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Pokémon The Road to Cinnabar [Oneshot]

Story

windskull

Bidoof Fan
Staff
Partners
  1. sneasel-nip
  2. bidoof
  3. absol
  4. kirlia
  5. windskull-bidoof
  6. little-guy-windskull
  7. purugly
  8. mawile
  9. manectric
Summary: Alex needs to get to Cinnabar Island to continue his gym challenge. There's just one problem: he's a ground-type trainer, and his only pokemon capable of learning surf is spooked by deep water.

A short story about rhydon. Written for the PokePod project.

The Way to Cinnabar
In Alex’s humble opinion, ground-type pokemon were the best type of all. They understood the pure joy of digging in a sandbox, in coming home after a hard day’s work covered in dirt. But there were problems with raising exclusively ground-type pokemon. Especially when on a gym challenge like he was.

At the crack of dawn, Alex found himself on the Fuscia City public beach. Pale rays of sunlight peeked over the horizon, tinting the sparse clouds pink. Here and there, krabby shuffled out of the sand, making for the ocean. And at the shoreline stood his rhydon, Rhea. She glared out at the at the ocean where tentacool bobbed, their crystals flickering before they disappeared beneath the waves.

A small wave crested and crashed on the beach, sweeping over Rhea’s paws. The rhydon flinched and retreated, growling at the receding water.

Alex sighed. This was getting nowhere. At this rate, they’d never make it to Cinnabar Island.

He flopped back in the sand, weighing his options. Rhea was the only member of his team that could learn to surf, but she clearly wasn’t over her last run-in with deep water. There was a ferry that could get him to Cinnabar, but he’d have to come up with enough money to pay the fare. And that meant seeking out fights or picking up a local odd job in Fuscia City.

His second option was to pick up a new team member. A water type that could carry him across the sea. But it could take weeks to get his new party member to trust him. Weeks that he would need to come up with food and resources for. Once again, money would become an issue.

That only left Rhea.

Picking up a fistfull of sand, Alex watched the grains slip through his fingers. What was he supposed to do?

A shadow fell over him. Rhea stared down at Alex, flicking her ears. She chuffed, nudging him.

“Hey girl,” he said, sitting up. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.” She leaned down to brush her snout against his shoulder, and he, in turn, patted her just below her horn. “You don’t have to learn surf if you don’t want to. I’ll figure something out.”

Rhea snorted, thumping her tail on the sand. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the ocean waves. Alex could feel the tension in her body, wound up like a spring. But then she let out a guttural growl, sweeping her tail across the sand. Spinning, she stomped back to the shoreline. As the water washed over her paws, she flinched but then trudged out further. A moment later, she was waist-deep in the surf.

Alex scrambled to his feet. “Rhea! You don’t have to do this! We can find another way!”

His rhydon turned back to look at him. There was a silent pause, then she chuffed and shook her head – a gesture she’d learned during their time together. Turning back, she took another careful step into the water. Then another and another, until she was neck deep. A wave washed over her, her head disappearing under the water.

“Rhea!” Alex raced into the water, not caring that his clothes got wet. Where was she?

A few feet away from where she’d disappeared, Rhea’s head broke the surface. For a second, there was a wild look in her eye as she flailed and righted herself. Then she relaxed, turning back towards Alex. She was floating. Her back broke the surface as she paddled to him, her tail acting as a rudder.

Slowly, a grin spread across Alex’s face. “You’re doing it!” he called. “That’s it, that’s a proper surf!

Rhea pulled up so that she was standing in the water next to him. She let out a triumphant roar.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, reaching up to give her a pat on her nose. “I know it isn’t easy to get past your experience. But you’re doing so well. Are you certain you want to do this?”

A rumble sounded from the back of Rhea’s throat. She leaned down to give him a lick on the cheek.

“Haha! Gross!” But Alex couldn’t be mad. He could never be mad at Rhea.

