleful glare with his own hardening stare. "Get it from your trainer, then," he snapped.
Venira bristled with outrage, but the coliseum's barrier field was an impenetrable one, at least at this moment. She glanced back at her trainer, pale and gasping. Then around her, at the coliseum's regal columns and stands full of people cheering near-indiscriminately – but loudest for their reigning champ.
Sklushelk brayed low and deep, challenging the legend to continue their fight. The referee-drone buzzed overhead, calling out a warning to complete the battle within regulation time limits. Sound and light and pressure...
"̵F̸i̴n̸e̵, bu̶t̷ ̸y̷o̴u̷'̶d̸ ̴b̷e̴t̸t̷e̴r̴ ̷s̸l̵e̷e̶p̷ ̴w̴i̷t̸h̴ ̶o̸n̵e̶ ̵e̴y̴e̴ ̶o̵p̷e̸n̷ ̸a̴f̵t̴e̴r̵ ̴t̷h̸i̶s̶,̴ ̶a̷s̴s̶h̵o̴l̴e̷.,"̸ snapped Venira, returning to her side of the field with a harsh thrashing of her countless extremities.
The ageing champion exhaled, extended a gloved fist in a bold gesture, and called out to his pokémon, "Now, Sklushelk! Crown Fire, let's go!"
The behemothic deer bellowed in reply, his vitreous antlers erupting in a corona of flame as he charged forwards.
Part Five
And so Dash Ketchup turned and fled the killer fire, Pikachu and his son Raichu jumping on his back. They dove, but ended up falling off the cliff, and falling and falling further away. They fell a lot: it was a long distance. It was the deepest chasm in the region, and they took forever to fall to the bottom beneath them.
Dash woke up. “Oh no! I lost the championship match!” he exclaimed.
“Pika!” Pikachu exclaimed.
“It looks like we fell into a deep chasm,” Raichu exclaimed with his deep, masculine voice.
Dash groans. Then his stomach growled. “Ah gee I’m hungry too. I’ll never become champion like this!” Dash exclaimed. Laffracks hiding on the ceiling laughed.
“Pika!” Pikachu exclaimed.
But it got worst. Jesse and John of Team Pocket came into view. “Prepare for inconvenience,” “and make it double,” they exclaimed one after the other.
The Laffracks ooooo’d in suspense.
“We fell down the chasm beside the champion’s platform and we’ve been looking for the entrance for days,” Neowth, the regional evolution of Meowth, exclaimed. He lit up his tron lines inscribed in his fur, illuminating the cave with pretty and colourful rave lights. He lifted a paw up and bobbed his head and a deep, bassy tone emanant from him. “Yeah baby that’s right, Team Pocket’s here to complicate the narrative,” he exclaimed with a sexy voice.
The light finally exposed the Laffracks hiding on the ceiling. They were a bunch of bat-like Pokemon with huge heads and faces that resembled Emoji. The crying-emoji Laffrack was particularly frustrating to look at. They began clapping to the beat of Neowth’s trap remix.
“I think we should work together to find the surface,” exclaimed Raichu.
“I like that idea,” John said.
The Laffracks laughed.
“Pikachu,” Pikachu exclaimed.
Raichu, Pikachu, and Team Pocket left to explore the cave move, leaving Dash behind because he sucked. The Laffracks stayed behind to point and laugh as his stomach growled again, one passing out from the humour and falling onto the ground.
The tunnel was long and complicated, and their bodies constantly moving to the beat of Neowth’s sick track wore them out.
“I miss my mother,” Raichu exclaimed.
“Me too. I was never able to feel love the same way after she passed away. You must cherish the relationships you have in life, because you’ll never know when they end.” Pikachu exclaimed.
But finally they heard something like a heartbeat reverberate through the tunnels. The group ran forward. They could hear exclaiming up ahead. They burst through a cave opening just to find an amazing scene.
Houses are built into the sides of the chasm, with dangerous and thin scaffolding bridging the various structures. Bright lights blinked on and off as Humans, Neowths, and other rock-type Pokemon grooved together in harmony - Team Pocket and the two Chu’s stumbled across Rave Cave!
Part Six
James: Really Liz
Liz (DM): What?
James: Neowths?
Liz (DM): They’re Cute!
James: You just recolored the official meowth art.
Liz (DM): Shut up I ran out of commission money :(
Mel: Don’t be rude James!!!
Mel: I for one think it’s cute!!!
Liz (DM): Thank you.
Carlos: yeah james don’t be fucking rude
Carlos: sides, you’re the one that decided to make our team name “team pocket” as a team rocket joke.
James: You went along with it!
Liz (DM): Look would it make it any better if I called them.
Liz (DM): Uh
Liz (DM): Rockamuffins?
Mel: Liiizzzz! Don’t give in to him!!!
Mel: He’s just being grouchy because he got his last character killed.
James: Blasphemy.
Carlos: idk man I think she’s got a point
James: Ugh. Can we just move on?
James: I mean everything else about this scenario is cool and all.
Liz (DM): You brought this on yourself.
Liz (DM): But Fine.
Liz (DM): As you all enter the rave cave, the music comes to a sudden halt. The flashing lights all turn to shine down on your party. All eyes turn to look at you. Your pikachu companions nervously hide behind you. What do you do?
James: Rune takes a look around to see if he recognizes any new pokemon not registered in the pokedex.
Liz (DM): Right.
Liz (DM): Besides the Neowths, you see a handful of common pokemon like geodude and rockruff. But a warm glow in the back reveals a handful of reptilians with spikes of glowing red rock growing from their back. A check of your pokedex reveals the name lizigneous, and reveals that it is the child form of a three-stage pokemon.
James: Oh hell yes.
James: Rune throws a pokeball at the nearest lizigneous
Mel: James wait!
Carlos: Nono let it blow up in his face this should be good
Liz (DM): Roll catch rate.
Dicebot (Bot): Rolled 12 + 0
Liz (DM): That is… insufficient.
James: Shit.
Liz (DM): And worse, as it busts out, it looks angry. As do all the other pokemon around it. They’re starting to approach.
Liz (DM): Menacingly.
Carlos: Cal reaches for a pokeball and shoots Rune an annoyed look. “Nice going.”
