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"I mean, yeah. I've been a Pokémon for a fucking day. Not the most thought-out decision on Diyem's part to expect us all to be able to fight worth shit, to be honest."

"I mean, I guess it depends how you define a 'demon', but, uh. What they call demons in my universe definitely doesn't exist, and the thing called dark matter in my universe does exist but is very much not a fucking demon." Dave paused. "When you say 'demon', are we actually talking some kinda...

"...a demon." Dave looked at the strange creature, deadpan. "Right."

Dave blinked at the alien, then burst into a snort of laughter. "The talking Pokémon have grenades. Okay. Man, this fucking universe." Honestly that probably sounded better than actually fighting-fighting. "So what, you've got planets like mine in your universe? Do they have Pokémon or humans...

All right, do I post here to distribute my stat points? I think I'd like to do... +8 to Stamina +7 to Attack +6 to HP +3 to Defense +4 to Resistance I'd also like to learn Howl and Sand-Attack, such that Dave's moveset is now Tackle, Taunt, Howl and Sand-Attack.

"Sorry, can we start with what the fuck a Blast Seed is? Some of us are from worlds that look nothing like this one." Dave paused for a moment. "If we've got somebody who can hit them where it hurts, well - don't we just need some other people to be there to distract them, draw their attention?"

Dave wandered back into the main square. Where had everyone gone? He supposed he did hear a commotion somewhere in the dojo as he was leaving it; maybe some of the idiots here had gone and started a fight and it'd distracted everyone. He wouldn't be surprised. He eyed Owen and the big low-poly...

Thanks for an insightful review! Mmm, yeah. I've never been entirely happy with the development of the narrator's relationship with Pidgey. I set about editing this basically deciding I wasn't going to add more scenes or majorly flesh it out, because I wanted to actually get a thing posted...

The box bonked Dave in the head and then fell to the ground. "Jesus. What's wrong with you." Could dogs eat chocolate in this world? ...Whatever. Let Diyem fix it. "Thanks for the chocolate, asshole." He picked up the box in his jaws and left the room.

Dave stared at him, everything boiling. "An apology? You bizarre fucking shitclown. Here you are sneaking into rooms like the creepiest fucking stalker, going on about your fucking feelings for me, and I'm the fucking weirdo? I swear to God, you may be the most insufferable motherfucker I've...

"Oh my God. You are out of your fucking mind." Even as he said that, even as all that ran through his head was how this insane fucking excuse for a person could even exist, the fact the Zangoose was three times his size somehow rendered the whole situation less funny than it should have been...

"Oh my God. Are you fucking serious with this?" Somehow, among all the levels on which this was ridiculous, the one that truly stuck out was that anyone whose idea of sexy was a fucking Poochyena should not be dated by anyone.

Dave peered at the babbling Zane, and at the heart-shaped box. "...Please tell me you're not trying to say what it sounds like you're trying to say."

"Augh! What the fuck -" Dave jolted awake in a state of sudden panic as an unfamiliar weight flopped onto his back. His limbs failed automatically for purchase, and after a second of struggling he managed to squeeze out from underneath the mass of white fur. Without thinking, on instinct, he...

"Nope. Fuck this. I'm going back to bed." Dave turned around and padded back to the Hidden Quarters, flopping back down on one of the beds.

Beta-read half of a one-shot (13 pages) for NebulaDreams yesterday.

"Not exactly a substitute for playing an instrument that doesn't knock out the audience, then, is it?" Dave said. "But yeah. Let's get back. For my parts, I want something to eat. And drink." With that, they headed back towards the dojo.

"Ah, well, it's not that, exactly." Dave glanced away. "It's... she got shot in the arm, has some nerve damage. But even if she physically could, there's some legal shit going on so she couldn't attend lessons anyways. It's a load of bullshit but it is what it is." Dave blinked at the conjured...

Dave nodded along. "Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Not exactly how we think it went in my world, but..." Hold on, how did the same Pokémon species evolve in different ways in all these different worlds? ...All of this just made his head hurt. Whatever. If there was world-hopping and a billion...

Dave nodded slowly. "In my world at least, Grass Pokémon are biologically distinct from actual plants. They've basically got a standard Pokémon genome in a symbiotic relationship with plant DNA. Actually part of how... I worked out how to artificially make human and Pokémon genomes work...