Hey all! As the results for the 2025 oneshot contest have been posted, I'm free to upload my own entry. It also happened to win second place in one of the two tracks, which is the highest I've ever placed, only having placed once before in third place in 2022. Thank you so much, and congratulations to all the other winners!
The version of the story I'm uploading here is nearly identical to the version the judges saw, with only some typos fixed (I think there were two). This is because I am pretty much satisfied with what the story is like and don't feel the need to make larger edits before making it public. I don't mean that I think it's perfect, but rather that I'm content having it stay in its current state.
I do, however, greatly appreciate the judges' feedback and any feedback this upload may get! Feedback is always helpful for developing my writing more generally, and it is, of course, nice to hear people say what they enjoyed.
That's enough yapping, though. Let's get to the story. Content warnings for this story include offscreen death, fear of forgetting and a reference to intoxication, which is why this story is rated teen. Enjoy!
The sunset casts its orange light over the river. A breeze sweeps over the expanse, playing with the leaves of the palm trees. The moment is perfect. I just hope I don't screw this up.
I turn to Neferu. She is as beautiful as ever, her black hair long and plentiful and her skin glowing like copper in the dying sun's rays as she sits next to me on the sandy hill. Her innocent eyes, encircled by kohl, still remain on the view. I need to get her attention.
I hesitate for a moment before reaching in and grabbing her hand. She turns to me with an inquisitive look. I swallow to center myself and speak. "Neferu…"
"What is it, Qar?" she asks in her gentle voice. "You seem bothered."
Already screwing it up. A nervous laugh leaves my lungs. "No, nothing is wrong. I just… want to tell you something."
She tilts her head.
Okay. Just say the words you've rehearsed so many times. "The day that I first saw you, through the crowd in the marketplace, I knew you were someone special…"
She smiles, and that smile encourages me. I continue with my speech, recounting the story of how we first properly met. How she couldn't decide between buying a green bracelet or a blue bracelet. How she asked me which would look better, and how I quite crudely said that she could tie a dead hatchling silicobra around her wrist and still be the most beautiful woman in all the land. How she somehow laughed and kept talking to me and how I left her with my heart dancing like a maractus. How she still hadn't decided between those two bracelets, and I never found out if she had…
Neferu is about to tell me which one she picked, but I raise a hand. What I have planned won't work as well if I know the answer.
"So," I start, "green or blue… I figured you must have wanted both if you were so unable to decide. So I went ahead and…"
I reach into my satchel and pull it out - a silver bracelet adorned with turquoises. I hand it to Neferu, who takes it with a gasp.
"Please accept this symbol of my love," I say.
"Qar, this is…" She can barely find her words. "Turquoise? How much did this --"
"Don't sweat the details," I say with a laugh. "After all, no trinket could ever be worth as much as you are to me."
"Thank you, Qar! It's beautiful," Neferu says, slipping it on. It really looks good on her.
Now… for the hard part.
"Neferu…" I start. Okay. Stay calm. You've known each other for ten wonderful moons. It is the right time.
"Yes?"
"You and I, me and you… I want to wake up to this every day of the rest of my life, and every day after."
Her eyes widen.
"Do you mean…"
I smile. "Neferu, will you marry me?"
She grins, barely able to contain her excitement. "Yes, yes, I will!"
She leans in and kisses me. I answer her kiss with all of my love.
Yes, I can tell now. I know it. This is eternal.
I wake up.
The dark halls of Heru's temple, flooded with sand, welcome me back.
I think back to the dream I just had. The sunset. The river. The wind. Neferu. The bracelet. My proposal. Her acceptance. Was there anything else? Was there anything new?
…No. Nothing new.
I deflate. I curl up around my mask.
But, well, there's a silver lining, isn't there? I don't have to sweat trying to find any more space for new notes.
And speaking of those notes… it's time to read them again.
I get up and float to the start of the writing in the sand. To what I remember of my childhood. How I loved to eat dates, how I loved to play one-two-krokorok, how I loved my mother and tolerated my father. That one time I angered a sigilyph and almost died before my time…
As I read the notes, I try to relive each moment as vividly as I can, but what I get are only instances of time and flashes of emotions and a few spoken words here and there.
A viscous red droplet falls into the sand, disturbing it. I quickly cup my hands under my eyes and fly back to my little sleeping mound. The sand there is already quite red from all my previous tears. I wonder - if they come from nowhere and they never leave, will I eventually drown in them?
It would, at least, make it impossible for me to read my notes or look at my mask, and then I would surely forget it all.
No. I don't want to forget. I never want to forget. I don't want to lose myself, I don't want to lose everyone I used to know - my wife Neferu, my son Sho, my daughter Teti, my espeon Hedj, even my overseer Harsiese, greedy bastard as he was. Where are they now? Are they living their eternal lives without me? With some replication of me?
If only my burial hadn't gone wrong. I wasn't there, but that's what must have happened - that's the only reason I know people come back as ghosts. I could be bitter about it, but knowing my family, it must not have been their fault. Most likely it was simply wild beasts that interrupted the ceremony and feasted on my corpse… how lovely.
Well, I can't say that it hurts my pride. I never had much to be proud about. Fifteen years as a priest and I wasn't allowed to meet my lady once.
I wonder if she's still here. Maybe not. Maybe her seal was broken and the world ended. Might explain why no one's come here. Not that it would be easy to break through all this brick and sand. Really, I doubt I'll see another soul before the inevitable happens, before I evolve and lose everything. But that's fine. Great, really. I don't want anything to distract me from my…
Wait. What is that crumbling --
A spot in the ceiling above caves in, dropping down heaps of sand and a drilbur. On top of my notes. My notes!
The drilbur lets out a frustrated sigh. "Not again…" she mutters. She can talk? Oh, right. I'm a pokémon now, so I guess I can understand their speech.
The drilbur then climbs down the mound of sand and keeps walking over my notes, no no no!
"Stop!" I shout.
The drilbur stops and looks around, but can't seem to find me. "Who was that?" she asks.
"My name is Qar," I say, "and you're ruining my notes!"
She looks around again, then sniffs the air and turns to me. "Aw, geez, sorry. I can't see anything. It's too dark. Can smell you, though." She waves at me. "Hi!"
Oh, right. It must be pitch black for her. The only reason I can see despite that is because I'm a ghost.
I'd like to tell her it's fine if she just leaves immediately, but it's not fine. What if I forget what was in those notes before I can write them again?
"My name is Polly," the drilbur says, enragingly cheerful. "Do you know how I can get out of here?"
I stop to think. I should know the layout of this temple like the back of my hand - it was my workplace, after all.
But… I can't go.
"I can't help you," I say. "You'll have to find your own way through."
"What? How come?"
"I can't leave this place. All my notes are here, and if I go out, I'll forget what's in them. And then I might evolve and forget everything else, too." I hug my mask. My face. Myself.
"Huh? What do you have that's so important to remember?"
Anger fills me. "Everything!" I shout. "Everything I know, everything I am. A yamask is a former human, you know?"
"You're a yamask?"
Right, she can't see. "Yes. Unfortunately. And I have to make sure I stay a yamask instead of turning into a horrible coffin-monster with no recollection of my former self!"
Polly stands there for a while, blinking. Then, she frowns. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm not gonna be able to leave without help. Stumbling around so far has just made me fall deeper every time. So, are you gonna help me, or should I find someone else?"
Her finding someone else would mean her walking all over my notes even more. I groan. I guess I have to do as she requests.
"Fine," I say. "I'll help you out. But then you have to leave me alone afterwards and never come back."
"Oh, believe me, I'm not itching to return to this corn-maze-without-the-corn."
"Grand. Let's go, then. I'll lift you up."
I float over to Polly and grab her under the arms. She lets out an eep at my touch, maybe out of surprise or maybe out of how cold my fingers must be. I lift her up through the hole in the ceiling and place her down on the floor.
"Be careful when you walk," I say. "I don't want another cave-in."
"Righty-o," she says. "Where to?"
