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Pokémon I Walk through Your Dreams and Invent the Future.

You Will be Alone Always and then You Will Die.

zion of arcadia

too much of my own quietness is with me
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. marowak-alola
author's note: this is the first part of a threeshot I've been working on for a while now. lately, I've been wanting to mess around with different genres in the pokemon world. it works really well given how open-ended pokemon is. also, for once, it isn't pmd. been wanting to dabble with ranger stuff. this is aiming for a mix of noir and magical realism, with some surrealism tacked on because I can't not write surreal scenes lol.

special thanks to DemiurgicPen and MadderJacker for their beta work.

Content Warning:
story is a hard M. it deals with matters of infidelity, sexual assault, and addiction. there won't be any specific details, however (for one I'm not that type of writer, for another it wouldn't be allowed on tr if I did lol). there's also vulgarity, gambling, alcohol and drug abuse, violence, and sexual innuendo.

I Walk through Your Dreams and Invent the Future.

Chapter One: You Will be Alone Always and then You Will Die.

“I can tell already you think I’m the dragon,
that would be so like me, but I’m not. I’m not the dragon.
I’m not the princess either.
Who am I?”


Micah: I quit smoking years ago, you know.

Woman: Oh?

Micah: Nasty habit.

Woman: My Grandpa raised me, you know.

Micah: Do I?

Woman: *giggles* He used to say that he’d go to the donut shop every morning for forty years straight. ‘Heart failure hasn’t gotten me yet, so why worry now?!’

Micah: That right? I used to be able to make smoke rings, you know.

Woman: A man of many talents.

Micah: Damn straight.

*Sounds of laughter, sheets rustling, low moans follow*

Eventually the recording stopped. It always stopped eventually. Tobin pressed down on the rewind button and listened again. Again. And again. A—

Brit took the recorder from her. It looked small cradled in his large hands. A small black box. Pandora’s Box had been small too, probably.

Brit said nothing. (His eyes said: Just bleed glass. They shatter across the carpet and tear your feet to ribbons.)

Sunlight streamed through the cabin deck windows, illuminating the scars illustrating Brit’s rubbery purple skin. They both agreed their favorite was the one on his left knee; a clean white dagger, gained back when he still was a croagunk.

The Ranger School had held its annual capture the flag event. Brit and Tobin participated without much incident. At some point, Tobin had noticed Brit was bleeding. Normally his blood was blue: it had been gold, then. Just the once. The other students mentioned they’d seen splotches of gold splattered on the forest floor, following a trail of breadcrumbs to capture the flag from the witch in the woods.

“You think you know a guy.” Tobin fiddled with her wedding ring, gold band gleaming in the sunlight. Cold hard metal pressed into soft human flesh. She reached for the recorder.

Brit drew back. He shook his head, a minute gesture; the spike jutting out his skull trembled delicately. The recorder wound up stored away in the cabin dresser, a box locked away within a box.

She had nothing to occupy her hands anymore. So Tobin went and made the bed: secured the elastic corner of the fitted sheet around the mattress, straightened the top sheet, ensured the sides hung even in length, tucked the bottom hem underneath the mattress, checked it lay smooth and flat. She could bounce a coin off it. Tobin started mechanically folding the corners of the sheet into diagonal lines.

The movement woke the bronzong seated atop the table. Their painted red eyes flashed. Once, pause. Once, twice, thrice, pause. Then steady, a beacon of light shining out from a hollow shell. Peppermint was all arches and curves despite being made of pure steel. They always seemed frozen on the edge of perpetual motion, always seemed trapped in the silence following the peal of a struck bell.

Peppermint: Because you demand more from yourself, others respect you deeply.

“Oh, fuck off.” That snapped Tobin out of her daze. What the hell was she doing, anyway? She kicked the bed—earning a stubbed toe for her troubles—and hopped away, grumbling more curses while rubbing her sore foot against the carpet. Her mood lightened; a good F-bomb or two often improved her temper.

Tobin loved saying the word fuck. The feel of her bottom lip brushing against her teeth to pronounce the hard F, the way the back of her tongue bucked against the roof of her mouth to form the hard K. It was the ultimate catharsis.

Plus, fuck had such versatility. It could be used as a verb, like: “He fucked up.” Or a noun: “He wanted a hard fuck.” Hell, even an adverb: “He was a fucking waste of space.” Flexible, just like how she liked sex.

Tobin finished dressing. The stiff cotton of her red vest constricted her shoulders, but wearing a uniform helped her feel more in control. People respected sharp lines and crisp shapes.

She combed her short, dark hair into some semblance of order. Brit had turned on the television; The Knights of Castelia danced and sang across the screen. The music was catchy, and Tobin hummed the opening tune under her breath as she headed out on the adjoining balcony for a breath of fresh air.

Ocean blue stretched as far as the eye could see in either direction, the tang of salt on her tongue reminding Tobin of tears. Somewhere beyond the horizon lay Unova. It had been a long time since she’d been home.

The rocking motion of the cruise ship was more noticeable out here. Beneath her feet, the stabilizers fought the waves and currents to remain steady. A constant battle for equilibrium.

A knock on the door startled Tobin out of her reverie. She blinked. Right. It was almost noon. The cleaning staff would be making their rounds, and she had forgotten to put out the Do Not Disturb sign. After a brief pause, Tobin went and answered the door.

Peppermint: Everywhere you choose to go, friendly faces will greet you.

Tobin flipped them the bird.

A somewhat harried audino waited outside, fiddling impatiently beside a bright yellow cart and towering linen stack. Her large, round blue eyes widened when she caught sight of Tobin.

“Oh! Sorry,” she said. The words didn’t match the movements of her mouth. Tobin frowned, head tilted askance.

“You’re not Maria.” Tobin had a habit of getting to know the help in at least some capacity. Before leaving for Almia, she had spent much of her teenage years waitressing at a seedy bar. It put certain matters in perspective.

“No…” The audino fidgeted, feelers curling up toward her ears. Tobin dropped it.

“We’ll get out of your fur. Thanks for everything.” She turned inside. “Oi! Brit, Mint! Move your asses!”

They both took their sweet time, but eventually, everyone stood—or floated—by the door entrance. Brit nodded respectfully. Peppermint paused mid-drift, facing the audino.

Peppermint: Go for the gold today! You’ll be the champion of whatever you put your mind to.



The neon lights pulsed the rhythm of the blues.

Casino Royale burned with nightlife. It wasn’t even half past noon, yet. Pokémon and humans brushed shoulders around smoke-laden tables and halo-ringed machines.

Droplets of emotions past lingered in puddles. Every so often someone would cry, struck by inconsolable sorrow, or rage for no reason at all. Rarest of all was the euphoria, like hitting the jackpot, an addiction that kept people coming back in hopes of tasting ambrosia once more. The company that ran the cruise liner had pinned up notices warning them to take heed in convoluted legalese—it was about as effective as most warnings.

OUT OF ORDER

The bold words flashed across the black screen. Tobin rested her forehead against the slot machine. Closed her eyes.

Maybe she should follow Brit’s example and just play pool. This was the third broken slot machine in a row: surely a sign. Games of skill sounded deeply unappealing, however. She would rather hand her money’s fate over to the gambling gods and let come what may.

A few feet away, Peppermint was pretending to divine people’s fortunes. Tobin let it slide, as they were off annoying the general populace instead of her. But if Peppermint got them kicked out, she would not be happy.

“Another one, eh?” asked an unfamiliar voice.

Tobin started, whirling around, before relaxing just as suddenly. A small, older lady with large, owlish eyes blinked at her. Deep lines weathered a long face, and the lady licked her cracked lips, adjusting her grip on the massive trash can full of garbage. She held it out in front of herself almost like a shield. Her name tag read Mabel.

“I guess, yeah.”

“Probably the ghost. Been causing nothing but trouble ever since he snuck onboard our poor missus.” Mabel looked as tired as Tobin felt. “You a ranger?”

“Yeah.”

“My granddaddy was a ranger.” Pride sparked energy in Mabel’s dark brown eyes.

“Yeah?”

Mabel launched into a rambling anecdote. Tobin tried to concentrate, she truly did, but her gaze was drawn to the casino pit, to the blackjack tables just over Mabel’s shoulder. Blackjack. Tobin could work with that.

“Well, uh, I should…” Tobin gestured ambiguously when a lull in the one-sided conversation presented itself. Mabel seemed to understand right away, edging aside, the wheels of her trash can grumbling in protest.

“Thanks for your service. And thanks for obliging an old lady, ma’am.”

“You too,” Tobin said, and then winced. Foot meet mouth. How was the weather up there? Oh, a little crusty, but not as crusty as the floor. Just brilliant.

She hurried away before the social faux pas could settle into awkward silence.

Three men in their early twenties were huddled around the nearest blackjack table. They looked like new money, their clothes gaudy, wearing white tuxes that stood out like sore thumbs in the dark casino. Old money knew better, usually.

The dealer was a muk. Globs of poison burbled around the holographic chips and cards, melting and reforming and melting again. Anything that dribbled onto the table vanished with a soft hiss. When he spoke, golden grillz flashed in his mouth.

A jynx clung to his side. She twirled long locks of silvery blonde hair, lounging about with calculated indifference, smiling coquettishly at the young men. Her smile never quite reached her eyes.

The muk watched Tobin approach, rolling an unlit cigar from one corner of his gaping maw to the other.

“Deal me in next hand?” Tobin asked.

The muk stared. After a long, torturous moment he nodded, the rest of his gelatinous mass following the movement in a slow wave.

One of the young men whistled, looking her up and down. He could not have been older than twenty-five, reddish-blond hair carefully gelled, full mouth naturally curving into a smirk. It reminded Tobin that she would be thirty in a few months.

Her mood soured. As she went to purchase chips at the cage, Tobin already felt the bitter tang of regret tickle the back of her throat. Still, she scribbled her name and table number down for the floorman.

She had last visited a casino over her honeymoon. They went to Goldenrod City—planning on taking the magnet train to Saffron for the second week—eager to enjoy urban life after years spent in the more rural Almia. Micah had always been good with numbers, and they cleaned up at voltorb flip, to the point where the staff politely kicked them out. They told that story as an ice breaker at many a party, although it had morphed and exaggerated itself until they were somehow banned from half the casinos in Johto.

It had been even funnier because Micah was terrible at gambling, cheating with reckless and obvious abandon at home whenever they broke out the cards or dice. He would constantly sneak peeks at her hand, reaching over and fiddling with the dice if he was even a little buzzed. Tobin often got annoyed by how seriously he didn’t take it (dammit, I play to win) until eventually, she would give in, laughing as she tossed her cards at him. Micah would then declare himself the winner in a supreme delusion of grandeur.

When the muk called Tobin’s name, voice a low rumble like gravel scraping against the grain, she absently laid her money on the table. The yen disappeared in a slither of liquid movement.

“You’re from the north?” asked one of the young men. He looked eerily similar to his smirking friend, only with dark brown hair and a more sincere smile. The third and final member of the trio was bald, eyes a striking shade of grey, mouth a thin, flat line as he studied his hand.

“Mhm. Vientown.” Tobin upped the ante. The brunette’s expression went blank with lack of recognition.

Brit stood just beyond the threshold of the pit, beyond the touch of the neon lights. She could see him seeing her, the red of his throat sack stark in a world dulled by shadows. Tobin directed a two-fingered salute his way. Brit returned to his pool game.

