Destiny Village ~ Hot Cocoa Therapy Offices

[Namohysip]

"A human... Much like your father. Do you think that could have any relation to it? After all, when it comes to humanity, I do not think... there is much relation to it other than that." Fugu was still in the phase of bringing up all of these thoughts so Brisa could explore them thoroughly. So far, Brisa did not need a battle; the words came naturally. That was, usually, the ideal.

"Humanity. Ascending. A change of form. Do you think it's related?"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Could be? I feel like they're two different things. Y'can try to become a human, or y'can try to become a zeraora, but y'sure can't have two true forms yer meant to take, right? 'Less, maybe, it's a choice. 'Cause I get that they're similar concerns."

She chewed the inside of her cheek.

"Least this path seems possible to even pursue in the first place... After all, I can do it. Goddamnit, I could do it right now."

 

[Namohysip]

"You could," Fugu said. "Which body do you prefer? How would you feel if, one day, you shifted to your Zeraora form... and found that it became 'solid?' That you could no longer go back, truly?"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Brisa groaned. "How could I tell somethin' like that? I've imagined it a thousand times as a kid, but..."

Starr looked relieved to see ya back to yer normal self.

"It's all too muddled up. And it ain't a real zeraora body anyway. I still had my luxray vision, I still looked more or less like this, and..."

I didn't change. Yer Shadow ain't a zeraora, not really.

 

[Namohysip]

"Muddled," Fugu repeated, and then the rough sound of her blade snapped them to attention. Like before, the desk slid to the side. "Perhaps you are speaking too carefully for yourself. We shall see... what you think in battle. Are you ready?"

Fugu was already in her usual defensive stance.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Thunder, but she needed a battle. And against Fugu, she could safely let loose.

Is that right? Y'got a lot more power now'n last time.

Brisa's fur bloomed into white plasma as she kicked her chair away and snarled with pure emotional frustration. She lashed out at Fugu, electricity at her teeth and claws, and the pressure to think it all through ebbed away.

"What if I don't fuckin' deserve it, huh?" she yelled, between strikes. "Meringue'll be trainin' fer fuckin' decades! How could that guy not resent me fer takin' a fuckin' shortcut usin' Dark Matter's powers?"

The emotions flowed properly, like lightning, when she battled. Everything would be so much easier if people just fought her...

They'd see who she really was.

Brisa Unleashed her Tenacity!

She was faster, stronger, tougher, like this. Could command her energies with a deftness her usual body couldn't match. It didn't feel like a Legendary's strength, not quite yet, but it was goddamn extraordinary all the same...

The plasma washed over her, healing her body, empowering her attacks, feeling goddamn good.

Do you deserve this?

 

[Namohysip]

"A shortcut with a price," Fugu said with a bite to her tone when she blocked the first volley of attacks. Each day that passed, Brisa became stronger and stronger, but even still, Fugu was able to keep up. "It's no secret that this rapid growth comes with a short life. Your days here are numbered! How do you think Meringue would feel about that?"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"I'd spend the years if I had the choice," cried Brisa, her voice subtly different in her altered form. If Fugu was fazed to fight a legendary, even a fake one, she didn't show it. "But I gotta pay that price, fer the world's sake!"

This was an opportunity to receive power at the price of pain. The pokémon who'd gone before her had touched the light only for a moment or two, and they'd yelped in shock, or pain. But she... She could stand to touch it for longer, right? She didn't know for sure that it would help to do so, but if there was a chance that she'd be stronger for it, she'd tolerate the light for as long as she could. Wasn't she here to help people? There was a world in danger. This was no time to flinch away.

She wanted power; she could bear a little pain.

"I'll fight through anything if it's the right thing to do," she yowled, her declaration sounding at once triumphant and agonised.

 

[Namohysip]

"Do you think that is reason enough to deserve it? Saving the world in exchange for power? What more must you pay to deserve it, Brisa?"

They clashed, blade against claw, and pushed against one another. Fugu narrowly avoided sparks flying along her blade before rushing for another flurry, forcing the words out of her opponent.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

You know what the sacrifice would be.

Brisa growled and kept up her relentless pace, the plasma sustaining her to the point where she felt this could go on all day. Good. Let it.

"Legendary protectors don't get to have a normal life as well," she snapped, the answer invisible to her right up until it jumped from her mouth. "Y'can't eat yer cake an' keep it. I can't have this and keep the bonds I've made..."

She struck out with an especially vicious blow.

"But I won't get t'keep 'em anyway, so what does it fuckin' matter?"

 

[Namohysip]

"Then that is your price," Fugu said, catching an electric ball at the tip of her blade before redirecting it into the wall. She propelled forward on jets of water and went for a powerful thwap with her forelegs. "The finality and nihilism of your time here! But you aren't satisfied still. What more is there, Brisa?" An elbow to her side and then a jet away to gain distance.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Her lightning fists were frenetic, but it didn't matter. The point was to communicate, not to win. Y'could probably win, if y'weren't so fuckin' outta focus.

"If I didn't have a choice, I could bear it," came Brisa's own words, surprising her. "Back when I felt my duty was an unbreakable shackle, I coulda bore it fer ever. Now I gotta contend with havin' to be fuckin' complicit in my own pain?"

She shouted with exertion as she delivered more thundering strikes.

