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God, his fucking obnoxious emoticons. If this was actually the creator of this universe and not Soda being a dick, maybe they should think twice about saving it. [Scotch > Pop]: Cool. Thanks. He put his badge away. "Well, 'Arceus' says he's doing fuck-all because it's all a distortion but...

[Scotch > Pop]: Well, I don't recall saying anything of the sort, so that's a fail grade on the infallibility. Did you find Brisa and Starr, or are you just taking your time fucking around on your badge a bit first?

Dave stared at the badge. "Wh--" He narrowed his eyes towards Soda, who was busily tapping at his own badge, but the holographic interface showed some kind of game (...was that Flappy Bird?), not the messaging app. Not that he couldn't make it look like he was playing a game while actually doing...

Oh, of course Arceus was out there personally searching for Starr and Brisa. Just eager to help these two particular people. Why didn't they just fucking call God for every problem. Not that he'd believe this was really Arceus and not Soda's illusions (fucking Christ, Pop, it was practically a...

Dave narrowed his eyes at Karat. "...A Pokéball? Is that what you were going to say?"

Dave let out a burst of laughter as the Mudkip waltzed in and barely paused before throwing insults at Karat. The balls on that kid, huh? But then... "Pop, huh. Pop. So you think he created the universe? Has he always been so friendly and approachable?"

Dave snorted. "Yeah, uh, they're not very old tales. Mewtwo, the definitely real superweapon genetically engineered from the definitely real Mew by the government, hidden at a top-secret military facility, something something aliens, Big Brother is watching us, the deep state wants to...

Dave blinked, looking between Chip and Soda. "I'm sorry, a Mewtwo?" He let out a disbelieving chuckle. "Are you serious? Fucking Mewtwo?"

Dave glanced at Squiggly. This whole thing still gave him the creeps, to be honest. Could they get out? Even if they were drawn to it, did that actually mean it was good? Flies were drawn to Venus flytrap plants, for fuck's sake. Even if they felt great in there, technically, if you locked a...

Dave narrowed his eyes at the lump. "Hey, wiggle once for yes, twice for no. You comfy in there?"

"Owen, what--" Dave was about to say it could infect him, but no, clearly Owen had done this before, which was still bad. "They only brainslug when they're hungry? Did you seriously just let it out and see what happened?"

"What do you mean it doesn't seem to mind? Can you ask it and get an answer while it's inside? Can it get back out?" He glanced at Squiggly, over in his cage. "Look, science isn't just about fucking around and seeing what happens. You could chop people in half and see what happens, but that's...

Dave gave Soda a skeptical look. "So you think the Shades get... absorbed by these rocks somehow? Is there a reason you think that's a good thing?"

Dave blinked at the Porygon-Z. He'd gotten used to this world having all the same Pokémon except they talked, but a fucking AI virtual assistant? What was next, Clippy? "Hi," he said. "What's this about?"

"Wait, excuse me?" Dave said. "Let me get this straight, the so-called God Squad just appeared out of nowhere one day? Nobody has any reason to trust them? Other than the god that conveniently came down to tell you to? Even if you think Arceus is real and omnibenevolent and just conveniently...

"Yeah, also, just so you know, the other day Maple told me if she ever caught even a hint that we're not trustworthy and aligned with their goals of saving Cibus, she'll just fucking obliterate us. So there's that."

Dave sat in a corner and sighed in exasperation, waiting for Diyem to get to the point. Curio had already told him the what, but exactly how Diyem went about talking about it was probably worth hearing.

Dave hesitated. Hardly the best timing from Diyem, was it? That said, he had a pretty good idea what he was about to talk to them about, and while it'd be real nice if they could actually do something to find Starr and Brisa rather than twiddling their thumbs waiting for Maple to do it... "You...

As everything dissolved into ridiculous squabbling (not that he could entirely blame Curio here), the Mudkip was somehow the only person with sense, trying to make actual progress. He moved toward him and Owen, listened to Diyem's answer. "Wait, so can you or can't you confirm they're not where...

Dave sighed. “Fine, yeah, I’m coming.” At least Maple wouldn’t be there. He trotted over to join Owen, Curio and Nip.