“Darling,” interjected the jynx. Her affected drawl crept like ice down Tobin’s neck. “You wouldn’t happen to be attending that fancy convention in Castelia?”

Tobin grunted noncommittally. There had been a fire, and she had helped put it out. Apparently, that was a big deal to the Ranger Union. Sometimes Tobin dreamt about being burned alive at the stake. The medal of valor they gave her would melt a hole in her breast, right over her heart.

The brunette looked intrigued. He said, “Name’s Darren. That”—a gesture toward Blondie McSmirker—“is Trevor. And last but not least”—the bald guy glanced at her, briefly—“we have Miguel.”

Trevor gestured sardonically, a mocking imitation of a half-bow.

“Tobin.”

When she stayed silent, Darren frowned, rifling through his pockets. He pulled out a cigarette pack.

“Smoke?”

“Quit a long time ago.”

Darren shrugged, visibly giving up, bringing a cigarette to his lips. He slapped away Trevor’s questing hand before punching him in the shoulder. They both started laughing, Darren smugly lighting the cigarette and shifting out of Trevor’s reach. Some of the tension eased.

At last, the blackjack game began. Others came and went, joining and leaving in a never-ending flow of bodies. Time passed. People randomly burst into tears or raged for no reason at all.

The lights from the slot machines twinkled and flashed like shooting stars. (Make a wish, they said, and maybe one day all your dreams will come true.) The casino was its own particular universe, each person a planet, each table a sun they orbited around. Micah had once told Tobin that the earth was in a constant state of free-fall.

Blackjack was a game of probability management, of juggling odds. A large helping of luck was needed to beat the system, but it could be done if the cards fell just right. Take a hit, take a stand, never surrender.

Tobin won some and lost some. The three young men lost some and won some. The muk and the jynx took home the vast majority of the spoils.



Tobin eased into the hot tub. Heat soaked her flesh, straight through to bone and marrow. Tobin released a sigh, relaxing muscles she hadn’t even realized she’d clenched. Goosebumps rose on exposed flesh.

Beside her, already half-submerged, Brit’s throat sac expanded and collapsed rhythmically, his eyes drowsy and tranquil. Peppermint rested on a beach chair several feet away, supposedly working on their “tan”. Such a strange creature, Tobin didn’t understand them at all.

A swimming pool separated the hot tub from the rest of the water park. Joyful screams and shouts could be heard echoing clear across the ship. The water slide—pride and joy of the cruise, featured on many brochures—was a tangled network of brightly colored tubes. How precarious it seemed, boldly looping beyond the deck boundary, flirting above the churning ocean depths below before nipping back within the ship’s safe confines.

Tobin had a vision, briefly, of the slide collapsing, falling apart, dragging the silhouettes flashing within down, down, down to the bottom of the sea, where they’d sleep with Lugia. (This is the hubris of man.) Then she blinked and reality restored itself. All was well, all was right.

Someone joined her in the hot tub. It took Tobin a moment to recognize him: Darren. One of the boys from the blackjack game. A dewott hovered over his shoulder, experimentally dipping a paw into the water.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Darren grinned. A line of water glistened along the lines of his sternum. “Small world.”

“No wingmen this time?”

Tobin could feel his eyes running over her bare shoulders. It was flattering, frankly, made her feel younger. Desirable.

“They’re running interference like the good little wingmen they are.” Darren jerked a thumb.

She followed the direction he pointed toward, and saw them. The bald one—Miguel, that was his name—sat with his legs crossed on the foam-rubber floor. He had his phone out, tapping a response to someone, skin bleached white from an overabundance of sunscreen visible even at a distance. A servine slept coiled in his lap.

Trevor lay sprawled out on a beach chair, already turning an awkward shade of orange. Large black sunglasses occupied half his face, although he lifted them up to wink at her, rubbing a hand down his chest. He revealed the depths of his farmer’s tan in the process, bearing striking resemblance to a monferno.

Tobin rolled her eyes.

“Good help is hard to find,” Darren said, smiling.

“You know I’m married, right?” Tobin held up her hand. The metal band glinted gold in the sunlight.

Darren blinked, shifting, before his smile returned. “Well, hey, sure, but no harm in talking, is there?”

Tobin didn’t respond at first. Her hand fell, resting on the boiling surface of the hot tub water. It tickled. She clenched her fingers as though to grasp the water, lifting her hand, watching it dribble through her fist. Darren watched too, somewhat mesmerized.

“So what brought you here?” Tobin asked.

“Huh? Oh. Oh! We graduated college.”

“Congrats.”

“Thanks. University of Driftveil. We made a promise years ago, when we first got pledged and, uh, hazed, that once we made it out the other side, we’d celebrate by going on a cruise.”

“When I was in Ranger School, there was this one thing the seniors had us do, you remember, Brit? With the mattresses?”

Brit opened one eye. After a moment of thought, he smiled, red middle finger touching his thumb in an OK sign. Tobin grinned back.

“Mattresses?” Darren asked.

“Yeah. They stacked a bunch of mattresses on top of each other, then placed either a marble, a pea, or a cue ball underneath. You slept on one of ‘em and the next morning you had to guess what it was. If you got it right, you were golden, likely to pass school with flying colors. If you got it wrong, you’d have to do the seniors’ chores for them for a month.”

“And here we just had the good ol’ fashioned, tie people up half-naked to a flag pole routine. Amateurs,” Darren said. Tobin snorted. “Did you get it right?”

“Nah. I said marble; I got pea.” The tower of mattresses had leaned and swayed throughout the night. She hadn’t slept at all, afraid she’d roll off. The mattresses would follow and Tobin would surely be buried alive.

“Unlucky. You had a one in three chance. Good odds.”

“Better than blackjack, that’s for damn sure.”

Darren laughed easily. He had a silver crown in his left molar. “What’s it like, being a ranger? I tried the whole trainer song and dance as a kid, but quickly realized nature and I aren’t too simpatico. Unless it’s, um, a picture of nature framed on an office wall. But, y’know, now that I’m pretty much all set, that sort of adventurous job—it’s romantic to think about, almost.”

“Has its ups and downs, like most jobs.” Tobin bit her lip. Twisting smoothly, she gestured at Peppermint. “Hey, could you pass me my capture styler?”

She always kept it nearby. Just to be safe.

Peppermint: Courtesy begins in the home.

“Please?” Tobin maintained a straight face with slight difficulty.

The bag lifted into the air, begrudgingly dragging itself toward her. She leaned over the hot tub, one arm resting on the warm concrete while the other reached for the dangling loop of leather. The bag stuttered and almost dipped back, beyond her grasp, but Tobin was too quick; she snagged it out of the air with a grunt, overheated skin flushing an even darker shade of red.

Peppermint: Emulate what you respect in your friends.

Tobin scoffed, turning and facing Darren, who’d watched the entire proceedings with obvious amusement. He had a dimple in his right cheek. His dewott companion finally eased both feet into the hot tub, humming a soft little sea shanty under her breath:

“So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we’ll roll the golden chariot along!
So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we’ll all hang on behind!”

The capture stylus was waterproof. To many it was the ultimate utility device. To Tobin it was the fairest invention in all the land.

Tobin pressed the release trigger underneath the stylus; the capture disc dropped away with a quiet, delicate whir. A miniature cyclone stirred, circling around the disc, which became the eye of the storm. It hovered within the seething water, emitting a series of chirps, mimicking the tune Darren’s dewott hummed.

Red, green, and blue lights sparked to life around the disc. They danced to the beat, an energetic balboa, blip blip beep beep; the figure eight was improvised, a shimmer of circles striving toward infinity.

The dewott stopped singing. Brit opened his eyes fully. Both followed the disc’s movements, their heads bobbing in time with the rhythm of the music.

Brit twirled his claw. Purple laced the lights, and the pitch shifted into a minor key. Tobin remembered their conversation once upon a time (My, my, what great red middle fingers you have, my dear. The better to flip me off with?) and bit back a smile.

Darren looked equally entranced, one hand breaching the water and sliding toward it. His hand was so large—or, perhaps, the disc was so small—that it could nestle comfortably in the dip of his palm. Tobin pulled the trigger again and the disc flitted coyly back home. The rapid beat of its mechanical heartbeat thrummed briefly before falling silent. It was a little death.

“You can look but you can’t touch,” she said.

Darren blinked a slow blink as though waking from a deep slumber.

“Sorry. Forgot.”

“You wouldn’t be the first.” Tobin tapped the stylus tip against her temple. There was a hint of a knowing smirk to her smile.

The dewott yawned, slumping onto her back, sharp white fangs gleaming under the clear blue sky as she folded her arms behind her head. The joyful cries of people enjoying the water park drifted toward them on salt sprayed wings. Oh, what a beautiful day.



Tobin clicked the plastic buckles of the corduroy vest into place. Cinching the strap tight across her waist, the clasps made a satisfying sound as they interlocked. Snick. Snick. Snick. She then fiddled with the shoulder pads. They were just a shade too large for her slim frame.

Brit wandered over, prodding the flashing LED lights decorating her harness. Tobin batted him away with a grin, saying, “None of that now. Back to your battle station, soldier.”

Brit held himself at attention, sucking his throat sack flat against the underside of his jaw. Tobin laughed. The sound resembled her appearance: short and sharp. Except for the shoulder pads, which were still too big.

“Okay, but try to remember that it’s not real, yeah?” Trevor was leaning against a sign, absently fiddling with his laser gun. He pushed himself upright, movement smooth and languid, head cocked like a curious meowth. His farmer’s tan had faded, no longer quite so egregious, although he still looked ridiculous.

Tobin could make out the sign behind him. It read:

  1. NO RUNNING
  2. NO JUMPING
  3. NO SHOUTING

Might as well have written NO FUN and saved some space.

Several other people and pokémon milled about in the blue quarter. A simple black partition divided them from their opponent. Darren was on the red team. Tobin looked forward to kicking his ass.

“Try not to slow us down,” Tobin said at last. It wasn’t the most amazing of comebacks, but Trevor didn’t seem particularly worthy of an amazing comeback anyway.

His pignite grunted in response, ears standing on end. The stocky, muscular beast stood by the entrance to the laser tag arena, where pounding synths and neon lights beckoned from within. Trevor smirked.

“It’s kinda funny how these places always use vaporwave. One day I’d like to shoot people to the strumming of a banjo, know what I mean?”

Tobin laughed despite herself.

The light above the entrance flashed green. Go time. People began moving, trundling through into the room beyond.

“Let’s dosey doe, partner,” Tobin said.

Trevor’s smirk deepened.

They followed the rest of the group. A tall, dark maze of glowing panels rose up to meet them. In unison, Trevor and Tobin split, sprinting in opposite directions.

A volbeat staff member droned on about the no running rule. He was ignored. Tobin remembered how she’d once played a round of paintball with Micah, a long time ago. He’d hated it, hated the sting of the paint pellets even through their vests, hated the bruises left behind in their wake. Maybe he would’ve liked this better.

She cradled her laser gun closer to her chest, rounding the corner only to run directly into a flash of red light. Her vest beeped: meep, meep, meep!

Tobin swore under her breath. Darren’s face swam into view, long shadows granting his features a sunken, skull-like cast. He grinned, ghoulish, before dashing away.

“Coward!” Tobin called out.

There would be no tactical retreats on her watch. She took off in pursuit, chasing his elusive figure. Her face hurt from smiling, adrenaline thrumming through her veins.

