DeliriousAbsol
*Crazy Absol Noises*
Disclaimer - I do NOT own Pokemon or any of its characters!
Firstly, I wrote this yonks ago, and I've toyed around with the first chapter immensely. What originally started out as a daft story about myself and my friends (and much-loved other fandom characters) being sucked into a PMD universe has evolved into something I wanted to share with other fans. So the main characters and general premise had a huge make-over. The 'other fandom' element has also gone. Although some similarities in a minority of characters may remain. This is the second major edit, where I changed the names of the two main characters to remove the 'self insert' labels from them. This has not been easy, because their personalities are not something I've wanted to change. They bounce off each other like rubber balls with the banter and teasing, and I couldn't change that at all. Hopefully this won't hamper peoples' enjoyment of this silly story.
Despite the major edits, the writing style is a lot less... refined... than my newer style. I've tried to tweak it here and there, but it might be a little clunky. Please forgive me for this. Sometimes, it just adds character to the playful writing style which was never meant to be serious to begin with.
Please note that updates will be sporadic at best. I already have a main non-Pokemon project I am working on, so this is not a high priority story for me. It will basically be a case of 'I'll write it, then I'll post it!' so continuity and plot holes may be a constant! However, in a crack-fic, does that really matter? XD I have another two chapters written already, although the latest one may need some tweaking as it's way too short for my own personal tastes.
If there is interest in submitting your own background/minor OCs or suggesting 'quests' (please note plot takes priority), then I might open a request-thread to go with it. This might need some discussion with other mods, however, so please don't expect anything just yet.
I hope you enjoy the craziness and my poking friendly fun at the franchise. PMD humor (and Pokemon humor in general) abounds!
Rated T for Teen
You must be at least 6 foot tall to read this story. Yes, I accept stilts.
First there was a flash of bright light.
Then the faintest memory of a handheld console making a strange sucking noise.
Then there was the motion sickness.
And then... wetness.
“Argh!” Flailing. “Who on earth put a lake there?!”
“Flynn...” Arms crossed. “It's a puddle.”
Flynn stopped flailing. Then stood up. The ground seemed a lot... closer than normal. Shaking a foot... a bare foot I might add... he stepped out of the puddle and looked down.
“Oh yeh, so it is... wait...” He raised an eyebrowless brow. “Since when was I green?” He looked over at his friend. “Merry! Don't take this the wrong way or anything but... why are you an oshawott?!”
Merry, for the first time since landing on solid ground, looked down at her... paws. “What?” She then ran over to the puddle and looked down to see the white, round face of an oshawott peering back at her. “I'm a pokemon?! Since when did that happen?!”
“You tell me!” Flynn crossed his small arms. “And why am I a snivy?”
Merry pondered this for a moment and smirked. “Kinda suits you actually.”
“You sayin' I'm smug?”
“No...”
“You are, aren't you?”
“I think we have bigger things to be worrying about than if I think you're smug or not.” Merry sighed, patting the scalchop on her stomach anxiously. “I feel very nude.”
“Don't worry, you have fur.” Flynn stuck his nose in the air. “I, however, have no fur. If you ever wondered what a snivy felt like... it's scaly.”
“I imagined they were scaly. They're lizards.”
“Well anyway, I can't say I'm pleased about this.”
“Neither am I. We were only playing a game.” Merry sat down. It was a rather different experience than normal. For one, she had flippers and they were attached to very stubby legs, which made the act of 'sitting down' more of a 'flop onto the backside' and both stubby legs stuck out in front of her, absolutely impossible to cross. "Did we... get sucked into the game?”
“Dunno.” Flynn also sat down, and crossed his legs as if to mock her. “You were showing me the new Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game. You took the test... and then this happened.”
Merry's eyes widened. “Those words... it was going to tell me what Pokemon I was-”
“Yes. I believe it said 'I see... you must be...' then there was a flash-”
“And a sucking noise-”
“Then the motion sickness-”
“And you landed in a puddle.”
“Yes. And got my tail wet.” Flynn reached over to his tail and beat it with his paws. “Stupid puddle.”
“So, I'm an oshawott.” Merry sighed and leant back on her paws. “I suppose there's worse things.”
“Yeh. You could be a snivy.”
“What's your beef with snivy?” Merry crossed her arms and glared at him.
“Well... nothing, but... I mean... couldn't I have been something better? Like... I dunno... something more big and manly. Like...” He spread his arms wide. “A tyranitar?”
Merry blinked. “They're tall.”
“I'm tall.”
“Yeh but...” Merry blinked again, her eyes widening. “They're tall. Like tall tall. So tall they make normal tall things look tiny.”
“Now I'm just picturing a tyranitar on stilts.”
“Ahh!” Merry flailed her arms and fell onto her back.
Flynn leapt to his feet and scurried over to her. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine just... the image startled me.”
“Oh uhm... okay, think about bunearies.”
Merry sat up. “Okay I'm better now. Let's have a look around.”
“S'pose. No point in sitting around here is there?”
“I guess not.”
Flynn helped her up. “Hey! I've just noticed something.”
“What?”
“I have a type advantage to you now. HAH! Beat that! Finally! After all those times you kicked my ass with your team of overpowered monsters, I now have the upper-”
He was cut off as Merry sprayed a water gun in his face. He wiped a paw across his snout, scattering droplets everywhere.
“What was that for?!”
Merry placed her paws on her hips. “Cooling down your hot head.”
“So you spat at me?”
Merry looked thoughtful for a moment. “I guess so, yeh.”
Flynn snorted. “Whatever, let's just go. Wet tail... wet head... what next?”
With that, they shuffled away from the puddle towards what appeared to be a dirt track leading up a not-so-steep hill. It was seemingly deserted, and rather quiet. Even more so as neither of them had much to say, still rather shell-shocked to have had their forms changed so drastically (and in Flynn's case, feeling rather too soggy).
“Oh look!” Merry pointed a paw. “There's a building there!” She clapped her paws together. “Oh what a cute little hut!”
Flynn paused next to her and stared at the building. It was made almost entirely out of soil, leaves and twigs. But one wouldn't think that to look at it, as it was a rather extravagant structure. It rose up from the ground in a form that greatly resembled the head and torso of a giant pikachu, even down to the colour. Wooden steps ran up its front so those who wished to enter did so through a doorway beneath its chin.
“What do you think it is?” Flynn asked. “A museum for the awesomeness that is Pikachu? Erected by Ash Ketchum?”
“It's a bit small for a human building.” Merry scratched her chin. “I think... this may be built by pokemon.”
Flynn's jaw dropped. “You're telling me pokemon have architectural skills?”
“Apparently so.”
“And they can talk and everything?” Flynn asked.
“Well, yes. Let's face it, you don't sound to me like your speaking anything that could pass off as remotely Snivish.”
“Snivish?”
“Yes. Do I sound... Oshish to you?” Merry looked at him.
Flynn gave her a blank stare, cocked his head on one side and fought the urge to burst into fits of laughter. “Osh... Oshish?”
“Sorry, do I amuse you?”
Flynn let a snort of laughter escape his pointed nose before bringing it back under control.
Merry sighed and turned to walk away. She waved her arm at him. “Go on, laugh if you must.”
Flynn fell to the floor in fits of giggles, gasping out the word 'Oshish' between breaths.
“When you're quite done,” Merry called over her shoulder, “I'll be waiting at the gate.”
“I'm done.” Flynn appeared next to her. “Wait, I don't see a gate.”
“The gate at the top of the stairs.” Merry waddled onto the first wooden step.
“Wait!” Flynn grabbed her shoulder. “You're going inside that thing?”
Merry looked back at him. “Well of course. Where else are we going to go?”
“I dunno, but freakish English speaking pokemon that build giant pikachu shaped buildings just isn't settling very well with me!”
“Flynn. Look at me.”
Flynn looked at her.
“What am I?”
“An oshawott...”
“And what are you?”
“A snivy...”
“Therefore we are...?”
“Pokemon?”
“Exactly. So if freakish English speaking pokemon did build this giant pikachu shaped building we have no better disguise than what we have now.”
Merry turned to move up the stairs, but was stopped as a green clawed hand grabbed her shoulder once more.