James: “Sorry, sorry. Jeeze!”
Mel: Lilac rolls her eyes and pushes in front of the boys, brandishing her own pokeball.
Liz (DM): And just in the nick of time. The lead lizigneous leads the charge, its rocky spines glowing almost white. It looks like Team Pocket won’t be escaping the Rave Cave without a fight!
Part Seven
“Ah!” Don Crostini cried. “Mama-Mia! You truly have us outnumbered! Team Pocket, I order all of you to get DOWN!
“… on the DANCE FLOOR!”
With an evil cackle, Don Crostini’s faithful feline sidekick, Ronk the manx, pushed aside a rock—no, it was a metal covering, painted to look like a rock! And beneath it was a lever!
“Pull the lever, Ronk!”
“Mreow!”
With a deep, gravelly growl, Ronk pulled the lever with a sand-covered paw. A disco ball dropped from the ceiling, along with hundreds of neon-covered strobe lights. Speakers lined the walls, all blasting rave music.
The lead lizigneous’s charge slowed to a stop, his body bouncing back-and-forth to the beat of the music. Within moments, all of his fellow lizigneous lost themselves to dance.
“Team Pocket, move out!”
“Oh no!” Lorenzo cried as he clutched his hair in frustration. He watched as Don Crostini and his team ascended the rocky staircase behind them. “I can’t let Team Pocket get away now! If I do, he’ll kidnap the president of the Pokemon Fan Club!”
Lorenzo ran to the lever and yanked it back to its previous position—but the strobe lights and blasting music didn’t stop!
“Agh! What to do—Oh, I know! Fettuccini, get out here and destroy the lights and music!”
Lorenzo released his megalocervidae from his pokeball. A large deer with clawed feet, three sets of antlers, and two whip-like tails stood before him. Fettuccini blinked his four eyes and shook his head. A sparkling ball of energy appeared between each set of antlers. Tossing his head back, Fettuccini released the three energy balls at once.
They crashed into the lights, putting an end to them. Repeating the move, Fettuccini destroyed the speakers. The Rave Cave was once again silent, and the lizigneous were free from their dancing spell.
“Now, let’s go after Team Pocket!”
Lorenzo dashed up the stairs with Fettuccini and the lizigneous army following him. They charged into the sunlight of the Pasta Plateau—in the distance were the iconic white outfits of the Team Pocket uniform.
“Fettuccini, get me there, presto!”
Grabbing one of the antlers, Lorenzo swung onto Fettuccini’s back. With a triumphant blare, Fettuccini put on a burst of speed—the lizigneous followed his suit, and the army sprinted forward, easily catching up with Team Pocket.
“AH!” a grunt screamed as a lizigneous hopped on her back. “Get it off, get it off, get it off!”
But her comrades were in no shape to help her: the rest of the lizigneous leaped on the backs of the grunts, sending them running around in a panic.
“Let’s go, Fettuccini! We can’t stop until we’ve got Don Crostini!”
Fettuccini trumpeted and dashed forward—Don Crostini was climbing the crags of a rock spire, atop which was the Pokemon Fan Club President’s house!
Fettuccini leapt up, gripping the crags with his elongate claws. He easily scaled the mountainside, passing Don Crostini. Once they reached a small platform, Lorenzo dismounted just in time for his opponent to climb up and meet him.
“Stop right there, Don Crostini! Your evil ways end here! I’ve got you cornered, and your grunts are defeated! Now, lay down your pokeballs and weapons, and dismantle Team Pocket!”
Don Crostini glared petulantly at Lorenzo for a second—then he closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped.
“You know what, Lorenzo, you are right.”
Lorenzo could hear barely suppressed laughter. Don Crostini continued, holding his hands at shoulder height.
“You have defeated me—pfft,” he snorted as he struggled to hold in a giggle. “I—pfft—I’m sorry, heh—I—I mean—pfft—I surrender!”
Lorenzo studied Don Crostini—the man’s shoulders quivered, his lips pursed. Maybe, just maybe, he was being honest?
“Really?”
“NO!”
Don Crostini blew a raspberry—and without further warning, a skyclops descended on Fettuccini. The megacervidae roared as the one-eyed avian tore at him with all of its seven claws.
“Fettuccini, no! Hey—wait, Don Crostini! I’m not done with you!”
Lorenzo bolted up the mountainside after the evil man, who cackled maliciously as he reached the plateau with the small house.
“At last! Mr. Pokemon Fan Club, you are mine!”
Lorenzo was still struggling onto the platform when he saw a well-dressed elderly man step out of the house and face Don Crostini.
“Ah? And who might you be?”
“ME?! I am Don Crostini, the leader of Team Pocket, and YOU are now my captive! Now, come down this mountainside with me, and be my prisoner! With someone of such fame and influence in my grasp, ALL of Bologna will answer to me! Wahahaha!”
Mr. Pokemon Fan Club sagely closed his eyes and nodded his head. “I see. Well, unfortunately for you, Mr. Crusty—
“DON CROSTINI!”
“—I am not from Balogna. I am from Kanto. And I will be doing things my way.”
Without a word, a magnificent Pokemon appeared in the doorway: she had a mane and tail of fire, and a long, glistening horn protruded from her forehead.
“Ah? What do you mean? That mutant equus will not—YAH!”
While Don Crostini spoke, Rapidash leapt forward, spun on her front legs, and delivered a swift kick to Don Crostini’s chest. The man flew off the edge of the platform, shouting all the way down.
“YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF MEEEEEEE!”
Lorenzo scaled the top of the platform; Fettuccini appeared at his side as Don Crostini’s skyclops flew to his aide.
“Are you all right, Mr. Pokemon Fan Club?”
“You may call me Mr. Fujimura. But yes, I am quite all right. And who might you be?”
“Oh—I’m Lorenzo, and this is Fettuccini. We were trying to stop Team Pocket from kidnapping you!”
Mr. Fujimura dipped his head. “That is very kind, but all is well. I had never even heard of Team Pocket before.”
“They’re trying to capture powerful people and exotic Pokemon! Is this one from your home region?”