The pulsing synthetic music faded to the background. Muffled shouts and snort, the pitter-patter of feet on tarmac, took prominence. Tobin ducked, weaving through the arena, smoothly running through the checklist in her head: always stick to the off-angles, never approaching head-on; strafe from side to side, becoming a harder target to hit.

The laser gun ran out of ‘ammo’, so Tobin went to refill it at one of the stations. They lurked in the corners of the arena, hulking machines with a scanner resembling an eye, like the cyclops of myth. But the cyclops was sleeping, and she was No One.

A tingle shivered up her arm, the first clue something was wrong. Tobin ignored it, nipping past a young makuhita. She caught sight of a vaguely Darren-shaped silhouette. She fired; their vest glowed yellow.

Another tingle, sharper, more painful, sparked at her hand. Tobin dropped the gun with a curse, instinctively sucking on her thumb. She’d burned herself, somehow.

The acrid scent of electrical fire filled the air. The entire arena gleamed shades of gold. People’s shouts turned to screams.

The cyclops had woken up.

They shut down the entire arena, plunging everyone into true darkness. Tobin couldn’t see. Her hand was in front of her face and she couldn’t see it. She stood still, nails digging into thighs, and thought about circles. Suddenly the volbeat reappeared, surrounded by an ethereal glow. He touched her shoulder and told her everything would be okay. She didn’t believe him.

More staff members rushed in, most carrying flashlights, and ushered everyone out. Some muttered under their breath about ghosts. Tobin recalled, dimly, someone else somewhere else mentioning something similar.

Much of the next half-hour passed in a blur. The cruise’s medical staff came and checked up on them all, fussing like overprotective mothers. Darren, Trevor, and Miguel were fine if a little shaken, as were their pokémon.

Brit watched Tobin carefully; he was no doubt waiting on her signal. They knew each other too well.

Security eventually arrived, standing around the perimeter the laser tag staff had marked off, harrumphing over nothing. In Tobin’s experience, security guards were some of the most useless people around, bar none. She marched up to them, Brit skulking in her wake.

“I’m a ranger. Let me check it out,” Tobin said, flashing her capture stylus. “Lowers chance of property damage that way.”

They hemmed and hawed before circling around to some more harrumphing, although they clearly found the second portion of her argument compelling. At last, they agreed to let Tobin try first; if she failed or took too long, they’d call for some ace trainers.

“Hey, uh, be careful,” Darren called out. Tobin responded with a nonchalant wave.

The arena was still pitch black. They’d cut the music too, and beneath the silence, Tobin heard the ship breathing. Inhale, exhale. Her capture disc hummed, flitting about a few feet ahead, illuminating everything in a rich purple glow. It would occasionally dart back, twirling around them, then carelessly skip ahead once more. Brit’s slick skin shimmered iridescent beside her.

The eye of the cyclops flashed. Then another, further down. Tobin prowled after them, her tread silent.

They guided her to a television hanging just beyond the arena. Normally it would display scores as people exited. Now, however, only static played across the screen. As Tobin and Brit approached, drawn like moths to a flame, it turned orange. Characters appeared of their own accord:

:)

Tobin frowned, flicking her stylus. The disc glided upward on smooth, concentric energy rings, dancing over the frame of the television set. Nothing happened. After a moment, new words appeared:

Ooooh, pretty!

“Hey, get out of there.” Tobin frowned, folding her arms. “Just want to talk.”

You could always come inside instead.

A strange current crackled through the air. Tobin rubbed her arms, the hair there standing on end. She said, “That might be difficult. Don't be difficult.”

But we’re talking right now. :D

Tobin exchanged an uneasy glance with Brit. He stepped several paces closer to the television before jumping back, grimacing. A faint acrid scent, similar to earlier but closer to burnt rubber, hit her nose. Tobin touched his shoulder; Brit nodded back at her.

“I prefer talking face-to-face.”

Two huge eyes blinked into existence.

Better?

“Not really, no.”

Let’s play a game then! :D :D :D

“What, hide and seek?” Tobin asked, more than a little sourly.

Noooo. Well, kinda. I know part of a secret. Let’s race to see who figures out the rest first.

The screen flickered. Music blared from nowhere, a steadily rising fanfare. Both Tobin and Brit jumped back, clamping their hands over their ears. The acronym RES flashed as two orange spotlights hopped into view on the screen. They bared their fangs at Tobin, before directing their blinding lights toward the acronym. The fanfare faded away.

Images of a woman sleeping in a tower appeared. A masked figure appeared, sneaking inside. After he left, thorns curled around the tower, strangling it. They were thick, knotted, an ugly dark green, covered in jagged spikes.

fin.

CAST

Tower… ROTOM
Thorns… ROTOM
Prince… ???
Princess… ???????????????????????????????

DIRECTOR

ROTOM!!!

He thought she would wake up, but she didn’t. Now thorns are growing out of her skin. Isn’t that sad? :(


“What are you saying?” Tobin asked, unnerved. Her knuckles whitened.

The ship has many eyes. We share sometimes, and sometimes I see things. But not everything. But I want to know! And I bet you do, too. Don’t you just love planting seeds?

Brit was shaking his head, thick red lips pursed in thought. Tobin’s own thoughts took the form of shapes: circles and squares. They were too similar.

“Why?”

Because it’s fun!

“Nope. Nice try, but nope.”

… Because it’s wrong?

Tobin kneaded her temples. She had a throbbing headache.

“Get out of that fucking TV and maybe we can talk about this some more.”

Only if you let me stay in your stylus.

Tobin glowered. She had the sneaking suspicion she’d been set up. “Deal.”

Brit’s expression harbored clear discontent. She’d be hearing about this later, that was for sure. Too bad Peppermint decided to stay behind in the room, they were useful when it came to dealing with ghosts.

The disc withdrew to the stylus. Another little death. The television was the only light remaining, now. She set her device on the floor and stepped back.

Lighting arced from the television to the stylus. Tobin had to shield her gaze from the bright light. When she could look again, the television had gone dark. The stylus changed color from red to gold, shining like a volbeat at night. She picked it up gingerly, half-expecting a shock, and two large blue eyes reappeared on the touch screen.

:)
 
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love

Memento mori
Pronouns
he/him/it
Partners
  1. leafeon
Okay so I started reading this a while ago and for some reason I only just finished today. But I'm still the first, I guess.

I wonder whose perspective the poem at the start is from... The rotom's maybe? Heck if I know.

Brit said nothing (his eyes said, Just bleed glass. They shatter across the carpet and tear your feet to ribbons).

I don't understand the meaning. Maybe I'm too simple-minded. I think sometimes I struggle with your figurative language.

Normally his blood was blue: it had been gold, then. Just the once.

Strikes me as very magical realism-y. A supernatural, yet insignificant event.

The audino fidgeted, feelers curling up toward her ears.

Cheers for the creative body language

It had been even funnier because Micah was terrible at gambling, cheating with reckless and obvious abandon at home whenever they broke out the cards or dice.

Cheats at cards, cheats on women?

She could see him seeing her, the red of his throat sack stark in a world dulled by shadows

Maybe just me, but I sort of imagined things were pretty bright/gaudy given that pulsing neon lights were mentioned earlier

Her affected drawl crept like ice down Tobin’s neck.

Nice

Sometimes Tobin dreamt about being burned alive at the stake. The medal of valor they’d given her would melt a hole in her breast, right over her heart.

Struck me as very dark, even for Tobin. I wonder why she dreams about that in particular. As for the last sentence... I think the implication is that she feels she hasn't earned the medal? Maybe that's super obvious, but I want to see if I'm understanding right.

The lights from the slot machines twinkled and flashed like shooting stars (Make a wish, they said, and maybe one day all your dreams will come true). The casino was its own particular universe, each person a planet, each table a sun they orbited around. Micah had once told Tobin that the earth was in a constant state of free-fall.

Certainly there is a lot of noir-esque cynicism in the story, but there's also a lot of prettiness. An interesting combination

Take a hit, take a stand, never surrender.

Cheers for wordplay

Goosebumps rose on exposed skin, playing a game of tag with the sun and wind.

One of those figurative lines I sort of raise an eyebrow at, but you know, I think it might just be me again.

“Nah. I said marble; I got pea.”

I tentatively read this as meaning that maybe she makes a bigger deal out of things than she should... but I think it may have a different meaning, which I'll get to later.

It might’ve been more accurate to call it pokémon-proof.

This felt like it didn't flow that well from the previous sentence, since said sentence ended with a remark on the stylishness of the stylus, which doesn't have anything to do with it being pokemon-proof, presumably.

Oh, what a beautiful day.

This struck me in a weird way where I wasn't sure how ironic it was supposed to be. Given the general tone of the narration, I felt that it *should* be ironic, but it didn't feel like it was set up to be that way? Maybe the previous scenes somehow led me into thinking she's more miserable than she's really supposed to be.

People began moving, trundling through into the room beyond.

I wonder if anything would be lost if this were written as "People began trundling into the room beyond."

Her face hurt from smiling, adrenaline thrumming through her veins.

Well, I guess she isn't all doom and gloom...

They lurked in the corners of the arena, hulking machines with a scanner resembling an eye, like the cyclops of myth. But the cyclops was sleeping, and she was No One.

Alas, another sentence lost on me.

She stood still, nails digging into thighs, and thought about circles.

Why circles?

The arena was still pitch black. They’d cut the music too, and beneath the silence, Tobin heard the ship breathing. Inhale, exhale. Her capture disc hummed, flitting about a few feet ahead, illuminating everything in a rich purple glow. It would occasionally dart back, twirling around them, then carelessly skip ahead once more. Brit’s slick skin shimmered iridescent beside her.

The suspense!

The acronym RES flashed as two orange headlights hopped into view on the screen. They bared their fangs at Tobin, before directing their blinding lights toward the acronym.

The description makes me think of spotlights more than headlights—it seems like they're turning. The "fangs" also threw me off for a moment, but like I said, not always good with metaphors.

Anyway, the ensuing bit made me think about the pea. "Don’t you just love planting seeds?" says the rotom—and, well, a pea is a seed. Perhaps it sprouted beneath the princess' mattress.

If it's meant to symbolize someone, I am not sure who the princess could really be other than Tobin. Maybe it's some metaphor about her closing people off? Who knows, just a shot in the dark. Maybe it's someone we haven't even seen yet.

Tobin’s own thoughts took the form of shapes: circles and squares. They were too similar.

Again with the shapes—was there something I missed? I tried reading this chapter twice but I'm still just not sure.

Overall thoughts time. As I said, I think there is an interesting blend of beauty and cynicism, but that might be part of why I had a hard time gauging the mood at certain points. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say I feel disconnected from Tobin—kinda the same issue, I guess, since presumably the tone of the narration would reflect her state of being. I guess my best interpretation of her is that, well, she's clearly torn up about Micah, and I think she wants to distract herself from it while she's on the cruise? Because she seems upset at the start, but then that kind of fades away, it feels like. But I don't feel like I have a good read on her at all, and as a consequence I don't feel like I quite get what you're going for with the story yet.

It's worth noting that I don't generally understand people well and I tend to have weird takes on characters. This could all just be a me problem.

There's an awful lot of mentions of gold throughout the story, but I am not sure what it might mean yet.

Anyway, I'd be curious to know if I'm, like, totally on the wrong track or whatever. Up to you, though. Hope you enjoy writing the rest of the story.
 

zion of arcadia

too much of my own quietness is with me
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. marowak-alola
Oh, I just saw this! Thanks, appreciate it.

