Original Tini's to be Named Epic Book...

[Victini1412]

I have been trying to write a book for the last few years, but between college and summer jobs I never really got around to seriously writing this. With the quarantine and graduating college soon I figure now is the best time to do some good work on. I am not expecting this to be finished anytime soon, but If I have some comments and encouragement I might help me get it done sooner.

End goal is for this book to be published, but I am not the best writer (I am good at editing, but I cant seem to edit or use good grammar for my own writing) I would like some helpful advice to improving this story. It was originally a Pokemon fanfic based in the past of the Arecus and The Jewel of Life movie, but has since expanded and grown out of it. I am planning on making this thread a discussion board for the book.

I am planning on posting rough drafts of chapters for some helpful advice (like: where some extra character development might be useful, ways on how to fluff up the chapter more, better ways to explain different topics or scenes, and so on). I am not planning on posting the final copy of these chapters, so if you want to read them then please wait until the entire book is done (and hopefully published). Furthermore, I am looking for an official beta to help me out with some grammar stuff here and there because I can never catch it all by myself. The Beta will be the only person to view and help me out with the final drafts, so I will be a little picky on who it would be because I would hate for any spoilers to get out (I also kind of want them to be interested in the book series too, and enjoy it I guess).

I will also be dropping some Lore, History, and Culture info for people to comment on and to help me refine my idea. They can sometimes be a little ramblely. I do not mind if you use some of my ideas in your stories, since I will be posting a lot of them here for some help, but I ask PLEASE, PLEASE reference me and my works in everything. As I previously stated, I am hoping to publish this one day, so I would like to be known as the original creator for all of these ideas.

Finally, if anyone has any questions about me and this series what so ever please feel free to ask! I would be glad to answer.

 

[Victini1412]

After watching her brother and sister burn to death before her eyes, Amber, vows to bring justice on her only family. She is entrusted with a quest from mysterious being whose interests align with her own. Amber is blessed with the ability to fulfill both of their desires. By traveling across the country she reaches the kingdom to form alliances to help her, but that proves to be more difficult than she originally expected.

Not the best with summaries. Basically Copy and Pasted this from Discord chat

 

[Victini1412]

The Dragon Gods, better known as the guardians of the land of Fenixa, are praised and exalted by creatures of the nation for protecting them and teaching them to survive. They are viewed, by the creatures, as perfect beings full of knowledge and wisdom, but in actuality it is just one giant competition between them to see who is the best. They are far from the perfect creatures they are made out to be with quite a few problems of their own.

Summery really needs work.... Uggg I hate it...

 

[Victini1412]

The climax of Amber quest is upon after gaining new and unexpected allies she sets out from the capitol in hopes of defeating the feared Dragon, Foc. Through this final journey ideals are questioned, secrets are revealed, and decisions will have to be made.

I think this one might be the best out of the three, but I still think it needs more work. It gives the basic premise though I think...

 

[Victini1412]

Once upon a time there was peace which once rained over the kingdom. The humans once lived in harmony with the demi-humans and the creatures of the land. The fact they were different species did not seem to matter much. They worked together, laughed together, and lived together. The advantages of humans compensated for the disadvantages of others. The woodland fairies communicated to the pollinators to make the crops more plentiful while the humans cultivated and farmed crops. The horse-men, who were highly honored and respected, protected the villages from dangerous creatures for exchange for knowledge they yearned for. The sand worms dug underground tunnels throughout the kingdom that allowed for easier travel throughout the nation as well as mined precious underground ores and minerals. Each and every creature had a role and a responsibility that fit into this peaceful time. This led to an abundance of tradable goods which brought wealth to the kingdom. But, that was all in the past.
Once this peace was broken the nation quickly crumbled to this discord. The creatures abandoned the humans, the demi-humans were grown to be hatred and feared, and the kingdom burned to the ground. The kingdoms descension to its destruction was sudden and unexpected as if something suddenly snapped, and have been documented as happening in only half of the lights movements. Only speculation and theories have arisen on why this happened, but there have been no set of confirmation have been placed on any theory. The historically accurate documents of the downfall only state the order of events. These events proceed in the following order: the creatures either abandoning their human friends and family or turning against them and attacking them, the demi-humans - some of the more powerful creatures starting attacking and killing thousands of humans, and finally fire ate through everything and mercilessly. The fire overtook the kingdom and in a couple of star passes burned everything to the ground. This event forced the kingdom to start over from the ground up without the alliance of the creatures.

