Destiny Colosseum ~ Training Rooms

[Flyg0n]

She'd told him. Yet still he'd let himself get carried away like that. He needed to control it. But what could he focus on? He hardly had any friends here. He was friendly with a few of the others, yes. Shiron seemed nice. Icetales had encouraged him, and Brisa was... well she was his mentor, his teacher. Some part of him wanted to call them friends. To call Brisa a friend. She was so cool.

They don't know you though.

And maybe it was better that way. To just be... allies. If they didn't know him, he would never get made fun of, or mocked. All that mattered was here, and now. Training.

"How do you focus?" he asked finally, his tone somber. There was still shame in his eyes, but behind that, a determination lingered as well.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Depends," she said, sincerely. "I gave a couple of examples jus' now, but another thing that helps is t'think of friends who need me t'keep my shit t'gether. Friends who wouldn't want me hurtlin' outta control. If it gets real bad, I focus on... Well. Times I've seen it go wrong."

Brisa barely had time to panic. The light inside her grew brighter than she was durable and her body ruptured outwards, in an explosion of radiant light. The electric surge fizzled out. The radiant bars flickered into nothing.

More Radiant bars sizzled into place, around Starr, yes, but around Brisa too. They were locked together in inescapable melee, claws and teeth meeting fur and flesh, over and over. The energy sizzled on all sides, bright enough to blind.

"We can't afford fer ya to be laid up in bed after every fight. And the explosions are gettin' stronger every time." They could get so strong they kill you. "Lettin' yerself get so overtaken by the radiance every time... it's..." It scares me, that you might not recover.

"More'n once," she said, quietly. "But it's a worthwhile tool, if'n ya use it wisely. I know y'can do that, Koa."

 

[Flyg0n]

Koa nodded in understanding. He could do that. For Icetales, for Brisa and more importantly for this world. He'd come here to save it, and he intended to do that.
"I won't let you down," Koa said, some of his confidence returning. He paused for a moment to cement the memory of what that had felt like.
Then he sorted to himself, a slight smile forming on his jaws. "Guess I was being pretty ridiculous, huh? You're an attacker but I kept trying to weaken your special moves." He chuckled to himself and shook his head.

"Now what though? Are we... Done training?" He hoped not, but he also wouldn't be surprised if Brisa decided to call it quits because of him.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Brisa couldn't help but give a sharp chuckle. They had the room booked for a full hour yet, what did he take her for?

"No way. We both have energy and there's more to be taught. How about y'try Shadow next? It's another powerful but risky and uncomfortable asset, same as Radiance. An' yeah, ya oughta know better'n to hit me with magic-weakeners, but y'ain't tryin' to beat me, yer tryin' t'get stronger. And you are."

 

[Flyg0n]

A tiny grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. Brisa thought he was improving. Warmth spread through his chest. The praise felt so good. Made him feel like he could do anything.

"I'm ready. Show me how to use Shadow."

He recalled Brisa mentioning it last time, how it was fuelled by hidden emotions or something. The thought made him uncomfortable but he ignored that. He'd figure out a way. His way.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

It was a bit of an emotional sprain to go straight from watching for Koa's spiking Radiance to coaching him in weaponised trauma, but... Yeah, she could handle it. The team needed exotic moves to beat their opponents.

"Okay. Fer all that I act like I got my shit t'gether, I also got some dark fuckin' feelings goin' on in the back of my head. Like..." – oh thunder this was gonna be uncomfortable – "I spent a spell thinkin' I bore a responsibility to fix everyone's problems and work myself half to death. And underneath that belief..."

"We were miserable. Resentful of an expectation nobody put on us but ourselves."

Once again, her Shadow was beside her. Audible to the team, separate from her body, empowered by her visit to the Voidlands. Sombra.

"There ain't a one who can carry the burden of everythin' at once. Tryin' will getcha burnt out an' exhausted."

Hmph. It wasn't wrong, but it still felt like recrimination. From herself. Augh, Shadows.

"Be as that may, it's those feelings that lemme charge up my moves . . . at the price of burnin' out real fast if I do it too much."

 

[Flyg0n]

Sombra's words sent chills down his spine. The way she spoke, she she carried herself, so weary. Was that how Brisa felt? Like she had to help everyone but get nothing?

What about you? Think she'd want to help someone like you? Koa pushed the thought aside. He had nothing to hide from, he was fine.

Koa nodded in understanding, grim seriousness in his eyes, his gaze locked onto Sombra. Even though he'd even seen the same thing with Icetales, seeing shadows was still so odd. Curious, yet scary too. "So shadow works by... focusing on what you're upset about?"

You know that's not it.

He ignored the tiny voice in the back of his mind. "Like... stuff that bothers you?" He forced himself to appear as relaxed as he could. This was just another normal practice.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Nah, that ain't it exactly," drawled Brisa. "Shadow works off of negative feelin', sure, but mostly the stuff y'push down, that y'don't express. Everyone's got some. Even Cabot – though his seems pretty low-key. Just impatience, mostly."