"Well… it's probably easiest if we go back through the spots you fell through. Where was the spot you fell from before this one?"
"Uh… I don't remember."
"You don't remember?" I ask, angry again.
"I was thinking about other things," Polly says defensively.
I rub my forehead. "You should really pay more attention to things. Memorize them, and reinforce those memories."
"That sounds like a lot of work," she says. "I tend to just go with the flow, see where life takes me. It doesn't matter if I forget things - I can just make new memories!"
"What a horrible thing to say," I say to myself, breathless. I shake my head. "Never mind. Let's just try and find that spot again."
"Righty-o!" she says. "Lead the way."
'Lead the way'…
I think a bit about where I am. I recognized the wall painting on the previous floor as being the first basement, so this must be the first floor. I don't know how deeply this place is buried in the sand, but at worst, we need to ascend four more floors.
"Do you remember how many times you fell?" I ask.
"Nope."
"Of course not." I sigh. "Well, let's just head west. We're at the east half of the temple, so it's more likely that you came from there."
"M-hm." She begins to walk, but it's in the wrong direction, so I gently rotate her until she's facing west and push her. She marches on, a smile on her snout. What a strange person.
We walk for some time, peeking into rooms as we pass them. Eventually, I spot a hole in the ceiling with matching debris on the floor. The opening is a bit small, but I should be able to fit my mask through, and the rest of me can just turn incorporeal. Polly, obviously, can fit, having fallen through before and being smaller than me.
"Found it," I say. "I'll lift you again."
"Righty-o!"
That's getting a bit annoying…
I grab a hold of Polly again, this time atop my head, and push her through the opening. I slip my mask through as well and then phase through to the other side. It's scary to let go of my mask for even a blink, but I manage it and make up for it by grasping onto it even tighter after.
"Two down, few more to go!" Polly says. "This'll be a piece of cake."
"I only hope you're right."
We go on to search for the next cave-in.
"You know," Polly begins, "this reminds me of the time I got stuck in that place humans call Victory Road. It's really not a road, you know, more of a set of tunnels in a mountainside. The view is great, but oh boy, the pokémon there are strong. But I'm strong too! I'm just about ready to evolve, really!"
Mountain… I've never been to a mountain, but I've heard of them. Massive pointy hills of stone so tall that they pierce the heavens. I try to imagine myself looking down on the land from there. Things would be so small…
…Wait. No.
"Anyway - Victory Road. While I was lost there, I happened upon one verrrry territorial fraxure…"
"Stop."
Polly stops walking. "What? Did you see something?"
"No, I just… need you to stop talking."
The drilbur frowns. "Rude! I was just getting to the good part."
"No, no, I assure you, it's not personal," I say. "I just can't risk hearing about new things. Getting new thoughts. New memories. They'll overwrite the old."
"Would that really be so bad?"
"Yes! Look, how would you feel if you woke up one day and realized you didn't remember your parents' names or faces?"
Polly brings her claws to her chin, thoughtful. "Huh. That would be pretty rotten. But…" She lowers her hand. "You're not gonna forget all that just because you have one conversation with a stranger. The important things stick with you! You'll never forget those."
"Have you not been listening to me?" I say. "I'm not gonna remember anything if --"
"Gold!" someone shouts.
Flinching, I turn to the direction of the voice, and flinch again as I see who it was.
Gleaming golden sarcophagus, four shadowy arms, terrifying sharp-toothed grin and burning red eyes. And a mask. A mask that looks familiar…
One of the cofagrigus' hands points to me - no, my mask. "Exquisite mask you have there!" the cofagrigus says, and his voice sounds familiar, too. "May I have it?"
"What? No!" I say, slowly backing away, though Polly is just standing still. I know why he wants it, and even if I could be convinced to momentarily lend my mask to someone, I'd never give it to a gold-eater.
"Come on!" the coffin-monster says. "Just a nibble?"
"Hey!" Polly shouts. "He said no! Leave him alone!"
"Oh, and what's the little mole going to do? You can't even see, can you?"
That voice… the way he's mocking Polly…
I look at his mask again. I recognize it.
"Show you what happens when you harass my guide, that's what!" Polly says despite her blindness. "I might not look it, but I'm one mean mother-"
"Harsiese?" I ask.
The cofagrigus looks at me. "Who?"
That's right. He must have forgotten everything when he evolved.
Must I truly suffer the same?
"Eh, no matter," Harsiese says. "Gimme that gold!"
He lunges at me, and I barely evade his grasp by floating back. Nonexistent heart pounding, I turn around and zoom back the way I came, racing for the hole in the floor.
"Come on! I'll pay you back!" Harsiese says as he crawls after me.
"Hey, get back here!" Polly shouts. "Fight like a real 'mon!"
The hole in the floor rapidly approaches. I grab my mask, ready to insert it, and once I get there, I slip it through and it clatters onto the floor below! Yes! Although I hope that didn't dent it…
"My gold!" Harsiese shouts, and I remember I still have to watch out for my main body, too. I turn intangible and slip through the floor. But Harsiese slips his arm through the hole and tries to grab my mask - no, no, no! I grab it first and float away, away.
"Metal Claw!" Polly's voice shouts, and there's a horrible clang. Harsiese yelps, and then there are sounds of a struggle with Polly grunting too, and I wait, I wait… until I hear Harsiese's thudding steps recede. Then there's silence.
"...Polly?" I ask.
There isn't a response for a while, but then the drilbur slips through the opening and lands with a grunt. "I'm okay," she says, though she looks pretty beat up. "Just need to… rest for a bit."
"That's alright, but get away from the cave-in. I don't want us to get caught by surprise if that cofagrigus comes back."
She follows the sound of my voice. "Cofa-what?"
I sigh. "Cofagrigus. The evolved form of yamask. It no longer remembers anything from when it was a human. That's… what I've been trying to tell you. If I go out, I might evolve. I will evolve. The only way for me to stop it, or delay it, is to make sure I don't do anything that might trigger a change in me."
Polly looks dispirited. "That's… a major bummer. I'm sorry."
"Yeah."
"...How long have you been here?"
I think about it. "I'm not sure. Could be weeks, could be moons. I never counted the days. They didn't seem important. And… memorizing them might have meant forgetting something else."
"That's a long time to be alone," Polly says.
"Well… I guess it is. But as long as I remember my family… I'm not really alone, am I?"
Polly gives a sad look in my direction.
"Anyway… that's why I can't have you talk to me about your life. Sorry."
There's a spell of silence.
"Then…" Polly says. "How about you talk to me about your life while I rest? That might help you remember it even better."
I trace the edge of my mask with a finger. "...That could work."
Polly smiles again. "Great! So, tell me, who were you as a human?"
I try to recall my notes and succeed with great clarity. I smile to myself - still got it.
For the next two hours or so, I walk Polly through my life from the beginning. The dates, one-two-krokorok, my parents. Every now and then, she asks me to elaborate on something that has presumably been lost to time for centuries, and I'm happy to do so. I'm… happy in general. I don't think I've been happy once in my waking hours since I first woke up in this new form.
"Wow," Polly says. "This Heru lady of yours seems like the real deal."
"Uh-huh," I say proudly.
"And you think she might still be in this temple?"
"Well, if you came in from the outside, that means the world hasn't been burned alive. So her seal should still be intact."
Polly's jaw drops. "She's gonna burn the world if she breaks free?"
"Oh, she would never do it on purpose," I say with pacifying gestures. "Her power is just that great. But you shouldn't worry! Her seal had already lasted for hundreds of years when I died. And that was with the high priestess communing with her every now and then, too. The seal is strong."
"Whew. That's a load off my mind," Polly says. "Did you ever get to talk to her?"
I sigh. "No… I wanted to, but she was not to be disturbed by lower-ranking priests unless there was an emergency."
"So you didn't think about talking to her at any point while you've been here?"
I shake my head. "No, I shouldn't bother her. And I had my notes to keep, and sand was blocking the way. I could have phased through, but that would have meant leaving my mask behind."
