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Another one, taking on all the fics that I've been meaning to get to for Blacklight purposes... this time The Makings of a Hero, chapter 1! This one is >350. Once again, 1+1

Heya Fuse, this is a review of the first chapter! I think your first few paragraphs did well in establishing the central conflict of what appears to be a short story. Good start, because it means you didn’t dabble with too much backstory than necessary, and you can probably sprinkle in those...

Darkwhite rolled her eyes and shook her remote unceremoniously. "Really? I'm Mew. I've seen, like, everyone."

"Betrayed a friend?" Darkwhite asked, frowning. She glared at the game, wondering just how far it would go to suggest what a betrayal counted. "I guess I might have. Who knows with how this thing judges things?! If there's only one cookie left on the plate and your best friend was going to get...

"And I never even created that fusion thing! I get in that guy's way because he's annoying!" Darkwhite huffed, but then drifted back and stared at Jesse. She wasn't going to lose. "Okay, well, never have I ever been a human!" She smirked. "How about that, huh?"

Darkwhite frowned. "I didn't even do anything for those guys!" she glared at the machine, wondering the best way to dismantle it and the Porygon inside. But she also didn't like losing, so she shook.

Darkwhite seemed confused. "You better work on your notes, Porygon-in-a-box! Just because I look kinda like a Mewtwo doesn't mean I am one! Or whoever that big light dragon is supposed to be. I was just having a good time!" She huffed, turning around. "This game's broken."

"Well, I don't have a kid, so I definitely haven't! And I'm definitely not bothering with world destruction! In fact, I'm saving a world back where I'm from!" Darkwhite giggled, floating back. "Just because I look scary doesn't mean I'm a bad guy! I just like having fun is all!"

Review for Out of Hand chapter 1, >300 words, so 1+1 points!

[Chapter 1] Hey Neb! This is my review for Out of Hand’s first chapter (as I don’t have a whole lot of time to review more than that) but I’d like to say, this was a very strong opening chapter despite not having any actual action or critical stakes in it. I would argue that this is how you...

"Hey, so," Darkwhite said, curling her arms around Jesse's neck--due to her size, she barely made it around. She whispered into his ear, "What's your idea of a date, huh? Skydiving? Hiking? Calamities? I haven't been on a date before." She was still looking at Jesse's hands, occasionally making...

Darkwhite was busy trying to size Jesse up, making odd comparisons about his fur thickness and limbs and eye shape. "Hmmm, if you're going to try to date that Scyther, that means you're probably going to have to figure out how to dice food for cooking better, and that's just not going to cut...

"I think this tofu got too dry and fossilized," Darkwhite announced, waving the rectangle in the air. "And moldy!"

"Eh?" Darkwhite prodded a little more, then tried to pull at whatever was inside.

"Say, what would happen if we catapulted the couch?" Darkwhite asked, prodding at the cushions.

"Hmmmmmmm..." Darkwhite stared at Jesse, eyes narrowed, and then pulled back with a shrug. "She likes to fight so I'm gonna fight her. Simple! If you think that's harming, then you're not Pokemon enough yet."

"I think she's fine. I'm kinda surprised you care!" Darkwhite laughed, twirling in midair. "The way she talked about you, I thought you'd just shrug her off and say good riddance!"

Darkwhite's tongue was quite rough, but once she floated back, she kept her tongue flapping in front of her, and then hummed. "Hmmmm... yep! Yeah I definitely know what you are! You're the dad of someone I ran into a little bit ago! The, uh, what's her name... I forget! Grayish Shinx, though...

Little review for chapters 1-3 of Liberators of Fate. Clocks in at just over 750 words if you exclude quotes and my rewritten passage suggestion (900 or so if you include it) so 3 + 1, for what I believe is a total of 12.

[Review for chapters 1~3] Hey Navar! Time to blitz along and give your fic a read next! This is going to be a review up to chapter 3. So the story begins pretty simply, a classic tale of establishing a town and their brief home life and background before setting off on an adventure for...