Since the great fire the kingdom had to crawl out of the firey pit it was thrust in. In the beginning, the kingdoms fate was unknown. Every star cycle that passed was celebrated because of the uncertainty that it would last to the next. This celebration was one of hope and joy for success for the survival of another star cycle. The celebration is now known as the Day of the Phoenix's birth, and it also inspired the name of our new kingdom, Fenixa. The name of the previous kingdom is still unknown to this day. All books and scrolls written before the great fire have been signed to ashes. The stone statues that are littered randomly throughout Fenixa are the only connection to our past. The statues depict large dragon like figures. There are a total of sevan dragon statues each depicting a different dragon. There is an eight statues that portrays an unknown creature as the statue is said to only display a pair of eyes. The plaques that were once carved on each statue for identification purposes have long since eroded away, and are now left unreadable. Cemeteries and memorabilia are placed around these statues as a sign of respect for the ones who perished in the great fire.

The creatures, even without the alliance, still live and prosper within the kingdom. The encounters they have with humans are brief and full of fear, on both sides. The creatures have been downgraded and are treated as just any normal wild animal, mindless. The demi-humans have accepted the fact of their greatness and superiority over humanities and other creatures, and act with hostility with everything other than their own species. Each species lives and prospers on their own, but not to the extent that once was. There are strayers of each species that do decide to be amicable once again with humans, but they are outcasted from their own species as a result never allowed to return. The humans the creatures have chosen to allay with once again have the power to decide the fate of the creature once they have been abandoned.

Time passes without any change affecting Fenixa like the Great Fire again, so the kingdom steadily grew approaching the greatness that the kingdom was said to have once been. The Great Fire now goes by another name, The Great Rebirth, and is only referred to as the former in the scrolls written directly after the event. Ever since the current dynasty as ascended to the throne hundred of cycles ago The Great Fire is now known as The Great Rebirth. The southeastern portion of the kingdom is now dedicated as the main trading port of the kingdom because of its easy access to the water, and is also the location for the royal palace. The westen portion of the kingdom is filled with vast grasslands and forests which is dedicated to growing crops for the country and for trading. The northern and northeastern of the kingdom is uninhabitable due to the mountain range and dessert respectively.

“Hey Sis, we live there right?” A little girl with eyes full of wonder points to the northeastern portion of the simplistic drawn picture of the kingdom.

“Yes, Rae. Good job! We live over here” I smile fondly down at my little sister, currently sitting in my lap, while moving her finger a little more to the east. “We live in a small farming village called Goldenleaf with a surrounding forest. You can easily tell where we are based off the lake near the town center here.” I moved her hand down a little, so it pointed toward a small blue splotch on the map

Rae suddenly jerks her hand out of my grip, tosses the loose map aside, and grabs history book I was reading out loud to her out of my hands, and flips back a few pages before quick firing all the questions that she has been suppressing since story time begin , “Why doesn't anyone know what happened to the creatures? Weren’t things all good before? Why was the name changed from The Great Fire? Can I not make friends with the creatures and animals in the surrounding woods? Why -” She was pointing and looking at the parts of the books that corresponded to the particular questions she was asked.

“Ok well hold your horses there little sis” I rustle her brown hair while slightly chuckling, “You remember the deal we had…”

“But sis~,” Rae wines with putting an emphasis on the ‘is’ sound while attempting to put on a puppy dog face to try to sway my decision.

“No butts Raechel! One bedtime story, and then bed. Any questions you have I will answer in the morning, sound good” I pick her up and carry her over to her small makeshift bed and tuck her in.

“I guess so~... I want you to pinky promise me!” she pouts and sticks her right pinky out at me while the other is her small homemade doll I made her for her last birthday.

I smile fondly at her once again and grabs her pinky with my own, “I think I can manage that, so now sleep time.” I kiss her forehead and turn around to walk out of her room.

“Goodnight Amber, I love you!” Raechel yells at me from her bed and curls up even more in her blankets and closes her eyes.

“Goodnight Raechel, I love you too. Sleep well” I respond back and blow out the candle that was illuminating the small room. I then turn around and pull back the ratty blanket back that served as the door and walked out.

 

[Victini1412]

Please follow the link to the Server:

Discord - Group Chat That’s All Fun & Games

Discord is great for playing games and chilling with friends, or even building a worldwide community. Customize your own space to talk, play, and hang out.

discord.gg