"Sand…" Polly says. "Well, sand's no problem for me. I'm great at digging!"
I look around and see one sand-blocked hallway. "That could help us get around Harsiese. The cofagrigus, I mean."
"Yeah! But…" Polly yawns. "Can I sleep for a bit first? I'm really tired. The sun was already setting when I came in here, and I woke up early today, so…"
"Sure, go ahead. I'll keep watch."
Polly nods and lies down on a sandy mound, curling up. "Thanks, Qar. Goodnight."
She actually remembered my name. Wow. "Goodnight," I say, and we quiet.
After a moment, I decide to sit down on the sand myself.
What a day. Well, it just began for me, but still. The first new face in ages. Faces, plural, if we count…
I frown. Harsiese. So he came back from the dead as well. I regret to admit that feel a bit of malicious joy at that - if anyone deserved to have his burial raided by animals, it was him. And it doesn't seem like he's changed much. But he always was obsessed with gold and ready to cheat and steal for it. He was practically a cofagrigus already in life.
So what does that mean for me? What will I be after I evolve? Could I really still be… myself, even after I've lost everything?
No, not with my luck. I'll become just as gold-crazy as Harsiese, I'm sure. A lifetime of memories replaced by a fixation with gleaming yellow metal.
I sigh and bury my face in my hands. I don't want to become like that. I want to stay as myself. I want to keep remembering.
But… is staying here the best way to do that? Couldn't I… have help? Couldn't I let my stories live on through sharing them with others, like I've done with Polly? None of them will remember them as well as I do, but… their spirit will at least live on.
And, hey, shouldn't I be able to find some better writing equipment in the outside world than the sand and my fingers? Couldn't I have more of it than just what fit in that one hallway?
It's risky, but… if I'm going to evolve anyway, I don't have much to lose.
Yeah. I feel determined now. Anxious, but determined.
I'll tell Polly about my plans once she wakes up.
---
Polly thought my plan was great. She didn't know how to write herself, but she understood the concept. She wanted to tell me all about the wonders of the outside world already, but I reminded her that we should focus on getting out for now. She apologized and agreed.
We then began searching for sand-filled hallways that might have led us up some stairs, and we found two of them, ascending two whole floors. Only downside was that I had to hold on to Polly and my mask for dear life when she drilled through the sand. I'm sure that if I'd still had a stomach, I would have ejected its contents many times over.
Some time later, Polly started talking about the outside world anyway, and I decided that I may as well listen since it seemed to help my nerves. She's been going on about one battle she had against a flock of pikipek drunk on fermented iapapa berries for a while now. Whatever either of those are.
"So," she says, "the moral of the story: stay away from that funny stuff. It makes you crazy, and you might hurt someone."
I nod. I remember the times when I was going through a rougher patch and tried to drown my sorrows in beer. Those memories aren't very pleasant. Yet they're still written down in that sand three floors down. I hope no one else reads them… but I suppose there might be no one left that can understand them.
"Hey…" Polly begins. "Is it a bit brighter here, or is that just me?"
"Hm?" I look around. It's hard to tell, not knowing how much of my vision is regular sight and how much is ghost sight.
"Yeah, it is!" she says, grinning. "I can kind of see you! Hi, Qar!" She waves again.
"Hi, Polly," I respond, waving back. "Well, that's great news. That means we must be getting closer to the exit."
Only… is it great? Am I really ready to do this?
"Hey, no moping! Let's go!" she says, grabbing my hand and leading me forward. I find myself smiling.
As we advance, the light grows stronger and stronger until we come upon an even brighter hole in the roof.
"That's gotta be the last one!" she says. "Come on! Lift me up!"
"Sure thing." I grab her and lift her to the other floor. I then reach for my mask and --
Something grabs me by the tail, mask and all, and yanks me down.
"Gotcha!" shouts a voice that sends shivers down my nonexistent spine. I look behind me to see a grisly face of red eyes and sharp teeth. Harsiese.
"Hey!" Polly shouts from above. "Let him go!"
"Oh, I'll let him go," Harsiese says, turning my body to face him and pinching the top of my mask with another hand. "I just need that tasty little --"
"No!" I shout, grasping onto my mask with my tail and my hands as tightly as I can, but it's in vain. The cofagrigus, with his superior strength, snatches the mask from me and cradles it in his hands. Then he --
Crunch.
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
It's gone.
A blinding white light shines from behind. Above. I look back.
Polly…?
The light fades, and I catch a glimpse of something red and brown before another light, dimmer this time with a tinge of blue, ignites and there's a whirring and --
Something barrels through the ceiling, dropping sand and debris to the floor with deafening thuds. As the dust clears, I can see… an excadrill. And a terrified cofagrigus.
"You want metal?" Polly says, her voice now lower. She slowly walks towards Harsiese and raises her claws, which take on a steely sheen.
"Wait, wait, wait," Harsiese tries. "Let's talk about this!"
"Eat this."
With that, Polly rushes forward, and before Harsiese can even move, she drives her claws into him. He flies back, landing hard on his torn coffin-body, and does not get back up.
Polly turns around and walks up to me. "Are you okay?"
I'm…
I look at my hands. My tail. Nothing in them. Nothing. It's gone. It's really gone.
I…
"...No," I say. "I'm not."
My mask, my face, my anchor to my former self is gone. Torn into pieces, crunched up and swallowed into what I assume is just a void somewhere. There is no way to get it back. There is no way for me to get myself back.
"Qar…?"
No, that's not true.
I have my notes.
What did they say again?
I have to know what they said.
I turn intangible and dive through the floor. I think I might hear a distant call from Polly, but I can't stop to listen. I look at the walls. The wall has a carving of a liepard with a basculin in its mouth. Second floor, middle south. To get to my notes, I need to go down two floors and head east. I do so, getting a bit disoriented at times, but manage to make it where I need to be.
Oh, thank the Gods. My notes are still here. Part of them are still obscured by where the ceiling caved in and Polly dropped from, but I… yes, I remember what was in them.
I pick up the fallen bricks and place them on my sleeping mound for now. I smooth the sand that's left and write the missing letters in. Yes, I was thirteen when Father died. He died of illness like most people I knew, I remember the night it happened, how Mother cried, how two days later she began to cough as well…
…I miss her.
I miss it all.
A red droplet falls. I hurry to my sleeping mound and let the tears flow there.
I miss it all so much, and all I have left are my memories - and I know they'll surely leave me soon as well.
I'm going to fade away, and so is everything I know.
I curl up on top of the bricks, which isn't in any way comfortable, but I can't bring myself to care right now. My hands and tail keep twitching, trying to find the touch of the mask, but it's not there. It's just gone.
I cry. I cry and I cry and I cry.
---
I don't know how long it's been since I returned here.
I don't know how long it's been since I stopped crying.
I don't know where Polly is. She's probably long gone. Good for her.
I sigh and get up, nothing else to do. I look upon my sandy river of notes. Should I read them again? Would it help anything? I'm just going to forget them anyway.
Okay… okay, maybe I'll continue from where I stopped. Just to humor myself.
I float on over to the spot marked with red and keep reading.
The funeral for Father was grand, even if Mother was too sick to properly attend. We had always been on the wealthier side. Really, I wouldn't have been able to get Neferu that turquoise bracelet otherwise. Anyway… the funeral. Father's body was placed in a quite nice tomb. I remember as the tomb was sealed with bricks, and I remember when it was done, and I remember them painting the mark of Heru on the newly constructed wall.
Heru…
Heru.
Heru the goddess, who likely still remains within this temple.
What if she knew how to help me?
She must know how to help me, she's a goddess! I just never considered this before because I was too worried that she'd burn me alive or something. But if I already know I'm going to lose myself… I have nothing else left to lose.
Excitement fills me. I even laugh. Finally, things are looking up again. I may be facing death, but I'm finally having some power over my life.
