- Partners
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Hello everyone! This is the first of the two reverse corpses that ran in 2021. In this corpse, the first person wrote the end of the story. The next person wrote the part before that, and so on. For the convience of storytelling, parts are listed in sequential order, so the first part was the last part that was written. With that out of the way, here is the list of participants:
The full text appears below, with each author in a spoiler tag so that you can guess who wrote what. Thanks to all the participants!
Beams of wood and various tools were scattered across the grass. Cedar was busily poring over some blueprints, humming to himself while occasionally marking something down with a pencil.
“I mean… installing a hot tub in a Bibarel dam? Is that really going to be stable?”
“Not sure I see what the problem is,” Cedar replied breezily, grabbing a wooden beam and trimming it to size.
I rubbed the back of my head. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone doing that before.”
“That’s because none of them were visionaries.”
I tilted my head to look at the blueprints, struggling to make out what steps were involved. By all accounts, it appeared to just be a crude drawing of a Bibarel in a hot tub.
“How are you going to get electricity?” I asked.
“Best you not worry yourself,” Cedar quipped, now dragging some planks over to the dam. “After all, not everyone can understand the workings of a genius.” He began hammering them into place.
A million more questions were swarming in my head, but I knew it was pointless to question anything. Cedar would just brush it off. With a sigh, I walked back over to my picnic spread and reclined against a nearby tree with a cool, refreshing beverage in my hand.
It really was a lovely day. Perfectly sunny, with just a few splotches of fluffy clouds scattered throughout the sky. A slight breeze carries scents of nearby wildflowers.
“It’ll be fine,” I told myself, taking a sip of my tea and trying to ignore the sounds of the ongoing construction in the background.
Of course, the peace couldn’t last.
What in the dastardly…! The distant and slowly periodic thumping gave way to a concussive series as the bibarel dam came crashing apart, giving me a shock as I was enjoying my afternoon tea in the glen. The small pond system surged to a rushing flow, and through my splattered lenses I caught a blurry figure dive into the river and slink away. Mustel’ve been a conniving buizel, a ne’er-do-well, a delinquent!
Literally splashed, surprised, stirred, and disturbed me from my sweet, somnolent stupor, the weasel!
The buizel say that they don’t touch the dams and say that they’re opposed to them and support the careful removal of dams for the trevenant, but everyone knows they really and do it for a better selection of fish to feed on downstream. Quite shellfish and irresponsible… The council would have to hear of this!
Yet would the council be fair and responsible? The Floatzel seat had long been held by the high and mighty long-term politician, and for as long as I have known, the old regent Buckaroo still occupied the Bibarel seat. But in a recent open election, several merchants who were less enthused about bibarel dams had squeaked into office. However, one of the open seats had gone to a little known public servant, another bibarel, who promised to be fair and listen to all folk and bridge all townspeople parties. After learning more about him, I believed him with all my heart. He would see this for the truth: an unprovoked attack on perfectly good dams.
I picked up the last few biscuits that were less soggy, and polished them off quickly. No sense in letting food go to waste! The saturated ones were unsalvageable, however, and I rounded them up gingerly and flung them into the water. No sense in wasted food! Let the fish have them. A little foreign nourishment in the form of some excellent dessert snacks couldn’t hurt. I wiped my hands on the edge of my scarf and checked that I had everything packed, and made my way from the glen back to town. The council would have to hear of this. I normally ambled and soaked in the return trip from the glen, but I hardly took stock of the leaves and the greens and the breeze as I followed the dirt path that gave way to stone street road and buildings, thoughts swirling instead with the current state of governance affairs.
“Heeeeey…” the sneaky-looking buizel tried to catch my attention as I stormed down the sidewalk, but I ignored him. I was on my way to report a terrible to the local guild, and—come to think of it, that buizel looked a lot like the criminal I’d seen…
Beside him, a bidoof who didn’t look nearly as eager as the buizel did. Buizel tried to catch my attention once again, now walking sideways to keep pace with me. I growled. Didn’t he understand I wasn’t in the mood to talk right now?
Unfortunately for me, the growl was proof enough for him that I was listening.
“You’re lookin’ for the guild, right?” he asked.
“What’s it to you?” I steamed.
“Well, you’re going the wrong way.”
I stopped. It was true, I hadn’t been looking where I was going…
I let out a loud scream a moment later. Buizel was right—I wasn’t near the guild at all! I was in the middle of a ruckshack alleyway! I’d been so caught up in my anger that I hadn’t even been looking where I was going.
“You done?” Buizel asked a minute later. I was still screaming
“I… yes,” I said, trying to save what few shreds of dignity I had left. “You know the way to the guild?”
“Sure I do!” the buizel said. It’s right this way, if you’ll follow me…”
I must have realized halfway through the trip that there was no reasonable way for Buizel to know I was going to the guild.
"What do you mean, it's not a real Guild?!" Aipom yelled at Buizel.
"Er, well... it's just our treehouse," Bidoof said awkwardly, pointing at the 'Guild' sign, which on a second glance was clearly crudely handpainted by a child.
"Yeah," Buizel agreed, scratching the side of her head. "We were just playing."
Aipom looked between the two of them in outraged disbelief. "You said you were recruiting!"
"I mean, yeah," said Bidoof. "We just... wanted to make some friends. Like, other kids, to play with. In our treehouse."
"This is false advertising," Aipom grumbled. "So the mission we went on was just..."
"A game!" Buizel piped up. "I had a lot of fun."
Fun. Sure, it had been fun. But it hadn't been a real, proper Guild mission. The treasure they'd retrieved was-- "Hang on, what was the mysterious orb we found?"