“Merry, wait!”
She looked back. “What now?”
“What if it's not freakish English speaking pokemon with architectural skills but instead... evil wicked humans who wouldn't bat an eyelid at making us their entertainment-duo-slash-talking-pokemon-slaves?”
Merry gave him an exasperated stare. “Flynn... your imagination is working in overtime again isn't it?”
“No. I'm thinking logically. I might be a snivy, but I'm a very scared snivy. I'm supposed to be a human. I don't even know how to get my vine whip out – oh wait, there it goes.”
Two long vines came out of the leaves on Flynn's neck.
“Well done. Put them back in, we don't want to scare whoever is on the other side of that door.”
“I don't know how! How?!”
“Why are you asking me? I'm not a grass type!”
Flynn looked desperate, grabbing the vines in his paws and trying to shove them back into his neck.
“Fine,” Merry sighed. “Can you suck them back in?”
Flynn made a sucking noise as he puckered his lips.
Nothing happened.
“Nope,” he said flatly. Then he panicked again grabbing at the vines which seemed reluctant to obey.
Merry placed her head in her paws. “You're hopeless. Try... try talking to them?”
Flynn stopped what he was doing (which wasn't much as now the vines were tied around his paws, tail and head) and looked at her. “Talk to my vines? Are you kidding me?!”
Merry threw her arms in the air. “I'm out of options!”
“Is there a problem?”
The voice came from behind Merry, causing her and Flynn to freeze and look over at the speaker.
A lone pokemon – a teddiursa to be exact – was stood in the doorway sucking on her paw.
“Hi there,” said the duo.
The teddiursa blinked slowly as she took in the scene. “Hi. Are you wanting to come in?”
“Possibly.” Merry looked from the teddiursa to Flynn and back. “But my friend is in a bit of a pickle.”
“It looks more like he’s wrapped in his vines to me,” said the teddiursa. “I was on door duty and heard you yelling. My name is Peg.”
Merry and Flynn exchanged confused glances then looked back at Peg.
“So, erm… my name is… this is… argh…” Flynn stopped and tugged at his vines. “Oh sheesh I'm stuck.”
“You don't seem to know what you're doing,” Peg told him as she descended the stairs towards them. “Would you like a helping paw?”
“Please,” Flynn said, giving up. “I'm in a bit of a tangle.”
“You know what?” said Merry, pointing at Flynn haughtily. “This is because you laughed at me earlier.”
Flynn gave her a blank stare. “You're going to laugh at me aren't you.”
“I'm thinking about it.”
A painful untangling session later...
Flynn sat rubbing the leaves on his neck, looking rather relieved.
“Well, I'm glad that's over,” he said, looking over at Peg. “Thanks.”
“Don't mention it.” The teddiursa sucked noisily on her paw as she stared at the two pokemon. “What did you say your names are?”
“We didn't get around to it,” said Merry. She stuck out a paw. “I'm Merry. And this clueless buffoon here is Flynn.”
Peg stared at her paw as though she was expecting something to be in it, then looked up at Merry. Merry withdrew her paw and hid it behind her back, filing a mental note about pokemon and handshakes away under 'possibly not'.
“So what is this place?” she asked the teddiursa, looking up at the tall pikachu shaped building.
“This is Pika's Place,” said Peg. “Haven't you heard of it?”
“No, we're...” Merry paused, “not from around here.”
“Oh?” Peg looked from Merry to Flynn and back again. “Pika's Place is known far and wide. Where are you from?”
“Far away,” Flynn explained. “Like so far away you probably haven't heard of it.”
Peg sucked her paw a few more times before lowering it slightly and saying, “Okay.”
Merry and Flynn exchanged glances and silent sighs of relief.
“Well, let me take you inside.” Peg stood up and led them up the wooden stairs.
Merry and Flynn followed after her, Merry much more hesitant this time. It could be assumed that the appearance of another talking pokemon had made her feel somewhat uneasy – or it could be the uncanny resemblance to a friend in their own world.
Whatever the reason, inside Pika's Place caused Flynn to let out a long, impressed whistle. “Swank!” he exclaimed.
“Excuse me?” Peg looked back over her shoulder.
“Erm...” Flynn shuffled his feet. “I'm impressed?”
Peg stared at him for a moment, causing him to visibly shrink away, then turned back to where she was going, leading them down a long corridor lined with thick luxurious leaves and trimmed along the tops of the walls with ornamental berries.
“You have to agree,” Flynn whispered to Merry, “It does look very-”
“Don't say 'swank',” Merry growled, flashing her canines. “It sounds rude.”
Flynn blinked. “Does it?”
Peg stopped at a door mid way down the corridor and opened it. “This way.”
The two pokemon followed after her cautiously. Inside the room almost took their breath away. It was filled with various pokemon either playing some kind of chess-like board game on the floor, nattering over cups filled with assorted berry juices or looking over what appeared to be fliers.
Peg cut through them, leading Merry and Flynn to a door on the other side of the room where she stopped abruptly and knocked twice.
“Who's there?” said Flynn.
Peg looked at him.
Flynn shrank back behind Merry.
A male voice came from the other side of the door.
“Enter.”
Peg opened the door and took one step inside.
“You have visitors.”
“Really?” The voice sounded a little more excited this time. “Well bring them! Bring them in!”
Peg smiled at Merry and Flynn and ushered them inside.
The duo were less than keen however and edged inside as slowly as they could. The door closed behind them, the teddiursa deciding to leave them alone with whoever was in the small room. The walls were filled with book shelves lined with various manuscripts, and sat in a black leatherette chair at a small desk was a pikachu with his back to them. He span round in his chair and opened his arms wide with a grin.
“Hello!”
Flynn screamed.
Merry jumped then cuffed Flynn over the head. “You startled me!”
Flynn gave her the 'wounded puppy' look. “Sorry...”
“It's my fault,” said the pikachu. “I was a little enthusiastic. We've not had visitors in a while.” He stood up and approached them. They eyed him up and down, taking in the fact he was wearing a black waistcoat finished off with a little blue tie around his neck. “The name's Pika, and this, as you have probably guessed, is my place. Hence Pika's Place. Get it?”
“Genius,” said Flynn sarcastically.
Pika seemed to not get his use of sarcasm as he beamed. “Well, welcome! What brings you here?”
“We're lost, actually,” Merry explained.
“Really? Where are you from?”
“Far away,” she said before Flynn could interject. “We came here hoping you could help us. It was the first building we saw, if I'm honest.”
“Well, any Pokemon lost or otherwise is very welcome here. You see, we send out rescue teams to help pokemon like you. Lost, wounded in battle, affected by the crimes of those more hostile, whatever the cause we help them! Does that sound like something you might like?”
Flynn blinked. “You sound like a salesman.”
“Oh...” Pika blushed, a small bead of sweat forming on his left ear. “I'm terribly sorry. I'm promoting my little business! I'm trying to recruit members, and I've not even asked your names! You might even be completely unqualified!” He scratched the back of his head and giggled. “I guess I got carried away.”
Flynn leant over to Merry and whispered, “I think this guy might be a little bit mad.”
Merry nodded and whispered back, “I couldn't agree more.”
“What do we do?” Flynn asked.
“What else can we do? Just follow my lead. I've played these games.” Merry straightened up and smiled at Pika. “I'm Merry, and this is Flynn.”
Flynn stood to attention. “Yes, I am Flynn.”
“Well Merry, Flynn.” Pika sat back in his chair. “Let me tell you a bit about what we do here. Like I said, we send out groups to help those who may need help. We get adverts from other pokemon asking us to help their friends or relatives. As such, our teams have to be good at solving these problems or we don't get our rewards, you see. So good combat skills are necessary, bravery, positive attitude, a preferable knowledge of the area but that's not necessary so long as you have good survival skills.” He looked at them each in turn and spread his paws. “Do you have rescue team experience?”
Flynn looked over at Merry, giving her a look that said if she didn’t answer this question carefully he’d definitely have something to say about it.
“Uhm... yes...” Merry nodded. “We... we are a rescue team.”
“Really?” Pika asked, drowning out Flynn's equally confused remark.
“Yes.” Merry looked over at her friend. “Right Flynn?”
