Destiny Village ~ Sundae Park

[Adamhuarts]

"Hm?" Cynthian glanced at Soul blankly at first, but then smiled when she recognized them.

"Oh, hello. Soul, right? Ivy talks a lot about you. Thanks for being her friend," she said with a chuckle. "So, how can I help you?"

 

[Shiny Phantump]

Soul suddenly felt shy. Like when she was a Vulpix without a sense of self...

Well, that was why they needed to talk to Cynthian... The past few week had been quite beneficial, but they hadn't fixed everything about that lack of self. Not yet.

"I was wondering about... well, you, sort of. I'm trying to put the last pieces of my identity together. I was wondering about... Well, since I'm really just made of goop, I have to decide upon a gender for myself. I know you did that as well. I was wondering how one does that?"

 

[Adamhuarts]

"Oh..." Cynthian brought up bouquet to her chin and thought. She certainly hadn't expected such a question from anyone, but she understood the feeling of having an uncertain identity all too well.

"You're like Ivy then. You probably didn't inherit much from Celeste at all... Come, why don't we talk while we sit?" Cynthian asked, scooting over on the bench for Soul.

"How much have you been thinking about your identity? When you think about yourself, and what you want to be, what resonates with you the most?"

 

[Shiny Phantump]

Soul sat down on the bench. "I want... To not have to worry anymore. Confidence in myself and my abilities. I've gotten better with that than I was before. But, still, I've ways to go yet."

They sighed, "I guess that's what I find appealing in magic. It's a reason to have faith in my ability to carve a path for myself."

 

[Adamhuarts]

"Confidence in yourself and your abilities?" Cynthian hummed with intrigue. Come to think of it, hadn't that been the reason why she accepted Diyem's call to worldsaving? Though he asked under false pretenses to save his girl...

"In what way do you feel lacking in your confidence? How does that tie to your perceived gender?" Cynthian asked with a head tilt.

 

[Shiny Phantump]

Soul started at the ground. "Well, I was pretty helpless at first. I figured something out while fighting Red, but it seems to take a lot out of Celeste, so I don't think I can do it too often. I don't know how people really perceive me, though. They can't really see my gender but some of them guess anyways. They all guess differently.

 

[Adamhuarts]

"It's not about how others see you. It's about how you see yourself." Cynthian half shrugged as she hummed. "At least that's how it works when it comes to my kind."

 

[Shiny Phantump]

"How I see myself... affects what people perceive me as? My feelings are just... I don't have any experience with it, so I don't know how to interpret them. Maybe that's why nobody else does, either."

 

[Adamhuarts]

"To be fair, you familiars have only been around for a few months. For those of you who didn't inherit strong identities from your hosts, struggling with your identities is natural." Cynthian patted them on the shoulder in hopes to bring them some comfort.

"Think of yourself as a flower bud." Cynthian said, plucking one off a nearby shrub. "Not of any specific flower, but just a bud. You don't know what you'll bloom into. But as you gain more experience, explore new things, and explore yourself..." Cynthian channeled some energy into the bud, and it unfurled gently into a daisy in full bloom.

"So, for now you should just live your life and appreciate the things you experience. It may take months or years before you figure yourself out, but I promise you that you will someday."

 

[Shiny Phantump]

Soul sighed, "I suppose. I want it to be over, though. I thought becoming a Ninetales was near the end of it. I thought I was close."

 

[Adamhuarts]

"Maybe you are. Everyone gets to bloom when their time comes," Cynthian said with a reassuring smile. It was the same advice Mama Rosa used to give her in the past. Hopefully, it'll bring Soul assurance when their time came too.

<><><><>

 

[Namohysip]

Off to the far side of the park there was a small, secluded but dense forested area that Pokemon sometimes went to explore in private. Usually pairs, or sometimes alone for a nice walk. In Owen's case, he'd gone there for something a little more natural than the training rooms, which always made him feel a little confined and closed off. This time, however, Owen had come with a friend... sort of. He had gone into the Colosseum to buy an ultra-sturdy Substitute doll.

Deep within the dark forest, plumes of fire occasionally lit up the forest depths...

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Brisa loped through the park on one of what were becoming her habitual jaunts. It turned out that keeping her training semi-social and pacing the city park were what worked for her, so here she was, patrolling at the crack of dawn. Just like back home, except it was her choice, and not out of duty.

The plumes of fire sent her into that ranger mindset for a moment—what damn fool is kicking up smoke this time—but reason told her that this was Cibus, not home. It was probably some keen battler hopped up on training urges, testing new techniques. Some queer fire-type who maybe went a bit hard in the training rooms.