Okay. She would be in the deepest chamber, two floors below me…
I become immaterial again and sink through the floor. That's one floor. But I don't actually know where the chamber is horizontally speaking as I was never allowed there. But I did catch a glimpse of the doorway that leads to the stairs…
I float around a little bit until I find it. It's an archway at the northern edge of the temple with the mark of Heru carved atop it - a six-winged moth. I hover in and down the stairs. I meet a platform and more stairs beyond it, heading southwards. I descend those, too, and… another platform, and stairs down towards the north. How long is this staircase?
Very long, as it turns out. I count six platforms before I enter a little room with two lit torches on both sides of a large, large pair of wooden doors. This must be the entrance to Heru's chamber, and those torches must be burning with her eternal flame.
I hesitate. Do I really have the right to be here?
…Yes. Yes, I do.
I push on the doors. They're very heavy, but do budge when I put enough nonexistent muscle into it. I slip inside and stop as the majesty of what I see momentarily paralyzes me.
The chamber is tall, tall, very tall. Six huge pillars hold up the ceiling. The bricks of the floor are arranged in beautiful and elaborate patterns. More lit torches line the walls. And at the end of the chamber…
Four vases stand on pedestals in front of an altar, two on each side - surely for the waters of the famous gratitude ritual - and on the altar… there she is.
Her eyes are closed and her body is encased in a giant, glassy cocoon, but she is there. Heru, the Second Sun.
I bow deeply even if I think she's asleep. I can always bow again when she wakes up. If she wakes up… Gods, I hadn't even thought of that.
But that shouldn't stop me. I'm here to talk to her whether she's awake or not or even alive at all. That was always something I wanted to do, and I have to grant my one last wish before I disappear.
I straighten myself and float closer. Even as a ghost, I can feel the heat emanating from her. After all, it isn't regular heat - it's divine.
Once I'm close enough, I open my mouth. Nothing comes out the first few times I try as on some level I'm still afraid of being torched, but on the seventh, I manage to speak.
"My lady."
The heat grows stronger and her eyes open. I freeze.
"Be at ease, my child," she says. Her voice is… beautiful. It is so clear and warm, and there is a pleasant thrum to it…
"You are… a yamask," she adds.
I flinch. Is that a problem? Does she consider me impure?
"No, my child," she says. "I can sense you have no ill intent. Be at ease."
She can read my mind? Oh, well, sure. That seems like something a goddess can do.
Heru looks around. "This place… this place has aged."
I clear my throat. "Yes, my lady. It has been… a long time since you were last spoken to. I believe our civilization is… gone."
"I see…"
"I'm sorry."
"Do not be."
Huh?
"No kingdom is eternal," she says. "The only thing I must be certain of is that my seal will hold."
"Well, it has held well all this time."
"So it has." She pauses. "But I sense that delivering this news is not the reason you have come to me."
I nod solemnly. "I… My lady, I am afraid. As I am a yamask, it is my fate to evolve into a cofagrigus and lose my memories. But I do not want this. I do not want to forget my human life. Is there anything you can do to secure my memories?"
Heru is silent. I scratch the back of my hand as I wait for her answer, dreading the answer.
"You have feared the loss of yourself for a long time now," she says. "I can see it in your heart."
That's not really an answer. Oh, wait, I shouldn't think these impolite thoughts. Sorry.
Heru does not react to those thoughts, but continues speaking from where she left off. "You believe that the self is static. That you have only ever been one person. But is that true?"
"...Yes?" I say, unsure what she means.
"Really? Were you the same person as a six-year-old as when you were thirty?"
"Well, I was healthy at six, and quite sick at thirty, but --"
"No. When you were six, you loved dates. But when you were thirty, you found them too sweet, did you not?"
"...I did, but --"
"And has that face of yours, that which you considered such a core part of yourself that you thought you were as good as gone when it was consumed - was it the same since your birth?"
"No, but my lady, all those changes were gradual! Evolving will strip me of all my memories at once!"
"And what will you worry about after?"
I fall silent.
"...Nothing," I then say.
"Do you understand now?" Heru asks. "Change is part of life. Even I have changed, Qar. I was once a mere larvesta, crawling across the ground looking for leaves to eat, fearing the teeth of krookodile. And, Qar - I do not miss those days."
The thought of a divine being crawling like a lowly bug feels sacrilegious, but I suppose if Heru herself is describing it, she must be telling the truth…
I sigh. Is it really… alright? Alright for me to change?
"Your family has long since left this world," Heru says. "They no longer require your aid. They no longer require you to cling to your memories of them. Forget, Qar. Forget and live again."
"But…" Tears well up in my eyes. "I don't want to lose them. If I lose them… I'll have nothing."
"At first. But you have already had nothing before. You had nothing when you were born, and yet you gained so much. What prevents this from happening again?"
I… don't know.
I suppose I really can have a new --
The doors of the chamber slam open.
"There you are!" shouts Polly. "Been looking everywhere for you. You're lucky my new nose is so sharp."
"Polly?" I blink, then raise my hands. "Polly, no! You can't just barge in here like that! This is a sacred space!"
"It is alright," Heru says. "I can sense she, too, is here without ill intent."
"Whoa, who's the cool bug?"
"I am Heru, Polly. Pleased to meet you."
Polly's eyes widen. "The Heru? Oh, man, you rock!"
"...No?" I say. "She is insectoid and fiery."
Heru laughs gently. "I am flattered. But… Polly, may I ask a favor of you?"
"Anything for the big H," Polly says.
"I want you to watch over Qar and be there when he evolves. I want you to guide him in his new life. However, you cannot tell him anything that he does not ask of you himself. He must not be needlessly burdened with a life long past."
"Uhh…" Polly turns to me.
I give a hesitant smile. "If the goddess wills it… I will it, too."
Polly holds a stare, but then smiles, turning to Heru. "You got it, boss."
"Thank you. Now go, Qar and Polly. Go and live good lives, making new memories, however long they may last."
I bow. "Thank you, my lady. Thank you for your wisdom." I turn to Polly. "Let's go."
Polly tilts her head. "Eh? But we just got here." After I give her a serious stare, though, she relents. "Oh, alright." She waves at Heru. "It was nice meeting you, Heru!"
"Likewise. Good luck, both of you."
With that, she closes her eyes, and her heat fades to the level it was at before. In silence, Polly and I leave the chamber and ascend the stairs. Well, Polly complains a bit about all the steps, but that's it. We make it to the second basement, and Polly leads me up to the first basement me through the way she came.
"You remembered the way this time," I say.
"It felt important," Polly replies.
We continue making our way back up by utilizing Polly's supercharged digging until we arrive at the hallway my mask was stolen in. Harsiese is still there. I think for a moment that he might be dead, but then I hear him groan.
"What, are you back to beat on me some more?" he asks. "I swear I've learned my lesson."
"Well, I feel all soft inside right now, so I'll leave you be," Polly says and points to the spot in the ceiling that she drilled through before. "Exit's right over there. Go outside once you can. You really seem like you need it."
"Whatever," Harsiese mutters.
I don't have anything I want to say to Harsiese, so I don't. Polly jumps through the hole in the ceiling - wow, evolution has really made her strong. I float after her, and we continue walking towards the growing light. It's still much dimmer than the flames were in Heru's chamber, even once it shines in directly through the windows. I float up to the first one and look outside.
A sky full of stars.
Just as I remember it.
"It's pretty, right?" Polly says.
"Yeah."
Polly, apparently eager to get out of the temple as soon as possible, climbs through the window, and I follow her. Outside, sands stretch out to the horizon with no sign of vegetation, only brownish ruins here and there. I recognize them as the other gods' temples.
This place has really changed, but… it's okay.
"So!" Polly says, gesturing to the expanse. "Where do you want to go?"
I think for a moment, then turn to her with a smile.
"Somewhere new."
The version of the story I'm uploading here is nearly identical to the version the judges saw, with only some typos fixed (I think there were two). This is because I am pretty much satisfied with what the story is like and don't feel the need to make larger edits before making it public. I don't mean that I think it's perfect, but rather that I'm content having it stay in its current state.