Flynn shuffled his feet as he stifled a groan, then looked over at Pika. “Y-yes.”
Pika spread his paws slightly. “What is your rescue team's name?”
“Uhm...” Merry shrugged. “The Explorers of...”
“Of...?”
“Of...” Flynn looked up. “Stuff!”
Pika raised a yellow eyebrow. “The Explorers of Stuff?”
“Yes,” Merry nodded. “And Things.” She tried to look proud. “The Explorers of Stuff and Things.”
An awkward silence passed between the occupants of the small room.
“The title's a work-in-progress,” said Flynn.
Pika beamed. “Okay. Well then, if you are happy to join then you can.”
“Really?” Merry and Flynn said simultaneously.
“Of course!” Pika stood up and gestured to the door. “Well... shall I show you around?”
Pika opened the door and immediately a large group of pokemon abandoned their eavesdropping and acted nonchalant. Pika didn't seem to notice this, however, and led Merry and Flynn though the large crowd of pokemon and out into the hallway.
“Merry?” Flynn whispered.
“Yes?”
“I’m beginning to question your sanity.”
“Do you want out of this game or not?” she asked.
Flynn didn’t get the chance to answer as Pika began a monologue akin to a realtor desperate to sell a house to the first keen (or not) buyer.
“As you can see there are three doors here, each leading to a different room.” The pikachu pointed to each door in turn. “The dining room, the meeting room and the room we just came from.”
“What room is that?” Flynn asked.
“The relaxing room.”
Flynn looked over at Merry. “Did you see a massage table in there?”
Merry shook her head.
Pika moved on through the hallway, waffling on to himself, and Merry and Flynn took a moment to look around before following him.
“Hey. What's that?” Flynn pointed back the way they'd come at a little wooden square squatting inside the wall.
“That,” Pika said, following his claw, “is the elevator.”
“You have an elevator?” Merry and Flynn gasped.
“Yes. It provides easy access to the medical ward.”
Flynn's jaw dropped and he looked at his friend. “Medical ward? Medical ward? You never told me this game was dangerous!”
Merry stared at Flynn aghast then looked back at the pikachu. He had already wandered on, wittering away, seemingly oblivious to whether or not they were following him.
“Be careful,” she told the snivy. “We don't want to seem suspicious.”
“No, no.” Flynn crossed his arms and looked up and down the hallway. “We don't want to seem suspicious.”
“Flynn, calm down.” Merry waddled a paw at him. “You're a pokemon. You're in a rescue team. Act like it.”
“You're taking this oddly well.” Flynn moved on down the corridor and Merry was forced to follow him.
“Taking it well? I just got shape-shifted! I'm as scared as you are! Even – Argh!”
Pika had led them into the dining room and standing in the middle of it was a stocky, tall tyranitar setting the table with a pink, lace tablecloth.
“Well, hello there Pika!” he boomed. “You've bought some new friends along I see!”
“Yes!” Pika beamed from ear to ear. “These two here are Merry and Flynn. Together they form The Explorers of Stuff and Things!” He turned back to Merry and Flynn and waved towards the tyranitar. “Meet Rexi.”
“Oh how wonderful!” Rexi abandoned his table-setting to stride over to the two pokemon, which didn't take him much time considering his size.
Merry's jaw dropped and a low whine escaped her mouth. Flynn clasped a paw over her mouth and smiled at the tyranitar.
“So... you're a chef?” He eyed the giant Pokemon's floral apron.
“That I am!” Rexi beamed.
Pika gave a nod of approval. “Best chef in Pika's Place! You should try his berry soufflé!”
Rexi's expression became one of concern as he looked down at Merry. “Is your friend all right?”
“She's fine!” said Flynn. “She's just a little – yeow!”
Merry's oshawott canines bit into Flynn's soft, green paw and he yanked it back from her mouth.
“T – T – Tyranitar!” Merry exclaimed.
“What?! Where?!” Rexi's eyes widened and he looked frantically around the dining room. In one swift motion he dived over the heads of the three Pokemon – causing a yell from Merry – to cower behind Flynn.
Flynn looked back at him, then at Pika, his eyes searching for an explanation.
“Don't worry!” Pika laughed. “There are no tyranitar here, Rexi!” He looked from Merry to Flynn. “Rexi is... a little afraid of tyranitar.”
“But...” Merry anxiously eyed the large rock Pokemon then looked back at Pika. “But he's-”
“An oshawott.” Pika nodded. “Exactly!” He then gave the two pokemon a look that said he knew full well that Rexi was indeed a tyranitar and that such matters needed no discussion at that present moment.
“Oh. Erm.” Merry cleared her throat then looked back at the cowering Rexi. “Maybe I was imagining things.”
“Oh! Well!” Rexi stood up, towering over the three smaller Pokemon. “I do that all the time!” He laughed heartily and strode over them to the dining table. “I think I had better get things finished in here, or hungry tummies will be complaining their meals are late again!”
“Very well!” Pika waved a paw. “I shall finish showing our new friends around!”
“Yes! It was lovely meeting you!” Rexi grinned, flashing two rows of sharp teeth, causing Merry to gulp.
“You too!” Flynn and Merry replied, the latter somewhat nervously, as they followed Pika from the dining room.
Once the door was closed, Pika looked at each of them in turn and led them towards a flight of winding stairs.
“Just to clarify,” Pika began, “Rexi has no idea he's a tyranitar.”
“You're kidding.” Flynn frowned. “Has he never looked in a mirror?” At Pika's blank expression, he added, “Or a puddle?”
“Apparently not,” said Pika. “We don't keep puddles in Pika's Place. He was raised by oshawott, and that is the life he knows.”
“And his fear?” Merry asked.
“His family was unfortunately killed by a tyranitar.”
Merry paled and Flynn had to give her a nudge to prompt her to climb the stairs.
“Don't fret,” Pika told Merry. “He's one of the nicest pokemon I've had the pleasure of meeting! I'm sure you'll be fine friends in no time.”
The staircase ended in an intricate tunnel that forked off into many little rooms.
“This is our sleeping quarters,” said Pika. “The females go this way,” he nodded to the tunnel at their right. “And the males go that way.” He nodded to the left. He turned to address Merry. “If you follow this tunnel round, your nest room will be the fifth one on your right.”
“Okay. I'll give it a shot.” Merry waddled to the tunnel's entrance.
Pika then turned to Flynn. “As for you, I can show you the way! Follow me.”
Merry waddled down the narrow tunnel, making a mental note that it forked off in many directions, leading to yet more nest rooms. Hers was easy to find however and after exploring a little she backtracked to the given room.
Inside were three piles of hay. One of them was up against a window. The other two were pressed up against the left wall, one of which was currently occupied by an eevee, her nose buried in a book.
“H... hello?” Merry ventured.
The eevee blinked and looked up at her. “Hello?”
“I'm Merry. I've been told by Pika that I'm meant to be staying in here?”
“Hmm.” The eevee crinkled her nose as she took this in. “You'll want the nest behind mine then. The one by the window belongs to Peg.”
“Peg?” Merry looked at the nest as if she expected the teddiursa to jump out of it in a flurry of stars and confetti.
“Yes. She's a teddiursa.” The eevee glanced back down at her book then up at Merry again. “I'm Kiki, by the way. You are?”
“Merry.” The oshawott glanced around the room then realisation washed over her as she finally placed the eevee's voice. Her sister... how had she missed that? She looked back round at the eevee sharply. “You said your name's Kiki?”
“Mhmm.” The eevee was currently lost back in her book and she frowned at the effort to detach herself from the imaginary world within. “Weren't you listening?”
Merry tapped her scalchop and glanced around the room again. This was big. What on earth was her sister doing in the game? She had to find Flynn and tell him.
“Excuse me, I have to look for my friend.” She turned to leave the room.
“It will be dinner soon.” Kiki closed her book then leapt from her nest and padded to the doorway. “I can take you back to the dining room if you want to follow me? Your friend will likely be there soon anyway.”
“Weren't you reading?” Merry followed the eevee.
“I was. But it's hard to read with someone talking to you. Plus there's no point in getting lost in a good book mere minutes before eating. Come on, follow Kiki. Have you been to the dining room yet?” The eevee looked back at her.
