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Pokémon Drowning

Tango

Mascot of the Doduo Alliance
Location
beyond the Nexus
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. doduo
Chapter 2
Hello again!

I'm back for the 2nd chapter review I promised! :veelove:

Maressa tightened the ties of her bandanna as she stared at her reflection. Closing her eyes, she straightened up, took a few deep breaths, and looked at herself once more. She tried to keep calm but her reflection only showed how anxious she was. She paced back and forth, sat down, stood back up, said a prayer—yet nothing would fend off the anxiety that kept attacking her.
Aww... She is feeling nervous! Lack of sleep probably isn't helping with that... :copyka:

Stationing herself before the mirror once more, she stared herself down.

“Once we land, I need the two of you to shut down the cable cars. Understand?”

“Yes, Commander Shelly!”

Maressa looked out the window of Team Aqua’s navy blue helicopter as the rocks and crags of Mt. Chimney passed rapidly beneath, the ground sloping upward to meet their descent. Her heart pounded furiously with excitement—this was it!

“Golduck! Golduck, look—see that red helicopter? Think that’s Team Magma?”

Sure enough, a red helicopter had already landed on Mt. Chimney—Maressa thought she could see people gathered nearby it.
Huh, I wonder if she joins team Magma instead? That would be quite the twist, if so! :eyes:

Golduck stood next to her, peering out the window. He didn’t say anything, but Maressa knew he was excited—he thrived off of fighting, and the prospect of a big battle sent adrenaline coursing through both of their veins.

As their helicopter slowed, Maressa tuned around. Several other Team Aqua members stood inside, waiting with anticipation for the mission that lay before them. Seeing a lanky man with a tuft of brown hair, Maressa sidled over to him.
It's a good thing team Magma doesn't shoot down their helicopter killing everyone inside. It's evil team vs hated other evil team. It probably wouldn't be too big of a stretch. Not sure I would feel safe riding a helicopter near them if I were in her shoes. :copyka:

“Hey, Mark, how come Shelly wants us to turn off the cable cars?”

The older grunt looked down at her and flashed a quick smile. “Still new to this, huh? Turning off the cable cars will prevent civilians from getting caught up in our mess with Team Magma—it’ll also prevent anyone from interfering. Our mission won’t take long, and the cable cars will be back up within a few hours.”

Maressa nodded. “Makes sense to me!”
A useful tidbit for curious readers. Also, did you know that Mark is the canon name for the protagonist of the first Pokemon TCG?

She looked back out the window, practically bouncing with excitement. “Golduck, can you imagine how Mt. Chimney will look once it’s made dormant? Maybe it’ll turn into a crater lake! Those are so beautiful—I’ve never seen one, though, but I heard they’re really neat, unique ecosystems!”
Ok, she has a point there. That sounds pretty picturesque. :eyes:

Mark looked out the window next to Maressa. “That’s the goal! By stopping Mt. Chimney, we won’t only prevent catastrophic lava flows, but it can become a fresh new environment for all sorts of Pokemon, and not just Water-types.”
Yeah, those lava flows are not good for people. Very destructive.

“Mark.”

“Yes, Commander Shelly?”

Shelly walked over to him, her blue-gloved hands resting on her hips. “You’re in Squad B to stop the cars. You know what you need to do? And is your Crawdaunt ready?”

Mark pulled a Pokeball out of his pocket. “He sure is!”

Shelly nodded curtly. She glanced at Maressa and her eyes gravitated towards Golduck—for a split second, Maressa saw disdain shine behind her red irises. Shelly said nothing and turned away—

But if there was something about Golduck, Maressa wanted to know.

“Is something wrong?”

Shelly turned around and looked at Golduck again. “Is he normally out of his Pokeball?”

“Sometimes—he likes to hang outside with me when he can. Is that a problem?”

“Not in itself, no. But look around—this helicopter only has space for our team. We can’t all bring out Pokemon out—what if I wanted my Ludicolo? He would practically fill the center cabin.” Her red eyes glanced at Maressa. “In short, it’s not a problem—but in the future, I’d like you to think about the limit of space and ask for permission.”
Daaang. Rude! I get what she is saying, but this isn't going to be earning her any favors with Maressa... 😅

Maressa said nothing; she watched in stony silence as Shelly turned around and called for the team to prepare to disembark. Maressa’s blood boiled—Shelly wanted her to ask permission just to have her Pokemon out? What kind of a crazy rule was that? Did she even think about what Golduck wanted?
Oh dear, even angrier than I thought! Shelly done screwed up! :wowzard:

Mark noticed her sour mood.

“Maressa, you need to calm down. Shelly’s just saying what she thinks is the most reasonable—”

THUD!

The helicopter touched down—Maressa lost her balance and fell back on the wall behind her and bumped her head. She clutched it, grimacing as she heard Shelly’s voice ring out.

“Team Aqua, let’s move out!”

“Yes!”
Go time.

The sea of blue bandannas followed Shelly out of the helicopter—Maressa’s anger washed away and excitement filled her as she joined the group, descending the metal gangplank and gathering together out in the open air.

She blinked her eyes at the harshness of the sun—there were no trees or cloud cover to protect them from the blinding rays. The solar rays baked the rocks they stood on, filling the air with warm heat. At the very least, a cool mountain breeze sang through the air, offering a small degree of respite. Above their heads, a grey cloud rose from the volcanic crater as a testament to its life and activity.

Maressa’s heart jumped in her throat what she saw them—a swam of horned, red hoodies gathered before Team Aqua. Between the two teams, a bespectacled man clutched a porous rock to his chest as he anxiously glanced back-and-forth between them.

Team Magma members were gathered in a semicircle around the man; a lone team member stood on a rocky shelf above the others, surveying Team Aqua with impatience. A pair of white stripes gripped his pant legs in distinguishing his rank above the rest.
This should be interesting. :eyes: I'm very curious how you handle mon battles and I'd be pretty surprised if there wasn't going to be any here.

“B Squad, secure the cable cars!” Shelly announced.

“Right!”

Maressa watched Mark and another member take off at a jog towards a small building connected to large cables. She wished Mark could have stayed—he had been very patient and helpful with showing her the ropes, so far.
Ah... Yeah, she likes Mark. Maybe not romantically, but he was nice to her.

“What are you doing here, Team Aqua?” the Magma Commander called.

“Oh, Field Commander Tabitha, we’re just out here looking for some meteorites, and that nice man there is going to give his to us.”

Shelly’s voice was much less assertive when speaking to her enemies—it was still haughty, but Maressa noticed the playful, teasing quality it held. She frowned. This was how Shelly spoke to the people who wanted to destroy Team Aqua?

“The altitude is affecting your brain,” he sneered.

“Well, would you like to settle this the old-fashioned way, then?” Shelly asked as she took out a Pokeball. Several grunts on both teams took out Pokeballs, too, and Golduck started to crawl forward—
Lets see what the little gremlin duck can do! :eyes:

“Commander, the meteorite!”

All heads jerked to a Team Magma grunt pointing at the scientist, who was making a getaway through the rocky crags and hills that jutted out on Mt. Chimney—and for someone his age, he was fast.
This bit made me laugh!! :mewlulz:

“Squad One, go after him!” the Magma Commander announced.

“You four—” Shelly pointed to the people on her right—“after him! We’ll take care of things here. Go, Crawdaunt, Walrein!”

At her command, the rocky area filled with bright blue pinnipeds and dark red crustaceans.
I still wonder how Sharpedo's are supposed to battle on land... :unquag: Granted, it sounds like they are not using those here. But in the games they sure do! (At least I think they did...?)

“Go, Mightyena, Golbat!”

Maressa’s heart sank when she saw the matchup—Crawdaunt and Walrein were technically stronger Pokemon, and Walrein had a type advantage over Golbat—but the terrain was completely disadvantageous for Team Aqua.
I'm glad you take into account things like terrain.

Golbat and Mightyena were fast—Crawdaunt were laughably slow, and Walrein were practically immobile. She prayed that their defenses were high enough to last them.

“Crawdaunt, bubble beam! Walrein, water gun!”

“Golbat, air cutter and Mightyena, hyper beam!”
Wow that's looking pretty intense, especially with something like hyper beam! :eyes:

Commanders and grunts shouted commands for their Pokemon and it all quickly dissolved into chaos. Maressa was grateful to see that Golduck was agile enough to dodge the attacks—he hid under a jutting rocky overhang, the red jewel on his forehead glinting as he spied his attackers.

A few Golbat shrieked in frustration as their attacks bounced uselessly off the rock.

“After him!” the Team Magma grunt across Maressa shouted. “Drive him out of there with poison fang!”

The Golbat swooped low and headed straight for Golduck as he crouched beneath the rock overhang.

“Now!” Maressa shouted.

Once the Golbat were within Golduck’s sight, his eyes glowed purple and lances of psychic energy pelted towards the incoming Golbat. The Poison-types screeched as they reeled back in pain before falling to the ground.
Ooo! That would make them pretty easy to hit! Nice tactic! :eyes:

“Great job!” Maressa shouted as the Team Magma grunt recalled his unconscious Golbat. “Let’s go help the others!”

Golduck joined her as they ran over the rocks and crags. Maressa ran up next to a Team Aqua member she didn’t know while Golduck went over to his Walrein. Her teammate’s forehead was wet with sweat—from the heat or stress, Maressa wasn’t sure, but she was willing to bet it was a combination of both.

Maressa surveyed the situation: the Team Magma grunt’s Mightyena was running circles around Walrein and evading all of the Water-type’s attacks.

“Golduck will hold Mightyena still and your Walrein can take him out. Sound good?”

Her teammate glanced at her and nodded.

“Golduck, fight the Mightyena in close combat!”

“Mightyena, use crunch!”

Golduck and the Mightyena tackled each other furiously. Golduck wrapped his arms around the Dark-type’s neck. The Mightyena sank her jaws into Golduck’s side, but she soon let go and was gasping for air.
I love the tactics and teamwork you are using here! Also, it seems like Golduck took damage, but probably not too much since Mightyena let go so fast.

“Walrein, use sheer cold!”

The canine looked up in terror as the Walrein flopped over to her. Ice coated the Walrein’s tusks. The temperature plummeted; the air shimmered. Once he reached the Mightyena—who was squealing and desperately trying to get out of Golduck’s grasp—the Walrein brought his tusks down on her side. Lances of ice seared through the Dark-type’s body and coated her with frost—she stopped moving.
OOOH! That was brutal! :wowzard:

“Great job, you two!” Maressa called. “Come on, Golduck, let’s go help the others!”

Maressa and Golduck helped out other Team Aqua members with whatever they needed—Golduck pinned down Golbat while Crawdaunt clubbed them unconscious and he baited Mightyena so Walrein and Sealeo could shoot them down with water and ice attacks.

The team members that Maressa aided joined her and Golduck as they took on more Team Magma grunts. Eventually, Maressa saw that she was very near to Shelly, who was still engaged in battle with the Team Magma commander.
Niice! You also seem to know when it is better to summarize some battles vs acting out each and every one! :okgon:

And I love how she helped to turn the tide of battle in Aqua's favor. It's also really cool that you can root for Aqua since they are fighting another evil team!

“Go, Ludicolo!”

Maressa stared in awe at the massive, yellow-husked Pokemon dominating the center of the battlefield. She hung back—she had never seen Shelly’s Ludicolo battle before! And this might be a good opportunity to let Golduck rest.

Shelly glanced back and saw the group of Team Aqua members hanging around her.

“Don’t just stand there! Talk with Mark and help him get the meteorite!”

Maressa had no headset and had no way to get in touch with Mark—should she have followed the rest of the squad and helped them out anyway? Maybe… But after being in the thick of battle, she didn’t want to give it up and go scavenging with the rest of them.

“Nature power!”

The air around Ludicolo shimmered—rocks ripped up from the ground and he hurled them in the air. Several Golbat squeaked as the rocks bruised their frail bodies and pinned down their thin wings.

But several Golbat still glided through the air untouched.

“Stun spore!”

Clouds of yellow spores puffed from the center of Ludicolo’s lily pad—dust filled the air and flew along in the breeze—Maressa covered her mouth and nose with her shirt.

She wasn’t convinced using stun spore out in the open was a good idea—but Ludicolo was doing damage! Golbat dropped out of the sky and fell flat on the rocks, clearing the air.

“Hyper beam!”

Maressa jerked her head as a beam—a really bright beam—of orange energy shot from a Mightyena’s mouth. The beam pulverized rocks and hit Ludicolo square in his back. The Grass-type flew face-first into the rock—smoke curled from a circular singe in his husk.
Looks like Shelly is taking on more than she can handle. Could this be the chance Maressa needs to prove herself? :eyes:

But given how things will be going, I wonder if this will backfire and cause a falling out between her, Shelly, and Aqua?

Lowering her shirt, Maressa stared at the Mightyena in awe—that hyper beam was much more powerful than the other ones she had seen so far, and the Mightyena looked larger, more feral—his fur was matted, and every time he opened his mouth, the size of his fangs filled Maressa with primal fear.
Must be one from one of the leaders.

Mightyena pounced from his perch next to the Magma Commander and ducked into a shadow—and vanished. He reemerged from another shadow at the far side of the field—on the other side of Ludicolo.

“Ludicolo, behind!”

Shelly was too late—Ludicolo turned just in time to receive a face-full of shadow ball. He was blasted onto his back, panting as he rolled over and stood up.

Maressa watched the two fight: Ludicolo shot any sort of attack that came to mind—bullet seeds, leech sides, bursts of water, different powders… But Mightyena ducked in and out of the shadows as if they were portals, always keeping out of Ludicolo’s reach. The canine snarled, ducked into a shadow—and reemerged laughing from another one.

Veins stuck out in Ludicolo’s bloodshot eyes—it attacked with renewed vigor—it stopped using powder attacks entirely and only did what directly dealt damage—it smacked with its fists down on rocks, crushing them until its knuckles bled and its arms were bruised, always missing Mightyena.
Seems like quite the foe... :eyes:

“You see what’s going on, Golduck?”