Lorenzo looked at the Rapidash—she was beautiful, he supposed, but she looked so strange next to a megacervidae like Fettuccini.
“She is indeed,” he said with a smile. “Now! Lorenzo, if you are from here, there is a place I would like to see. Perhaps you could show me the Rave Cave?”
Next thing Lorenzo knew, he, his Pokemon, Mr. Fujimura, and his Rapidash were all in the Rave Cave, surrendering to the funky fresh tunes of Daft Punk.
BestLizard
JoshTheWriter
Negrek
Sinderella
Starlight Aurate
unrepentantAuthor
Windskull
JoshTheWriter
Negrek
Sinderella
Starlight Aurate
unrepentantAuthor
Windskull
I had a lot of fun writing for this one, and I hope you enjoy reading it, too! Thanks to Bench for hosting and all the authors for putting together another fun frankenfic.
Thousand Roads' Exquisite Corpse 2022
Fanregion Supreme II
Fanregion Supreme II
Part One
The sun began to rise off the Morning Sea, painting the seaside shack in glittering gold sunlight. The door opened and a lone man emerged into the golden dawn. He breathed in the salty morning’s breeze and regarded the ocean with a calm reverence begat from years of worship.
Without a word, he released a glowing silver serpent with majestic wings that sprouted from its scales. The Champion reached up and patted his dragon on its feathered neck, admiring the golden plumage that melted into shining silver scales. He mounted the dragon pokemon and urged it into the sky with a kick of his heels, ready to begin their daily ritual.
They surged into the air as the sun crept skyward. Every wingbeat drew in the sun’s fire, bringing a golden glow to every one of his pokemon’s wingbeats. They surged along the edge of morning, bringing the sun’s gaze to the vast expanses of the coastal plains and rolling hills that eagerly drank in the light.
The swooped low over the largest river that flowed towards the sea, following it into the valley as snow-capped mountains rose from rolling foothills. The valley cut deep and curled back on itself, blocking the sun’s light out as they made their way towards the capital. The sun-dragon shone brightly as a replacement, painting the sleepy villages and towns they soared over with her own morning sun.
The sun-serpent curled around the final bend and soared high above a lake as the sun laboured just over the peaks. The sun-dragon’s wings drank in the sunlight greedily and shone as they radiated brilliant rays of gold over the mountain lake.
A small chorus of cheers reached him from across the lake. The Champion grinned as he directed his rainbow-feathered serpent down towards the pristine white city that refused to sleep. The Radion Region’s morning ritual was now complete and he was ready to truly begin his day.
JosthTheWriter
Part Two
Down along the city’s white-cobbled streets stalls were opening and people were spilling from their homes, off on their morning business now that the ritual had been observed. The Champion met up with Tlentoec where the great serpent had settled, coiled lazily around the statue of the founder and his felodon that dominated the square. Already Tlentoec was holding audience with all manner of Pokémon, many of them birds who had alighted around him as soon as he’d landed.
The Champion smiled at the serious expression on the dragon’s red-scaled face as Tlentoec listened to the chatters of a large gaggle of sparrow. Behind the drab birds a couple of queztlac waited impatiently, perched atop the founder’s stone head so their flowing green tailfeathers wouldn’t trail on the ground. Tlentoec took his work seriously, no matter how undistinguished his solicitors.
As Tlentoec worked with the Pokémon, so was it the Champion’s duty to hear the humans’ concerns. It was traditional, of course, to take audience in Tlentoec’s temple, but the Champion preferred the open air when he could get it. He seated himself on the steps that led up to the founder’s statue, not far from one of Tlentoec’s rear legs, and had only a few moments to appreciate the sunshine and the red and golden lanterns that had been strung up for the Firestone Festival before the crowd descended.
Most of the stories the Champion had heard before: complaints of Pokémon damaging crops or raiding merchant stores; people looking for information about where to find Pokémon who could interpret dreams, find gold, or heal a particular illness; trainers wanting advice for working with their Pokémon or help in guiding them through a change. The most concerning matter was a report that the mad old ghariot had been spotted by the river delta again, evidently suffering the same delusions and turning the river’s fish strange and unpalatable.
The sun climbed higher, and the Champion could gauge time nearly as well by Tlentoec’s restless shifting, the stretching and resettling of the dragon’s claws just behind his head. There was no end to the solicitors, of course, and there would be just as many again tomorrow, all clamoring for their chance at an audience with the Champion in his rainbow-feathered cloak and the legendary serpent Tlentoec, similarly attired.
“All right, that’s enough for today,” the Champion announced. Behind him Tlentoec was saying something similar to the Pokémon, sending up a loud flock of brilliant, sparking thundaws. A disgruntled tarsix sped down the steps, narrowly missing the Champion’s feet. “You may bring your questions to the square tomorrow. We’ll be here again, as sure as the sun will rise.” The Champion had to raise his voice a bit to be heard over the scraping of Tlentoec’s multicolored scales as the dragon unwound from his perch.
Their next destination would be the temple, of course, though as the Champion started down the street his mind wandered towards a certain street vendor who sold ground corn shaped to form a lycanroc’s head, covered in a blood-red sauce made from sweet and sour berries. It wasn’t tremendously far out of his way…
Lost in thought, the Champion didn’t notice the girl until she called out to him. A trainer, clearly, in the dusty green all-overs meant for the deep jungle. “I will hold an audience tomorrow,” the Champion said. “You may have my ear then.”
“It’s urgent!” the girl protested. “I’ve been flying all night!” And before the Champion could brush her aside again she blurted out, “News from the mountains! There’s smoke rising from the Skygrinder’s maw. Smoke and lightning in its billowing, flashing day and night!”
The Champion’s discomfort must have been visible even from the air, because a second later Tlentoec was there, his great head shoved between the Champion and the row of apartments along the side of the street. He nearly sent the Champion staggering into the girl; only a grab for the thick ruff of feathers around the dragon’s neck saved him.
“Who told you this?” he demanded. “What proof do you have?”
“I saw it myself,” the girl said, defiant despite the ragged state of her clothing and Tlentoec’s hostile glare. “That’s all the proof I need.”