“Yes.” Merry shuddered at the memory.
“Fantastic berry soup!” Kiki grinned. “I can't wait! Peg is probably there already.”
Pika left Flynn at his room with instructions to have a quick look then join them for dinner. After he'd left, Flynn took one look around the nest room, made note of three nests and turned to leave... almost walking smack into an absol.
The absol blinked. “Excuse me.” His voice sounded somewhat bored, as if seeing a strange snivy in his room was nothing more than a minor inconvenience. “I need to grab my bag.”
“A thousand pardons.” Flynn stepped aside and watched as the absol picked up a bag from a nest by the far left wall, pulled a large lollypop out of it and sucked it noisily as he walked back to the door.
He looked down at Flynn's confused expression and spoke around the large rainbow candy.
“Appetiser.”
He then marched from the room and Flynn was left to stand mouth agape as he watched the absol vanish down the tunnel.
Merry followed after the speedy eevee as she spoke at a mile a minute about her books and Pika's Place, the two subjects often merging together. Merry found herself wondering if it was her difficulty in keeping up or if Kiki often confused literature and reality (which isn't something her sister generally did.)
The sound of stampeding feet made Merry look round at the adjoining tunnel and a blur of green crashed into her, sending her rolling backwards the way she'd come.
“Flynn?” she gasped. “What on earth?!”
“Hmm?” Kiki turned around and inclined her head on one side. “You should watch where you're going.”
Flynn scrambled to his feet and rubbed his nose.
“Oh no!” He looked down at Merry. “Does my nose look more bent to you?” He went cross-eyed and pawed gingerly at his face.
Merry stood up and stared at him. “No. What's wrong?”
“Listen!” He moved in closer to her and cupped a paw over his mouth. “I'm sharing a room with an absol that eats candy!”
Merry blinked. “What?”
“Candy! I'm sharing a room with him! He grabbed a lollipop and then he left!”
Merry blinked again. “Pokemon have lollipops?”
“You're missing the point!”
“A pokemon that eats lollipops?” Kiki sat down beside them and looked from Flynn to Merry and back. “I think I know who you mean. You mean Lance, right?” She looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling. “He has a bottomless pit of candy in that bag. Kinda like a pokemon nanny I know. Or read about. Was it a book?”
Flynn stared at her for a moment, then pointed dramatically and went, “Ah!”
Merry nudged him as Kiki stared at Flynn's claw then down at herself. Flynn grasped the point quickly and clamped his jaw shut so tight he practically trembled.
“What's wrong?” asked Kiki. “Did I do something to surprise you?”
“No, I...” Flynn scratched his head. “I was just wondering what looked so good about you then saw the bow on your tail.”
“Oh!” Kiki grinned and flicked her long, bushy tail. There was indeed a bright pink bow on it. “Thank you! I made it myself!” She stood and turned away from them. “Now. To dinner!”
Merry watched the eevee skip away then rounded on Flynn.
“Did you just hit on my sister?!”
Flynn blinked. “Apparently. I didn't mean it. I was trying to cover up my booboo.”
Merry crossed her paws. “Well... don't.” She paused. “So... What’s your beef with this absol?”
“He’s freaky, all right! Came in, all bored voice and munching candy. Like some kind of evil genius, I tell you.”
“Hmm.” Merry narrowed her eyes. “That poor absol.”
“That's what you're thinking?!”
Merry shrugged. “It’s stereotyping, Flynn. Absol, snivy… who else is gonna get the brunt of your prejudice, Bent-Nose?”
Flynn covered his nose with his paws. “You said it wasn't bent!”
Stare.
“Look, it was the sweets, okay!” said Flynn. “Not the absol himself. The sweets! In what demented universe do pokemon eat sweets?”
“Poffins.”
He blinked at her. “I beg your pardon?”
“Poffins,” Merry repeated. “They’re a sweet from Sinnoh. Pokemon love them.”
“Oh.” Flynn nodded and slumped against the wall. “Fine. I’ll try to make my peace with sharing with an absol.” He jabbed a claw at her. “But this is rather hypocritical given your reaction to Rexi!”
“It was a deep rooted primal fear! Like hamsters being scared of being snatched from above!”
“And my wariness of this absol is not?”
“Absol-lutely not!”
“... That was terrible.”
“I know... I’m sorry. I’ll try to reign in the poke-puns.”
“Anyway.” Flynn leant against the wall and crossed his arms. “Absol aside, if we've met your sister, do you think anyone else might have got dragged into this crazy-ass world?”
Merry tapped her chin with a claw and looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t know. Perhaps? But that’s not to say we know them all, is it? Kiki might just be a coincidence.”
“Possibly.” Flynn glanced at her. “I mean Peg has a human-sounding name, right? Maybe she’s from our world, too?”
“I did wonder that.” Merry shrugged. “Another hapless player sucked into the void that is PMD.”
“Maybe we know her?” Flynn's stomach growled loudly, slicing through the somberness. “Huh. I think I might be hungry.”
“Me too. Let's stop worrying over this for now and follow Kiki.”
They moved on in the direction Kiki had gone, back down the stairs to the dining hall. The door was closed and on further inspection sported a colourful sign that said 'sorry, closed.' The relaxing room wasn't too far away so they decided to go back there.
Merry opened the door, then immediately closed it again.
Flynn cleared his throat and nodded at it. “We're still on this side of the door.”
“I know.” Merry pressed her back up against it and fixed wide eyes on her friend. “I don't like it. Everyone was staring at me.”
Flynn shrugged. “Well we are new.”
Merry grimaced and looked down at her flippers. “I feel exposed.”
“Well, I want to mingle. We have to blend in.” Flynn paused and ran a paw over his head. “I hate to be the voice of reason, Merry, but we are pokemon. We need to mix with other pokemon and act like it.”
Merry let out a sigh. “That’s a different tone to your previous worries.”
“That’s because you’ve regressed from your previous ‘act of genius’.”
She narrowed her eyes at the snivy. “Were the air quotes really necessary?”
“Yes.”
She let out a defeated sigh and turned back to the door. “Fine.”
The door swung inward and the two of them stepped inside.
Staaaaaaaare.
Merry started to shake.
Flynn pushed her ahead of him and closed the door behind them.
“Hey!” Kiki waved from a corner beside Peg. “Over here!”
Feeling much more relaxed at the sight of a friendly face (and wagging tail), Merry and Flynn strutted over to the eevee and teddiursa.
“So!” Kiki smiled at them. “New pokemon! How exciting!” She nodded to Flynn and turned to Peg. “He's sharing with Lance.”
“Really?” Peg sucked her paw and looked up at Flynn. “What a combination.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Flynn grunted.
“You're also sharing with Showa.”
“Showa?” Merry raised an eyebrow.
“He's a zorua,” Kiki explained. “A bit of a flirtatious, eccentric individual who likes to get into trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” Flynn asked, eyes widening.
“Pranks.” Peg shrugged. “The pair of them are like chalk and cheese. I don’t know why Lance sticks around with him, if I’m honest.”
Kiki nodded and scrutinized Flynn closely. “Hmm. Your nose does look a little crooked.”
Flynn threw his paws into the air. “Oh for the love of...”
“I was joking!” Kiki laughed and shook her head. “Well, this is going to make for an interesting arrangement!”
“Indeed.” Peg sucked her paw again. “Showa also has a habit of taking on missions much too advanced for himself.”
“Yes.” Kiki nodded and fixed Flynn with a pair of serious brown eyes. “Don't get pulled in.”
“Oh great.” Flynn slumped. “So I'm sharing a room with a dangerous, deadly duo?”
“At least they don't go around stealing pokemon.” Merry said with a nod.
Flynn gave her a blank stare.
“Oh come on,” she laughed. “That was gold!”
“I don't get it,” said Kiki.
Peg shook her head slowly and Flynn copied her.
“Terrible,” he said. “Just terrible.”
“Anyway, it's dinner time soon,” said Kiki. “I don’t know about you two, but I’m starving!”
A bell rang right above their heads, causing Merry and Flynn to let out startled yells and leap a little.
“There it is!” Peg lowered her paw from her mouth and smiled. “Time for berries.”