"Oh. That was just a Foe-Hold Orb I brought. My parents don't like me playing out near dungeons without having one just in case." Bidoof pulled the orb back out of his backpack. "It made for a good prize, though! It's very shiny." He held it proudly up to the light.
Aipom slumped forward. "We didn't even discover a real treasure?!" he wailed.
"C'mon, it was fun anyway!" Buizel said, patting him on the back. "You don't find a lot of treasure outside real dungeons."
"Well, I want to go to a real dungeon, with a real Guild, and find real treasure!" Aipom insisted, pulling his backpack back on.
Bidoof and Buizel looked at one another. "You sure?" Bidoof asked, hesitant. "My parents say dungeons are pretty dangerous. Full of Pokémon who'll just attack you out of nowhere. Sometimes you'll enter a room and it's just full of them before you even know it."
"Exactly! Adventure! Danger!" Aipom's eyes lit up as he put his hat on and struck a pose. "That's what I want! Not games. No offense."
"Well, we had fun playing with you anyway," Bidoof said with a sigh.
"You can come back if you have enough of adventure and danger!" Buizel offered, grinning.
"Ha! Like that'll happen." Aipom exited the treehouse, grabbing onto the ladder with his tail. "Have fun with your games."
"Bye!" Buizel called after him.
"Hope you get to join a guild," came Bidoof's voice.
Despite everything, Aipom couldn't help but steal a glance back at the treehouse as he left, but then shook his head firmly and kept his gaze forward as he headed back to his house. His mom had already made dinner.
After he ate, he retreated to his room with a sigh.
Aipom stared outside his window, at the sun setting over the snow-covered hills of the Mystery Continent.
Tomorrow, his life would change forever. Tomorrow, he’d join an actual, real Guild.
He should be excited. He should be happy.
So why did he feel so scared? Why was he dreading this, this thing he’d looked forward to for so long?
Why did he almost feel like cancelling this, even after he’s come this far?
The Magic Hunters Adventurers Guild School Academy Institution was no joke, despite the long and silly name. Overseen by Arceus themselves from atop Destiny Tower, it was the most prestigious guild in the world. Joining it was a long, grueling and difficult process, one that took many months.
And now, he had finally been accepted into it, and would begin working as part of it tomorrow. He’d finally be a part of the guild his great grandparents were a part of.
And yet, he was having doubts, when he was so close.
Was it worry that his admission had been a mistake? Fear that he wouldn’t live up to the rest of the Guild? Terror that Arceus themselves would remove him from the guild if he ends up disappointing?
Or was this not what he truly wanted?
He truly did not know.
Maybe his worries were unfounded. Maybe he’d been the best of the best who had been picked. Maybe he’d surpass his guildmates. Maybe Arceus themselves would look upon him with pride.
But that all felt so unrealistic.
Maybe he should get some sleep, and think this through with a clear mind.
He walked back over to his bed, and curled up on it. He pulled his blanket over himself, and soon drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
The early dawn light filtered through Aipoms window. He woke with a start. Today was the first day of Magic Hunters Adventurers Guild School Academy Instituition!
"Ahhhhh," he cried. "I'm gonna be late." He hurried to his kitchen and grabbed a piece of speed-enhancing toast from the toaster. The toast was his only hope of reaching the Guild School in time!
Ever since his parents were unexpectedly killed, no one was there to make him toast. It was terribly tragic. Now he just happened to live with his uncle instead, on his uncles farm. He was an orphan. A single tear trickled from his eye.
There was no time to mourn. He had to be strong, for his father. Aipom clenched his fist and headed for the door. He paused to stare at the mirror by the door.
He was an average looking Aipom, with plain purple fur and bland brown eyes. He always wished he had blue heterochromatic eyes like those other handsome Aipom. Brushing his fur back with paw, he turned on again for the door.
To his relief, he made it to the school just in time. He squeezed into the desk, next to his absolute bestest friend, a large Raichu who loved to eat. Since he loved to eat he was also funny. Or maybe he was funny because he loved to eat... Aipom wasn't sure.
"Students," the Gardevoir teacher said. "We have a new substitute teacher."
She gestured to the door. A tall, graying Delphox with a long beard and a pointy hat came in. His gaze swept across the assembled students.
He introduced himself as Grandolf. The class dragged by, only lightened by his funny friends funny comments. Finally, the bell rang, and everyone started to leave.
"Just one moment, young Aipom. If I may speak with you."
"What would you want with me, a mere normal orphan boy?" he asked.
"Tell me, boy, have you ever heard of the Prophecy Of The Super Sword And The Chosen Child To Slay The Great Darkness That Approaches?"
"Oh yes, but I am just a normal average ordinary orphan boy." AIpom paused. "Well, except for that glowing sword I found in the woods out back last night after I was woken up from a dream of a giant evil monster."
Aipom laughed. "But I just do farm things. I wish I could be great one day, and become an adventurer!"
"Hmm... how would you like to be the chosen one?"
Aipom stared at Grandolf, shocked. "Well golly mister, sure!"
Grandolf nodded gravely. "Then let us proceed."
So it was that the wizened wizard took the young Aipom to his magical hut in the forest. "Now we begin training!"
Aipom frowned, looking all around and then looking up. "Hey mister, I think you forgot a line break. We did a lil time skip but you didn't put that-"
"Silence!" Grandolf roared quietly. "Your training begins now. You must learn to summon the Hero's Sword of Light and Truth Power."
Aipom nodded, suddenly determined. He reached out his paw and gritted his teeth. This was it, his chance to rise above being an ordinary farm Aipom, to become a Hero. Gritting his teeth, he stared forward, focusing with all his mind on the totally ordinary glowing sword he'd happened to stumble across in the woods yesterday.
To his delight, a montage began. To his dismay, it was one of the failure kinds, where he tried a hundred different ways, only to not quite make it. (And one or two funny gags).