Golduck nodded as he watched Mightyena dance in circles around the enraged Ludicolo, the canine laughing all the while. He and Maressa knew that Ludicolo’s time was almost up.

“Watch for the shadows—remember the tactics you use when you fight Sharpedo. Don’t let Mightyena get to your head, either—if he starts taunting or tormenting you, try to block him out.”

Golduck nodded again.

“Now, get in there!”
This will be pretty cool if it works! :eyes:

Ludicolo had been reduced to a screaming mess—he was running into random rocks, missing Mightyena entirely and only hurting himself. Bits of rock and rubble clung to his scraped and bruised forehead; the yellow husk encasing his body was broken in several areas. His knuckles bled from constantly pounding them into bare rock. Maressa knew that Shelly would either have to recall him or watch him faint.

As Mightyena yipped and laughed from a hiding spot, Golduck blasted him squarely in the back with a jet of water.

“Arrf!”

Mightyena squealed and turned around—baring his massive white fangs at Golduck as water dripped down his back.

“Mightyena, incapacitate him!”
No input from Shelly on this? 🤨

“Golduck, get rid of the shadows!”

Mightyena ducked into a shadow—Golduck promptly fired psychic beams at the closest jutting rocks, leveling the battle field and exposing it to the sunlight.

Maressa waited with anticipation—she knew the Mightyena had to come out somewhere—

There! Several meters away from Golduck, Mightyena slunk out of a rocky precipice. He trod in a circle around Golduck, softly yipping. Golduck cupped his webbed hands over his ear holes, his eyes following Mightyena all the while.

Her mind ran a mile a minute—the battlefield was wide open, which was good, as Mightyena could no longer duck in-and-out of shadows and needed to stand on open ground. But that also meant that Golduck was stuck in direct sunlight and hot, dry air.
Ooo! The anticipation builds! :eyes:

Maressa bit her lip. Psychic attacks were useless, and if Golduck expended water, he’d only wear out more quickly. That left one option:

“Golduck, meet him in close combat!"

“Mightyena, shadow ball!”

Golduck raced on all fours, dodging balls of dark ethereal energy as he hurtled into his opponent. Mightyena squealed as Golduck swiped at him with his claws, ripping up his fur and carving thin red lines into his skin.

“Crunch!”

Tendrils of dark energy swarmed around Mightyena’s jaws—he lunged and sank his fangs into Golduck’s arm.

“Screech!”

A high-pitched shriek emanated from Golduck’s bill—Mightyena jerked his head away from the auditory onslaught.

“Get back and use sand attack!”

“Keep your distance!”

“Hyper beam!”

“Evade!”

Blood rushed in Maressa’s veins—her heart pounded—sweat poured out of every pore in her body—her muscles tensed, ready to jump from the cliff and run into the fight herself. Part of her wanted to—oh, she wanted to!
Even though part of this was reduced to one lines in dialogue, I was able to follow the action in my mind. Seems like she is going all out!

But Golduck was flagging—his movements grew slower, his jumps weren’t as far. Maressa’s heart twisted and she felt a twinge of guilt.

“Golduck, come here for a moment!”

“Mightyena, regroup.”

The two Pokemon rejoined their trainers. Maressa’s heart panged when she saw how tired Golduck was: dust coated his blue skin, which had turned from slimy to sticky under the noonday sun. He blinked several times, his bill hanging open as he took rasping breaths.

“Oh, poor dude—here, have some water.”
Dang, that took some toll on Golduck. It seems terrain will play an important part of the battles in this fic.

Maressa took a water bottle out of her pocket and poured the whole thing down Golduck’s bill. He swallowed, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply.

“How are you holding up?”

Shrug.

“Do you want to go back into your Pokeball?”

Vehement shaking of his head—no! He’d much rather finish the fight. He could win—he would win!

Maressa sighed as reluctance settled deeper into the pit of her stomach.

“Golduck.”

He cocked his head.

“I hate seeing you get hurt.”

He opened his eyes wide—he didn’t often hear Maressa say something so sappy. He held her hand and quacked. He didn’t blame her for his injuries—someone had to fight this battle, and he was happy to do it. He would do it for her.
Well that was completely endearing. 🥰

Maressa squeezed his hand. “You really are good to me.” Raising her eyes, she saw the Magma Commander crouching before his Mightyena, holding the Dark-type’s face in his hands and speaking softly to him.

The Magma Commander turned his head and met Maressa’s eyes. He stood up. “Are you ready to quit?”

“Never!”

Maressa leapt to her feet, her hands balled into fists, the blood boiling in her veins again as adrenaline coursed through her body.

“Golduck, let’s finish this!”

Quack!
Shelly seems to be oddly quiet during this whole thing.

Not sure how this second bout will go. I get the feeling Golduck is more worn down than the opponent...

The Magma Commander calmly stood up and the Mightyena leapt down from his ledge to be on even footing with Golduck.

She knew it was a gamble—but the battle needed to end, and this was their best shot!

“Hydro pump!”

“Hyper beam!”
Going all out right away! :wowzard:

Both Pokemon inhaled deeply—a burst of hyper-pressurized water blasted from Golduck’s bill. Bright orange light shone from Mightyena’s jaws and shot forward.

White water crashed into the orange beam—the heat from hyper beam evaporated the water, filling the battlefield with mist. A high-pitched ring sang through the air as energy collided with water.

“Golduck, keep it up!”

“Harder, Mightyena!”
Yeah! It's an old fashion DBZ beam struggle! :veelove:

Golduck was on all fours—leaning forward, his feet staggered to brace himself. Loud hissing filled the air—the cloud of mist thickened—a high-pitched whistle grew ever louder—

And Golduck’s strength failed him. The burst of water died—the hyper beam sailed forward, its light throwing Golduck’s face into sharp relief, highlighting the terror in his eyes as his bill hung open.

The beam slammed into Golduck—he soared through the air before being pummeled into the ground as Mightyena’s hyper beam pushed him into the rock—
Ah, ok yeah. This duck is done. :copyka:

Then the light died, and Maressa saw Golduck’s form crumpled into the recess.

“GOLDUCK!”

She jumped off the ledge and raced toward her fallen companion—her heart pounded furiously—fear and terror overwhelmed her—her eyes stung with tears—
Don't tell me that savage freaking killed her mon! Then again, this is evil team vs evil team! ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! :wowzard:

No, no, no, no, no

Mightyena raced forward—he reached Golduck first, grabbed the blue head in his jaws and shook him.

“Get away from him!” Maressa screamed. She flew forward as quickly as she could—she had to—she needed to—she needed Golduck to be okay—that was all that mattered—

Mightyena let go of Golduck’s head and growled at Maressa—someone whistled and the canine retreated, forgetting about her entirely.

Maressa sprinted forward and dropped to her knees once she reached Golduck.

“Golduck? Golduck, I’m here—I’m here—it’s going to be okay…”

She reached down and picked Golduck up with shaking hands, laying him in her lap. She watched his chest slowly rise and fall. His body was covered with dirt and scratches; blood oozed from several cuts; he was so dry—he had never been this dry. Maressa tried to pick out the rocks stuck to his body—but guilt constantly washed over her, filling her and welling up in tears in her eyelids and rendering her shaking hands useless.

“Golduck?”

No response.

Closing her eyes, she laid her forehead against his own. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry.”
What an incredibly somber moment. :sadwott:

She opened her eyes and gazed through the blur, grimacing as her throat tightened—she felt totally helpless as she gazed at Golduck’s unmoving form. All she wanted was for him to be okay, to say something, to do something—to let her know that he was all right and would recover quickly.

A shadow fell. The horned silhouette of a hoodie stood above her, the sun faming him like a halo. The Team Magma Commander looked down at her with his dark eyes, a small smile on his face.
Lovely. :copyka:

Maressa immediately whipped out Golduck’s Pokeball and withdrew him. She leapt to her feet—and wheeled around as she heard a growl.

Mightyena stood behind her—Maressa shrank back when she saw him bare his enormous fangs and snarl. His fur was matted with blood and caked with dust. He breathed haggardly, his tongue hanging out.

“Don’t worry.”

Maressa turned around. The Magma Commander stood before her with his arms crossed, the small smile still on his face. His voice was surprisingly soft but full of confidence.

“He won’t attack you—unless I tell him to. Well done, by the way.” His eyes shone with approval. “That was an excellent battle. We haven’t fought that hard in over a year.”
Ok what's this guy's angle? Magma hates Aqua...

And where the HECK is Shelly? Don't tell me she only had ONE mon to battle with! :unquag:

Maressa was stunned—her mouth was dry and couldn’t form any words—not that she could think of any. Stuck between the Magma Commander and Mightyena, she felt horribly helpless. She didn’t want to look at the Commander—but she didn’t want to look at the angry Mightyena, either.

She tensed as the Magma Commander stepped closer to her—but another snarl from Mightyena prevented her from moving. She watched the Commander walk up to her, her heart stuck in her throat, completely frozen beneath the harsh sun.

“What’s your name?”

Maressa could only stare at him as sweat poured from her forehead and her heart beat heavily with fear and dread. The Magma Commander continued to survey her with his calculating gaze.

“I haven’t seen you before. Are you new? Or just new to fighting missions? I can tell you’re not new to battling—not after seeing you and your Golduck together.”
This guy is after something but at least he isn't after her death or Maressa would already be a goner! :copyka:

He stood at only an arm’s length from her—she desperately wanted to get away. She had no Pokemon; she didn’t think she could take him in on a fist fight (not that she wanted to try). But she couldn’t do anything.

What was he going to do to her?
I wonder if he is going to take her hostage? If he does, then I'm guessing Aqua will consider her an expendable casualty and proceed with their plans anyway. Either that or they will save her but then viciously blame her for it. Either option will be pretty awful for Maressa!

Loud hissing filled the air—the three of them turned their heads. A steady stream of smoke that had constantly issued from the peak of the volcano died down, leaving empty air in its wake. Maressa stared uncomprehendingly at the dissipating cloud.

“Flame One here, report. Where are you?”

The Commander sounded calm as he spoke into his headset but Maressa shuddered when she saw the anger and loathing shine behind his black eyes.

The Commander’s gaze switched from where the cloud had dissipated to Maressa, and her heart sank as she bore the weight of his calm fury.

“Round up all the Pokemon and report back to the helicopter immediately,” he said, his gaze still on Maressa.

“Well done,” he told her, but his voice was no longer coy—there was a fury hiding behind the calmness of his voice. “I see you don’t have a headset. Your team just got the meteorite and cooled off Mt. Chimney.”
So Aqua won.

Under his angry gaze, Maressa couldn’t feel happy about the good news.

“And seeing as you have no Pokemon left, I could take you with us now…”

His gaze turned calculating and thoughtful once more as he cocked his head.

Maressa’s heart skipped a beat—

Take me with them?

No, no, no, no, no—that couldn’t happen—did that ever really happen?

Before she could say anything, the Commander straightened up, took out a Pokeball, and withdrew his Mightyena.

“I don’t have time,” he said. “And you’ve earned your freedom today. Go back to your team—but you should reconsider being with Team Aqua. They might be a team for Water-type Pokemon, but there’s nobody on that team who can coach you in battling the way we could.”
Huh. So it gives her an easy out if she wanted to join a different team. I wonder if that is what she will do? And if she does, I wonder what that would be like?

Without another word, he turned and hurried off. Maressa stared after him, finally feeling a trickle of relief amidst the sea of dread in her heart.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Beep.

The heart monitor dully sounded as the lone voice in the room. All the patients slept soundly in their beds. A few groggily blinked their eyes before returning to heavy sleep. Nearly every patient was hooked up to an IV tube, the multitude of which formed a plastic jungle. A nurse walked around, checking tubes, administering food, and adjusting pillows to make the patients more comfortable.

Maressa clasped her hands and hunched over. It seemed that the Magma commander had been right: while she and Golduck were fighting, her team left, secured the meteorite from the scientist, and put Mt. Chimney to sleep for good. Though Shelly ordered the team to get back to work when they returned, most of the squadron put together a party. Maressa had walked into the grunt’s lounge, looking for Sarah to ask if she could borrow a pair of gloves and instead found people celebrating their successful mission.

Maressa couldn’t stay. She couldn’t celebrate—she had half-hoped that, in finding Sarah, she could have someone to talk with. Someone to talk to about Golduck’s injuries, about how guilty she felt for letting him get hurt—not just allowing it to happen, but for enabling it.

But when she saw Sarah and Cloe celebrating with the rest, she couldn’t pluck up the nerve to take them out of the celebration. Golduck’s injuries were her fault—no point in putting the burden on anyone else.
Maybe so, but it also isolates her. I could see this thing weighing pretty heavily on her.

A Walrein behind her let loose a deep sigh as it rolled over. Though Maressa loved her teammates, she couldn’t feel justified in celebrating with them. Their mission worked out but her battle was a disaster. She succeeded in holding Team Magma off but every time she looked at Golduck’s damaged form, the word “success” didn’t seem right.

The guilt didn’t go away. The longer she sat with Golduck, the more her eyes rested on his various cuts, scrapes and bruises; on the IV tubes hooked up to him; and on his exhausted frame, the worse she felt.
Aww... I feel bad for Shelly. :sadwott: Golduck too, but more for Shelly.

How could she not feel like a horrible human being? She considered Golduck her best friend—he was her best friend—and because of her, he was laying on a hospital bed.
I guess they can't use Pokemon centers because they are an evil team. That's rough. :sadwott:

She checked her watch; she had been sitting there for nearly two hours. Her stomach rumbled but she wasn’t in the mood to eat. The nurse said that Golduck just needed to re-hydrate and rest for a few days but Maressa didn’t want to leave him until she saw in full health.
Her bond with Golduck is touching. Poor Maressa. :sadbees:

But a nurse? So she is in a Pokemon center? Still doesn't seem likely, but I'm not sure.