Firstly, I wrote this yonks ago, and I've toyed around with the first chapter immensely. What originally started out as a daft story about myself and my friends (and much-loved other fandom characters) being sucked into a PMD universe has evolved into something I wanted to share with other fans. So the main characters and general premise had a huge make-over. The 'other fandom' element has also gone. Although some similarities in a minority of characters may remain. This is the second major edit, where I changed the names of the two main characters to remove the 'self insert' labels from them. This has not been easy, because their personalities are not something I've wanted to change. They bounce off each other like rubber balls with the banter and teasing, and I couldn't change that at all. Hopefully this won't hamper peoples' enjoyment of this silly story.
Despite the major edits, the writing style is a lot less... refined... than my newer style. I've tried to tweak it here and there, but it might be a little clunky. Please forgive me for this. Sometimes, it just adds character to the playful writing style which was never meant to be serious to begin with.
Please note that updates will be sporadic at best. I already have a main non-Pokemon project I am working on, so this is not a high priority story for me. It will basically be a case of 'I'll write it, then I'll post it!' so continuity and plot holes may be a constant! However, in a crack-fic, does that really matter? XD I have another two chapters written already, although the latest one may need some tweaking as it's way too short for my own personal tastes.
If there is interest in submitting your own background/minor OCs or suggesting 'quests' (please note plot takes priority), then I might open a request-thread to go with it. This might need some discussion with other mods, however, so please don't expect anything just yet.
I hope you enjoy the craziness and my poking friendly fun at the franchise. PMD humor (and Pokemon humor in general) abounds!
Rated T for Teen
You must be at least 6 foot tall to read this story. Yes, I accept stilts.
What? I'm a Pokemon!?
Chapter One - It Starts
Chapter One - It Starts
First there was a flash of bright light.
Then the faintest memory of a handheld console making a strange sucking noise.
Then there was the motion sickness.
And then... wetness.
“Argh!” Flailing. “Who on earth put a lake there?!”
“Flynn...” Arms crossed. “It's a puddle.”
Flynn stopped flailing. Then stood up. The ground seemed a lot... closer than normal. Shaking a foot... a bare foot I might add... he stepped out of the puddle and looked down.
“Oh yeh, so it is... wait...” He raised an eyebrowless brow. “Since when was I green?” He looked over at his friend. “Merry! Don't take this the wrong way or anything but... why are you an oshawott?!”
Merry, for the first time since landing on solid ground, looked down at her... paws. “What?” She then ran over to the puddle and looked down to see the white, round face of an oshawott peering back at her. “I'm a pokemon?! Since when did that happen?!”
“You tell me!” Flynn crossed his small arms. “And why am I a snivy?”
Merry pondered this for a moment and smirked. “Kinda suits you actually.”
“You sayin' I'm smug?”
“No...”
“You are, aren't you?”
“I think we have bigger things to be worrying about than if I think you're smug or not.” Merry sighed, patting the scalchop on her stomach anxiously. “I feel very nude.”
“Don't worry, you have fur.” Flynn stuck his nose in the air. “I, however, have no fur. If you ever wondered what a snivy felt like... it's scaly.”
“I imagined they were scaly. They're lizards.”
“Well anyway, I can't say I'm pleased about this.”
“Neither am I. We were only playing a game.” Merry sat down. It was a rather different experience than normal. For one, she had flippers and they were attached to very stubby legs, which made the act of 'sitting down' more of a 'flop onto the backside' and both stubby legs stuck out in front of her, absolutely impossible to cross. "Did we... get sucked into the game?”
“Dunno.” Flynn also sat down, and crossed his legs as if to mock her. “You were showing me the new Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game. You took the test... and then this happened.”
Merry's eyes widened. “Those words... it was going to tell me what Pokemon I was-”
“Yes. I believe it said 'I see... you must be...' then there was a flash-”
“And a sucking noise-”
“Then the motion sickness-”
“And you landed in a puddle.”
“Yes. And got my tail wet.” Flynn reached over to his tail and beat it with his paws. “Stupid puddle.”
“So, I'm an oshawott.” Merry sighed and leant back on her paws. “I suppose there's worse things.”
“Yeh. You could be a snivy.”
“What's your beef with snivy?” Merry crossed her arms and glared at him.
“Well... nothing, but... I mean... couldn't I have been something better? Like... I dunno... something more big and manly. Like...” He spread his arms wide. “A tyranitar?”
Merry blinked. “They're tall.”
“I'm tall.”
“Yeh but...” Merry blinked again, her eyes widening. “They're tall. Like tall tall. So tall they make normal tall things look tiny.”
“Now I'm just picturing a tyranitar on stilts.”
“Ahh!” Merry flailed her arms and fell onto her back.
Flynn leapt to his feet and scurried over to her. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine just... the image startled me.”
“Oh uhm... okay, think about bunearies.”
Merry sat up. “Okay I'm better now. Let's have a look around.”
“S'pose. No point in sitting around here is there?”
“I guess not.”
Flynn helped her up. “Hey! I've just noticed something.”
“What?”
“I have a type advantage to you now. HAH! Beat that! Finally! After all those times you kicked my ass with your team of overpowered monsters, I now have the upper-”
He was cut off as Merry sprayed a water gun in his face. He wiped a paw across his snout, scattering droplets everywhere.
“What was that for?!”
Merry placed her paws on her hips. “Cooling down your hot head.”
“So you spat at me?”
Merry looked thoughtful for a moment. “I guess so, yeh.”
Flynn snorted. “Whatever, let's just go. Wet tail... wet head... what next?”
With that, they shuffled away from the puddle towards what appeared to be a dirt track leading up a not-so-steep hill. It was seemingly deserted, and rather quiet. Even more so as neither of them had much to say, still rather shell-shocked to have had their forms changed so drastically (and in Flynn's case, feeling rather too soggy).
“Oh look!” Merry pointed a paw. “There's a building there!” She clapped her paws together. “Oh what a cute little hut!”
Flynn paused next to her and stared at the building. It was made almost entirely out of soil, leaves and twigs. But one wouldn't think that to look at it, as it was a rather extravagant structure. It rose up from the ground in a form that greatly resembled the head and torso of a giant pikachu, even down to the colour. Wooden steps ran up its front so those who wished to enter did so through a doorway beneath its chin.
“What do you think it is?” Flynn asked. “A museum for the awesomeness that is Pikachu? Erected by Ash Ketchum?”
“It's a bit small for a human building.” Merry scratched her chin. “I think... this may be built by pokemon.”
Flynn's jaw dropped. “You're telling me pokemon have architectural skills?”
“Apparently so.”
“And they can talk and everything?” Flynn asked.
“Well, yes. Let's face it, you don't sound to me like your speaking anything that could pass off as remotely Snivish.”
“Snivish?”
“Yes. Do I sound... Oshish to you?” Merry looked at him.
Flynn gave her a blank stare, cocked his head on one side and fought the urge to burst into fits of laughter. “Osh... Oshish?”
“Sorry, do I amuse you?”
Flynn let a snort of laughter escape his pointed nose before bringing it back under control.
Merry sighed and turned to walk away. She waved her arm at him. “Go on, laugh if you must.”
Flynn fell to the floor in fits of giggles, gasping out the word 'Oshish' between breaths.
“When you're quite done,” Merry called over her shoulder, “I'll be waiting at the gate.”
“I'm done.” Flynn appeared next to her. “Wait, I don't see a gate.”
“The gate at the top of the stairs.” Merry waddled onto the first wooden step.
“Wait!” Flynn grabbed her shoulder. “You're going inside that thing?”
Merry looked back at him. “Well of course. Where else are we going to go?”
“I dunno, but freakish English speaking pokemon that build giant pikachu shaped buildings just isn't settling very well with me!”
“Flynn. Look at me.”
Flynn looked at her.
“What am I?”
“An oshawott...”
“And what are you?”
“A snivy...”
“Therefore we are...?”
“Pokemon?”
“Exactly. So if freakish English speaking pokemon did build this giant pikachu shaped building we have no better disguise than what we have now.”
Merry turned to move up the stairs, but was stopped as a green clawed hand grabbed her shoulder once more.
“Merry, wait!”