"I don't get it!" Aipom cried. "How? How do I summon the Sword of Destiny!?"
"You must looking inside yourself." Grandolf declared. "That is the way. Then the Force of Magic will be with you."
And then is randomly hit Aipom. A flashback. He remembered his tragic parents death, and his fathers final dramatic words. "Everything you need is in here-" and he'd put his paw on Aipom's heart.
"I get it now!" Ambipom cried, an amazed smile spreading across his face. "It's not about finding the sword: it's about opening your heart so the sword can find you!" He plopped down on the stone floor and raised his paws in front of him, eyes closed, while he intoned, "O Sword o' Heaven-Slicing, hear my call! I'm going to avenge my parents, and I need your help. Join me, and together we'll cut the sky in half!"
Nothing happened. Ambipom popped one eye open and gave Piplup a pointed look. "Come on! You have to help!"
Piplup didn't think she wanted any kind of sword finding her, especially not a legendarily violent one. But she could hear scraping and snuffling from somewhere down the corridor, and she doubted the berries would keep the tyrantum occupied much longer. She sat down next to Ambipom and squeezed her eyes shut. "O Sword o' Heaven-Slicing," she began lamely. All that was in her heart was a fervent desire to get back to her warm, cozy little cottage.
"Do you think it's there?" Ambipom whispered after a moment. It was hard to tell, with both of them keeping their eyes closed.
"Well, I didn't hear anything," Piplup huffed, annoyed. Something scraped against the wall of the corridor outside. There was a heavy footstep. Piplup decided it was past time to peek.
Ambipom opened his eyes, too, upon hearing her disgruntled squawk. "Whoah!" he said, and leapt back to his feet, a broad grin on his face. It was a sword there where there had been none before, a floating sword with a long, shining blade and, trailing behind it, a long blue tassle. Set into the middle of its hilt was a brilliant blue stone.
A stone that blinked.
"Are you, umm, are you the legendary Sword o' Heaven-Slicing?" Piplup asked nervously. The sword pivoted smoothly in the air, fixing her with its cold blue eye. She took half a step back, prepared for some kind of attack, but the sword merely tilted in the air, then righted itself, an unmistakable nod.
"Great! That's settled, then," Ambipom said, and before Piplup could even shout a warning, he leapt forward and grabbed the sword by its hilt.
The sword's blue tassle whipped around and wrapped snug about his arm. Ambipom froze, a grimace on his face. "Ooh," he said. "That... That kinda tingles, haha."
Piplup didn't even have time to worry about whether her friend was about to fall victim to some dreadful curse. There was another footstep, and then another. A hot wind, smelling of berry juice, blew down the corridor. "We have to get out of here!" Piplup yelped. They'd found the sword. She didn't think she wanted to see Ambipom use it--but neither did she want to be eaten.
Ambipom snapped back to attention. "Right!" he said, and raised the sword high. And left it there, pointing at the ceiling.
"Wh-what?" Piplup stared up at the ceiling as stone cracked and groaned. A deep fissure appeared in the rock overhead, one that widened and deepened with awful grinding noises. Ambipom stood where he was, posing triumphantly. Stone rained down! Light shone through--!
--
"Mmm," Loremaster Eldegoss said. "Very impressive. Nevertheless, I cannot allow you to continue with this foolishness. The fact that the sword actually works doesn't make it better."
"You can't be serious," Ambipom moaned. It was a bit ridiculous, seeing how cowed he was by a pokémon who barely even came up to his hip, and was mostly dandelion-fluff at that.
"I'm afraid I can," Loremaster Eldegoss replied sternly.
Piplup couldn't muster anything but quiet relief that Loremaster Eldegoss was having none of Ambipom's nonsense, and the sword, too, seemed to be keeping its opinion to itself.
“So we went through all that trouble to get the legendary Sword o’ Heaven-Slicing, but now you’re telling us we shouldn’t cut the sky in half?!” Ambipom stated, staring incredulously at Loremaster Eldegoss. “The troposphere killed my parents, and you want to let it just get away with that?!”
“The whole point of your quest was to destroy the sword, not to use it!” Eldegoss replied. “You can’t let your need for vengeance blind you to the greater good! No one knows exactly what effects chopping the whole heavens in two would have, but it’d almost certainly have dire consequences for us all.”
“Now hold on a minute, Eldegoss,” Senior Astronomer Stonjourner said, “don’t you reckon it’d be a lot easier to look at the Krabby Nebula without that darned atmosphere getting in the way?”
General Gogoat nodded, stroking his beard with a vine. “You also have to consider the theories that Rayquaza is so much stronger than Groudon and Kyogre because the sky is unified, while the land is split into continents and the waters split into seven seas. If Rayquaza is weakened, that could deter the Draconic Confederacy from making another attempt at our borders.”
“Aren’t you all forgetting that some of us need to use the sky?” Postmaster General Honchcrow said. “If the sky got cut in half, what would be in between the halves? A vacuum? My postmon couldn’t be asked to fly through that!”
“What if they just, I dunno, flew at the gap really fast and then held their breath?” I suggested helpfully.
The Postmaster General turned to glare at me, but then her attention was drawn away by an approaching Beartic. “Hey guys, what’s up?” he asked, both paws occupied by holding ornate drinking horns.
“Treasurer Beartic, must you bring those wretched things with you everywhere?” Gogoat said. “Those could’ve been from one of my ancestors, for all you know!”
“Whoa, don’t get your bushes in a bunch! I got ‘em from a dead Dubwool. His ghost sold them to me. Totally legit. Anyhoo, what’s today’s intractable argument about?”
“We’re discussing the wisdom – or distinct lack thereof – of using the magical Sword Of Heaven-Slicing Ambipom obtained to cut the sky in half,” Loremaster Eldegoss clarified.