Rubbing her temples, she groaned when she thought of the next assignment she had been given. She glanced up at Golduck, wishing she could stay with him, but she was due to move out in two days and he needed more time than that to recover.

“You did an excellent job,” Shelly told Maressa when they had returned to the helicopter. Maressa was still shaken from her encounter with the Team Magma Commander. “I understand your Golduck lost, but you really pulled through with helping me and Ludicolo. There’s a group going diving to research ruins soon—you can take your other Pokemon and help them out!”
Where the crap were YOU when things went down, Shelly? HUH?! :screm:

Maressa sighed when she thought back to Shelly, her eyes shining with pride—and thinking of it did make Maressa feel better about herself, at least a little. But even that didn’t bridge the river of guilt that coursed through her heart.

She reached over and touched Golduck’s webbed hand. The bandages wound around his arm covered the needle connecting to an IV tube. His body was marred with slashes and scrapes.
Ok, we get it with the slashes and the scrapes!

At her touch, he opened his eyes slightly, gave a grateful nod and then closed them again.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

He gave her a quizzical look.

“This was my fault. I knew you were exhausted, and I had you use hydro pump.”

Golduck shook his head slightly—he didn’t hold her to any blame.
Aww... Golduck is best duck. Number one duck award, right here! 🥹

Still unhappy, Maressa took her hand away while Golduck closed his eyes again and returned to sleep.

She thought back to the mission overall: none of her teammates had gotten hurt, which was a huge positive. And with Mt. Chimney cooling off, the crater should fill with water and become a lake at some point—a new ecosystem, one that gave life. Not one that belched out smoke, toxins and lead to death and ruin.
Makes sense.

Maressa twisted her hands as she recalled her conversation with the Team Magma Commander.

Would he really have taken me?

Did teams capture each other? She supposed it was possible—but she was still so new at this. And what would they do with each other? Get information? Trade them for… For what?
She seems curious even though it scares her.

Burying her head in her hands, she groaned. There was still so much about Team Aqua that she didn’t know—so much that she wanted to know and learn, but she was still so green and things were already happening so fast.

There’s no one on Team Aqua who can coach you in battling the way we can.

Anger sparked in Maressa’s heart—the Team Magma Commander was not better at Pokemon battling than she was. The terrain allowed him to win—Golduck was at a disadvantage. If there had been water nearby, Maressa’s Pokemon would have totally wiped him out.
That does seem possible.

“Why does he think he would be able to teach us anything? I bet he’s never worked with a Water-type in his life!” she fumed. “And telling me that I ‘earned’ my freedom—he’s not our boss! Why does he think he can say that?”

She looked over at Golduck, blood still boiling in her veins. Why would a Team Magma member want her with them? Team Aqua strove for oceanic conservation and Water-type preservation—Team Magma wanted to destroy that! They didn’t care for or understand Water-types—did they? No, they had tried making an active volcano erupt. How was that supposed to be good for anyone? They weren’t just trying to make more land—they were trying to destroy what was already there!

As her stomach clenched with pangs of hunger, she stood up, giving Golduck one last glance.

“Don’t worry, boy,” she whispered softly. Golduck lay unmoving, eyes still closed.

“One day, we’ll make this right.”
Interesting! It seems from this that she might join Magma later. That means we would still see things from the interesting perspective of being on an evil team and it would lead her to clash with Aqua later too!

Closing thought:
Fantastic chapter! :veelove: I did have some minor gripes, but overall, I'm feeling very invested in both Maressa and Golduck and am SUPER curious where things will go from here! :wowzard:I also thought you did a nice job with battles, cutting down on detail in some places where you could, while focusing on the more important bits of it.

I'd like to read more of this, but as with all fics, I need an excuse. Even though I have some exchanges already going on, I might like to squeeze you in too because I really like your fic! If you are interested, just let me know. Alternatively, if you leave another review for me, that will likely motivate me to return and review your next chapter.
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Premium
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
  9. porygon
  10. giratina-origin
  11. houndoom
deep roar sounded from overhead. Steven looked up; the sunlight dimmed, and the black clouds dissolved. White celestial light cascaded from the heavens, and in that light shone a green serpentine form.

Steven’s heart soared and he laughed out loud—

Rayquaza is here.
HOORAY
Rayquaza’s roars turned to screams as it crashed into the cliffsides, bruised and bleeding.
OH NO

I have to say that while this was big "oh no" and sad/scary I also laughed a little at the mental image of "We're saved, Rayquaza is here" and the immediately whiplash of BLAM rayquaza is "dead".
If she looked outside, she needed to look up to where sunlight shone through the surface. If she looked down, into the blackness below them, her knees grew weak and she felt dizzy.

A jet of bubbles shot past her neck as her tank dragged her down. Saltwater flooded her mouth and lungs. Her chest screamed in pain. Colors popped behind her eyes as the darkness pressed in.
The descriptions of Maressa's trauma and panic response here are absolutely juicy and heartbreaking.
She was ugly.
This line just hits so hard. Its the worst feeling ever the certainty she feels about this is so awful.
Getting up, she walked over to meet him. His walk quickly turned into a run, and he took her in his arms and gave her a big hug.
She needs so many hugs im glad she's getting at least one hug, poor girl
Thank you for telling me everything.
I'm glad Derek was so nice to her and didn't get angry :(. He's a really good guy.
For Claydol,” he said at last.

“For Claydol,” Maressa agreed.
FOR FRODOOO!!!!

Also I love how much they all love Claydol, Claydol is the best
What’s wrong with me?
Well if you want the short list, dear, you've been through multiple incredibly traumatic incidents and betrayal and horrible stuff so. There's nothing wrong with you babe you're just getting a serious case of 'torment the main character' syndrome and this is normal reaction :copyka:
Breloom scooped her up and carried her down the hall, opened a side door, dropped her unceremoniously inside, and came back looking extremely pleased with himself.
This mental image is soooo funny to me lol
Tabitha likewise dismissed the Team Magma underlings, and soon the hall was empty except for the four humans and five Pokemon.
I actually seriously forget why there were both teams here? This isn't you fault or the story fault btw I've just not read it in almost a year so everything is fuzzy. I think they started to work together near the end?
Maressa,” Tabitha sighed. “You know what kind of a person Matt is. People like him shouldn’t be allowed to live. It’s best if I kill him here and now.”
ngl I lowkey think Tabitha is right Maressa...
You’re not strong enough to protect her!” Tabitha exploded. His eyes blazed with a dark fire and his nostrils flared.
And you're doing such a good job?
Stop defending him, Maressa! Think of where he got you! He abandoned you twice and has been too weak to protect you when you needed it most! He can’t do anything for you, so stop defending him!
At first I was confused about this but I think some of the reveals in future chapters made it clear, and I think its pretty interesting. But also shut up Tabitha, Derek is stronger than you were here. At least he had the guts to stand up for something.

Also I love me some "protect the person you care about with your body" and it was great. I wish maybe the 'moment' could have lasted a sentence or two longer but it was still good.
The Magma commander’s eyes were wide and his mouth hung open. The corners of his mouth were pulled back slightly—he looked like he was in pain.

The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds. Eventually Tabitha weakly waved a hand.

“Go…”
This is not your or the stories fault but man I was confused here at first hah. My memory of everything specific earlier in the fic is so fuzzy so I was like, "why did he change his mind?? He was beating the snot out of him 5 seconds ago. I actually struggle for a half second following his motivation - first he kidnaps Claydol to maybe lure Derek there(?), then he wanted Derek to leave, then he wanted to beat Derek up, then he turned and helped them instead?

The future revelations ofc I think make this make sense. As I understand, I expect he lashed out at Derek because he saw Derek as similar to other mentors/his father and then was jarred out of that by Maressa's action in protecting him. And probably stole Claydol at the time out of a mix of spite and practicality to help Magma. (if any of this is wrong or off base though its likely more a fault of my bad memory than the story.

Tabitha was never completely bad and he did always stick up for the weaker or more vulnerable members of Magma, so this also makes some sense.
As Maressa watched, the wind picked up in the east and storm clouds boiled in the sky, while sunlight blazed in the west.
:unquag: Oh boy this is shaping up and going very badly....
Lanturn’s heart was heavy
LANTURN POV YAY!!!
crustose coralline coatings.
This entire description is v good but this line in particular is very fun to say, heh. say that three times fast
They know what they’re doing…” She rubbed her arms, and Steven saw crimson rope-like scars peek from beneath her sleeves.
Okay my memory is abysmal but this is juicy implications if they didn't show this onscreen before. I guess Winona was tortured too by Aqua.
Tabitha didn’t usually ride Mightyena
you can RIDE mightyena??? The games have been depriving me. I honestly never would have thought of this working physically but I'll take it.
CAVE OF ORIGIN… HERE LIES HOENN’S BLOOD-STAINED HISTORY OF GREED AND HATRED…
incredibly spooky and disturbing. I love this lore for Hoenn you've made up. I'm always allergic to making up my own lore but I love how you've incorporated these themes and mystical elements into this region with its ancient god titans, its very fitting.
Maxie was gone
:unquag: welp, thats that I guess
No, the official Hoenn legend says
Honey I hate to break this to you but usually "official legends" are at least a little untrue
Look around you! Soon, we won’t have anything more to lose! And do I need to remind you where your judgement got us in the past? So, please, hold your tongue and let me lead!”
ohohoho spicy. Not wrong either, not entirely.
As he gazed at the two men, it suddenly struck him how he had turned out to be nothing like them.
Ooof ouch, nothing like realizing you've become the exact kind of person you dont want to be.
Tabitha’s heart faltered as he gazed at the images of her. Maressa had protected a man weaker than himself—a man more like Tabitha’s father. A man who, despite not being a capable fighter, did not back away when he was scared or knew he was at a disadvantage.
Ahhhh Okay this anime reveal of his tragic backstory is good stuff, and definitely cleared up my confusion over his abrupt change of heart.
She couldn’t scream—she could barely cough as Matt lifted her up as if she was a rag doll, slung her over a shoulder, and carried her.
Oh geeez no this girl CANNOT catch a break my gosh
“I saved your life!” she shouted. “I stopped Tabitha from killing you, and this is what you do to me?”
THIS is why we kill ppl maressa /hj
Derek slowly drank the bottle of Miltank milk that Breloom gave him. He felt energy return along with a strange itchy feeling. He knew it was his skin piecing itself back together.
whooaaa dang that Miltank milk is strong in this world. Nice. Maybe give Rayquaza some of that
The blood in Derek’s veins ran cold. He looked into Steven’s slate-grey eyes that stared blankly at the sky. Derek heard a loud rumble: Steven’s Metagross crying aloud in agony.
o-o-h.... :cry:
Drake voiced aloud the thought on everybody’s mind: “Groudon stopped the earth’s rotation.”
welp we're all dead
Picking him up, Derek through the protesting Breloom bodily threw the air at the ice chunks.
im DYING om. YEET the Breloom

Also you swapped the 'through' and 'threw' here
a Lanturn jumped out of the water and flopped into him
RETURN OF LANTURN HOORAY
A gurgling shriek escaped Matt’s mouth as Sharpedo chomped down on Matt’s shoulder
shoulda bit his head. but you know what this works too. CHOMP. Die jerk
Golbat, I NEED YOU!”

Derek needed him—he was going to die—Golbat wasn’t fast enough! He strained his wings to their limit, his heart racing as he saw Derek get crushed—Derek was dying because Golbat was failing. Golbat had to get to him—he had to save him—the one who had done everything for him—he had to!

He wasn’t fast enough!
OMG OMG OMG PLS PLS
There were four of them!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

10/10 pure peak achieved, best fic ever hands down aaaaaaaa

I love this I love it I love crisis evolutions I'll never ever ever get sick of them

Courtney groaned and blinked her eyes. She might as well have kept them closed; it was too dark to see.
Oh she lives!!!

Heart full to bursting, Courtney laughed as she looked at herself—as she felt her markings—as she felt free.

“Ninetales—Ninetales, look! It’s—it’s like I’m normal again!” she laughed.
Awwww. I think she's still a bit deranged but I feel glad for her here, what a terrible burden to bear, I'm glad she's free.
“So… it worked,” Phoebe said. “The magic is gone.” She turned her head to look at the gem. “And soon the Cave will be, too.”

“Unless it gets another sacrifice,” Courtney said bitterly. Heart twisted into knots.

“Yeah.”
My bad memory again but I was kind of confused here? So I guess... the caveis dying because they broke the magic so it needs someone else to sustain it? Courtney's ritual was there to like, link her to the orbs in a bad way? But if Phoebe sacrifices herself that will be a positive, because without the Cave of Origin all life will actually die?
T light from the rock became Phoebe’s own
*the light?
She was like a goddess, standing head and shoulders out of the sea—but her head and shoulders were larger than that of any human. Her shoulders were large enough for Courtney to easily stand on. All color was washed from Phoebe and she radiated an ephemeral light. She gazed gently at Courtney and the Pokemon for a moment before closing her eyes and vanishing back into the waters.
WHOOOAAAA

Big Avatar vibes here, wow. This is crazy, I love magical inexplicable stuff like this? Reminds me of the manga. I guess Phoebe is a sea goddess now kind of ....
“Oh, right, you weren’t there. When you got rid of the magic that kept the Orbs—and me—indestructible, it caused a lot of damage to the Cave and it couldn’t sustain life anymore. So either Phoebe or I could choose to give up our life to maintain the Cave, and Phoebe decided that she would do it,” Courtney said with downcast eyes.
Ohhhh okay this helps
it was one of the most horrible sounds to Courtney’s ears. It was stilted, distorted, wordless whispering, like a person sleep-talking, or trying to speak but being unable to. It aroused memories of herself as a child, running through Mt. Pyre, trying to escape the Shuppet and their wordless chattering that followed her.
This description of how ghosts talk is super cool
Fight against the Ob,
*orb
Maxie let out a gargling roar, and warm liquid splashed around Tabitha. His vision cleared—

Courtney had leapt on Maxie’s back, her knife cutting into the flesh of her leader. Maxie kept screaming—a high-pitched, bloodcurling scream that raised all the hairs on Tabitha’s body. Courtney kept hacking away at him as he fell to the ground.
oh shoot oh man. this is so grisly and brutal (but fitting after all the blood thats been shed of much more innocent lives)
Courtney’s hands shook violently—then she balled them, slammed them on the ground and let out a wailing scream.
I do feel bad for her here though
Their horns were lowered, flattened against their necks;
... horns lowered? So they can like. Control the position of their horns like ears? (since they don't have ears?)
“But first, we need that Blue Orb.”
Lets uh. hope that getting the orb back from Maressa is better than getting it from Maxie :((
Man these were some intense four chapters. I lied I definitely didn't read 37 before so whew... Going back to get Claydol, and then the entire sequence with encountering Matt and Tabitha again, and Tabitha laying the beating on Matt (shoulda killed him smh).