Glad both the noir elements and the magical realism elements shone through, that was definitely the goal.

I don't understand the meaning. Maybe I'm too simple-minded. I think sometimes I struggle with your figurative language.

I wouldn't worry too much about understanding right away. A lot of the meaning will make sense once the story is concluded. That said, much of the figurative language is referencing either fairy tales or Greek mythology, if that helps. But I wrote it with the intent of the references standing on their own while also enriching the meaning if the reader chooses to look into them. I'm also of the opinion there isn't a 'wrong' way to interpret a text, as long as it's supported by the text itself. So don't beat yourself up for getting it 'wrong' haha, at worst you're working with only a third of the information I currently have.

Why circles?

So... hmm, there are a lot of ways I could answer this. The simplest is that it's an important symbol, not only to Tobin, but to the Ranger franchise as a whole, which is gameplay predicated on drawing circles to calm pokemon.

The prose remarks are noted! I especially agree with the observation about being "pokemon-proof", haha. Even at the time I found it a touch cheesy, no idea why I kept that line in tbh.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Always nice to hear from you.
 
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K_S

Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Hi, reporting from catnip here with your review of chapter one!

(in response to the -poem?- opening and recording bit, plus Tobin and Brit’s starting interactions)

And here we meet Tobin and Brit, nearly right off the cuff, I’m getting obsessive vibes off of Tobin (and a bit creeper vibes considering what he’s likely listening to… an intimate moment/convo between micah and a woman… on repeat no less, ung) I’ll say while having him start listening to the device is informative about him personality-wise, the opening of not knowing what Brit and Tobin look like or their immediate setting, does add a smidge of float to the piece, we’ll see if it gets resolved later on.

Also, I was left wondering why micah was named but the woman was not.




(from Brit taking the recorder to the first mention of “neon light” and page break… I think it’s a page break? The formatting got a bit scrambled when I copy-pasted it, sorry…)

Alright, Tobin’s a gal, nice to know. And Brits a guy, large-handed (I had to read this twice to figure that though…). Nice analogy with pandora’s box and her getting in a bit too deep with the thing.

I’m curious to see how this recording is going to blast things to heck, (since opening Pan’s box did so… it seems a logical.. metaphorical… probable conclusion...)

The blurb after Brit “said nothing” threw me for a bit, is this metaphoric, hindsight, foresight, remembered dialogue, a sign of psychosis from the narrative carrier…

And we got setting, nice. And I like how you used it to springboard into getting into what Brit looks like. I’m now figuring Brit’s not human. Was the fav scar “left” by a clean white dagger, “looks like one” or something else?

Well, we got the story a little later in. (makes amused noise) I love how the RangerSchool class goes from organized sport to a near mob hunting due to finding something odd in the woods. I’m guessing the gold blood odd here –in a fantastical setting without a solid set of norms because fandom’s rather fluid it’s either way really-. Though why it is might need to be expanded on if it’s important besides it being a one-time event?

And back to the present.

So Tobin’s female, human, and is/was wedded. Sighs. I’m now pretty confident as to what she was listening to. Divorce is going to be messy with evidence like that. Assuming she goes the legal route mind.

A ribbon-based recorder hm? Wow that’s near antique, but it helps establish the setting as old-fashioned. Or Tobin and Brit are saddled with such resources.

And despite not talking I get Brit’s trying very hard to be the source of reason I wish him luck there. And Brit seems almost cutely fussy with the bed, kinda breaks stereotypical poison type norms there… granted most of the poison types I see in fandom are grimers/muk for some odd reason…

And we meet a new cast member, peppermint the gender-neutral bronzing with painted eyes… wondering how big the table is/cabin because aren’t bronzing rather… large. I like how you described her, it’s a nice touch.

And Tobin and her fixation on certain expletives. Made me laugh, truth be told. And recalls me to Castlevania’s Belmont and humming about how “It’s the simple pleasures” before decking someone and starting a fight just because. Definitely the same energy.

So setting, seaside… excuse me sea cruise ship and Unova’s home, was home? I think I’m just going to wait until they land. Geography, is not my strong point here…

And Peppermint is… the monarch of pep talk pick me up phrases… how did Tobin not release her into the wilds it’s such a personality conflict…

(From the line “Neon lights” to “took home the spoils”)

To the rhythm “of the” blues. Pulsed only blues to the rhythm? I’m either missing some words or more tired than I care to admit and not following....

The “yet” feels excessive and since it doesn’t do too much for the line could easily be dropped.

The build-up perspective of the Casino seems from the perspective of a psychic considering the focus on the emotion of the patrons and what not. I was surprised to see the “view” as it were, settled on Tobin.

As I’ve literally seen people doggedly try to make black screened, laser dead registers work before with large signs posted over them telling people not to use them.. I can totally agree with how little people mind warnings right in front of their faces.

By having Tobin’s main contacts be with the staff, the little people, it adds an approachable level to her as a character. Though why she’s capering around in what sounds equivalent to a work uniform in a leisure facility that might kick her out’s throwing me a bit.

The build-up to the table, the muk (a guarantee failsafe of against thieving, between toxicity and sticky hold) and jynx assistant were a nice touch, also how you fade out from the nominative and descriptors Tobin tabs on the tables patrons until she gets their names is a nice touch.

(from the hot tub moment to clicking buckles into place)

Though considering the recording how long she’s married is the question. Still, it’s a good deflection trick. And a good gauge of a person’s character n how they respond to it. Darren’s… sending mixes signals suffice to say.

Still their back and forth is informative…

You know for someone who only speaks in kitchen soup for the soul quotes Peppermint’s rather sassy. That takes talent and I am respecting that.

Not familiar with the ranger’vese all I’m taking away from the stylis scene is it’s quite the light show, which is a shame since it feels like it should be more.

(from the line “Tobin clicked” to the stories ending line, a smiley emocon.)

Ah laser tag, the ultimate indulgence, and another warning sign that’s going to be ignored, I can tell.

I think what I like about Tobin is how real her relationship with her cheating other half is. Even though it’s all but over she’s haunted by him, not totally letting go. Even in something as simple as a night out playing laser tag brings back his ghost.

Well, the ghost was brought up, by the old lady cleaner, though in this verse I suspect “ghost type” might be a more apt fit.


You know it’s amusing to see… that endearing go-getter help people impulse that peppers the young kid-fic hero genre turns into a gruff sour knight so many times and Tobin’s got it that trait spades.

With the cast introduced, the setting established, I suspect we’re moving on to the crisis aspect of the story arch.

You know, why am I not surprised that the ghost is a sassy snarky thing… Creepy yet cute, and perhaps alluding to a murder on the ship… nice. And yes, Tobin, you’re being played so hard. Though why now ghostie’s reaching out… this isn’t an old mystery/game I’m wagering. Anyway, I’m sure later chapters will tell, this is the intro after all.



And that’s it, thanks for posting this story, it made for an interesting read.
 
Build Me a City and Call it Jerusalem.

zion of arcadia

too much of my own quietness is with me
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. marowak-alola
author’s note: remember how I said I had a weakness for writing surreal scenes? yeah… you’ve been warned, lol. this chapter was really really really hard to write and underwent copious revisions. in the end, I decided to just post if I ever wanted to finish lmao.

I Walk Through Your Dreams and Invent the Future.

Chapter Two: Build Me a City and Call It Jerusalem.

“Actually, you said Love, for you,
is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s
terrifying. No one
will ever want to sleep with you.


The shower water had long since run cold. Cool, wet ceramic pressed against Tobin’s back. She rested her head between her knees. Water spooled through her hair, pooling around her toes before swirling down the drain.

She stood up, turning off the water. The nozzle flow slowed to a stop. She stayed still, dripping wet. Blank white walls sectioned into corners by sharp horizontal lines consumed her vision.

Eventually, she stepped out of the shower.

Tobin dried down, chasing away the goosebumps running along her arms. The towel was soft. Her short hair hung in damp clumps around her face.

Hazel eyes underscored by dark bags stared out the mirror as she brushed her teeth. Up, down, around, and then once more with feeling. Tobin’s hair had taken on a bit of a frizz, fringes curling up into a cowlick. She spent a good minute finger combing it into submission.

The reflection twisted. Her skin sagged and greyed, teeth jagged and black. One tooth shone gold. Gnarled hands clasped around her neck; Tobin thought she might choke and die. (Nothing happened.)

Tobin exhaled. Her breath fogged up the mirror. The witch of the woods was gone.

Putting the ranger uniform on was like donning a suit of armor. Stiff, starched fabric zipped up and over soft, supple skin. The scattered pieces were stitching themselves back together. Tobin straightened her jacket.

She walked back out into the main cabin. Brit still slept, sides steadily rising and falling. Peppermint was awake, fixated on The Rotom (it had become a title denoting the inevitable) parading around in the corpse of Tobin’s capture styler. The disc sparkled with golden jubilance, spinning midair in lazy loop-de-loops.

Peppermint: Hardly anyone knows how much is gained by ignoring the future.

“Yeah, yeah.” Tobin pulled up a chair. She reclined all the way back until it groaned with protest. Resting her feet on the desk, Tobin glowered at The Rotom. It hadn’t tried anything. Yet. But it had also been evasive as hell the entire previous night. “Oi. What was all that noise you were making before about princesses and princes.”

The disc halted at the apex of its loop. Gravity took a moment to reassert itself, and the disc plopped back onto the bed. A glowing orb of energy hovered above the disc.

Brit startled awake, glancing around, before narrowing his eyes at The Rotom. It sparked and shifted, orange body sharply ethereal, flickering in and out of existence. Then The Rotom vanished. It left behind a message pulsing in neon shades:

I said what I said

race ya for it ;)


Tobin swore loudly. Storming over to the desk, she wrenched the bottom drawer open. Inside the recorder rattled like the warning rasp of an ekans’s tail. Tobin slammed the drawer shut, recorder untouched, sitting down with a thump.

She seethed. She fumed. Peppermint watched her.

Peppermint: If you want the rainbow, you have to tolerate the rain.

Tobin turned on the television. Knights of Castellia was playing. The music shimmered like sequins in the sterile air. Micah hated musicals. He would always complain about how randomly bursting into song was distracting and took him out of the story.

A piece of paper torn from the pad on the desk had a few half-hearted scribbles from the night before. They were notes Tobin had jotted down while attempting to grill The Rotom for information. It read:

thorns and towers

ghost types are douchebags

surveillance maybe saw... something


Tobin couldn’t exactly jaunt up to security with this, though. Even if she could, she didn’t want to involve those bumbling morons unless absolutely necessary. And it might still be an elaborate hoax. She didn’t trust The Rotom.

Brit peered over her shoulder. He tapped the second line with his bright red talon. Tobin underlined the word douchebag for emphasis. At least they agreed on one thing. He took the pen out of her hand, adding another comment:

rape?

Such an ugly word.

Tobin desperately wanted a cigarette. All these years later and the urge still threatened to overwhelm her from time to time. The ghost of nicotine past kissed the back of her throat.



Tobin liked tennis courts. The sharp white lines bisecting bright green clay. Rectangles within rectangles. Every obstacle had a place, every rule had a purpose. It was a safe space.

The noonday sun beat down overhead. Wingull trailed behind the cruise ship, neat white vees in a crisp blue sky. One of the crew members had told Tobin a wives’ tale several days earlier: wingull only ever followed captains who beat their partners. It was a bad omen.

