Spiteful Murkrow
Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
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Heya, it’s a bit of a tradition of mine to go around just before and just after Review Blitz every year to give responses to fics that I don’t have plans to update further down the road. Review Blitz isn’t here for a few more days, but I figured it’d be as good a time as any to tidy things up on that front for this story:
@Joshthewriter
Nah, no worries. And thanks for being a trooper and being patient with this response. ^^;
It helps that my day job is semi-related to the ones that this story’s protags have. I literally got the idea based off of an ancient contest prompt on Serebii in the leadup to ORAS’ launch to write a one-shot about Hoenn, and I did. In multiple senses of the term, even if it didn’t quite make the submission deadline or land in a one-shot format.
What can I say? I’m a sucker for worldbuilding, so in general I try to make the worlds of my stories feel like they’re living and breathing. Glad to hear that it also came through for you here in this one.
I mean, there’s a few things that will hit differently if you do have knowledge, but based off past feedback, the story is still enjoyable even if you don’t have any going into it, as you seemed to have gathered with your readthrough.
Such is life when this story is one part meta gags and one part love letter to the franchise’s history, really. :V
I’m definitely glad to hear that one, since it validates my decision to go back and write a v2 of this story. The original version wasn’t quite as polished as the one that you read here, and left a few moments on the table, so it’s pleasant to hear that going back to spit shine and expand things landed well for you.
I mean, I don’t think Keita imagined that happening to him either prior to it happening, especially as a new hire.
I mean, just about every Pokémon would be a risk around delicate electronics. What’s a little water thrown into the mix? o<o
She’s meant to be a young Tropius, yes, as the story’s banner art likely tipped you off. Though to be fair, aside from having trouble getting past the door, one would think that a 2m tall creature could fit fine in a hotel room.
>by the end of the fic
More like by the start of the next chapter, but yeah. That was kinda unavoidable.
I mean, it did feel like something that a programmer might name a Pokémon, so…
And I’m glad to hear that things hit their mark for a reader not heavily into programming. It was a bit of a balancing act trying to build a story around a niche subject, but glad to hear that you could still follow along with it.
I mean, it was probably a little different from this in reality, but yeah. That was indeed a reference to the loss of backwards compatibility going into RSE.
It’s confirmed by the developers that they have done this for at least some games. Pokémon X/Y in particular had its world designed in the wake of an excursion like this, granted, most likely much earlier in development.
And your review has been a blast to read thus far!
Yeah, I forget the specific meme that I took that from since it’s been over a decade, but it was hilarious then, and it’s still hilarious now, thus why I had to make a nod to it. :V
It was indeed, yes. There is a lot of beta content that is nodded to over the course of this story (including the “Capsule Monster” designs, to boot!)
Alas, that was a wholecloth creation for this story and to get in a few trumpets memes. Though it at least isn’t impossible that something like that happened in real life.
Yeah, that’s just software development in general. There are some times when the project just needs to be done, even if it means pulling long or irregular hours. The game industry is particularly notorious for it since it happens a bit more often than among software developers in other fields.
Guess that’s a sign that I did my job with characterization in this story, then. ^^
The power of determination and comedic refuge in audacity. (My record from personal experience was somewhere between 35-40, and yes, you do indeed feel absolutely dead after such stretches.) :V
Yeeeeeah, they really should throw in something beyond the little diploma one of these games. Not that it didn’t make for bait for a funny gag here.
A little of column A, a little of column B, with some PokéAni-esque vibes thrown in for the ride. Though glad to hear that
I mean, it only took…
- checks notes -
Eight years after original publishing to come up with it, but it was the 20th anniversary of RS’ original release and gave me an opportunity to tie up some things that a few reviewers felt were loose ends of the original, so good enough, really.
Glad to hear that dynamic came through for you. It was a bit of a balancing act for how to handle things for Keita’s Hoenn since throughout the franchise, the series has always had a “twenty minutes into the future” aesthetic, but hey. The original games had CRTs lying around while modern ones have holographic displays, so I figured that just leaning into how the depicted technology in the games changed would sell the idea of about a decade passing well enough.
Yeah, I’m not sure how much of that is due to the premise and how much is from a dash of dumb luck, but I’m glad to hear that those nods felt organic to you. I suppose I also should be thankful to my beta readers since any of the clunkier moments got weeded out pretty fast after their feedback.
I mean, hey, I did say that I wrote this epilogue in part to resolve a loose end to the story. (For reference, they’re deliberately named in the style of the e-Reader card series for RS.) ^^
And I’m glad to hear that the second part of the epilogue had that effect, since that effect was indeed what I was aiming for.
And thanks again for the review! I’m glad to hear you had fun with this story, and will be looking forward to your reactions if you choose to poke around a few others of mine that I’ve got lying around.
Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed this story, and I’ll be looking forward to replying to some more of these as they roll in in the future. ^^
@Joshthewriter
Long awaited and finally here, I’m finally finally reading again!
Apologies that it took so long, but I’m sure you’ve seen some of my IRL issues on the discord lately and it’s been a rough go. But, I’m here now and no more excuses!