“You got the Sword o’ Heaven-Slicing? NIIIIIIIICE!” Beartic proclaimed. “You could probably get like sixty, maybe seventy-thousand Poké for that. Maybe more; I know a ‘mon. But it’d be a pretty tough sell without chopping up the sky at least once to show its power off.”
“I am not selling the sword!” Ambipom declared, tail-hands clenched. “Pokemon have died in the quest for this weapon!”
Beartic took a casual swig from one of his horns. “Pretty sure Pokemon have died in the quest for seventy-thousand Poké, too.”
“If you put that sword on the market, I can guarantee you Draconic agents would snap it up in seconds,” Gogoat declared. “The only safe place for it is within our vaults, waiting to be used at a strategic moment.”
“No, the true safe place for it is melting at the bottom of a volcano!” Eldegoss snapped. “I wouldn’t have thought one would need to be a master lore-keeper to see the dangers inherent in an object that can split the sky in half, but apparently my judgment was in error!”
First Scribe Golurk suddenly lurched to their feet. “Proposal:” they began, light flaring from the cracks in their body, “these kinds of disagreements invariably end in a physical altercation between all members of the court. I suggest we save time by starting the fight now rather than at the end of the session.”
“Well darned if that doesn’t more sense than most proposals I’ve heard today! Let’s get to it!” Stonjourner proclaimed, before turning and kicking Gogoat in the side.
The hapless general tumbled to the ground. “Wha- urgh! I was on your side, you oaf!”
“Eh, why not?” Treasurer Beartic adjusted the grip on his drinking horns so they faced point-down, then charged at Honchcrow. She managed to take to the air quickly enough to evade the attack, then plucked a pair of iron thorns out of her postal bag with her beak. These she transferred to her talons to hurl at the bear, but the thorns got caught up in the winds of a leaf tornado Eldegoss was shooting at Golurk, and went sailing off in Stonjourner’s direction. They bounced off his body, then were snatched up by Gogoat’s vines, who began wielding them like daggers just in time to parry an assault from Beartic’s horns.
As the Kingless Court devolved into chaos, Ambipom climbed onto my back and I levitated high into the air, safely above the majority of the violence. “This was not what I expected the meeting with our land’s rulers would be like,” he muttered.
“Hey, maybe they’d stop the battle if you just went ahead and used the sword,” I said. “Then there’d be nothing left to fight over, right?”
“You’re right. I should’ve just done this as soon as we acquired the sword,” Ambipom said, pulling it from its scabbard.
Down below, across the battlefield, Pokémon lowered weapons, horns, and glowing fists. The glow of moves died out as they stared at the beam of light splitting the heavens—a beam of light which burst from the sword held by my loyal partner.
“Sceptile,” I gasped. Sceptile let the sword fall, but the light remained. He trembled, and my forelegs gave out.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “For so long, we thought I was the chosen one. But, it was you all along.” I pressed my forehead to the stone of the Great Tower we had ascended. “You are the true ruler of the land.”
Waves of emotion washed through me as I bowed to my new king—awe, guilt, pride—but then suddenly: “No, Stantler, please get up. I’m not the chosen one.” My partner pulled me to my feet.
“But Sceptile," I objected, "you were the one who managed to use the sword to erase the shadows of conflict from the hearts of all!”
Sceptile shook his head. “But I never would have made it here without your leadership. You were the one who kept us all together, the only one who remained steadfast the whole way through. If any one of us had given up, this quest would have failed. Mawile was down at the battlefield holding back the enemy's forces. Even though Coalossal stayed behind, without her people’s support we never would have broken through the Barrier of Shadow to the Final Plains. And Mr Rime…without his noble sacrifice, the darkness would have prevailed long ago.”
“It wasn’t me,” I could only reply. “I’m not so strong—it was only because of all your help that I made it as far as I did.”
Sceptile nodded vigorously. “Exactly.”
We looked out onto the battlefield once more. At the top of a hill, I could see Mawile gathering the people around her. A great cheer rose to the top of the tower where we stood: a victorious cry for the one who saved us all.
I tore my gaze from the sight. “But, all our previous rulers are dead. If you want...you can be king.”
For several moments, Sceptile remained quiet, looking over the parapet. “I know in the beginning all I wanted was to fulfill my role as the queen’s heir, but I’ve realized something. This whole war started because so many of our nations were ruled by corrupt royals. Those which weren’t had to deal with constant infighting over who would next take the throne.”
“Sceptile,” I said seriously. “Hear me well when I say this: you’re one of the best Pokémon I’ve ever known. If you’ll be a king, you’ll be a great and just one.”
He turned to me. “But even if I’m a good king, what if one of my successors isn’t? Someone always comes around, someone who abuses the power.”
Taken aback, I asked, “But...what other options do we have?"
“It took all of us to get here—and it wasn’t just us.” He waved an arm toward the people below. “There were so many who helped us along the way, and so many who were the heroes of their own stories. It isn’t right that one Pokémon should hold all the power, but maybe if we could think of some way where more could have a say…”
“You mean some sort of system where the people can exercise shared power by having majority vote decide policies and leaders, leaders who are re-elected on a regular basis and who can be countered in various ways so that their power cannot be so all-consuming?”
“Yes, like that!” Sceptile exclaimed.
I considered this. “That does seem more equitable than our current system of hereditary monarchy. Such a thing has never been tried, but maybe—“ I looked to the crowd below. “Maybe this is something that needs to be done.
“No system can be completely immune to corruption, but I want to try.” Sceptile held out a hand. “We’ll need to talk to everyone else, but do you agree to attempt something new?
I pressed my hoof into my partner’s outstretched palm. “Let’s do this!”