Yeah, it was probably Owen.

She followed her nose until she found the source of the elemental attacks. There he was.

"Howdy, partner. Y'alright?"

 

[Namohysip]

Feral snarls and snorts answered Brisa as a creature that went on all fours stared back at her. Fiery jaws were latched onto a large Substitute doll which had been shredded and burned in so many places, ethereal mist bleeding away at its form. His pupils dilated at Brisa and he spread his wings, snarling something else at her, guttural noises that were far too primal to be civilized.

Seconds later, Owen shook his head and dropped the doll like a baby Houndour. He said a few more things in jagged growls before clearing his throat. "I mean, uh, hi, Brisa," he said, raising his left hand from the ground, which had been behaving like a quasi-foreleg. "I was just... training..." As usual, Owen wasn't a good liar.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Owen swerved directly for Brisa next, mouth agape with flames.

Breathe. Just breathe.

It's just like in the Voidlands. That killin' instinct's in him.

She trusted him then, she'd trust him now.

"Y'were ready to kill," she said, quietly. Without judgment; without deceit. "Like y'were when we last fought."

 

[Namohysip]

"N-no, I--I'm in control of that now," Owen said. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I know that--ugh." He rubbed his forehead, stretching so he could get back onto a standing position. "I was... I was just letting off some steam," he admitted, kicking the doll until it was out of sight so Brisa didn't have to see it. It rolled behind one of the nearby trees with odd, casual precision. Owen was probably aware of every little thing around him. Every beat of Brisa's heart, every blink and twitch...

"It's just something that I work out when I can. The substitute dolls aren't that expensive. I help out in town with odd-jobs since... well, I mean, I don't feel right putting that on the Guild tab." And he didn't want Maple questioning why it was on there in the first place. He knew they kept purchase records.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"It's good that yer in control. Good that y'have a way to work it out."

She walked forward, fighting her own instincts.

"Sounds like you're keepin' it largely to yerself, though. You're . . . a really earnest fella, Owen. Y'sure it wouldn't help t'have someone t'talk to about this stuff? I told you it could wait until we were safe. Well, now's as good a time as any, 'less you needed to do some more of that fer a bit?"

 

[Namohysip]

Owen seemed attentive, but his eyes occasionally darted around to seemingly random parts of the forest. A gust of wind had made some of the leaves move in an odd way. Occasionally Owen's pupils seemed to trace along the fur on Brisa's head rather than her eyes proper.

"I'm..." Owen shook his head. "I'm okay. I don't need... more of that." His flame dimmed and he held one arm with his hand. "...I don't... like when people see me that way. It's not... against any of you, I..."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Brisa nodded, and took a seated position close by him.

"If it's any help, I still see ya as you."

She ran her penetrating gaze over him, thinking about how the perception of form informed the perception of nature. How Owen's tailflame was an indicator of his emotions. How when she saw the tissue damage beneath his scales from his too-sudden growth, she could guess that he'd been in pain at the time, might still be in pain now.

"Pretty sure y'told me once—or someone told me you said—that you're choosin' to be the earnest idealist, despite yer true feelings bein' vicious or paranoid deep down. Just 'cause I know that stuff exists, don't mean y'ain't the same Owen I call friend."

 

[Namohysip]

Owen's body was built like it had been designed meticulously by the cold had of nature, and then further augmented by some hand of madness for some other purpose. Mutant indeed--he was not something geared for nature, but the supernatural. His flesh was strained but it was healing; his bones were solid and the worst injuries on him were from the battle against Red. And, knowing Owen, he probably liked the pain, and simply never told anyone out loud.

"Y-yeah." And the Charizard nodded, carefully stepping toward Brisa. His flame was calmer. It didn't give off an oppressive heat, but a gentle, perhaps grateful warmth. It was a welcome change from the winter's depths.

"...I always liked to battle," he admitted. "But something back home changed me. It... enhanced, no, it just emphasized that part of me. To the core of my brain, maybe even my spirit. And then something went wrong, and for a while I wasn't able to control it at all. I-I'm glad I'm not like that here. I think the Shadows grounded me. I wonder if... Diyem knew. And maybe he tried to suppress that in advance. He seems to know a lot about me...

"That's kind of it," Owen said. There seemed to be a lot more to the story, but he also seemed honest--that it all wasn't important on Cibus. "It's not natural. But it's what I have... A-and thanks for. You know." His lip quivered a little. "For still being there anyway."