Nah, no worries. And thanks for being a trooper and being patient with this response. ^^;
Chapter 1
I never really considered a story from the perspective of Game Freak in-universe. They exist in the games, literally as video game developers, and you pulled an entire story out of it.
It helps that my day job is semi-related to the ones that this story’s protags have. I literally got the idea based off of an ancient contest prompt on Serebii in the leadup to ORAS’ launch to write a one-shot about Hoenn, and I did. In multiple senses of the term, even if it didn’t quite make the submission deadline or land in a one-shot format.
I really like the sense of “this is a real and living world” that you instilled. Almost off the opening word I get the sense that there’s more than just the protagonist and their story going on in this world, something I really appreciate in smaller works like this.
What can I say? I’m a sucker for worldbuilding, so in general I try to make the worlds of my stories feel like they’re living and breathing. Glad to hear that it also came through for you here in this one.
I’m not a programmer and I have utterly no coding knowledge, so I’m probably going to miss out on some of the Easter eggs and references, but I do get some programmer humour jokes from general osmosis off of Reddit. Here’s hoping it doesn’t go over my head.
I mean, there’s a few things that will hit differently if you do have knowledge, but based off past feedback, the story is still enjoyable even if you don’t have any going into it, as you seemed to have gathered with your readthrough.
Ha! I like the Celadon Eevee reference. And the reference to the original rocky development path of the first two gens. Nice little touches.
Such is life when this story is one part meta gags and one part love letter to the franchise’s history, really. :V
This is absurdly polished tbh. It’s so buttery smooth and flows gorgeously. This is one of the reasons I love your writing, everything is so refined and polished that it’s always a smooth read (probably helps to be able to refine these stories over time lol).
I’m definitely glad to hear that one, since it validates my decision to go back and write a v2 of this story. The original version wasn’t quite as polished as the one that you read here, and left a few moments on the table, so it’s pleasant to hear that going back to spit shine and expand things landed well for you.
Chapter 2
I cannot imagine having to share a room with the project director. Talk about nerve wracking. It would be absolute torture for me lol.
I mean, I don’t think Keita imagined that happening to him either prior to it happening, especially as a new hire.
A corphish… does not seem the best choice for a programmer tbh. Though, I bet you’ll show why Keito has Bracket around before long. Just seems like a risk to keep a feisty water type around all those electronics.
I mean, just about every Pokémon would be a risk around delicate electronics. What’s a little water thrown into the mix? o<o
Yeah, Imma bet right now that Keito isn’t gonna be able to just let that lone tropius go. Your stories (and this protagonist tbh) have too much heart for that. One of the reasons I enjoy them so much, they really do capture the emotional moments amazingly.
Lol I called it. The very next scene, Keito’s taking in the tropius. I see you’ve gone with the game scale as well (or it’s just a very young tropius), cuz otherwise I don’t know how a tropius is fitting in the room lol.
She’s meant to be a young Tropius, yes, as the story’s banner art likely tipped you off. Though to be fair, aside from having trouble getting past the door, one would think that a 2m tall creature could fit fine in a hotel room.
Ah, and it ends as well as a “Dino in a hotel room” could be expected. Better than expected tbh, considering it was only a broken monitor. Mark my words, Keito’s getting that ball for the tropius by the end of the fic.
>by the end of the fic
More like by the start of the next chapter, but yeah. That was kinda unavoidable.
Chapter 3
Another coding name! I got that one!
I mean, it did feel like something that a programmer might name a Pokémon, so…
I do like the slowed down focus you’ve given to these programming sections. I don’t understand the intricacies of them, but it’s interesting nonetheless. More interesting than my attempts to learn how to code ever were. That’s a talent to make something so seemingly dry an integral part of the fic, and have it pay off!
Oh man, I don’t know programming (fuck thats a common refrain so far from me), but even I can tell that the issue you laid out is an enormous one. I vaguely remember hearing that this was a real issue for TPC, though I don’t entirely remember. Kudos for making this into a genuinely engaging story, I was not expecting it from the concept alone.
And I’m glad to hear that things hit their mark for a reader not heavily into programming. It was a bit of a balancing act trying to build a story around a niche subject, but glad to hear that you could still follow along with it.
Ah and now I remember! This was the reason for the Gen 3 removal of backwards compatibility.
I mean, it was probably a little different from this in reality, but yeah. That was indeed a reference to the loss of backwards compatibility going into RSE.
Hmmmmm… I wonder if the “take examples from our environment“ was a real occurence? You’ll have to shed some light on this for me, because I’m not up with the history of pokemon dev and it’s clear enough that you are lol.
It’s confirmed by the developers that they have done this for at least some games. Pokémon X/Y in particular had its world designed in the wake of an excursion like this, granted, most likely much earlier in development.
Either way, you’re doing a fantastic job at crafting an entertaining story out of a seemingly droll topic. I’m very very pleased!
And your review has been a blast to read thus far!