She looked back. “What now?”
“What if it's not freakish English speaking pokemon with architectural skills but instead... evil wicked humans who wouldn't bat an eyelid at making us their entertainment-duo-slash-talking-pokemon-slaves?”
Merry gave him an exasperated stare. “Flynn... your imagination is working in overtime again isn't it?”
“No. I'm thinking logically. I might be a snivy, but I'm a very scared snivy. I'm supposed to be a human. I don't even know how to get my vine whip out – oh wait, there it goes.”
Two long vines came out of the leaves on Flynn's neck.
“Well done. Put them back in, we don't want to scare whoever is on the other side of that door.”
“I don't know how! How?!”
“Why are you asking me? I'm not a grass type!”
Flynn looked desperate, grabbing the vines in his paws and trying to shove them back into his neck.
“Fine,” Merry sighed. “Can you suck them back in?”
Flynn made a sucking noise as he puckered his lips.
Nothing happened.
“Nope,” he said flatly. Then he panicked again grabbing at the vines which seemed reluctant to obey.
Merry placed her head in her paws. “You're hopeless. Try... try talking to them?”
Flynn stopped what he was doing (which wasn't much as now the vines were tied around his paws, tail and head) and looked at her. “Talk to my vines? Are you kidding me?!”
Merry threw her arms in the air. “I'm out of options!”
“Is there a problem?”
The voice came from behind Merry, causing her and Flynn to freeze and look over at the speaker.
A lone pokemon – a teddiursa to be exact – was stood in the doorway sucking on her paw.
“Hi there,” said the duo.
The teddiursa blinked slowly as she took in the scene. “Hi. Are you wanting to come in?”
“Possibly.” Merry looked from the teddiursa to Flynn and back. “But my friend is in a bit of a pickle.”
“It looks more like he’s wrapped in his vines to me,” said the teddiursa. “I was on door duty and heard you yelling. My name is Peg.”
Merry and Flynn exchanged confused glances then looked back at Peg.
“So, erm… my name is… this is… argh…” Flynn stopped and tugged at his vines. “Oh sheesh I'm stuck.”
“You don't seem to know what you're doing,” Peg told him as she descended the stairs towards them. “Would you like a helping paw?”
“Please,” Flynn said, giving up. “I'm in a bit of a tangle.”
“You know what?” said Merry, pointing at Flynn haughtily. “This is because you laughed at me earlier.”
Flynn gave her a blank stare. “You're going to laugh at me aren't you.”
“I'm thinking about it.”
A painful untangling session later...
Flynn sat rubbing the leaves on his neck, looking rather relieved.
“Well, I'm glad that's over,” he said, looking over at Peg. “Thanks.”
“Don't mention it.” The teddiursa sucked noisily on her paw as she stared at the two pokemon. “What did you say your names are?”
“We didn't get around to it,” said Merry. She stuck out a paw. “I'm Merry. And this clueless buffoon here is Flynn.”
Peg stared at her paw as though she was expecting something to be in it, then looked up at Merry. Merry withdrew her paw and hid it behind her back, filing a mental note about pokemon and handshakes away under 'possibly not'.
“So what is this place?” she asked the teddiursa, looking up at the tall pikachu shaped building.
“This is Pika's Place,” said Peg. “Haven't you heard of it?”
“No, we're...” Merry paused, “not from around here.”
“Oh?” Peg looked from Merry to Flynn and back again. “Pika's Place is known far and wide. Where are you from?”
“Far away,” Flynn explained. “Like so far away you probably haven't heard of it.”
Peg sucked her paw a few more times before lowering it slightly and saying, “Okay.”
Merry and Flynn exchanged glances and silent sighs of relief.
“Well, let me take you inside.” Peg stood up and led them up the wooden stairs.
Merry and Flynn followed after her, Merry much more hesitant this time. It could be assumed that the appearance of another talking pokemon had made her feel somewhat uneasy – or it could be the uncanny resemblance to a friend in their own world.
Whatever the reason, inside Pika's Place caused Flynn to let out a long, impressed whistle. “Swank!” he exclaimed.
“Excuse me?” Peg looked back over her shoulder.
“Erm...” Flynn shuffled his feet. “I'm impressed?”
Peg stared at him for a moment, causing him to visibly shrink away, then turned back to where she was going, leading them down a long corridor lined with thick luxurious leaves and trimmed along the tops of the walls with ornamental berries.
“You have to agree,” Flynn whispered to Merry, “It does look very-”
“Don't say 'swank',” Merry growled, flashing her canines. “It sounds rude.”
Flynn blinked. “Does it?”
Peg stopped at a door mid way down the corridor and opened it. “This way.”
The two pokemon followed after her cautiously. Inside the room almost took their breath away. It was filled with various pokemon either playing some kind of chess-like board game on the floor, nattering over cups filled with assorted berry juices or looking over what appeared to be fliers.
Peg cut through them, leading Merry and Flynn to a door on the other side of the room where she stopped abruptly and knocked twice.
“Who's there?” said Flynn.
Peg looked at him.
Flynn shrank back behind Merry.
A male voice came from the other side of the door.
“Enter.”
Peg opened the door and took one step inside.
“You have visitors.”
“Really?” The voice sounded a little more excited this time. “Well bring them! Bring them in!”
Peg smiled at Merry and Flynn and ushered them inside.
The duo were less than keen however and edged inside as slowly as they could. The door closed behind them, the teddiursa deciding to leave them alone with whoever was in the small room. The walls were filled with book shelves lined with various manuscripts, and sat in a black leatherette chair at a small desk was a pikachu with his back to them. He span round in his chair and opened his arms wide with a grin.
“Hello!”
Flynn screamed.
Merry jumped then cuffed Flynn over the head. “You startled me!”
Flynn gave her the 'wounded puppy' look. “Sorry...”
“It's my fault,” said the pikachu. “I was a little enthusiastic. We've not had visitors in a while.” He stood up and approached them. They eyed him up and down, taking in the fact he was wearing a black waistcoat finished off with a little blue tie around his neck. “The name's Pika, and this, as you have probably guessed, is my place. Hence Pika's Place. Get it?”
“Genius,” said Flynn sarcastically.
Pika seemed to not get his use of sarcasm as he beamed. “Well, welcome! What brings you here?”
“We're lost, actually,” Merry explained.
“Really? Where are you from?”
“Far away,” she said before Flynn could interject. “We came here hoping you could help us. It was the first building we saw, if I'm honest.”
“Well, any Pokemon lost or otherwise is very welcome here. You see, we send out rescue teams to help pokemon like you. Lost, wounded in battle, affected by the crimes of those more hostile, whatever the cause we help them! Does that sound like something you might like?”
Flynn blinked. “You sound like a salesman.”
“Oh...” Pika blushed, a small bead of sweat forming on his left ear. “I'm terribly sorry. I'm promoting my little business! I'm trying to recruit members, and I've not even asked your names! You might even be completely unqualified!” He scratched the back of his head and giggled. “I guess I got carried away.”
Flynn leant over to Merry and whispered, “I think this guy might be a little bit mad.”
Merry nodded and whispered back, “I couldn't agree more.”
“What do we do?” Flynn asked.
“What else can we do? Just follow my lead. I've played these games.” Merry straightened up and smiled at Pika. “I'm Merry, and this is Flynn.”
Flynn stood to attention. “Yes, I am Flynn.”
“Well Merry, Flynn.” Pika sat back in his chair. “Let me tell you a bit about what we do here. Like I said, we send out groups to help those who may need help. We get adverts from other pokemon asking us to help their friends or relatives. As such, our teams have to be good at solving these problems or we don't get our rewards, you see. So good combat skills are necessary, bravery, positive attitude, a preferable knowledge of the area but that's not necessary so long as you have good survival skills.” He looked at them each in turn and spread his paws. “Do you have rescue team experience?”
Flynn looked over at Merry, giving her a look that said if she didn’t answer this question carefully he’d definitely have something to say about it.
“Uhm... yes...” Merry nodded. “We... we are a rescue team.”
“Really?” Pika asked, drowning out Flynn's equally confused remark.
“Yes.” Merry looked over at her friend. “Right Flynn?”