"Why're ya so eager t'prove yerself to us?" asked Sombra, abruptly. "There somethin' y'gotta make up fer?"

He'll deflect fer ever if y'don't force the issue.

As much as Brisa didn't love the idea of her Shadow tackling this on her behalf... There was no better way to normalise engaging with Shadow. Alright. She'd let Sombra take this one.

 

[Flyg0n]

Koa listened intently to Brisa. Unease lingered in the back of his mind but he ignored it. Brisa was wrong on this, he was sure. He was low-key, like that Cabot fellow. There wasn't much he was pushing down. Everything was fine, he was happy on his journey, he was getting stronger, he had friends, and his team. He was fine.

The reason he'd come to Cibus was just because he wanted to help, that was all.

Then Sombra spoke up.

"Why're ya so eager t'prove yerself to us?" asked Sombra, abruptly. "There somethin' y'gotta make up fer?"

The prick of unease grew, then spread over his whole body.

Make up for? How about-

Koa shook his head stiffly. "No." His voice sounded way too high pitched and forced. Taking a deep breath, though trying his best not to show it, he relaxed and cleared his throat. Then he continued, his voice casual and unbothered. "No, not really. I just want-"

To show everyone you're not a bad person? That you're good and decent and you can be trusted? That you can help people, save this world? That you're not like him?

"-to catch up with the team. I want to help Cibus, and I know I have to be strong to do that." Yes, that was all. Simple.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Really?" insisted the shackled Shadow. "Y'don't got any fears ya have trouble admittin' to? Y'ain't insecure about nothin'? Maybe . . . guilt? Shame? There's somethin'. I don't buy that yer the only perfectly-adjusted fella that was ever born, Koa."

Those eyes were blank gold. Hard to tell where they were looking, visually. To Koa, it may have felt like they were looking directly at his soul.

 

[Flyg0n]

Koa looked every where he could, except Sombra. He couldn't quite bring himself to make eye contact with her eerie golden gaze. Instead, he tried his hardest to stare anywhere else. Why couldn't she just stop talking and leave him alone? There wasn't anything he had troube admitting to.

If you'd been better you could have stopped things from going how they did. You weren't good enough. You need to be better. You have to perfect. That's the only way.

"I mean. I'm not perfectly adjusted." He shrugged. "But you know, there's nothing major." He offered a smile, one that was confident and well-adjusted. "I guess back home I started on my journey and I was kinda a not so great trainer, but thats in the past, you know?"

She probably wouldn't buy that though. But it was true. What else was there?

The best lies are partial truths.

He took a steadying breath "I suppose like anyone else, I don't like losing. I want to be strong."

Just like him.

Quite suddenly, he was beginning to regret training. His gaze flickered briefly towards the exit. Could he pretend to be sick or make an excuse to leave?

Coward. Brisa would be ashamed. Running away.

Maybe he could find a another way to use these shadow powers. All he had to do was activate them for a little bit and then he could leave, right?

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"How come it matters so much t'be strong, kid? Y'got somethin' y'wanna be strong enough to do? Someone y'wanna be stronger than?"

Sombra advanced on Koa, treading softly on the training room floor, her paws not quite making contact with the synthetic surface. As if her body had no real mass, no weight.

"Why d'you think I look like this, Koa? I was just fourteen when things went wrong fer me. When my own father did somethin' t'me that shaped me fer my whole life t'come. Diyem wouldn't've brought you here if there were nothin'. So what the hell is it, Koamaru of Canalave?"

 

[Flyg0n]

Koa stood stiff, trying not to move. Don't back down, don't back down.

I was just fourteen when things went wrong fer me. When my own father did somethin

Fourteen. She's not so different from you. Just say something, coward. Except what happened is your fault. If you were better or stronger or smarter he wouldn't have done it. You should have saved him. You weren't enough.

"I need to save Cibus." His words caught in his throat. He looked away, unnerved and uneasy. He couldn't look at Sombra. "I have to. If... If I can save Cibus, save another world..."

You can make up for him? Make up for failing? You never will.

The words burned in his throat. He took another step back and stared at the ground. "I have to make up what for what he did," he muttered the words so low they were barely audible.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Koa didn't have to save Cibus alone, that was why he was part of a team. If he could only understand that— But Sombra needed to draw out the darkness. Give the kid an opportunity to see that it was even there. She'd have to impress upon him that he could depend on the team later.

Take yer own advice.

"What did he do?" pressed her Shadow. "Tell me, Koa. Tell me what he did."

 

[Flyg0n]

Don't think about it, Don't think about it.

He didn't want to remember any of it, he hated thinking about any of it if he just ignored it he wouldn't have to. His chest felt tight. Wisps of shadow gathered around his feet.

He did it because of you Koa.

"My...fa-" he couldn't say the word. "He..."

Stop lying. You know who he is. Who you are. Just admit it.

"I..." his voice hitched. Say it, coward! "I couldn't stop it," he snarled. "I couldn't stop him."

His breathing grew heavier, his words tumbling out. "I let him. He tried to rewrite my entire universe using the legendaries. Because it wasn't perfect."