I do sort of have a small hangup about the Tabitha scene but its hard to put my finger on and I don't believe I can give proper commentary on without having a proper memory of the previous 36 chaptes of this fic lol. That said, take this with a grain of salt but I will give it my best attept at a thought.

I think it makes sense that people can change or have a turn of heart for reasons unknown to other characters and even the audience, as the future POV stuff with Tabitha does clear up a lot. However I think the bit that catches me is Derek and Maressa's overall response to how the events played out? On one hand yes Maressa seems to be both naive and an idealist who wants to see the good in everyone, and Derek is a medic pacifist of sorts. And both have just been through a lot of terror and trauma.

But there felt like not enough of a clear sense of "Wait you're gonna help us now/let us go, Tabitha/what made you change?" from either of them toward Tabitha. Like they sort of just accepted it but even through internal monologue or actual dialogue it didn't feel like it was shocking enough to them from the guy who tried to beat the snot out of Derek not thirty seconds earlier.

Now I do want to stress I am veerrryyyy fuzzy at remembering the other events in the fic so its entirely possible I just forgot something key that would make the characters belief in Tabitha's change of heart make sense to them. So please feel free to ignore this comment.

Anyways moving past that comment we got a real rollercoaster ride of stress and trauma and a dash of horror too at that cave sequence. I really love spooky non-organic sort of nebulous forces of nature that nonetheless seem to possess some kind of awareness. All the cave of origin lore is mucho spicy and the atmosphere is great. A living cave of sorts is great. I am understanding that the line about losing ones life to refer to perhaps Tabitha needing to either make a sacrifice himself to help Rayquaza or something to do with the orbs? It wasn't quite clear to me but it did seem clear to him, so either I'm stupid and missed and implication or it's an exciting treat to be revealed later.

On another note, I thoroughly enjoyed Derek realizing Rayquaza is alive (though... none of you really thought to double check? Too much going on I guess hah) and then his medic skills coming into play to work on healing Rayquaza. Also I appreciate the details of the care going into helping the sky noodle. More specificity than simply "squirt a potion and be done" but actually trying to examine and evaluate. Definitely helps show of Derek's competance and skill.

Buuutttt Oh dear,Maressa is captured AGAIN (jeez louise this poor girl cannot catch asingle break) and now Archie is trying to use her. Archie is really really awful here and a huge coward. If you cant die for your goals what the point,jerk! >:{. I am glad though that other Aqua members proved they're not utterly heinous, since they wanted to actually stop Archie and save Maressa and have that bit of loyalty to her.

I also appreciate in general how everyone, from the league to the grunts to the commands, is characterized in these chapters. When faced with annihilation they realize this is not what they wanted and not how they wanted it. They're not chortling mustache twirling villains but real people caught up in something and are sometimes... dumb, heh, but certainly not evil. Some are either unaware or just dont fully realize what their actions have wrought but they do try to do the right thing in the end.

Speaking of, that was a really good thing Phoebe did. I hope it goes well for her and Courtney, in the sense that Phoebe's sacrifice will actually change Courtney. I feel so awful for her pokemon though. Truly in all of this its the trainers pokemon who are suffering the most in some ways. :(

Maxie's death was brutal and tragic but honestly I feel like after all the pain him and Archie have ultimately been complicit in causing... you reap what you sow. Also fitting that it be Courtney, infamously brutal Courtney who did it. Their reactions though were sad and I still feel bad for them ultimately. Does make me think of a dash of codepence happening in their relationship though? But not completely, as Maxie isn't like... vile and evil he's more of a guy willing to do terrible things to other people in service of his goal, but from what I remember his care for Tabitha and Courtney is actually genuine.

I really hope they're able to find Maressa quickly, its just bad things time all the way for these guys :(.

Absolutely fantastic fic though, full of juicy lore and angst and trauma and tension. I really hope I can actually finish it this year, hahah
 

Neon

Bug Catcher
Pronouns
She/Her
Hello! Dropping by for my Catnip review, and can I say what a wonderful premise? I didn't read the summary before starting the first chapter, but can I say when it clicked that this was from the perspective of a Team Aqua grunt I became really excited! Team Aqua and Team Magma are one of my favourite evil villains in Pokemon, so it was really nice reading how about much Maressa believes in their goal!

She looked back out the window, practically bouncing with excitement. “Golduck, can you imagine how Mt. Chimney will look once it’s made dormant? Maybe it’ll turn into a crater lake! Those are so beautiful—I’ve never seen one, though, but I heard they’re really neat, unique ecosystems!”

Mark looked out the window next to Maressa. “That’s the goal! By stopping Mt. Chimney, we won’t only prevent catastrophic lava flows, but it can become a fresh new environment for all sorts of Pokemon, and not just Water-types.”

This is the perfect example of that! How much Team Aqua (and Team Magma) believe they're helping Pokemon/people. They're both trying to make the world a better place and you can see how hard all of them are willing to work for it!
Maressa squeezed his hand. “You really are good to me.” Raising her eyes, she saw the Magma Commander crouching before his Mightyena, holding the Dark-type’s face in his hands and speaking softly to him.

I also really really like this. The parallels here are so good! They both call their Pokemon back when their getting tired and both of their Pokemon are willing to keep fighting for their trainers because there's love here, and that love is keeping all of them in this fight for longer. I adored the line about how Maressa wants to run in and fight herself. I'm not sure if it's to protect Golduck or because she's a little feral or a little bit of both, but it's just fun.

“He won’t attack you—unless I tell him to. Well done, by the way.” His eyes shone with approval. “That was an excellent battle. We haven’t fought that hard in over a year.”

I like this guy! Tabitha- pretty sure that's who this is- is awesome here!

And man, Maressa's guilt while everyone is celebrating is heartbreaking. She really does feel new; she's not blaming them for leaving or securing the Meteorite, she seems to understand logically that she had held off the Commander long enough for her team to win, but she's not happy. Her best friend is hurt and she's angry that Tabitha said the things he said. You really did emphasize Team Magma and Aqua being two side of the same coin, especially with this line.
Why would a Team Magma member want her with them? Team Aqua strove for oceanic conservation and Water-type preservation—Team Magma wanted to destroy that! They didn’t care for or understand Water-types—did they? No, they had tried making an active volcano erupt. How was that supposed to be good for anyone? They weren’t just trying to make more land—they were trying to destroy what was already there!

She knows what Team Magma is doing is bad. She's 100% right about why what they're doing is wrong; but in the same vein she fails to see how what her team is doing is just as unjust. A lake forming in Mt. Coronet won't actually be helpful. They don't need to conserve the ocean there. The fire, ground and rock Pokemon living up there will lose their homes. Good philosphies attached to horrible actions in the region where the wilderness thrives the most, how poetic.

I only got to chapter 2, but I loved what I read so far. The first 3 quarters of chapter 1 is admittedly pretty slow for my personal taste, but I think you build the foundation pretty well overall! I'm excited to see where this story is headed, I'll make sure to read more soon!
 

Tango

Mascot of the Doduo Alliance
Location
beyond the Nexus
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. doduo
Chapter 3
So, after your most recent reviews for me, I couldn't resist popping back in for another review for you! :cool:

Maressa trudged down the wooden dock. Behind her, the forested hillsides stretched without end. She glanced back—a few miles north lay Route 118, and just west of that was Mauville City.

Home.

A wave of nostalgia washed over Maressa—but at the same time, she felt no desire to go back there, at least not now. There wasn’t anything particular about Mauville—she expected her dad was at work in the Mauville Construction Company while her mom kept up the sewing business at home. Perhaps Mom baked a pie that day, and after dinner she would brew Prince of Sevii tea for her and Dad to share while they talked about anything and everything on their minds…
She seems like she has fond memories of home. I'm guessing after her education she moved out on her own? (If I'm forgetting stuff from earlier chapters I apologize.)

“Maressa?”

She snapped back and saw Mark staring at her curiously.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she muttered. “Just thinking about home.”

Mark smiled as he followed her gaze over the grassy hill to the wall of trees. “Are you from around here?”
Dang my shipping radar is going off for these two already. I really wonder what Mark's role in things will be later. Will the be lovers? Ex-lovers turned enemies? Will he leave with her? Or will they just remain friendly? :eyes:

“Yeah, I mostly grew up in Mauville City. It’s just a few miles northwest of here—Golduck and I used to come to this area sometimes when we were kids.”

“First time being this close to home since you joined Team Aqua, isn’t it?”

“Yep, first time since you told me to not contact them.”

In her mind’s eye, she saw herself—dressed professionally for an interview, about to graduate college—sitting across from Mark, also dressed in business clothing.
Woah so Mark is the one who recruited her? :eyes:

“Something has to be done!” Maressa was half-out of her chair, blood coursing through her veins. “The seas are dying and polluted—everyone who steps outside sees it! If the government won’t do anything—if everyday people won’t do anything—if nothing happens—we’ll lose so much more than we realize! There is so much about the oceans we still don’t know—and everything will be gone, poisoned or polluted before we have a chance to discover them! The Pokemon we know and love will also die out if we don’t do something!”
OH! We are getting a flashback! Woah! This is super cool! :eyes: I wonder how she got to that point in the interview though?

Mark surveyed her with a small smile.

“How badly do you want to save the oceans?”

“More than anything! I’ll—I’ll—there’s nothing more important!”

He leaned forward, his eyes alight with excitement.

“There is a way—and we can invite you into it. But there are many promises you need to make, first.
I guess colleges are one of the best places for Aqua to recruit. Makes sense. They do handle some sophisticated equipment, after all.

“Nine months.”

That was how long she was “at sea,” or so she told her parents.

“I got a job with Ocean Incorporated—we’ll be doing research and surveys from oceanic vessels for months at a time, so I won’t be in contact.”

The blue-green horizon blurred and came back into focus as she blinked several times. It made sense—especially as a new recruit, she needed to focus on her time with Team Aqua. And, in a way, being told what she couldn’t do felt freeing—knowing that she could no longer contact her family or talk to them was, in a paradoxical way, a relief.
I love the thought you put into her thought process here! Like yeah, she can't be held responsible in her mind for it, because she isn't allowed to!

There was no point in thinking about it, no time wasted daydreaming, no dreading what her parents might say if they knew she was doing something “radical.” She had freedom to do exactly as she wanted—exactly what needed to happen.

But she still missed them.
Aww. Yeah, I can see why she would.

Turning around, she walked with Mark down to the dock. The sunlight scattered across the rippling ocean waters, showcasing a fantastic turquoise that turned dark navy at the reef break.
Niiice! I love how you describe the water there! So vivid! :eyes:

At the end of the dock was what looked like a gargantuan blue cylinder with a small deck and guardrail on top. A skeletal white “A” that matched those on the team members’ bandannas was emblazoned on the side of the vessel.

Several team members clambered in to the submarine while Shelly stood at the head. She nodded when she saw Maressa and Mark.

“Everything is ready. Your diving gear is inside the submarine and there’s plenty of food and water. Mickey is in charge; defer to him for everything.”

Maressa gazed at the blue vessel. “So, this is the ship we’re going into?”

Boat, if you’re not going to call it a submarine. It is not a ‘ship,’” Shelly said crossly. “This is named ‘Ictineo.’” She smiled as she gazed at it. “Quite impressive, and it’s one of Leader Archie’s proudest pieces.”

“Did he help make this?”

“He helped design it when he was at the shipyard,” Shelly said offhandedly.
I love how things with Maressa are so ground-level that Archie isn't even a person with screen time yet. But this way you can build him up off-screen. I bet you are going to do some cool stuff with Archie later. I'm excited to see what you do. :eyes:

“Cool! So, where are we going?”
images

:mewlulz:

Shelly glared at Mark. “Didn’t you fill her in?”

Mark gulped. “Uhh…”

“Showing the new recruits is your responsibility.”

“Yes—I—this just slipped my mind.”

Shelly rolled her eyes. “Whatever; do it once you’re both aboard. Have her watch Marius on the way to Triangle Rock and then work alongside him when you go near Dewford. I don’t expect proficiency, but I want her at least familiar with it by the time you return.”

“Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait—“ Maressa’s head spun back-and-forth as she panickily looked between Shelly and Mark. “You want me to drive this thing?!”

Steer. But essentially, yes—”

“I don’t know how to pilot a ship!”
Taking the helm of a submarine is cool though! It's hilarious how she is just purely worried about it! :mewlulz:

Boat! And that’s why you’ll learn. You’ve already been through our submarine courses; you should have been expecting this.”

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t think it would be this soon!”

“You already know the basics and you won’t be alone-you’ll be fine. Besides, didn’t you say you liked math?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Then you’ll catch on,” Shelly said with finality. “Now, both of you, inside and get going! Make Team Aqua proud!”
So great how she doesn't wanna! :mewlulz:

Maressa followed Mark onto the deck and down through an open hatch while Shelly waited behind on the dock. Her heart beat rapidly—

She had never been inside a submarine, and now she was expected to pilot one? Sure, she had been in that tiny vessel that navigated the rivers and estuaries of Hoenn, but that never went far from land or did the cool stuff.

