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"I'm a human, so I shouldn't have a soul, but you promised you managed to cram one into me when you turned me into a ralts! If you got that wrong, you have absolutely nobody to blame but whoever's running this dumpster fire!" Abigail paused. "Wait a fucking second. You also told us that you...

"No, no. He's not with the people running the mountain. We're talking about the idiots who shoved the mountain into a pocked dimension and let it devolve into a festive-themed murder. We do have a Palkia with us, but they not this worlds Palkia, and don't have their powers here because some...

Abigail looked out towards the other side of the cliff. "Okay, the soup is no-strings-attached, that's just yours because you fucking deserve at least that much for getting caught up in this bullshit... But on an unrelated note, the poor intern stuck trying to fix the mistakes of the idiots who...

She looked at her Bingo card and shouted back down the hill. "Anyone got an N42 ball?"

"To go, please." Once she had the soup, Abigail began the ascent to Zeke's cabin. She was very done with Elbert. "Oh, so your counsel would've killed them if they weren't so unable to accomplish anything that even their fuck-up doesn't actually do what they thought it would. How very like this...

Abigail nodded. "Yes, Zeke. Not Zane, which is what Lee said."

Abigail waved to Sevanna. "Zane's not playing hooky, I found him stuck in the operator's booth. He's been stuck there for what seems to be this entire week, and he's out of food. I would like to feed the poor guy, because I don't want him to starve before the committee that turned this place...

Abigail held her head in her hands. "Then who the fuck did fool the Lens of Nia? Also, that means that Palkia is probably trying to kill me instead. Which is not much of an improvement, from my perspective."

She shrugged as if discussing a casual subject. "Wormholes. Aliens. We thought we were winning for a while, but then what we can only assume to be their god showed up, and now we're looking pretty much fucked."

"Huh. I wonder if it works across dimensions... Though that'd bring you to me, not the other way around. That's no good. You don't want to end up in my world. Especially not if you end up back as a human."

Abigail shrugged. "Sure. On that less murderous note... Gen, what was it your bonnet did back there? I was a bit distracted at the time, but it lit up."

"Well, there is an item that's explicitly a candy cane, and it's the fucking murder weapon that started all this. If that one's was very explicitly a candy cane, and mine was also a candy cane, then then why would the one I brought not be called a candy cane? The names are clearly phrased to be...

Abigail sighed. "Well, the candy cane that killed the Claus is obviously, blatantly evil. Someone's out to get me and my partner, so I can only assume that it's the one with, y'know, the other murder weapon. It's not exactly much of a logical leap."

Abigail wanted to scream. "No you fucking don't have the candy cane that killed the Krampus, because it doesn't fucking exist. It is not a candy cane."

Abigail narrowed her eyes. "Yes. I know you claim to have used a hen and not your primary item. That was only a lie if you claimed to have the item I actually brought, which was supposed to kill us. I don't care about that anymore, because the most important question is why you have the The...

Abigail wagged a finger. "Wrong answer. The item I brought was not a candy cane at all. The Cane That Killed The Krampus is an walking cane. While Vaporeon didn't test it, I assume it to be a cane-sword. There is an killing item that is a candy cane, though. My partner brought The Candy Cane...

She narrowed her eyes at Palkia. "There's just one problem, Palkia. You're lying. I don't know what you were lying about, but you made an assumption, and it's about to bite you in the ass." "You assumed that the fact that I brought a "murder weapon" meant I brought your item. There's just one...

Abigail took the bingo card. "Thank you." It made no sense for him to give it to her without knowing the thing was throwing bingo stuff at them. "May I ask why you're giving me this in particular? I have a use for it, but... I'm curious." "Anyways," she said, turning to leave, "I'll make sure...

Abigail sighed, "I guess of all the things I could've been turned into, it could've been worse. I could've been a Muk, or a Seviper, or a Trubbish. Ralts and Gardevoir are close to my old human body, at least..." She paused for a moment, thinking. "The word 'human' doesn't mean anything to you...

Abigail sighed. "Please just turn on the lift, thank you very much." After a moment, Abigail looked down at her ralts body. "I'm going to need a fucking stepstool to get up, too, aren't I? Yveltal embrace my artificially-grafted soul, I'm going to die of embarrassment..."