How did this blight of an idea take hold—and how does it continue to affect us today?
Tanuki
Friend of All Chu
- Location
- Rhyme City
- Pronouns
- He/him/his
What Happened to the ERP?
Few movements have ever achieved the ERP's, or Egg Redistribution Project's (not to be confused with the Egg Redistribution Party, a pejorative term for yellow politicians and political parties). None have ever garnered so much support despite its beyond radical nature. It amazes anyone who looks back on it. How could such a horrible idea gain so much support?
Luckily, yet horrifically, its history remains recent, and heavy press coverage makes a timeline easy to construct. While the common assumption is Alakazam of Rescue Team ABC invented this plan, it actually holds roots in decades and century old literature so boring and dull that only the most brilliant pokémon could ever slog through. Alakazam did, however, popularize the idea, and thus served as a figurehead for the movement after his early retirement.
The idea was simple as it was grotesque: all pokémon eggs laid would be collected and the parents would receive another egg at complete random. According to Alakazam, “If you wish success for your progeny, you must therefore extend that to the needs of all children.” Eloquent as ever, he managed even to veil this affront to pokémon rights with a veneer of philosophical sophistry.
Through this framing, he gained mass support from the rescuing class and marginalized groups. He made it seem opposing this plan opposed the well-being of hatchlings across the globe. This tactic oozed down to its supporters who often shouted down their opposition with accusations of bigotry. With these accusations so popular, however, they quickly lost any and all weight.
That is, until one prominent alt-purple pundit Bisharp Onceler stated, “I don’t trust any normal, ghost, or dark type to raise my child! Plenty of them may be nice people, but I won’t leave my children’s lives to chance!” in a leaked interview with fellow like-minded individuals. Ironically, the mon never did have children and died alone with no one to attend his funeral.
His blatant hatred of already vulnerable groups made it difficult for purple politicians to oppose the ERP without so-called-journalists blasting them with this flimsy affiliation. Alakazam even weaponized this public vitriol to land a position in office.
The movement gained unreasonable support. Polling at the time reports that forty percent of those interviewed supported the project, thirty-five percent gave no comment, and a mere twenty-five percent opposed it! At its peak, well known member of Rescue Team ABC Charizard wholeheartedly supported his friend, even claiming the idea his own.
However, this victory did not last. Purple politicians grew only more ferocious in their attacks against their yellow opponents. They crafted many epithets, some still in use to this day, such as “egg snatchers,” “child nippers,” and even the return of the old term, “egg fryers” hearkening back to an essay written by Monathan Quick that claimed eating eggs could resolve rent. Claims that, “Those yellows nut-jobs are just looking for another way to eat your babies,” spread far and wide.
Just as public opinion fueled this movement, it thoroughly killed it. Esteemed Charizard, member of the now disbanded Rescue Team ABC, decried the movement as despicable, disgusting, and that whoever came up with the idea should receive capital punishment. When confronted, he denied claiming the idea as his own. That same vitriol that fueled the movement killed it. Moderate yellow voters felt they had to vote purple else have their babies snatched. Affiliation with the ERP, fabricated or real, became a politician’s death sentence. The Yellow Party even sought mass re-branding, begging the public not to smear them with the opinions of a radical few.
It’s no wonder, then, that Alakazam’s reelection campaign failed miserably, and his seat in parliament replaced by independent Bidoof Bradley, who ran a campaign of chill vibes and general support of afternoon naps.
Even with its figurehead dethroned, however, the ERP remained, while fringe, an influential idea. It didn’t see its true death until The Consortium of Dragons and Dragon Types deconstructed the idea’s founding principles. While dull and generally unapproachable for most readers, the quote, “We don’t need blood-ties to care for all children. A pokémon’s very nature demands the safety and best for all children, regardless of family, crest, or creed,” disseminated through the public’s consciousness.
The Consortium even founded their own private school for dragons with this as their Alma Mater. It famously teaches its students the value of all life, dragon or otherwise. It continues to refuse non-dragon applicants to this day, which is its right as a private institution.
Alakazam, however, retained notoriety as a public thinker. Instrumental in the move from Rescue to Explorer teams, preservation of zangoose lands, and even welfare for unown, the ERP seems a small blot on an otherwise impeccable record.
Yet, he never denounced the movement. Late after his retirement from the public eye, reflecting on the movement, he had this to say: “I do not regret it, no. I only regret its weaponized failure. Malicious actors used it to dismantle decades of progress and fuel their greed. However, I take solace in how it opened the minds of many people. I only hope we continue to move forward with conviction to support all children as our own.”