As she descended to the submarine’s innards, excitement and thrills washed along with the anxiety. She was in a submarine! The kinds that ocean explorers went on—she was really doing this! The halls and ceilings were narrow and cramped, just like she had always imagined it would be! It smelled of saltwater and rotting fish, just like she had always dreamed! And it was cold and foreboding!
Ok good, so she IS excited about it. It honestly does seem like it would be exciting. First time in a real sub! :eyes:

Her heart soared with excitement as she followed Mark. As they descended, the halls opened out and several people could walk through them. Large, circular windows dotted the outermost hallways. As soon as she spotted one, Maressa ran up to it and gazed at the murkish water outside, her heart singing with excitement. How easy it would be to see all the sea creatures once they were in the open ocean!

“Maressa, this way.” She followed Mark, her heart bursting to joy—she was living out her dream!

Several other Team Aqua members milled about; the occasional Crawdaunt scuttled by; Maressa also spotted Marshtomp, Mudkip, Lombre and some Sealeo. Her heart panged—she would bring Golduck out, but he was still resting in the hospital.

Not that he wanted to.

“Don’t worry, Golduck,” she had told him—just yesterday, but it already felt so long ago. He lay in bed, much more alert than before, but still hooked to an IV tube and several bandages wound around him.
I'm still not sure if he is in a Pokemon Center or if he is in an aqua base infirmary or something.

Wow, what if Shelly commandeered her Golduck once its healed? :copyka: She could be like, "nice Golduck. Since it's stronger than my Pokemon, it's mine now. Here you can have Ludicolo." If that happens I will back Maressa 100%, not that I wasn't already, I guess, but still!

“We’re meeting up with another team member, and then just going on a scouting expedition. It’s nothing dangerous! Besides, Seaking, Sharpedo and Lanturn are all coming with me.”

He quacked angrily—why couldn’t he go with her? He didn’t want to be the only one left behind!
Aww, I love how you explain his thought process. Seems like a great way to handle mon communication. I would do be interested in doing this with Gotan from my fic, but I have my reasons why I don't.

“I know you feel left out, and I’m sorry—Golduck, I really am.” The excitement died down as she looked at the bandages winding around Golduck and guilt settled into her heart.

He quacked—this wasn’t about being left out, it was that Maressa could be in danger and he wouldn’t be there to protect her! They were supposed to be best friends—why was she telling him to stay behind when he wanted to come along?
Oh man... Something is going to happen to Golduck. I really hope not, but I feel worried for some reason. Golduck is too good and therefore something even worse will be happening! :copyka:

“Just look at you!”

She clenched her teeth, trying to hold back tears. “You can’t fight right now! And Shelly thinks you should stay here while you’re like this—so I’m just doing as I’m told! Golduck I…” She sighed. “I hate seeing you like this… And I know that it’s at least partially my responsibility. You are my best friend.
Cuteness OVERLOAD!!! 🥰

I can't convey into words how sweet this scene is.

But I need to learn to trust them—Team Aqua knows what’s best in this situation. I don’t have a choice in this.”

The anger in Golduck’s eyes died down; his muscles relaxed and he looked ready to drift off to sleep again. He quacked. Maressa always had a choice.
Golduck seems wiser than Maressa! :mewlulz:

“Crawdaunt!”

Maressa snapped to the present when she spotted a large crustacean standing before her; a few bubbles frothed out of his mouth. She bent down to be eye level with him—which wasn’t very low, as he was a tall Crawdaunt.

“Hey, you’re a cutie! What’re you up to, huh?”

“Hey, Crawdaunt, made a new friend?”

Maressa looked up and saw a man with dark skin standing over his Crawdaunt; any hair he had was completely covered by his Team Aqua bandanna. His bright green eyes alighted on Maressa.

“I don’t think we’ve met before—I’m Mickey.”
Ah, no wonder the big Crawdaunt belongs to the one in charge!

“Hi! Maressa.” She shook his hand—perhaps a bit too vigorously in her excitement.

“Oh, Shelly told me about you! She said to take you to Marius. You’ve been filled in on what we’re doing, I assume?” He glanced up at Mark as he finished his question.

Mark stumbled over his words for a second before admitting, “I haven’t really told her anything—I keep forgetting.”

Mickey nodded. “Eh, it’s no big deal. We’ll have plenty of time. Follow me!”

Maressa bounced through the halls after him; Crawdaunt scuttled alongside them, the clacks of its calcareous shell ringing out through the metal tube.

“A member of ours is in Rustboro City right now,” Mickey explained. “He’s picking up something neat the scientists there have discovered—they’re referring to it as ‘creation fluid,’ and apparently it’s got amazing properties for examining and reviving DNA!”

“Reviving DNA?”

“Yeah—you know how a bunch of fossils are ‘trace fossils’—just the imprint of the creature? And then there are ‘body fossils,’ which are the actual Pokemon that’s been turned to stone, essentially. Apparently, this fluid can detect DNA that’s been fossilized and reconstruct a Pokemon out of it!”

“That’s so cool! I didn’t realize we had scientists in Rustboro!”

“Eh… We don’t.”

Maressa stopped walking. Mickey continued on for a few seconds before he realized she was no longer following and looked back. “Maressa?”

“If we don’t have scientists in Rustboro… is this stealing?”
Oh my. Don't tell me she had no idea what lengths Aqua goes through for things! Then again... she is pretty new. Maybe she really doesn't know! :copyka:

“They call it ‘stealing,’ but in reality, it’s ‘liberating.’ Think about it—this ‘creation fluid’ is so precious, and there’s so little of it, do we really want government-paid scientists to be the ones handling it? They can’t keep track of anything! Science is just a job for them, not a passion. Shelly used to work with these people at Devon—she’s told me before about how irresponsible they are. They just don’t care about the ocean the way we do.”
Ah yes. The rationalizations. I wonder how she will react?

“Shelly used to work at Devon?”

“Yep, she was a lead researcher. Knows all the behind-the-scenes stuff that goes on, the experiments they conducted. That’s how we know a lot about the environmental state of Hoenn now. She didn’t like Devon or the people there, though. From what she’s told us about them, they’ll probably forget about the fluid and leave it in a freezer until all the primers have decomposed. If we want this stuff to be used right, then we have to make sure it’s done ourselves.”

Something clicked in Maressa’s brain—Mickey was right.
Yeah somehow I doubt any of that she was told is really accurate even if Mickey thinks it is.

But this makes it very believable how Maressa could be willing to go along with this without it making her a deplorable person. She isn't evil. She's being manipulated with rationalizations.

“Better that ‘creation fluid’ be put to good use instead of wasting away!”

He smiled back at Maressa, his face shining with pride. “Exactly. So, we’re going to meet up with the team member. The rendezvous point is at Triangle Rock on the water Route 105—just a bit south of Rustboro City. After that, we’ll head south, to Route 106 near Dewford Town. There are reports that some ancient ruins have been found down there, so we’re gonna go and check them out.”

“We’ll get to go diving?” she asked, practically bouncing off the walls with excitement.
And just like that she eats it all up hook, line, and sinker.

But the moment she starts seeing things in action when it's NOT against Magma I think her eyes are going to open pretty widely. She is going to realize how wrong it is and that's when she will break away. I'm SOO curious how that will play out when it does!! :eyes:

“Of course! There’s all kinds of neat stuff to be found. The water at Dewford is really clear. It’s rocky, and some of it’s hard to get to, so we think this might not have been thoroughly explored before.”

The smile was plastered to Maressa’s face as she followed Mickey through the halls. The sun rays passed through murky water, leaving ever-changing light patterns on the metal panels. She was thrilled—she wanted to get into her diving gear and go out right now!

Mickey glanced back at her. “I hear you’ve done well lately—fighting a commander at Mt. Chimney! Shelly has high hopes for you.”

“Really? She certainly never acts like it,” Maressa said with a hint of bitterness.

“Eh, she’s just not very touchy-feely. She might not say it, but she thinks you’re capable.”
It's really almost criminal that a Pokemon game doesn't have you work for an evil team to start with. It would be so unique. Colosseum came the closest to that, but wasn't quite it either.

Maressa wanted to reply with a scathing comment as to just what she thought about Shelly’s lack of affirmation—but thought better of it. She wasn’t upset with Mickey; no point in directing her anger at him.

“You’ll be kept busy while on the submarine, but we won’t be at sea for long—maybe a day or two in total. You might’ve noticed that it’s mostly grunts with aquatic Pokemon here. Hardly anyone goes out to the northwest coast of Dewford, so we don’t expect to meet any trouble. Just want to go there, take a look, and come back. But everything needs to be kept in check: all hands to make sure the boat is trim and the nuclear generators need to be maintained at all times—”

“Did you say nuclear?”
Oh yeah, we might have neglected to mention that tiny bit! :unquag:

Mickey glanced back at Maressa, completely unfazed while she gaped at him in horror. “I did. Nuclear fuel is the cleanest, most efficient way for submarines to travel—”

“But what about nuclear waste? Or byproducts? Doesn’t that destroy habitats for kilometers around?”

He waved a dismissive hand. “That only happens if you’re not careful and allow things to get out of hand. Nuclear fuel is the fuel of the future: clean, reliable and safe. It has potential to go bad, and so most governments don’t want people touching it with a ten-meter pole. The only thing it requires to operate is a constant stream of fresh water. As long as that’s maintained, we’re fine—and so far, we’ve been doing great. Eventually, there’ll be widespread replacement of toxic, deadly fumes with clean nuclear fuel.”

Maressa frowned. She had never heard that about nuclear fuel—but then again, there was so much she didn’t know. All she had heard of nuclear fuel was the potential to build bombs out of it. Was it really that safe and clean?
Ooo! As someone who did some investigating of energy sources before, Nuclear energy seems to be currently the overall best energy source. Pretty much every energy source has its limitations and drawbacks too. Now that is just talking about Nuclear Fission, but Nuclear Fusion would be an even better source of energy if/when that gets figured out.

Nice job with this bit! Really cool! :quag:

The hallway soon opened out into a wide area filled with a multitude of panels and screens at which several Team Aqua members sat.

Mickey walked Maressa over to an older gentleman with slick blonde hair.

“Marius!” he announced as the two of them walked up. “I’d like you to meet Maressa. She’s a relatively new recruit.”

Marius smiled at Maressa and heartily shook her hand. “New, eh? Are you ready to learn the ways of navigating and controlling the Ictineo?”

“I sure am!” she said, bouncing up-and-down on the balls of her feet. “This is so cool—I’ve never been inside a submarine before!”

Marius started—his pale blue eyes opened wide as he looked down at Maressa.

“You’ve never even been inside? How are you—oh, nevermind.” He dismissively waved a hand. “Here, I’ll show you around. That’s for the rudder to control yaw, and here are the diving planes to control pitch. This is where we control the diving bells—we won’t need those this time, as we’ll be in fairly shallow water, but I’ll show the controls…”

Maressa hounded him like a lost Poochyena as he pointed to a variety of different panels and gadgets. She tried to memorize each and every bit of information—but it was all so much, so intertwined and so related that she quickly lost track of things.
Yeah, that does sound like a bit much! 😅

All at once, the lights in the room went out. Darkness descended like a black cloak, the only source of illumination coming from the myriad of spectral lights emanating from the machines. A few Chinchou sat on the floor, adding the light of their lanterns to those of the navigation screens.

“On our way!” Marius said excitedly.
So... what just happened? Did they dive?

Maressa’s heart lifted—and then her whole body lifted as the submarine descended to the waters.
I feel like there should have been something in the previous section to prepair for diving like an intercom message or him talking about how they were about to dive or something. It just kind of happened out of nowhere.

She was light from the excitement. This was it! They were exploring the ocean—she was in the ocean in a submarine! Her face broke out into a smile, her heartbeat raced uncontrollably as the rush overtook her. She glanced around the room, spying the Chinchou. Taking out a Pokeball, she stared at the fishy form through the translucent cap.
A very realistic reaction. She gets excited about the ocean and submarines. This would be a very cool experience. And we get to experience it vicariously via her POV!

She would love to bring her Lanturn out—but Lanturn wouldn’t be able to breathe air for long, and definitely couldn’t swim quickly enough to keep up with the submarine as it traversed the ocean…
Yeah, having a water type that only swims really would be a pretty big drawback in many situations. The games just pretend air is water, but the world of the anime or a fic are very different for that.

She pocketed her Pokeball. She’d figure something out—eventually. For the moment, she reveled in the rush of adrenaline and soaring excitement as the vessel traversed the ocean depths.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Okay, see how this dot shows up—are you watching?”

“Huh? Oh—yes!”

Maressa snapped back as Marius glared pointedly at her with icy eyes. The Chinchou playing and rolling on the floor of the navigation room had caught her attention; watching the two of them wrestle and roll about warmed her heart and made her miss Golduck slightly less—but only slightly.
Oh dear, I get the sense something will be messing up with her operating the submarine! :copyka: I'm worried she is going to crash it and that it will leak nuclear fission fuel everywhere!

Marius sighed. “We have been in for a while. Go ahead out and grab some food.”

Maressa exited the dark room, wincing slightly as sunlight streamed in through the portholes. A small Corphish stared at the water outside. What had once been a murky, estuarine brown was replaced with crystal-clear azure. Maressa joined him, feeling a wave of calm wash over her as she gazed into the endless blue.
Some more nice description. Really helps to convey a sense of depth and grandure while painting the picture of how she feels about it! Great work here!