Darkness clouded his vision. "Because I wasn't perfect!" He roared.

Shadowy electricity crackled over his body.

That's right. You'll never be. You're lucky legendaries were there to save your universe. You couldn't do enough before, and you can't do it now. Cibus is worse off with you here.

His lips curled into a disdainful scowl and his gaze grew cold, emotion slowly draining from his eyes.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Sombra's intensity shifted, and her sorrow and fatigue seemed never to have left.

"There it is," she said. "What it hurts you t'believe you are."

Brisa stepped forward, mind clicking into combat mode. There was no risk of explosion; this was a safer scenario. If he frenzied, she could call him to his senses while restrained . . . or knock him out.

"Koa. I need to see what yer capable of. Show me."

She dashed forward, not giving him time to overthink the lightning at her teeth.

 

[Flyg0n]

Koa didn't think. He didn't need to. Brisa was fast. Time to make her weak; slow her down. He danced backward, surety in his steps. "You want me to show you what I'm capable of?"

Do it Koa. Tear her down.

Easy enough. Shadows rippled over his form, gathering around his jaws.

"You're weak, Brisa!" A malicious smile pulled at the corners of his jaws. "Weak in spirit! Can't help yourself, can you? Running yourself ragged because you want people to like you, but they never will."

|Koa used Shadow Browbeat!|

No, no this wrong- This is right, this is who you are. No it's not Then why does it feel good? Look how strong you are.

Shadows crackled over his body, strengthening him. He prowled around Brisa, pawsteps light, keeping a distance, using every advantage.

"Aren't you tired? Just give up." His tone had turned cool and effortless, as if he were stating a simple fact.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

The Shadow-energy sapped at Brisa's fortitude, physically and mentally. The next magical attack would hurt a lot worse, now. The words, too... She hadn't thought Koa capable of a verbal snipe like that. Weak in spirit. It felt true. It felt . . . hard to resist. It hurt.

Can't help yourself, can you?

"You need to learn some responsibility before you lose control."

It was a good technique.

"I'm always tired, kid," she said, sighing. "Looks like y'can sap an opponent's resolve. It won't win you many friends, but it's a valuable ability."

The kid was kiting her hard, using every trick she'd taught him. Good form. She could be proud of him, if it weren't for the contempt in his eyes.

"Hmph. Let's see what else y'got in ya."

Brisa struck out at Koa as he circled her, and kept up the pressure. No Radiant tethers. Staying Shadow-type would keep the damage from a Shadow attack low, if he went for one. Darkness kissed her jaws as she made one vicious strike and then another.

"Who are you when yer backed into a corner, Koa? I'll find out. I always find out."

"I always find out."

 

[Flyg0n]

All the time, all the energy he spent tearing himself down, reminding himself how he was never good enough. How he couldn't do enough. It felt good turning that away. Directing it anyone but himself.

It eased the dark voice in the back of his head.

And it was working. Brisa had slowed. Not by a lot, but certainly by some. Enough, though. He dodged one of her blows and leaped back, though she advanced, striking him solidly. Snarling, he stumbled back.

Why'd you do it Koa? Why'd you hurt her? Is it because your true colors are showing? Suddenly, he felt a wall behind him.

Show her.

Haven't you done enough?

She wants to see more so bad, show her!

Shadows swirled around Koa's form, growing intensity. A snarl rumbled in his throat. He took a half step back, though not out of fear. His stance lowered. Brisa was close now.

"You're not enough, Koa."
"He couldn't stand you."
"The world is You're imperfect, flawed."
"You're just like him."

You know who you are now, don't you?

His gaze locked with Brisa, cold and unfeeling, though there was something else. Something behind that lifeless gaze. They glistened in the light, almost as if with tears. His body shuddered ever so slighty and then-

"I'm a monster!" his words came out as a roar, a pulse of shadow energy erupting from his body with his cry. "I like hurting people. I like seeing them weak! I like it and I'm tired of trying to pretend to be good when I'm not!" With each cry he channeled another wave of shadow energy at Brisa.

"That's who I am!"

And that's all you'll ever be. Koamaru, son of Cyrus.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

I'm a monster!

He was a kid, shoved into a new body and a new world, and told to fight gods. What could he possibly have done at such a young age for it to be true? How could he believe something like that?

But hadn't she, too, believed something like that?

"I'm the only one who fuckin' deserves to die alone here with my regrets."

"I hurt people, 'cause I'm just a violent fuckin' animal and that's why I've always been alone!"

"I'm dangerous. I shouldn't... I shouldn't be around people."

And... That hadn't been true. It had felt that way, yes, but she'd kept going, with friends at her side with her and she'd learned better. That a scared kid who wanted to do right by folks was no monster. She was no monster.

"I'm not a violent animal, Pa. Never was."

And neither was Koa. Brisa weathered the attacks, Shadow energy billowing about her, from herself and from Koa. She focused. Grounded herself. Let the outcry of shame and anger wash over her, and walked forward. Into the heart of it.

Don't leave me. Don't turn on me. I don't wanna lose one more friend.