Sweat dripped along the dip of her forehead. Her clothes stuck to her skin. Tobin struck the tennis ball backhanded, slicing it toward Darren. He lunged, his own racket narrowly missing as the ball spun away.

Peppermint declared the ball had already gone out of bounds, awarding the point to Darren.

“Bullshit!” Tobin shouted. She fought the urge to hurl her racket at the hard ground.

Darren stood doubled over, hands resting on his knees. Pit stains darkened the entire upper half of his t-shirt. Sweat dripped off the bridge of his nose.

Beside him, his dewott twirled her own racket. The blue otter had bounced around with ease, occasionally pulling off an acrobatic flip for no reason at all. Show-off.

Tobin glanced over at Brit and saw agreement reflected back in his gaze.

Peppermint: He who expects no gratitude shall never be disappointed.

Tobin raised a choice finger in the sky.

“Maybe… a break…?” Darren suggested.

“No way that was out.” Her mouth set into a stubborn line. Darren just shrugged, panting hard. He looked so pathetic she couldn't help but take pity on him.

Tobin walked over to the side of the court where their water bottles waited, squeezing a stream into her mouth. She tossed Darren the bottle, watching with mild amusement as he plopped down and doused his face.

Brit and Darren’s dewott started a new round. Love-love. The word tasted funny on Tobin’s tongue. Romance had become a means of keeping score.

No longer held back by their human companions, the pokémon went all out. They zoomed across the court as the ball whizzed almost faster than the eye could track. The ball made a satisfying thud whenever it connected properly with the racket. Streaks of sludge trailed behind it from Brit’s strikes, purifying into sweet-smelling water whenever it was volleyed back.

Peppermint made another bullshit call. Both pokémon paused to shoot them a withering look. The game continued.

Tobin licked her lips and tasted salt. She thought about the ocean.

“Have you noticed anything strange lately?” Tobin absently grabbed her foot, arching her back. She held the position for five seconds, feeling the pull in her calf, before switching to the other leg.

The ship swayed, hitting a wave of turbulence. Tobin almost lost her balance. Darren laughed, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Stranger than yesterday?”

“Along those lines.”

Tobin stared out at the court.

Darren scrubbed at his wet face. Water glittered on the pads of his fingers, between the swell of his knuckles. The dots connected into the shape of a pokéball. It shook once and then clicked success. A critical capture.

The ship rocked again, hard and jarring. Tobin didn’t stumble this time. A cold breeze whipped across the bow.

“Miguel has been quiet recently.” Darren shivered. “Well, more quiet than usual. We were chilling at that nice bar down below, the Crystal Wailord.”

Tobin flopped beside him. She traced concentric circles on the smooth clay. If she breathed deeply she’d catch a whiff of hot plastic. The cruise liner whined under the weight of its passengers and their baggage.

“Anything else?”

“Yeah. After we liquored him up a bit, he was mumbling some story his ma told him as a kid. Something about, uh”—Darren scratched under his chin—“a gardevoir that would drown children or whatever. Why?”

“Just wondering. This trip has been weird.”

The sky was so blue. And the ocean below them, too. Two domes meeting on the line of the horizon. And at the end of the line maybe they’d find Arceus. Or Unova. Whichever came first.

“Yeah. I was surprised you wanted to hang out again, honestly,” Darren said.

Tobin fiddled with her wedding ring. The gold band cut into her flesh. It no longer fit properly: a sign she was growing fat and lazy.

“It was cool, though,” Darren added, “the way you marched in there last night. Very Ranger-y.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And sexy.”

“Give it time,” Tobin said, deadpan.

She wondered what Micah would think if she fucked Darren. Taking a disadvantage and turning it into a deuce. Would he be jealous? Would he even care at all?

Darren laughed.

Brit and Darren’s dewott switched sides. Brit puffed out his throat sac, strutting past. Darren’s dewott twirled her racket in response. Such unnecessary posturing, yet that was half the fun (maybe Brit was a show-off too).

Water and acid now littered the court. All that wonderful geometry, ruined. Competition was a beautiful, terrible thing. It divided the world into winners and losers. Trying to impose order over violence only inspired chaos.

“You better clean that shit up when you’re done!” Tobin shouted. Brit waved his compliance before contorting to reach for a corkspin. Refocusing, Tobin added, “I used to play tennis with my husband. He liked playing, but hated playing against me.”

She set the wedding band on the ground between them. There it lay trembling, subject to even the subtlest whims of the ship’s movements.

“Can’t imagine why.” Darren grinned. “Figured you were gonna beam me with that thing several times.”

Tobin pointed the racket at his forehead, right between the eyes. The racket was swathed in fur. Soft beige strands clung damply to her fingers. If she flexed she could feel the antler handle throbbing beneath the fur coat. (When the passing seasons changed would it change too? a racket that bloomed in rhythm with the cherry blossoms.)

Then Tobin dropped it, the clatter loud and jarring, folding her arms behind her head. She drawled, “I play to win, baby.”

Darren smiled his slow, easy smile. A sudden commotion distracted them. People were gathering along the starboard bow of the ship, pointing and gesturing. Many had pulled out their phones. The flashes were almost as bright and loud as the crowd.

Tobin and Darren glanced at each other. They stood in unison. Brit and Darren’s dewott continued their tennis match, clearly uninterested in the growing spectacle.

Tobin had long ago mastered the art of forcing her way through a crowd. She pushed ahead, stubbornly uncompromising, ignoring the indignant glares and grunted curses. Some of them recognized her uniform and respectfully subsided. Darren trailed meekly in her wake.

A school of alomomola were racing alongside the cruise ship. Tobin had never seen them move so quickly before; usually, they floated placidly upon the surface of the sea. And yet here they were soaring freely.

Pink ink unfurled across the ocean’s blue parchment. Songs lyrics about love and healing were scrawled in the margins. (No one could read what they wrote, not even the clever ones.)

Water flowers swelled around the surging school. They spilled forth like a spoiled secret, propelling the alomomola ever onward. People cheered, urging them to outstrip the cruise liner. Children sat on their fathers’ shoulders and waved their chubby arms in the air. More lights from phones flashed.

It was difficult to think of towers and thorns in moments like these.

“A good omen, yeah?” Darren asked. A cigarette hung loosely between his lips. “Sure you don’t want one?”

She shook her head. Darren shrugged before pulling out his lighter. The cigarette tip shimmered gold; Darren ignored the dirty looks from those around them. He touched her, a bit hesitant.

Tobin realized she’d left her ring behind.

She glanced up at the sky. The wingull still tailed them. Darren’s light touch caressed her lower back. She missed being intimate with another person.

Her capture styler hummed. When Tobin pulled it out, The Rotom had left a message:

found something, you slacker. are you even trying??



The virtual reality system ARGO had been closed down due to a malfunction. Tobin had no doubt that The Rotom played a role in the matter. She stared at the hulking machine, hands in her pockets, expression inscrutable. ARGO was a massive spherical building painted nauseating shades of orange. The interior was dark and cool, all the lights shut off.

Beside her sulked Brit. Disapproval radiated off him in waves.

“Chill the fuck out. He stayed with us all last night and nothing happened.”

But Tobin felt a touch nervous herself. She had trained in VR before; motion sickness caused issues almost every time. If this turned out to be some sort of trick she would be pissed.

Clusters of mushrooms clung to ARGO’s walls. They glowed, softly phosphorescent, squat and bulbous, their gills breathing in and out to the rocking of the ship. Several morelull lay huddled together, observing them with dark eyes. The faint scent of moldered yeast lingered on.

Corded ropes hung limp and lifeless on faded rings. The hemp clumps dangled around them like knotted strands of blonde hair. Tobin swallowed down her rising bile.

Her styler turned on. The Rotom had resurrected it, the disc ducking away from her. A line of golden thread stretched out, guiding her beyond a myriad of possibilities. Somewhere in the darkness perhaps lurked the unturning, waiting with shears to determine how another might die.

Tobin followed the line.

It brought her to a cubby filled with VR equipment. She pulled one out, the headgear dark and heavy in her small grip. Tobin started strapping it on before pausing and glancing over at Brit.

He reached for a headset of his own. She shook her head; his hand dropped to his side. Brit’s middle finger burned red.

“This better have a point,” Tobin said.

aw don’t be like that! you can trust me ;)

The words beat against the inside of the VR headset like the face of an alarm clock. A light tingle of electricity arced along her arms. Blue eyes swirling with fractals swam into view before everything went dark.

05:00 05:00 05:00 05:00 05:00
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03:00 03:00 03:00
02:00 02:00
01:00 01:00 01:00 01:00 01:00 01:00 01:00 01:00 01:00 01:00 01:00
00:00

The pied piper was a meloetta who had lost her red slippers. Her once green hair was now bleached white; the black notes crawled across the music sheets in an unending wave. She sounded like the ocean.

She stood at the edge of the bridge, watching a line of rattata line up in a row, as if waiting to be shot. We could tell when others used to be in love; those rattata swan dived into the ocean but didn’t drown. Their wings burgeoned just in time. The rest weren’t so lucky.

We found Arceus—summer haloed by the chirping of kricketune—in the space between trembling whiskers. We were still waiting for our wings, but they never came. Our shoulder blades ached from the lacking.

Underneath the bridge, the cruise liner was docked. It idled in the water like a penned tauros. It could be easy to forget just how large the ship truly was. At max capacity, it held more people than many small towns on the fringes of Unova.

A name tattooed the ship’s side. We realized we had never cared to remember it. It had fallen away in a subtle reckoning.

All the color had been drained from the attractions adorning the ship. They were lifeless. Inert.

Inertia was the tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged. We remember someone we once loved telling us that once upon a time. An object in motion would stay in motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. It was friction, like the friction stemming from rubbing against someone we wanted to fuck.

We asked the pied piper to let her hair down. She listened. It uncoiled off the edge of the bridge with the thudding cadence of a leitmotif.

We climbed down the hair. Music beat beneath our breast. Grey stains cast shadows over our hands. We could go mad here, caught in this liminal space between bridge and boat.

But we returned to earth; our feet brushed the wood floor, anchoring us to reality. The hair pulled away. The music stopped. The silence stretched out before us.

We descended deeper into the bowels of the cruise liner. No one else was around.

The layers were peeling away, leaving only a barren hallway. Panelled walls loomed over us, stripped of color. The sheer volume was so much more prominent without people or pokémon. The ship’s maws were slowly clamping around us.

The hallway opened into a chapel.

An organ covered the far wall. Pipes wove and tangled together like a lower intestine. Music rumbled in rhythm with the ship’s heartbeat as the pedals and keys shifted up and down. It was jazz played in reverse. Painted red eyes bore down from the ceiling.


A NEW PERSPECTIVE WILL COME WITH THE NEW YEAR

Trevor sat sprawled out on the furthest back pew. His pignite lay before him, hogtied, an apple shoved in his snout. Burnt pork filled the sterile air. One sanitizer dispense—of pitch black and rake thin plastic—stood upright beside them.

“It’s a miracle. An absolute fucking miracle,” Trevor drawled. His pignite turned to glare at us. Trevor gestured toward the sanitizer dispenser. “Wash your goddamn hands.”