Myriads of Pokemon swam by them: pods of Wailmer bouncing along in the water’s flow; masses of Tentacool and Tentacruel with brilliant jewels shining like marine fire; groups of Sharpedo and Carvanha darkening the sea with their mere presence; schools of Luvdisc drifting like heart-shaped leaves in the waves; colonies of Corsola displaying their fluorescent pink staghorns; Huntail and Gorebyss with whip-like bodies that coiled and undulated in the sea’s flow; groups of Horsea and Seadra adding a draconic flare to the marine community—Maressa’s heart jumped at the sight of a crowned head with long fins trailing behind it like streamers announcing a regal presence. The Kingdra moved through the water easily, dwarfing its pre-evolutions that swarmed about it. As the sunlight caught its scales, they glistened and shone like hand-carved jasper.
Wow, that is absolutely TEEMING with life! :eyes:

Maressa pressed her face to the glass, a wide smile stuck to her face—Horsea was one of her favorite Pokemon, and to see not only hordes of them but its evolutions—to see a wild Kingdra!—was something she had never expected.

She gasped with delight at the sight of a great, dark wings, spread out like an avian in flight. Its long tail fanned out behind it, catching the sun’s rays in a magnificent dazzle of light. Maressa’s heart beat rapidly as the majestic Mantine passed by them, casually gliding along in the ocean currents.

A Mantine! Those were hardly ever seen in the Hoenn waters!
Woah it's like being in an aquarium! I love those! :veelove:

She gazed at the marvel until it was lost to sight and kept on gazing long after all the schools of Pokemon had left them. Once more, the Ictineo sat as a lone wanderer in the great blue void, plowing forward with a purpose.

Maressa’s stomach rumbled. How long had it been since she had eaten? She looked through empty the hallway. She hadn’t even noticed the Corphish leave.

Shaking herself out of reverie, she walked through the hall,
I love your choice of words. Reverie is such a cool one.

passing portholes that served as portals to the marine realm. Mark would probably tell her to help with keeping the ship “trim,” soon, and she knew she didn’t have long for a break.

She made her way to the mess hall; there were a few tables mostly occupied with other team members wolfing down food. Once she secured a plate of food, she sat down. She didn’t know what the food was: everything was a sort of mushy mass of an off grey-white color. She ate it; it was as cold as winter snow (at least, what she imagined snow would be like) and had no taste.

Hm... Maybe being on a submarine actually kinda sucks.
What on earth are they eating anyway?? :copyka:

“Hey! What are you doing? Marius said he wants you back in the navigation room.”

Maressa looked up to see Mickey standing by her with a plate of food.

“Already? I just got out.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the sub life for you. Break’s over!”
Dang! No wonder the others were wolfing it down! 😅

Well. That's what she gets for sight-seeing, I guess... :copyka:

Depositing her empty tray in a container for dirty dishes, Maressa wound back through the halls, her outlook growing slightly dimmer with each step—but walking by the portholes reminded her that it wasn’t all bad.

Just mostly bad.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Triangle Rock! We just need to pick up Oscar, and then it’s down south!”

Diving planes—we’re ascending!”

Maressa hovered over Marius, watching him activate different controls. She heard a hissing sound—then an unseen weight pulled her down, gluing her feet to the floor as the boat rose through the water.
Oh nice detail there! Kind of seems like you have been on a submarine before. If not, great job regardless!

Loud splashing crashed around them—the boat broke the sea surface. There were sounds of thundering feet hitting the metal floor—a hiss as a hatch opened—the scuttle of clattering claws and the thud of human feet.

With the sound of another loud hiss, all weight seemed to leave Maressa’s body as the submarine returned to the depths and propelled onwards, continuing its journey to Dewford island.
The way to describe things combined with the thought that went into them make for some truly immersive scenes. Very well done!

Closing thoughts:
So the scenes with Golduck were my favorites, but not by a ton because you did an amazing job with all the pure scenery in this chapter! Seriously, I got such vivid and breathtaking imagery in my mind from it. Almost like being in an aquarium! Also, I suspect there was a fair bit for foreshadowing in this chapter. It really took some time to explore some more aspects of being a member of team Aqua and that was really cool! I look forward to the next chapter. And if you happen to give my fic another review soon, I just might happen to pop back in here again soon too! 😉
 

Tango

Mascot of the Doduo Alliance
Location
beyond the Nexus
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. doduo
Chapter 4
You know what? Screw it. I'm back again since you reviewed more than one of my chapters last time and I'm not ok just letting you be more awesome than me, so here I am. :wink:

As the submarine descended once more, Maressa couldn’t hold her excitement in any further.

“I’ll be right back!” she said to Marius. He might have called after her—but she was out of that room and blinking in the light of the main cabin once more. Besides, she needed to get away from the multitude of different configurations. She was starting to become more familiar with them, but the thought of soon taking control of them made her sick with anxiety.
Well I would HOPE that he would be watching her once he hands over the controls lol! :unquag:

Blinking, she walked through the hallways and stopped when she saw a group congregating. A few team members swarmed around a man and his Crawdaunt. The Team Aqua member had brown hair kept back in a scruffy ponytail and removed his sunglasses to rub his eyes.

“Sean! Nice to see you back,” Mickey said as he pushed aside teammates to get through. “How did everything go? Successful mission, I hope? Got the creation fluid?”

Sean lowered his eyes. “No, I didn’t get the creation fluid.”
Oh! That was unexpected! :eyes:

I guess now Maressa will see how failure is treated in Aqua.

The tension in the air was palpable. In the ensuing silence, the hum of the submarine’s engine was the only noise (though it was still quite a powerful noise). All stared at Sean expectantly.

“Okay,” Mickey said with forced patience, “and why is that?”

“I had gotten hold of it while undercover at Devon Corp—but the guy in charge, Mr. Stone, didn’t recognize me and started hounding my steps. I was stopped by a couple of kids and their Pokemon. I got away—but without the creation fluid.”
Ruby and Sapphire, perhaps?? :eyes:

“Did you cover your tracks?” The joy had evaporated from Mickey’s face—his eyes were wide and he looked almost scared.

“… No, but I know they’re not following us.”

“And why didn’t you cover your tracks?”

“I barely got away, as it was!”

Mickey gaped at Sean, piercing him with his emerald glare. “Why? What happened? You know you’re supposed to kept undercover
Ah I think you meant to use "keep" instead of "kept" here.

and avoid attention as much as possible—we don’t need all of the Rustboro police on our tail!”

Maressa’s head flew back and forth as she watched the two men converse. Her mind was abuzz with questions—and she wasn’t good at holding them back.

“‘Cover your tracks?’ What do you mean? And what are we using this creation fluid for, anyway? What fossils do we have that we need to revive?”
Hmm I wonder how they will respond to this?

Heads turned to look at her but she didn’t care. How was she supposed to know what all this terminology meant? Mickey’s sour mood disappeared as he smiled.

“How about you come with me and I’ll teach you? Sean, you come along, too. The rest of you, back to work!”

The other Team Aqua members scattered like a bunch of Ariados as Mickey, Maressa and Sean made their way through the halls, passing portholes showcasing pale blue waters. As they walked, Maressa noticed Sean kept his eyes down and held a distinct air of discomfort.

Mickey unlocked a door and the three of them were in a tiny room with a very low ceiling. Desks barely large enough to hold notebooks sat against two walls, each with a tiny seat.

“So, welcome to my office!” Mickey said cheerfully. “You can have this cramped seat or that cramped seat or sit in that particularly cold spot on the floor.”

Maressa opted for one of the cramped seats—she hated the cold—and the three of them were in a little circle.
Good! I wanted Maressa to have a seat instead of the floor! 🥰

“Now, to answer your questions!” Mickey said with shining eyes. “We might not have fossils that need reviving—but that doesn’t mean the creation fluid can’t teach us about the origins of the earth!”

“Okay, but how does learning about the origins of earth help us?” she asked impatiently.

“All life begins in the sea—all life depends on the sea, even if it’s something terrestrial. You have the potential to become a high-ranking member in Team Aqua, so it’s very important that you know this—”

“Oh, yeah, I don’t doubt the importance of what we do! I was just wondering how discovering origins is going to help us with what’s going on now.”
Ooo! She is being let into the inner circle! :eyes:

“There are so many ways! The earliest oceans were even less habitable than they are now—they were pure acid, maybe didn’t even have oxygen, and yet life still persisted and thrived. If we can learn about how life continued under those conditions, imagine what we can do with that knowledge today! With our oceans deteriorating, learning this information is more crucial than ever.”

Puzzle pieces clicked into place as Maressa listened to Mickey. She smiled.

“So,” Mickey went on, “that is why we want to look at the creation fluid, and that is why we’re looking at the ruins by Dewford.”

… And the puzzle pieces fell apart again into a senseless jigsaw in Maressa’s mind.

“Ruins? You mean like man-made ruins?”

“Yes! Dewford was colonised by people long ago—”

“But how does studying something man-made teach us about the origin of life?”

“Because,” Mickey said with flare, “ancient people discovered how to live from the ocean sustainably without damaging it or polluting the waters. If they learned how to do it, so can we! They respected and worshipped
should only be one "p" in worshiped.

the ocean and its gods. We can learn a lot by looking at them.

“Anyway,” he said as he stood up—bending his back slightly so as to not hit his head on the ceiling, “Maressa, now that you know what our next step is, I want you to rest with Squad C. You all will be taking diving gear and exploring the ruins. Make sure your Pokemon are ready, too. Sean, I want to talk to you a bit more.”

Marerssa did as she was told and exited Mickey’s office, traversing the winding halls until eventually finding her way to the row of rooms where the grunts stayed. She pulled the keys Mark had given her out of her pocket and went to the room assigned to her.
Meanwhile back at the helm:
Marius: "Just where did that girl run off to?! I still needed to teach her the controls for advanced maneuvering!" :unquag:

It was even tinier than Mickey’s office. The ceiling was low—she cursed her height—and she had to bend down. There was a cot, a small desk, and enough unoccupied space only to stand.
Yeah, space is at a premium in a sub. She should be grateful she isn't having to share it with someone else with a bunk bed or something.

Untying her bandanna, Maressa draped it over the tiny square that constituted a desk and peeled her gloves off her hands. She lay down and exhaled deeply, feeling her vertebrae stretch as the weight was removed from them. Without people constantly talking to her, the excitement wore away and weariness seeped into her bones—but her mind buzzed with questions.

She trusted that there were good reasons for everything Team Aqua did; she just wished she could know what they all were. Sean didn’t have the creation fluid, and it sounded like it would only become more difficult to obtain—and judging that he hadn’t “covered his tracks,” it sounded like the police might be on their tail.

As Maressa closed her eyes and drifted off, she looked forward to diving with her Pokemon. In her mind’s eye, she saw a city of forgotten ruins wreathed in seagrass lying kilometers below the ocean surface. In the beautiful seascape of her mind, she drifted off into an easy sleep.
Good choices for stuff for her to think about while drifting off to sleep!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sunlight filtered through the surface of the water and sparkled on the wave tops as the Team Aqua grunts descended. The submarine floated at the surface, minuscule in comparison to the infinite open ocean around them.
At first I read this bit and was confused, but after I read farther down I can see that this is showing her and other grunts diving!

Great job again with the wording and description. :veelove:

The large columns of rock reached out from the seafloor like fingers of the earth. As though attempting to escape the cold seawater and feel the warm sun, they formed avenues in the great sea. The sides of the pinnacles were lush with multitudes of coral and sedentary organisms arrayed in a rainbow of colors. Numerous Pokémon nosed their way about in search of food or else floated by idly as the current carried them wherever it willed.
Ok, I can't keep praising you over and over again each time you describe something cool. I'd be here ALL DAY if I did that! :mewlulz:

Instead, I'll just mention those collectively at the bottom.

Bubbles floated upwards as Maressa breathed out through her regulator. Clenching Seaking’s tail with one hand, she gazed at the scenery around them. Though she was to search for ruins or a cave opening like Mark had told her to, she couldn’t help but be mystified at the natural beauty of the tropical ocean. Her fingers relaxed as she let go of Seaking’s tail and began the descent by herself, allowing her aquatic companion to scout ahead of her.
Plenty of natural beauty to be had. I really can't fault her for being distracted by it.

The water beneath her was an impenetrable blue—she couldn’t see how far away the bottom might have been. Maressa switched her gaze from the aquatic life to her companions nearby her. Sharpedo and Lanturn swam close by; several other grunts had Pokemon with them, as well. Some of the other divers were within a few meters, each wearing the same grey-blue wetsuit.

Having her Pokemon nearby made Maressa feel secure; though she had been diving for years, the wide expanse of the ocean was always a bit daunting—every current and rock of the waves made her realize how small and utterly helpless she was against the sea's infinite power. With her Pokemon, at least, she knew they could help her out in case anything went wrong.
Yeah, that would be comforting. The ocean can be pretty scary alone, especially on a deep dive.

She couldn't stop thinking about her exchange with Mickey earlier. Even though she was always eager to go diving and exploring underwater formations, studying the ruins just seemed odd to her. Maybe he was right—maybe they could discover something about the ocean that they wouldn't otherwise know?

As she and Seaking descended into the sea, her heart leapt at the sight of shadowy outlines arise before her eyes. Seaking swam ahead of her and she saw his fishy orange form swim in-and-out of stone columns. As Maressa continued to descend, she soon found herself hovering over a rocky bottom in the midst of an ancient city. Spires and scaffolds of forgotten stone buildings stood around her, wreathed with seaweed red and brown. Corals and algae crowned the lopsided archways; seagrasses and kelp clung to the crumbling rock, their blades swaying in the current's gentle ebb and flow. Maressa hovered in the water, unable to do more than stare at the lost city she found herself in.
So cool... :eyes:

She watched a few Corphish crawl in large, oddly-shaped cracks on a stone wall. Blinking her eyes, she realized they weren't just cracks—they weren't cracks at all. They formed words:

"i guinaiya-ku. i minetgot-hu yan i fuetså-ku i tåsi"

Unclipping a camera from her dive jacket, she snapped a picture of the cryptic writing.
Ooo! Neat! :veelove:

BOOP-BOOP BOOP-BOOP

Maressa jumped as the transmitter on her shoulder flashed bright red and released a series of beeps. Her heart raced—if the team on the submarine was sending her a signal, then she needed to get back to the sub as quickly as possible. What was so serious that they were cutting the mission short for?

