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"Hi," Dave said. "Did you know Maple's some kind of fucking monstrosity? Because I recently found that out."

Dave sat at the bar with his third glass of beer, trying his hardest to forget that Maple existed. So far, he was successful insofar as how on earth he could actually use a glass, on any level, was a more fascinating scientific puzzle than Maple could ever fucking hope to be. He tried to notice...

For a moment Dave's blood ran cold, then hot. So this was it, huh? She'd shown her true colors. What better to expect from the fucking God Squad? The gall of this cheery cult pretending they were friends. He wanted to tell her exactly where to shove it, but he didn't. His mouth had dried up, an...

"Brisa... what?" She was bedridden? "Where is she? Jesus Christ. People explode? What's overuse? Who the fuck are you and why should we trust anything you say after you pull this shit?"

Dave narrowed his eyes at Maple. "Okay, so overuse does what?"

"So... just being near somebody with Radiance pushes it onto you? So it's infectious? And you think that's great and you should expose us all to it?" Dave gave Maple a flat stare. "And you still haven't told me exactly what the fuck you mean by overuse can harm yourselves." He was silent for a...

Wait, holy shit. What the hell was Maple? Dave took a step back without thinking about it, alarmed. No regular-ass Smeargle could... what the fuck. "...Hold on," he said when he finally digested what she'd just said. "Against Bahamut?"

Dave jumped as Maple appeared out of nowhere, his fur standing on end, and irritably tried to get it to smooth itself back. "Don't play dumb. I didn't fucking agree to this. You did something to me even though I said no. And you said, what, overuse can harm yourselves? That's the vaguest terms...

Dave only made a quick visit to the Hidden Quarters to leave Squiggly there ("I'll be back later and then we can get you out of the damn jar, all right?") before heading back out. He had something more pressing to attend to. He shoved open the door of Wigglytuff's Guild as decisively as he...

Dave sighed. “Yeah. I guess.” With that, he accompanied Owen back to the Dojo, along with Squiggly the Shade.

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” Dave rolled his eyes. ...But they probably should have a name for it, shouldn’t they, if only to be able to talk about it. He sagged. “Look, it’s just, we can call it Squiggly or something. Squiggly? You okay with that? Chirp once for yes.” He looked back at the Shade in the...

Dave looked at the Shade in the jar. "...Just to be sure, one chirp for yes and two for no, is anyone coordinating you?" He scowled at Owen's suggestion. "I... look..." He looked at the Shade's wriggling form again for a few moments, reluctant. Was he seriously stuck with it? Why wasn't it...

Dave stared at the jar. One way or another, he was inclined to believe it, that it had no idea what they were talking about. "Do you know how many other people have been possessed?" Probably not, at this point. "Are you at all coordinated? Like, is there somebody telling you to infect...

"We're not letting it out out. I'm not dumb. We can put it in a nice cell or something. Somewhere it can at least, you know, turn around in?" He scowled at Soda. "Look, it understands what we're saying, answers questions and can do mental arithmetic. Does Arceus teach you it only counts if it's...

Dave hesitated. It was sapient, understood math. The notion of keeping it in a small jar was... uncomfortable. On the other hand, it was also a fucking brain slug that possessed people, and just letting it out because it was cute would be idiotic. "Hey. We can get you out of the jar, but only...

Dave's ears perked up at the three chirps. "Huh. What else do you understand? What's two plus two? Do you have a name?"

Dave blinked as the Shade chirped at him. Oh. Oh no. Had it just imprinted on him? Had he just become responsible for another grotesque horrorblob in a jar? Somehow he didn't think this one would grow up into a merely slime-covered kid. "Uh." Even so, his mind buzzed with what this meant...

Dave looked at the squirming Shade for a second, then glanced back at Owen before turning to Soda. “Hey,” he said. “I don’t know about your universe, but where I come from we think it’s bad to intentionally leave people to die, even if they’re shitty. Fancy that. Did Arceus ever figure out that...

Dave winced as he looked at the struggling Shade. "Hey, Soda, got any way to capture that thing? Or do we just...?"

Soda? Soda was here. Why did the fucking God Squad have to intervene, of all people. Whatever. He charged towards the Garchomp, hoping to get an Assurance in while the golden barrier was still protecting him.