The clear gel stung. We started with our fingers, then our knuckles, then our palms, then worked our way up to our elbows and finally our shoulders. No one could doubt we weren’t clean. The scent of rubbing alcohol mixed with the scent of smoke. Just to be certain, we even rubbed behind our ears and the back of our neck. It tingled.

“What the hell you waiting for?”

Trevor had pulled out a carving knife. He traced looping circles on his pignite’s skin. The cuts bled white. We looked at them and then at the black confessional box. It threatened to swallow the room whole; it rose above us like an indomitable tower we had to scale.

Each step felt like it might be the last taken. Ever. That final footfall would herald with it billions of eyes closing in unison. We stepped inside.

The confessional box’s interior left us blind. We sat there (the sound of straw being spun into gold could be heard; if only we knew his name) and waited. Salt water dripped from the ceiling into our eyes. We saw clearly for the first time.

Brit sat on the other side of the confessional. Mesh segmented his rubbery skin into miniscule octagonal dots. His throat sac had been sliced away and stapled to the ceiling. He couldn’t speak, only watch.


I have a confession to make:

Before the fires came, there were victini. Their dances turned winter to summer, their dances lit the path to gold. I followed them while the forest burned.

When the fires came, I fled to the hills because I saw in them my own twisted reflection. I hid there while smoke clogged the sky and flames salted the land.

After the fires came, Peppermint guided me to survivors. We rescued them together. I never told anyone anything else, and they gifted me a beautiful gold medal to wear.

Forgive me for I have sinned. My grip is a Midas Touch and my home is a Parfum Palace. I walk through it and see only shattered statues and empty mirrors.

We donned the VR headset dangling opposite us.

The crews’ quarters were much smaller than our own sleeping quarters. We had to duck to enter. Vines were everywhere: curling out of the floorboards, twining out of the cot springs, writhing out of the portholes. The quarters were dark and cramped. Our breath cut itself on razor sharp thorns.

Maria the audino sat huddled in the eye of the storm. The blackened vines contorted and knotted around her, creeping ever closer with each inexorable inhale. Her fur was disheveled and her eyes wet with unshed tears. At first she wouldn’t speak.

We pulled out the capture styler. Circles wound their way through the thick vegetation. They were a beacon of white light shining out from the darkness.

Euphoria sang across the entire cruise liner. It wasn’t real but it felt real. Maybe we were the pied piper all along. Maria the audino turned to face us.

What happened?

“I don’t remember,” Maria said.

Holographic images of people and pokémon flickered in and out of existence. They wouldn’t stop dancing.


Can I help?

“I don’t think so,” Maria said.

Bodies were gyrating on rumpled white bedsheets. Maybe if we squinted we could make out the shapes beyond the shadows.

Why not?

“Because I want to go home,” Maria said.

There were so many people in that room. They would dance until the world ended and maybe even forever after that.

But what about justice?

“There is no justice,” Maria said.

The room vanished and we were alone. Very, very alone.


Could I hew it from the blood of stone?

“Please just let me go home,” Maria said.

She looked tired. Her eyes were starkly blue in a world of black and white.

If there’s anything at all…?

“You already know,” Maria said.

We couldn’t understand. We desperately needed a reason to scream, to break. Just give us an excuse for fuck’s sake.

Maria was so dirty. Soil clogged the pads of her paws. Seeds nested there. Tender shoots burst free; unfurling on the ends were black eggs speckled with off-white dots like semen stains. Perhaps each egg was a new universe waiting to hatch. We would help her become clean again.

We took off the VR headset. Ash coated the inside of our mouth. It tasted like,
I’m sorry I seduced you, left you defiled and desecrated on the altar of your own sad, pathetic creation. Poor, poor child. You can never be a lady now. Who will worship you when I’m gone?

Brit watched us leave. He said nothing because he couldn’t speak. (His eyes said, Just bleed glass. They shatter across the carpet and tear your feet to ribbons.)

The chapel was coated in viscous white liquid. It crept under the pews and flooded the cracks in the wood flooring. There would be no dove with an olive branch here.

Trevor had worked through a chunk of his pignite’s thigh. Blood and gore painted his white throat black. He wiped at the corners of his mouth, smearing even more blood into his pores in the process.

“It wasn’t me.”

We squirted out more hand sanitizer. The dollop sat on our palm, trembling in the still air. We wondered how Trevor figured such a thing could ever be true.

“If you think about it, Goldilocks is, like, that bitch. Not too hot, not too cold, but just right. The golden rule.”

We pressed the palm of our hand against our mouth. The sanitizer tasted sharp and acrid on the tip of our tongue. We spread it along the ridges of the roof of our mouth. Everything became coated in a bitter film. Trevor just laughed and took another bite from his pignite.

“I hate women. I hate everything about them. The way they go to the bathroom in herds like a pack of dumb animals. The way they whisper and titter and backstab each other with a soft word and sideways glance.

“The way their vaginas clench around my cock like the jaws of Charybdis. And then you escape and there’s Scylla off the port bow, that fucking slut. The very thought of a woman’s touch repulses me. If I could live in a world with only men, I would. I would, and I don’t regret it. I’ve never regretted anything in my entire life.”

Smoke was snorting out of his nostrils and plumes of black flames were licking along the edges of his teeth. His pignite grunted and spat out the rotten apple. It rolled away, skirting underneath one of the pews. The apple crumbled to cinders, floating in grey speckles atop the white liquid. The pignite spoke:

“I have sowed the stars in the heavens,
And mine is the silver crescent of the moon.
And as the golden kernels of the stars ripen into golden waving ears of stars
Bearing twenty times more of glittering gold,
I shall mow them with the silver sickle of the moon.”

We drank more sanitizer. We’d forgone using our hands; instead our mouth was under the dispenser, the gel pooling there, leaking out the sides as we desperately swallowed, searching for the fountain of youth. White liquid plinked onto the smooth floor in a steady cadence.

It was close enough to getting drunk. Our uniform was ruined as more viscous liquid gushed around us. Control had been lost. Years of hard work became undone in just a fumbling split second.

When Trevor’s pignite finished speaking we retched, abruptly and violently. Bile burned the back of our throat akin to shame. Dark shapes wriggled within the vomit. They were the bloated corpses of rattata that had not learned how to fly in time.

Trevor began laughing again, and we joined in too. It was a joyless symphony. Sickness still dribbled down our front. Spots irrevocably stained the uniform white. We could rescue every princess trapped in their tower and still never be clean—


The VR headset was ripped free.

Tobin’s mouth had gone numb. A metallic taste akin to electrical fire hummed in the air. She could see Brit gripping the smoking headset tight.

Her vision blurred. Tobin stumbled. Oh, right, motion sickness. Never had it been more obvious that they were at sea. The floor rolled beneath her feet. She crumpled to her knees as everything blurred and spun around her.

“What…” Tobin gagged, clapping a hand over her mouth. “...What the fuck did you do to me?”

The capture disc whistled merrily beside her. It wrote out a message in immaculate cursive, saying:

hey don’t blame me!! I was just trying to show you what I saw :(

have you considered therapy? :o


Tobin seized the disc and made a motion as though to heave it overboard. But Brit caught her arm on the backswing, shaking his head slightly. She glared at his doubles until her queasiness settled.

Then Tobin stood and stormed out of the ARGO without a backward glance.



Soft blue lights shone over the Crystal Wailord. A primarina bartender sat on a rolling chair. It was cast in the shape of a delicate seashell, flared rainbow spots decorating the rim before melding into a pastel cream color.

Every so often the primarina would open her muzzle and release a pulse of sound, solid and singular like the beat of a drum. As it passed through Tobin she tasted alcohol: bloody marys and sapphire martinis. They alternated with each pulse.

Crystalline instruments dangled overhead. They smoothly shifted into one another to form an intricate forest of chandeliers. Orchestral music reverberated from deep within their rock cores.

Tobin nursed her drink—vodka with ginger beer (the primarina had given it to her free of charge as thanks for her services, whatever the fuck that meant)—in silence, playing a modified version of jenga. Whenever she pulled out a block, she took a drink; whenever the tower collapsed, she took a drink. Either way, Tobin lost. She found that darkly amusing.

A glass cutaway exposed the opposite wall. Sea pokémon swam alongside the cruise liner. They conversed with the ship in their own secret language. Everything was blue. It caught in the crystals above and hovered there, trapped.

Miguel sat a few feet down the bar. Sweet-smelling lacquer coated the dark wood. Revolving lights cast a shifting chiaroscuro effect around it, around him. He was alone except for his servine, who lay coiled about his neck. Every few minutes he would check his phone.

Whenever Tobin finished a round of jenga she scooted closer. Closer, ever closer. She felt light-headed and lost within the clouds. The primarina had beat the drum multiple times.

It reminded her of when she’d snuck onto the roof of a company building with Micah. They smoked weed together and she wondered aloud whether one earned the right to be happy. Micah had giggled while Tobin tried not to choke on paranoia.

Her styler buzzed. The Rotom left yet another message:

why are you ignoring me? :(

this is boring

no one likes a sore loser you know >:((((


Tobin could see Miguel’s phone now. The screensaver was a picture of a pretty woman and a young boy with dimpled cheeks. He shared Miguel’s eyes.

“Cute kid,” she said.

Miguel started. His servine whipped around, forked tongue flicking free. Twin recognition lit up their gazes. Miguel relaxed; his servine did not.

“Ah.” Miguel wearily rubbed his bald head. He nodded thanks.

The primarina rolled by again. Tobin hated how the martini’s fruity aftertaste softened the dry gin. The sweetness was overwhelming.

“Can people fall in love too young?” Miguel asked her suddenly. “I was barely an adult. Sometimes I feel so… trapped.”

His words were slurred.

Tobin had married Micah right on the cusp of twenty. Almost ten years spent yoked to another person. What a waste, in the end.

“I think so. And not just people. My job... fucks.” Tobin closed her eyes. The afterimages of lights vibrated behind her lids in time with dancing feet. “I loved it once, I think. And I’ll have to go to a convention and pretend I still do.”

A long pause. Miguel’s face screwed up with intense concentration. His brows quartered into a heavy V.

“Why?”

A simple question, yet a loaded one. On one of the televisions adorning the bar’s wall, the grinning skull of a corviknight was baking in the golden desert sun.

“It’s like, it’s like, it’s like this.” Once the words started pouring out she found they couldn’t stop. “They want you to give and give and give and give some more. ‘S never enough. Never, never, never.”

The long hours had stretched from sixteen to twenty-four-hour shifts. Compassion wrung itself out, transforming into something grey and colorless. Her home wasn’t her home. The station was her home.

“And I think maybe I’m a coward? I don’t know how to make it stop. Fucking circles. I just, I can’t… we’re just reacting. It doesn’t mean shit.”

Tobin pressed her palm against her hand.

She was so tired, an ache that sunk deep into her bones, straight to the marrow. Time with Micah became harder and harder to find. No wonder he was fucking other people now. The job had consumed her from the inside out and left behind an empty husk.

“… Damn.”

“Damn.” Tobin agreed. They toasted in commiseration of their shared misfortune.

The bar was dancing. It was a miracle, really, that a ship this size could sail. How funny if it sank to the bottom of the ocean. Tobin chuckled aloud at the thought.

“Well, well, well. Hiding again, are we?” Trevor slid into the seat beside Miguel, grinning.

Tobin glared at him. Trevor caught her expression. He frowned, his smirk shifting into something more palatably neutral.

“I don’t like you,” she said.

Trevor blinked.

“Have either of you been to parties with the crew?” Tobin continued.