Maressa looked up as an orange form tore through the water towards her.

"King! Seaking!"

With her regulator in her mouth, Marerssa couldn't say anything—but Seaking perfectly got his message across. He flapped his fins urgently, dancing back-and-forth in the water. There was something dangerous nearby!
Oh crud! I wonder if Aqua was trying to warn her about it?! :wowzard:

Maressa's heart churned as her blood raced. If danger was that close, then all she could do was get back to the sub. Raising the control of her dive jacket, she pressed the button, pumping air into it. Kicking her finned feet, she slowly ascended through the water column. It took all her willpower to continue upwards at a slow, steady pace.

Go slower than the smallest bubble, she had always been told.

As she breathed out through her regulator, she watched her bubbles fly to the surface above her, keeping her pace slow and steady to prevent nitrogen buildup in her body.
Wow I would not have even thought about a detail like this. Great job! :eyes:

Eventually, she saw the sunlight break through the endless blue and sparkle beyond the void. Her head broke the water surface; she exchanged her regulator for her snorkel before paddling her way to the submarine nearby. Mickey and a few others stood on top of the dark blue cylinder, looking at something behind Maressa.

"Mickey!" she called as she removed her snorkel. "What's up?"

He pointed; Maressa turned around and her heart sank.

A massive dark red ship crept towards to them.
Magma?? :wowzard:

It easily dwarfed Team Aqua's submarine—it even seemed to have a loading port that was big enough to take them inside. Along its side was a black "M" resembling a cave nestled in a trio of mountains.
Are they about to be captured along with their entire sub?? :copyka:

Other Team Aqua grunts joined Maressa at the surface. One of them whistled with awe as he laid eyes on the massive ship. Something nuzzled Maressa's shoulder—she put an arm over Lanturn's back and nodded to Sharpedo as the two of them joined her and Seaking.
Aww her Pokemon are surrounding her to help protect her... Freaking cute! 😆

Maressa looked back at Mickey, intending to ask him a question when she noticed a bright green form glide through the air.

"Is that a Tropius?"

Mickey wheeled around and immediately laid eyes on the reptilian creature flying around them.

"That's one of theirs! Shoot it down, shoot it down, shoot it down!"

Several jets of water—and an aurora beam from a Sealeo—all flew through the air towards the Tropius. The Grass-type ducked and wove, flying out of the attacks' range. It joined a flock of Swellow, which Maressa quickly noticed was joined by several Golbat that seemingly came from nowhere.

"Everyone inside, inside, inside!" Mickey urged.
Yeah... 😅

Maressa and the others awkwardly clambered onto the submarine top. As she bent down to unbuckle her fins, a Xatu swooped down, soaring just over the waters, its scarlet eyes locked onto her.

Maressa crouched, her muscles tense, ready to dive aside at the last minute—but Lanturn leapt out of the water, slamming into the Xatu and delivering an electric shock to it. The Psychic-type flapped its wings wildly as it tried to right itself, sending a blast of psychic energy at Maressa’s Pokemon. Unaffected, Sharpedo leapt from the water and crunched down on the Xatu's wing, taking the Pokemon to the depths.
I LOVE seeing her water types protecting her! Even though they haven't had the screen time Golduck had this gives a good chance to see the rest of them in action.

But Maressa needs to hurry. Don't bother with the fins just flop inside FAST! :wowzard:

There was a splash—Xatu’s psychic attack had hit Mickey off the sub and into the water. Her teammates swam over to him, helping him back on deck.

Maressa looked up. The blood in her veins turned to ice as she saw hundreds of Pokemon soaring in the air above them: Swellow and Golbat formed a cloud, joined by an occasional Xatu, Skarmory and Tropius.
What the living HECK?! How many ARE there?!?! :wowzard:

They're screwed. :copyka:

Maressa spotted a few rarer individuals, including a Flygon and a Metang, along with more exotic Pokemon like Jumpluff and Pidgeot.

She squinted—the Metang hung in the air not very far above the deck of Team Magma's ship, just enough to make for a good vantage point. Someone sat on top of it. Her eyes roved to the ship’s deck, where several humans wearing dark grey pants and red hoodies stood with an assortment of Pokemon. A sprightly individual with a mushroom-domed head bounced along the deck, belching out seeds at the Pokemon in the water.
Wait what? Is she describing a Breloom using bullet seed or something?

Her attention was torn as she saw a cloud of Swellow group together and divebomb the Team Aqua members. Adrenaline coursed through her veins as she saw the Flying-types descend—

"Everyone, down!"

The Team Aqua grunts dropped to the floor of the submarine as the Swellow flew just over them. Several Swellow were knocked out of the air as Pokemon in the water targeted them with various attacks. Maressa looked over at Mickey. Her dive tank was still attached to her and its weight pressed down heavily onto her with massive discomfort bordering on pain.
I love the way you handled this air assault. You even hinted that Magma had the capability for this in their initial battle when they used Golbat against her. And it makes sense that this is how Magma would fight Aqua at sea!

Also, it seems like that ship probably has ALL of team Magma on it! :eyes:

"What do we do now?"

"We can't fight them!"

"Why not? We have the terrain advantage! And we don't need to win, we just need to incapacitate enough of their Pokemon. Birds can't fly if their wings are wet—it won't be hard!"
Maressa, the rest of Aqua doesn't battle as well as you and they have a MASSIVE number advantage! :copyka:

Mickey grit his teeth as his eyes darted at the chaos unraveling before their eyes: more Team Aqua Pokemon were fighting back, leaping from the air to snag Flying-types in their jaws or tentacles. Some were beat down as Team Magma's Pokemon lashed out with wings, beaks, and claws.

"Fine!" he exclaimed at last. "Go ahead and command them—we need to make this quick!"
Oh wow, they really ARE going to fight! :wowzard:

"You got it! Seaking, get over here! I need you!"

Maressa crawled across the surface of the submarine, put her snorkel in her mouth, and splashed back into the water. In a few seconds, Seaking's orange form appeared below her and Maressa sat on his back as he plowed through the seawater, away from the submarine and into the thick of battle.

Her eyes scanned the battlefield—it was a mess. The Pokemon above were frequently shot down but they always reformed, combining their attacks to create powerful gusts of wind or to attack a single Pokemon as a unit.

She gripped Seaking’s back with her legs as he plowed through the twisting, turning waters. Behind her mask, Maressa’s eyes stayed trained on the Pokemon in the air above her. Now that she was closer, she saw a few Team Magma members sitting astride the larger Pokemon: a Flygon ducked in and out of the sunlit patches while his rider gave him commands. Someone clung to the back of the Tropius. And above them all, Maressa saw a Metang floating near the ship, a lone Team Magma member sitting on him, calling out indeterminate orders and pointing to different areas.
I wonder if she is going to try to take out the commander? :eyes:

Squeezing Seaking with her knees, she tapped him a few times and leaned to the left. Seaking followed her directions and rose out of the water to give her a clearer view.
I love how she has this whole communication system sorted out for when she can't speak to issue orders. Really cool! :veelove:

Sharpedo and Lanturn followed them, and her little party retreated to a calmer part of the waters. Removing her snorkel from her mouth, she gave out orders.

“We need to get them out of the sky. Flying-types can’t stay airborne with wet wings! The water Pokemon need to group together and combine attacks. Act as a unit. If they fly out of range, hide below the water. They can’t hit us down there. Sharpedo and Lanturn, regroup and direct those hiding under the waves. Seaking, let’s round up and direct everyone at the surface. Go!”
Wow she has a real battle plan involving mon from the others in Aqua! Duuude. This is really cool! How often do you see a fic where a protagonist commands a Pokemon army?! :wowzard:

Sharpedo and Lanturn immediately dove beneath the waters while Seaking swam forward to the multitude of Tentacool, Tentacruel, Seadra and Wailmer sitting at the surface. Maressa called out orders—as Lanturn and Sharpedo herded other Pokemon, they gradually rose to the surface as well.

“Everyone, surf!”
Wait... that's going to create a tidal wave ISN'T IT?!?!?!!? :wowzard:

Maressa exchanged her snorkel with her regulator as all Pokemon dove beneath the waves. They hydrokinetically controlled the water immediately around them, gathering, raising and building it up until it turned into a massive tidal wave that towered in the air.
This might be the coolest battle I've ever read involving Pokemon. 😳

I bet you were grinning EAR TO EAR when you were writing this absolute masterpiece! 🤣

The coordination of commanding an attack force like this reminds me of something like Code Geass, which is proably one of the best anime series ever created.

Maressa clung to Seaking’s fins as the wall of water soared—her stomach somersaulted as she felt the wave’s powerful pull take her into the sky, launching all the Pokemon into the air—trapping the Flying-types in its deadly liquid net and crashing back down with thunderous force. Clinging to Seaking, Maressa’s body was still overtaken in the rush of adrenaline. A cloud of white bubbles filled the water, blinding her for a few seconds and blotting out her vision. Maressa reminded herself to keep breathing—or else in the excitement, she would have held her breath, and that would not bode well when attached to pressurized air.

As the bubbles rose to the surface and the sea waters calmed, Maressa and Seaking hung under the water.
Maaaan. If Magma didn't want her before, they sure AS ARCEUS DO NOW!! :wowzard:

Her heart twisted—

Flying-types floated about erratically in the sea, helpless in the currents, desperately beating their wings in vain attempts to get air again. Some succeeded in breaking the surface of the salty waters. Others floundered about, ensnared in the ocean’s deadly embrace.

Smacking Seaking’s side, she pointed to the Flying-types stuck under the water. He darted forward; he and Maressa gathered who they could and brought them to the surface.
Oh! She appears to be helping them?

Cold wind slapped her face as her head broke the surface. She quickly exchanged her regulator for her snorkel. Her eyes fell on the Flying-types who had not been taken down by the wave—and there were a lot—beat their wings rapidly, creating a giant gust of wind. As Maressa clambered back onto Seaking, she noticed a Skarmory glowing brightly, cutting through the air like a razor.
Ah ok, so there are still many that did not get hit by the mega wave. Hmm... I'm not sure how I feel about that. I kind of wish only stragglers were left. It's not really her power she is using since she is commanding so many other mon, so letting her absolutely wreck them would still be valid.

But you know, it was still massively cool regardless.

"Lanturn, do what you can to stop them!"

Lanturn charged forward, her light sparkling with electricity. She leapt out of the air, releasing a bolt of lightning that hit several Flying-types, sending them to the waves below. She kept at it: leaping in the air, shocking Pokemon, and diving back down to the waters—all while the Skarmory drew nearer.

She leapt in the air—as her blue body crackled with electricity, a Flygon swooped in and smacked her with its tail, sending her flying through the air.
Yeah, Flygon would be an excellent counter to that.

"LANTURN!"

Maressa knew Lanturn wouldn't be taken out by a single attack from a Flygon, but instinct drove her to check on her Pokemon. She was cut off as a green beam cut through the air and sliced through the salt water, penetrating meters deep beneath the waves.

Breloom danced about on deck, collecting energy into a glowing ball.
Ah ok, so it was a Breloom.

“Sharpedo, see that? Think you can launch yourself up there to stop him?”

Sharpedo growled—he could make the distance, for sure, but once he was on a dry deck, he couldn’t do more than flop about uselessly!

“Then launch me!”
Oh what insanity is about to happen now?! :wowzard:

Maressa dismounted Seaking and was soon astride Sharpedo—she had never before been so grateful that her wetsuit was built to endure serrated scales. Her amber eyes stayed locked on Breloom.
You even accounted for the scales on her wetsuit?! :ROFLMAO:

“Ready when you are!”

Lowering his head, Sharpedo plowed forward—racing faster and faster like a bullet—shooting through the water with increasing speed. The wind whipped and slapped Maressa’s face—her heart raced as she bent low over Sharpedo.

Sharpedo dipped down—then shot into the air with the force of a torpedo. Maressa clung to his back, her stomach churning, all eyes on them as they arced towards the deck of Team Magma’s ship.

“Bre—LAAAAAAAA!”

Breloom shrieked bloody murder as he saw Sharpedo flying towards him. He scrambled—
Better RUN little MUSHROOM!! :mewlulz:

Team Magma members scattered as Sharpedo crashed onto the desk, his caudal fin cutting through the sheet metal like a knife through butter. Momentum carried Maressa forward—she flew off his back and straight into Breloom.

“BREEEEEEE!”
:ROFLMAO:

He screamed as Maressa crashed into him—the weight of her dive tank pinning him down. He flailed about, screaming in utter terror—letting out strange, chirping chokes that almost sounded like crying.

Someone lifted Maressa off Breloom—and then water sprayed all over the deck and the unseen force let go of her. She wheeled about—

Several Team Magma members stared at her with a mixture of confusion and anger.
I'm surprised they weren't the tiniest bit shocked as well.

Sharpedo lay just before her, growling and spitting bursts of water to keep the enemies at bay.
Yeah! Get em, Sharpedo! :veelove:

She glanced up—several Flying types flew about in a circle, whipping up gusts. The ship suddenly dipped forward—Team Aqua’s Pokemon used surf again, creating a giant wall of water that trapped several of Team Magma’s Pokemon. The heads of Team Magma members turned away from her—she used the opportunity to try and push Sharpedo off deck and into the water. But Sharpedo was huge, and she had to walk backwards while wearing her fins. As she pushed her back against Sharpedo, adrenaline and panic raced through her—and her eyes locked on Breloom’s, who huddled in a shivering heap before her.

Once his eyes met hers, they narrowed and he sprang forward with a cry:

“Bre—LOOOM!”
Dang it would have been perfect if she had Golduck for this moment! 😫

He twisted—his powerful tail smacked Sharpedo upside the snout, sending him flying through the air—

And back into the water!