Skygrinder smoking—worse, sparking, releasing its unclean spirits into the world? When there had been nothing and no warning, no transgression to warrant such a punishment? The Champion didn’t want to believe it. But then again, whoever did, when confronted by such calamity?
The creatures trapped under Skygrinder’s rocky slopes were little more than tales, but tales well-remembered for their dire warnings. What sorts of twisted monsters would spill from their prison there, with nothing but one Champion and his rainbow-scaled serpent to stand between them and the sleepless city’s white-clad walls?
Negrek
Part Three
Well, there were some that they absolutely needed to be worried about. The beasts that could bring a king to his knees, and a make a saint question their faith.
All seven of those wretched legendaries.
"̶H̴E̸Y̶,̸ ̷H̴O̵E̷B̶A̸G̶S̵.̴ ̸I̷ ̸P̸L̶E̵A̴D̸ ̷T̴H̶E̵ ̶F̵U̴C̵K̶I̴N̴G̵ ̵F̶I̴F̴T̸H̴.̵"̷
The Pokemon of Wrath held her head to the iron bars of her prison, hoping to wedge some of them open just wide enough to slip out. When no such thing happened, she reeled back and charged for it, sending her full body weight into the metal. That should have been enough, but the sheer pain that traveled through her head and down her entire bramble body as she doubled over said otherwise.
"̷M̸a̶a̶a̸a̷a̸a̷a̸a̷a̵a̶a̷a̵n̵,̸"̸ Venira groaned from her new spot on the jail floor. "̵W̶h̸e̷n̴ ̴I̷ ̸g̶e̸t̴ ̵o̷u̵t̷ ̷o̵f̸ ̷h̴e̸r̶e̵,̶ ̷I̵'̴m̵ ̵g̵o̷n̶n̴a̵ ̵s̶t̸r̶a̸p̴ ̶a̶l̷l̷ ̵y̸o̷u̵ ̸m̴o̶r̸t̷a̸l̷s̸ ̵t̵o̷e̸s̶ ̸f̵i̷r̴s̸t̷ ̴t̷o̷ ̸a̸ ̶f̷u̸c̶k̶i̵n̷g̷ ̴c̶a̸r̷ ̵b̷a̷t̸t̷e̸r̵y̷.̷"̸
"Are all mortals going to fit on a car battery?"
Venira raised her head to glare at her brother. Avareed sat with his back against a wall, filing away at his candle shaped nails as per usual. Looking bored, also as per usual.
"̸I̴t̷'̷s̷ ̷a̵ ̴f̶i̷g̸u̴r̸e̵ ̷o̵f̴ ̵s̸p̵e̴e̷c̵h̸,̵ ̷y̶o̶u̷ ̵d̵i̵c̷k̵s̵t̵a̴i̵n̸.̶"̷
Shouts of protest echoed from the back area of the cell, and Venira groaned expectantly as she trudged over to the rest of her siblings, who were doing what they always did--act like fucking imbeciles.
Lexuria was caught in an unfortunate game of primeape in the middle, while Inviderus and Hubrias tossed her own head back and forth.
"Give it back!" Lexuria whined, swinging her fist at Inviderus, who ducked away from the hit. "It's mine!"
"I've held onto it for the last eon, so what's another?" Inviderus taunted as he threw the bust to Hubrias, who caught it in one of her six hands, giggling maniacally.
"Too slow!" Hubrias squealed, holding the head just out of Lexuria's reach.
Meanwhile, Tristace sat sleeping with his large stupid head buried into his frozen wall. Gulattive was watching the scuffle between the latter three, looking more bored than Inviderus did.
"̴A̷r̴e̸ ̶y̵o̵u̵ ̶a̷l̸l̴ ̴q̵u̸i̴t̵e̴ ̴f̵i̵n̵i̸s̶h̷e̷d̵ ̵w̸i̴t̷h̵ ̴y̴o̵u̴r̵ ̷y̴e̶l̶l̴i̶n̶g̷?̶ ̴I̷f̸ ̵m̴y̸ ̵h̵e̶a̵d̷a̷c̴h̷e̸ ̸k̵e̵e̸p̵s̸ ̷u̶p̸,̵ ̷I̶'̵m̸ ̶g̸o̴i̸n̵g̴ ̷t̸o̸ ̷s̵m̸i̵t̴e̶ ̸a̵l̷l̷ ̴t̴h̴r̶e̴e̵ ̵o̶f̴ ̵y̴o̷u̵,"̶ Gulattive announced flatly.
"I'd like to see you try!" Hubrias shrieked, kicking a rock at him.
The feared Blood Legendaries, reduced to jailbirds with nothing more to do than sit around or torment each other.
It was pathetic.
"̶Y̶o̶u̵ ̸g̷u̴y̶s̸ ̴a̵r̸e̷ ̶f̷u̷c̷k̸i̸n̸g̸ ̴u̵s̴e̷l̷e̷s̷s̴,̶"̶ Venira said flatly.
"And you're a degenerate. Are we done here?" Inviderus snapped back as he caught Lexuria's head again. Lexuria tried to snatch it out of his hands, but Inviderus took to pushing her back by her chest, leaving her standing there squirming.
"̷I̸ ̷w̵a̴s̷ ̷i̴n̶s̷u̶l̶t̵i̴n̸g̶ ̵y̸o̵u̷ ̵a̸n̴d̵ ̶y̷o̷u̷ ̵c̴o̵m̸p̷l̶i̶m̶e̶n̶t̵e̸d̷ ̴m̸e̶?̴ ̷H̴o̴w̷ ̸s̷w̶e̷e̷t̷ ̴o̸n̸ ̶y̸o̵u̷,̶ ̴b̵i̵t̸c̵h̵ ̴b̴a̸b̷y̸.̶"̶
Still, this wasn't the goddamn time for banter. Venira was could only stand to be in such close proximity to her siblings before she started to break out in hives. Because apparently nobody was free from getting hives, what the fuck was that about?
Slamming her clawed hand down on the stone, she called the others to attention. They needed to get their proverbial shit together if they were going to get out of here.
