love
Memento mori
- Pronouns
- he/him/it
- Partners
-
Resting Place
After a peaceful near-death experience, Poppy is thrust back out into the real world and forced to reevaluate her life.
A PMD-inspired story. Those Who Will Inherit the Earth uses the same main character names and species but is otherwise a totally different story. The second and third scenes are new as of December 2023. I would like to know how people feel about their inclusion.
After a peaceful near-death experience, Poppy is thrust back out into the real world and forced to reevaluate her life.
A PMD-inspired story. Those Who Will Inherit the Earth uses the same main character names and species but is otherwise a totally different story. The second and third scenes are new as of December 2023. I would like to know how people feel about their inclusion.
Suicidal ideation
Snowy plains melded into the white of a cloudy sky. A sole leafeon wandered across these plains, slowly but tirelessly cresting hill after hill. It took her a while, but eventually she began to recognize the topology. It was relieving to see things laid bare here, absent all the crowds and dreary buildings. To breathe fresh air in the place that had, ostensibly, been her home.
The thought did not cross the leafeon’s mind that she might be here forever. If it had, though, it would not have scared her. She was comfortable.
***
Lavender attended to the sound of Poppy’s breathing, expecting it at any moment to stop. The leafeon’s face was lax, already deathly—but then, it always had been, in sleep. When Lavender—trotting across Sunglow Thicket, eyes scanning for threats, dreams of treasure glinting in her head—had first encountered Poppy, she thought she’d found a corpse. Surely no living creature could be so still. But a scent like toasted had wheat touched her nose, so delicious and so utterly unlike death, and if she looked very closely she could just see the undulations of that cream-colored chest…
Eyes seeming still closed, Poppy had teased, “Never seen a grass-type before?”
Lavender blinked. She hadn’t meant to remember all that. She stood and walked stiffly to the cupboard as nostalgia, as though indignant from months of suppression, tore through her mind. She remembered her first outing with Poppy, the way she had ignored the well-worn paths that snaked through Aster Woods, the utter lack of urgency in her meandering. With Poppy, the forest crowded with signs of life: fisher cat and deer tracks in the mud, foamy egg clusters and cocoons hanging from shrubs, milky snake skins beneath leaf litter, spider webs woven through the understory. The birds emerged from their nests, the spiders from their crevices; the grasshoppers sang with newfound fervor. Whenever Lavender suggested getting back on track, Poppy would just respond with “You can go on ahead, if you want,” and somehow Lavender never did.
The stream water had been as clear, then, as the vodka in the cupboard. It had been a hot day in which sensible animals slept in the shade or dug holes for themselves. Yet Lavender, in her perennial haste, would never have thought to cool off in the stream had Poppy not led her in. There, in dappled shade, cocooned with the water’s sound and summersweet’s scent beneath an arching willow, she had felt her own stillness acutely. When Poppy playfully poked her head out from behind a curtain of racemes, Lavender realized, in a moment of satori, that she no longer cared about becoming rich.
Maybe she should have kept caring. Maybe if she’d retained her single-minded work ethic while money was still easy to come by, she wouldn’t have grown so desperate as to drag her partner a thousand feet up Jagged Mountain to end up half-dead.
***
At some point, Lavender had dozed off. She’d dreamed a wordless dream. Poppy had been snuggled against her in her bed, as she might have been on a normal evening after work. Just one thing differed: the way Poppy held her, tight and trembling, nose pressed into the nape of Lavender’s neck.
***
Poppy opened her bleary eyes and saw a familiar delcatty fussing with something in the kitchen. Lavender happened to look back then, and when she noticed her partner, her eyes went wide.
“Poppy!” Lavender almost tripped over herself as she bounded toward the leafeon. She nuzzled her just behind her head. Poppy caught a whiff of her breath, which smelled of alcohol.
“I’m so glad you’re awake,” Lavender said. “Oh, but you’re probably parched… I’ll get you some water right away.”
Lavender hurried back to the kitchen and returned with an open can and a straw in her mouth. She placed the can beside Poppy and put the straw inside it. Poppy slowly lifted her head to drink and was instantly put off by the metallic taste. She should have been used to it, but perhaps her time unconscious had changed that.