Chapter 4
(Note, this is where I took a break from writing this review for a month. Apologies again)
Oh man, this chapter was so fun. “Bump, wiggle, wiggle” lol, you got me chuckling good.
Yeah, I forget the specific meme that I took that from since it’s been over a decade, but it was hilarious then, and it’s still hilarious now, thus why I had to make a nod to it. :V
Hmmmmm. Was the 6 move limit actually a potential change that got nixed? (Googled and apparently it was). The right choice tbh, but I really do like the way you’re crafting the story of a game dev with clear cut events from irl.
It was indeed, yes. There is a lot of beta content that is nodded to over the course of this story (including the “Capsule Monster” designs, to boot!)
LOL the trumpet prank is glorious. You gotta tell me if that was a real thing (I’m gonna stop googling these or I’ll never finish this review).
Alas, that was a wholecloth creation for this story and to get in a few trumpets memes. Though it at least isn’t impossible that something like that happened in real life.
Chapter 5
Oh man, game dev sounds like hella frustrating work tbh. I’ve been there, chasing problems because you don’t know what the hell is causing it. Not a fun feeling, and a fantastic way to get me to relate to Keito.
Yeah, that’s just software development in general. There are some times when the project just needs to be done, even if it means pulling long or irregular hours. The game industry is particularly notorious for it since it happens a bit more often than among software developers in other fields.
I’ve said it before, you put so much heart and relateability into your fics and it’s always a treat. Keito exclaiming in joy and promising Paren whatever she wants is a fun treat too.
Guess that’s a sign that I did my job with characterization in this story, then. ^^
How in god’s name did Keito go 50 hours of no sleep while coding?!?! Fuck, I think thats the most impressive thing in this fic so far. I’d be absolutely dead.
The power of determination and comedic refuge in audacity. (My record from personal experience was somewhere between 35-40, and yes, you do indeed feel absolutely dead after such stretches.) :V
Chapter 6
I love the pokedex gag. Hilarious to be reminded how crappy the rewards for actually completing it are.
Yeeeeeah, they really should throw in something beyond the little diploma one of these games. Not that it didn’t make for bait for a funny gag here.
Ah you’re making me cry over Paren. Like I said, a ton of heart. Good banana Dino!
I am utterly amazed by this fic. It’s so wholesome and filled with unexpected humour and references to what I’m sure are mostly real events. I wonder, did you embellish anything for this story or was it pulled directly from IRL and given a pokemon skin?
A little of column A, a little of column B, with some PokéAni-esque vibes thrown in for the ride. Though glad to hear that
Chapter 7
Oh? An ORAS/XY epilogue? A nice treat!
I mean, it only took…
- checks notes -
Eight years after original publishing to come up with it, but it was the 20th anniversary of RS’ original release and gave me an opportunity to tie up some things that a few reviewers felt were loose ends of the original, so good enough, really.
I really like seeing how you meander through Lilycove with Keito as he gets nostalgic. Really parallels how a lot of players felt returning to Hoenn with ORAS. Probably a fair few of the devs as well.
One thing I really really like is just seeing the natural progression of time. It’s been a long time since these characters were here, and they’ve grown in that span. Yet, they’re still the same characters.
Glad to hear that dynamic came through for you. It was a bit of a balancing act for how to handle things for Keita’s Hoenn since throughout the franchise, the series has always had a “twenty minutes into the future” aesthetic, but hey. The original games had CRTs lying around while modern ones have holographic displays, so I figured that just leaning into how the depicted technology in the games changed would sell the idea of about a decade passing well enough.
As is usual for this fic, and you in general tbh, I adore the little references you slipped into the fic. This is part of how polished this fic is, but none of it seems forced. You aren’t screaming it at me, they’re just naturally there.
Yeah, I’m not sure how much of that is due to the premise and how much is from a dash of dumb luck, but I’m glad to hear that those nods felt organic to you. I suppose I also should be thankful to my beta readers since any of the clunkier moments got weeded out pretty fast after their feedback.
Chapter 8
Oh man, you absolutely CRANKED up the emotions for this second epilogue. It’s so clear how much passion you have for both pokemon and game dev in this one.
I mean, hey, I did say that I wrote this epilogue in part to resolve a loose end to the story. (For reference, they’re deliberately named in the style of the e-Reader card series for RS.) ^^
AWWWW YOU MAKE A SOFTY LIKE ME CRY
I know that I called Keito ending up catching the tropius. It’s still such a heartfelt and wholesome moment. You’re so good at capturing these, so good at filling your fics with emotional strength.
And I’m glad to hear that the second part of the epilogue had that effect, since that effect was indeed what I was aiming for.
Fantastic job with these two epilogues of tying up the story and ending on a high note. This is a great read and a truly engaging story.
Again, my apologies that this took so long to bang out. You did a great job here and you should be very proud!
And thanks again for the review! I’m glad to hear you had fun with this story, and will be looking forward to your reactions if you choose to poke around a few others of mine that I’ve got lying around.
Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed this story, and I’ll be looking forward to replying to some more of these as they roll in in the future. ^^