I do, however, greatly appreciate the judges' feedback and any feedback this upload may get! Feedback is always helpful for developing my writing more generally, and it is, of course, nice to hear people say what they enjoyed.
That's enough yapping, though. Let's get to the story. Content warnings for this story include offscreen death, fear of forgetting and a reference to intoxication, which is why this story is rated teen. Enjoy!
---
BEYOND THE COFFIN
Synopsis:
Qar, a yamask, spends his days holed up in the temple of his goddess, writing notes in the sand of his former life so that he does not forget or, worse yet, evolve. One day, a drilbur named Polly crashes through his ceiling and brings much-dreaded change.
Genre:
Fantasy
Status:
Complete oneshot.
Submitted to contest privately on 16 June 2022.
First uploaded publicly on 3 Oct 2022.
Length:
6 600~ words
---
BEYOND THE COFFIN
Synopsis:
Qar, a yamask, spends his days holed up in the temple of his goddess, writing notes in the sand of his former life so that he does not forget or, worse yet, evolve. One day, a drilbur named Polly crashes through his ceiling and brings much-dreaded change.
Genre:
Fantasy
Status:
Complete oneshot.
Submitted to contest privately on 16 June 2022.
First uploaded publicly on 3 Oct 2022.
Length:
6 600~ words
---
The sunset casts its orange light over the river. A breeze sweeps over the expanse, playing with the leaves of the palm trees. The moment is perfect. I just hope I don't screw this up.
I turn to Neferu. She is as beautiful as ever, her black hair long and plentiful and her skin glowing like copper in the dying sun's rays as she sits next to me on the sandy hill. Her innocent eyes, encircled by kohl, still remain on the view. I need to get her attention.
I hesitate for a moment before reaching in and grabbing her hand. She turns to me with an inquisitive look. I swallow to center myself and speak. "Neferu…"
"What is it, Qar?" she asks in her gentle voice. "You seem bothered."
Already screwing it up. A nervous laugh leaves my lungs. "No, nothing is wrong. I just… want to tell you something."
She tilts her head.
Okay. Just say the words you've rehearsed so many times. "The day that I first saw you, through the crowd in the marketplace, I knew you were someone special…"
She smiles, and that smile encourages me. I continue with my speech, recounting the story of how we first properly met. How she couldn't decide between buying a green bracelet or a blue bracelet. How she asked me which would look better, and how I quite crudely said that she could tie a dead hatchling silicobra around her wrist and still be the most beautiful woman in all the land. How she somehow laughed and kept talking to me and how I left her with my heart dancing like a maractus. How she still hadn't decided between those two bracelets, and I never found out if she had…
Neferu is about to tell me which one she picked, but I raise a hand. What I have planned won't work as well if I know the answer.
"So," I start, "green or blue… I figured you must have wanted both if you were so unable to decide. So I went ahead and…"
I reach into my satchel and pull it out - a silver bracelet adorned with turquoises. I hand it to Neferu, who takes it with a gasp.
"Please accept this symbol of my love," I say.
"Qar, this is…" She can barely find her words. "Turquoise? How much did this --"
"Don't sweat the details," I say with a laugh. "After all, no trinket could ever be worth as much as you are to me."
"Thank you, Qar! It's beautiful," Neferu says, slipping it on. It really looks good on her.
Now… for the hard part.
"Neferu…" I start. Okay. Stay calm. You've known each other for ten wonderful moons. It is the right time.
"Yes?"
"You and I, me and you… I want to wake up to this every day of the rest of my life, and every day after."
Her eyes widen.
"Do you mean…"
I smile. "Neferu, will you marry me?"
She grins, barely able to contain her excitement. "Yes, yes, I will!"
She leans in and kisses me. I answer her kiss with all of my love.
Yes, I can tell now. I know it. This is eternal.
---
I wake up.
The dark halls of Heru's temple, flooded with sand, welcome me back.
I think back to the dream I just had. The sunset. The river. The wind. Neferu. The bracelet. My proposal. Her acceptance. Was there anything else? Was there anything new?
…No. Nothing new.
I deflate. I curl up around my mask.
But, well, there's a silver lining, isn't there? I don't have to sweat trying to find any more space for new notes.
And speaking of those notes… it's time to read them again.
I get up and float to the start of the writing in the sand. To what I remember of my childhood. How I loved to eat dates, how I loved to play one-two-krokorok, how I loved my mother and tolerated my father. That one time I angered a sigilyph and almost died before my time…
As I read the notes, I try to relive each moment as vividly as I can, but what I get are only instances of time and flashes of emotions and a few spoken words here and there.
A viscous red droplet falls into the sand, disturbing it. I quickly cup my hands under my eyes and fly back to my little sleeping mound. The sand there is already quite red from all my previous tears. I wonder - if they come from nowhere and they never leave, will I eventually drown in them?
It would, at least, make it impossible for me to read my notes or look at my mask, and then I would surely forget it all.
No. I don't want to forget. I never want to forget. I don't want to lose myself, I don't want to lose everyone I used to know - my wife Neferu, my son Sho, my daughter Teti, my espeon Hedj, even my overseer Harsiese, greedy bastard as he was. Where are they now? Are they living their eternal lives without me? With some replication of me?
If only my burial hadn't gone wrong. I wasn't there, but that's what must have happened - that's the only reason I know people come back as ghosts. I could be bitter about it, but knowing my family, it must not have been their fault. Most likely it was simply wild beasts that interrupted the ceremony and feasted on my corpse… how lovely.
Well, I can't say that it hurts my pride. I never had much to be proud about. Fifteen years as a priest and I wasn't allowed to meet my lady once.
I wonder if she's still here. Maybe not. Maybe her seal was broken and the world ended. Might explain why no one's come here. Not that it would be easy to break through all this brick and sand. Really, I doubt I'll see another soul before the inevitable happens, before I evolve and lose everything. But that's fine. Great, really. I don't want anything to distract me from my…
Wait. What is that crumbling --
A spot in the ceiling above caves in, dropping down heaps of sand and a drilbur. On top of my notes. My notes!
The drilbur lets out a frustrated sigh. "Not again…" she mutters. She can talk? Oh, right. I'm a pokémon now, so I guess I can understand their speech.
The drilbur then climbs down the mound of sand and keeps walking over my notes, no no no!
"Stop!" I shout.
The drilbur stops and looks around, but can't seem to find me. "Who was that?" she asks.
"My name is Qar," I say, "and you're ruining my notes!"
She looks around again, then sniffs the air and turns to me. "Aw, geez, sorry. I can't see anything. It's too dark. Can smell you, though." She waves at me. "Hi!"
Oh, right. It must be pitch black for her. The only reason I can see despite that is because I'm a ghost.
I'd like to tell her it's fine if she just leaves immediately, but it's not fine. What if I forget what was in those notes before I can write them again?
"My name is Polly," the drilbur says, enragingly cheerful. "Do you know how I can get out of here?"
I stop to think. I should know the layout of this temple like the back of my hand - it was my workplace, after all.
But… I can't go.
"I can't help you," I say. "You'll have to find your own way through."
"What? How come?"
"I can't leave this place. All my notes are here, and if I go out, I'll forget what's in them. And then I might evolve and forget everything else, too." I hug my mask. My face. Myself.
"Huh? What do you have that's so important to remember?"
Anger fills me. "Everything!" I shout. "Everything I know, everything I am. A yamask is a former human, you know?"
"You're a yamask?"
Right, she can't see. "Yes. Unfortunately. And I have to make sure I stay a yamask instead of turning into a horrible coffin-monster with no recollection of my former self!"
Polly stands there for a while, blinking. Then, she frowns. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm not gonna be able to leave without help. Stumbling around so far has just made me fall deeper every time. So, are you gonna help me, or should I find someone else?"
Her finding someone else would mean her walking all over my notes even more. I groan. I guess I have to do as she requests.
"Fine," I say. "I'll help you out. But then you have to leave me alone afterwards and never come back."
"Oh, believe me, I'm not itching to return to this corn-maze-without-the-corn."
"Grand. Let's go, then. I'll lift you up."