"̷L̴i̷s̷t̵e̴n̸ ̶u̶p̴,̵ ̵f̶u̵c̴k̵e̶r̶s̷.̸ ̴I̴ ̷k̷n̷o̷w̷ ̸y̶o̸u̸ ̷a̶l̵l̸ ̷h̸a̸v̴e̴ ̴a̶ ̴f̸e̵t̷i̴s̷h̸ ̵f̸o̴r̴ ̵m̷e̶d̷i̸o̵c̷r̸i̸t̴y̶,̶ ̶b̷u̵t̵ ̶t̶h̴e̸r̷e̸'̵s̴ ̶n̷o̶ ̴g̷o̷d̵d̸a̷m̶n̷ ̵f̴u̶c̷k̷i̴n̶g̴ ̸I̷ ̶a̵m̴ ̸s̵i̴t̷t̴i̶n̷g̷ ̴i̴n̸ ̵t̸h̵i̵s̴ ̶s̴t̴a̴l̸l̷ ̶f̴o̵r̵ ̸a̵n̴o̶t̴h̴e̷r̶ ̸m̷i̶n̷u̴t̴e̷.̶ ̶I̸f̶ ̸I̷ ̴d̶o̶,̵ ̵I̷'̴m̵ ̵g̷o̸n̴n̵a̶ ̶e̸v̸i̵s̴c̵e̸r̶a̴t̸e̸ ̶a̸l̸l̴ ̵o̴f̵ ̴y̴o̷u̵.̷"̴
"That would be nice..." Tristace rumbled from his spot against the wall. Venira rolled her eyes at the sound, and continued.
"̷T̵h̸a̴t̴ ̸b̸e̷i̶n̶g̴ ̵s̵a̷i̵d̴,̷ ̴w̶e̷ ̸n̶e̸e̵d̵ ̷t̷o̸ ̶F̸I̶N̵D̴ ̵A̴ ̷F̴U̴C̶K̶I̵N̸G̸ ̶W̸A̸Y̴ ̶O̵U̶T̶ ̶O̶F̷ ̵H̵E̶R̸E̷.̵ ̷M̸a̶y̴b̸e̶ ̴i̷n̶s̴t̵e̷a̴d̸ ̷o̵f̶ ̸t̷h̸r̶o̴w̶i̸n̸g̵ ̵L̴e̵x̷u̶r̸i̷a̸'̵s̵ ̸h̴e̷a̸d̷ ̴a̴r̴o̷u̴n̵d̶,̴ ̴w̷e̸ ̵a̸c̸t̴u̴a̵l̸l̵y̸ ̴g̴e̴t̸ ̸o̵u̵r̵ ̸a̵s̴s̵e̴s̴ ̷i̴n̴ ̷g̴e̵a̶r̷ ̴a̶n̶d̸-̴-̸"̴
"Shut up! I hate the sound of you and your bullshit voice!" Hubrias screamed. "Cut your tongue out, please!"
For seemingly good measure, Hubrias reached one of her arms down and plucked another rock from the floor. She proceeded to lob it at Venira's head, prompting Venira to duck to avoid it. It was an effortless duck, because even if the rock had hit her, it wouldn't have done much.
"̷A̵l̶r̴i̸g̸h̸t̸,̴ ̴n̵e̷w̸ ̸p̴l̸a̴n̵.̸ ̸T̶h̶e̷ ̶n̶e̶x̷t̴ ̴t̴h̶i̶n̷g̶ ̷y̴o̵u̴ ̴t̷h̵r̶o̶w̶ ̵a̴t̵ ̶m̶e̷,̴ ̶I̸'̸m̸ ̴g̶o̶n̶n̶a̷ ̶p̸i̷c̷k̵ ̸i̴t̷ ̵u̶p̶ ̶a̴n̵d̷ ̷f̶o̸r̶c̷i̵b̶l̷y̴ ̷e̶m̸b̵e̷d̸ ̵i̴t̸ ̵i̷n̷t̸o̶ ̶y̸o̵u̷r̴ ̴f̵u̷c̷k̶i̸n̷g̸--"
CLING. CRASH.
The thorns along Venira's back bristled, and she whipped her head around to face the front of the cell. The door of it stood open, and the large padlock that had been confining them was sprawled out on the damp floor, in pieces after being struck by the rock.
Was...was it that fucking easy?
Venira's eyes blazed as she slowly turned back to face Hubrias. "̵I̵'̵v̸e̶ ̵b̴e̸e̶n̷ ̸h̴e̶a̴d̸b̷u̴t̷t̸i̷n̶g̷ ̷t̷h̶a̸t̶ ̶s̶t̷u̷p̸i̶d̶ ̶d̷o̶o̷r̵ ̶f̸o̵r̸ ̸t̵h̵e̴ ̸p̷a̵s̷t̴ ̷T̷W̵O̵ ̵H̶O̶U̵R̶S̵,̵ ̷a̵n̶d̶ ̵y̶o̸u̸ ̷c̶o̵u̶l̴d̵ ̶h̸a̸v̸e̵ ̷b̴r̴o̸k̷e̸n̸ ̵t̵h̶a̶t̷ ̸l̶o̴c̴k̸ ̵w̴i̸t̴h̶ ̷a̶ ̷r̷o̸c̶k̴ ̷t̵h̸i̷s̵ ̶E̸N̶T̶I̸R̸E̶ ̵F̸U̷C̷K̵I̶N̴G̶ ̵T̸I̶M̷E̵?̴"̷ she growled, causing the multi limbed god to shrug.
"Apparently!" she cackled. "Hope the concussion was worth it!"
Venira moved to pounce on that obnoxious little shit, but she stopped herself. The door. It was open. That meant they didn't have to stay there anymore.
They were free.
Her breath hitched in her throat, and she peered back at the iron bars.
"̵L̴e̸t̵'̶s̸ ̴p̷u̷t̴ ̴a̶ ̴p̷i̸n̵ ̴i̶n̶ ̶y̷o̶u̴r̶ ̵e̶v̴e̵n̷t̵u̷a̷l̸ ̵b̶e̵a̵t̶i̸n̶g̵,̵ ̴b̴e̴c̸a̸u̸s̷e̶ ̷I̶ ̸h̷a̷v̴e̸ ̸s̶o̷m̵e̴ ̸s̴h̴i̴t̸ ̴t̷o̷ ̷d̶o̷.̴"̵
~
It was clear that even that twink of a Champion wasn't ready for her. Or all of them, for that matter.