“Thank you!” Maressa called to Breloom before putting in her regulator, taking a few steps and falling back to the waves.
:mewlulz: I'm not sure how much of a threat the Breloom was that it required her to perform such an insane stunt in the first place, but it was massively entertaining and cool, so I really don't care! :mewlulz:

Several meters deep under water, Maressa saw more Flying-types than ever. Her heart twisted—but maybe this wasn’t a bad thing. If enough Pokemon were down, Team Aqua could retreat while Team Magma collected their Pokemon.

Her vision erupted—a green beam cut through the water—an orange form spun above her—

Seaking!

Seeing him hit by a solar beam erased all other thoughts from her mind—she swam up as quickly as she could,
Did Breloom do that?

kicking hard, a trail of bubbles streaming behind her. She had to make sure Seaking was okay!

Several other water Pokemon congregated—Maressa felt the water pull as Team Aqua’s Pokemon readied another surf attack.

Sher head broke the surface—she saw Seaking floating, his eyes barely open.

“Seaking, I’m here! Are you—”

She was cut off by an agonized roar—a Skarmory had slammed into Sharpedo, slicing his scaly flesh with razor-sharp blades.

Sharpedo, no!
Oh crud! This doesn't seem like a battle they are going to win!

Maressa’s eyes were so trained on Seaking and Sharpedo that she failed to notice two bright beams fly in from the direction of Team Magma’s ship—

An immense force slammed into her, pushing her and Seaking below the water with breakneck force. Bubbles hailed from behind her neck as something hard slammed into the back of her head—she was constantly propelled downwards. Maressa switched her snorkel for her regulator and inhaled—water flooded her facial cavity, filling it with stinging salt.

There was no air.
What the heck is even happening now?! :wowzard: I would complain, but I don't think Maressa really knows either!

Her body was pulled down quicker and quicker. He ears screamed from the weight of pressure. Panic flooded her heart—her hand flew behind her—

The gasket was damaged. All the air expelled from the top of the diving tank. The weight of the tank—and force of the air—pulled her body lower and lower—

She automatically unbuckled her dive jacket, freeing herself. Her lungs screamed with pain—free from the tank, she kicked as hard as she could. The water was dark around her—the surface seemed so far away—her lungs were fit to burst—she needed air. The sunlight grew closer, the water blindingly bright as it shone beneath the rays.

Her head broke the surface—before she could take in a breath, a wave crashed over her head and she was sent tumbling.
I'm getting second-hand anxiety reading this!! Good thing I can slow down and BREATHE a little! :copyka:

The force of the water beat her back-and-forth, playing with her as if she was a rag doll. She tried to right herself—tried to orient herself—tried to find the surface, the sun, the air

But the water pulled her under, a current sucking her lower and lower into the ocean’s omniscient grasp. She spasmed, twisting and turning—her lungs burst—her ears rang from the pressure—

She inhaled—water flooded her—her chest convulsed, as if she were trying to vomit—pain flooded her body, her torso pricked with hundreds of sharp knives. Her vision spotted—everything erupted around her—

All she knew was the dark, the liquid, the suffocation.
I'm honestly speechless here. I don't even have words.

Closing thoughts:
This chapter was breathtaking in several different ways. Wow what a ride... From the vivid descriptions, the reasoning, and the battle-WOW what a battle- I'm speechless. Can you please give me another review so I can come back? This is a HORRIBLE cliffhanger to stay on! 😅
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Premium
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
  9. porygon
  10. giratina-origin
  11. houndoom
She saw herself for what she was: ugly, disgusting, violated, used. Not a person, but just an object for others to do with as they wished. She had tried to fix her mistakes, tried to do the right thing—and in the end, it didn’t make a difference. This was her punishment for trying to right what she had wronged.
This breaks my heart so much. Its not your fault, Maressa. Your actions did matter,, augh
“Many of us lived in Sootopolis Crater long, long ago, until we were invaded by outsiders. Our lives were sacrificed to create the Red and Blue Orbs. Our bodies were destroyed, but our spirits live on within the Orbs. We have been like this ever since, and we can never truly die.”
Ohhhh thats awful
I wish I didn’t live,
,,, ohhh... This line. Really hit hard. I think there's heart wrenching distinction made. Not "I wish I were dead" but "I wish I didn't live" which is its own kind of pain and not quite the same as wanting to die. She just doesn't want to keep going, to keep feeling, to keep existing this way.
“I don’t know how.”
:frown:
“He has just as much of a right to be angry as the rest of us—more than the rest of us. And yet, he’s not. He holds nothing against humans. His spirit is at peace; his body and mind are enslaved. He just wants to be set free.”
:frown:
“Who do you feel unable to forgive?”

The group of spirits parted to reveal a figure lying in their midst. It was the most miserable, wretched person that Maressa had ever seen: a woman sobbed her eyes out, holding herself in her heavily scarred arms.
Ohhh i hoped and thought it was leading here. I am a sucker for this trope, its true.

I sort of wish the scene had lingered even longer here but then again I am bias, I think what you have works well.
“Good luck, Maressa. We’ll see you again, soon.”
Even just one life... Ohh,,, Will this end with Maressa sacrificing herself??? Oh noo...

Reading this at work was a mistake lol, I was getting so emotional.

I am probably the exact target audience for this kind of stuff. I am obsessed with characters meeting creator-coded deities and also having spiritual moments. I didn't find it cheesy at all! Though thanks to my terrible memory some of the names are lost to me. I'm glad Maressa got to have a moment of peace and finally make a true real choice for herself. Not dragged along, not forced into a horrible situation, but really truly having a choice between remaining and returning to the fight.

I love her so much.
I do have a whole seperate series of thoughts about forgiveness and fiction and stories but I think maybe its too IRL. I do like though the idea that here the focus is presented much more on not holding a grudge, which I find to be correct. The path to letting that go is a very hard one, but I believe is really important. And that also means not holding a grudge against yourself. And seeing Maressa finally let that go was so good after all this time and all this suffering.

Not too get overly person but self hatred and holding a grudge is so destructive, and it was so well portrayed here. Her thought processes and behaviours leading up to this are really authentic and I connected with her a lot.

Also I love the whole bit where the spirit offers her the choice to stay. I love characters getting a choice to "stay" and realizing that they don't want to stay and want to keep going, keep fighting, even though they thought they didn't. Maressa is so strong and she just doesn't realize it.

They had come for her—her friends!

Sharpedo growled. They had cleared the wreckage! They were ready to help her out and set her free.

And now they could all be together again! Seaking added. They were glad Maressa was okay.

Lanturn chirped gently. They knew Maressa was going through a lot, but they would do whatever it took to help her. None of them would leave her to fight on her own.
YEEEE

Also so many reunions, these poor guys kept getting seperated
it would take her too long to swim down there.
Would it? Given how fast she seem to move before, this felt hard to believe, but then I guess I dont know how fast subs dive compared to her powered up form, eheh
“I’m not coming back.”
:cry:
the little metal pods connected to the submarine: a diving bell.
weird quirk but feels like "the" diving bell would make more sense, its been referenced like two or three times earlier so we know what it is.
His smile widened—then looked slightly taken aback as she took his hands and placed them on either side of her face, still holding his gaze. Taking his face in her hands, she stood up on her tiptoes and touched her lips to his.
:unquag:
She activated the controls, and the diving bell detached from the ship, shooting towards the surface.
😭
Tabitha was very unfamiliar with Water-type Pokemon and didn’t know how they normally expressed sadness—whether they whined like Mightyena or sobbed like humans.
Aww I do like this, this reminder of how different pokemon species emote different. Also, ooof ouch just rip my heart out huh.
Tabitha looked at the ash-filled sky under a burning sun. Was this what Maxie wanted?
There was nothing to stop Tabitha now.
Finally dude. Go do your own thing, it doesn't matter what Maxie wanted. Make your own choices!
And as she thought of them, the more certain she felt that she did not want to stop living.
😭
“I’m not ready to die,” she whispered.
“I’m not ready to die,” she said firmly, “but I will.”
Ouuuuhhh I love this. The choice to do something, believe something, act on something in spite of fear.

Also I love characters realizing they don't actually want to die once staring down death. Its heartbreaking but also a little cathartic and touching.

You don't want to die, you just don't want to keep living like this. But she was willing to sacrifice herself.
Her footsteps were slow, her blonde hair flowing out behind her.
Oooooo Moana energy moment right here, I love it.
Two giant, ghastly hands gripped the edges of the platform, and the face of a woman—though she was more like a goddess—appeared as she lifted the platform Maressa was on. The ground shifted and churned; dust and ash filled the water as the bottom of the Cave of Origin rose, growing higher and higher through the water column, pushed upwards by the giant woman with hibiscus flowers in her hair, leaving behind the dark abyss of death and growing ever closer towards the radiant sunlight.
:wowzard: Phoebe!? I love this, so cool
“Maressa—you’re—you’re alive!
OOHHHHHHH YAAAAAYYYY
She made it to the water first. Leaping in, she wrapped her arms around Golduck, laughing and crying with utter joy. The other three crowded around them, forming a group hug.
YES LET HER HAVE HUGS UGH
You didn’t try to save your life. You were willing to give it up.”
:cry:😭I love characters being rewarded for an act of genuine sacrifice SO much. Also she deserves it

also, OhHH.. to save your life... LOSE IT. nice
“I could’ve stopped this
GIRL NO STOP. You literally DID
Shelly glared at Maressa. “You don’t agree with it, yet this is what you helped bring about. If you’re going to pick a side, Maressa, stick with it. Don’t go halfheartedly.”

Maressa stared back. “I’m not sorry for what I’ve done. All this needed to be stopped. Society isn’t right, this legal system isn’t right—but it’s better than being destroyed by two fighting gods.
Shut up Shelly. Don't try and gaslight my girl, coward.

I'm glad Maressa had the backbone to refute her here.
In spite of the darkest nights, she knew that with the dawn would come an ever more glorious sunrise.
AAAAUUUGGHGHHHH Its finally done.

What a lovely ending overall, and a good message. We can't keep running or hiding if we want to fix things.

I really loved this whole fic, and I think it's wonderfully executed. It clearly feels like a story that is invested in exploring fear, trauma, forgiveness and grudges. About extremism, owning up to mistakes, and the dangers of cult-ish groups and how one can get drawn in. Also the allure of causing harm in the service of a supposed greater good... but its still all about power.

Maressa's journey from naivety to being broken to picking up the pieces is so well done. Also the way everyone feels characterized as an actual person and character with beliefs and goals, not evil but not good, broken and human. Good people capable of bad and bad people capable of good.

I also love the relationships between people and pokemon here, how pokemon feel perfectly alien but still intelligent and aware. And yet it does such a good job neither making pokemon poor woobies or vicious animals. The grounded take on battles is also super fun and fits well with the ecological undertones of the fic.

I also thought all the cool lore about the orbs, the Cave of Origin and how the orbs were made and Hoenn's history were great. Plays extremely well into the dangers of grudges and of dark histories and making past wrongs "right".

The order of scenes in the final bits makes sense. Starting from Derek in the diving bell is smart. Also I think trimming down the conflict works, we've been seeing them fight and go back and forth awhile, and Rayquaza basically shows up and tells them to shut up. So we don't really need a longer fight scene.

Honestly a fantastic fic. There's Flygon AND Crobat and Hoenn and conversations with ancient deities and heart and friendship.

:okgon:I love it, great job, you should be proud.

Putting this seperate in case you don't care to read now that this fic is done. I think the end overall is very good, and closes up basically any loose ends. Maressa gets to talk to Shelly and Tabitha and Derek a little. There's a tangible sense of non-resolution between her and Derek (which isn't bad imo, too hard to tie that up with a bow), and even time to reflect on why she lived. There's also a good sense that her trauma isn't magically gone or she's hunky dory but she's going to keep trying.

But... I was a tad disappointed? Not by the end itself overall, which is good. I just felt like i had hoped for something a bit different from the final few scenes. Paragraphs really. (the ending line is great though). Keep in mind I think the fic is fantastic overall and these are fairly minor quibbles all together!

This is partly preference but I have two quandries with the end.

First, I had hoped to get a better sense for how the world at large was adjusting to the situation. This story has always generally focused on Maressa and her journey, as well as Tabitha and Courtney and other characters. But I did want to see - Did people come together? Were rescue efforts and volunteer organizations rising up in the wake of the disaster? Derek was out hiking but like... thats it? Did he volunteer for some kind of red cross equivalent? I actually thought he might be out searching for missing persons! I think its fine if he's not it just. felt very odd unless I missed something. A mini apocolypse happened! Maybe not a time for day hikes.

What about the League? They just lost their champion, and Phoebe. Have they resolved to change and lead the world better? Are they spearheading rescue efforts and pledging to be better? I had hoped for a newscast or epilogue that might address a little bit of the grand scale change for Hoenn. Maressa is making choices but what about everyone else? I usually really enjoy seeing how in the aftermath of a disaster people can come together.

By no means do you have to but some stuff that comes to mind to address this:
- A news report Maressa catches part of that covers an announcement from the League/Wallace
- Tabitha mentioning how he saw lots of people on the streets helping each other, maybe some gang person he knew handing out water, ways in which people became kinder
- Derek mentioning about rescue efforts or medic work he's helping with (or has heard of if hes tired of it ahah)
- Ways in which the ecosystem may have the first hints of change or pokemon helping out with stuff (like working together to clear debris, like how Maressa's mon realized they could work as a unit during the fight)

Second... I found it super weird that the last several paragraphs of the end we basically don't see Maressa's pokemon at all. I was kind of disappointed... I think her and Golduck walking into the sunset would be sweet. They were so integral to everything that there absense in the last few bits felt super bummer. Especially the best duck!

I'm bias I guess lol but I wanted him to be at Maressa's side, as I think they reminder of their friendship and bond would echo the earlier scene where she and Tabitha reflect on how their pokemon are different but are still their best friends, and add to the message overall of hope for progress and change.

Anyways, yeah, those are my two hiccups. As I said though the overall fic and end are super good and I loved it, and I'm so glad I got to read this. Got me real choked up and emotional and it was very well done.
 
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