I float over to Polly and grab her under the arms. She lets out an eep at my touch, maybe out of surprise or maybe out of how cold my fingers must be. I lift her up through the hole in the ceiling and place her down on the floor.
"Be careful when you walk," I say. "I don't want another cave-in."
"Righty-o," she says. "Where to?"
"Well… it's probably easiest if we go back through the spots you fell through. Where was the spot you fell from before this one?"
"Uh… I don't remember."
"You don't remember?" I ask, angry again.
"I was thinking about other things," Polly says defensively.
I rub my forehead. "You should really pay more attention to things. Memorize them, and reinforce those memories."
"That sounds like a lot of work," she says. "I tend to just go with the flow, see where life takes me. It doesn't matter if I forget things - I can just make new memories!"
"What a horrible thing to say," I say to myself, breathless. I shake my head. "Never mind. Let's just try and find that spot again."
"Righty-o!" she says. "Lead the way."
'Lead the way'…
I think a bit about where I am. I recognized the wall painting on the previous floor as being the first basement, so this must be the first floor. I don't know how deeply this place is buried in the sand, but at worst, we need to ascend four more floors.
"Do you remember how many times you fell?" I ask.
"Nope."
"Of course not." I sigh. "Well, let's just head west. We're at the east half of the temple, so it's more likely that you came from there."
"M-hm." She begins to walk, but it's in the wrong direction, so I gently rotate her until she's facing west and push her. She marches on, a smile on her snout. What a strange person.
We walk for some time, peeking into rooms as we pass them. Eventually, I spot a hole in the ceiling with matching debris on the floor. The opening is a bit small, but I should be able to fit my mask through, and the rest of me can just turn incorporeal. Polly, obviously, can fit, having fallen through before and being smaller than me.
"Found it," I say. "I'll lift you again."
"Righty-o!"
That's getting a bit annoying…
I grab a hold of Polly again, this time atop my head, and push her through the opening. I slip my mask through as well and then phase through to the other side. It's scary to let go of my mask for even a blink, but I manage it and make up for it by grasping onto it even tighter after.
"Two down, few more to go!" Polly says. "This'll be a piece of cake."
"I only hope you're right."
We go on to search for the next cave-in.
"You know," Polly begins, "this reminds me of the time I got stuck in that place humans call Victory Road. It's really not a road, you know, more of a set of tunnels in a mountainside. The view is great, but oh boy, the pokémon there are strong. But I'm strong too! I'm just about ready to evolve, really!"
Mountain… I've never been to a mountain, but I've heard of them. Massive pointy hills of stone so tall that they pierce the heavens. I try to imagine myself looking down on the land from there. Things would be so small…
…Wait. No.
"Anyway - Victory Road. While I was lost there, I happened upon one verrrry territorial fraxure…"
"Stop."
Polly stops walking. "What? Did you see something?"
"No, I just… need you to stop talking."
The drilbur frowns. "Rude! I was just getting to the good part."
"No, no, I assure you, it's not personal," I say. "I just can't risk hearing about new things. Getting new thoughts. New memories. They'll overwrite the old."
"Would that really be so bad?"
"Yes! Look, how would you feel if you woke up one day and realized you didn't remember your parents' names or faces?"
Polly brings her claws to her chin, thoughtful. "Huh. That would be pretty rotten. But…" She lowers her hand. "You're not gonna forget all that just because you have one conversation with a stranger. The important things stick with you! You'll never forget those."
"Have you not been listening to me?" I say. "I'm not gonna remember anything if --"
"Gold!" someone shouts.
Flinching, I turn to the direction of the voice, and flinch again as I see who it was.
Gleaming golden sarcophagus, four shadowy arms, terrifying sharp-toothed grin and burning red eyes. And a mask. A mask that looks familiar…
One of the cofagrigus' hands points to me - no, my mask. "Exquisite mask you have there!" the cofagrigus says, and his voice sounds familiar, too. "May I have it?"
"What? No!" I say, slowly backing away, though Polly is just standing still. I know why he wants it, and even if I could be convinced to momentarily lend my mask to someone, I'd never give it to a gold-eater.
"Come on!" the coffin-monster says. "Just a nibble?"
"Hey!" Polly shouts. "He said no! Leave him alone!"
"Oh, and what's the little mole going to do? You can't even see, can you?"
That voice… the way he's mocking Polly…
I look at his mask again. I recognize it.
"Show you what happens when you harass my guide, that's what!" Polly says despite her blindness. "I might not look it, but I'm one mean mother-"
"Harsiese?" I ask.
The cofagrigus looks at me. "Who?"
That's right. He must have forgotten everything when he evolved.
Must I truly suffer the same?
"Eh, no matter," Harsiese says. "Gimme that gold!"
He lunges at me, and I barely evade his grasp by floating back. Nonexistent heart pounding, I turn around and zoom back the way I came, racing for the hole in the floor.
"Come on! I'll pay you back!" Harsiese says as he crawls after me.
"Hey, get back here!" Polly shouts. "Fight like a real 'mon!"
The hole in the floor rapidly approaches. I grab my mask, ready to insert it, and once I get there, I slip it through and it clatters onto the floor below! Yes! Although I hope that didn't dent it…
"My gold!" Harsiese shouts, and I remember I still have to watch out for my main body, too. I turn intangible and slip through the floor. But Harsiese slips his arm through the hole and tries to grab my mask - no, no, no! I grab it first and float away, away.
"Metal Claw!" Polly's voice shouts, and there's a horrible clang. Harsiese yelps, and then there are sounds of a struggle with Polly grunting too, and I wait, I wait… until I hear Harsiese's thudding steps recede. Then there's silence.
"...Polly?" I ask.
There isn't a response for a while, but then the drilbur slips through the opening and lands with a grunt. "I'm okay," she says, though she looks pretty beat up. "Just need to… rest for a bit."
"That's alright, but get away from the cave-in. I don't want us to get caught by surprise if that cofagrigus comes back."
She follows the sound of my voice. "Cofa-what?"
I sigh. "Cofagrigus. The evolved form of yamask. It no longer remembers anything from when it was a human. That's… what I've been trying to tell you. If I go out, I might evolve. I will evolve. The only way for me to stop it, or delay it, is to make sure I don't do anything that might trigger a change in me."
Polly looks dispirited. "That's… a major bummer. I'm sorry."
"Yeah."
"...How long have you been here?"
I think about it. "I'm not sure. Could be weeks, could be moons. I never counted the days. They didn't seem important. And… memorizing them might have meant forgetting something else."
"That's a long time to be alone," Polly says.
"Well… I guess it is. But as long as I remember my family… I'm not really alone, am I?"
Polly gives a sad look in my direction.
"Anyway… that's why I can't have you talk to me about your life. Sorry."
There's a spell of silence.
"Then…" Polly says. "How about you talk to me about your life while I rest? That might help you remember it even better."
I trace the edge of my mask with a finger. "...That could work."
Polly smiles again. "Great! So, tell me, who were you as a human?"
I try to recall my notes and succeed with great clarity. I smile to myself - still got it.
For the next two hours or so, I walk Polly through my life from the beginning. The dates, one-two-krokorok, my parents. Every now and then, she asks me to elaborate on something that has presumably been lost to time for centuries, and I'm happy to do so. I'm… happy in general. I don't think I've been happy once in my waking hours since I first woke up in this new form.
"Wow," Polly says. "This Heru lady of yours seems like the real deal."
"Uh-huh," I say proudly.
"And you think she might still be in this temple?"
"Well, if you came in from the outside, that means the world hasn't been burned alive. So her seal should still be intact."
Polly's jaw drops. "She's gonna burn the world if she breaks free?"
"Oh, she would never do it on purpose," I say with pacifying gestures. "Her power is just that great. But you shouldn't worry! Her seal had already lasted for hundreds of years when I died. And that was with the high priestess communing with her every now and then, too. The seal is strong."
"Whew. That's a load off my mind," Polly says. "Did you ever get to talk to her?"