The full text appears below, with each author in a spoiler tag so that you can guess who wrote what. Thanks to all the participants!
Thousand Roads Exquisite Corpse 2021
Reverse Corpse I
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"Reverse Corpse I
Beams of wood and various tools were scattered across the grass. Cedar was busily poring over some blueprints, humming to himself while occasionally marking something down with a pencil.
“I mean… installing a hot tub in a Bibarel dam? Is that really going to be stable?”
“Not sure I see what the problem is,” Cedar replied breezily, grabbing a wooden beam and trimming it to size.
I rubbed the back of my head. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone doing that before.”
“That’s because none of them were visionaries.”
I tilted my head to look at the blueprints, struggling to make out what steps were involved. By all accounts, it appeared to just be a crude drawing of a Bibarel in a hot tub.
“How are you going to get electricity?” I asked.
“Best you not worry yourself,” Cedar quipped, now dragging some planks over to the dam. “After all, not everyone can understand the workings of a genius.” He began hammering them into place.
A million more questions were swarming in my head, but I knew it was pointless to question anything. Cedar would just brush it off. With a sigh, I walked back over to my picnic spread and reclined against a nearby tree with a cool, refreshing beverage in my hand.
It really was a lovely day. Perfectly sunny, with just a few splotches of fluffy clouds scattered throughout the sky. A slight breeze carries scents of nearby wildflowers.
“It’ll be fine,” I told myself, taking a sip of my tea and trying to ignore the sounds of the ongoing construction in the background.
Of course, the peace couldn’t last.
Chibi Pika
What in the dastardly…! The distant and slowly periodic thumping gave way to a concussive series as the bibarel dam came crashing apart, giving me a shock as I was enjoying my afternoon tea in the glen. The small pond system surged to a rushing flow, and through my splattered lenses I caught a blurry figure dive into the river and slink away. Mustel’ve been a conniving buizel, a ne’er-do-well, a delinquent!
Literally splashed, surprised, stirred, and disturbed me from my sweet, somnolent stupor, the weasel!
The buizel say that they don’t touch the dams and say that they’re opposed to them and support the careful removal of dams for the trevenant, but everyone knows they really and do it for a better selection of fish to feed on downstream. Quite shellfish and irresponsible… The council would have to hear of this!
Yet would the council be fair and responsible? The Floatzel seat had long been held by the high and mighty long-term politician, and for as long as I have known, the old regent Buckaroo still occupied the Bibarel seat. But in a recent open election, several merchants who were less enthused about bibarel dams had squeaked into office. However, one of the open seats had gone to a little known public servant, another bibarel, who promised to be fair and listen to all folk and bridge all townspeople parties. After learning more about him, I believed him with all my heart. He would see this for the truth: an unprovoked attack on perfectly good dams.
I picked up the last few biscuits that were less soggy, and polished them off quickly. No sense in letting food go to waste! The saturated ones were unsalvageable, however, and I rounded them up gingerly and flung them into the water. No sense in wasted food! Let the fish have them. A little foreign nourishment in the form of some excellent dessert snacks couldn’t hurt. I wiped my hands on the edge of my scarf and checked that I had everything packed, and made my way from the glen back to town. The council would have to hear of this. I normally ambled and soaked in the return trip from the glen, but I hardly took stock of the leaves and the greens and the breeze as I followed the dirt path that gave way to stone street road and buildings, thoughts swirling instead with the current state of governance affairs.
Rainfall
“Heeeeey…” the sneaky-looking buizel tried to catch my attention as I stormed down the sidewalk, but I ignored him. I was on my way to report a terrible to the local guild, and—come to think of it, that buizel looked a lot like the criminal I’d seen…
Beside him, a bidoof who didn’t look nearly as eager as the buizel did. Buizel tried to catch my attention once again, now walking sideways to keep pace with me. I growled. Didn’t he understand I wasn’t in the mood to talk right now?
Unfortunately for me, the growl was proof enough for him that I was listening.
“You’re lookin’ for the guild, right?” he asked.
“What’s it to you?” I steamed.
“Well, you’re going the wrong way.”
I stopped. It was true, I hadn’t been looking where I was going…
I let out a loud scream a moment later. Buizel was right—I wasn’t near the guild at all! I was in the middle of a ruckshack alleyway! I’d been so caught up in my anger that I hadn’t even been looking where I was going.
“You done?” Buizel asked a minute later. I was still screaming
“I… yes,” I said, trying to save what few shreds of dignity I had left. “You know the way to the guild?”
“Sure I do!” the buizel said. It’s right this way, if you’ll follow me…”
I must have realized halfway through the trip that there was no reasonable way for Buizel to know I was going to the guild.
Sparkling Espeon
"What do you mean, it's not a real Guild?!" Aipom yelled at Buizel.
"Er, well... it's just our treehouse," Bidoof said awkwardly, pointing at the 'Guild' sign, which on a second glance was clearly crudely handpainted by a child.
"Yeah," Buizel agreed, scratching the side of her head. "We were just playing."
Aipom looked between the two of them in outraged disbelief. "You said you were recruiting!"
"I mean, yeah," said Bidoof. "We just... wanted to make some friends. Like, other kids, to play with. In our treehouse."
"This is false advertising," Aipom grumbled. "So the mission we went on was just..."
"A game!" Buizel piped up. "I had a lot of fun."
Fun. Sure, it had been fun. But it hadn't been a real, proper Guild mission. The treasure they'd retrieved was-- "Hang on, what was the mysterious orb we found?"
"Oh. That was just a Foe-Hold Orb I brought. My parents don't like me playing out near dungeons without having one just in case." Bidoof pulled the orb back out of his backpack. "It made for a good prize, though! It's very shiny." He held it proudly up to the light.