They barreled out of the prison like a group of fat kids running for a candy store and stood before that idiot and his milotic. Milotic normally held themselves well, but in the face of blood-types, it seemed to cower just a little.
"Y-you...you eldritch terrors aren't going anywhere!" Whatshisface yelled at them. Like his voice could somehow carry over seven ancient beings of absolute sin. Who did he think he was?
Venira deadpanned. "̷A̸ ̸l̸i̶t̵t̴l̶e̴ ̶l̶a̷t̵e̸ ̷f̶o̵r̵ ̶t̸h̴a̴t̶.̵ ̵W̸e̴'̶r̴e̵ ̴a̸l̶r̴e̶a̶d̶y̸ ̶o̵u̶t̵.̸"̸
"And thi-is is as far as you'll get!"
She had to admit, she liked his spunk. Wait, no. Spunk meant something gross in Galar. She liked his spirit. Yeah, that was better,
But, he probably had something else she'd like even more.
"̸R̶i̴g̵h̷t̵.̶ ̴Y̴o̵u̴ ̴a̷n̶d̴ ̸a̸n̷d̷ ̵a̴ ̷m̶i̵l̵o̵t̴i̵c̸ ̸a̸r̶e̴ ̵g̶o̶i̸n̴g̵ ̷t̵o̴ ̷m̵a̶k̴e̸ ̵a̸ ̴d̴e̵n̴t̵ ̷i̵n̷ ̷a̷ ̸g̴r̸o̴u̵p̵ ̷o̶f̵ ̵l̴e̸g̶e̶n̵d̸a̷r̴i̷e̴s̷.̶ ̷Y̷o̶u̴'̵d̵ ̶b̶e̶ ̶b̸e̶t̷t̶e̶r̸ ̷o̵f̴f̸ ̷j̵u̶s̷t̵ ̸s̴h̸u̸t̸t̸i̷n̸g̵ ̷y̸o̸u̶r̵ ̷m̴o̶u̶t̵h̸ ̸a̶n̴d̷-̷-̵"̶
A shout erupted from behind her, followed by the sound of powers exchanging, and large bodies hitting the ground.
Venira whipped around just in time to catch Lexuria football tackling Inviderus as Hubrias tried to split them up. Tristace stood over them, a sad expression cross his skull-like features, while Gulattive darted forward jumped into the scuffle himself, teeth bared as if he were ready to chomp on some dead bodies.
"̴I̴ ̴S̷A̸I̶D̴ ̷I̶ ̷W̵A̴S̴ ̵G̷O̷I̸N̸G̴ ̶T̵O̸ ̸S̷M̶I̷T̶E̶ ̵Y̷O̸U̷ ̸I̴F̷ ̶Y̴O̷U̸ ̸D̷I̴D̶N̵'̷T̷ ̴S̸T̷O̵P̵ ̷M̵A̶K̴I̶N̷G̶ ̴N̸O̶I̷S̶E̶,̸"̴ he bellowed.
So much for putting a pin in that beating. But now most of the group was involved.
Venira gaped at the scene. How the fuck were they supposed to be the seven deadly Blood Legendaries when they were attacking each other? Her gaze cut to Inviderus, who still lingered off to the side filing his nails.
"̷D̸u̵d̷e̶!̷"̷ ̶she gasped, gesturing wildly to him."̸G̸e̵t̷ ̸t̴h̵e̵ ̶f̴u̸c̷k̸i̵n̷g̶ ̵b̷r̷i̴c̶k̴s̷ ̴o̸u̶t̶ ̴o̶f̶ ̶y̵o̵u̴r̴ ̸d̷i̷c̴k̸ ̵a̷n̴d̴ ̵b̶r̴e̵a̵k̵ ̸t̸h̶e̴m̸ ̸u̶p̷!̸"̵
Inviderus held up a finger. "First of all, I don't have human genitalia. Second of all, I don't want to."
Wrath swelled in Venira's chest and shot down through every vein of her branch-like body. Gods, when she got her hands on what she needed...she was going to slaughter all of them. And when they reformed, she would slaughter them again. And again, probably.
Deciding to momentarily ignore the fight, Venira faced the Champ again and stomped toward him. He seemed to sink lower and lower into the sand as she neared. She only stopped when her snout lingered mere centimeters from the tip of his nose.
"̷Y̶o̷u̴r̵ ̵h̷e̸m̸o̸g̴l̵o̵b̷i̴n̷,̷"̸ ̸she rumbled, "̴h̴a̵n̶d̶ ̵i̷t̴ ̴o̷v̶e̶r̴.̸"̵
Sinderella
Part Four
"My... My what?"
Carlos' Sklushelk snorted furiously and tossed his head. His glass-studded antlers glinted a fiery amber under the coliseum floodlights. The message was clear. Get a grip, Champ!
Carlos frowned, and drew himself up properly. Sklushelk's posture and his matched once again – tall and proud. This was how a champion should comport themself, with dignity befitting the position. He straightened his forest-green coat, and looked to Sklushelk's equally green fur, reminding himself that he owed his ace pokémon his best self.
"You cannot have my blood, vampire," he retorted. "Aren't you here to battle? Or are you conceding?"
Venira's thorny branches writhed in fury. "̸I̶ ̸n̷e̶e̵d̴ ̵b̵l̷o̸o̷d̸ ̸t̴o̸ ̷f̸i̸g̴h̴t̷,̸ ̷m̸o̴t̶h̸e̴r̴f̴u̷c̵k̴e̶r̵,̸"̸ ̴ she growled.
Carlos met the demon-dragon's baleful glare with his own hardening stare. "Get it from your trainer, then," he snapped.
Venira bristled with outrage, but the coliseum's barrier field was an impenetrable one, at least at this moment. She glanced back at her trainer, pale and gasping. Then around her, at the coliseum's regal columns and stands full of people cheering near-indiscriminately – but loudest for their reigning champ.
Sklushelk brayed low and deep, challenging the legend to continue their fight. The referee-drone buzzed overhead, calling out a warning to complete the battle within regulation time limits. Sound and light and pressure...