I sigh. "No… I wanted to, but she was not to be disturbed by lower-ranking priests unless there was an emergency."
"So you didn't think about talking to her at any point while you've been here?"
I shake my head. "No, I shouldn't bother her. And I had my notes to keep, and sand was blocking the way. I could have phased through, but that would have meant leaving my mask behind."
"Sand…" Polly says. "Well, sand's no problem for me. I'm great at digging!"
I look around and see one sand-blocked hallway. "That could help us get around Harsiese. The cofagrigus, I mean."
"Yeah! But…" Polly yawns. "Can I sleep for a bit first? I'm really tired. The sun was already setting when I came in here, and I woke up early today, so…"
"Sure, go ahead. I'll keep watch."
Polly nods and lies down on a sandy mound, curling up. "Thanks, Qar. Goodnight."
She actually remembered my name. Wow. "Goodnight," I say, and we quiet.
After a moment, I decide to sit down on the sand myself.
What a day. Well, it just began for me, but still. The first new face in ages. Faces, plural, if we count…
I frown. Harsiese. So he came back from the dead as well. I regret to admit that feel a bit of malicious joy at that - if anyone deserved to have his burial raided by animals, it was him. And it doesn't seem like he's changed much. But he always was obsessed with gold and ready to cheat and steal for it. He was practically a cofagrigus already in life.
So what does that mean for me? What will I be after I evolve? Could I really still be… myself, even after I've lost everything?
No, not with my luck. I'll become just as gold-crazy as Harsiese, I'm sure. A lifetime of memories replaced by a fixation with gleaming yellow metal.
I sigh and bury my face in my hands. I don't want to become like that. I want to stay as myself. I want to keep remembering.
But… is staying here the best way to do that? Couldn't I… have help? Couldn't I let my stories live on through sharing them with others, like I've done with Polly? None of them will remember them as well as I do, but… their spirit will at least live on.
And, hey, shouldn't I be able to find some better writing equipment in the outside world than the sand and my fingers? Couldn't I have more of it than just what fit in that one hallway?
It's risky, but… if I'm going to evolve anyway, I don't have much to lose.
Yeah. I feel determined now. Anxious, but determined.
I'll tell Polly about my plans once she wakes up.
---
Polly thought my plan was great. She didn't know how to write herself, but she understood the concept. She wanted to tell me all about the wonders of the outside world already, but I reminded her that we should focus on getting out for now. She apologized and agreed.
We then began searching for sand-filled hallways that might have led us up some stairs, and we found two of them, ascending two whole floors. Only downside was that I had to hold on to Polly and my mask for dear life when she drilled through the sand. I'm sure that if I'd still had a stomach, I would have ejected its contents many times over.
Some time later, Polly started talking about the outside world anyway, and I decided that I may as well listen since it seemed to help my nerves. She's been going on about one battle she had against a flock of pikipek drunk on fermented iapapa berries for a while now. Whatever either of those are.
"So," she says, "the moral of the story: stay away from that funny stuff. It makes you crazy, and you might hurt someone."
I nod. I remember the times when I was going through a rougher patch and tried to drown my sorrows in beer. Those memories aren't very pleasant. Yet they're still written down in that sand three floors down. I hope no one else reads them… but I suppose there might be no one left that can understand them.
"Hey…" Polly begins. "Is it a bit brighter here, or is that just me?"
"Hm?" I look around. It's hard to tell, not knowing how much of my vision is regular sight and how much is ghost sight.
"Yeah, it is!" she says, grinning. "I can kind of see you! Hi, Qar!" She waves again.
"Hi, Polly," I respond, waving back. "Well, that's great news. That means we must be getting closer to the exit."
Only… is it great? Am I really ready to do this?
"Hey, no moping! Let's go!" she says, grabbing my hand and leading me forward. I find myself smiling.
As we advance, the light grows stronger and stronger until we come upon an even brighter hole in the roof.
"That's gotta be the last one!" she says. "Come on! Lift me up!"
"Sure thing." I grab her and lift her to the other floor. I then reach for my mask and --
Something grabs me by the tail, mask and all, and yanks me down.
"Gotcha!" shouts a voice that sends shivers down my nonexistent spine. I look behind me to see a grisly face of red eyes and sharp teeth. Harsiese.
"Hey!" Polly shouts from above. "Let him go!"
"Oh, I'll let him go," Harsiese says, turning my body to face him and pinching the top of my mask with another hand. "I just need that tasty little --"
"No!" I shout, grasping onto my mask with my tail and my hands as tightly as I can, but it's in vain. The cofagrigus, with his superior strength, snatches the mask from me and cradles it in his hands. Then he --
Crunch.
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
It's gone.
A blinding white light shines from behind. Above. I look back.
Polly…?
The light fades, and I catch a glimpse of something red and brown before another light, dimmer this time with a tinge of blue, ignites and there's a whirring and --
Something barrels through the ceiling, dropping sand and debris to the floor with deafening thuds. As the dust clears, I can see… an excadrill. And a terrified cofagrigus.
"You want metal?" Polly says, her voice now lower. She slowly walks towards Harsiese and raises her claws, which take on a steely sheen.
"Wait, wait, wait," Harsiese tries. "Let's talk about this!"
"Eat this."
With that, Polly rushes forward, and before Harsiese can even move, she drives her claws into him. He flies back, landing hard on his torn coffin-body, and does not get back up.
Polly turns around and walks up to me. "Are you okay?"
I'm…
I look at my hands. My tail. Nothing in them. Nothing. It's gone. It's really gone.
I…
"...No," I say. "I'm not."
My mask, my face, my anchor to my former self is gone. Torn into pieces, crunched up and swallowed into what I assume is just a void somewhere. There is no way to get it back. There is no way for me to get myself back.
"Qar…?"
No, that's not true.
I have my notes.
What did they say again?
I have to know what they said.
I turn intangible and dive through the floor. I think I might hear a distant call from Polly, but I can't stop to listen. I look at the walls. The wall has a carving of a liepard with a basculin in its mouth. Second floor, middle south. To get to my notes, I need to go down two floors and head east. I do so, getting a bit disoriented at times, but manage to make it where I need to be.
Oh, thank the Gods. My notes are still here. Part of them are still obscured by where the ceiling caved in and Polly dropped from, but I… yes, I remember what was in them.
I pick up the fallen bricks and place them on my sleeping mound for now. I smooth the sand that's left and write the missing letters in. Yes, I was thirteen when Father died. He died of illness like most people I knew, I remember the night it happened, how Mother cried, how two days later she began to cough as well…
…I miss her.
I miss it all.
A red droplet falls. I hurry to my sleeping mound and let the tears flow there.
I miss it all so much, and all I have left are my memories - and I know they'll surely leave me soon as well.
I'm going to fade away, and so is everything I know.
I curl up on top of the bricks, which isn't in any way comfortable, but I can't bring myself to care right now. My hands and tail keep twitching, trying to find the touch of the mask, but it's not there. It's just gone.
I cry. I cry and I cry and I cry.
---
I don't know how long it's been since I returned here.
I don't know how long it's been since I stopped crying.
I don't know where Polly is. She's probably long gone. Good for her.
I sigh and get up, nothing else to do. I look upon my sandy river of notes. Should I read them again? Would it help anything? I'm just going to forget them anyway.
Okay… okay, maybe I'll continue from where I stopped. Just to humor myself.
I float on over to the spot marked with red and keep reading.
The funeral for Father was grand, even if Mother was too sick to properly attend. We had always been on the wealthier side. Really, I wouldn't have been able to get Neferu that turquoise bracelet otherwise. Anyway… the funeral. Father's body was placed in a quite nice tomb. I remember as the tomb was sealed with bricks, and I remember when it was done, and I remember them painting the mark of Heru on the newly constructed wall.
Heru…
Heru.
Heru the goddess, who likely still remains within this temple.
What if she knew how to help me?
She must know how to help me, she's a goddess! I just never considered this before because I was too worried that she'd burn me alive or something. But if I already know I'm going to lose myself… I have nothing else left to lose.