“Lavender,” she said—and then launched into a coughing fit. Her partner tensed. “It’s okay,” Poppy assured her once she regained her composure. “My throat is just dry, is all…”
Lavender sighed. “Okay, thank goodness. So, what were you going to say?”
Poppy took a breath. “I can’t keep scavenging with you anymore.”
***
The patterns of the floorboards’ grain; the shards of glass scattered across the floor; the raindrops trailing down the window pane. These small things took up Poppy’s world for the next 12 hours—at least, during the brief moments when she opened her eyes.
Poppy did not want to move. But the city was quieter now that it was evening, and the air was bound to be less toxic. Now would be the best time to leave. Before Lavender returned.
Poppy stood up and took a deep breath as she waited for her dizziness to fade. She was strong enough to walk, though probably only at a slow pace. She checked the contents of the pouch around her torso. Only one can of water left, but she decided against taking more from the apartment.
Poppy encountered Lavender on her way out. Lavender’s gaze was low, and she only raised it after she had nearly bumped shoulders with Poppy in the narrow hallway. Her eyes went wide. “Oh, P-Poppy,” she began. “I’m sorry I threw such a fit, I just felt like—”
Poppy did not stop to listen. “There is nothing you could have said to convince me to stay,” she said as she staggered to the end of the hall. “Good luck with everything.”
It surprised Poppy how little it hurt to leave behind her partner of two years.
***
Pristine snow blanketed the world once more.
When Poppy realized where she was, she began to quietly cry. Since her tears hindered her sight, it took a while before she noticed the creature that had appeared beside her. She suppressed her feelings for a moment and wiped her eyes to get a better look at it. It was small, barely over half her size, and quadrupedal. It was covered in plain white fur, and its ears and head resembled a rabbit’s. It did not look like any pokemon Poppy had seen or heard of.
“What is wrong?” the creature asked. It spoke to her softly, like it was her friend. “Do you not like it here?”
Poppy shook her head. “I-I do… But I know I’ll just have to leave again…”
“Actually, that need not be the case.”
Poppy looked at the creature with befuddlement. “…Do you know a lot about this place?”
“Indeed—in fact, I created it. Or perhaps I should say that we created it.”
“What?”
“About two days ago, you died—or at least, you came close. When your soul entered my domain, I learned what kind of pokemon you are and made this place, which reflects where I think you would have wanted to go after you die. Your heaven, you might say. It is something I do for all the souls that have passed on. Usually I think those under my care are satisfied, but there are exceptions, and I wanted to make sure you were not one of them.”
“Are you saying… If I had truly died, I would have never left this place?”
The creature smiled sadly. “That would be nice, would it not? In reality, a disembodied soul cannot last long before disintegrating. All I can do is provide comfort in the interim.”
Poppy looked down. “I see… So after that, it is just oblivion…”
“Transformation, I would say. It is not the kind of thing that could be grasped by a mind.”
“I see,” Poppy sighed. “Or, I guess I don’t. But regardless… Why am I here now, if this place is only for the dead? Have I died already?”
“No, you are merely asleep. To come here ordinarily you would need to be close to death, but because of your prior visit, it is different. Your soul has an affinity for this place. When you awake, however, it should return to your body unharmed, and you may continue to live as usual. Or I can keep you here if you like, and you can await disintegration. I leave the choice up to you.”
“A choice, huh…” Poppy lifted her head, and a smile crept across her face. “I—”
She was interrupted by the sound of Lavender’s voice.
***
“Poppy! Poppy!”
Poppy felt a feeble breeze against her fur as Lavender nuzzled her shoulder. “Yes, okay…” Poppy mumbled. “I’m awake…” She opened her eyes slightly, and then regretted it as soon as she saw the concern on Lavender’s face.
“Oh, thank goodness!” Lavender gushed. “I was really worried since you barely had time to recover, and it’s really not safe for you to be out by yours- Ah!”