"̵F̸i̴n̸e̵, bu̶t̷ ̸y̷o̴u̷'̶d̸ ̴b̷e̴t̸t̷e̴r̴ ̷s̸l̵e̷e̶p̷ ̴w̴i̷t̸h̴ ̶o̸n̵e̶ ̵e̴y̴e̴ ̶o̵p̷e̸n̷ ̸a̴f̵t̴e̴r̵ ̴t̷h̸i̶s̶,̴ ̶a̷s̴s̶h̵o̴l̴e̷.,"̸ snapped Venira, returning to her side of the field with a harsh thrashing of her countless extremities.
The ageing champion exhaled, extended a gloved fist in a bold gesture, and called out to his pokémon, "Now, Sklushelk! Crown Fire, let's go!"
The behemothic deer bellowed in reply, his vitreous antlers erupting in a corona of flame as he charged forwards.
unrepentantAuthor
Part Five
And so Dash Ketchup turned and fled the killer fire, Pikachu and his son Raichu jumping on his back. They dove, but ended up falling off the cliff, and falling and falling further away. They fell a lot: it was a long distance. It was the deepest chasm in the region, and they took forever to fall to the bottom beneath them.
Dash woke up. “Oh no! I lost the championship match!” he exclaimed.
“Pika!” Pikachu exclaimed.
“It looks like we fell into a deep chasm,” Raichu exclaimed with his deep, masculine voice.
Dash groans. Then his stomach growled. “Ah gee I’m hungry too. I’ll never become champion like this!” Dash exclaimed. Laffracks hiding on the ceiling laughed.
“Pika!” Pikachu exclaimed.
But it got worst. Jesse and John of Team Pocket came into view. “Prepare for inconvenience,” “and make it double,” they exclaimed one after the other.
The Laffracks ooooo’d in suspense.
“We fell down the chasm beside the champion’s platform and we’ve been looking for the entrance for days,” Neowth, the regional evolution of Meowth, exclaimed. He lit up his tron lines inscribed in his fur, illuminating the cave with pretty and colourful rave lights. He lifted a paw up and bobbed his head and a deep, bassy tone emanant from him. “Yeah baby that’s right, Team Pocket’s here to complicate the narrative,” he exclaimed with a sexy voice.
The light finally exposed the Laffracks hiding on the ceiling. They were a bunch of bat-like Pokemon with huge heads and faces that resembled Emoji. The crying-emoji Laffrack was particularly frustrating to look at. They began clapping to the beat of Neowth’s trap remix.
“I think we should work together to find the surface,” exclaimed Raichu.
“I like that idea,” John said.
The Laffracks laughed.
“Pikachu,” Pikachu exclaimed.
Raichu, Pikachu, and Team Pocket left to explore the cave move, leaving Dash behind because he sucked. The Laffracks stayed behind to point and laugh as his stomach growled again, one passing out from the humour and falling onto the ground.
The tunnel was long and complicated, and their bodies constantly moving to the beat of Neowth’s sick track wore them out.
“I miss my mother,” Raichu exclaimed.
“Me too. I was never able to feel love the same way after she passed away. You must cherish the relationships you have in life, because you’ll never know when they end.” Pikachu exclaimed.
But finally they heard something like a heartbeat reverberate through the tunnels. The group ran forward. They could hear exclaiming up ahead. They burst through a cave opening just to find an amazing scene.
Houses are built into the sides of the chasm, with dangerous and thin scaffolding bridging the various structures. Bright lights blinked on and off as Humans, Neowths, and other rock-type Pokemon grooved together in harmony - Team Pocket and the two Chu’s stumbled across Rave Cave!
BestLizard
Part Six
James: Really Liz
Liz (DM): What?
James: Neowths?
Liz (DM): They’re Cute!
James: You just recolored the official meowth art.
Liz (DM): Shut up I ran out of commission money :(
Mel: Don’t be rude James!!!
Mel: I for one think it’s cute!!!
Liz (DM): Thank you.
Carlos: yeah james don’t be fucking rude
Carlos: sides, you’re the one that decided to make our team name “team pocket” as a team rocket joke.
James: You went along with it!
Liz (DM): Look would it make it any better if I called them.
Liz (DM): Uh
Liz (DM): Rockamuffins?
Mel: Liiizzzz! Don’t give in to him!!!
Mel: He’s just being grouchy because he got his last character killed.
James: Blasphemy.
Carlos: idk man I think she’s got a point
James: Ugh. Can we just move on?
James: I mean everything else about this scenario is cool and all.
Liz (DM): You brought this on yourself.
Liz (DM): But Fine.
Liz (DM): As you all enter the rave cave, the music comes to a sudden halt. The flashing lights all turn to shine down on your party. All eyes turn to look at you. Your pikachu companions nervously hide behind you. What do you do?
James: Rune takes a look around to see if he recognizes any new pokemon not registered in the pokedex.
Liz (DM): Right.
Liz (DM): Besides the Neowths, you see a handful of common pokemon like geodude and rockruff. But a warm glow in the back reveals a handful of reptilians with spikes of glowing red rock growing from their back. A check of your pokedex reveals the name lizigneous, and reveals that it is the child form of a three-stage pokemon.
James: Oh hell yes.
James: Rune throws a pokeball at the nearest lizigneous
Mel: James wait!
Carlos: Nono let it blow up in his face this should be good
Liz (DM): Roll catch rate.
Dicebot (Bot): Rolled 12 + 0
Liz (DM): That is… insufficient.
James: Shit.
Liz (DM): And worse, as it busts out, it looks angry. As do all the other pokemon around it. They’re starting to approach.
Liz (DM): Menacingly.
Carlos: Cal reaches for a pokeball and shoots Rune an annoyed look. “Nice going.”
James: “Sorry, sorry. Jeeze!”
Mel: Lilac rolls her eyes and pushes in front of the boys, brandishing her own pokeball.
Liz (DM): And just in the nick of time. The lead lizigneous leads the charge, its rocky spines glowing almost white. It looks like Team Pocket won’t be escaping the Rave Cave without a fight!