Excitement fills me. I even laugh. Finally, things are looking up again. I may be facing death, but I'm finally having some power over my life.
Okay. She would be in the deepest chamber, two floors below me…
I become immaterial again and sink through the floor. That's one floor. But I don't actually know where the chamber is horizontally speaking as I was never allowed there. But I did catch a glimpse of the doorway that leads to the stairs…
I float around a little bit until I find it. It's an archway at the northern edge of the temple with the mark of Heru carved atop it - a six-winged moth. I hover in and down the stairs. I meet a platform and more stairs beyond it, heading southwards. I descend those, too, and… another platform, and stairs down towards the north. How long is this staircase?
Very long, as it turns out. I count six platforms before I enter a little room with two lit torches on both sides of a large, large pair of wooden doors. This must be the entrance to Heru's chamber, and those torches must be burning with her eternal flame.
I hesitate. Do I really have the right to be here?
…Yes. Yes, I do.
I push on the doors. They're very heavy, but do budge when I put enough nonexistent muscle into it. I slip inside and stop as the majesty of what I see momentarily paralyzes me.
The chamber is tall, tall, very tall. Six huge pillars hold up the ceiling. The bricks of the floor are arranged in beautiful and elaborate patterns. More lit torches line the walls. And at the end of the chamber…
Four vases stand on pedestals in front of an altar, two on each side - surely for the waters of the famous gratitude ritual - and on the altar… there she is.
Her eyes are closed and her body is encased in a giant, glassy cocoon, but she is there. Heru, the Second Sun.
I bow deeply even if I think she's asleep. I can always bow again when she wakes up. If she wakes up… Gods, I hadn't even thought of that.
But that shouldn't stop me. I'm here to talk to her whether she's awake or not or even alive at all. That was always something I wanted to do, and I have to grant my one last wish before I disappear.
I straighten myself and float closer. Even as a ghost, I can feel the heat emanating from her. After all, it isn't regular heat - it's divine.
Once I'm close enough, I open my mouth. Nothing comes out the first few times I try as on some level I'm still afraid of being torched, but on the seventh, I manage to speak.
"My lady."
The heat grows stronger and her eyes open. I freeze.
"Be at ease, my child," she says. Her voice is… beautiful. It is so clear and warm, and there is a pleasant thrum to it…
"You are… a yamask," she adds.
I flinch. Is that a problem? Does she consider me impure?
"No, my child," she says. "I can sense you have no ill intent. Be at ease."
She can read my mind? Oh, well, sure. That seems like something a goddess can do.
Heru looks around. "This place… this place has aged."
I clear my throat. "Yes, my lady. It has been… a long time since you were last spoken to. I believe our civilization is… gone."
"I see…"
"I'm sorry."
"Do not be."
Huh?
"No kingdom is eternal," she says. "The only thing I must be certain of is that my seal will hold."
"Well, it has held well all this time."
"So it has." She pauses. "But I sense that delivering this news is not the reason you have come to me."
I nod solemnly. "I… My lady, I am afraid. As I am a yamask, it is my fate to evolve into a cofagrigus and lose my memories. But I do not want this. I do not want to forget my human life. Is there anything you can do to secure my memories?"
Heru is silent. I scratch the back of my hand as I wait for her answer, dreading the answer.
"You have feared the loss of yourself for a long time now," she says. "I can see it in your heart."
That's not really an answer. Oh, wait, I shouldn't think these impolite thoughts. Sorry.
Heru does not react to those thoughts, but continues speaking from where she left off. "You believe that the self is static. That you have only ever been one person. But is that true?"
"...Yes?" I say, unsure what she means.
"Really? Were you the same person as a six-year-old as when you were thirty?"
"Well, I was healthy at six, and quite sick at thirty, but --"
"No. When you were six, you loved dates. But when you were thirty, you found them too sweet, did you not?"
"...I did, but --"
"And has that face of yours, that which you considered such a core part of yourself that you thought you were as good as gone when it was consumed - was it the same since your birth?"
"No, but my lady, all those changes were gradual! Evolving will strip me of all my memories at once!"
"And what will you worry about after?"
I fall silent.
"...Nothing," I then say.
"Do you understand now?" Heru asks. "Change is part of life. Even I have changed, Qar. I was once a mere larvesta, crawling across the ground looking for leaves to eat, fearing the teeth of krookodile. And, Qar - I do not miss those days."
The thought of a divine being crawling like a lowly bug feels sacrilegious, but I suppose if Heru herself is describing it, she must be telling the truth…
I sigh. Is it really… alright? Alright for me to change?
"Your family has long since left this world," Heru says. "They no longer require your aid. They no longer require you to cling to your memories of them. Forget, Qar. Forget and live again."
"But…" Tears well up in my eyes. "I don't want to lose them. If I lose them… I'll have nothing."
"At first. But you have already had nothing before. You had nothing when you were born, and yet you gained so much. What prevents this from happening again?"
I… don't know.
I suppose I really can have a new --
The doors of the chamber slam open.
"There you are!" shouts Polly. "Been looking everywhere for you. You're lucky my new nose is so sharp."
"Polly?" I blink, then raise my hands. "Polly, no! You can't just barge in here like that! This is a sacred space!"
"It is alright," Heru says. "I can sense she, too, is here without ill intent."
"Whoa, who's the cool bug?"
"I am Heru, Polly. Pleased to meet you."
Polly's eyes widen. "The Heru? Oh, man, you rock!"
"...No?" I say. "She is insectoid and fiery."
Heru laughs gently. "I am flattered. But… Polly, may I ask a favor of you?"
"Anything for the big H," Polly says.
"I want you to watch over Qar and be there when he evolves. I want you to guide him in his new life. However, you cannot tell him anything that he does not ask of you himself. He must not be needlessly burdened with a life long past."
"Uhh…" Polly turns to me.
I give a hesitant smile. "If the goddess wills it… I will it, too."
Polly holds a stare, but then smiles, turning to Heru. "You got it, boss."
"Thank you. Now go, Qar and Polly. Go and live good lives, making new memories, however long they may last."
I bow. "Thank you, my lady. Thank you for your wisdom." I turn to Polly. "Let's go."
Polly tilts her head. "Eh? But we just got here." After I give her a serious stare, though, she relents. "Oh, alright." She waves at Heru. "It was nice meeting you, Heru!"
"Likewise. Good luck, both of you."
With that, she closes her eyes, and her heat fades to the level it was at before. In silence, Polly and I leave the chamber and ascend the stairs. Well, Polly complains a bit about all the steps, but that's it. We make it to the second basement, and Polly leads me up to the first basement me through the way she came.
"You remembered the way this time," I say.
"It felt important," Polly replies.
We continue making our way back up by utilizing Polly's supercharged digging until we arrive at the hallway my mask was stolen in. Harsiese is still there. I think for a moment that he might be dead, but then I hear him groan.
"What, are you back to beat on me some more?" he asks. "I swear I've learned my lesson."
"Well, I feel all soft inside right now, so I'll leave you be," Polly says and points to the spot in the ceiling that she drilled through before. "Exit's right over there. Go outside once you can. You really seem like you need it."
"Whatever," Harsiese mutters.
I don't have anything I want to say to Harsiese, so I don't. Polly jumps through the hole in the ceiling - wow, evolution has really made her strong. I float after her, and we continue walking towards the growing light. It's still much dimmer than the flames were in Heru's chamber, even once it shines in directly through the windows. I float up to the first one and look outside.
A sky full of stars.
Just as I remember it.
"It's pretty, right?" Polly says.
"Yeah."
Polly, apparently eager to get out of the temple as soon as possible, climbs through the window, and I follow her. Outside, sands stretch out to the horizon with no sign of vegetation, only brownish ruins here and there. I recognize them as the other gods' temples.
This place has really changed, but… it's okay.
"So!" Polly says, gesturing to the expanse. "Where do you want to go?"
I think for a moment, then turn to her with a smile.
"Somewhere new."
---