Turning, he waded back out of the water. “Come on! For a performance like that, you deserve a treat before we hit the road.”
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. growlithe
  6. quilava-fobbie
  7. sneasel-kate
  8. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, sliding in with something short to get the noggin’ joggin’ for an evening of reviews, and I figured that I’d get my foot in the door with your writing in case things got a bit crazy later this month with my hitlist target. Full disclosure, I know nothing about this fic other than that you wrote it for PokéPod and I’m pretty sure this is the Rhydon one, so let’s see where this one goes:

The Way to Cinnabar

Summary: Alex needs to get to Cinnabar Island to continue his gym challenge. There's just one problem: he's a ground-type trainer, and his only pokemon capable of learning surf is spooked by deep water.

A short story about rhydon. Written for the PokePod project.

Oh, it’s going to be a Surfing Rhydon episode. Which now that you think about it, it really is kinda weird that Game Freak gave the 4x Water-weak ‘mon of all things the ability to Surf. Though I can already tell just from the summary that this is going to be a riot. :p

In Alex’s humble opinion, ground-type pokemon were the best type of all. They understood the pure joy of digging in a sandbox, in coming home after a hard day’s work covered in dirt. But there were problems with raising exclusively ground-type pokemon. Especially when on a gym challenge like he was.

I can already hear the “Boo! Hiss!” from the Fire-types and Electric-types in the audience. Though I wonder if that means that Alex worked some sort of construction gig for his day job.

At the crack of dawn, Alex found himself on the Fuchsia City public beach. Pale rays of sunlight peeked over the horizon, tinting the sparse clouds pink. Here and there, krabby shuffled out of the sand, making for the ocean. And at the shoreline stood his rhydon, Rhea. She glared out at the at the ocean where tentacool bobbed, their crystals flickering before they disappeared beneath the waves.

A couple small typos there. Though I take it that Rhea hasn’t learned how to Surf just yet. Either that or this is the first time she’s about to put theory into actual practice.

A small wave crested and crashed on the beach, sweeping over Rhea’s paws. The rhydon flinched and retreated, growling at the receding water.

Oh yeah, this is going to be an entertaining little short, I can already tell.
803821849384583219.webp


Alex sighed. This was getting nowhere. At this rate, they’d never make it to Cinnabar Island.

Rhea: “*Have you considered training a Gastrodon instead so that way I don’t have to suffer in the icky water?*” >_>;

He flopped back in the sand, weighing his options. Rhea was the only member of his team that could learn to surf, but she clearly wasn’t over her last run-in with deep water. There was a ferry that could get him to Cinnabar, but he’d have to come up with enough money to pay the fare. And that meant seeking out fights or picking up a local odd job in Fuschia City.

Gentle reminder to take a little bit of time to s/"Fuscia"/"Fuchsia" at some point.

His second option was to pick up a new team member. A water type that could carry him across the sea. But it could take weeks to get his new party member to trust him. Weeks that he would need to come up with food and resources for. Once again, money would become an issue.

That only left Rhea.

Oh, so there’s a “domestication”/”socialization” period for wild-caught Pokémon in this setting. I mean, it would make sense, even if it’s something that a lot of journeyfics have a tendency to gloss over, so it’s neat to see it being acknowledged as a major journey impediment here.

Picking up a fistfull of sand, Alex watched the grains slip through his fingers. What was he supposed to do?

Fire up whatever equivalent Kanto has to the PokéJobs app and start working towards that ferry ticket?
701429736290910228.webp


A shadow fell over him. Rhea stared down at Alex, flicking her ears. She chuffed, nudging him.

“Hey girl,” he said, sitting up. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.” She leaned down to brush her snout against his shoulder, and he, in turn, patted her just below her horn. “You don’t have to learn surf if you don’t want to. I’ll figure something out.”

Oh, so she literally hasn’t even had the HM spun up at this point… I think. Either way, probably was a sign that you should’ve made sure Rhea was comfortable with swimming before you were on the beach staring out at Cinnabar, huh?