“Dunno.” Miguel was squinting, expression puzzled. “Should I?”

“We go to a lot of parties.” Trevor’s tan remained disgustingly inconsistent. He was still staring at her with raised eyebrows.

“Some of the crew like to gatecrash parties if they can. Especially the rich ones.” The primarina had returned unbeknownst to them. She rested her cheek in the palm of her hand, watching them intently. A pukka shell necklace adorned her slim fur neck. The primarina continued, saying, “Not anymore, though. Leads put a stop to it recently.”

“Why’s that?” Tobin asked. The primarina’s gaze flickered.

A gardevoir walked onto the raised stage and began singing. The crystal orchestra tuned itself to her minor key. The song was so sad, it was almost unbearable. (She sang as if at any moment a sea witch would steal away her voice.) More pokémon gathered on the other side of the glass to listen. They were like remoraid clinging to the underside of a mantine.

“Nothing but trouble, really. Can I get you two anything?” asked the primarina.

Darren had thumped into the seat next to Tobin.

“Having fun without me?” he asked, grinning. “And yes please, darling. Whiskey. Neat.”

“I don’t think that word means what you think it means,” Trevor said, sardonic. He also ordered a drink for himself. Now it was Darren’s turn to look baffled while the primarina whisked away.

“Where’s Brit and Mint?” Darren asked after a pregnant pause.

“I’m not their keeper,” Tobin muttered.

Trevor and Darren’s pokémon were shooting darts at the other end of the bar. Miguel’s servine slithered off to join them. Good riddance.

Tobin ran a hand along the bar. Stains and indentations occasionally marred the varnish, imperfections indicating lost memories. She wished she could sense the past with just a brush of her finger pads.

“She reminds me of Rosa,” Miguel mumbled, lifting his head as the gardevoir continued her ballad.

“Ah, Rosa! Oh, Rosa!” Darren sang in an attempt to break the tension. His voice was rough and out of tune. Both Tobin and Trevor cracked grudging smiles. “Rosa was Miguel’s unrequited love.”

“She was like a super hot gardevoir or whatever,” Trevor added, grinning.

“No. She was a human girl. But her hair was green and she…” Miguel briefly fell silent. “She deserved better. I would have worshipped her. I would have washed her feet and kissed the ground she walked on.”

A pregnant pause followed this declaration.

Trevor rolled his eyes. “You lot are so depressing. Fucking hell.”

He pulled out a cigarette and lit up.

The primarina returned with drinks. She stared at Trevor and then, pointedly, at the sign that read NO SMOKING. Disgruntled, he stubbed the cigarette out.

Tobin ordered more vodka. Everything was too blue. The drum kept beating.

They played several rounds of jenga together. Darren placed one of the pieces between his nose and upper lip, pretending to be a mustache-twirling villain. It got Tobin to laugh. Suddenly she thought she might be violently sick.

She rushed to the bathroom. It was single, unisex. Floral wallpaper and a handsome cabinet opposite the toilet bore down on her. Tobin would never understand the need for a pretty room to answer nature’s call. Some recent previous occupant had sprayed cloyingly scented Fabreeze everywhere. It made her headache worse.

Tobin didn’t vomit. She sat hunched over the toilet and dry heaved for a few seconds. If she could just find release maybe it would be easier. Flecks of spittle swirled in the clear water; shit stains clawed the sides of the toilet. She was alone with her nausea.

At last, she said, “You’re only ever sick when you’re drunk or pregnant.”

Then Tobin sank to the floor and began crying. The sobs were torn from deep in the chest. Her shoulders shook as she gasped for air. It was the sort of crying that made breathing near-impossible. It was the sort of crying that felt a lot like dying.

She fumbled for her phone and dialed his number with shaking hands.

It went straight to messages.

Micah’s wry voice almost set her off again. It was as familiar to her as her own. Tobin sniffled.

“I know... I know I probably shouldn’t call. But I miss you. I wish you were here.”

She hung up, placing her head between her hands. Eventually, Tobin dried her eyes, flushed the toilet, cleaned herself up, and stumbled back to the bar.
 

love

Memento mori
Pronouns
he/him/it
Partners
  1. leafeon
Now that I have read the second part, I see that it may have been a bit silly of me to speculate on the symbolism after having read only the first part. Feels like a lot of it was expanded upon here, and I only grasped the broad strokes. I feel like I understood enough to keep following the story, though. I'm still rereading and mulling over it. This time I think I'll wait until the next, final part before saying more about it. I could stand to brush up on my fairy tale knowledge in the meantime.

It did take some focus to read this, but there was a lot of strong imagery to reward me. As before, there were a couple things I might have changed, but I forgot to write those parts down and now I can't find them again. I hate it when that happens.

Tobin swore loudly. Storming over to the desk, she wrenched the bottom drawer open. Inside the recorder rattled like the warning rasp of an ekans’s tail. Tobin slammed the drawer shut, recorder untouched, sitting down with a thump.

Not sure what this was about.

The dots connected into the shape of a pokéball. It shook once and then clicked success. A critical capture.

Trying to be a little bit more lenient with the figurative language these days, but this one still seemed like a stretch to me

The bit with the victini seemed super important, but I just didn't quite get it.

The long hours had stretched from sixteen to twenty-four-hour shifts. Compassion wrung itself out, transforming into something grey and colorless. Her home wasn’t her home. The station was her home.

Tobin pouring out her heart (at least somewhat) to Miguel was a really clarifying moment for me. Now I understand why she feels so disillusioned and why maybe she doesn't even completely blame Micah for what happened. That line I mentioned earlier, about the medal of valor melting a hole in her chest, makes a lot more sense with this context. This feels like such important information that I wonder if it would have been good to convey it in the first part somehow. Not sure how exactly. But it would probably alleviate that feeling I had earlier of just not really knowing what Tobin is about or how she's feeling at a given moment.

It's weird, though—I think with fics it's relatively common for people to analyze bits and pieces of the story rather than the whole thing, so I wonder if that's part of why I felt like that stuff should have been clarified earlier on.

The rotom continues to be a clever and (at least for Tobin) infuriating character, and entertaining to read. I wonder just what its agenda is and whether it's as carefree as it lets on, and I'm sure Tobin does as well.

Anyway, overall, I found this chapter intense but enjoyed it and feel more invested in the story. I mean, hey, we have an antagonist now, sort of.
 

zion of arcadia

too much of my own quietness is with me
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. marowak-alola
Tobin swore loudly. Storming over to the desk, she wrenched the bottom drawer open. Inside the recorder rattled like the warning rasp of an ekans’s tail. Tobin slammed the drawer shut, recorder untouched, sitting down with a thump.

Not sure what this was about.

It was a character moment where Tobin starts to shut down and then pulls herself together.

The dots connected into the shape of a pokéball. It shook once and then clicked success. A critical capture.

Trying to be a little bit more lenient with the figurative language these days, but this one still seemed like a stretch to me

I did sort of go back and forth on this one. But I kept it because it's meant to feed into the magical realism atmosphere, as opposed to being purely figurative.

The bit with the victini seemed super important, but I just didn't quite get it.

This is kind of tricky to answer without spoiling some important stuff. I will say it's a loose reference to Pavel Bazhov's "The Dancing Fire Maid" fairy tale.

It's weird, though—I think with fics it's relatively common for people to analyze bits and pieces of the story rather than the whole thing, so I wonder if that's part of why I felt like that stuff should have been clarified earlier on.

I struggle with figuring this out too. If this were a longer story I think I'd be more upfront about certain elements. But because it's only three chapters, I want each chapter to have a major reveal that's only hinted at in the prior chapter that changes the context of how you read the entire tale.

The rotom continues to be a clever and (at least for Tobin) infuriating character, and entertaining to read. I wonder just what its agenda is and whether it's as carefree as it lets on, and I'm sure Tobin does as well.

Anyway, overall, I found this chapter intense but enjoyed it and feel more invested in the story. I mean, hey, we have an antagonist now, sort of.

Rotom is fun to write. Ghosts are fun to write in general for me, lots of cool stuff you can do with them. Glad you're more invested, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
 
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Pen

the cat is mightier than the pen
Staff
Partners
  1. dratini
  2. dratini-pen
  3. dratini-pen2
Hi, Zion! When you began posting this, I was excited to see a longer project from you, but I never got around to reviewing. What better time than Blitz to remedy that! Considering that this is the first two parts out of a three part story, with a lot of mysteries hanging in the air, I'm just going to give you my sense of the story and characters so far.

One thing I'm really enjoying is that this story comes from a more mature perspective than most of pokemon fic, and by mature I don't mean dark. Tobin is almost thirty. She has a marriage and career (even if both of them are falling apart.) The internal conflict driving her right now is the result of things she's already done and choices she's already made. I've gotten a strong sense of her personality from these first two chapters. She's blunt, irreverent, aggressive, a bit sullen, and really fucking tired. She's got two major preoccupations, which are not unrelated. First, her husband is cheating on her, which we learn early through the Pandora's box of the tape recording. Is this a recording that he made or something she left as a trap to figure this out? Either option hurts, in a different way. The second--her actions as a ranger. Tobin isn't on the cruise ship just for relaxation. She's headed towards a conference in Castelia, where she's going to be further recognized for her actions in rescuing people from a massive wildfire. But Tobin doesn't feel like she did anything that should be applauded. Rather the opposite, it seems. Her recollection of the fire came through the Rotom-induced vision, so it's a bit opaque, but I gathered that she didn't act as quickly as she thinks she should have. From her perspective, she did too little, too late. Her ranger career is beginning to feel like the impossible is demanded from her on a daily basis and the consequences are terrible if she can't deliver. Her career is what kept her away from home, and so she sees her husband's cheating as partially her fault.

On top of Tobin's internal dramas, there's a mystery to solve on board the cruiser. If I'm understanding right, the Rotom witnessed something horrible and its 'antics' have been in large part an attempt to draw attention so it can resolve what happened. The victim seems to have been Maria, who Tobin notices not being there during the first chapter. Rape was suggested--maybe murder is also on the table. Tobin's really not in a great mental state to be handling all this, but she's going to, because in two chapters, it's very clear that that's the kind of person she is, for better and for worse.

Onto some of the other cast. I like the way you've made each dude from the Young Dude trio distinct. You've painted Darren and Tobin's flirtation with a light brush and I've enjoyed the delicacy and uncertainty of their interaction. Tobin is appreciating the feeling of being admired and wanted by this younger guy at a moment when she is obviously feeling very unwanted. She finds some aspects of his youth a bit ridiculous and hard to take seriously, but other aspects charming. Darren's fascination comes through strongly. It's clear that Tobin feels like someone larger than life to him, in both her personality and her mystique as a ranger. But that doesn't stop there from being moments when he can look at her with the smugness of a young dude. Miguel's the group's quiet one, but his interaction with Tobin at the bar showed a lot of what's weighing on him. He strikes me as someone very dutiful, who can't accept that he's made a mistake. Trevor appears to be suspect number one. I'll wait to see where the cards fall there, but you've done a nice job so far making him feel oily and odious.

I love the pokemon characters in this. They all have very unique voices. Peppermint is my hands down favorite. She is a walking talking magic eight ball and it is endlessly amusing, particularly the fact that she embraces this and uses it to be an annoying, vague asshole. Rotom is also a perpetual troll, but I get a sense of youth and sincerity from them. Despite Tobin's mistrust, I do feel like they're trying to communicate and that they want justice for what they saw. Brit's a quieter character--faithful, and someone I can see as Tobin's primary partner. I enjoy how much they're in sync. One of my favorite things this story does it create that sense of people who have known each other a long time--long enough that you know every bad habit of the other person's.

