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This was giving Abigail a headache. She pressed her not-hands to her forehead. "What? You were definitely talking about pulling us out of the multiverse rope, which was the same thing the intern on the radio, Elbert, had talked about. You're telling me that two people both had the idea to pull...

"Let. Him. Go!" Abigail stomped her foot, her not-hands balling into not-fists at her sides. "I turned the fucking lift on. I turned it on because there's someone trapped over there, and no I don't care you think this is going to make things diverge from your plan, because that already happened...

Abigail grumbled. She was supposed to be the one confusing Zeke, not the other way around... She just wanted the ski lift turned on... Though if he was no longer the teenager too spiteful to allow it on, maybe she could just... reach out with her telekinesis and... pull the lever herself. This...

Abigail had a passing familiarity with string theory and Elbert's explanation did not match what she knew at all. What she could gather, though, was that they had been cut out of the multiverse. They were all fucking dead, and she'd say as much if Gen wouldn't have a panic attack if she admitted it.

Abigail hugged Gen back. A moment later, she began to run her hand-ish thing through Gen's head fur, which was about as close as she could get to her dad stroking her hair when she needed comfort. "Of all the people here, Gen, you are sure to be safe. Take a deep breath. You'll be fine." I'm the...

"Wow! Brilliant! Thank you for reminding of the possibility that I don't actually exist. Thanks. Why didn't I think of that myself?" She melodramatically sighed. "Oh right. I think... therefore I am. Despite the fact that all known laws of science and logic are collapsing around me, my own...

"I'm a human, so I shouldn't have a soul, but you promised you managed to cram one into me when you turned me into a ralts! If you got that wrong, you have absolutely nobody to blame but whoever's running this dumpster fire!" Abigail paused. "Wait a fucking second. You also told us that you...

"No, no. He's not with the people running the mountain. We're talking about the idiots who shoved the mountain into a pocked dimension and let it devolve into a festive-themed murder. We do have a Palkia with us, but they not this worlds Palkia, and don't have their powers here because some...

Abigail looked out towards the other side of the cliff. "Okay, the soup is no-strings-attached, that's just yours because you fucking deserve at least that much for getting caught up in this bullshit... But on an unrelated note, the poor intern stuck trying to fix the mistakes of the idiots who...

She looked at her Bingo card and shouted back down the hill. "Anyone got an N42 ball?"

"To go, please." Once she had the soup, Abigail began the ascent to Zeke's cabin. She was very done with Elbert. "Oh, so your counsel would've killed them if they weren't so unable to accomplish anything that even their fuck-up doesn't actually do what they thought it would. How very like this...

Abigail nodded. "Yes, Zeke. Not Zane, which is what Lee said."

Abigail waved to Sevanna. "Zane's not playing hooky, I found him stuck in the operator's booth. He's been stuck there for what seems to be this entire week, and he's out of food. I would like to feed the poor guy, because I don't want him to starve before the committee that turned this place...

Abigail held her head in her hands. "Then who the fuck did fool the Lens of Nia? Also, that means that Palkia is probably trying to kill me instead. Which is not much of an improvement, from my perspective."

She shrugged as if discussing a casual subject. "Wormholes. Aliens. We thought we were winning for a while, but then what we can only assume to be their god showed up, and now we're looking pretty much fucked."

"Huh. I wonder if it works across dimensions... Though that'd bring you to me, not the other way around. That's no good. You don't want to end up in my world. Especially not if you end up back as a human."

Abigail shrugged. "Sure. On that less murderous note... Gen, what was it your bonnet did back there? I was a bit distracted at the time, but it lit up."

"Well, there is an item that's explicitly a candy cane, and it's the fucking murder weapon that started all this. If that one's was very explicitly a candy cane, and mine was also a candy cane, then then why would the one I brought not be called a candy cane? The names are clearly phrased to be...

Abigail sighed. "Well, the candy cane that killed the Claus is obviously, blatantly evil. Someone's out to get me and my partner, so I can only assume that it's the one with, y'know, the other murder weapon. It's not exactly much of a logical leap."

Abigail wanted to scream. "No you fucking don't have the candy cane that killed the Krampus, because it doesn't fucking exist. It is not a candy cane."