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Koa considered for a moment. How long had he been here for? Probably not a year yet, so he figured he was still 14. "Yeah, I'm 14. That's the age when a kid is allowed to become a trainer. In my region at least." Or it used to be. A momentary flicker of curiosity came over him. "How old are you?"

Logging a 920 words review for HOC chapters Prologue & 1-4 https://forums.thousandroads.net/index.php?threads/pokemon-mystery-dungeon-hands-of-creation.22/post-35721 So... idk like 5 blecs or whatever?

Alrighty alrighty I'm taking the plunge. I won't do much heavy critique cause like... idk this is chapter 1. And it doesn't seem like it'd be ultra helpful. I'll stick to some discussions, line-by-lines and commentary. First up, what an intro. Some perplexing sudden violent action, suddenly...

Koa felt absolutely nauseous at the mention of people controlling and manipulating legendaries. A pit twisted in his stomach and clenched at his throat, despite his best efforts to ignore it. A few more uncomfortable memories gnawed at him. You've seen that. You know exactly what happens when...

[Honey > Team Spectrum] What a cool song! I like it!

Koa frowned. "Verifiably? I mean technically you wouldn't know. No one would, since they weren't there. Can you verify what created your world?" he asked, more perplexed and curious than anything else. "And it seems a little pessimistic to assume just because someone has power that they would...

Koa cringed inwardly at the mention of weird nuts. Most people in his world at least believed a few of the legendaries existed, though one or two he'd encountered insisted they were fake, exaggerated or now dead. It wasn't the first time 'weird' was mentioned. Although by the sound of it, Dave's...

Ho-Ohs feathers... Dave's world sounded depressing. "Yeah, I was a trainer back home." He couldn't muster much excitement, however. He suppressed a sigh. Normally he was more than happy to discuss stuff about his team and being a trainer. But right now he just felt restless and uneasy. He...

Koa quickly shook his head. He didn't, couldn't, talk to that one. "We still need to find the other ones. If they're still under the same mindset that Soda is or was or... whatever, they could pose a risk." It was that simple. There'd be no point in talking to the other one. That was all. He...

Koa looked away for a moment, clenching his jaw. He hated Soda. Or had hated him. Actual confirmation that his memories had been screwed with like that complicated things. He didn't know what to think anymore. Half of him wanted to fight him for what he'd done. The other half of him wanted to...

The question caught Koa somewhat off guard. He frowned a little, a bitter taste in his mouth. The thought of how Soda had tried to tempt him still had him conflicted. "Yeah, he did. And to be honest I don't know. Probably not though. Soda doesn't seem like he trusted anyone much." He paused and...

Koa eyed him. He looked tired, not that he could blame him. Everyone was. Might as well cut to the point though. "I've scouring everywhere, trying to find the other... 'Sodas'." Whatever they were. He was still trying to wrap his mind around these 'autonomous' substitutes. "I thought maybe you...

Koa edged into the house and glanced around. No sign of Brisa or Owen. Good. He only meant to stop by the house for a minute, grab something from the fridge and head back out. The other Soda's were still out there, and they were either their best shot at finding out more about what was going on...

"Of course," Koa murmured quietly. There was so much more he wanted to express in those words, but he couldn't quite bring himself to. His throat tightened but he smiled anyway, the expression still genuine. Being able to help, even in some small way, made him happy. He felt as if he would do...

Koa stared at her, his gaze unreadable. Inside, a degree of suspicion and surprise swirled inside him. He almost wanted to believe she was lying to garner sympathy, but he knew that wasn't true. Not only could he sense for himself that she seemed truthful now, but Owen would have said something...

So Icetales mother lived. That thought alone was.... a lot. He couldn't begin to imagine how that would feel. To have believed for his whole life no doubt that she was gone. His father mnipulating things and pulling the strings. It made his blood boil. Pressing down his anger, he listened...

A grim expression settled on Koa's face. Her words were truth, this much he knew. Otherwise Owen could have sensed it. How awful.... To know that's one's father would do such a thing. A hint of unease prickled in his stomach, but he ignored it. "Did your father have something to do with Fifth...

Smug satisfaction spread Koa as he watched her stammering and scrambling to reply. Perhaps that would teach her to choose her words more carefully. And especially to think twice on who she challenged. As Icetales continued to speak, a seed of pride took root, growing more and more and Icetales...

Koa bristled, his anger flaring. Beneath his anger, a moment of panic rose, before he smashed it down. A few sparks flickered through his fur but he kept his jaws shut for the time being as the conversation continued. A time and a place for everything.... Though he couldn't help but be both...

"Maybe you're the facade. Maybe you just sit up here all day, thinking you're so high and mighty to hide that you feel like a pathetic and sorry excuse for a sister and a pokemon," Koa growled, leering at her, eyes cold. He glanced over at Icetales, who seemed hurt by her comment. "The only...