The cruise itself almost feels like its own character, though part of that sense of animation probably came from the Rotom. Still, there's a grand feeling of opulence, flashing lights, dark surfaces, activity, all desperately whirling around and completely empty. The pokemon employees (are there any human ones?) are there to please and perform, and there's a definite feeling of exploitation threaded into all the interactions. The images are just great as well--the muk dealer felt like a particular brand of decadence, since a muk is hardly the most practical choice for that role.

As in all your stories, this story is bursting with gorgeous images and a deep sense of atmosphere. Electric is a word that keeps coming up in my mind when I think of my overall impression. Static electricity, gathering and causing little bursts of pain. I decided not to do line-by-lines for this in the interests of actually finishing in a timely way, but I do have two quick notes on the prose. I noticed you have a habit of putting a lot of single subject sentences with no dependent clauses in a row. I found that this inhibited a sense of forward motion in the prose. Each sentence creates a stop. Then there is another stop. There are no connectors. So we don't get pushed forward. I'd recommend varying up the syntax in sections like that. Secondly, while I love how you're working with imagery, I think there can be too much of a good thing. Almost every beat of the story has felt purposefully opaque, and that does make it a struggle to read through. I tend to think you're better served by amping up the allusions and imagery where they are most significant, as opposed to all the time.

Some loose finals thoughts on themes I'm noticing so far. Surveillance feels like a big one. Tobin knows about Micah's cheating through the recording-her Pandora's box. Rotom knows about whatever went down on the cruiser because they have eyes everywhere. These forms of surveillance mean learning things that unsettle and things that create obligation. I see a connection there to Tobin's work as a ranger. Her job means she sees a lot of disaster and hurt, and by the nature of her job, that seeing comes with an impetus to act. In Tobin's confession, she sees the victini, but doesn't act until the fire has already come through. There's also a lot here about love and fidelity.

Overall, I'm really appreciating Tobin as a protagonist and her various fraught reactions with the other characters and her own past. Let me know if you do want line-by-lines or anything. I feel like I have more to say about this than I managed here, but I figure saying something is better than nothing. I'm excited to see what part three brings and how it all comes together! Best of luck with writing it--I see how much craft and attention you bring to your prose, so I can see how it may take a long time.

Oh, and a song for Tobin!
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzx0d3pZbdA
 
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K_S

Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Hi, it's been a while, hope all's been well.

Here's my thought on chapter 2 of your three-shot. I did a line-by-line reaction without the quotes to avoid making the word counter a chore.


The setting jump made me raise an eyebrow, clearly, some time’s passed since the stylus event. How long and what happened between those two is something of a mystery but clearly, either Tobin needs to decompress or something messy (psychologically or physically) has occurred. Though seriously with a ghost type knocking around the halls… well it’s a bit creepy thinking about it using any of the building's facilities for anything.

She being a witch and strangled in the reflection… huh… either her mind is a bit unraveled or she’s getting toyed with by the ghost type. Considering this one’s fixation with fairy tales being “the witch” is not a good or safe place to be. They tend to be used for kindling, hopefully, this isn’t foreshadowing of things getting worse…

I’m thinking Peppermint has the right of it and ignorance is bliss.

Spite and research/reflection goes hand in hand it seems. I love how professional her notes are.

Also, love how Brit’s one hundred percent on board with ghost bashing. They’re a pretty well-matched pair. I’m wondering where Brit came to that conclusion about the rape though. I mean it’s strongly alluded or outright in the non-censored folklore but it’s a bit of a stretch and I don’t remember if he was with her with Rotom’s original data sharing or not.

Addiction is very much like a ghost you can’t shake, made all the more horrible because it can be self-inflicted.

Tobin’s very much a person fond of order with her fixation on lines, shapes, and how they fit together be they literally or metaphorically (rules and the like) and I can see why rangerdom appealed to her since the premise is something like police and their need for order.

The fact she sees it as safe makes me wonder how bleeding bad it got with her ex though. It’s one thing to be bothered and irritated by the metaphorical ghosts of memory they inflict but needing to be safe after says volumes.

You know for speaking only in “chicken for the soul and fortune cookie” Peperment’s a sassy bell-thing.

I like how the ‘mons nature comes out during play, water for the water type poison for the poison type.

Darren’s roundabout tale made me think of the la llorona.

And weird is an understatement.

The fact she’s wondering about what Mich would think feels like a bit of a red flag.


And I think it’s supposed to be bean, not beam.


Your description of you ship recalls me so much of the creepiness of the Maw in little nightmares… Something of surreal something savage and something from children’s tales, horridly skewed…



And from a mix match of children’s tales, allusion of personal tragedy, and horrifying imagery we go from Tobin’s nightmares and into the Rotom’s tale.

And yeesh what a nightmare that was.

After Rotom’s little jab I’m surprised Brit and Tobin didn’t set it on fire.

Well Brit’s the more level-headed and chucking your “ally” over the rail is probably a bad move but still, I respect Tobin’s impulse to do so. And then the Rotom wonders why it’s being ignored.

Hmm so Tobin’s wrangling with burnout and Mitch with… well you can’t really burn out of a family but contemplating bailing on that does show his lack of character.

Hmm, I wonder if the setting of the rotom’s “fairy tale” isn’t one of those parties, Tobin might be on to something here….

Ohh calling the ex (drunk calling I’m guessing here) especially when emotionally compromised is such a huge nope move I hope it doesn’t bite her in the back at some point.
 

zion of arcadia

too much of my own quietness is with me
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. marowak-alola
Welcome to an unconventional-ish Torchic review. I'll be reviewing each chapter one by one, giving my thoughts and predictions before reading the next, and then wrapping up with my final thoughts (it's good for my word count, you see) If all works out, I might use this format more.

I found this story by absolute chance; I saw a user online was viewing the thread, so I clicked in to see. The summary and CWs really spoke to me; I like stories that touch on heavier topics.

Chapter One

Oh hey it's my kind of story


Okay upon reading more of this, my assumption is that this is a sex tape of Micah and his mistress (and not Micah and his wife, as I initially assumed). Did Micah film it, or did Tobin? Either way... :whatthefuckle: (positive connotation, love that fucked up ambiguity)

And Tobin stills holds onto it, listening to it over and over, again and again, etc. etc...


Maybe "Just once" would be better?


Commas after "cold" and "soft".



MOOD. Mood, mood, mood. My mouth really likes making mouth noises. Always has. And "fuck" is a very nice word to say for the exact reasons Tobin laid out.


My brain wants to take this literally with the "rage for no reason at all" and stuff like that, but my guess is that it's a metaphor for gambling, and how gambling addictions are driven by a desire to reach that rare euphoria.


The "should" feels a bit weird, but past tense has always been weird to me in that regard.


Foot met mouth? I was confused by this line.


grillz?


Admittedly, I'm not the best at inferring a mon's species from descriptions alone, but I had a hard time figuring out whether or not Peppermint was even a Pokémon.

There's a certain stream of consciousness with the narrative, describing what's going on, describing what's happened, describing things unrelated. It's very psychedelic and surreal in its presentation. Tobin also seems to be plagued by intrusive thoughts of destruction. Is it anxiety, or trauma?

My guess is that Tobin is probably maybe going to cheat on her husband with one of the Three DudesTM...

Chapter 2
I just realized that Peppermint is literally Mr. Schneider.
View attachment 5109

mood

Wandering thoughts, or trauma???

You'll want a question mark after "princes" rather than a period.

I have no idea whether or not this is grammatically correct in the context of the rest of the story being past tense. Like I said, past tense has always been weird to me.

Omg just like in the sex tape

The sharp, white lines bisecting bright, green clay.

Big mood lol

Oh shit. Can I steal this


Oh HELL yeah


I hope it falls off the boat like for symbolism or something


ooooooh this is so pretty


Oh shit I was (kind of) right


Whelp it's surrealism time


Well that's a... way to describe a thing.


missing r


Should the "were" be "weren't"?


This is dialogue and dialogue tends to break grammar conventions, but the absence of an "are" before "you" feels weird for dialogue


Oh. Oh shit.


Quoting doesn't show formatting but The "Why not?" shouldn't be italicized


Oh shit oh shit oh shit is this Rotom's memories and voice and stuff or Tobin's


It does feel weird to say "Tobin stumbled" right after a sentence referring to her as "her".


Okay theories:
1. Incel?
2. Did she get with a bad person?
3. Did she die?

Oh hey I did some research and found the poem that this story takes its chapter titles and big title from: Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out, by Richard Siken. And I have to say, I get it. The poem is very stream-of-conscious, and it's a poem that you get more and more out of the more times you read and reread it. There's an undercurrent of sadness beneath the ramblings (positive. I love ramblings.) And all of that sentiment applies to your story, as well.

Okay so more rambly thoughts:

This is a very mecore fic, omg. The surrealist imagery, the unresolved baggage, the... everything. How did I not find your work sooner???
Speculation: hand sanitizer symbolizes repentance or something
Thanks now I want to actually one day play the Ranger games
Oh right there's a mystery but mostly imagery and feelings
Tobin isn't a morally pure character, but she's certainly an interesting one, and she's certainly a sympathetic one, in my opinion. She believes she drove her husband away because of her job, and now she doesn't even think she's worthy of her job... oof, it hits hard. Her Pokémon are also interesting characters. The Pokémon-human coexistence was very nice to see both with them and on the cruise ship.
As PeN pmentioned, this reads as a very mature story, but not in an edgy sort of way. Like, it's adults doing adult things and going through adult issues. Your prose is very nice and very good, and while I sometimes got confused by the wording of things, I enjoy it very much. I need more trippy scenes in my life.
I don't have coherent thoughts but I enjoy this story a lot. Delicioso. Please update.

And also, if you have any other stories of yours you think I would like, please tell me. Or poems. Or works that inspired yours. I must consume this writing goodness. (I seem to be saying that a lot this Blitz lol)
Grillz are like decorative braces you put in your mouth. (I'm describing it poorly but they're a real thing, promise, often associated with pimps.) Some of the prose here is a little weird because I was trying to be experimental, as part of my 'try different style and tones and genres' concept I've been messing around with off and on, but I'll def track the stuff you noted. And maybe this'll be the kick I need to finish, I've been staring at the half-finished final part for almost a year now.

You're the first person to look up the poem I used. This pleases me immensely, because not only do I love it a lot, it's the thematic backbone for everything going on here. In retrospect I wish I'd emphasized the mystery a bit more, but I'll see if I can't write a more traditional mystery at some point. For poetry, Ocean Vuong and Richard Siken are both marvelous modern poets. I also quite like Savannah Brown and Sugar Magnolia Wilson. Theodore Roethke for someone a bit older. Record of a Night too Brief by Hiromi Kawakami has a similar vibe, as does most of Haruki Murakami's stories, although some of them are a bit... odd, in how they depict women, as a warning. (Killing Commendatore and his short stories are my personal favorites.) And of course, classic magical realism novels from the likes of Gabriel García Márquez and Isabel Allende.

As for other stuff I've written... um... I dunno. I mostly write PMD. You might like Remember Not the Children though, which is a somewhat unconventional OT fic I've started working on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
 
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