Brisa let the more diplomatic types talk down Shield and his gaggle of offworld mon. They could handle that for her. She was in no condition to be dealing with such things right now.
Yeah, you just can't deal with shit, can you?
She was busy contending with the effects of using so much Radiance and Shadow. Swirling thoughts, definitely her own, but both tainted with darkness and bursting at the seams. She was in so much
pain, too. She'd been burning alive the whole goddamn fight, sustained by healing efforts and her own tenacity.
You fucking feral. You're a goddamn liability. Power like yours should be in someone else's paws, not your own.
She tried to breathe steadily and stare at a fixed point. A patch of dust, each grain something to hold onto rather than listen to her own thoughts.
That's why you keep yearning for other mon. You want them to take the responsibility from you. Make your decisions for you.
"Fuuuuuck," she moaned, closing her eyes.
That too. It'll never happen, though. Pathetic.
"Brisa? Look at me, darlin'."
Luz' voice. Brisa didn't
want to look at her. She didn't want to hear what her thoughts had to say about her familiar. But Luz put a paw on each of Brisa's shoulders, and kept asking. So she opened her eyes and looked at the sable approximation of a zeraora. It occurred to Brisa as she studied Luz up close that Luz didn't look entirely like she'd have expected. She looked... a little like Brisa, too.
Your familiar is just YOU, bleeding out into the open for everyone to see, ain't she? An electric cat, desperate to connect with people, making them uncomfortable just by being in the same room as them, rash and arrogant and full of power she didn't earn. That's you. That's what you are.
She wimpered, trying to hide from her own brain. Why did her own thoughts sound so much like
Jesse–?
"Brisa, it's gonna be okay. It'll just take a minute to go away if you push a little. Come on, focus on me. Focus on the good things."
She couldn't think of any good things. Every good thing was marred by doubt. Luz was counterfeit. Astrid was too good for her. Curio didn't need her. Owen was better than her. Celeste needed more than her.
"Brisa? You were really somethin' takin' down those Legendaries. You always knew you could do it, and you darn well did it. Just think what Starr will have to say about you puttin' the hurt on a god, huh?"
Starr—
She'd already hurt Starr, with words and teeth, and yet... They were friends. That was right. She could get things wrong and it wouldn't mean losing everyone and everything forever. Starr proved that. She wasn't just a violent animal. She wasn't.
The light and shadow faded, and the painful thoughts with them.
She'd be okay.
