OmegaDusk
Mimikyu
- Pronouns
- He/him
Warnings : Not many, but I mean, uh, I have describe the butchering of all your favorite cuddly animals...
Oh. So you want to try your hand at cooking? That's fine. You can go off and use normal plants and animals and whatever lame berries you have. Go do kiddie stuff that a toddler could beat you at. Have fun.
Huh? You're serious? Thought you just looked like you wanted to do some boring outdoor survival show and wanted to do some unscripted cooking. Oh, you do? Then make it fully unscripted unlike a certain cook who runs a show that begins with an H, ends with an N, and is two words long and sounds like Nell's Kitchen.
Oh, you did, nice. But before we get to the recipes we need to talk some common sense. Let the SBS begin!
On Cooking Evolutions :
Just don't. Evolutions tend to be more tougher and has less of the lovely succulent fat. They are also usually packed full of random chemicals and magic hand waving that no one explains. First stage pokemon aren't as built for battle and are therefore much less stringy and tend to be well-marbled. There are some exceptions. Octillery, for instance, should be cooked rather than remoraid. Toxapex's fatty limbs are much easier cooked than Mareanie's. But in general, don't cook your Charizard and cook its baby instead.
On Cooking Eggs :
You're sick in the head. I'm calling the police.
On Berries :
Berries actually contain ample amounts of protein. They're pretty magical in that aspect and any chef worth his Nacli should know which berries have which properties. For instance, a Kasib berries tend to be very sweet, starchy, and heat-resistant meaning they're great for desserts but Oran berries spoil easily in the oven so you should avoid using them. Also, contrary to popular belief, Tamato berries shouldn't be used as a spicy seasoning. They'll numb your tongue and prevent the food from being tasted.
On Pokerus :
Look, we're getting dominated by kids. Of course we don't know the difference between a virus and a prion. Pokerus is the latter, not a virus. A virus can be destroyed with heat. A prion can't. So don't cook mons with pokerus or you risk getting some brain disease. Also, Berserk Genes and Chemical R are RNA based so a pokemon under the effect of that is fine to eat with correct preparations.
On Waste :
You should have a personal army of Trubbish ready. A lot of Pokemon aren't completely suitable for eating so you will see a lot of waste. Yes, it's completely ethical, if you feel bad just grind up your former friend's leftovers and make a sausage. It isn't the wurst thing someone has done to an animal.
On Plant-Like Pokemon :
Talking about them is a little complex, but the short and sweet part is : they suck. They pump you full of stress and plant hormones so never cook them, never let a shady cook give them to you, and if you want to try them, dine and dash at a world famous cafe and wait for the police I called 3 sections ago.
On Togepi :
Yeah, this gets a special section just for it. Don't cook it because, for some mysterious reason, you get really bad luck afterwards. Now, if you serve it to your dying great-grandparents and they just want one last meal, I will say, it tastes great! i'll elaborate on that later. The first bite tastes like heaven. The second then takes you there.
On Igglybuff :
Numerous people have died from choking on it, so refrain from making it. I haven't made it myself but people say it is oddly gummy and chewy like some kind of bacon flavored mochi. It won't be mentioned anywhere else in the book though. If you really want to try, just eat a Pinap berry's core.
With all that out of the way, next chapter we can begin! Have fun until then while I try to write it as I eat my omelet.
The Introduction of Cooking (Pokemon)
Oh. So you want to try your hand at cooking? That's fine. You can go off and use normal plants and animals and whatever lame berries you have. Go do kiddie stuff that a toddler could beat you at. Have fun.
Huh? You're serious? Thought you just looked like you wanted to do some boring outdoor survival show and wanted to do some unscripted cooking. Oh, you do? Then make it fully unscripted unlike a certain cook who runs a show that begins with an H, ends with an N, and is two words long and sounds like Nell's Kitchen.
Oh, you did, nice. But before we get to the recipes we need to talk some common sense. Let the SBS begin!
On Cooking Evolutions :
Just don't. Evolutions tend to be more tougher and has less of the lovely succulent fat. They are also usually packed full of random chemicals and magic hand waving that no one explains. First stage pokemon aren't as built for battle and are therefore much less stringy and tend to be well-marbled. There are some exceptions. Octillery, for instance, should be cooked rather than remoraid. Toxapex's fatty limbs are much easier cooked than Mareanie's. But in general, don't cook your Charizard and cook its baby instead.
On Cooking Eggs :
You're sick in the head. I'm calling the police.
On Berries :
Berries actually contain ample amounts of protein. They're pretty magical in that aspect and any chef worth his Nacli should know which berries have which properties. For instance, a Kasib berries tend to be very sweet, starchy, and heat-resistant meaning they're great for desserts but Oran berries spoil easily in the oven so you should avoid using them. Also, contrary to popular belief, Tamato berries shouldn't be used as a spicy seasoning. They'll numb your tongue and prevent the food from being tasted.
On Pokerus :
Look, we're getting dominated by kids. Of course we don't know the difference between a virus and a prion. Pokerus is the latter, not a virus. A virus can be destroyed with heat. A prion can't. So don't cook mons with pokerus or you risk getting some brain disease. Also, Berserk Genes and Chemical R are RNA based so a pokemon under the effect of that is fine to eat with correct preparations.
On Waste :
You should have a personal army of Trubbish ready. A lot of Pokemon aren't completely suitable for eating so you will see a lot of waste. Yes, it's completely ethical, if you feel bad just grind up your former friend's leftovers and make a sausage. It isn't the wurst thing someone has done to an animal.
On Plant-Like Pokemon :
Talking about them is a little complex, but the short and sweet part is : they suck. They pump you full of stress and plant hormones so never cook them, never let a shady cook give them to you, and if you want to try them, dine and dash at a world famous cafe and wait for the police I called 3 sections ago.
On Togepi :
Yeah, this gets a special section just for it. Don't cook it because, for some mysterious reason, you get really bad luck afterwards. Now, if you serve it to your dying great-grandparents and they just want one last meal, I will say, it tastes great! i'll elaborate on that later. The first bite tastes like heaven. The second then takes you there.
On Igglybuff :
Numerous people have died from choking on it, so refrain from making it. I haven't made it myself but people say it is oddly gummy and chewy like some kind of bacon flavored mochi. It won't be mentioned anywhere else in the book though. If you really want to try, just eat a Pinap berry's core.
With all that out of the way, next chapter we can begin! Have fun until then while I try to write it as I eat my omelet.
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