Flynn shuffled his feet as he stifled a groan, then looked over at Pika. “Y-yes.”
Pika spread his paws slightly. “What is your rescue team's name?”
“Uhm...” Merry shrugged. “The Explorers of...”
“Of...?”
“Of...” Flynn looked up. “Stuff!”
Pika raised a yellow eyebrow. “The Explorers of Stuff?”
“Yes,” Merry nodded. “And Things.” She tried to look proud. “The Explorers of Stuff and Things.”
An awkward silence passed between the occupants of the small room.
“The title's a work-in-progress,” said Flynn.
Pika beamed. “Okay. Well then, if you are happy to join then you can.”
“Really?” Merry and Flynn said simultaneously.
“Of course!” Pika stood up and gestured to the door. “Well... shall I show you around?”
Pika opened the door and immediately a large group of pokemon abandoned their eavesdropping and acted nonchalant. Pika didn't seem to notice this, however, and led Merry and Flynn though the large crowd of pokemon and out into the hallway.
“Merry?” Flynn whispered.
“Yes?”
“I’m beginning to question your sanity.”
“Do you want out of this game or not?” she asked.
Flynn didn’t get the chance to answer as Pika began a monologue akin to a realtor desperate to sell a house to the first keen (or not) buyer.
“As you can see there are three doors here, each leading to a different room.” The pikachu pointed to each door in turn. “The dining room, the meeting room and the room we just came from.”
“What room is that?” Flynn asked.
“The relaxing room.”
Flynn looked over at Merry. “Did you see a massage table in there?”
Merry shook her head.
Pika moved on through the hallway, waffling on to himself, and Merry and Flynn took a moment to look around before following him.
“Hey. What's that?” Flynn pointed back the way they'd come at a little wooden square squatting inside the wall.
“That,” Pika said, following his claw, “is the elevator.”
“You have an elevator?” Merry and Flynn gasped.
“Yes. It provides easy access to the medical ward.”
Flynn's jaw dropped and he looked at his friend. “Medical ward? Medical ward? You never told me this game was dangerous!”
Merry stared at Flynn aghast then looked back at the pikachu. He had already wandered on, wittering away, seemingly oblivious to whether or not they were following him.
“Be careful,” she told the snivy. “We don't want to seem suspicious.”
“No, no.” Flynn crossed his arms and looked up and down the hallway. “We don't want to seem suspicious.”
“Flynn, calm down.” Merry waddled a paw at him. “You're a pokemon. You're in a rescue team. Act like it.”
“You're taking this oddly well.” Flynn moved on down the corridor and Merry was forced to follow him.
“Taking it well? I just got shape-shifted! I'm as scared as you are! Even – Argh!”
Pika had led them into the dining room and standing in the middle of it was a stocky, tall tyranitar setting the table with a pink, lace tablecloth.
“Well, hello there Pika!” he boomed. “You've bought some new friends along I see!”
“Yes!” Pika beamed from ear to ear. “These two here are Merry and Flynn. Together they form The Explorers of Stuff and Things!” He turned back to Merry and Flynn and waved towards the tyranitar. “Meet Rexi.”
“Oh how wonderful!” Rexi abandoned his table-setting to stride over to the two pokemon, which didn't take him much time considering his size.
Merry's jaw dropped and a low whine escaped her mouth. Flynn clasped a paw over her mouth and smiled at the tyranitar.
“So... you're a chef?” He eyed the giant Pokemon's floral apron.
“That I am!” Rexi beamed.
Pika gave a nod of approval. “Best chef in Pika's Place! You should try his berry soufflé!”
Rexi's expression became one of concern as he looked down at Merry. “Is your friend all right?”
“She's fine!” said Flynn. “She's just a little – yeow!”
Merry's oshawott canines bit into Flynn's soft, green paw and he yanked it back from her mouth.
“T – T – Tyranitar!” Merry exclaimed.
“What?! Where?!” Rexi's eyes widened and he looked frantically around the dining room. In one swift motion he dived over the heads of the three Pokemon – causing a yell from Merry – to cower behind Flynn.
Flynn looked back at him, then at Pika, his eyes searching for an explanation.
“Don't worry!” Pika laughed. “There are no tyranitar here, Rexi!” He looked from Merry to Flynn. “Rexi is... a little afraid of tyranitar.”
“But...” Merry anxiously eyed the large rock Pokemon then looked back at Pika. “But he's-”
“An oshawott.” Pika nodded. “Exactly!” He then gave the two pokemon a look that said he knew full well that Rexi was indeed a tyranitar and that such matters needed no discussion at that present moment.
“Oh. Erm.” Merry cleared her throat then looked back at the cowering Rexi. “Maybe I was imagining things.”
“Oh! Well!” Rexi stood up, towering over the three smaller Pokemon. “I do that all the time!” He laughed heartily and strode over them to the dining table. “I think I had better get things finished in here, or hungry tummies will be complaining their meals are late again!”
“Very well!” Pika waved a paw. “I shall finish showing our new friends around!”
“Yes! It was lovely meeting you!” Rexi grinned, flashing two rows of sharp teeth, causing Merry to gulp.
“You too!” Flynn and Merry replied, the latter somewhat nervously, as they followed Pika from the dining room.
Once the door was closed, Pika looked at each of them in turn and led them towards a flight of winding stairs.
“Just to clarify,” Pika began, “Rexi has no idea he's a tyranitar.”
“You're kidding.” Flynn frowned. “Has he never looked in a mirror?” At Pika's blank expression, he added, “Or a puddle?”
“Apparently not,” said Pika. “We don't keep puddles in Pika's Place. He was raised by oshawott, and that is the life he knows.”
“And his fear?” Merry asked.
“His family was unfortunately killed by a tyranitar.”
Merry paled and Flynn had to give her a nudge to prompt her to climb the stairs.
“Don't fret,” Pika told Merry. “He's one of the nicest pokemon I've had the pleasure of meeting! I'm sure you'll be fine friends in no time.”
The staircase ended in an intricate tunnel that forked off into many little rooms.
“This is our sleeping quarters,” said Pika. “The females go this way,” he nodded to the tunnel at their right. “And the males go that way.” He nodded to the left. He turned to address Merry. “If you follow this tunnel round, your nest room will be the fifth one on your right.”
“Okay. I'll give it a shot.” Merry waddled to the tunnel's entrance.
Pika then turned to Flynn. “As for you, I can show you the way! Follow me.”
...
Merry waddled down the narrow tunnel, making a mental note that it forked off in many directions, leading to yet more nest rooms. Hers was easy to find however and after exploring a little she backtracked to the given room.
Inside were three piles of hay. One of them was up against a window. The other two were pressed up against the left wall, one of which was currently occupied by an eevee, her nose buried in a book.
“H... hello?” Merry ventured.
The eevee blinked and looked up at her. “Hello?”
“I'm Merry. I've been told by Pika that I'm meant to be staying in here?”
“Hmm.” The eevee crinkled her nose as she took this in. “You'll want the nest behind mine then. The one by the window belongs to Peg.”
“Peg?” Merry looked at the nest as if she expected the teddiursa to jump out of it in a flurry of stars and confetti.
“Yes. She's a teddiursa.” The eevee glanced back down at her book then up at Merry again. “I'm Kiki, by the way. You are?”
“Merry.” The oshawott glanced around the room then realisation washed over her as she finally placed the eevee's voice. Her sister... how had she missed that? She looked back round at the eevee sharply. “You said your name's Kiki?”
“Mhmm.” The eevee was currently lost back in her book and she frowned at the effort to detach herself from the imaginary world within. “Weren't you listening?”
Merry tapped her scalchop and glanced around the room again. This was big. What on earth was her sister doing in the game? She had to find Flynn and tell him.
“Excuse me, I have to look for my friend.” She turned to leave the room.
“It will be dinner soon.” Kiki closed her book then leapt from her nest and padded to the doorway. “I can take you back to the dining room if you want to follow me? Your friend will likely be there soon anyway.”
“Weren't you reading?” Merry followed the eevee.
“I was. But it's hard to read with someone talking to you. Plus there's no point in getting lost in a good book mere minutes before eating. Come on, follow Kiki. Have you been to the dining room yet?” The eevee looked back at her.