"The chains on my arms're broken! Shattered! I could do whatever the fuck I want but I still ain't happy and I don't fuckin' know why!"

 

[Namohysip]

"Then ask yourself," Fugu said, parrying the blows, "what it is that you truly are looking for. Think back to what made you happy, to give you this want... because power is not what you were looking for. Ascending is not what you were looking for!" A beam of water narrowly missed Brisa's face. "What made you happy today?"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

It was so obvious she felt stupid.

"Fightin' by my friends' side, seein' 'em at their best, exertin' myself to the sound of cheers, my opponent's respect, the closest, grandest battle I ever fought!"

She whirled and spun, using her limbs in ways a luxray never could, but which were familiar in a way she couldn't explain.

"When I left the Colosseum, I felt fuckin' fine," she gasped, between lunges. "Then all evenin' I couldn't get it outta my head. The way Starr looked at me, like it was better that I changed back."

C'mon. Nearly there.

"But I can't keep her! I can't keep Astrid! I can't keep Cibus!"

Brisa's bright intent and dark feeling bubbled up at last to the point that her occasionally gasps for breath just weren't keeping them in check. Her fur sparked with countless motes of radiance and wisps of shadow.

"If I can't have what I'd choose, at least I can have somethin' else I want. 'Cept it hurts too goddamn much to commit to that choice. Goddamnit, gods fuckin' damn it, when am I gonna stop hurtin'??"

The plasma at her fists began to crackle with Blacklight. She needed to release it, right quick.

Not yet.

 

[Namohysip]

Fugu listened and parried and let Brisa talk as much as she liked. She saw the true attacks coming, the ones where Brisa would be at her strongest, and she knew it would be time, soon, to send it all back to her. But there was one last question she could try--a gamble, perhaps--that could very easily pay off. The risk was small, and in fact could open up new venues regardless of how it turned out.

So, Fugu ran ahead and crossed her blade against Brisa's fists.

"And when today were you at peace?!"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Astrid's eyes, sparkling. Starr's laughter. Owen's smile. The taste of greasy, sun-warmed Colosseum stands food. Owen talking passionately about more opponents to come. Starr telling Puff to clear off for five goddamn minutes before asking his questions. Astrid leaning her shoulder against Brisa's own.

She knew.

"I c-can't—"

She just didn't know the words.

Brisa yowled as shadow-empowered tether of radiance spun out from her arms to lash at Fugu.

When I felt loved.

The energy poured from her like water crashing from a ruptured dam. She let it fall, and her tears with it.

Brisa used Blacklight Z-Burst! It's Ultra Effective! [+5, 236bp, UE, Stab, Guts, Loner]

 

[Namohysip]

"Ngh--!"

And for once, Fugu had seen it coming, but she timed it just right. She leapt back and conjured a quick barrier of green, blocking most of the Z-Burst despite it repelling her back and into the wall where even more of that energy frayed out and zapped the walls. Everything was a mixture of black and white, but when the dust settled, a familiar, red glimmer cut through the smoke.

It all went back to Brisa, in order, every word and every emotion that went through.

Fugu stood up and caught her breath. There were a few cuts on her this time.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

I don't fuckin' deserve to bear a hero's mantle when I ain't trained fer decades. I just stumbled into power. I'd spend the years if I could. But I gotta burn out, 'cause the world needs me to, and I'll suffer anythin' if it's what's right.

Legendary protectors can't perform their duty and keep their bonds. But I won't get t'keep 'em anyway, so it hardly fuckin' matters.

When I had nothin' besides my duty, I could've borne it fer ever. Now I'm fuckin' complicit in my own pain. The chains on my arms're gone but I still don't choose to be free of them.

I felt whole, and high, and bright, when I could be myself and have it be good, t'gether with those I care fer. I wondered if I could have power, duty, and love. Then someone I love looked at me like it was better that I stay who I've been. And I would. But I can't keep her. I can't keep anyone. I can't keep my life.

If I can't have love, I can turn to duty. 'Cept it hurts too goddamn much to commit to that pain again. I'm stuck, hurtin', and I don't know how t'fix it.

Brisa had done this more than once. Her own feelings filled her head like empathy for a stranger and, as always, her heart ached for this person, this victim of circumstance, who was yearning and striving so, so desperately. It would hit in a moment. She waited for the emotions to implode.

I just want to be loved.

Oh, gods, it really was that simple, wasn't it? Duty not as a shackle to keep her from love, but as a shelter to turn to. Thunder...

Was she really so simple...?

Don't cry, please, no, no, don't fucking cry.

If there was one piece of permanent progress made in this office, it was that Brisa could, at least, permit herself to feel like shit without having to hold herself together. Here, if nowhere else. She knelt on the floor, Blacklight evaporated, hugging herself with her oversized zeraora paws, weeping quietly.

 

[Namohysip]

Fugu's job was done for the time being, at least while Brisa gathered herself. She let Brisa go at her own pace and stood next to her, becoming someone to lean on. And there, she waited patiently.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Brisa wiped her face dry, and took a shuddering breath, and then another, until she felt steady.

"Yeah."

She blew out a long, low breath.

"Guess I got scared after we split fer the day. Life right now is full of uncertainty, and huge stakes, an' all that. I wasn't ready t'let go of how good it felt t'spend time with 'em."