Poppy reached up and pulled Lavender down so that she lay beside her. She buried her face in the luscious fur at the back of her neck. “Hush,” she said.
And Lavender did. The duo laid in silence for the next hour as the sun came up over the mountains behind them. Not that Poppy was paying attention; she was content to keep her eyes closed and let Lavender’s scent envelop her. While the city air had tainted it somewhat, there was still a familiar sweetness there.
Eventually Lavender broke the silence. “Poppy, I have to ask, what are you going to do?”
Poppy stood up slowly. “For now let’s just spend some time together. It’s been a long time since we just… went on a walk. Come on.” She limped toward the nearby trail.
“Poppy, I don’t think you should stray any farther from the city. If you get attacked in your current state…”
Poppy continued to walk, ignoring Lavender. Soon enough she heard Lavender’s footsteps as she trotted to catch up.
The walk was almost nice—the moths and dragonflies were certainly better company than all the strangers out on the city streets, but Poppy kept her head down whenever she caught the scent of decay in the air. She knew it was from the corpses of ferals.
Eventually the duo stopped to drink some canned water, at which point Poppy spoke. She told Lavender about what she had experienced last night, and most of the things the white-furred creature had said to her.
Lavender seemed pleased with the news, which Poppy had not expected. “Wow, you went there again? If what that creature says is true, you might turn out visiting every time you go to sleep. Maybe that will help you work through things?”
I don’t want to work through anything, Poppy thought to herself. “I would say so, but… there’s one other thing, Lavender.”
“What’s that?”
She took a deep breath and struggled to meet her partner’s eyes. “That creature told me that my soul is still dying. So the next time that I visit that place, it will probably be the end.”
Lavender’s eyes widened, and she trembled as she clenched her jaw.
“Lavender, please… It’s nothing to get upset about…”
“What do you mean it’s nothing to get upset about?!” Lavender’s voice was shrill and strained when she shouted. “After all that, you’re still going to… Still…” She wailed and broke down in tears.
Poppy went over to comfort her. “I’m sorry,” she said as she touched the crown of her head to Lavender’s. “But I’ve accepted it, and you need to do the same.”
A part of Poppy—a very big part—wanted nothing more than to leave. Her partner’s blubbering disgusted her, especially after the peaceful silence in that snow-covered realm. But pity held her captive.
“That’s nonsense,” Lavender sobbed. “I want you to stay with me… There has to be a way to… fight this…”
“We’re lucky enough that I’m even here right now. Just be grateful for it, Lavender.”
“No…”
Lavender lay down defeatedly, and for a long time it seemed like there would be no end to her tears. But despite her grief she still could not cry forever, and when she finally calmed down, she wiped her eyes and addressed her friend with a hollow voice. “Poppy, earlier you said you couldn’t keep scavenging with me. That was before you talked to that creature, so…” She gave a shuddering sigh. “So I still don’t understand why you said that…”
“It’s not important now anyways,” Poppy said. “You need to worry about living your own life.”
“It is important, Poppy. I need to know if I’ve done something wrong.”
Poppy shook her head. “No. Actually, I’m the one who erred, because I couldn’t protect you. When the lycanroc attacked us, I realized I didn’t have it in me to hurt another pokemon. But that’s what we’ve come to, right? Infringing on wild pokemons’ territories as we exhaust every dungeon’s resources. It was fun when it was easy. But now it’s become a matter of life and death…”
“Poppy, I don’t blame you for hesitating back there. I don’t want to hurt pokemon either. But we were just trying our best to make a living, and that’s nothing to feel bad about.”
Poppy hid her scowl and didn’t respond. It wasn’t worth it to argue.
***
Poppy could see far out from this vantage point. The snow softened the world, rounded the mountain peaks.
“I trust you have made your decision?” a familiar voice asked.
Poppy looked beside her and saw the white-furred creature. She nodded. “I will remain here.” She began to wander, but the creature’s voice stopped her.
“…You don’t want to tell her you love her?”
Poppy shook her head. “No. It would only make her feel worse. Besides, to be honest…” She looked up at the ashen sky. “I’m not sure I really did.”
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