“Yes.” Merry shuddered at the memory.
“Fantastic berry soup!” Kiki grinned. “I can't wait! Peg is probably there already.”
...
Pika left Flynn at his room with instructions to have a quick look then join them for dinner. After he'd left, Flynn took one look around the nest room, made note of three nests and turned to leave... almost walking smack into an absol.
The absol blinked. “Excuse me.” His voice sounded somewhat bored, as if seeing a strange snivy in his room was nothing more than a minor inconvenience. “I need to grab my bag.”
“A thousand pardons.” Flynn stepped aside and watched as the absol picked up a bag from a nest by the far left wall, pulled a large lollypop out of it and sucked it noisily as he walked back to the door.
He looked down at Flynn's confused expression and spoke around the large rainbow candy.
“Appetiser.”
He then marched from the room and Flynn was left to stand mouth agape as he watched the absol vanish down the tunnel.
...
Merry followed after the speedy eevee as she spoke at a mile a minute about her books and Pika's Place, the two subjects often merging together. Merry found herself wondering if it was her difficulty in keeping up or if Kiki often confused literature and reality (which isn't something her sister generally did.)
The sound of stampeding feet made Merry look round at the adjoining tunnel and a blur of green crashed into her, sending her rolling backwards the way she'd come.
“Flynn?” she gasped. “What on earth?!”
“Hmm?” Kiki turned around and inclined her head on one side. “You should watch where you're going.”
Flynn scrambled to his feet and rubbed his nose.
“Oh no!” He looked down at Merry. “Does my nose look more bent to you?” He went cross-eyed and pawed gingerly at his face.
Merry stood up and stared at him. “No. What's wrong?”
“Listen!” He moved in closer to her and cupped a paw over his mouth. “I'm sharing a room with an absol that eats candy!”
Merry blinked. “What?”
“Candy! I'm sharing a room with him! He grabbed a lollipop and then he left!”
Merry blinked again. “Pokemon have lollipops?”
“You're missing the point!”
“A pokemon that eats lollipops?” Kiki sat down beside them and looked from Flynn to Merry and back. “I think I know who you mean. You mean Lance, right?” She looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling. “He has a bottomless pit of candy in that bag. Kinda like a pokemon nanny I know. Or read about. Was it a book?”
Flynn stared at her for a moment, then pointed dramatically and went, “Ah!”
Merry nudged him as Kiki stared at Flynn's claw then down at herself. Flynn grasped the point quickly and clamped his jaw shut so tight he practically trembled.
“What's wrong?” asked Kiki. “Did I do something to surprise you?”
“No, I...” Flynn scratched his head. “I was just wondering what looked so good about you then saw the bow on your tail.”
“Oh!” Kiki grinned and flicked her long, bushy tail. There was indeed a bright pink bow on it. “Thank you! I made it myself!” She stood and turned away from them. “Now. To dinner!”
Merry watched the eevee skip away then rounded on Flynn.
“Did you just hit on my sister?!”
Flynn blinked. “Apparently. I didn't mean it. I was trying to cover up my booboo.”
Merry crossed her paws. “Well... don't.” She paused. “So... What’s your beef with this absol?”
“He’s freaky, all right! Came in, all bored voice and munching candy. Like some kind of evil genius, I tell you.”
“Hmm.” Merry narrowed her eyes. “That poor absol.”
“That's what you're thinking?!”
Merry shrugged. “It’s stereotyping, Flynn. Absol, snivy… who else is gonna get the brunt of your prejudice, Bent-Nose?”
Flynn covered his nose with his paws. “You said it wasn't bent!”
Stare.
“Look, it was the sweets, okay!” said Flynn. “Not the absol himself. The sweets! In what demented universe do pokemon eat sweets?”
“Poffins.”
He blinked at her. “I beg your pardon?”
“Poffins,” Merry repeated. “They’re a sweet from Sinnoh. Pokemon love them.”
“Oh.” Flynn nodded and slumped against the wall. “Fine. I’ll try to make my peace with sharing with an absol.” He jabbed a claw at her. “But this is rather hypocritical given your reaction to Rexi!”
“It was a deep rooted primal fear! Like hamsters being scared of being snatched from above!”
“And my wariness of this absol is not?”
“Absol-lutely not!”
“... That was terrible.”
“I know... I’m sorry. I’ll try to reign in the poke-puns.”
“Anyway.” Flynn leant against the wall and crossed his arms. “Absol aside, if we've met your sister, do you think anyone else might have got dragged into this crazy-ass world?”
Merry tapped her chin with a claw and looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t know. Perhaps? But that’s not to say we know them all, is it? Kiki might just be a coincidence.”
“Possibly.” Flynn glanced at her. “I mean Peg has a human-sounding name, right? Maybe she’s from our world, too?”
“I did wonder that.” Merry shrugged. “Another hapless player sucked into the void that is PMD.”
“Maybe we know her?” Flynn's stomach growled loudly, slicing through the somberness. “Huh. I think I might be hungry.”
“Me too. Let's stop worrying over this for now and follow Kiki.”
They moved on in the direction Kiki had gone, back down the stairs to the dining hall. The door was closed and on further inspection sported a colourful sign that said 'sorry, closed.' The relaxing room wasn't too far away so they decided to go back there.
Merry opened the door, then immediately closed it again.
Flynn cleared his throat and nodded at it. “We're still on this side of the door.”
“I know.” Merry pressed her back up against it and fixed wide eyes on her friend. “I don't like it. Everyone was staring at me.”
Flynn shrugged. “Well we are new.”
Merry grimaced and looked down at her flippers. “I feel exposed.”
“Well, I want to mingle. We have to blend in.” Flynn paused and ran a paw over his head. “I hate to be the voice of reason, Merry, but we are pokemon. We need to mix with other pokemon and act like it.”
Merry let out a sigh. “That’s a different tone to your previous worries.”
“That’s because you’ve regressed from your previous ‘act of genius’.”
She narrowed her eyes at the snivy. “Were the air quotes really necessary?”
“Yes.”
She let out a defeated sigh and turned back to the door. “Fine.”
The door swung inward and the two of them stepped inside.
Staaaaaaaare.
Merry started to shake.
Flynn pushed her ahead of him and closed the door behind them.
“Hey!” Kiki waved from a corner beside Peg. “Over here!”
Feeling much more relaxed at the sight of a friendly face (and wagging tail), Merry and Flynn strutted over to the eevee and teddiursa.
“So!” Kiki smiled at them. “New pokemon! How exciting!” She nodded to Flynn and turned to Peg. “He's sharing with Lance.”
“Really?” Peg sucked her paw and looked up at Flynn. “What a combination.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Flynn grunted.
“You're also sharing with Showa.”
“Showa?” Merry raised an eyebrow.
“He's a zorua,” Kiki explained. “A bit of a flirtatious, eccentric individual who likes to get into trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” Flynn asked, eyes widening.
“Pranks.” Peg shrugged. “The pair of them are like chalk and cheese. I don’t know why Lance sticks around with him, if I’m honest.”
Kiki nodded and scrutinized Flynn closely. “Hmm. Your nose does look a little crooked.”
Flynn threw his paws into the air. “Oh for the love of...”
“I was joking!” Kiki laughed and shook her head. “Well, this is going to make for an interesting arrangement!”
“Indeed.” Peg sucked her paw again. “Showa also has a habit of taking on missions much too advanced for himself.”
“Yes.” Kiki nodded and fixed Flynn with a pair of serious brown eyes. “Don't get pulled in.”
“Oh great.” Flynn slumped. “So I'm sharing a room with a dangerous, deadly duo?”
“At least they don't go around stealing pokemon.” Merry said with a nod.
Flynn gave her a blank stare.
“Oh come on,” she laughed. “That was gold!”
“I don't get it,” said Kiki.
Peg shook her head slowly and Flynn copied her.
“Terrible,” he said. “Just terrible.”
“Anyway, it's dinner time soon,” said Kiki. “I don’t know about you two, but I’m starving!”
A bell rang right above their heads, causing Merry and Flynn to let out startled yells and leap a little.
“There it is!” Peg lowered her paw from her mouth and smiled. “Time for berries.”
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