Rhea snorted, thumping her tail on the sand. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the ocean waves. Alex could feel the tension in her body, wound up like a spring. But then she let out a guttural growl, sweeping her tail across the sand. Spinning, she stomped back to the shoreline. As the water washed over her paws, she flinched but then trudged out further. A moment later, she was waist-deep in the surf.

Oh, so Rhea did pick up on Alex’s disappointment at the moment. Even if I can’t imagine that she’s thrilled about things at the moment:

Rhea: “*For the record, you owe me big for this, Alex.*”
424925435651031049.webp


Alex scrambled to his feet. “Rhea! You don’t have to do this! We can find another way!”

Alex, don’t look a gift Ponyta in the mouth, just saying.

His rhydon turned back to look at him. There was a silent pause, then she chuffed and shook her head – a gesture she’d learned during their time together. Turning back, she took another careful step into the water. Then another and another, until she was neck deep. A wave washed over her, her head disappearing under the water.

“Rhea!” Alex raced into the water, not caring that his clothes got wet. Where was she?

Well, she could be making glub-glub noises right now, but the overall tone of the oneshot up to this point didn’t seem like one of those stories, so I’m sure she’ll be fine… probably.

A few feet away from where she’d disappeared, Rhea’s head broke the surface. For a second, there was a wild look in her eye as she flailed and righted herself. Then she relaxed, turning back towards Alex. She was floating. Her back broke the surface as she paddled to him, her tail acting as a rudder.

Whelp, looks like Alex is getting to Cinnabar after all. I assume that it was due to the limitations of PokéPod’s format, but a part of me wonders if this would’ve been more impactful seeing Rhea practice a bit and then things come together here.

Slowly, a grin spread across Alex’s face. “You’re doing it!” he called. “That’s it, that’s a proper surf!

Rhea pulled up so that she was standing in the water next to him. She let out a triumphant roar.

Well, I sure hope that Alex wasn’t planning on having good hearing in old age, since that sounds like a fast recipe for tinnitus. ^^;

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, reaching up to give her a pat on her nose. “I know it isn’t easy to get past your experience. But you’re doing so well. Are you certain you want to do this?”

A rumble sounded from the back of Rhea’s throat. She leaned down to give him a lick on the cheek.

Honestly a little surprised that she didn’t bear hug him, but I suppose that the lick goes further towards selling the vibe that Rhea isn’t human and thus wouldn’t necessarily default to human standards for displays of affection.

“Haha! Gross!” But Alex couldn’t be mad. He could never be mad at Rhea.

Rhea: “*Gee, I’d hope so given that I’m the one who took the leap of faith with the watery death all around me.*” -_-;

Turning, he waded back out of the water. “Come on! For a performance like that, you deserve a treat before we hit the road.”

784725534470963221.webp


Might have been worth showing Rhea lumbering out and the two heading off, but this is still really wholesome and uplifting.

Alright, made it to the end of things. I’m honestly impressed at how you were able to get a coherent story together in -checks notes- just under 750 words, but I thought that you did a good job at showing a pretty believable slice of a trainer’s life with his Rhydon, and with an aspect of Rhydon that isn’t normally what one would default to for the Pokémon. Your oneshot also carried a surprising amount of worldbuilding stuffed in between the lines for such a short piece, which was fun to see, and makes me hope that one day you’ll do more with a trainerverse setting, since just what you had here was really compelling.

I do think there were a couple parts of this fic that would’ve benefited from a bit of extra length to build things up to them more (e.x. things all coming together for Rhea to use Surf successfully), but my understanding was that PokéPod had very strict length limits for its submissions, so I suspect that that’s an artifact of the format this oneshot had to meet. I did notice a couple typos here and there, which probably merit taking a brief once-over to smooth out.