Aipom slumped forward. "We didn't even discover a real treasure?!" he wailed.
"C'mon, it was fun anyway!" Buizel said, patting him on the back. "You don't find a lot of treasure outside real dungeons."
"Well, I want to go to a real dungeon, with a real Guild, and find real treasure!" Aipom insisted, pulling his backpack back on.
Bidoof and Buizel looked at one another. "You sure?" Bidoof asked, hesitant. "My parents say dungeons are pretty dangerous. Full of Pokémon who'll just attack you out of nowhere. Sometimes you'll enter a room and it's just full of them before you even know it."
"Exactly! Adventure! Danger!" Aipom's eyes lit up as he put his hat on and struck a pose. "That's what I want! Not games. No offense."
"Well, we had fun playing with you anyway," Bidoof said with a sigh.
"You can come back if you have enough of adventure and danger!" Buizel offered, grinning.
"Ha! Like that'll happen." Aipom exited the treehouse, grabbing onto the ladder with his tail. "Have fun with your games."
"Bye!" Buizel called after him.
"Hope you get to join a guild," came Bidoof's voice.
Despite everything, Aipom couldn't help but steal a glance back at the treehouse as he left, but then shook his head firmly and kept his gaze forward as he headed back to his house. His mom had already made dinner.
After he ate, he retreated to his room with a sigh.
Dragonfree
Aipom stared outside his window, at the sun setting over the snow-covered hills of the Mystery Continent.
Tomorrow, his life would change forever. Tomorrow, he’d join an actual, real Guild.
He should be excited. He should be happy.
So why did he feel so scared? Why was he dreading this, this thing he’d looked forward to for so long?
Why did he almost feel like cancelling this, even after he’s come this far?
The Magic Hunters Adventurers Guild School Academy Institution was no joke, despite the long and silly name. Overseen by Arceus themselves from atop Destiny Tower, it was the most prestigious guild in the world. Joining it was a long, grueling and difficult process, one that took many months.
And now, he had finally been accepted into it, and would begin working as part of it tomorrow. He’d finally be a part of the guild his great grandparents were a part of.
And yet, he was having doubts, when he was so close.
Was it worry that his admission had been a mistake? Fear that he wouldn’t live up to the rest of the Guild? Terror that Arceus themselves would remove him from the guild if he ends up disappointing?
Or was this not what he truly wanted?
He truly did not know.
Maybe his worries were unfounded. Maybe he’d been the best of the best who had been picked. Maybe he’d surpass his guildmates. Maybe Arceus themselves would look upon him with pride.
But that all felt so unrealistic.
Maybe he should get some sleep, and think this through with a clear mind.
He walked back over to his bed, and curled up on it. He pulled his blanket over himself, and soon drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
IFBench
The early dawn light filtered through Aipoms window. He woke with a start. Today was the first day of Magic Hunters Adventurers Guild School Academy Instituition!
"Ahhhhh," he cried. "I'm gonna be late." He hurried to his kitchen and grabbed a piece of speed-enhancing toast from the toaster. The toast was his only hope of reaching the Guild School in time!
Ever since his parents were unexpectedly killed, no one was there to make him toast. It was terribly tragic. Now he just happened to live with his uncle instead, on his uncles farm. He was an orphan. A single tear trickled from his eye.
There was no time to mourn. He had to be strong, for his father. Aipom clenched his fist and headed for the door. He paused to stare at the mirror by the door.
He was an average looking Aipom, with plain purple fur and bland brown eyes. He always wished he had blue heterochromatic eyes like those other handsome Aipom. Brushing his fur back with paw, he turned on again for the door.
To his relief, he made it to the school just in time. He squeezed into the desk, next to his absolute bestest friend, a large Raichu who loved to eat. Since he loved to eat he was also funny. Or maybe he was funny because he loved to eat... Aipom wasn't sure.
"Students," the Gardevoir teacher said. "We have a new substitute teacher."
She gestured to the door. A tall, graying Delphox with a long beard and a pointy hat came in. His gaze swept across the assembled students.
He introduced himself as Grandolf. The class dragged by, only lightened by his funny friends funny comments. Finally, the bell rang, and everyone started to leave.
"Just one moment, young Aipom. If I may speak with you."
"What would you want with me, a mere normal orphan boy?" he asked.
"Tell me, boy, have you ever heard of the Prophecy Of The Super Sword And The Chosen Child To Slay The Great Darkness That Approaches?"
"Oh yes, but I am just a normal average ordinary orphan boy." AIpom paused. "Well, except for that glowing sword I found in the woods out back last night after I was woken up from a dream of a giant evil monster."
Aipom laughed. "But I just do farm things. I wish I could be great one day, and become an adventurer!"
"Hmm... how would you like to be the chosen one?"
Aipom stared at Grandolf, shocked. "Well golly mister, sure!"
Grandolf nodded gravely. "Then let us proceed."
So it was that the wizened wizard took the young Aipom to his magical hut in the forest. "Now we begin training!"
Aipom frowned, looking all around and then looking up. "Hey mister, I think you forgot a line break. We did a lil time skip but you didn't put that-"
"Silence!" Grandolf roared quietly. "Your training begins now. You must learn to summon the Hero's Sword of Light and Truth Power."
Aipom nodded, suddenly determined. He reached out his paw and gritted his teeth. This was it, his chance to rise above being an ordinary farm Aipom, to become a Hero. Gritting his teeth, he stared forward, focusing with all his mind on the totally ordinary glowing sword he'd happened to stumble across in the woods yesterday.
To his delight, a montage began. To his dismay, it was one of the failure kinds, where he tried a hundred different ways, only to not quite make it. (And one or two funny gags).