Windskull
Part Seven
“Ah!” Don Crostini cried. “Mama-Mia! You truly have us outnumbered! Team Pocket, I order all of you to get DOWN!
“… on the DANCE FLOOR!”
With an evil cackle, Don Crostini’s faithful feline sidekick, Ronk the manx, pushed aside a rock—no, it was a metal covering, painted to look like a rock! And beneath it was a lever!
“Pull the lever, Ronk!”
“Mreow!”
With a deep, gravelly growl, Ronk pulled the lever with a sand-covered paw. A disco ball dropped from the ceiling, along with hundreds of neon-covered strobe lights. Speakers lined the walls, all blasting rave music.
The lead lizigneous’s charge slowed to a stop, his body bouncing back-and-forth to the beat of the music. Within moments, all of his fellow lizigneous lost themselves to dance.
“Team Pocket, move out!”
“Oh no!” Lorenzo cried as he clutched his hair in frustration. He watched as Don Crostini and his team ascended the rocky staircase behind them. “I can’t let Team Pocket get away now! If I do, he’ll kidnap the president of the Pokemon Fan Club!”
Lorenzo ran to the lever and yanked it back to its previous position—but the strobe lights and blasting music didn’t stop!
“Agh! What to do—Oh, I know! Fettuccini, get out here and destroy the lights and music!”
Lorenzo released his megalocervidae from his pokeball. A large deer with clawed feet, three sets of antlers, and two whip-like tails stood before him. Fettuccini blinked his four eyes and shook his head. A sparkling ball of energy appeared between each set of antlers. Tossing his head back, Fettuccini released the three energy balls at once.
They crashed into the lights, putting an end to them. Repeating the move, Fettuccini destroyed the speakers. The Rave Cave was once again silent, and the lizigneous were free from their dancing spell.
“Now, let’s go after Team Pocket!”
Lorenzo dashed up the stairs with Fettuccini and the lizigneous army following him. They charged into the sunlight of the Pasta Plateau—in the distance were the iconic white outfits of the Team Pocket uniform.
“Fettuccini, get me there, presto!”
Grabbing one of the antlers, Lorenzo swung onto Fettuccini’s back. With a triumphant blare, Fettuccini put on a burst of speed—the lizigneous followed his suit, and the army sprinted forward, easily catching up with Team Pocket.
“AH!” a grunt screamed as a lizigneous hopped on her back. “Get it off, get it off, get it off!”
But her comrades were in no shape to help her: the rest of the lizigneous leaped on the backs of the grunts, sending them running around in a panic.
“Let’s go, Fettuccini! We can’t stop until we’ve got Don Crostini!”
Fettuccini trumpeted and dashed forward—Don Crostini was climbing the crags of a rock spire, atop which was the Pokemon Fan Club President’s house!
Fettuccini leapt up, gripping the crags with his elongate claws. He easily scaled the mountainside, passing Don Crostini. Once they reached a small platform, Lorenzo dismounted just in time for his opponent to climb up and meet him.
“Stop right there, Don Crostini! Your evil ways end here! I’ve got you cornered, and your grunts are defeated! Now, lay down your pokeballs and weapons, and dismantle Team Pocket!”
Don Crostini glared petulantly at Lorenzo for a second—then he closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped.
“You know what, Lorenzo, you are right.”
Lorenzo could hear barely suppressed laughter. Don Crostini continued, holding his hands at shoulder height.
“You have defeated me—pfft,” he snorted as he struggled to hold in a giggle. “I—pfft—I’m sorry, heh—I—I mean—pfft—I surrender!”
Lorenzo studied Don Crostini—the man’s shoulders quivered, his lips pursed. Maybe, just maybe, he was being honest?
“Really?”
“NO!”
Don Crostini blew a raspberry—and without further warning, a skyclops descended on Fettuccini. The megacervidae roared as the one-eyed avian tore at him with all of its seven claws.
“Fettuccini, no! Hey—wait, Don Crostini! I’m not done with you!”
Lorenzo bolted up the mountainside after the evil man, who cackled maliciously as he reached the plateau with the small house.
“At last! Mr. Pokemon Fan Club, you are mine!”
Lorenzo was still struggling onto the platform when he saw a well-dressed elderly man step out of the house and face Don Crostini.
“Ah? And who might you be?”
“ME?! I am Don Crostini, the leader of Team Pocket, and YOU are now my captive! Now, come down this mountainside with me, and be my prisoner! With someone of such fame and influence in my grasp, ALL of Bologna will answer to me! Wahahaha!”
Mr. Pokemon Fan Club sagely closed his eyes and nodded his head. “I see. Well, unfortunately for you, Mr. Crusty—
“DON CROSTINI!”
“—I am not from Balogna. I am from Kanto. And I will be doing things my way.”
Without a word, a magnificent Pokemon appeared in the doorway: she had a mane and tail of fire, and a long, glistening horn protruded from her forehead.
“Ah? What do you mean? That mutant equus will not—YAH!”
While Don Crostini spoke, Rapidash leapt forward, spun on her front legs, and delivered a swift kick to Don Crostini’s chest. The man flew off the edge of the platform, shouting all the way down.
“YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF MEEEEEEE!”
Lorenzo scaled the top of the platform; Fettuccini appeared at his side as Don Crostini’s skyclops flew to his aide.
“Are you all right, Mr. Pokemon Fan Club?”
“You may call me Mr. Fujimura. But yes, I am quite all right. And who might you be?”
“Oh—I’m Lorenzo, and this is Fettuccini. We were trying to stop Team Pocket from kidnapping you!”
Mr. Fujimura dipped his head. “That is very kind, but all is well. I had never even heard of Team Pocket before.”
“They’re trying to capture powerful people and exotic Pokemon! Is this one from your home region?”
Lorenzo looked at the Rapidash—she was beautiful, he supposed, but she looked so strange next to a megacervidae like Fettuccini.
“She is indeed,” he said with a smile. “Now! Lorenzo, if you are from here, there is a place I would like to see. Perhaps you could show me the Rave Cave?”
Next thing Lorenzo knew, he, his Pokemon, Mr. Fujimura, and his Rapidash were all in the Rave Cave, surrendering to the funky fresh tunes of Daft Punk.
Starlight Aurate