But altogether, I had a lot of fun with this little ficlet @windskull . I’m admittedly a bit loath to make firm promises of coming back to review more when my Review Blitz itinerary kinda looks like this at the moment:

rD9Q9N.gif


But if nothing else, it certainly reminded me why I’ve had fun reading your various stories in the past. I’ll be looking forward to diving into them again when the opportunity arises.
 
Partners
  1. suikaibuki
  2. ranyakumo
Okay, let's take a look at this.

Here, we are introduced to Alex: a guy who clearly doesn't take after the canon name puns before they started doing whatever in regards to his type specialty, and who also doesn't have access to some of the many Water types who are also Ground type in order to make this conundrum that much easier to deal with. Maybe this version of Kanto is hyper gameish, unlike the choosing not to capitalize Pokemon like is canon. In any case, he has a problem. One that he really should've had the foresight to deal with ahead of time in my humble opinion. So he turns to the infamous surfing Rhydon for help!

I guess money is also a problem for him here, no random nuggets to find. Seems to be going for more realism with some of the other stuff. And then Alex starts freaking out when his Pokemon finally works up the nerve to do so. Quite the contrarian! But then the Surf happens, and he rides that surf. And so they hit the road, but is it really a road they're hitting?

It's fluff, what more can I say? With a dash of hyper realism in the world building, but you probably could've gone into how Surf was taught in the first place. I mean probably the Safari HM, but I'd like to think that's more important than establishing the world rules of this tiny fic. Oh well, not a huge deal, and the fluff is the main part. That said, there's a pretty glaring typo in these 800 or so words: you misspell Fuschia as Fuscia! Multiple times! I can't see any indication that this is supposed to be the case, like it being some secret original city that just so happens to be a single letter away. So I am assuming it's a typo.

So there it is. Nice little fic as I kill time as I'm forced to cook. And the oven beeps as I say this so, off goes the post and off I go to the oven to put stuff in.
 

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
  8. meganium
  9. namo-rock
This is a short one but I wanted to see what some of your mainline stories are like, Wind! You seem to branch out into plenty of fandoms, yet I don't recall if I'd read something mainline-related from you, just PMD, until now.

I have always wondered how something like a Rhydon would be able to learn surfing, let alone use it as a way to travel through large bodies of water. Having a barrier of being a Ground specialist is really clever. It does make me wonder if Cinnabar's location is intentionally that way to challenge trainers to have a diverse set of Pokémon to handle all kinds of obstacles. You'd think otherwise that they would have a boat or something, right? Or just have the money for the ferry, but it seems like that isn't a trivial matter for journeying trainers.

Rhea taking the challenge on anyway was a nice low-stakes outcome. The touch I appreciated the most was how Rhea learned about the body language of shaking her head to reply in the negative, sort of giving a sense if how much they had trained together.

The only line that caught me as odd was how it's remarked that Rhea doesn't have to "learn" Surf, but I don't know if that's something to be trivially done as just trying it out on the water. We don't have a lot of info since the story is so short, and intentionally so, but that's the default assumption, that it'd be by an HM or something. Maybe a better phrase would have been that she doesn't have to use it, or master it, rather than learn it since she definitely should have already learned it. Otherwise, the logical pacing would be too odd.

Anyway, that nitpick aside, this was a cute read. Thanks, and I think another short one is also on my queue next...
 
Partners
  1. skiddo-px1
  2. skiddo-px2
  3. skiddo-px3
  4. skiddo-px4
  5. skiddo-px5
  6. skiddo-rudolph
  7. skiddo-sleepytime
  8. snowskiddo
  9. skiddotina
  10. skiddengo
  11. skiddoyena
  12. skiddo-obs
  13. skiddo-px10
Howdy! I'm taking this part of Blitz as an opportunity to check out the of the work from my fellow TR PokéPod participants. Definitely excited for this one—I've got a bit of a soft spot for rhydon in particular, since it was actually my very first favorite pokémon, and it's good to see some fic giving it a day in the sun!