"I don't get it!" Aipom cried. "How? How do I summon the Sword of Destiny!?"
"You must looking inside yourself." Grandolf declared. "That is the way. Then the Force of Magic will be with you."
And then is randomly hit Aipom. A flashback. He remembered his tragic parents death, and his fathers final dramatic words. "Everything you need is in here-" and he'd put his paw on Aipom's heart.
Flyg0n
"I get it now!" Ambipom cried, an amazed smile spreading across his face. "It's not about finding the sword: it's about opening your heart so the sword can find you!" He plopped down on the stone floor and raised his paws in front of him, eyes closed, while he intoned, "O Sword o' Heaven-Slicing, hear my call! I'm going to avenge my parents, and I need your help. Join me, and together we'll cut the sky in half!"
Nothing happened. Ambipom popped one eye open and gave Piplup a pointed look. "Come on! You have to help!"
Piplup didn't think she wanted any kind of sword finding her, especially not a legendarily violent one. But she could hear scraping and snuffling from somewhere down the corridor, and she doubted the berries would keep the tyrantum occupied much longer. She sat down next to Ambipom and squeezed her eyes shut. "O Sword o' Heaven-Slicing," she began lamely. All that was in her heart was a fervent desire to get back to her warm, cozy little cottage.
"Do you think it's there?" Ambipom whispered after a moment. It was hard to tell, with both of them keeping their eyes closed.
"Well, I didn't hear anything," Piplup huffed, annoyed. Something scraped against the wall of the corridor outside. There was a heavy footstep. Piplup decided it was past time to peek.
Ambipom opened his eyes, too, upon hearing her disgruntled squawk. "Whoah!" he said, and leapt back to his feet, a broad grin on his face. It was a sword there where there had been none before, a floating sword with a long, shining blade and, trailing behind it, a long blue tassle. Set into the middle of its hilt was a brilliant blue stone.
A stone that blinked.
"Are you, umm, are you the legendary Sword o' Heaven-Slicing?" Piplup asked nervously. The sword pivoted smoothly in the air, fixing her with its cold blue eye. She took half a step back, prepared for some kind of attack, but the sword merely tilted in the air, then righted itself, an unmistakable nod.
"Great! That's settled, then," Ambipom said, and before Piplup could even shout a warning, he leapt forward and grabbed the sword by its hilt.
The sword's blue tassle whipped around and wrapped snug about his arm. Ambipom froze, a grimace on his face. "Ooh," he said. "That... That kinda tingles, haha."
Piplup didn't even have time to worry about whether her friend was about to fall victim to some dreadful curse. There was another footstep, and then another. A hot wind, smelling of berry juice, blew down the corridor. "We have to get out of here!" Piplup yelped. They'd found the sword. She didn't think she wanted to see Ambipom use it--but neither did she want to be eaten.
Ambipom snapped back to attention. "Right!" he said, and raised the sword high. And left it there, pointing at the ceiling.
"Wh-what?" Piplup stared up at the ceiling as stone cracked and groaned. A deep fissure appeared in the rock overhead, one that widened and deepened with awful grinding noises. Ambipom stood where he was, posing triumphantly. Stone rained down! Light shone through--!
--
"Mmm," Loremaster Eldegoss said. "Very impressive. Nevertheless, I cannot allow you to continue with this foolishness. The fact that the sword actually works doesn't make it better."
"You can't be serious," Ambipom moaned. It was a bit ridiculous, seeing how cowed he was by a pokémon who barely even came up to his hip, and was mostly dandelion-fluff at that.
"I'm afraid I can," Loremaster Eldegoss replied sternly.
Piplup couldn't muster anything but quiet relief that Loremaster Eldegoss was having none of Ambipom's nonsense, and the sword, too, seemed to be keeping its opinion to itself.
Negrek
“So we went through all that trouble to get the legendary Sword o’ Heaven-Slicing, but now you’re telling us we shouldn’t cut the sky in half?!” Ambipom stated, staring incredulously at Loremaster Eldegoss. “The troposphere killed my parents, and you want to let it just get away with that?!”
“The whole point of your quest was to destroy the sword, not to use it!” Eldegoss replied. “You can’t let your need for vengeance blind you to the greater good! No one knows exactly what effects chopping the whole heavens in two would have, but it’d almost certainly have dire consequences for us all.”
“Now hold on a minute, Eldegoss,” Senior Astronomer Stonjourner said, “don’t you reckon it’d be a lot easier to look at the Krabby Nebula without that darned atmosphere getting in the way?”
General Gogoat nodded, stroking his beard with a vine. “You also have to consider the theories that Rayquaza is so much stronger than Groudon and Kyogre because the sky is unified, while the land is split into continents and the waters split into seven seas. If Rayquaza is weakened, that could deter the Draconic Confederacy from making another attempt at our borders.”
“Aren’t you all forgetting that some of us need to use the sky?” Postmaster General Honchcrow said. “If the sky got cut in half, what would be in between the halves? A vacuum? My postmon couldn’t be asked to fly through that!”
“What if they just, I dunno, flew at the gap really fast and then held their breath?” I suggested helpfully.
The Postmaster General turned to glare at me, but then her attention was drawn away by an approaching Beartic. “Hey guys, what’s up?” he asked, both paws occupied by holding ornate drinking horns.
“Treasurer Beartic, must you bring those wretched things with you everywhere?” Gogoat said. “Those could’ve been from one of my ancestors, for all you know!”
“Whoa, don’t get your bushes in a bunch! I got ‘em from a dead Dubwool. His ghost sold them to me. Totally legit. Anyhoo, what’s today’s intractable argument about?”
“We’re discussing the wisdom – or distinct lack thereof – of using the magical Sword Of Heaven-Slicing Ambipom obtained to cut the sky in half,” Loremaster Eldegoss clarified.
“You got the Sword o’ Heaven-Slicing? NIIIIIIIICE!” Beartic proclaimed. “You could probably get like sixty, maybe seventy-thousand Poké for that. Maybe more; I know a ‘mon. But it’d be a pretty tough sell without chopping up the sky at least once to show its power off.”
“I am not selling the sword!” Ambipom declared, tail-hands clenched. “Pokemon have died in the quest for this weapon!”
Beartic took a casual swig from one of his horns. “Pretty sure Pokemon have died in the quest for seventy-thousand Poké, too.”
“If you put that sword on the market, I can guarantee you Draconic agents would snap it up in seconds,” Gogoat declared. “The only safe place for it is within our vaults, waiting to be used at a strategic moment.”
“No, the true safe place for it is melting at the bottom of a volcano!” Eldegoss snapped. “I wouldn’t have thought one would need to be a master lore-keeper to see the dangers inherent in an object that can split the sky in half, but apparently my judgment was in error!”
First Scribe Golurk suddenly lurched to their feet. “Proposal:” they began, light flaring from the cracks in their body, “these kinds of disagreements invariably end in a physical altercation between all members of the court. I suggest we save time by starting the fight now rather than at the end of the session.”
“Well darned if that doesn’t more sense than most proposals I’ve heard today! Let’s get to it!” Stonjourner proclaimed, before turning and kicking Gogoat in the side.
The hapless general tumbled to the ground. “Wha- urgh! I was on your side, you oaf!”
“Eh, why not?” Treasurer Beartic adjusted the grip on his drinking horns so they faced point-down, then charged at Honchcrow. She managed to take to the air quickly enough to evade the attack, then plucked a pair of iron thorns out of her postal bag with her beak. These she transferred to her talons to hurl at the bear, but the thorns got caught up in the winds of a leaf tornado Eldegoss was shooting at Golurk, and went sailing off in Stonjourner’s direction. They bounced off his body, then were snatched up by Gogoat’s vines, who began wielding them like daggers just in time to parry an assault from Beartic’s horns.
As the Kingless Court devolved into chaos, Ambipom climbed onto my back and I levitated high into the air, safely above the majority of the violence. “This was not what I expected the meeting with our land’s rulers would be like,” he muttered.
“Hey, maybe they’d stop the battle if you just went ahead and used the sword,” I said. “Then there’d be nothing left to fight over, right?”
“You’re right. I should’ve just done this as soon as we acquired the sword,” Ambipom said, pulling it from its scabbard.
The Walrein
Down below, across the battlefield, Pokémon lowered weapons, horns, and glowing fists. The glow of moves died out as they stared at the beam of light splitting the heavens—a beam of light which burst from the sword held by my loyal partner.
“Sceptile,” I gasped. Sceptile let the sword fall, but the light remained. He trembled, and my forelegs gave out.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “For so long, we thought I was the chosen one. But, it was you all along.” I pressed my forehead to the stone of the Great Tower we had ascended. “You are the true ruler of the land.”
Waves of emotion washed through me as I bowed to my new king—awe, guilt, pride—but then suddenly: “No, Stantler, please get up. I’m not the chosen one.” My partner pulled me to my feet.
“But Sceptile," I objected, "you were the one who managed to use the sword to erase the shadows of conflict from the hearts of all!”
Sceptile shook his head. “But I never would have made it here without your leadership. You were the one who kept us all together, the only one who remained steadfast the whole way through. If any one of us had given up, this quest would have failed. Mawile was down at the battlefield holding back the enemy's forces. Even though Coalossal stayed behind, without her people’s support we never would have broken through the Barrier of Shadow to the Final Plains. And Mr Rime…without his noble sacrifice, the darkness would have prevailed long ago.”
“It wasn’t me,” I could only reply. “I’m not so strong—it was only because of all your help that I made it as far as I did.”
Sceptile nodded vigorously. “Exactly.”
We looked out onto the battlefield once more. At the top of a hill, I could see Mawile gathering the people around her. A great cheer rose to the top of the tower where we stood: a victorious cry for the one who saved us all.
I tore my gaze from the sight. “But, all our previous rulers are dead. If you want...you can be king.”
For several moments, Sceptile remained quiet, looking over the parapet. “I know in the beginning all I wanted was to fulfill my role as the queen’s heir, but I’ve realized something. This whole war started because so many of our nations were ruled by corrupt royals. Those which weren’t had to deal with constant infighting over who would next take the throne.”
“Sceptile,” I said seriously. “Hear me well when I say this: you’re one of the best Pokémon I’ve ever known. If you’ll be a king, you’ll be a great and just one.”
He turned to me. “But even if I’m a good king, what if one of my successors isn’t? Someone always comes around, someone who abuses the power.”
Taken aback, I asked, “But...what other options do we have?"
“It took all of us to get here—and it wasn’t just us.” He waved an arm toward the people below. “There were so many who helped us along the way, and so many who were the heroes of their own stories. It isn’t right that one Pokémon should hold all the power, but maybe if we could think of some way where more could have a say…”
“You mean some sort of system where the people can exercise shared power by having majority vote decide policies and leaders, leaders who are re-elected on a regular basis and who can be countered in various ways so that their power cannot be so all-consuming?”
“Yes, like that!” Sceptile exclaimed.
I considered this. “That does seem more equitable than our current system of hereditary monarchy. Such a thing has never been tried, but maybe—“ I looked to the crowd below. “Maybe this is something that needs to be done.
“No system can be completely immune to corruption, but I want to try.” Sceptile held out a hand. “We’ll need to talk to everyone else, but do you agree to attempt something new?
I pressed my hoof into my partner’s outstretched palm. “Let’s do this!”
Equitial