The description of the shore in the first paragraph is lovely; it's very vivid and scenic, and I love some good wild pokémon at the beach imagery. And then there's a big frustrated rhydon in the middle of it all, growling at the water as if that'll help her figure something out about it, looming (but, like, friendly looming) and casting a big shadow over her trainer when he's lying on the sand feeling defeated. Her conflict here comes across very well, as does her attentiveness to Alex.

In general this does a lovely job of showing that Alex and Rhea have a strong bond: they've learned to read cues from one another, picked up on each other's body language. We might not know everything they've been through and why Rhea's so willing to overcome her discomfort for Alex's sake, but it's still loud and clear that it means something to her.

I do also like the acknowledgement of why "just catch a water-type, then" isn't an easy out for this situation. He doesn't want to just throw a new pokémon onto his team to boss it around and ferry him where he needs to go; he wants to do it right, make sure the pokémon is cared for and that they've actually bonded with each other. (Which presumably also means he's willing to welcome a non-ground-type onto the team long-term, assuming he can't just find a convenient quagsire or something, heh.) I did have a brief question about how long (and pricey) the ferry trip actually was vs. how long earning the money through battles or odd jobs would take vs. how urgent it is that he get there (does Alex need to be there today? in a few days? a few weeks?), but that wasn't really the point here so it's not a big deal.

It might also have been nice to get a bit of a better sense of the incident that previously scared Rhea enough to make learning to surf difficult for her, so that her wanting to push herself forward reads as overcoming something more specific than "ground/rock-types probably aren't super comfortable in water to begin with" without Alex just saying outright "I know this scary thing happened to you before", but as with the above timing/urgency question it's more than fair to want to focus on the "learning surf" part itself, especially with the wordcount limit for the project.

Also I just enjoy surfing kaijumon in general :P They'be been one of my favorite mental images/silly early-installment weirdness facts since Gen 1, haha.

This was a very sweet and sunny snapshot of a bonding moment between two friends, and I'm always here for one of those friends being a big scary ronk monster. Thanks so much for sharing this!
 

ShiniGojira

Multiversal Extraordinaire
Location
Stranded In The Gaps between Multiverses
Pronouns
He/him/they/her
Partners
  1. froslass
  2. zorua-gojira
  3. salandit-shiny
  4. goomy
Hi there! Another day, another review, and you're in luck as this is my final review of the blitz!

Nice and short. This fic was a fun little cute and wholesome tale. I enjoyed it despite it's lack of length.

Rhea and Alex were a cute duo. I really like the bond shown between these two, it's cute and it really shows how close they are with the way Alex jokes with her and how touchy yet gentle Rhea is with him.

I also enjoyed the way Rhea showed off how much she cares for him in how she braved through her fears to help her trainer save his hard earned cash. It's also cute seeing her treating the ocean as some kind of enemy, growling and snarling as if the very water could attack her. Big rhino monster scared of a little puddle. Heh, wonder whether Alex has to explain to strangers why his Rhydon's barking at the rain from time to time.

And Alex thinking about how exactly he could get to Cinnabar was some nice subtle worldbuilding, seems being a trainer ain't all sunshine and rainbows. Good thing he doesn't have to worry about getting to Cinnabar next time since y'know, the volcano's gonna destroy the island in a few years.

And here comes my line-by-line comments:

The rhydon flinched and retreated, growling at the receding water.
Aw, don't be afraid of your 4x weakness Rhydon, you can just use Surf and ride the waves, my man.
Rhea snorted, thumping her tail on the sand. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the ocean waves. Alex could feel the tension in her body, wound up like a spring. But then she let out a guttural growl, sweeping her tail across the sand. Spinning, she stomped back to the shoreline. As the water washed over her paws, she flinched but then trudged out further. A moment later, she was waist-deep in the surf.
That's cute, she's willing to learn despite her fears.

And that should be it from me, this had been a pleasant read and I hope you have a nice rest of your day. See ya later!
 
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